Young Sheldon (2017–…): Season 6, Episode 1 - Four Hundred Cartons of Undeclared Cigarettes and a Niblingo - full transcript

George Sr. bails Meemaw and Georgie out of jail. Also, Sheldon and Missy meet Mandy, and Mary feels unwelcome at church.

Previously on Young Sheldon... Can we talk?

I'm pregnant.

You've got a lot

going on right now.

Maybe take some time off,

focus on things at home.

Hold on.

Are you firing her?

Hey, George.

What's up?

Georgie and I ran
into a little...

problem at the border.

What border?

The Mexican one.

We got arrested.


Who is it?


What do you mean, arrested?

I don't know.
Some problem with Customs.

What were they doing
in Mexico? I don't know.

Why didn't they tell
us they were going?

How many times
I got to say I don't know?

All right, what do you know?

Well, they're probably gonna
have to pay some fine,

and-and they're gonna need cash.

My son is gonna be
in jail overnight?

What about your mother?

Oh, she's been there before.

Meemaw's in jail? Uh...

No.Forget about it.

Forget about it? Do I need to
remind you I remember my birth?

Go to your room.

That was a rough day.

Rough day for me.

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Wait here.

You see what I see?


An open window.

You want to make a run for it?

You got a better plan?


You shutting up.

Son of a bitch.

New shirt.

You give me some seltzer,
I can get that

right out.Shh.

Sorry. So,

smuggling cigarettes.

Your Honor, there
was no smuggling.

This is a... misunderstanding.

400 cartons
of undeclared cigarettes?

Is that over the limit?

By 399.

I told you not to talk.

And he told you not to talk.

All right.

Here's your options:

Plead not guilty, post a bond,

come back here for a trial,

which you will lose,

because you're guilty.

Or? Plead guilty,

pay a fine

and I never see your face again.

But we get the
cigarettes back, right?


How much is the fine?

Why don't we say $2,500?

Let's say $500.

This is not a negotiation.

I hear ya.


We're done.

Leon, get these clowns
out of here.

Your Honor, please,

I really need
those cigarettes back.

My girlfriend's
gonna have my baby

and I was gonna sell 'em to help
pay for the medical expenses.

That's a touching story.



Too much Mountain Dew.

Take 'em back to holding.

How 'bout $1,000 and you
can keep my grandson?

What is happening to our family?

I know. Georgie
and Meemaw in jail.

Mom getting kicked out
of the church.

Georgie having a baby
out of wedlock.

You know what this
means, don't you?


We really are white trash.

Speak for yourself.

I'm in college on a full ride.

But I wish y'all luck.

I really appreciate this, Dale.

Smuggling cigarettes?

What the hell was she thinking?

It was Georgie's idea.

Well, that makes more sense.


whose truck we taking?

You're coming?

My ex-girlfriend in jail
at the Mexican border?

I got to take pictures.

All right, I'll drive.

But we got to stop and get film.

Who you spying on?

Meemaw's house.
There's a strange woman

loitering on her porch.

Let me see.

Should we call the police?

Nah, she's too pretty

to be a burglar.

I don't think that's
how that works.

Connie? Are you okay?

All right, I'm coming in.

Freeze, dirt bag.

Who are you?

No, no, we have

the moral high ground here.

Yeah. Who are you?

I'm a friend of the lady
that lives here.

I'm worried about her.

That's no lady.
That's our meemaw.

Are you Georgie's
brother and sister?


I'm Mandy.

I'm Georgie's...

I'm Mandy.

Oh, really?

Yeah, really.

And I'm worried
about your meemaw.

Well, you don't have to be.
She's fine.

She is?

Yes, Sheldon, she is.

So she's not in jail?

She's in jail?

Well, I thought so,
but maybe not.

So why is Connie in jail?

That's family business.

Although Mandy is
carrying Georgie's baby

and Georgie's
also in jail, so...

Georgie's in jail?!

Why are you still talking?

That is a valid question.

It's past my bedtime.

Good. Go.

Nice meeting you!

So, what happened?

All I know is they had
a problem at the border.

Something about
smuggling cigarettes.

What an idiot.Hey.

He was just trying to make money
'cause you got pregnant.

Oh, so this is my fault?

He didn't make that baby
on his own.

Look, you're just a kid, okay?

You don't understand
what's going on here.

I know my mom lost her job
and got kicked out of the church

because you won't marry
my brother.

I didn't know that.

So did I win this argument?

Feels like I did.

Okay, God,

we need to talk.

Are you testing me?

Is this a test?

Am I Mrs. Job?

I try to be a good person,

lately, it feels like
you are smacking me down

every chance you get.

And I know that that might sound
a little ungrateful right now,

as I load my new dishwasher...

That I love...

But can't you pick on
someone else for a while?

Who are you talking to?

God. To yourself. Got it.

And you think, like Job,
God is testing your faith?

Sure would explain

all the bad things that
have been happening.

So believing in a god
who's going out of his way

to ruin your life
is more comforting

than believing
there's no God at all?

Isn't it past your bedtime?

I know. Good night.W-Wait.

Where's your sister?

At Meemaw's, talking to Mandy.

What? Why?

Can we table this for tomorrow?

I'm running on fumes.

So instead of traveling
around the country with me,

she'd rather smuggle
cigarettes and rot in jail.

How the hell is that
supposed to make me feel?

I don't know.


Damn right, bad.

Treated that woman like a queen.

Didn't you break up with her?

That was a bluff.

Never thought she'd call it.

Well, you are coming
to her rescue.

Maybe this'll turn
things around.

Who says I want her back?

Great, you don't want her back.
Let's drop it.

I will say one thing.

I miss the sex.

Oh, God.

She is vivacious.

And not just for a woman
her age.

Oh, look, a hitchhiker.

Let's pick him up.
Maybe he'll kill me.

Do you hate Georgie?

No. No, Georgie's
a good guy.

If anything, I hate myself
for making bad decisions.

Like having sex before marriage?

More like having
tequila before sex.


What's going on here?

Mandy was just telling me
how she got pregnant.

No, no... But you said...


Uh, are Georgie and Connie okay?

Um, I hope so.

My husband just went down there
to get 'em out.

Okay. That's good.

Okay, I guess I'll get going.

It... was nice seeing ya.

I'm sorry about your troubles
with the church.

What did you tell her?

Just the highlights.

Oh! I forgot I punched out
a kid in Sunday school.

You don't have to
tell her all that.

Maybe she'll feel guilty
and marry Georgie.


How ya holding up?

Not so good.

Kid ain't even born yet and
I'm already a terrible father.

You're not terrible.

A terrible father
would've walked away.

Thank you.

Was my dad real pissed off?


He was positively giddy

about having to drive eight
hours down to the border

to bail your ass out.

Your ass, too.

Yeah, but I like it when
he's pissed at me.

This'll be a cool story
to tell my kid someday.


Oh. You know
what would be awesome?

If it was a boy,
we name him Winston.

You know, like the cigarettes?

And if it's a girl,
we could name her Virginia.

Virginia Slims.


I think that's enough
of you for now.




How come George ain't
taking out the garbage?

He's, uh...

I am perfectly capable
of taking the trash cans out.


You are woman... hear
you roar.



I sure hope we're still gonna
see y'all in church tomorrow.

Thank you. Um...

I'll think about it.

How's Georgie and his,
uh, young lady friend?

Great. They're great.

Has anything changed
vis-à-vis their... nuptials?

Nope. Baby's gonna be a bastard.

That's what you're implying,
isn't it?

Not a word I like to use.

But, most important,
a happy, healthy...


What you said.

Good night, Pastor.

God bless.


I can't sleep.

Me neither.

This whole Mandy thing
is a mess.

If you mean the nomenclature,
I agree.

Norman who?

The system of devising

or choosing names for things.

For example, if Mandy
and Georgie were married,

she'd be our sister-in-law.

But they're not.


So we need a term
for the unmarried mother

of our future niece or nephew.

How 'bout "Mandy"?

Follow me... if we knew the sex
of the baby and it was a boy,

I was thinking we could call
Mandy "nephewterus,"

because she'd be having
a nephew in her uterus.

However, "niece uterus"
just doesn't hit the ear right.

I still think "Mandy" works.

Now, there is
a gender-neutral term

coined by linguist Samuel Martin
in the 1950s,

which takes the "N" from "niece"
or "nephew" with "sibling"”

to get "nibling."

So she'd be our nibling?

No, the baby's the nibling.

Mandy would be either
the niblingess or the niblinger.

Or, in a swerve from
our traditional German suffixes,


That one.

Oh, yeah, that one's the winner.

"niblingo" never quite caught on.

But that doesn't stop me
from using it inScrabble.

This is

gonna be my Christmas card.

What the hell?

What are you doing here?

I'm saving ya.

You think I got that kind
of cash lying around?

He doesn't.
That's why I'm saving you.

Well, damn.

Georgie, come on. Five more minutes.


Okay! Okay.

Fine's paid. Let's go.

I'm really sorry
about this, Dad.

We'll talk about it in the car.

Well, it's just you and me.


Yeah, it is.
'Cause I'm saving ya.

I know I messed up.


And I'm gonna pay you back.

Every penny.


You get that I was doing this
for the baby, right?

I do.

Which, when you think about it,

could be a reason
to be proud of me.

Take some time. Think about it.

When I get the pictures
developed, you want copies?


Jail's made you cranky.

Still haven't
heard "thank you."

Thank you.

Those are the words, but...

just not feeling it.

I'm tired.

I'm sore. I'm embarrassed.

Could we just...

please not?


Did you have to join any gangs
when you were in there?

Can I ask you something?


Were you scared when Mom
got pregnant with me?

I was terrified.


Why? You scared?



You'd be a fool if you weren't.

I don't know what I'm doing.

I don't know
what's expected of me.

At least you and Mom got
married and were a team.

Yeah, you got it rougher
than me.

Does it ever stop being scary?

I got a call from the Mexican
border that my son was in jail.

What do you think?

Fair point.


It's not all scary.
There's fun parts.

Like what?

We went to the beach once.
That wasn't bad.

Well, regardless,
it's happening.

I'm gonna be a dad.

Yes, you are.

I hope I'm as good
a dad as you are.

Don't try to butter me up.

You saw that, huh? Yeah, I saw it.

Boy, you are smart.

Just to be clear, I'm gonna
pay you back every cent.

Ah. Don't worry
about it.

I am worrying about it. Well,

think of the money as a gift.

That I'm gonna be holding
over your head.

Well, that doesn't work for me.

How 'bout...

when we get home...

I make it up to ya?

Now, hold on. You want to...

you want to wipe out a $2,500
debt with one roll in the hay?

Are you saying I'm not worth it?

I'm saying it's a lot of money.

Never mind.
Offer's off the table.

No, no, no, wait a minute.
Hang on.

Too late. Too late.

Hey, I was thinking
a fair price would be...

$500 a roll.

Well, isn't that
what a girl wants to hear?

Seemed fair to me.

Do you think Georgie
got a tattoo in jail?


Do you think Meemaw did?


Are we going to church?

I'm going.

After everything that happened?

Isn't that weird?

Doesn't matter.

I need to.

I'll go with you.

You don't have to.

I want to.


This isn't where we sit.

It's all right. All right?

This is nowhere near
the acoustic sweet spot.Shush.

And I'm sitting behind what
may be the largest man in Texas.


Dear friends, let us love

one another.

Whoever does not love
does not know God,

because God is love.

It means that we
are responsible for sharing

that love
with all those around us.

Now let's join hands and pray.

Dear Heavenly Father,

thank you for gathering
us here today

to join together in worship...

I've had enough. Let's go.

You sure? Yes.
Please give us

the strength to reflect

your abundant love out
into the world.

Thank you
for bringing us here today

to join together in worship.

Excuse me.

Am I the only one struck
by the incredible hypocrisy

of this sermon?

You go on and on
about loving one another

and how God is love.

But not when it comes
to my mother and our family?

And why? Because my brother
impregnated a woman

11 years older than him?

Which one could argue
was an act of love.

Sheldon. At least on his part. She
doesn't seem to care for him.

Also, earlier, you said
"Nebuh-kuh-nezzar." Sheldon.

In Hebrew, it would be
pronounced "Neboo-kha-nezzar."

More in the back of the throat.

Kha. Bye.Sheldon.

Or in Hebrew, shalom.

Which also means "hello."
And "peace."

Kha! Kha!

How's Mom?

Pretty upset.

Even after that
excellent speech I made?

For once, I don't think
you're the problem.

Good for me.

I'm reading.

Hi there, Missy.

May I help you?

Um, I was hoping to talk
to your mom. She around?

I'm not sure.
Let me see if she's available.

What's going on?

She's available.


Mary, I am so sorry about today.

I understand why you're upset.

But the church is
still your family.

I'd just... hate to see you
walk away from the Lord.

Feels like he's
walking away from me.