Younger (2015–…): Season 4, Episode 9 - The Incident at Pound Ridge - full transcript

Josh and his new Irish girlfriend are invited to the company picnic, where things do not go as planned. Meanwhile Liza tries to keep the truth about her feelings for Charles from his ex-wife.

[rock music]

♪ ♪

♪ Looking up at the sky ♪

What's the name of the town again?

- Tinahely.
- [Irish accent] Tinahely.

[laughs] That's outside Dublin, right?

Yeah, way outside. Where the post office

is also the grocery store.

Once I stepped in horse poop
just so I'd have something to do

- when I got home.
- [laughs]

- It looks green.
- Yeah, it's very green.

- And very different from here.
- Yeah, well,

there's hardly any horse poop here.

You don't need it.

There's street fairs and roof parties

and so many great restaurants.

Japanese, Italian, Korean, Indian...

just on this block. I mean,
who needs to travel?

- Well, what's your favorite?
- Hm, Mexican.

- Mexican?
- We don't have any

Mexican food in Tinahely.

- Another?
- Well, that depends.

What time's your shift up tonight?

- I'm closing tonight.
- [groans] Then yes,

I will have another.

You know I'm just gonna sit
here every single night

- until you're free, right?
- You're sweet.

- Oh.
- And drinking way too much.

Hey! If that's what it takes
to hang out with you,

then that's the price
that I'm gonna pay.

Well, I'm working the
early shift tomorrow.

Maybe we could actually
hang out somewhere

that doesn't compromise
your liver or my tips.


But just to be clear, here.

We're not gonna be just hanging out.

I am gonna take you on a proper date.

Then I look forward to it.

Hey, can we get some beers over here?

You want me to kick his ass?

You should probably go.

[upbeat music]

- Synced and corrected by martythecrazy -
- -

For those of you who aren't aware,

sales of adult coloring books
grew 12-fold last year.

I thought it was just a fad,
but it just keeps going.

And half the buyers
are millennial women.

Yes, your generation continues
to elevate the culture.

Coloring, doodling, cannabis cookbooks.

Ooh, maybe we could combine trends

and release a coloring
book of pot plants.

It comes with, like, edible crayons.

The campaign could be, "This
Coloring Book is so Dope."


I'm done.

[elevator dings]

- Charles?
- Yeah?

I don't mean to step on Pauline's toes,

but I just want to be clear
on my responsibilities...

for the company picnic at
your house on Saturday.

That's this Saturday?

Um, can you take charge
of the preparations

- like you did last year?
- Of course.

We'll need rentals and catering.

Do you mind if I get a
little wild this year

- and serve Asian slaw?
- Whatever you want.

- And thank you, Diana.
- Oh, my pleasure.

And I assume Pauline
will be on the list?


Aren't all of our other authors invited?

Uh, yeah.

So I suppose we should invite Pauline.

And should I call her at...
the house or...

She's at her sister's. Send an email.

That's gonna be awkward,

hosting a woman at her former home.

Luckily, you'll be there
to look after her.

♪ ♪

How you feeling about Pauline
coming back to New York?

It's interesting.

Julia said she's like a different woman.

Jazzed about that book she's written.

- Says she seems really happy.
- It's good to hear.

You guys gonna try to work it out?

I don't think so.

Eh, look, I know what she did was crazy,

leaving you and the kids
to go find her bliss

or whatever, but marriage is crazy.

I wish Julia would leave me for a year.

I'd welcome the break.

It's not that simple.

There's someone else.

What? Who?

I'll tell you when I'm ready. I promise.

Just... please don't mention any
of this to Julia right now.

Believe me, she's the last
person I'm gonna tell.

♪ ♪

[sighs] I think Charles
is seeing someone else.

What? Why would you say that?

Well, a friend said something
and then I went online

and I saw these pictures
of him at some benefit

with this gorgeous woman named Radha?

- Oh, that's over.
- It is?

Well, so... so who is it, then?


you know, I've got to
stop you right there.

Am I here to gossip and speculate

about your husband or am
I here to edit a book

which could have universal
appeal and resonance

for many, many women?

'Cause if it's the
second one, I'm all in.

It's the second one, of course.

It's just I heard he
might be seeing someone.

It's hard to shake it.

Sorry. [chuckles]

Let's get to work.

♪ ♪

- Hey.
- Hey.

Where you going? Hot date?

Yeah, actually. I'm taking Clare out.

Nice. No.


Hey, do you own your tattoo designs

or does the person with
the tattoo own it?

I own 'em. I have the
exclusive copyright

on a lot of flesh in this town.

You know, you could design
an adult coloring book.

What do you mean? Like draw a bunch of

- naked people doing stuff?
- No!

Your tattoos in a book
that people would color.

And who would do that?

13 million people last year.

And I can guarantee you at
least a $10,000 advance.

- Ten grand?
- Yeah.

There is not a whole
lot that I wouldn't do

- for ten grand.
- Great.

- I'm gonna run it by Liza.
- Great.

- Still no.
- Bye.

Have fun.

[Latin music]

♪ ♪

So, uh, tell me about this internship.

You're a tester? You just, like,

get to play games all day or what?

I'm an intern, so I do
whatever people ask me to do.

Anything from coffee to coding.

- That's so cool.
- I love it.

I honestly feel so lucky.

I mean, even if nothing
comes of it, I'm here now,

having the best time.

- Jalapenos?
- Yes!

Mild, hot, loco.

- [laughs]
- Thank you.

I'm actually a jalapeno virgin.

- Really?
- Mm-hmm.

All right, go easy on these.

They're not messing around here.

- Okay, I'm going in.
- That's the mild one.


- Nothing.
- Nothing?

- Nothing.
- All right.

- [exhales]
- Climbing up?

- Not too bad.
- It's getting there, though.

I see it.

- Okay, I'm going in.
- Wait, wait.

Be careful. That is loco.

- You sure about this?
- I'm ready.

Be careful.

- [exhales]
- Oh, my God.

Are you okay?

Oh, my God. That is the hottest thing

I've ever eaten. [exhales sharply]

- My mouth is on fire.
- Sorry.

Wait! Hey!

I think we just popped your jalapeno.

- [laughs]
- [muffled] Mm-hmm.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

Mm, your lips are spicy.

- Should we stop?
- No.

- [whispers] I kinda like it.
- [laughs]

- You okay?
- Mm-hmm.


- Are you okay?
- [exhales sharply] Ooh.

- Yeah, I am just dandy.
- [chuckles]

[romantic music]

♪ Come and see ♪

[trumpet plays]


Aah... [panting]

- What's wrong?
- Ohh... aah...

- Oh, it's like burning.
- What is?

Ohh, my dick. Ohh!

Ohh! My dick is on fire!

- Aah!
- Why?

The peppers! The jalapenos!

[gasps] Oh, my God, the pepper!

Your hands were all over the peppers!

Shoot! What are you doing?

- Ah, I'm swaddling.
- Uh...

Oh, my God, it's getting worse.

It's getting worse. I'm
gonna jump in the shower.

- No! No! No!
- Why?

Water spreads the oils. Don't do that.

What are you looking up right now?

- Jalapeno dick?
- What?

There are a lot of
entries, so we should feel

a little better about that, right?

I think I'm gonna have
to go to the hospital.

- [panting]
- Yogurt.

- We need yogurt.
- What?

Yogurt! Yo... Yes! Right there!

- They all say "Kelsey."
- Just grab the yogurt.

- Come on!
- Okay.

- What's it say to do?
- Uh, saturate it.

- Tots to tip.
- Jesus. Oh, jeez.

- [screams]
- That'll do it.

[sighs in relief]

Oh, my God, it’s so much better.

- I am so sorry.
- [laughs] It's okay.

- It's okay.
- [both laugh]

Ohh. I bet this is the...

best first date you've ever had, huh?

- Oh, by far.
- [both laughing]

[upbeat music]

- [inhaling sharply]
- It still looks a bit angry.

- Angry?
- Well, defeated and blotchy.

- Hey.
- Oh! Sorry.

- Oh, no, we weren't...
- No, no, no.

- Sorry.
- It's none of my business.

Wait, wait.

Did you eat all my yogurt?

Uh... I can honestly say I
did not eat your yogurt.

I'm so sorry. It was me.

Weird Irish girl with
the dairy cravings.

- I'll replace it.
- Oh, that's okay.

Um, I talked to Liza and
she is totally on board

- with everything.
- Wait, so I have a book deal?

- Yeah.
- Wow!

Oh, my God, that's amazing.

- The ten grand thing?
- Yeah.

- I thought you were joking.
- Thanks, Kels.

- So what's the next step?
- Why don't you come

to the company picnic?
You can meet everyone

and shake Charles' hand,
button up the deal.

- You've met Charles, right?
- Uh, a couple times.

- Yeah.
- A picnic sounds fun.

- I don't know.
- No, it's really not that bad.

There's food and drinks and when people

get nice and toasty, there's
a potato sack race.

- both: Ahh.
- Drunk people in potato sacks.

- Well, we have to go.
- [laughs]

I'll text you the address. Come!


- [sighs]
- You don't want to go.

- Nope.
- Not a picnic guy?

No, it's...

not that, I...

when I was dating Liza, I
caught her kissing Charles.

Her boss, the one that
Kelsey wants me to...

"shake hands with."

God, I'm so sorry. That's horrible.

What's worse was...

I was about to propose.

- [chuckles]
- Oh, you were gonna marry Liza?

Past tense.

- Past tense.
- Okay.

Well, I think if you're ever
really gonna move on...

- Mm-hmm?
- Go to the picnic,

prove that you're the bigger man,

and get that $10,000 from his company.

- Yeah.
- [whispers] Yeah.

You're kinda smart, you know that?

I do.

- Ow.
- Oh...[chuckles]

- [inhales sharply, exhales]
- Yeah, not yet.

Just gonna wait here.

[rock music]

♪ ♪

So the watermelon-eating
contest will be followed

by the tug-of-war which
you will referee.

Ooh, great. When's the sack race?

Potato sack race.

Make sure you use the "potato" preface.

Someone complained to
HR that the word "sack"

in isolation is insensitive.

People are so easily
triggered these days.

[overlapping chatter]

Isn't that your ex?

Oh, yeah, Josh. Um...

he's doing the adult
coloring book for us.

I-I-I didn't realize he was coming.

Hm, obviously, he's here
to suck up to Charles.

And throw that willowy
blonde in your face.

Actually, I introduced them.

You set him up with a girl and a job?

- Hm.
- Later we have to have a talk

about how not to be a doormat.

[gentle music]

That's him. That's Charles right there.

All right, best behavior.

Remember, $10,000.

- Ahh, you made it.
- Hey, we wouldn't miss it.

Charles, you remember Josh

and this is his girlfriend, Clare.

- Nice to see ya.
- Thanks for having us.

- Clare, nice to meet you.
- Hey.

Josh is so excited about doing a book

- of his tattoos for us.
- Yeah.

Yeah, I mean, honestly, when
I first heard about it,

I thought it was a little lame.

Until Kelsey explained
what a gigantic market

there is for adult coloring books.

- Right.
- She's not wrong

and tattoos give it a
very millennial twist.

- Totally.
- Millennials, yeah.

Well, uh, nice to see you, Josh.

Nice to meet you, Clare. Have fun today.

- You, too.
- Thanks.

- Nicely done.
- Thanks, babe.


[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- Liza, hi!
- Pauline, hi.


Okay, be honest, sexy or needy?

- Oh, definitely sexy.
- Okay.

- kids: Mom!
- Hi! Hi, guys.

- You look so beautiful.
- Liza.

- Hi.
- You know the girls?

- She's our babysitter.
- She is?

You, uh... You never mentioned that.

- Oh, I just pinch hit.
- She's our favorite.

- Oh.
- [laughs] I'm sure she is.

- We should make wax hands.
- One for mommy, one for Liza?

- Yeah.
- Okay, come on.

- They're great kids.
- Oh, thanks.

Bianca was just in diapers
when we broke ground here.

- You built this place?
- Oh, yeah.

Two years of my life, but did
it on time and on budget.

How'd you pull that off?

I gave the general
contractor a move-in date,

said if I had a certificate of
occupancy in my hand by then,

- I'd buy him an ATV.
- Genius.

Yeah, well, it's just basic bribery,

- but, you know, it works.
- [laughs]

- Do you want a quick tour?
- Sure.

I'll give you the ten-cent tour.


- Lachlan.
- Hello.

- Hi.
- Sweetheart, I want you to meet

Kelsey Peters, my new editor.

- This is my wife, Prina.
- Prenup?

- [sputters]
- "Pree-NA"

Oh, sorry.

Darling, would you like some wine?


So, you're gonna be working
closely with my husband?

Yes. Yeah, very closely.




It's so weird being back.

Charles and I used to host
so many parties here.

We used to call it "Downton Grabby"

because we walked in
on so many people...

- Doing it?
- And doing it well.


Oh, this is my favorite spot.

Oh, I just used to love spending
time here with Charles,

reading, drinking coffee just
looking out at the grounds

And now I'm a guest. [chuckles]

He's even taken down all
the pictures of me.

There has to be someone else, Liza.


Who is that?

[gentle dramatic music]

♪ ♪

- Uh, I don't know.
- I mean, does she work

at Empirical is she someone...

- I have no idea, Pauline.
- Oh, my God, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm not normally like this.

I swear. I just keep feeling like

the other shoe's gonna drop, you know?

Suddenly I'm gonna find out
he's in love with some

hot, young yoga instructor.

- I'm sure I sound crazy.
- You don't sound crazy.

Pauline, I'm so glad you could come.

- Oh, hi, Diana.
- [kisses]

I was hoping I could speak
to you for a moment?

- Of course.
- As Liza has a race

- to officiate.
- Oh! [blows whistle]

Sorry, that was really loud. Wow. Okay.

- Talk soon?
- Yeah.

- Shall we?
- Sure. Yes. Of course.

Okay, up to the hedge and back.

Hopping only. No baby-step running.

And if you drop the sack, you're out.

Hey, hey, just so you know,

- I'm defending champion.
- Okay.

Just so you know, I grew
up next to a feedlot.

Bring it on, country boy.

[intense music]

I just want to assure you
that while I may have

replaced you as hostess for this event,

that is the extent of it.

Nothing is going on
between me and Charles.

I mean, there's tension, naturally,

but nothing has ever happened.


Thank you.

That... means a lot.


On your mark!

Get set!

[whistle blows]


["One More Thrill" by KOLARS playing]

♪ ♪

[crowd gasps]

I'm sorry. You all right?

[crowd exclaims]

♪ I just want to ♪

♪ Live my life ♪

♪ ♪

♪ You just wanna throw ♪

♪ For a lifetime ♪

♪ ♪

- Hey, look...
- It's on me.

What the hell was that?

Sorry, I just get competitive.

So you punched him? Are you crazy?

- I guess I am.
- Okay, well, that punch

- just cost you $10,000.
- I know.

But it was so worth it.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪


Are you okay?

He saw us in the Hamptons, didn't he?

Yeah, I think he did.

Then I guess I had that coming.

Can I take a look?

♪ We always knew ♪

♪ This was just a love ♪

♪ Passing through ♪

♪ Found it in a... ♪

Don't go home tonight.

♪ That we grew ♪

We can't.

My feelings for you haven't changed.

Nothing's changed.

Charles, everything's changed.

♪ ♪

♪ Know that there's no future ♪

♪ Know I have to leave ya ♪

♪ But until I do ♪

♪ Push, pull me tight until it's over ♪

♪ Over ♪

♪ Satisfy and take me
high until it's over ♪

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

I'm really sorry about
how all that went down.

Hey, I have three brothers.

They settle all their disputes

by punching guys in the face.

I do feel a lot better, though.



- Everywhere.
- [giggles]

Think you can be a little
late to the bar tonight?

- I already took the night off.
- Ohh...

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- Liza.
- No one touched the Asian slaw.

So I'm gonna take it home and dump it.

I'm freaking out.

Why would Josh have hit Charles?

Charles and I had a
moment in the Hamptons.

- What?
- It was just a...

spontaneous, irresponsible...

And Josh saw.

And that's why he didn't propose.

Holy shit, Liza.

- I know.
- Did you sleep with him?

- No.
- Good.

I'm gonna give you some advice.

Keep it that way.

Sleeping with the boss
doesn't end well...

for any of us.

[soft music]

♪ ♪

- Synced and corrected by martythecrazy -
- -