Young Sheldon (2017–…): Season 3, Episode 3 - An Entrepreneurialist and a Swat on the Bottom - full transcript

Sheldon takes matters into his own hands when Meemaw refuses to drive him to a lecture; Georgie tries to impress Veronica with his new business venture.

Previously on Young Sheldon...

Dr. Linkletter!

Please meet my girlfriend,

Connie Tucker.

Connie, did you grow up in Texas?

- Took my first bath in a ten-gallon hat.
- Oh, my goodness.

You're as funny as you are beautiful.

If I didn't know any better, I'd say

you were sweet-talking my
date right in front of me.


Hi, Dr. Linkletter.

- It's Connie Tucker.
- Connie.

To what do I owe the pleasure?

- I need a favor.
- Of course.

Should we discuss it over dinner?

I'll take a rain check on that.

I was hoping

that my grandson could
join in your physics class

until John is, uh... back.

- From the mental hospital?
- Yes.

The one he never told
you he'd been in before?

- Yes.
- A curious ethical choice

on his part, if you ask me.

Can he take the class or not?

Of course.

I never taught a child before.

Is he potty trained?

Teachers have always
been impressed by me.

All righty, then...

And my new college
professor was no exception.

You'd think it was my
once-in-a-generation intellect.

But it was more than that. There was my

wicked sense of humor...

...explained by maximizing entropy.

Yes, Sheldon?

Entropy. It isn't what it used to be.

Plus, when things got heavy,

I was always ready with a
fun fact to lighten the mood.

Fun fact: Did you know
that the ancient incas

stored bureaucratic records on
knotted strings called "quipu"?

Q-U-I-P-U. Quipu.

Whatever the reason, I was
clearly his favorite student.

Connie... What a treat it is

to see you.

Look at him smile.

He couldn't get enough of me.

Uh, Sheldon, if you're interested,

an old friend of mine
is giving a lecture

next week on the mathematics
of robotic communication.

- Really?
- Yes. If your grandmother's

willing to drive you,
maybe we can all go.

- Make a night of it.
- Oh, we'll be there.

Uh-uh-uh, wait, we-we don't
even know what night it is.

- Thursday.
- Oh. Thursday might be a problem for me.

- Thursday's perfect for you.
- Wonderful.

You don't know that.

Yes, I do. Mondays you have bowling,

Tuesday's water aerobics,
Wednesday, salsa dancing,

Fridays, you bring me here.

Your Thursday was wide
open, but not anymore.

- We'll see you then.
- Excellent.

Shall we plan on dinner beforehand?

- Ooh...
- Just, hold on.

Can I speak to you for a moment?

The grown-ups need to talk.

That wasn't made clear.

You're asking me out
in front of my grandson

so I can't say no.

You saw through that.

You think you're pretty smart.

Well, I do have two PhDs and
a date with you on Thursday.

Uh, you order something from
the Mountain View Candy Company?

Oh, yeah. Thanks.

The hell is it?

A big old box of candy.

What's all this about candy?

That robotics lecture's going to be

eye-opening. Get ready to
forget everything you know

about robot communication.

Moon Pie, I don't know if
we're gonna go to this thing.

Why not? We've established
that you're free,

and I'm a child, so my
schedule's wide open.

It's complicated.

Well, we're just sitting here,

and we have to talk about something.

Can you just let this one go?

I think we both know the
answer to that question.


There are certain grown-up dynamics

taking place here that you,

you might not be aware of.

Well, I like quantum-chromodynamics

and thermodynamics;

perhaps I'll like
grown-up dynamics. Tell me.

I'm just saying that Dr. Linkletter

might be paying special attention to you

so he can become better friends with me.


You're just gonna have
to trust me on this one.

Are you saying he doesn't really want me

- at this lecture?
- No,

I'm just saying he really
wants me at this lecture.

But that's illogical.

He knows you're in a
relationship with Dr. Sturgis.

And now we're back to it's complicated,

so drop it.

I'll try, but dropping
things is not where I shine.

Hey? What you buying?

- M&Ms?
- Cool.

Peanut or plain?

Am I in trouble?

You are if you waste your
money on that machine.


I'm selling the same
stuff for half the price.

Cool. Oh, you got Abba-Zabas?

Do I have Abba-Zabas.

Do you?


Tam, I need help navigating
a social situation.

I'm eating lunch with you.

You think I have the answer?

Dr. Linkletter invited me

to a lecture on robotics,
but my meemaw said

he's only doing it to
spend time with her.

Are you asking if men do
sketchy things to get dates?

- Yes.
- Well, then, I can help you.

Absolutely. Last week,
I told Jessica Geiger

I was an extra in Karate Kid Part II.

Did it work?


I'm having lunch with you.

Grant Linkletter.

This is Sheldon Cooper.
I'm speaking quietly

because I'm calling from a library.

Hello, Sheldon. Nice to hear from you.

Why are you whispering?
Are you in a library?

Good point.

How can I help you?

My meemaw doesn't want
to take me to the lecture

because she thinks that
you're just using me

to spend time with her.

I see.

Well, you're an intelligent young man.

What do you think?

I think she's wrong, and you invited me

because you know I
appreciate the subject matter.

Exactly right.

You're even smarter than I thought.

I knew it.

My meemaw couldn't be more wrong.


Oh, like you were reading a book anyway.

You sure you're only a freshman?

'Cause you got the sophisticated
taste buds of a junior. Easy.

Hey, Veronica.

What was that about?

Just conducting a little business.

Careful. When my sister
sold stuff at school,

she ended up in juvie.

Nothing like that.

- Just candy.
- Very entrepreneurial.

I'm impressed.

Impressed... impressed... impressed.

What can I say? I'm

Is that a word?

I don't know. But if
you got a lot of money,

you get to make stuff up.

All right, well, good luck.

Hey, you look like a Kit Kat man.

Good news.

You can take me to
the lecture after all.

Why is that?

- I told Dr. Linkletter everything you...
- Stop.

- Come inside.
- Why?

'Cause there's kids in this neighborhood

who don't need to hear the
language I'm about to use.

What, exactly... did you say

- to Dr. Linkletter?
- I said...

Hello. This is Sheldon Cooper.

I'm speaking quietly because
I'm calling from the library.

- And he said...
- Get to the point.

He's not using me to
spend time with you.

He said so. You're wrong.

You had no business
calling him, Sheldon.

You seem upset. Are you embarrassed

because you were wrong?

- No.
- Are you sure? I would be.

I'm not wrong.

He's lying to you, Sheldon.

- Interesting. I don't know who to believe.
- Really?

You're gonna believe
some guy you barely know

over your own grandmother?

Well, one of them said I'm really smart,

and one of them's
yelling at me right now.

We're done talking about this.

And I'm not taking you to that lecture!

- But I really want to go.
- Too bad!

You are incredibly selfish.

Excuse me?

You just care about what you want.

You don't care about what I want.

You're selfish.

How come your eyes stopped blinking?


- Meemaw swatted me on the bottom!
- What?


I wanted something,
and then she said no,

and then I called her selfish,
and then she went crazy!

Let me call her.


You don't want to thank her in person?

- Pardon me?
- Mm-hm?

I'm interested in getting some jewelry.

Well, sure, what's the occasion?

There's a young lady,
and I'd like to get her

something special.

Well, aren't you sweet?

- I like to think so.
- So what are you looking for?

A necklace, ankle
bracelet, uh, earrings?

Hmm... tough to choose between
her neck, ankles and ears.

They're all smokin' hot.

You were very rude to your grandmother.

Dad's rude to her all the time.

That is not... the point.

Do you have anything
to say for yourself?

Yes. I really wanted
to go to this lecture,

and I understand that I
upset Meemaw very much.

So which one of you will be taking me?

No one's taking you.

You're not going, Sheldon.

You two are even more
selfish than Meemaw.

How long you grounded for?

A month.

That sounds right.

Let me tell you the move:

You mix a bag of these with
a bag of these... mm, heaven.

You just want me to buy two bags.

I just want you to be happy.


And now I'm happy.

- Veronica.
- Oh, hey.

Come here. I got something for you.

Ooh, is it candy?

No, but it is pretty sweet.

Georgie, what did you do?

Just open it.

This looks expensive.

It was. Check out the price tag.


And that's without tax.

I can't accept this.

- B-But I bought it for you.
- Well, you shouldn't have.

I don't get you.

I went out of my way to
buy you something nice

and you don't even want it.

Georgie, it's too much.

I mean, you're not gonna impress
me by throwing money around.

You sure?

In "Material Girl," Madonna loves it.

The world had stopped making sense.

A grown-up had lied to me,
my meemaw and I were at odds,

I was in trouble with my parents.

I had to find a way to restore balance.

- I'm leaving.
- Okay, bye.

Before I go, I need to give this to you.

You're interrupting television. What?

I should be back later
tonight, but in case I'm not,

this envelope contains my whereabouts.

Do not open it unless
you absolutely have to.

- That it?
- Yes.

Okay, bye.

"I knew you were going to
open this the moment I left.

To slow you down I've shrouded

my destination in code."

What a dork.


Am I correct that the bus
to Dallas has a stop in Rusk?


I'd like to buy one ticket, please.

You need an adult to buy it.

Oh, I didn't know.

That's the rules.

I'm just trying to visit
my friend in the hospital.

Not the regular kind of hospital,

a psychiatric hospital.

He's actually a brilliant scientist

in the field of theoretical physics.

Dr. John Sturgis, you may
have heard of him. Anyway,

he's a great guy. We're
almost the same height...

And then he and my meemaw
became a romantic item,

not that there haven't
been bumps in the road.

I actually helped them by writing up

a relationship agreement.
I love drawing up contracts.

But I don't love drawing. Interesting.

Anyway, he doesn't drive.

Maybe one day he'll take a
bus and you'll get to meet him.

Anyway, even though I'm
clearly her favorite grandchild,

she swatted my bottom.

It didn't hurt that much physically,

but emotionally, it
stung like the dickens.

Here you go. One ticket to
Dallas with a stop in Rusk.

But that's against the rules.

I'm an adult, I bought it.

Ooh, a loophole. Thank you.

I'd tell you all about

the etymology of the word "loophole,"

but I have a bus to catch.

- Tarzan, I thought you were dead.
- I'm home.


Hey, baby, where's Sheldon?

I don't know, he left.

He left? Where'd he go?

He wouldn't tell me, but he
wrote it in this weird letter.

- When did he leave?
- An hour ago.

An hour?!

I told him not to go.

- Anyone sitting here?
- No.

Aren't you a little young
to be traveling alone?

Yes, but I'm quite a capable traveler.

I've memorized the entire bus
schedule for the state of Texas.

- Ask me anything.
- No, thanks.

Okay, but if at any point you'd
like to know what time the bus

from Waco arrives in Houston, ask away.

4:15, except on Fridays

when they make a local
stop in Huntsville.

No wonder this seat was empty.

See you tomorrow.


"Before you get mad,

this only cost me ten cents."

I saw you smile.

Go away, Georgie.

You can eat it or wear
it, it's up to you.

Dots and dashes...

Maybe it's Morse code.

Where is he?

We think this is Morse
code. What does it say?

Gee, I don't know.

What do you mean you don't
know? You were in the Army.

Yeah, so? Can't do a push-up, either.

Well, that's a separate problem.

Okay, so how do we read it?

I'd say ask Sheldon, but he
left after I clearly said not to.

There must be a book on
Morse code in here somewhere.

- Okay, where do we look?
- I don't know.

- I know how to use the card catalog.
- Go, go!

You're just useless, aren't you?

Did you have tuna for lunch

or do you just smell
like that all the time?


Did you have tuna for lunch
or do you smell like...

I heard it. I'm just
wondering who raised you.

My mother and father,
and I suppose my meemaw.

Well, they don't seem like
they're doing a great job.

Tell me about it.

It's been quite the week.

I'm sure I'll regret this, but... so?

Before I tell you the story,

how much do you know
about the mathematics

of robotic communication?

That's okay. I'll put it into
terms a bus lady can understand.

There's a wide range of protocols

used for inter-robotic...

- Dot, dot, dot.
- Uh, "S."

Got it.

- Dot.
- "E."

- All right.
- Another dot, dot, dot.

- Uh, "S" again.
- Okay.

What do we have so far?

"I am taking a bus.

Fun fact about buses..."

- You got to be kidding me. Oh, Lord.
- Come on!

So how old is this
professor friend of yours?

73 and a half.

And why are you going to see him?

Because everything made
sense before he went away,

and now no one's on my side.

So you think only a
person in a mental hospital

- can understand you?
- Correct.

That's the first thing
you've said that sounds right.

Does he really think
these facts are fun?

Not now.

I've got it. He's headed to Rusk.

He's going to the hospital to see John.

- I'll call the police.
- Hurry!

- Is Sheldon going to jail?
- No!

Damn it.

And then they grounded
me. Can you believe it?


But I didn't do anything wrong.

You did everything wrong.

You were nothing but
rude and ungrateful.

You really think so?

The only selfish person
in that story is you.

There's a Star Trek episode
called "The Devil in the Dark"

where the miners thought
the Horta was the monster,

but actually the
miners were the monsters

because they were killing its eggs.

Are you saying it's like that?


State troopers.

I wonder what they want.

It turns out they wanted me.

Fun fact, this was one of seven times

I was brought home by law enforcement...

once, on the back of a horse.

They're coming.

A kind stranger on a bus

helped me see how I hurt my family

and that I owed them the best apology

I knew how to give.

No, don't fire!

- Kill it!
- First man that fires is dead.

That thing has killed 50 of my men.

You've killed thousands of her children.


Those round silicon nodules

that you've been collecting and
destroying? They're her eggs.

Tell them, Mr. Spock.

There have been many generations
of Horta on this planet...

I think you all understand
why I wanted to show you this.


It's an apology.

I was the miners, you were the Horta.

How about just saying, "I'm sorry"?

Wow, you're really not getting this.

Let's watch it again.

...the eggs live.