Young Sheldon (2017–…): Season 5, Episode 1 - One Bad Night and Chaos of Selfish Desires - full transcript

Previously on Young Sheldon...

Why do you always take his side?

I hate this family!

I was handling it till you came
and bulldozed right over me.

- Sheldon was upset.
- This isn't about Sheldon.

It's about you thinking
you're always right.

- Where are you going?
- I'm running away.

I'm coming with you.

You really want to
start this up again?

Oh, really?

Did I want to spend my evening

getting yelled at by my daughter
and my son and my wife?

I'm sorry, I didn't realize
you were so unhappy.

Because you
never bothered to ask.

Hi, George.

Oh, hey, Brenda.

You want some company?

Sure.

And then Missy starts tearing
everybody a new one,

'cause her little boyfriend
broke up with her.

Poor thing.

But good training for when
her husband dumps her one day.

I'm sorry about that.

No, you know what, the truth is,
it was over a while ago.

It happens.

But, hey,

he's got the kids tonight
and ladies drink half price,

so let's pretend I'm a lady.

Yes, ma'am.

Mm.

Mm.

You look like you could use
a shot with that beer.

Shots?
I got school in the morning.

Oh. I didn't realize we were
both here for ladies' night.

Can we get some shots over here?

How am I supposed to compete
with a seventh grader?

Mom won't even let me shave
my legs.

Can we please go home?

You can. I'm not.

As we've established,

Very scary,
me: very scared.

Then I guess you're here
until the sun comes up.

So I'll be able to see
what kills me? Pass.

Can you at least go back
to complaining about boys

so I can get some sleep?

We licked the same
Ring Pop once.

It's like it meant nothing.

You were a cheerleader?

Yeah. I mean, you wouldn't
know it to look at me now.

Don't say that.

I can totally see you
on top of that pyramid.

Oh, I was on the bottom,
and you know it.

But at least
I could fill out a sweater.

You and me both, sister.

Oh!

I love Skynyrd!

You know what?
I saw them play Dallas.

You're kidding. Wh-What year?

I'd just got kicked out
of beauty school,

so I guess...
'76?

I was at that show!

- Stop it.
- Nah.

Nazareth opened.

Oh, my God. They did.

They did.

Small world.

Yeah.

♪ Shootin' you straight ♪

♪ Little girl... ♪

You want to dance?

Me? No.

- Oh, come on.
- No.

There's people here.

Well...

then what if we go
someplace else?

What do you have in mind?

Herschel does have the kids.

♪ Ah, yeah... ♪

Oh, God, I'm sorry.

That was...
that was over the line.

You okay?

George?

♪ Nobody else
is stronger than I am ♪

♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain ♪

♪ I bet I could be your hero ♪

♪ I am a mighty little man ♪

♪ I am a mighty little man. ♪

Hello?

Mary, it's Brenda.

George is in the hospital.

Wha...? Why? What's going on?

I'm not sure. The paramedics
think it might be his heart.

Is he okay?

I don't know.
The doctors are with him now.

Uh...

all right, I'll be there
as soon as I can. Bye.

Georgie?

Kids, put your clothes on! We...

And now I'm gonna need
a new notebook, 'cause mine has

"Missy and Marcus forever"
written all over it.

Geez. Less monkey, more Clint.

There we go.

Hello?

Are the kids with you?

No. Why?

George is in the hospital,
and the kids are missing.

What's wrong with George?

Something with his heart.
I don't know what to do.

Okay, okay, uh, well,
you go to the hospital,

and I'll go over to the house
and see if I can find the kids.

Thank you.

Uh, you think
they might be with Georgie?

I don't know where he is,
either!

You sure your boss
isn't gonna show up?

Yeah, but not positive.

So let's keep this train
on the tracks.

Aren't you gonna check that?

Nope.

But what if it's an emergency?

It's not.

I'm turning this off.

Dadgummit!

Well, is he gonna be okay?

You know as much as I do.
Now help me find the kids.

I'm on it.
I have an idea where they went.

Great. And where are you,
by the way?

Uh, at work.

This time of night? Why?

Got to find the kids.

Brenda.

Have you heard anything?

Not yet.

Oh, what happened?

Um, I-I ran into George
at the bar,

and... next thing I know,
he started having chest pains.

Well, thank the Lord
you were there with him.

Oh. I really didn't do anything.

Don't say that!

Who knows what would've happened

if you hadn't been there?

Yeah.

Missy?

Sheldon!

What the hell?!

You scared me.

You scared me.

Everyone scared me.

Dad's in the hospital.
We got to go.

Is he okay?

I don't know.

Come on.

Mrs. Cooper?

Your husband's gonna be okay.

Oh! Praise the Lord.

It was mild angina pectoris.

We're gonna keep him
for observation,

but he's awake
and you could see him now.

Thank you, Doctor.

Yeah, um...

Yeah, I'm gonna get out of here.
You go see George.

What? No!

You might have saved his life.

He's gonna want to thank you.

- You know, that's nice, but I think it's best if...
- Brenda,

I insist.

Okay.

Okay.

Come on.

Hi.

Hey.

Look who I have with me.

Hey, George.

Brenda.

Are you okay?

- Do you need a doctor?
- Oh, no.

Nah, I was just...

excited to see you, hmm?

Hey.

Good news. Your dad's doing okay

and should be home
in a couple of days.

Thank God.

Thank modern medicine.

Hmm, all right,

you two try and get
some sleep, okay?

Meemaw?

Do you think I gave
Dad a heart attack?

What?

No.

This isn't your fault.

I was really mean to him.

I was mean to him as well.

What I did was so much worse.

That is true. When we're
receiving our punishment,

they should really
let you have it.

Okay, y'all go to sleep.

But I was just an accomplice.

It wouldn't be fair if we
got equal punishment.

Sleep.

My meemaw didn't understand.

When I was feeling anxious,

it was rules and structure
that I found soothing...

Not to mention
the relaxing melody

of the Star Trek theme song.

Stop that.

As soon as I'm soothed.

Bad enough

they rolled me out in a
wheelchair I didn't need.

You could've let me drive.

You got winded
getting in the car.

You heard that, huh?

Should we talk about what
happened the other night?

What happened the other night?

Us having that huge fight.

Oh, that, that.

Forget it.

How can I?

It was a bad night.

I say best thing is to put
it in the rearview mirror.

Oh, I would love that.

Done. The other
night never happened.

Thank you.

And up next we've got a twofer

of Lynyrd Skynyrd coming at you.

Could use
a little peace and quiet.

With my
father home from the hospital,

my mother had instructed
us to let him relax.

And what could be more
relaxing than a spirited discussion

of societal rules and morality?

Dad.

What's up?

I'm struggling with
an ethical crisis.

Be a kid. Quit struggling.

Missy and I broke a lot
of rules the other night,

and we've received
no punishment.

Buddy, it's been a rough week.

We're just glad
you're both safe.

But in the absence
of a divine being,

society's rules are what keeps
a person's morality in check.

Well, there you go.

No, y-you're not following me.

If actions have
no repercussions,

society breaks down,
everything devolves into chaos.

You might be overthinking this.

I thought so, too. Then I
thought about it, and I'm not.

Sheldon, you had one bad night.

Just let it go.

But... I did something
wrong and I got away with it.

That's not okay.

- Buddy...
- Socrates maintained that the man

Who lies to himself has
an enemy living within.

He's not even a person.

He's just a chaos
of selfish desires

wrapped in an animal hide.

Hey. Pastor Jeff is here.

You up for some company?

You bet! Got to talk
to the pastor. Git.

Hey, George, Sheldon.

Excuse me, I have to "git."

Just wanted to bring
by some get-well cards

from the kids at Sunday school.

Well, isn't that sweet.

Some interesting spellings
of the name "George."

My favorites are

"Gorge" and "Garage."

Well, you tell the kids

that Coach Gorge appreciates it.

Will do.

You want to sit?

I'm not gonna stay long.

I just want to pray
over you a little

and let you get some rest.

Oh. Okay, yeah, sure.

Lord, I thank you
for George Cooper

and pray that you heal him

from the inside out.

This is a good man,

a family man, a devoted father

and a faithful husband.

Bless him and
everything he does.

Amen.

Heck yes, amen!

Hello.

Everything okay?

I'm having a moral quandary,
and I could really use your help.

Oh, moral quandaries.
I hate those.

Shoot.

You're the least
moral person I know...

How do you live with yourself?

I'm about to shut
this door in your face.

See? Other people would
be kind to a child in need.

That's why I came to you.

Okay, fine. What do you want?

I'm confused as to how
to go about my business

after misbehaving
and not being punished.

And where do I come in?

You tell lies,

you gamble, you have
quite the potty mouth,

and yet you never seem
to pay a price for any of it.

Well, when you're cute like me,

rules are just
a little different.

Hmm. That would also
explain the endless parade

of romantic partners.

Are you leaving because
you have a man in there?

No!

Hmm. Although she would
lie about it, so who knows?

Yeah?

Can I talk to you?

Of course. What's up?

I feel really bad
about the other day.

I was so mean to you.

Don't worry about it.

But you were just trying to
help and then I yelled at you

and then you had a heart attack.

That had nothing to do with you.

We don't know that.

Hey. Hey-hey.

Come here.

I'm so sorry.

Shh.

How are you doing
with all that... stuff?

You mean Marcus?

You don't have to talk
about it if you don't want to.

It's okay.

So, what happened?

You're not gonna believe this,

but he was hanging out with
another girl behind my back.

Oh, well...

may-maybe they're just friends.

Heather M. saw them
holding hands at the roller rink.

Does that sound
like friends to you?

Well... no.

Are all boys liars?

Uh... no.

I mean, how could
he do this to me?

I thought I could trust him.

Did he think I
wouldn't find out?

You know what, kiddo? I think it's
time for Daddy to take his heart pills.

I'm glad we talked.

Oh, me, too, me, too.

Hey.

- Hmm?
- I just wanted to let you know

I invited Brenda over
for a big thank-you dinner.

Oh. Terrific.

What are you doing?

Trying to fix this radio.

Should you be doing
that with a weak heart?

I'm just sitting here.

You look a little sweaty.

What do you want?

I'm gonna go hang out with Jana.

Just wanted to make
sure you're doing okay.

Hold on.

Are you worried I'm
gonna have a heart attack

and interrupt "private
time" with your girlfriend?

Yes.

At least you're honest.

Glad you think so.

Bye.

See you.

Psst. George.

What's up?

How you doing?

- Hanging in.
- So...

Is it weird, me
coming over for dinner?

What do you mean?

You know exactly what I mean.

Brenda, I had a lot
to drink that night.

You know, I don't remember much.

You don't?

No, I do not.

Oh. Okay.

I guess I don't either.

Great. See you at dinner.

Yeah, mm-hmm.

I still don't understand
why you'd rather work here

than be a physicist.

I'm enjoying the change of pace.

And they let me take home
all the expired food I want.

So, what brings you here?

Well, I did something wrong,

and yet I've received
no punishment.

What's my incentive
to behave morally

if the rules of society
aren't being enforced?

Reminds me of the Ring of Gyges.

I'm not familiar with
the Ring of Gyges.

Oh, it's a delightful
brainteaser.

Plato asked the question:

If you could wear a ring
that made you invisible,

what would prevent
you from committing

the most horrendous crimes?

Sounds an awful lot
like the Ring of Sauron

in The Lord of the Rings.

Oh. I'm not familiar with
The Lord of the Rings.

Oh, it's a delightful
series of fantasy books

in which there's a ring that
makes the wearer invisible

but also leads to
moral corruption.

Ooh. Perhaps you
should read Plato,

and I should read
The Lord of the Rings.

You should really
start with The Hobbit.

What's a hobbit?

It's a race of short
humanoids who live in burrows

and have hairy feet.

Oh. I've been called that.

But I never knew what it was.

The ancient
secrets of the mystic tarot

foreshadow your future.

If you dare to
discover your destiny...

Hello?

Hey, Brenda.

Your mind
holds limitless powers...

Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that.

Well, we'll have to
pick another day, then.

Okay.

Feel better. Bye.

What's going on?

Brenda can't make it to dinner.

She's not feeling well.

Oh, that's too bad.

I'll make her a plate

and run it over later.

I can bring that if you want.

You sure?

Yeah. I was a little
out of it at the hospital.

I really want to say thanks.

That'd be nice.

Ooh.

I'm in time for dinner. Good.

'Cause I have
worked up an appetite.

Hi.

Mary wanted to
send over some food,

since you weren't feeling well.

Thank you.

Can we talk a minute?

Look, I'm-I'm
sorry about earlier.

It's okay. I understand.

I just don't want
this to be weird.

We're neighbors. You
and my wife are friends.

Your kids aren't here, right?

No.

S-So, we're-we're neighbors.

You and my wife are friends.

That's why it's weird, George.

But nothing actually happened.

There's no reason
to feel guilty.

Okay.

I mean,

did we have too
much to drink? Sure.

Did-did we talk about going
home from the bar together?

Okay, I'm sorry about that.

No need to apologize,
'cause we didn't go.

All we did was have a nice
time in a public place. Mm?

Is there anything
wrong with that?

Kind of feels like it.

It does feel like it.

Why does it feel like it?

Maybe...

'cause it was nice to talk
to someone and feel special.

It was.

Mm, maybe you should go.

I should go.

- Thanks for stopping by.
- Yeah.

Yeah, all right.

In the face of a chaotic world,

we all seek comfort
in different ways.

Some turn to a higher power.

Lord, please protect my family,

keep them in your hands.

All my cares, all my worries,
all my fears for them...

Some
take refuge in fictitious worlds.

My congratulations, Captain.

A dazzling display of logic.

You didn't think I had it
in me, did you, Spock?

No, sir.

So great.

And one person I
know relied on lighter fluid and a match.

♪ What goes up ♪

That's right, burn.

♪ Must come down ♪

What are you doing?!

Moving on.

♪ I'm learning to fly ♪

- ♪ Learning to fly. ♪
- From what?