Younger (2015–…): Season 1, Episode 6 - Shedonism - full transcript

[upbeat electronic music]
¶ ¶
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So i don't think i can do those things.
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I thought the same thing when i first joined crossfit,
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But i bet you'll surprise yourself.
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I know you have the stamina.
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Well, i have a very inspiring coach.
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Do your best, all right.
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I want this to be our thing.
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It's a lot of fun, okay?
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- Okay. - Okay.
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[claps]
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[whistle chirps]
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(man) all right, listen up, class.
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Today's workout is ida.
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- I hate ida. - Who's ida?
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Ida is a mean, cold-hearted bitch.
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Ida will find your weak spots and exploit them.
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Ida is 500 sit-ups, 200 burpees,
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100 olympic clean and presses,
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Then the three timed heats.
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Don't worry.
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It sounds worse than it actually is.
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Now, i'm required by our lawyers to read this statement aloud.
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"this is a strenuous workout.
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"and we are not scaling in here.
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"so if you're 40 or older,
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Proceed at your own risk."
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(man) all right, guys. Spread out.
[whistle chirps]
(man) all right, guys. Spread out.
Burpees.
(man) all right, guys. Spread out.
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¶ ¶
[upbeat pop music]
She-donism,
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The latest soon-to-be best seller
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By our very own annabelle bancroft.
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Annabelle will be doing andy cohen tonight
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And hoda and kathie lee tomorrow
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Before heading off on her ten-city book tour.
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I just want to say i read the book last night,
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Loved it.
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For those of you who haven't seen the galleys,
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The book is about three best friends,
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All recently divorced,
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Who make a slut pact never to remarry.
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Marketing has created t-shirts to be given away
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At point of purchase
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And at the she-donism book launch party tomorrow night.
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Liza.
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I'd like to bring anton bjornberg.
He's alone here. His family's in sweden.
I'd like to bring anton bjornberg.
Also, he'd get to see what to expect for his own launch party.
I'd like to bring anton bjornberg.
By all means, invite him.
I'd like to bring anton bjornberg.
Thank you.
I'd like to bring anton bjornberg.
Just don't give him false expectations
I'd like to bring anton bjornberg.
About his own book launch.
I'd like to bring anton bjornberg.
Not everyone can have champagne in fur-wrapped bottles.
I'd like to bring anton bjornberg.
I need you to double confirm the rsvp list
And make sure anderson cooper's office knows
I need you to double confirm the rsvp list
We will be sending a car for him
I need you to double confirm the rsvp list
And his hot latin boyfriend.
I need you to double confirm the rsvp list
Done and done.
I need you to double confirm the rsvp list
And annabelle insists that all the vodka tomorrow night--
I need you to double confirm the rsvp list
Organic and gluten-free. Got it.
I need you to double confirm the rsvp list
Are you limping? What's wrong?
I need you to double confirm the rsvp list
I need you not crippled right now.
I need you to double confirm the rsvp list
I'm sorry.
I need you to double confirm the rsvp list
I took a crossfit class this morning,
I need you to double confirm the rsvp list
And i think i tore my-- everything.
I need you to double confirm the rsvp list
Liza, when i was your age, i could run a 10k
I need you to double confirm the rsvp list
And rehydrate with white russians.
I need you to double confirm the rsvp list
Oh, god, help us.
She's smoking in my office.
Oh, god, help us.
[laughs]
Oh, god, help us.
Sweetie.
(diana) annabelle.
Sweetie.
Oh, nobody told me you were here.
Sweetie.
I have some concerns about tomorrow night.
Sweetie.
I saw the media alert for the party.
Sweetie.
And, frankly, i'm not happy.
Sweetie.
Annabelle, it's going to be a fantastic event
Sweetie.
In one of the hottest clubs in the meatpacking district.
Sweetie.
Which would all be just so exciting
Sweetie.
If this was 2003.
Sweetie.
Why not just go all the way and invite paris hilton?
Sweetie.
She passed...
Sweetie.
Because she wasn't invited.
Sweetie.
Sweetie, you're phoning it in.
Sweetie.
This party should be somewhere interesting,
Sweetie.
Like in an industrial shipping container
Sweetie.
Or some skanky club in brooklyn.
Sweetie.
Liza lives in brooklyn.
Sweetie.
- Who? - Liza.
Sweetie.
My assistant, liza. She lives in brooklyn.
Sweetie.
Uh, yes, that's right.
Sweetie.
I--i live in williamsburg.
Sweetie.
Is that the t-shirt?
Sweetie.
Annabelle bancroft.
Sweetie.
It is so nice to meet you, liza.
Sweetie.
Annabelle, may i just say what a fan i am of your work.
Sweetie.
I've read all your books.
Sweetie.
I loved mantastic and goldman sex.
Sweetie.
Liza, just what are we gonna do about this party?
Sweetie.
I spent the last year like a little mouse
Sweetie.
In my little mouse house typing and typing,
Sweetie.
And now i just want to have a good time.
Sweetie.
Of course. That's what we're here for.
Sweetie.
I want this party to be epic.
Sweetie.
I want hot men and live peacocks
Sweetie.
And young people that no one would ever think
Sweetie.
To invite to something like this,
Sweetie.
Because they're under the radar
Sweetie.
And much too interesting to bother.
Sweetie.
They're on the cusp.
Sweetie.
Do you know what i'm saying, liza?
Sweetie.
Um, yes, yes, i do.
Sweetie.
You want cusp-ers,
Sweetie.
Young cusp-ers.
Sweetie.
She knows what i'm talking about.
Sweetie.
Liza is my secret weapon for all things youth culture.
Sweetie.
She's dating a tattoo artist.
Sweetie.
Uh, yes, that's true.
Sweetie.
He's pretty amazing.
Sweetie.
He's invited.
Sweetie.
Liza's going to step up and really take charge
Sweetie.
Of making sure this party is fun, young, and hot.
Sweetie.
In fact, i'm going to make her run point
Sweetie.
For the party tomorrow.
Sweetie.
Me?
Sweetie.
Oh, wow.
Sweetie.
Oh, god, please tell me you're not one of those
Sweetie.
Earnest millenials who's never had a cigarette
Sweetie.
And thinks her parents are heroes.
Sweetie.
Nope. Definitely not.
Sweetie.
Guess who's just been promoted to point person
On the she-donism party?
Guess who's just been promoted to point person
What?
Guess who's just been promoted to point person
Diana is giving up control?
Guess who's just been promoted to point person
Annabelle wants a younger vibe.
Guess who's just been promoted to point person
Of course she does.
Guess who's just been promoted to point person
I'm sure she also has some young intern
Guess who's just been promoted to point person
Writing her tweets.
Guess who's just been promoted to point person
It's really amazing to me
Guess who's just been promoted to point person
The way this older generation just totally exploits us
Guess who's just been promoted to point person
To try to seem relevant.
Guess who's just been promoted to point person
Uh, totally.
Guess who's just been promoted to point person
We should file a class-action lawsuit
Guess who's just been promoted to point person
On behalf of exploited youth.
Guess who's just been promoted to point person
(kelsey) right?
Guess who's just been promoted to point person
And then use that money to pay for their social security,
Guess who's just been promoted to point person
Which will go totally bankrupt by the time we need it.
Guess who's just been promoted to point person
Everything okay?
Uh, i--i don't know.
Everything okay?
It's my ex...
Everything okay?
My exercise instructor.
Everything okay?
He's worried about me.
Everything okay?
That is so nice of him to check in on you.
Everything okay?
Yeah, i mean, it was a really strenuous class.
Everything okay?
Um, you know what,
Everything okay?
Why don't you go to lunch without me.
Everything okay?
I'm gonna let him know that i'm okay.
Everything okay?
Okay.
Everything okay?
(liza) david.
Liza.
(liza) david.
Thanks for coming.
(liza) david.
You look great.
(liza) david.
- Thank you. - Sit down.
(liza) david.
I can only stay for a few minutes.
(liza) david.
Yeah.
(liza) david.
Can we--
(liza) david.
So she'll have french roast, low-fat milk,
(liza) david.
Toasted scooped bagel and a side of sliced cucumbers.
(liza) david.
I forgot.
(liza) david.
Hm, just the coffee, please.
(liza) david.
Yeah?
(liza) david.
All right, what's the emergency, david?
(liza) david.
Oh, okay, so, um...
(liza) david.
I just have to ask you a favor.
(liza) david.
It's not gonna cost you a dime.
(liza) david.
What kind of favor?
(liza) david.
I just want to sign over the title of the liza to you.
(liza) david.
What? Why?
(liza) david.
Just so we can keep it safe.
(liza) david.
Did you gamble away the boat?
(liza) david.
Lo-- [sighs]
(liza) david.
A guy who hasn't fumbled in his entire career
(liza) david.
Fumbles twice in one game.
(liza) david.
How is that even possible?
(liza) david.
David, what did i say when i moved out?
(liza) david.
I'm not asking for money.
(liza) david.
It's just--it-- just some paperwork.
(liza) david.
Why don't you ask your girlfriend?
(liza) david.
She's proving to be less than sympathetic.
(liza) david.
Does she not know about this?
(liza) david.
Liza, i hate asking you this.
(liza) david.
I know how difficult i've made things for you.
(liza) david.
It's just, this boat means a lot to me.
(liza) david.
It's the last thing that i have...
(liza) david.
From us.
(liza) david.
Just--just think about it.
(liza) david.
Okay. I'll think about it.
(liza) david.
Oh, yeah. I got this.
(liza) david.
I got it.
(liza) david.
Thank you.
(liza) david.
Yeah.
(liza) david.
Actually, do you have a single?
(liza) i can't believe we're practically divorced,
And he's still pulling this crap.
(liza) i can't believe we're practically divorced,
Then i see him, and it's like this old feeling kicks in,
(liza) i can't believe we're practically divorced,
Like i want to take care of him.
(liza) i can't believe we're practically divorced,
Well, i, for one, say take the boat, sell it,
(liza) i can't believe we're practically divorced,
And keep the money.
(liza) i can't believe we're practically divorced,
Maggie, that boat is practically worthless.
(liza) i can't believe we're practically divorced,
Half my memories are of the two of us
(liza) i can't believe we're practically divorced,
Bailing the damn thing out.
(liza) i can't believe we're practically divorced,
Well, then, why does david want it?
(liza) i can't believe we're practically divorced,
I don't know.
(liza) i can't believe we're practically divorced,
It's like that boat is that one connection he has
(liza) i can't believe we're practically divorced,
With the man he used to be
(liza) i can't believe we're practically divorced,
And i think would like to be again.
(liza) i can't believe we're practically divorced,
[phone buzzing]
(liza) i can't believe we're practically divorced,
Annabelle says she's gonna slit her wrists
(liza) i can't believe we're practically divorced,
If there's any fluorescent lighting at the party,
(liza) i can't believe we're practically divorced,
And she wants to approve all the waiters' head shots.
(liza) i can't believe we're practically divorced,
What a demanding bitch.
(liza) i can't believe we're practically divorced,
Can't wait to see my gift bag.
(liza) i can't believe we're practically divorced,
Uh. Ow.
(liza) i can't believe we're practically divorced,
Are you okay?
(liza) i can't believe we're practically divorced,
Uh, yeah.
(liza) i can't believe we're practically divorced,
I may have ruptured my groin.
(liza) i can't believe we're practically divorced,
It's a small price.
(liza) i can't believe we're practically divorced,
See you later. Okay. Yeah.
(liza) i can't believe we're practically divorced,
No, no, i don't need a peahen. I need a peacock.
Cock!
No, no, i don't need a peahen. I need a peacock.
I need at least three of the biggest,
No, no, i don't need a peahen. I need a peacock.
Most beautiful cocks you have.
No, no, i don't need a peahen. I need a peacock.
(diana) liza.
No, no, i don't need a peahen. I need a peacock.
Come in my office.
No, no, i don't need a peahen. I need a peacock.
I'm gonna have to call you back, sir.
No, no, i don't need a peahen. I need a peacock.
Liza, i hope you realize the opportunity i'm giving you.
- I do, diana. - Good.
Liza, i hope you realize the opportunity i'm giving you.
Because my assistants don't stay assistants very long.
Liza, i hope you realize the opportunity i'm giving you.
They move up, or they move out.
Liza, i hope you realize the opportunity i'm giving you.
I'm going to be following this party very carefully...
Liza, i hope you realize the opportunity i'm giving you.
On twitter.
Liza, i hope you realize the opportunity i'm giving you.
What--you're not gonna be there?
Liza, i hope you realize the opportunity i'm giving you.
I have known annabelle
Liza, i hope you realize the opportunity i'm giving you.
Since she was writing sex tips for cosmopolitan
Liza, i hope you realize the opportunity i'm giving you.
Back when i was your age.
Liza, i hope you realize the opportunity i'm giving you.
- Seriously? - Mm.
Liza, i hope you realize the opportunity i'm giving you.
She used to be my closest friend.
Liza, i hope you realize the opportunity i'm giving you.
We were wild.
Liza, i hope you realize the opportunity i'm giving you.
She was always trying to get us to have a three-way
Liza, i hope you realize the opportunity i'm giving you.
With jay mcinerney.
Liza, i hope you realize the opportunity i'm giving you.
What happened?
Liza, i hope you realize the opportunity i'm giving you.
Well, i got serious about my career,
Liza, i hope you realize the opportunity i'm giving you.
But for annabelle, the party never stopped.
Liza, i hope you realize the opportunity i'm giving you.
I've tried to get her into rehab.
Liza, i hope you realize the opportunity i'm giving you.
There is only so much you can do for people who need help,
Liza, i hope you realize the opportunity i'm giving you.
But won't get it.
Liza, i hope you realize the opportunity i'm giving you.
Well, sometimes people need a second chance.
Liza, i hope you realize the opportunity i'm giving you.
I don't carry deadweight well
Liza, i hope you realize the opportunity i'm giving you.
In my personal life
Liza, i hope you realize the opportunity i'm giving you.
Or in my office.
Liza, i hope you realize the opportunity i'm giving you.
Good luck tonight.
Liza, i hope you realize the opportunity i'm giving you.
(man) ¶ hey, hey, hey ¶
¶ hey, hey, chicka-choo-cha ¶
(man) ¶ hey, hey, hey ¶
(woman) ¶ ah ¶
(man) ¶ hey, hey, hey ¶
¶ ah ¶
(man) ¶ hey, hey, hey ¶
¶ ah ¶
(man) ¶ hey, hey, hey ¶
¶ ah ¶
(man) ¶ hey, hey, hey ¶
Laurent, i'm so sorry.
(man) ¶ hey, hey, hey ¶
I don't see your name on the list.
(man) ¶ hey, hey, hey ¶
What's the last name?
(man) ¶ hey, hey, hey ¶
It's just laurent.
(man) ¶ hey, hey, hey ¶
Never mind... [speaks french]
(man) ¶ hey, hey, hey ¶
Hey.
(man) ¶ hey, hey, hey ¶
Oh, my gosh. You look amazing.
(man) ¶ hey, hey, hey ¶
Thanks. You too. How's it going?
(man) ¶ hey, hey, hey ¶
Oh, so far, so good.
(man) ¶ hey, hey, hey ¶
I just wish people were tweeting more.
(man) ¶ hey, hey, hey ¶
I really need you to post something cool,
(man) ¶ hey, hey, hey ¶
Like, every five minutes.
(man) ¶ hey, hey, hey ¶
Okay, but can i send it as,
(man) ¶ hey, hey, hey ¶
Like, an email attachment instead?
(man) ¶ hey, hey, hey ¶
No.
(man) ¶ hey, hey, hey ¶
Uh, just go find a hot girl with a twitter account.
(man) ¶ hey, hey, hey ¶
All right, well, then, she made a list.
(man) ¶ hey, hey, hey ¶
Wait a second. Courtney austin is here?
(man) ¶ hey, hey, hey ¶
Yeah, she's, like, the martha stewart of beauty blogs.
(man) ¶ hey, hey, hey ¶
Oh, yeah, i've had a thing for that woman for years.
(man) ¶ hey, hey, hey ¶
I mean, like, seriously,
(man) ¶ hey, hey, hey ¶
Vivid dreams-- absolutely filthy.
(man) ¶ hey, hey, hey ¶
And i hear she's finally single.
(man) ¶ hey, hey, hey ¶
- Excuse me. - Okay.
(man) ¶ hey, hey, hey ¶
- Lauren, hey. - Hey.
(man) ¶ hey, hey, hey ¶
You told me to bring people. I brought my whole list.
(man) ¶ hey, hey, hey ¶
So you don't have to worry about your list.
(man) ¶ hey, hey, hey ¶
Trust me. My list is much better.
(man) ¶ hey, hey, hey ¶
Oh, my god. You got peacocks.
(man) ¶ hey, hey, hey ¶
That is so awesome.
(man) ¶ hey, hey, hey ¶
Yeah, and make sure to tweet about it
(man) ¶ hey, hey, hey ¶
And tag your friends,
(man) ¶ hey, hey, hey ¶
Hashtag #she-donism, hashtag #slutpact.
(man) ¶ hey, hey, hey ¶
Relax. They'll tweet.
(man) ¶ hey, hey, hey ¶
- Liza. - Annabelle.
(man) ¶ hey, hey, hey ¶
Are you having fun? Katie holmes is here.
(man) ¶ hey, hey, hey ¶
I just got the most disturbing text.
(man) ¶ hey, hey, hey ¶
Somebody turned away my coke dealer at the door.
(man) ¶ hey, hey, hey ¶
(josh) hey, party girl.
(man) ¶ hey, hey, hey ¶
Josh! Hi.
(man) ¶ hey, hey, hey ¶
Uh, annabelle, this is josh.
(man) ¶ hey, hey, hey ¶
Annabelle, nice to meet you.
(man) ¶ hey, hey, hey ¶
Okay, he is very hot.
(man) ¶ hey, hey, hey ¶
And it's my party,
(man) ¶ hey, hey, hey ¶
So every hot man here is my property for the night.
(man) ¶ hey, hey, hey ¶
Come on, josh.
(man) ¶ hey, hey, hey ¶
Let's get those tats a drink.
(man) ¶ hey, hey, hey ¶
Oh, is that a dolphin?
(man) ¶ hey, hey, hey ¶
And where is that naughty little dolphin diving to?
(man) ¶ hey, hey, hey ¶
Hello, flipper.
[upbeat dance music]
Hey, courtney. Hi.
[upbeat dance music]
- Maggie. - I heard you were here.
[upbeat dance music]
What a surprise.
[upbeat dance music]
Wow, you look beautiful.
[upbeat dance music]
Thank you.
[upbeat dance music]
I'm so sorry about you and susie.
[upbeat dance music]
You guys were together for so long.
[upbeat dance music]
Five years.
[upbeat dance music]
But it's all for the better, really.
[upbeat dance music]
We wanted different things.
[upbeat dance music]
Mm.
[upbeat dance music]
So does this mean i can finally ask you out on a date?
[upbeat dance music]
Maggie, i would love that.
[upbeat dance music]
But, first, i really need to find a bathroom.
[upbeat dance music]
Oh, wow. You're pregnant.
[upbeat dance music]
Oh, i thought you knew--
[upbeat dance music]
With twins!
[upbeat dance music]
Oh.
[upbeat dance music]
Don't move.
[upbeat dance music]
(woman) ¶ i want you ¶
[upbeat dance music]
¶ i want to be with you ¶
[upbeat dance music]
So will i have a book party like this?
Mm.
So will i have a book party like this?
Would you like a book party like this?
So will i have a book party like this?
Absolutely not.
So will i have a book party like this?
[laughter]
So will i have a book party like this?
You look beautiful tonight.
Anton, i hope that you didn't sign with me
You look beautiful tonight.
For the wrong reasons.
You look beautiful tonight.
Do you really believe that i would put my book
You look beautiful tonight.
In the hands of anyone other than an extraordinary editor?
You look beautiful tonight.
I would hope not.
You look beautiful tonight.
But you cannot deny that there is an attraction.
You look beautiful tonight.
No.
You look beautiful tonight.
I just...
You look beautiful tonight.
Don't want us becoming confused about what's really important.
You look beautiful tonight.
I believe it was fitzgerald who said that,
You look beautiful tonight.
"the test of a first-rate intelligence
You look beautiful tonight.
"is the ability to hold two opposed ideas
You look beautiful tonight.
In mind at the same time."
You look beautiful tonight.
I think it's highly possible
You look beautiful tonight.
That f. Scott fitzgerald was drunk
You look beautiful tonight.
When he said that.
You look beautiful tonight.
[chuckles]
You look beautiful tonight.
[glass clinking]
You look beautiful tonight.
I wanted to say from the bottom of my heart,
Thank you, all, so much for coming tonight.
I wanted to say from the bottom of my heart,
She-donism is more than a book.
I wanted to say from the bottom of my heart,
It's a bible.
I wanted to say from the bottom of my heart,
There's only one commandment:
I wanted to say from the bottom of my heart,
Close your hearts,
I wanted to say from the bottom of my heart,
And open your legs for everything
I wanted to say from the bottom of my heart,
Life has to offer!
I wanted to say from the bottom of my heart,
Ha ha, annabelle.
I wanted to say from the bottom of my heart,
Oh, your unique sense of humor is what is sure
I wanted to say from the bottom of my heart,
To make she-donism
I wanted to say from the bottom of my heart,
Your next best seller.
I wanted to say from the bottom of my heart,
Oh, my god. I see my dealer.
I wanted to say from the bottom of my heart,
Laurent!
I wanted to say from the bottom of my heart,
[all gasping]
Oh, my god.
[all gasping]
Oh, my god.
[all gasping]
Are you okay?
[all gasping]
Yeah, i'm good.
[all gasping]
Okay, hi, laurent--
[all gasping]
All right, okay, yeah. It's still glass.
[all gasping]
Go around. It's okay.
[all gasping]
It's okay.
[all gasping]
Don't tweet that.
[all gasping]
What?
[all gasping]
(woman) ¶ i want to get the party started ¶
[all gasping]
¶ let me see you shake it, shake it ¶
[all gasping]
Maggie, have you seen annabelle?
No, but i did find courtney.
Maggie, have you seen annabelle?
She's nine months pregnant.
Maggie, have you seen annabelle?
She wants me to take her home
Maggie, have you seen annabelle?
So we can bang each other's brains out.
Maggie, have you seen annabelle?
Apparently, double the hormones,
Maggie, have you seen annabelle?
Double the horny.
Maggie, have you seen annabelle?
Wow. Good for her.
Maggie, have you seen annabelle?
All i cared about in my last trimester
Maggie, have you seen annabelle?
Was fried chicken and my doughnut pillow.
Maggie, have you seen annabelle?
Listen, can you stay at josh's tonight?
Maggie, have you seen annabelle?
Sure. Are you gonna go for it?
Maggie, have you seen annabelle?
Why not? You know, sometimes life gives you what you ask for.
Maggie, have you seen annabelle?
But just--it's just not the way you pictured it.
Maggie, have you seen annabelle?
Besides, her tits are huge now.
Maggie, have you seen annabelle?
Oh, all right.
Maggie, have you seen annabelle?
Did you see this?
Maggie, have you seen annabelle?
(lauren) annabelle is a vine.
Maggie, have you seen annabelle?
[all gasp]
Maggie, have you seen annabelle?
[all gasp]
Maggie, have you seen annabelle?
[gasps] oh, my god.
Maggie, have you seen annabelle?
- How do we take that down? - Take it down?
Maggie, have you seen annabelle?
You can't buy this kind of publicity.
Maggie, have you seen annabelle?
Believe me. I have tried.
Maggie, have you seen annabelle?
Oh, mop and bucket-- i got to go.
Maggie, have you seen annabelle?
That's got annabelle written all over it.
Maggie, have you seen annabelle?
Stay.
Maggie, have you seen annabelle?
Okay.
Maggie, have you seen annabelle?
Oh, god. Oh, god.
Oh...
Oh, god. Oh, god.
Diana?
Oh, god. Oh, god.
I saw everything on twitter. This party is a disaster.
Oh, god. Oh, god.
(liza) no, no, it's not a disaster.
Oh, god. Oh, god.
We have thousands of retweets, and we're a vine--
Oh, god. Oh, god.
A trending vine.
Oh, god. Oh, god.
You're welcome.
Oh, god. Oh, god.
(diana) let's just get her out of here before she kills herself.
Oh, god. Oh, god.
(annabelle) is that diana? Dirty diana.
Oh, god. Oh, god.
[shushes]
Oh, god. Oh, god.
Oh, let's go to club shelter and dance in a cage.
Oh, god. Oh, god.
Shut up. I'm taking you home.
Oh, god. Oh, god.
You used to be fun.
Oh, god. Oh, god.
I still love you, grandma.
Oh, god. Oh, god.
Oh, okay, let's get her out the back door quietly.
Oh, god. Oh, god.
You're a really good friend.
Oh, god. Oh, god.
No, a good friend would stop bailing her out
Oh, god. Oh, god.
And let her hit rock bottom.
Oh, god. Oh, god.
This is professional. She is my author.
Oh, god. Oh, god.
Now let's get her out of here
Oh, god. Oh, god.
While she still has her underwear on.
Oh, god. Oh, god.
Hoist. [grunts] oh, god.
Oh, god. Oh, god.
I still have my underwear on?
Oh, god. Oh, god.
This was a terrible party.
Oh, god. Oh, god.
Liza, why did so many amish move to williamsburg?
Oh, god. Oh, god.
They're not amish. They're hasidic.
Oh, god. Oh, god.
But they're all wearing prada.
Oh, god. Oh, god.
How do they afford it?
Oh, god. Oh, god.
What do they all do for a living?
Oh, god. Oh, god.
They're not wearing prada. That's just how they dress.
Oh, god. Oh, god.
Get her in the car
Oh, god. Oh, god.
Before she chokes on her hair extensions.
Oh, god. Oh, god.
(annabelle) i ordered a white town car with beige interior.
Oh, god. Oh, god.
All right, let's get you buckled up for safety.
Oh, god. Oh, god.
Be careful with your hands, sweetie.
Oh, god. Oh, god.
They're a dead giveaway.
Oh, god. Oh, god.
This is your purse.
When you throw up, you throw up straight into it.
This is your purse.
- Understand? - Understand what?
This is your purse.
Miss winehouse left her shoes--
Oh, that's all right.
Miss winehouse left her shoes--
I'll bring them to her doorman later.
Miss winehouse left her shoes--
- Okay. - Okay.
Miss winehouse left her shoes--
(annabelle) club shelter, please.
Miss winehouse left her shoes--
- No. - Whoo!
Miss winehouse left her shoes--
(woman) ¶ oh ¶
[grunts]
Huh.
[grunts]
I haven't been off my feet for the last 17 hours.
[grunts]
It was fun visiting you at work, though.
[grunts]
You are such a good sport.
[grunts]
It was very entertaining.
[grunts]
[groans] make it stop.
[grunts]
I can't see it.
[grunts]
It's awful.
[grunts]
You know, i figured out what her problem is.
[grunts]
What's that?
[grunts]
That she won't act her age.
[grunts]
I mean, she's clearly in her 40s.
[grunts]
She acts like she's in her 20s.
[grunts]
I mean, why would people do that?
[grunts]
I think some women feel a little...
[grunts]
I don't know-- lost
[grunts]
When they turn 40.
[grunts]
You know, there's a lot of pressure to be young.
[grunts]
[chuckles]
[grunts]
I wonder what we're gonna be like in our 40s.
[grunts]
I think i'm gonna be a lot like i am now.
[grunts]
Me too.
[grunts]
Ow. Crossfit.
[grunts]
The more you do it, the less it hurts.
[grunts]
Sure.
[grunts]
[chuckles]
Did you see?
Finally fixed the bimini top.
Did you see?
I can't take the title, david.
Did you see?
Sure you can.
Did you see?
And you can use the boat whenever you want.
Did you see?
They still do fireworks out here on the fourth.
Did you see?
No, i can't keep bailing you out.
Did you see?
It isn't helping you.
Did you see?
If i'd stopped a long time ago,
Did you see?
Maybe things wouldn't have gotten this bad.
Did you see?
Things aren't that bad.
Did you see?
I just hit a rough spot. That's all.
Did you see?
I'm gonna turn it around. You'll see.
Did you see?
I'm not gonna take the boat, david.
Did you see?
But i'll lose her.
Did you see?
I know.
Did you see?
Wow.
Did you see?
It's like you turned into this completely different person.
Did you see?
[chuckles]
Did you see?
Maybe i have.
Did you see?
Good luck, david.
Did you see?
- Hey. - Hey.
Did you get the tablet art for the happy vegan cookbook?
- Hey. - Hey.
Uh, yeah, i'll forward it to you.
- Hey. - Hey.
Thanks.
- Hey. - Hey.
So are we just not gonna talk about bjornberg?
- Hey. - Hey.
I saw you guys last night at the party.
- Hey. - Hey.
Oh.
- Hey. - Hey.
And diana almost saw you too.
- Hey. - Hey.
Yikes. All right.
- Hey. - Hey.
I will be more discreet.
- Hey. - Hey.
I don't think it's discretion
- Hey. - Hey.
That's the issue.
- Hey. - Hey.
I don't think i need a lecture right now.
- Hey. - Hey.
Kelsey, i'm only saying this because i care about you.
- Hey. - Hey.
And you're too smart to be known
- Hey. - Hey.
As the editor who sleeps with her author.
- Hey. - Hey.
Okay, liza, i know that you care.
- Hey. - Hey.
But i know what i'm doing.
- Hey. - Hey.
And you're not my mother.
- Hey. - Hey.
You know what, you're right.
- Hey. - Hey.
I'm sorry.
- Hey. - Hey.
I am so totally not your mother.
- Hey. - Hey.
(man) ¶ ooh, ooh ¶
¶ ooh, ooh ¶
(man) ¶ ooh, ooh ¶
Caitlin, hey.
(man) ¶ ooh, ooh ¶
I can't believe it's been a week since i last talked to you.
(man) ¶ ooh, ooh ¶
I heard dad had to get rid of the boat.
(man) ¶ ooh, ooh ¶
Uh, yeah, i heard about that.
(man) ¶ ooh, ooh ¶
Sucks. First the house, now the boat.
(man) ¶ ooh, ooh ¶
It's like everything's going away.
(man) ¶ ooh, ooh ¶
Well, i'm not going away
(man) ¶ ooh, ooh ¶
Ever.
(man) ¶ ooh, ooh ¶
You hear me?
(man) ¶ ooh, ooh ¶
Yeah.
(man) ¶ ooh, ooh ¶
All right, so tell me what's going on with you.
(man) ¶ ooh, ooh ¶
You said you got invited to a hindu wedding?
(man) ¶ ooh, ooh ¶
Yeah, do you want the short version
(man) ¶ ooh, ooh ¶
Or the long version?
(man) ¶ ooh, ooh ¶
The long version.
(man) ¶ ooh, ooh ¶
And start from the beginning.
(man) ¶ ooh, ooh ¶
(caitlin) mom, it was so beautiful and over-the-top.
(man) ¶ ooh, ooh ¶
The whole village was there-- like, 500 people.
(man) ¶ ooh, ooh ¶