Young Sheldon (2017–…): Season 5, Episode 22 - A Clogged Pore, a Little Spanish and the Future - full transcript

Previously on Young Sheldon...
George?

Roy.
You work here now?

Yeah, just nights and weekends
since you and the boosters

are gunning for my neck.

What's going on?

I'm pregnant.

People are talking
about Georgie.

Maybe take some time off.

Focus on things at home.

Are you firing her?

Is that really necessary?

I believe it is.

I've heard people say fathers
are the real superheroes.

My dad couldn't fly

or bend steel, and you would
not want to see him in Spandex,

But like Superman,

he had his Fortress of Solitude.

♪

Can I get another?

Hey, George.

Great.

Come on, now,
don't be like that.

Let me buy you a beer.

I don't need your beer and
don't act like we're friends.

Just being nice.

Right. You try to get me fired,

and then buy me a beer,
and everything's good.

George,

the whole damn town knows
your team's a disaster.

Is that so?

Should I take a poll?

You should go back
to your table.

I don't want to kick a man
when he's down.

Oh, I ain't down.

I hate to tell you.

But, yeah, you are.

Yeah, you better walk away.

This is why the only bar

I frequent is the Genius Bar
at the Apple Store.

♪ Nobody else
is stronger than I am ♪

♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain

♪ I bet I could be your hero

♪ I am a mighty little man

♪ I am a mighty little man.♪

♪

What is that?

A bug bite?

Hello, allow me
to introduce myself.

I am Acne Vulgarus.

More commonly known
as the pimple.

Frankly, neither name
paints a very pretty picture,

but such is the life
of a pustule.

And this is
my longtime colleague,

Pus. Now, we're usually

associated with, uh,
ugliness and discomfort,

but I would argue

we're actually
a symbol of growth.

In this case,
Sheldon Cooper's ascent...

or descent... into adulthood.

Kind of a signpost that says,

"You are now entering puberty."

Yeah, like that.

Doesn't look like a bug bite.

It's probably a pimple.

It's not, I don't get those.

As you might expect,
we pimples are not

very fond of popping things,

but I was about to burst

this young man's bubble.

Oh, yeah, that's a zit.

No, it's not.
My hygiene is impeccable.
Zit.

Everybody gets 'em
sooner or later, baby.

I'm not everybody.

No one is ever happy to see me.

My therapist says that's
their problem, not mine.

But, honestly,

it hurts.

Pus?

This is supposed
to be a safe space.

So I ran into Roy last night.

Okay.

Sounds like I'm done here.

He said that?
Basically.

It's probably
that coach from Carthage.

Actually...

it's not.

What's going on?

I got offered the job.

Wayne.

I-I didn't answer yet.

I wanted to talk it over
with you first.

What's to talk about?
You want it, right?

Well, yeah, but...

but not behind your back.

I'll make it easy for you.

That did not make it easier.

Morning, George.

I know what's going on.

I'm sorry.

I did everything I could.

You know I'm on your side.
Yeah, right.

We still want you
to finish out the year.

I'm not doing that. I quit.

Come on, George.

Is there a chance I keep my job?

No.

Then at least let me leave
on my own terms.

All right.

I'll take a beer.

Celebrating a win?

No, I've been losing
all morning.

Couple more of them,
you won't give a crap.

Let's hope.

What the hell are you doing?

Making extra money.

Are you crazy?

You're gonna
get us all arrested.

You're paying off the cops,
ain't you?

For gambling.
You start selling liquor

without a license,
you're asking for trouble.

I'm having a baby. I need cash.

Well, think of something else.

Well, can I have a raise?

Are you selling that
or drinking it?

Give me that.

Hey.

How is this empty already?

It was my lunch.

This is...

just a pimple.

Well, how can you be sure
it isn't chicken pox?

Or small pox? Or monkey pox,

which I know sounds made-up,
but is very real.

Have you been near any monkeys?

No.

Try benzoyl peroxide.

It's over the counter.

Oh, no, not...

benzoyl peroxide.

I'm melting!

I'm melting!

Give me a break.

But a pimple is a sign
of puberty, and I'm

showing no other indicators.
No armpit or chest hair,

and I have so little interest
in the opposite sex,

I barely noticed you're a woman.

Thank you.

What are you doing home?

I quit my job.

What? Why?

The school offered it to Wayne.

I wasn't gonna sit around
waiting to get fired.

Oh.

You doing okay?

No, Mary, not really.

We're standing here
without jobs in a house

we're not done paying for.

Well, you're still working
at Ballard's, right?

That ain't gonna cover
the mortgage.

We've been through
tough spots before.

We'll figure it out and...

I know you don't want

to hear it, but I've been
praying on this...

You're right.
I don't want to hear it.

Dr. Linkletter,

may I speak with you?

If I say no, will you leave?

No.

Then why even ask?

It's called manners.

What do you want?

I was hoping
we could discuss puberty.

Then allow me
to dash your hopes. No.

But I think I may be entering
it, and I would like to talk

about it,
man-to-blossoming-young-man.

Wouldn't you rather
talk to your father

or a schoolmate
or literally anyone else?

But you went through it once.

Sure, it was
a long, long time ago,

but I'm assuming
the basics haven't changed.

Hold that thought.

Okay, so, what's the problem?

I wanted to talk with
Dr. Linkletter about puberty.

And I wanted
to avoid litigation.

Hey, if we can't

sell beer,
what about cigarettes?

We could make money
and keep people

from leaving to go buy more.

That's not a bad idea.

I could go down to Walmart,
buy some cartons.

We could mark 'em up like crazy.
Mm-hmm.

Reminds me of when I was young

and we used to go down
across the border

and get 'em cheap in Mexico.

How cheap?

Well, between
the taxes and the peso,

practically nothing.

Let's do that.

I'm not driving to Mexico.

I don't need you. I'll go.

Where do I go?

I'm not telling you.
Why?

'Cause you're dumb
in this country.

God knows what you are
anywhere else.

Fine.
I'll just head south

and see where it takes me.

I'm impressed
you knew it was south.

But what if it's scratchy
and it's all I can think about?

It's just armpit hair.

Well, I don't even have it yet

and it's already
consuming my thoughts.

All right, Sheldon,
you are a smart kid.

Now, you had to know that this
was gonna happen eventually.

I'm a smart kid now,
but what will I be in a year?

A smart young man.

And then a smart adult.

With money problems
and marital strife

and every other problem
you can think of.

I'll probably have a beer belly.

Or root beer belly.

All right, now, Sheldon...

being a grown-up
isn't all bad, right?

Eh.

I mean, yeah, sure, your...

you know, your body starts
to fall apart.

But there

is a window

at about, mm, 22

where everything's just...
mwah.

Oh, when I was 22,

I was a strapping
blonde oak of a man.

I'd walk down the street,
you could hear the knees buckle.

If I could go back,

I would wear
nothing but a bikini, 24-7.

My mind was a steel trap.

I could rattle off pi
to 25 places.

Today...

not sure where I parked.

I once went to France
for a month

with a man I met
in the airport bar.

Missed my grandmother's
funeral, but...

ooh, la-la.

It all went by so fast.

Too fast.

I'm new to puberty.

Is this sexual tension?

Here.

What's this?

Classifieds.

Let's do this.

Really?

Yeah, we could
sit here and sulk

or we can find jobs.

Now, pick up that pen
and start circling.

All right.

Let's see what we have here.

Here's one.

Oh.

College degree required.

Hmm.

Eh...

I can't type.

I can.
90 words a minute?

Let's keep looking.

In fact, I bet I find
a job faster than you can.

We'll see about that.

How are we not qualified
for anything?

Well, there were a couple.

I'm not gonna be
night security guard

at the junkyard, George.

You can.

You know I get sleepy.

So I'll pick you up
in the morning?

Well, not too early.
I have to walk Mitzy.

Your dog?

The wife. She got a new hip,

and the doc says she needs
to keep it moving.

Well, I still need your address.

4244 Hibiscus Court.

What's going on here?

Wade's coming with me to Mexico.

Why?

It's a long drive.

And he knows a little Spanish.

Sí.

Okay.

¿Sí?

You're gonna
get yourself killed.

I got no choice.

I got a kid coming.

If you're hell-bent on going
to Mexico, I'm going with you.

Shotgun.

You are not coming, Wade.

¿Comprende?

Sí.

Hey, good news.

I was picking up some
groceries at Davidson's.

They're hiring.

Yeah, well, good for you.

I got an application
for you, too.

I'm not working

at a supermarket, Mary.
Why not?

'Cause I was head coach of
the high school football team.

I'm not bagging
people's groceries.

It's an honest job, George.

It's embarrassing.

It's embarrassing to provide
for your family?

It's embarrassing that I busted
my ass all these years,

and this is where I am.

I'm right there with you.

I lost my job, too.

Yeah, it's exactly the same.

You know what you are?

I'm not gonna say it,
but you know.

What the hell?

Help.

Something weird's going on.
Not now, George.

I have to finish making
the kids' lunches, get them

to school, and then go looking

for a new job.
But I'm turning into my father.

I don't have time for whatever
crisis you're going through.

And why are you still
wearing that uniform?

You don't even
work there anymore.

Well, maybe nothing else
was clean.

You're a grown man...
you can wash your own clothes.

Would you two quit fighting?

You ain't the only one
with problems.

For God's sakes,
why are you always here?

Don't be mean to her.
You're mean to me.

I'm just dropping off
your mail, fatass.

And it's nothing but bills.

Just got back
from the baby doctor.

Mandy's having triplets.
Dang it.

How we gonna handle all this?

I guess Sheldon's gonna have to

drop out of school
and get a job.

I hear the coal mine's hiring.

Ain't that too messy for him?

The boy's got
to grow up sometime.

Ain't that the truth.

He's got that nasty pimple,

so he's well on his way.

Whoa.

Heavy stuff.

But like a... caterpillar

transforming into a butterfly,

things need to get

a little weird along the way.

How can people not like us?

That was awesome.

And Pus is available

for children's parties.

I hate you.

This better be an emergency.

My pimple has me concerned
about the future.

Not an emergency.

Good night.

But we're twins
and we have a special bond,

so you can't ignore me
in my time of need.

Watch me.

And I'm scared.

Damn it.

What's the problem?

My childhood is ending.

So?

Look at everyone around us...
they're all miserable.

Mom and Dad are unemployed.

They're constantly fighting.

Georgie's having a child.

First of all, no one's
having a kid with you, ever.

Don't be so sure.
With this intellect,

my genetic material
will be a hot commodity.

That's how I feel.

How does the future
not concern you?

I guess there's stuff
I'm looking forward to.

Like what?

Going on dates?

Boring.

Driving.

Scary.

Getting married.

Hopefully to Vanilla Ice.

You want to marry a snow cone?

Sheldon, there has to be stuff
you're excited to do.

Of course. Getting my PhD,

winning the Nobel Prize,

getting to meet
Professor Proton,

working with Stephen Hawking.

Okay, so, when you
start to get upset,

focus on that stuff.

But...

what if I grow up and none
of those things ever happen?

All you can do
is try and find out.

Those are the fundamentals
of the scientific method.

No doy.

The actual retail price
of the cedar chest

is $600...

I got today's classifieds.
Great.

Want to look through them?
Not really.

Is this what you're gonna do
all day?

I got a shift
at Ballard's later.

Can you get off my back?

Fine.

I'm gonna go find a job.

You just sit there

and feel sorry for yourself.
Done.

You are going to play Plinko...

Ooh, Plinko.

Once we hit 281,

it's a straight shot
to the border.

It's all crazy.

What is?

A year ago I had nothing
to worry about.

I had no idea
how good I had it.

Well, what if a year from now

it's a disaster,

and this looks good?

That's not helping.

Oh, relax,
someday you'll be my age,

your kids'll be grown up,
all be good again.

But that's, like,
50 years from now.

Yeah, I waited
a long time for it.

So quit your bitching.

Ooh, I love this song.

♪ Bound by wild desires

♪ I fell into a ring of fire

My life's falling apart
and you're singing?

♪ I fell into
a burning ring of fire ♪

♪ I went down,
down, down ♪

♪ And the flames
went higher ♪

♪ And it burns,
burns, burns ♪

♪ That ring of fire
Where?

♪ The ring of fire

Oh, hey, Mary.
Hey.

If you're looking for your
mother, her league's not today.

Actually, I'm here for you.

Why's that?

I saw in the classifieds
that you're looking for help.

I would like to apply.

You don't want to work here.

I mean, there's a bar.

God hates that.

Jesus turned water into wine.

I think he'd be cool with it.

Well, you know, it's... it's
actually a pretty boring job.

It's mostly payroll
and bookkeeping.

That is exactly
what I did at the church.

Mm-hmm.
In fact, you might say

it's right up my alley.

I don't know, Mary.

We're neighbors.

Is this a good idea?

Honestly...

everything is falling apart.

I just need one good thing
to happen.

Maybe we should go
to the emergency room.

It's just a pimple.
Pop it.

No.

I'll do it.

I like when it hits the mirror.

Now hold still.

It seems we've reached the end
of our time with Sheldon.

But it's never truly goodbye.

We'll be back
in moments of stress.

Like a big test.

Or my personal favorite,

school picture day...

How was your day?

Awful.

Oh. Well...

I have good news.

I could use it.

I got a job
at the bowling alley.

Working with Brenda?

Every day.

That is... really...

really good news.
Mm-hmm.

Hello.

Hey, George, it's Connie.

What's up?

Georgie and I ran into
a little problem at the border.

What border?

The Mexican one.

We got arrested.

What?
Who is it?

My sister encouraged me

to embrace adolescence

as a journey
of scientific discovery.

I stood before a whole new
teenage world of music,

slang words
and even clothing styles.

Pretty groovy, huh?

Wow, I might look too cool.