Young & Hungry (2014–…): Season 3, Episode 2 - Young & Coachella - full transcript

The Coachella music festival proves to be the perfect crowd for Gabi's munchies, though the food truck isn't the only success. With Gabi on cloud nine, Sofia looks for new company for her misery. Meanwhile, Elliot and Alan try to salvage their honeymoon.


on Young and Hungry...

Will you be my fake wife?

-Fake? Yeah, I will.

Which one of you is the couple?

We are!

You're a thrupple?

You know what's so great
about you, Adam?

Everything is so easy.

No drama.


-I want you.


Last available room.

Oh, my God,
look at your face.

You're so excited!

Oh, my God,
this room looks just like

the other room
I was staying in.

Where nothing happened.

But now, I'm in
a different room

where something
probably could happen

and probably will
because that's how life works

with two normal, healthy,
sexually active individuals

staying in a room together.


Okay, how about this?

Let's just...
let's just both breathe.

(both inhale)

(both exhale)

Gabi, look, I get it.

Okay? I put you through hell.

You have every right
to be acting, you know,

how you're acting.


Yeah, I got a lot
going on up here

that I gotta process.

So, uh, is it okay
if we just kinda--

-Take it slow?

Sounds good to me.

Hey, how about a drink?

I need that very much.

Oh, this was
so sweet of you.

Yeah, well,
I'm a sweet guy.

-(neighbor's door opens)



I can't believe
you surprised me

by getting us this room.

Um, I-- I didn't ask for this.

You just did this for me,

which is so sweet,
and I had no say whatsoever.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry!

Sorry for what?

Sorry for, um...

Oh! For that!

Oh, shoot.

Can you go get us
some more ice, please?

Wow, you really got
a lot going on in there.


Okay, this is a nightmare.

You think?

How are we gonna stay
right next to each other

when we got this going on?

No, no, no,
there was no this

because this is not a this.

But we just had
an amazing kiss

-five minutes ago.

You thought it was amazing?

I did. What did
you think it was?

I thought it was...

a vacation kiss.

Right? We were just
caught up in the sun

and the sand,
and all the allure

of Flip Flops for Lovers.

Maybe you're right.

Maybe it was just
a vacation kiss.

Didn't mean anything.
Absolutely nothing.

Okay, well,
that's a little rude.

All I'm saying is that

if it didn't mean anything,
we have no problem.

We can both stay here.

Oh, my God.

You're right.
We can both stay here.

You know what?
It doesn't have to be weird.

Okay, it's weird.
It's weird!

I gotta get out of Hawaii!

(theme music playing)

? She in the spotlight
and she turned my head ?

? She run a red light
'cause she bad like that ?

? I like that ooh, baby,
ooh, baby ?

? Baby ?

? I like that ooh, baby
ooh baby ?

Sofia: Hey, Gabi! What's up?

Sofia, I need you.

-And I need you.

Can you spray the pan

after the eggs are
already cooking?


Oh, dammit.

Listen, we have bigger
eggs to fry, okay?

I gotta get out
of Hawaii,

so you have to pretend
to have an emergency.

What? Oh, crap!

I put sugar in the eggs
instead of salt.

Oh, my God,
that's horrible!

Eh, it's not so bad.
I can probably scrape it off.

No, no, that is bad!
That is very bad!

You should go
to the emergency room!

-Is everything okay?
-(whispers) No!

You do not have to
suffer alone, okay?

I am on the next flight out.

-We gotta go?

Yes, we do.
You know Sofia.

Her life is just
a constant mess!

Why are you leaving?

It's called Flip Flops
for Lovers, not Leavers.

Wish we could
stay, Danny,

but the craziest thing.

Gabi's best friend
got bit by a snake,
so we gotta get home.

Yeah. Yeah, she's
in the hospital,

but by the time we get there,
she'll probably be at home

acting like nothing happened,

but it did happen.

It did. Goodbye, Danny!

Hi, Danny.

I can't believe
they sent us back
from the airport

because of some
stupid tropical storm.

Yeah, poor us,
stuck in Hawaii.

I don't understand
why we couldn't stay

at that other
really nice hotel.

The Airport Motor Lodge?

Free HBO.


Oh, I just remembered!

Sofia! I hope she's okay!

Why? What happened to her?

Oh, right, her spider bite.

Thought you said
it was a snake bite.

It was a spider
riding on a snake's back.

It was scary, Josh.
It was very scary.

Um, actually,
you know what?

I'm gonna go
call her right now.


(door closes)

I thought you left!

Yeah, I-- I did,
but I'm back now

because apparently there's
some sort of weird storm coming

and all the planes
are grounded.

So, what are we
supposed to do now?

It's simple.

You want to be with Amanda
and I want to be with Josh,

so in order to
make that happen,

we just have to
stay away from each other

for the rest
of the trip.



Goodbye forever, Gabi.

Goodbye forever, Adam.

(thunder crashing)

Hey, Gabi, come out here.


You come in here.

I'm serious.
Come out here.

You gotta see
how big these waves are.

Oh, wow.

Look at that.
So moody and mystical.

Ooh, like The Hobbit!

Let's go inside
and watch it!

Watch a movie?

We're in Hawaii.

What do you mean,
play Scrabble?

We're in Hawaii!


Hey, Amanda, Adam.

Uh, Josh, this is

Adam from Instagram.

Uh, Instagram, this is
Josh from Adam.

Hey, Josh.

-Heard a lot about ya.
-I saw a lot about you.

Someone packed
a selfie stick.

Yes, and, uh,
this is Amanda,

the girl who punched my face.

I'm so sorry about that.

Adam explained everything.

It's what I do,
explain complicated things.

And now I know
I shouldn't have punched you.

I mean, if anything,
I should be thanking you.

If you and Adam hadn't
posted those pictures

to make be jealous,
then we never would have

gotten back together.

Amanda's right.

I mean, the pictures
did the same for us.


I just had
a brilliant idea.

Why don't we have dinner
together tonight?


-Yeah, 'cause the thing!

The thing is that actually,
uh, I-- I would like to,

-but, um, Josh--
-Would love to.

-Yes, and "love"
trumps "like,"

so I guess
we're having dinner.

-Yeah, we are!
-Guys, this is great.

We're all finally with
the person we're meant
to be with.

How about a group hug? Huh?

Resort style!
All inclusive!
Get over here!

Oh, okay.



Please! I said
I was sorry!

Don't talk to me.

Why, if it isn't
our favorite thrupple.

Hope you're all
having a lovely day.

We are not.

Oh, no.
Thrupple trouble?

The three of us were
swimming in the ocean.

You know,
as thrupples
tend to do.

We swam too far.

We were being swallowed
by the angry sea.

So naturally,
I reached out

to the love of my life
for help,

but he was already
halfway to shore.

-I was just trying to--
-Save yourself

with no regard for the man
you supposedly love?

I would've been a goner
if it wasn't for Yolanda.

And my two floaties.


Elliot, I'm sorry.

I barely escaped
with my life.

Well, you're barely
going to escape

this vacation
with a husband.

She came back for me!

And you didn't!

Do you know
what this means?

I have to be nice
to her now,

and she's wearing
a bathing suit!

So far, this is going great.

They have no clue
anything happened between us.


You know what'll
give 'em a clue?

Talking like this.

What are you guys
talking about?

Um, nothing.
We were just wondering

what's taking so long
with our table.

I mean, we made
a reservation for 7:00

and it's already
not even close to 7:00.

Well, um, since
we have a little time,

and I have had
a few drinks,

there's something
I've been wanting to do.

-What's happening?

I think she might be proposing.

Leaving you at the altar was
the biggest mistake I ever made,

and I've made
a lot of them.

But I never make
the same mistake twice.

Yup, she is
definitely proposing.

You're the sweetest man
I have ever known

and I never want to spend
another night without you.

Adam Foley,

will you marry me?



Whoa, I did not
see this coming.

I did.
I called it.

Say something, Adam.

I've never been
on my knees this long
with clothes on.



ever since you left,
I-- I prayed you'd come back

-and say this...

but I...

I can't marry you.

Not when I'm this confused.

Confused about what?

Oh, my God,
look at those storm clouds!

-Let's go there now!

I may or may not
have feelings for Gabi.


-We kissed!

-We kissed!

You kissed him?

Listen, I can explain, okay?

It was just
a vacation kiss!

Oh, you little--


Why, why, why, why?

I get that you didn't want
to marry her,

but why did you have to
bring my name into it?

I had to be honest, Gabi.

Well, thanks for dragging me
into your tangled web of truth!


you don't have
any feelings for me?

Ugh! It was a vacation kiss!

What the hell is
a vacation kiss anyway?

It's an excuse
is what it is.

-Here, I got you some ice.

For your face.

You know, I knew
something was up.

Gabi was acting strange
ever since I got here.

Spiders don't ride
on the backs of snakes!

You know, Adam said

those Instagram photos
of them doing fun things

was just to
make us jealous, but...

Maybe when we were doing
all those fun things together,

we just got caught up
in the moment.

Or, alternative theory,
maybe it was fate.

Us being on
that plane together,

Josh kissing that doctor,

you trying to leave and then
being forced to come back

because of the hurricane.

Oh, you know what drink
we should order next?


See, Gabi?

We have something special.

Maybe we were meant
to be together.

No, I'm meant
to be with Josh.

I thought I was meant
to be with Gabi.

I thought I was meant
to be with Adam.


Why'd you ditch him
at the altar?

Why'd you kiss your therapist?

Yeah, Adam told me.

Oh, my God.

You're right.

We are horrible people.

You know what I wish?

I just wish
things would go back
to the way they were,

when I liked Josh
and he liked me,

and everything was simple.


I've been an idiot.

Oh, thank God
you realized it!

Elliot, let it go.

We all made mistakes out there.

Alan didn't save you.

And I did.

Alan keeps claiming

that he thought
I was right behind him.

Trust me, he knows
when I'm behind him.

-There's the love of my life!

Elliot, please.

-We need to talk
about what happened.

did you hear something...
like the whiny voice

of someone
who left you to die?

Elliot, this is ridiculous.

Are you really gonna ignore me
the whole rest of our honeymoon?

Oh, that's real mature, Elliot.

You know, when we got married,
we promised each other

we would always communicate.


Oh, so now
we're playing charades?

I make you nauseous?

Well, let me
tell you something.

I have been so sick
since this whole thing happened,

I have not been able to eat.

-With the exception of that
smoked fish on a bagel!

Oh, my damn,
is he choking?

Oh, my God,
what's happening?

(both grunt)

(breathing heavily)
Oh, Yolanda.

You saved my life.


Thanks a lot, Yolanda.

I'm sorry.

It's my maternal instincts.

If I see a fat,
little baby choking,
I gotta help.

Finally we get to be together.

Just the two of us alone.

No interruptions, no Adam.

Just you and me in Hawaii,
the most magical--


Do you remember when I told you
I wanted you to take it slow?


(emergency chime)

Danny on P.A.:
Attention, lovers,

Tropical storm Olivia has been
upgraded to a hurricane.

-Please immediately
come down to the lobby

and pick up
an emergency kit

in case of a power outage.

Hey! Hey! You know
what I'm thinking?

I should get us a kit.

Seriously? Right now?

Gabi, I am wrestling
with two very primal urges,

and survival is winning
by a hair. I'll be right back.


(door closes)

(thunder crashing)


Gabi, it's me! Adam!


What are you doing out there?
There's a hurricane outside!

Yeah, I know.
Let me in!

No, go to your own room!

I can't!

I tried to make up with Amanda,
but she just screamed at me

and locked me out
on the terrace!


Listen, I am really sorry
about you and Amanda,

but this is
a really bad time, okay?

Josh is gonna
be back any second!

I get it, but I'm freezing!

Can I have maybe
one of those plush robes?



Okay, now go.

Go, go, go, go
go, go, go, go.

-(doorknob rattles)

Stay, stay, stay,
stay, stay, stay!

Get under the bed!
Get under the bed!

Wow, you are so fast.

That is the only time
you'll be saying that tonight.

Now where were we?

Where were we?
Yes, where were we?

Um-- Hey, hey,
wait a minute!

You only got one kit?

Yeah, it's one kit per room.

Yeah, but, uh, what if
something happens to that kit?

Don't we--
don't we need
a backup kit?

Go get a backup kit.

Gabi, you didn't even
want a kit.

Of course I did!

Who-- who doesn't love kits?

I love kits!

I have always wanted kits.

I want at least two kits.

You know what?
I'm even looking forward
to grand kits.

What's happening?

Adam's under the bed.



No, he's not.

He's not?

He's not.
Where did he go?

-I'm right here.

Wait, what--
what is going on?

-Okay, listen,
he got in a fight...
-Amanda and I had a fight...

and I saw him on the terrace...

I didn't know
where else to go, so I--


Josh, I swear
it was all innocent.

Just like your Instagram post.

-I should've known.

Oh, my God.

Why does this not surprise me?

(emergency chime)

Attention, Flip Floppers,

Hurricane Olivia has turned
into a real bitch.

She is now a category four
and all guests are to take

immediate shelter
in the basement.

Where's Elliot?

Who cares?
It's a hurricane!

I don't want it to
blow my wig off!

No! I'm not gonna
leave him, Yolanda!

There are speakers everywhere!

He heard the announcement!

No! I have failed him
too many times!

I'm not gonna
leave him now!

-Save yourself, Yolanda!

This is my moment!

-(thunder crashes)
-(both scream)

My moment!

My moment!







It's not safe out here!
Go back inside!

Don't tell me what to do!

I fi--


You know, you can be
as mad as you want,

but for your information,
I've been trying to

make us work
since you got here!

Oh, yeah, I can see that!

Well, if you would've
stayed in the room

instead of running out
all dramatic,

you would've seen that!

I saw enough, Gabi!

You know, you keep
blaming me, but I--

You're the one
who came here all,

"I'm ready!
Let's get a room!"

I mean, did you ever think
about what I wanted? Aah!

That's all I've thought about!

I thought this was
what you wanted!

Oh, I'll tell you
what I want!


Elliot, are you in here?


Oh, God!
My angel!

I'll save you.

I may not have
saved you in the ocean

or with that pineapple,

but I'll be damned
if I lose you to a palm tree!

I love you!

I love you too!


I was checking
all the rooms for guests,

then suddenly
I came out here

and these fronds
came down on me!

I thought I was dead.

You saved my life!

(chuckles awkwardly)


I never noticed it before,

but you and Elliot
are like twins.

Wait, where's Elliot?
Where's my husband?

You know, if they
can't find his body

and you need
a shoulder to cry on...

Back off, bitch!


You're okay!

I was in the bathroom
when I heard the announcement,

so I panicked
and hid in the tub!

I can't believe
you came up here
to save me.

Of course I did!

I would do anything
in the world for you

except, you know,
ocean stuff.

My hero.

Twins? Really?

I think we should try
to make it back inside!

No! We should stay out here
and wait the storm out!

No, I think we can make it!



We can't make it!

-All right!
-Might as well just
keep fighting here!

(both grunt)


Much! Thank you!

Josh, you wanna know
why I kissed Adam?

Don't wanna know!

Because we were having fun!

You know, we weren't
breaking each other's hearts!

I wasn't getting on planes
and seeing him with other women!

I wasn't screaming at him
in the middle of a hurricane!

It was simple!
It was fun!

Which is the exact
opposite of us!

Oh, come on, Gabi!
We have tons of fun!


Uh, how about
that time we, uh...

That time we sang
the Tegan and Sara
song together!

You mean the first day we met
two years ago?

Yeah, and then we slept together

and you proposed to
a different girl the next day!

Fun, Josh! Real fun!

-What are you saying?

I'm saying this isn't fun!

-This is a nightmare!
-Oh, come on, Gabi!


All right, fine!

This is a nightmare!

See? Whenever we're together,
all hell breaks loose!

Well, then maybe
we shouldn't be together!

(birds chirping)

Are we dead?

Yeah, I think we are.

Why does everybody think
Hawaii is so great?

So you and Josh
aren't in a relationship,

you're no longer friends,
and you don't have a job?

And we haven't had sex

in two years.

Gabi, why is that funny,
like, at all?

Because you know
how this works, Sofia.

Every time Josh
and I get in a big fight

and I quit
or he fires me,

one of us always
comes crawling back.

So, I'm laughing
because I know he's gonna

knock on that door
any second now.


Any second.

-Okay, Sofia.

Pour another cup.

Josh is gonna be
coming over any minute.

Hey, get another glass
for Josh, Sofia, because, uh...


He's not coming, is he?


No, he's not.