Younger (2015–…): Season 4, Episode 4 - In the Pink - full transcript
Liza and Kelsey dive back into the dating pool and quickly discover how complicated it is.
[upbeat music]
♪ ♪
Hey! Go back to bed.
You don't need to be up
for me to stretch canvases.
Oh, please, some of my best art
comes from my worst hangovers.
Here, wait. Let me have this.
Shit!
Never drink absinthe from a food truck.
How about I staple
and you tell me about Josh?
Josh?
You know, super-hot tattoo guy.
Wait, his name is Josh, isn't it?
He would've corrected me
if I said the wrong
name during sex, right?
Wha... Please, tell me you didn't.
Why?
He's Liza's ex.
Wait, Liza, like your roommate, Liza?
What?
Hey, good morning. What you up to?
I banged your ex-boyfriend. I'm sorry.
Okay.
She really didn't know.
Of course not.
Oh, it's fine, really.
Bang away...
like a screen door in a hurricane.
- Okay.
- Yeah, okay.
I'm gonna go to work now.
Have a great day.
[upbeat music]
Oh, shit.
♪ ♪
If no one has anything else,
I have an announcement to make.
After a successful early run,
including a pair of best sellers,
Millennial has quickly
established itself
as a major player.
And while it is already
in excellent hands,
we think its growth
potential is going to require
another executive.
So it is my great pleasure to announce
Millennial's new associate editor...
Liza Miller.
Oh, you guys.
Did you do this?
We all agreed, you're ready.
Oh.
Congratulations, Liza,
and here are your new business cards.
- Ooh.
- Thank you.
This is unbelievable.
What's unbelievable is the
work you've been doing
on an assistant's salary.
I am just happy to work here
in whatever capacity you'll have me.
We are so glad to hear you say that.
There's a bit of a catch.
We're thrilled to give you a raise
and a title bump, but
we can't afford that
and a new assistant for Diana.
But for today, we celebrate.
Yes. We'd like to have you join us
for our yearly wine and
dine with Belinda Lacroix.
1:00 okay?
Of course.
Call the restaurant and change
the reservation to four
and make sure they know
about my dairy allergies.
Congratulations.
[upbeat music]
Associate editor, that's wonderful.
We should have champagne.
Why don't we work on our sidecar first?
Always he scolds me about
drinking too much at lunch.
Didn't bother you when you were 15
and stealing sips of my whiskey.
15? Belinda, how long have
you been at Empirical?
Many, many years.
Many prolific years.
Belinda's been writing a
book a year for Empirical
since the early 1970s.
Her romance novels kept the
lights on for a long time.
Before Edward L.L. Moore,
she was our biggest earner
for over a decade, right?
And I outlasted that old pervert
with his tales of dragons and incest.
Where's my Netflix deal?
No one can get past the romance stigma.
Snobs.
And that kind of snobbery is
just sexism in a tweed jacket.
Men decide romance is silly,
and women feel embarrassed
about reading it.
What's so embarrassing
about a woman being a hero
and having great sex?
You should be a feminist icon.
Feminists! Oh, goodness.
They don't want anything to
do with my books either,
at least not in public.
We're working hard to change that.
That's why I had Liza join us.
We are hoping to introduce your novels
to a new generation of readers.
And I can't wait to hear all about it,
but might I have an escort
to the ladies' room?
I can get down just fine,
but the... the getting up
can be melodramatic.
Why don't we have our new
associate editor do that?
And then you two can get
to know each other better.
Of course.
Wonderful, but we...
we... we... we should go quickly.
Right. Okay.
Uh, Diana and I have
some really fun ideas
about this upcoming book tour,
if you're up for it.
Of course I am.
My fans have become my friends.
Men come and go,
but those women in pink hats,
they've gotten me through a lot.
Yeah, I hear you.
I don't know where I'd be
without my girlfriends.
I mean, I wouldn't have this job,
and... and I wouldn't be in New York.
Don't let all the
unrequited lust fool you.
My books are about women coming together
to control their lives.
Hmm.
Men... [coughs]
Are just candy.
[laughing]
[laughs, breathes deeply]
Oh.
Belinda?
Belinda? Oh, my God! Belinda!
Oh, my God!
Shoot.
[siren wails]
She was fine. She was joking.
And then she was just gone.
I'm so sorry, Charles.
I know what she meant
to you and your family.
Did she... did she say
anything before she...?
The last thing she said was,
- "Men are just candy."
- [chuckles]
It's a great book title.
[organ music]
♪ ♪
Zadie Smith just bummed gum
from me in the ladies' room.
I just saw Danielle Steel
icing Janet Evanovich.
It's like the who's who
of publishing here.
I hate wearing pink. It's
like Barbie's dream funeral.
But it's what Belinda wanted, so I...
That guy seems to be
pulling it off pretty well.
[chuckles] That's Zane Anders.
Rivington brought him in
to run their company.
"Esquire" did a profile on him.
He has a clothing allowance.
He's really attractive.
Yeah. He knows.
Stop ogling the competition.
[gasps] Barbara Walters.
Barbara.
[scoffs]
It's Lachlan Flynn.
- The spy novelist?
- Yeah.
I tore through all of his
books in high school.
Is it weird if I go introduce myself?
Diana's pretty much on
Barbara Walters' lap,
so go for it.
Yeah, okay.
Mr. Flynn. Hi, Kelsey
Peters with Millennial.
Hello.
I don't mean to fangirl at a funeral,
but I read your entire
Grant Stone series twice.
Really?
Now, I didn't realize girls even knew
my books existed.
You might want to mention
that to your publisher.
We're a huge part of the market.
Good afternoon, everyone.
Thank you all for coming,
and thank you all for showing your pink.
[laughter]
Belinda would be sorry she missed that.
I want to say a few words...
We should probably take our seats.
It was lovely meeting you.
The Empirical family for decades.
[lively music]
♪ ♪
So we just buried a woman
in a hot-pink coffin.
I need a drink.
What, dressed like this?
It looks like we bailed halfway
through a breast cancer 10K.
Come on, shouldn't that scare you
into living life to the fullest?
You're 40.
41, actually.
Last week. Kind of flew under the radar.
- What?
- Well, I mean,
we weren't in a good place, so...
Right.
So are we in a good place now?
Yeah.
You did what you had to do for your kid.
I would like to think that my
mom would do something crazy
like that for me.
We're good.
Thank you.
Don't thank me. Come out
and get some birthday ass.
Birth... [laughs]
I-I'll pass on the ass.
Josh is moving on, and so should you.
That's what you do
after a nasty breakup.
- You got to clear the pipes.
- Ugh.
As long as he's the last
person you slept with,
- he'll be clogging your drain.
- That is disgusting.
Come on, it's not bothering you
that he's screwing a girl
that's working in your loft?
Okay, fine, one drink.
But no weird hipster places
where you have to walk
through a fake barbershop
to get to the bar.
Don't worry, we'll go
to one of your places.
What does that mean?
Old, that's what you meant.
They're only old to Work Liza.
That guy at the bar,
he's perfect for Real Liza.
He is hot.
And he... he's totally hitting on you.
- Well, I'm not gonna hit back.
- Why?
Because I'm not getting
involved with anyone right now.
Who said anything about
getting involved?
You don't have to go
collecting an engagement ring
from every guy you sleep with.
Just smash and dash.
Okay, I think I'm too old
for both of those verbs.
Hi, you guys. Sorry I'm late.
Let's get this girls' night lit!
Oh, what's with all the pink?
- Funeral.
- Oh, cool, cool.
Slam those drinks. Let's go blow it out.
It's Tuesday.
No, I know, I know. Okay,
listen, I need this.
I am boo'd up, and I am bored.
Lauren, Max is great.
Um, is he?
You guys, I've been tracking
my emotional journey
through this relationship,
and my sticker system
shows it has been grim.
You have a sticker system?
Mm-hmm, I do, yes.
On the days Max makes me
happy, he gets a gold star.
And the red dots are for when...
When he repulses me and I
want to rip off his beard.
- Okay.
- Come on!
Don't make that face at me.
Listen, Max's dull normalcy
was cute at first.
It was, but, you guys, it has
chipped away at my edges,
and now I'm dull and I'm normal.
Oh, my God, I'm sorry. Is this
an assisted-living facility?
- Shh.
- What?
What are we doing here?
Come on, I need to party with some guys
who aren't afraid to get weird, okay?
Let's go to The Cock. Uh...
Liza? Liza, hello?
Oh, no Cock for me.
No, no. It's Cock, like rooster.
It's... it's a dark, filthy bar.
Oh, no. I-I'm gonna go home.
[scoffs] Kels, come on.
No, I'm not in the mood
for a gay sleaze bar either.
Okay. Well, you're
dressed like a drag queen,
so you're perfect.
Let's go, come on.
Ah. Oh, my God, okay.
- [upbeat electronic music]
- Liza, hop up front.
We'll drop you off at the
L on our way downtown.
Oh, no, it's okay. I'll
get home on my own.
Thanks.
You don't have to go home on your own.
That guy at the bar was
totally checking you out.
- Let's go!
- But you know
because you were checking him out.
Go get some birthday cake.
♪ ♪
Uh, champagne, please.
So where'd the other pink lady go?
What?
Oh, no, these aren't costumes.
We were at a funeral.
Ooh, so you were mocking a death.
No! It was in her will.
I'm just teasing.
You know, like you and
your friends over there
making fun of the old guy
sitting alone at the bar.
We weren't making fun of you.
Oh, that's okay.
I did the same thing
when I was your age.
You never think you're
gonna get this old.
- [clears throat]
- I'm 41.
And I was flirting with you.
Really?
Diego.
Liza.
Very nice to meet you, Liza.
[giggles]
[lively music]
I cannot believe that you
sat for over an hour
with a hot Argentinean architect
and you didn't even
give him your number.
He doesn't even live here.
He's from Connecticut.
He renovating this old bank
building in Greenpoint
into condos.
I mean, look at this place.
[gasps] Oh, my God. That's gorgeous.
- I know.
- Wow.
Maybe you should swing by
there on your way to work.
Maybe he'll be there.
No. I'm not gonna see him again.
It just felt fun to flirt with
someone I didn't have to lie to.
You know what's more fun?
Sex in a construction zone.
[scoffs] Maggie.
Maybe he'll loan you his hard hat.
[upbeat music]
♪ ♪
♪ Find a boy, settle down ♪
♪ Not the same without you around ♪
♪ You mean the world to me ♪
♪ ♪
♪ Steal a kiss, make a dream ♪
♪ Holding hands became a theme ♪
♪ You stole the sun for me ♪
♪ It's a game, and you're on top ♪
♪ Kiss and tell, take a shot ♪
Lachlan Flynn wants to meet for coffee.
He is not thrilled with his publisher,
his contract is up, and we just...
Buried one of our best-selling writers.
Way to pounce.
Oh, speaking of, how did
it go with the hot old...
the hot guy?
[chuckles] You saw me head home.
I saw you head back inside.
One drink. He's great.
I didn't get his number.
Whatever. We can stalk him
online when I get back.
- That's creepy.
- No, no, no.
That is dating. Get used to it.
[upbeat music]
♪ ♪
_
[sighs]
He's about to say he's not coming.
Zane Anders. Lachlan Flynn's editor.
But you already knew that.
Sorry.
Don't play dumb, Kelsey.
You're too smart for that.
I'm actually a fan of Millennial.
It's a cute imprint.
Is "cute" code for "girlie"?
I mean, we do skew female, but
young women still read books.
Young men think they
know everything already.
Well, let me tell you what I know.
Empirical lost one of
its biggest repeaters,
and your boss sent you
to steal one of mine.
No, Charles doesn't know I'm here,
and we're just having coffee.
You did not put on
that sexy little skirt
just to get coffee.
Nice legs, though.
You know, not everyone in publishing
has a wardrobe allowance.
This was all I could put together.
Nice jacket, though.
[chuckles]
You know, I could be mad about this
but you failed so spectacularly
that I'm willing to let you
make it up to me somehow.
I could teach you how to
market your authors to women
so they don't go looking for
new editors at a funeral.
I'll tell you what.
I need a plus-one for this
boring book party tonight.
Is that my punishment? A party?
Who said anything about a punishment?
Text me. I'll send you the party info.
Just keep your hands off my authors.
Deal?
[upbeat music]
♪ ♪
Liza, I realize you're
in a transition period,
and with your new responsibilities
you might not pick up
every one of my calls,
but I don't remember saying
I would pick up yours.
- [telephone rings]
- Oh!
Hello, this is Liza.
Oh, oh, shoot. I think
this is one of yours.
Line three.
Hello, this is Liza.
Hola. Me llamo Diego.
- Oh, wow, hi.
- [chuckles]
So I was kicking myself
for not getting your
number the other night,
and I'm glad to see you
felt the same way.
What?
Well, my security camera spotted a tall,
beautiful 41-year-old woman
from Empirical Publishing
peeking into my windows this morning.
Now, if you wanted to see the place,
I'd be happy to show it to you.
- Oh, that's...
- How about tonight
after work?
Um...
I mean, I'm not sure what
time I'll be done here.
Liza, you don't need to
make a down payment.
It's just a tour.
Sure.
That sounds great. Why not?
All right, perfect, then it's a date.
It's a tour.
Whatever you say.
[upbeat music]
[upbeat music]
I have never felt more productive.
You know, before you started,
I usually made these things
sometime around noon.
Happy to help.
I was thinking maybe we could knock out
the gold leafing tomorrow.
Mm-hmm.
Are you okay?
I can't be your assistant anymore.
I'm so sorry.
I've had so much fun,
and I've learned so much.
I just... I need to focus
on my own work and...
And you feel bad about Josh and Liza.
I feel terrible whenever I see her.
She's so jumpy around me.
Do you hate me?
Of course not, but don't hate me
'cause I can't pay you
till after my show.
You really do not have
to pay me anything.
This was such an incredible experience.
We'll figure something out.
I mean, if I sell enough pieces.
Trust me, you are gonna
sell all of these.
- You think?
- Oh, my God.
I wish I could afford
one of your pieces.
I'm gonna be missing spending time
with my little warrior nymphs every day.
Hey, why don't you take it?
Stop. That... Don't tease me.
No, no, no. I insist.
You've done such a great job here and...
You know what? It's a gift.
Aah!
Thank you!
You're welcome.
And just so we're on the same page...
You do not have to pay me!
[sighs] I'm gonna miss you.
[upbeat music]
♪ ♪
This is so nice. I never
want to leave this room.
But I got surgery.
Missed you.
Ah!
[playful music]
♪ ♪
Hmm, whatever.
- Missed you again.
- Aah!
- Oh, my God, hi.
- What's this?
Nothing. It's my stupid bullet journal.
I don't know. Audrey
Gelman was doing it.
It doesn't even... I
don't really even get it.
You've been grading me?
It's nothing. Honestly, Max,
it doesn't mean anything.
It's just a silly, neurotic exercise.
Look at all these red dots.
You've been miserable
and re... repulsed!
I repulse you?
No. No, you... no.
Okay, listen, this is about me.
Okay, this is not about you.
That's what people say when
they want to break up.
Well, you said that, not me.
Got ya.
[door slams]
[upbeat music]
♪ ♪
Oh.
♪ ♪
Wow, it's so beautiful.
Oh, thanks.
And very unique.
Yeah, a lot of the new
buildings around here,
they're like shiny hotels.
- Ha.
- I wanted to do something
a little more old-school.
You know, that's more my style.
This bedroom's a little
big for its britches.
[laughs] Yeah.
No, sometimes when I'm too tired
to drive back to Connecticut,
I just crash here.
Plus, the view is not too bad.
Ooh, the old pencil factory.
No, no, no, no, you got
to be at the right angle.
Come here.
Trust me.
- [laughs]
- Can you see it?
- Uh, almost.
- Almost.
- Oh!
- Aah!
Oh, my goodness.
Did you mean to do that?
Nah.
Yeah.
[upbeat music]
♪ ♪
Did you mean to do that?
♪ ♪
I'm not even really cold.
I just really like this jacket.
Exactly how much is your
clothing allowance?
Now, that is so sexist.
You would never ask a
woman that question.
[laughs]
I had fun tonight.
You sound surprised.
Not surprised. Staggered.
Shocked, stunned.
Oh, stop flattering me.
[giggles]
I'm this way.
Let me call you and my jacket a lift.
Oh, no, here.
I'll get it next time.
Next time?
You went a whole night
without trying to ruin
me professionally.
You win another date.
If you'd like to, I mean.
I'd like to.
All right, let me get you a car.
You know, "Esquire" was
right about one thing.
You are a gentleman.
I can get my own car.
All right.
Good night.
Try not to be so obvious
watching me walk away this time.
If I can be a gentleman,
you can try to be a lady.
[upbeat music]
♪ ♪
Go.
[cell phone chimes]
_
_
[sighs]
[upbeat electronic music]
♪ ♪
What?
Come on, are you sure you're over 40?
'Cause last night sitting in
the bar, I could have sworn
you and your friends were
just giggly young girls.
[laughs] It's just the
perks of a pink dress.
Well, you're not wearing anything now.
Hmm.
Mm.
Come here.
Can you keep a secret?
I can try.
[chuckles] Okay.
I don't usually tell people this, but...
at work, my bosses think I'm 27.
[laughs] And why do they think that?
Because it's what I told them.
Hmm, interesting. [laughs]
That and your youthful beauty.
No.
That was the only way
I could get a job...
lying about my age.
Now everyone at work
thinks I'm a millennial
instead of a... almost-divorced mother
of a college student.
"Almost-divorced"?
It's...
Long story.
It's all over but the paperwork.
Yeah, if you say so.
No, I'm serious, we're done.
No, I believe you.
Besides, it would be hypocritical of me
to be upset.
You're married?
You're married.
Mine's over. Is yours over?
Uh...
Oh, my God, please tell
me you don't have kids.
What?
I don't see what the big deal is.
You're 27 at work, and
I'm single in New York.
[sighs]
[light music]
♪ ♪
Hey, what's going on?
Oh, we needed a girls' night.
How was your date?
Ugh, I don't want to talk about it.
Oh.
Lauren, are you okay?
[sniffles]
[sobbing]
She doesn't want to
talk about it either.
[continues crying]
You know what? We'll get
back to reality tomorrow.
Come on, sit, we're gonna
watch "The Crown."
[Cathy Heller's "Heart of a Hero"]
♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪
♪ So many times I chose to run ♪
♪ So many times I held my tongue ♪
♪ I held my tongue ♪
♪ I fell down but I got right back up ♪
♪ And now I'm stronger ♪
♪ I've got the heart of a hero ♪
♪ ♪
Hey! Go back to bed.
You don't need to be up
for me to stretch canvases.
Oh, please, some of my best art
comes from my worst hangovers.
Here, wait. Let me have this.
Shit!
Never drink absinthe from a food truck.
How about I staple
and you tell me about Josh?
Josh?
You know, super-hot tattoo guy.
Wait, his name is Josh, isn't it?
He would've corrected me
if I said the wrong
name during sex, right?
Wha... Please, tell me you didn't.
Why?
He's Liza's ex.
Wait, Liza, like your roommate, Liza?
What?
Hey, good morning. What you up to?
I banged your ex-boyfriend. I'm sorry.
Okay.
She really didn't know.
Of course not.
Oh, it's fine, really.
Bang away...
like a screen door in a hurricane.
- Okay.
- Yeah, okay.
I'm gonna go to work now.
Have a great day.
[upbeat music]
Oh, shit.
♪ ♪
If no one has anything else,
I have an announcement to make.
After a successful early run,
including a pair of best sellers,
Millennial has quickly
established itself
as a major player.
And while it is already
in excellent hands,
we think its growth
potential is going to require
another executive.
So it is my great pleasure to announce
Millennial's new associate editor...
Liza Miller.
Oh, you guys.
Did you do this?
We all agreed, you're ready.
Oh.
Congratulations, Liza,
and here are your new business cards.
- Ooh.
- Thank you.
This is unbelievable.
What's unbelievable is the
work you've been doing
on an assistant's salary.
I am just happy to work here
in whatever capacity you'll have me.
We are so glad to hear you say that.
There's a bit of a catch.
We're thrilled to give you a raise
and a title bump, but
we can't afford that
and a new assistant for Diana.
But for today, we celebrate.
Yes. We'd like to have you join us
for our yearly wine and
dine with Belinda Lacroix.
1:00 okay?
Of course.
Call the restaurant and change
the reservation to four
and make sure they know
about my dairy allergies.
Congratulations.
[upbeat music]
Associate editor, that's wonderful.
We should have champagne.
Why don't we work on our sidecar first?
Always he scolds me about
drinking too much at lunch.
Didn't bother you when you were 15
and stealing sips of my whiskey.
15? Belinda, how long have
you been at Empirical?
Many, many years.
Many prolific years.
Belinda's been writing a
book a year for Empirical
since the early 1970s.
Her romance novels kept the
lights on for a long time.
Before Edward L.L. Moore,
she was our biggest earner
for over a decade, right?
And I outlasted that old pervert
with his tales of dragons and incest.
Where's my Netflix deal?
No one can get past the romance stigma.
Snobs.
And that kind of snobbery is
just sexism in a tweed jacket.
Men decide romance is silly,
and women feel embarrassed
about reading it.
What's so embarrassing
about a woman being a hero
and having great sex?
You should be a feminist icon.
Feminists! Oh, goodness.
They don't want anything to
do with my books either,
at least not in public.
We're working hard to change that.
That's why I had Liza join us.
We are hoping to introduce your novels
to a new generation of readers.
And I can't wait to hear all about it,
but might I have an escort
to the ladies' room?
I can get down just fine,
but the... the getting up
can be melodramatic.
Why don't we have our new
associate editor do that?
And then you two can get
to know each other better.
Of course.
Wonderful, but we...
we... we... we should go quickly.
Right. Okay.
Uh, Diana and I have
some really fun ideas
about this upcoming book tour,
if you're up for it.
Of course I am.
My fans have become my friends.
Men come and go,
but those women in pink hats,
they've gotten me through a lot.
Yeah, I hear you.
I don't know where I'd be
without my girlfriends.
I mean, I wouldn't have this job,
and... and I wouldn't be in New York.
Don't let all the
unrequited lust fool you.
My books are about women coming together
to control their lives.
Hmm.
Men... [coughs]
Are just candy.
[laughing]
[laughs, breathes deeply]
Oh.
Belinda?
Belinda? Oh, my God! Belinda!
Oh, my God!
Shoot.
[siren wails]
She was fine. She was joking.
And then she was just gone.
I'm so sorry, Charles.
I know what she meant
to you and your family.
Did she... did she say
anything before she...?
The last thing she said was,
- "Men are just candy."
- [chuckles]
It's a great book title.
[organ music]
♪ ♪
Zadie Smith just bummed gum
from me in the ladies' room.
I just saw Danielle Steel
icing Janet Evanovich.
It's like the who's who
of publishing here.
I hate wearing pink. It's
like Barbie's dream funeral.
But it's what Belinda wanted, so I...
That guy seems to be
pulling it off pretty well.
[chuckles] That's Zane Anders.
Rivington brought him in
to run their company.
"Esquire" did a profile on him.
He has a clothing allowance.
He's really attractive.
Yeah. He knows.
Stop ogling the competition.
[gasps] Barbara Walters.
Barbara.
[scoffs]
It's Lachlan Flynn.
- The spy novelist?
- Yeah.
I tore through all of his
books in high school.
Is it weird if I go introduce myself?
Diana's pretty much on
Barbara Walters' lap,
so go for it.
Yeah, okay.
Mr. Flynn. Hi, Kelsey
Peters with Millennial.
Hello.
I don't mean to fangirl at a funeral,
but I read your entire
Grant Stone series twice.
Really?
Now, I didn't realize girls even knew
my books existed.
You might want to mention
that to your publisher.
We're a huge part of the market.
Good afternoon, everyone.
Thank you all for coming,
and thank you all for showing your pink.
[laughter]
Belinda would be sorry she missed that.
I want to say a few words...
We should probably take our seats.
It was lovely meeting you.
The Empirical family for decades.
[lively music]
♪ ♪
So we just buried a woman
in a hot-pink coffin.
I need a drink.
What, dressed like this?
It looks like we bailed halfway
through a breast cancer 10K.
Come on, shouldn't that scare you
into living life to the fullest?
You're 40.
41, actually.
Last week. Kind of flew under the radar.
- What?
- Well, I mean,
we weren't in a good place, so...
Right.
So are we in a good place now?
Yeah.
You did what you had to do for your kid.
I would like to think that my
mom would do something crazy
like that for me.
We're good.
Thank you.
Don't thank me. Come out
and get some birthday ass.
Birth... [laughs]
I-I'll pass on the ass.
Josh is moving on, and so should you.
That's what you do
after a nasty breakup.
- You got to clear the pipes.
- Ugh.
As long as he's the last
person you slept with,
- he'll be clogging your drain.
- That is disgusting.
Come on, it's not bothering you
that he's screwing a girl
that's working in your loft?
Okay, fine, one drink.
But no weird hipster places
where you have to walk
through a fake barbershop
to get to the bar.
Don't worry, we'll go
to one of your places.
What does that mean?
Old, that's what you meant.
They're only old to Work Liza.
That guy at the bar,
he's perfect for Real Liza.
He is hot.
And he... he's totally hitting on you.
- Well, I'm not gonna hit back.
- Why?
Because I'm not getting
involved with anyone right now.
Who said anything about
getting involved?
You don't have to go
collecting an engagement ring
from every guy you sleep with.
Just smash and dash.
Okay, I think I'm too old
for both of those verbs.
Hi, you guys. Sorry I'm late.
Let's get this girls' night lit!
Oh, what's with all the pink?
- Funeral.
- Oh, cool, cool.
Slam those drinks. Let's go blow it out.
It's Tuesday.
No, I know, I know. Okay,
listen, I need this.
I am boo'd up, and I am bored.
Lauren, Max is great.
Um, is he?
You guys, I've been tracking
my emotional journey
through this relationship,
and my sticker system
shows it has been grim.
You have a sticker system?
Mm-hmm, I do, yes.
On the days Max makes me
happy, he gets a gold star.
And the red dots are for when...
When he repulses me and I
want to rip off his beard.
- Okay.
- Come on!
Don't make that face at me.
Listen, Max's dull normalcy
was cute at first.
It was, but, you guys, it has
chipped away at my edges,
and now I'm dull and I'm normal.
Oh, my God, I'm sorry. Is this
an assisted-living facility?
- Shh.
- What?
What are we doing here?
Come on, I need to party with some guys
who aren't afraid to get weird, okay?
Let's go to The Cock. Uh...
Liza? Liza, hello?
Oh, no Cock for me.
No, no. It's Cock, like rooster.
It's... it's a dark, filthy bar.
Oh, no. I-I'm gonna go home.
[scoffs] Kels, come on.
No, I'm not in the mood
for a gay sleaze bar either.
Okay. Well, you're
dressed like a drag queen,
so you're perfect.
Let's go, come on.
Ah. Oh, my God, okay.
- [upbeat electronic music]
- Liza, hop up front.
We'll drop you off at the
L on our way downtown.
Oh, no, it's okay. I'll
get home on my own.
Thanks.
You don't have to go home on your own.
That guy at the bar was
totally checking you out.
- Let's go!
- But you know
because you were checking him out.
Go get some birthday cake.
♪ ♪
Uh, champagne, please.
So where'd the other pink lady go?
What?
Oh, no, these aren't costumes.
We were at a funeral.
Ooh, so you were mocking a death.
No! It was in her will.
I'm just teasing.
You know, like you and
your friends over there
making fun of the old guy
sitting alone at the bar.
We weren't making fun of you.
Oh, that's okay.
I did the same thing
when I was your age.
You never think you're
gonna get this old.
- [clears throat]
- I'm 41.
And I was flirting with you.
Really?
Diego.
Liza.
Very nice to meet you, Liza.
[giggles]
[lively music]
I cannot believe that you
sat for over an hour
with a hot Argentinean architect
and you didn't even
give him your number.
He doesn't even live here.
He's from Connecticut.
He renovating this old bank
building in Greenpoint
into condos.
I mean, look at this place.
[gasps] Oh, my God. That's gorgeous.
- I know.
- Wow.
Maybe you should swing by
there on your way to work.
Maybe he'll be there.
No. I'm not gonna see him again.
It just felt fun to flirt with
someone I didn't have to lie to.
You know what's more fun?
Sex in a construction zone.
[scoffs] Maggie.
Maybe he'll loan you his hard hat.
[upbeat music]
♪ ♪
♪ Find a boy, settle down ♪
♪ Not the same without you around ♪
♪ You mean the world to me ♪
♪ ♪
♪ Steal a kiss, make a dream ♪
♪ Holding hands became a theme ♪
♪ You stole the sun for me ♪
♪ It's a game, and you're on top ♪
♪ Kiss and tell, take a shot ♪
Lachlan Flynn wants to meet for coffee.
He is not thrilled with his publisher,
his contract is up, and we just...
Buried one of our best-selling writers.
Way to pounce.
Oh, speaking of, how did
it go with the hot old...
the hot guy?
[chuckles] You saw me head home.
I saw you head back inside.
One drink. He's great.
I didn't get his number.
Whatever. We can stalk him
online when I get back.
- That's creepy.
- No, no, no.
That is dating. Get used to it.
[upbeat music]
♪ ♪
_
[sighs]
He's about to say he's not coming.
Zane Anders. Lachlan Flynn's editor.
But you already knew that.
Sorry.
Don't play dumb, Kelsey.
You're too smart for that.
I'm actually a fan of Millennial.
It's a cute imprint.
Is "cute" code for "girlie"?
I mean, we do skew female, but
young women still read books.
Young men think they
know everything already.
Well, let me tell you what I know.
Empirical lost one of
its biggest repeaters,
and your boss sent you
to steal one of mine.
No, Charles doesn't know I'm here,
and we're just having coffee.
You did not put on
that sexy little skirt
just to get coffee.
Nice legs, though.
You know, not everyone in publishing
has a wardrobe allowance.
This was all I could put together.
Nice jacket, though.
[chuckles]
You know, I could be mad about this
but you failed so spectacularly
that I'm willing to let you
make it up to me somehow.
I could teach you how to
market your authors to women
so they don't go looking for
new editors at a funeral.
I'll tell you what.
I need a plus-one for this
boring book party tonight.
Is that my punishment? A party?
Who said anything about a punishment?
Text me. I'll send you the party info.
Just keep your hands off my authors.
Deal?
[upbeat music]
♪ ♪
Liza, I realize you're
in a transition period,
and with your new responsibilities
you might not pick up
every one of my calls,
but I don't remember saying
I would pick up yours.
- [telephone rings]
- Oh!
Hello, this is Liza.
Oh, oh, shoot. I think
this is one of yours.
Line three.
Hello, this is Liza.
Hola. Me llamo Diego.
- Oh, wow, hi.
- [chuckles]
So I was kicking myself
for not getting your
number the other night,
and I'm glad to see you
felt the same way.
What?
Well, my security camera spotted a tall,
beautiful 41-year-old woman
from Empirical Publishing
peeking into my windows this morning.
Now, if you wanted to see the place,
I'd be happy to show it to you.
- Oh, that's...
- How about tonight
after work?
Um...
I mean, I'm not sure what
time I'll be done here.
Liza, you don't need to
make a down payment.
It's just a tour.
Sure.
That sounds great. Why not?
All right, perfect, then it's a date.
It's a tour.
Whatever you say.
[upbeat music]
[upbeat music]
I have never felt more productive.
You know, before you started,
I usually made these things
sometime around noon.
Happy to help.
I was thinking maybe we could knock out
the gold leafing tomorrow.
Mm-hmm.
Are you okay?
I can't be your assistant anymore.
I'm so sorry.
I've had so much fun,
and I've learned so much.
I just... I need to focus
on my own work and...
And you feel bad about Josh and Liza.
I feel terrible whenever I see her.
She's so jumpy around me.
Do you hate me?
Of course not, but don't hate me
'cause I can't pay you
till after my show.
You really do not have
to pay me anything.
This was such an incredible experience.
We'll figure something out.
I mean, if I sell enough pieces.
Trust me, you are gonna
sell all of these.
- You think?
- Oh, my God.
I wish I could afford
one of your pieces.
I'm gonna be missing spending time
with my little warrior nymphs every day.
Hey, why don't you take it?
Stop. That... Don't tease me.
No, no, no. I insist.
You've done such a great job here and...
You know what? It's a gift.
Aah!
Thank you!
You're welcome.
And just so we're on the same page...
You do not have to pay me!
[sighs] I'm gonna miss you.
[upbeat music]
♪ ♪
This is so nice. I never
want to leave this room.
But I got surgery.
Missed you.
Ah!
[playful music]
♪ ♪
Hmm, whatever.
- Missed you again.
- Aah!
- Oh, my God, hi.
- What's this?
Nothing. It's my stupid bullet journal.
I don't know. Audrey
Gelman was doing it.
It doesn't even... I
don't really even get it.
You've been grading me?
It's nothing. Honestly, Max,
it doesn't mean anything.
It's just a silly, neurotic exercise.
Look at all these red dots.
You've been miserable
and re... repulsed!
I repulse you?
No. No, you... no.
Okay, listen, this is about me.
Okay, this is not about you.
That's what people say when
they want to break up.
Well, you said that, not me.
Got ya.
[door slams]
[upbeat music]
♪ ♪
Oh.
♪ ♪
Wow, it's so beautiful.
Oh, thanks.
And very unique.
Yeah, a lot of the new
buildings around here,
they're like shiny hotels.
- Ha.
- I wanted to do something
a little more old-school.
You know, that's more my style.
This bedroom's a little
big for its britches.
[laughs] Yeah.
No, sometimes when I'm too tired
to drive back to Connecticut,
I just crash here.
Plus, the view is not too bad.
Ooh, the old pencil factory.
No, no, no, no, you got
to be at the right angle.
Come here.
Trust me.
- [laughs]
- Can you see it?
- Uh, almost.
- Almost.
- Oh!
- Aah!
Oh, my goodness.
Did you mean to do that?
Nah.
Yeah.
[upbeat music]
♪ ♪
Did you mean to do that?
♪ ♪
I'm not even really cold.
I just really like this jacket.
Exactly how much is your
clothing allowance?
Now, that is so sexist.
You would never ask a
woman that question.
[laughs]
I had fun tonight.
You sound surprised.
Not surprised. Staggered.
Shocked, stunned.
Oh, stop flattering me.
[giggles]
I'm this way.
Let me call you and my jacket a lift.
Oh, no, here.
I'll get it next time.
Next time?
You went a whole night
without trying to ruin
me professionally.
You win another date.
If you'd like to, I mean.
I'd like to.
All right, let me get you a car.
You know, "Esquire" was
right about one thing.
You are a gentleman.
I can get my own car.
All right.
Good night.
Try not to be so obvious
watching me walk away this time.
If I can be a gentleman,
you can try to be a lady.
[upbeat music]
♪ ♪
Go.
[cell phone chimes]
_
_
[sighs]
[upbeat electronic music]
♪ ♪
What?
Come on, are you sure you're over 40?
'Cause last night sitting in
the bar, I could have sworn
you and your friends were
just giggly young girls.
[laughs] It's just the
perks of a pink dress.
Well, you're not wearing anything now.
Hmm.
Mm.
Come here.
Can you keep a secret?
I can try.
[chuckles] Okay.
I don't usually tell people this, but...
at work, my bosses think I'm 27.
[laughs] And why do they think that?
Because it's what I told them.
Hmm, interesting. [laughs]
That and your youthful beauty.
No.
That was the only way
I could get a job...
lying about my age.
Now everyone at work
thinks I'm a millennial
instead of a... almost-divorced mother
of a college student.
"Almost-divorced"?
It's...
Long story.
It's all over but the paperwork.
Yeah, if you say so.
No, I'm serious, we're done.
No, I believe you.
Besides, it would be hypocritical of me
to be upset.
You're married?
You're married.
Mine's over. Is yours over?
Uh...
Oh, my God, please tell
me you don't have kids.
What?
I don't see what the big deal is.
You're 27 at work, and
I'm single in New York.
[sighs]
[light music]
♪ ♪
Hey, what's going on?
Oh, we needed a girls' night.
How was your date?
Ugh, I don't want to talk about it.
Oh.
Lauren, are you okay?
[sniffles]
[sobbing]
She doesn't want to
talk about it either.
[continues crying]
You know what? We'll get
back to reality tomorrow.
Come on, sit, we're gonna
watch "The Crown."
[Cathy Heller's "Heart of a Hero"]
♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪
♪ So many times I chose to run ♪
♪ So many times I held my tongue ♪
♪ I held my tongue ♪
♪ I fell down but I got right back up ♪
♪ And now I'm stronger ♪
♪ I've got the heart of a hero ♪