Young Sheldon (2017–…): Season 3, Episode 16 - Pasadena - full transcript

(MODEM BEEPING)
ADULT SHELDON: In the early days

of the Internet,
you couldn't stream movies

or summon Thai food
to your doorstep.

But... if you were interested
in text-based news

about upcoming physics lectures,

it was a great time to be alive.

Holy moly.

Dad.

Dad!

I'm in the shower!

It's an emergency.

Fine! Come in.

Dad?

I thought you
had to use the bathroom.

At 7:23 in the morning?

Why do I print out schedules if
you're not going to read them?

Tell me what you want.

What are we doing next weekend?

This ain't sounding
like an emergency.

It is. Stephen Hawking
is giving a lecture,

and I really need to go.

Can we talk about this
when I'm out of the shower?

Pick up the pace.
According to the schedule

that you don't read,
I'm due in there in six minutes.

♪ Nobody else
is stronger than I am ♪

♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain

♪ I bet I could be your hero

♪ I am a mighty little man

♪ I am a mighty little man. ♪

So can we go?

(SIGHS)
I don't know.

Go take a shower.

I still have two minutes
and 15 seconds.

Let's nail this down.

Where's the lecture?

And if the answer's Dallas,
we're not going.

Good news: It's
not Dallas. Where?

Pasadena, California.

(CHUCKLES):
California?

That's a lot further
than Dallas.

1,232 miles further
as the crow flies.

But kudos to you
for being up on your geography.

There's no way
we're going to California.

If Stephen Hawking can
make it there in a wheelchair,

I'm sure we can manage.

(SIGHS): Sheldon,
airplane tickets are expensive.

Hotels are expensive.
We can't afford it.

But his health is fragile.

This might be my only chance
to ever see him in person.

I'm sorry, buddy.

I would like
to discuss this further,

but I only have...

22 seconds to be in the shower,
and buttons slow me down.

Thisis the moment
we lost that game.

But one bad play doesn't
mean you give up.

We had plenty of time
to turn it around,

but y'all decided it was over.

I don't want to ever
see that happen again.

Next time something seems
out of your reach,

you do not quit.

You just dig deeper.

Does that mean
if I find an affordable flight

to California, we can go?

(SIGHS)

(DOOR OPENS)

Hi. Can I help you?

I'm trying to find the cheapest
flight to California

for me and my father.Okay.

Well, have a seat.

You lookin' to go to Disneyland?

The only ride
I'm interested in is

the intellectual roller coaster
of Stephen Hawking's mind.

And where is that located?

Well... Stephen Hawking's head.

But that will be at Caltech
in Pasadena.

Got it.

And, uh, when
were you looking to fly?

Next weekend.

Oh, wow, that's pretty soon.

Traveling last-minute
can be pricey.

Are there any discounts
available?

Are you a member
of any frequent-flyer programs?

No. I've never flown before.

Well, ways
to keep the cost down are:

Flying on weekdays,
multiple layovers, or...

This probably
doesn't apply, but...

Airlines offer special fares

if there's been a death
in the family.

Interesting.
May I use your phone?

(PHONE RINGS)

Hello?

What else you got?

Hello?

See ya.

Where you going? Out with Jana.

You've been spending a lot
of time with her lately.

Is she your girlfriend?

Dad, can you make her stop?

Yeah, I could but I won't.
Also, I can't.

I just want to know
what's going on in your life.

And if this girl is
someone special to you,

then she's special to me.

Come on.

Mary, enough. What?

I want to know.

Bye.

If it helps,
I don't care.

It does. Thank you.

Why doesn't he tell me anything?

When you were a teenager, did
you tell your parents stuff?

Well, no.

Then why do you expect him to?

'Cause I'm a cool, fun mom.

(SNICKERS)

(CLEARS THROAT SOFTLY)

Dad, good news.
Airline tickets to California

are more affordable
than you think.

Sheldon, we're not going.

What's all this about?

Stephen Hawking is giving
a lecture at Caltech.

If we leave on Wednesday and are
willing to make four layovers,

in Boise, Denver,
Albuquerque and Fargo,

we can get there
for only $95 each.

I have a job... I can't just
leave in the middle of the week.

W-Well, then what about Mom?

Sorry, Shelly, we're not
in a position to do this.

But Stephen Hawking's my hero.

Imagine if you got a chance
to see Jesus or...

Dad got to meet the man
who invented beer.

(SIGHS)

Someone's Underoos are
in a knot.

My Underoos are fitting
just fine, thank you.

Then why is there a stick
up your butt?

Stop making inquiries
about my bottom.

But I enjoy it.

Mom and Dad won't take me
to California

to see Stephen Hawking.

You thought they would take you

to California? Yes.

They wouldn't even buy me
this book at the book fair.

I had to get it at the library.

There's a booger
on one of the pages.

Well, I may never get another
chance to see him in person.

Suck it up. You always get
everything you want.

That's not true.

You got a computer.

I'm reading a booger book.Fine.

How do you recommend
I "suck it up"?

I don't know,
when you don't get your way,

shut up and move on.

Is that what you do? Yeah.

And that's why you
don't have a computer.

(SIGHS)

Georgie is my son...
I have the right

to know who he's
spending time with.

You talking about Jana?

You know her?

Well, I don't really knowher.

I've seen them hanging out
together at Dale's store

a couple of times.

She's cute.

Great. So you know
even more than I do.

(CHUCKLES):
Always have.

(SIGHS) I don't feel
I'm being out of line

wanting to...

know how old this girl is

or what church she goes to
or her last name.

Owens.

(EXHALES)

What? Now you know.

Unbelievable!

Oh, geez, you worry

about Sheldon not being normal,

now you're worried
about Georgie beingnormal...

How did I raise such a turd?

I am not...

that word.

If you can't say the word,
you might be the word.

Hmm.

(CHUCKLES)

ADULT SHELDON: Over the next few days,
I tried to take my sister's advice

and "suck it up."

But how could I,

when everything reminded me
of Stephen Hawking?

(IMITATING ENGINE REVVING)

Hmm.

(GROANS)

AUTOMATED VOICE: L-E-A-R-N.

That is correct.
Now spell...

Oh, dear!

GEORGE JR.: It's actually
a shampoo for ladies,

but my hair just responds to it.

JANA: So, what are you doing
Friday night?

GEORGE JR.: No plans.

JANA: My parents
are gonna be out of town.

Really?

Wanna come over?

My parents won't let me
if your folks ain't there.

JANA: Okay.

Uh, but I guess
I don't have to tell 'em.

JANA: Cool.

STURGIS: Okay, that's it.

ADULT SHELDON: Nothing was
able to shake me from my doldrums,

not even Dr. Sturgis's
jaunty new sweater-vest.

Sheldon?

Yes?

You seem distracted.

I really wanted to see Stephen
Hawking speak at Caltech,

but my parents
can't afford the trip.

That's too bad.

Dr. H puts on a heck of a show.

I believe it.

Would it make you feel better
to know this vest is reversible?

A little. Thanks.

Wait.

I may be able to help
you with Hawking.

Really?

This vest is not the only thing
that's full of surprises.

Where ya goin'?

Out.

Out where?

Jana's.

Her parents gonna be there?

Yep.Okay.

Let me just call and make sure.

Owens.

Owens.

That's her last name,
right? Owens?

Why are you being so weird?

I'm not being weird.
Are you?

No.

Good. No one's being weird.

Don't call 'em.

Why not?

Why can't you just trust me?

(EXHALES)

Because I know
that you're lying.

What? No, I'm not.

I heard you
on the phone with Jana.

You spied on me?

I didn't mean to,
but I'm glad that I did,

because you just lied
to my face.

You are not going anywhere.

Try and stop me.

You walk out that door,
and your father gets involved.

I don't need this.

(DOOR SLAMS)

Dang.

Dad.

You missed everything.
What happened?

Georgie lied to Mom
to be alone at Jana's house,

but Mom knew 'cause she
listened in on his phone call.

Oh, boy.

Now he's grounded
and everyone's mad.

Not me. I'm super happy.

Well... bye.

Dad, the university offered to
pay for us to go to California!

They're even putting us up
in a hotel.

You're kidding.

We're going to California?

No, just me and Dad.

That's fair.

I'm so happy for you.

ADULT SHELDON: Sometimes sarcasm

was laid on so thick

even I could detect it.

Thanks!

ADULT SHELDON: This was not
one of those times.

I see.

Well, no, that makes sense.

Okay, John, thanks.

Bye.

Sheldon was right.

They're offerin' to pay
for the whole trip.

Why?

Sturgis talked to his boss,

and they really want to keep
Sheldon goin' to school there.

I guess I could take him.

Why you?

He asked me first.

I'm mad at Georgie right now.

It'd be good for us
to have some space.

So, you pick a fight
with Georgie,

and I don't get to go
to California?

(HUFFS) Fine, you can go.

Thank you.

Have fun managing Sheldon's
bathroom schedule

in different time zones.

Let me get a picture of my boys
before their big trip.

It's smart to document this.

Next time you see me,
I'll have been in the presence

of Stephen Hawking.

Smile.

I'd prefer to look serious.

This may appear
in a textbook someday.

Say, "Stephen Hawking."

Stephen Hawking.
Stephen Hawking.

SHELDON: Aw, you made me smile.

(SPORTSCASTER SPEAKING
INDISTINCTLY ON TV)

Wash up for dinner.

I ain't eatin'.

Well, you're not watchin' TV.

I can't leave the house,
and now I can't watch TV.

Yeah, it's called
being grounded.

I can't wait to move out.

What was that?!

Next time, I'll say it
on the phone,

so you can hear me.

(DOO-WOP MUSIC PLAYING ON RADIO)

You keep frownin' like that,
you're gonna get wrinkles

like your meemaw.

You look great.

I know, I just wanted
to hear you say it.

What's on your mind?

Sheldon always gets
everything he wants.

I guess he does.

That's not fair, huh?

No!

On the other hand, he's just

going to some science lecture.

I know, but he gets to go
on a plane to California.

Planes aren't all that great.

You can't even smoke
on 'em anymore.

I tell you what,

after practice today,

you and me will do
somethin' fun.

Can I have my first cigarette?

No!

Can I get my ears pierced?

Your mom won't like that.

So, maybe.

(SINGERS VOCALIZING ON RADIO)

All right, 34A and B...
This is us.

All right, you want the
aisle or the window?

Which one is assigned to me?

It doesn't matter,
just pick one.

Well, if I sit by the window,
I can watch the takeoff

and landing,
but if I sit on the aisle,

I'm closer to the bathroom.

Here we go.

Although if I'm by the window,
you'll have

to get up when I use
the bathroom.

But if I'm not,
I'll have

to get up when youuse
the bathroom.

Just pick one.

It's a tricky decision.

My bladder's smaller
than yours...

Everything okay here?

About to be.

Here!
(EXCLAIMS)

Aisle it is! (CHUCKLES)

We're good.

Oh, okay.

You want to help me with this?

No.

Hey!

You're the one who lied to me.

Well, I'm done talkin' to you,
so it'll never happen again.

(KNOCKING)

What?

I know you don't want to talk,
and that's fine.

You can just listen.

(SIGHS) Life is hard enough
if you make good decisions,

but if you make bad ones,
it gets even harder.

Nothin' was gonna happen
with Jana.

Georgie... No!

You always assume
the worst with me.

I'm sorry you were a perfect kid
and I'm just a screwup.

You are not a screwup.

(SIGHS)

And I was not a perfect kid.

Oh, what'd you do, sleep
through church one mornin'?

For your information...

I used to skip class...

so that I could

drink beer

in my boyfriend's truck.

Dad had a truck back then?

Not talkin' about your dad.

Whoa.

I also...

stole your meemaw's car

and crashed it into a ditch.

Really?

With that boyfriend
who wasn't Dad?

Missin' the point!
If the point is

you made some bad decisions
and turned out fine,

then why you being
so hard on me?

Because some decisions
you cannot walk away from

and they will affect
the rest of your life.

If you're talkin' about
Jana getting pregnant,

she ain't gonna.

That is what I thought,
and the next thing I know,

I'm at the courthouse
gettin' married.

You got married

because you were pregnant?

Yes.

So, I was a mistake?

No! No!

(GROANS)

You are a blessin'.

The mistake

was lyin' to my parents,
so that I could spend

the night at your dad's house.

And, you know, tequila.

Ladies and gentlemen,
this is your captain speaking.

We're expecting a smooth
flight to Los Angeles.

Before we take off,
please direct your attention

to the flight attendants
as they review

some important
safety procedures.

"Safety procedures"?
Oh, baby.

FLIGHT ATTENDANT:
Take a minute to locate

the exit closest to you.

The nearest exit
could be behind you.

Should the cabin experience

sudden pressure loss,
oxygen masks will

drop down
from above your seat...

Why would the cabin
lose pressure?

It won't.Place the mask over
your mouth and nose,

like this, pull the strap
to tighten it.

If you are traveling with
children, make sure that your

own mask is on first
before helping your child...

I don't like this at all.

It's just a precaution.

You know... perfectly safe.

FLIGHT ATTENDANT:
In the unlikely event

of a water landing
and evacuation... (HEART BEATING)

(ECHOING): Water landing, water
landing, water landing...

I can't do this.

(BUCKLE CLICKING)

Keep going,
we'll be right back.

Uh, sir?!

Sheldon, come out of there! No!

At least open the door.

Tell them I need to get off.

FLIGHT ATTENDANT: Sir?

You both need
to return to your seats.

Just one second.

Sir. Sir...

If you want to see
Stephen Hawking,

we have to sit down right now.

It's too dangerous. I can't!
It's okay to be scared.

Sir? Th-That's when you got
to dig deep and be brave.

(POUNDING ON DOOR)
So, what do you say?

No, I'm your terrified
little boy!

Okay.
(POUNDING ON DOOR)

Sir, please, they're
gonna call security!

Just one more second.

Mr. Spock!

He flies around all the time
in that spaceship.

He's not afraid, is he?

I'm not Mr. Spock.

No, but-but I've seen you
pretend to be him.

Could you do that right now?

You be Spock, I'll be Kirk.

(SIGHS) Maybe.

Okay, Mr. Spock.

Your first order
is to return to your seat.

Aye, Captain.

CAPTAIN: Flight attendants,
prepare for takeoff.

You okay, Mr. Spock?

Doing my best, sir.

(ENGINES ROAR)

The captain and Mr. Spock
don't hold hands.

Sorry.

Okay, maybe just this once.

(STAR TREKTHEME PLAYING)

I think we've been lied to
about California.

No one on this campus
is tan at all.

No, they are not.

Imagine all the stimulating
conversations

that must go on at these tables.

I bet.

I can see myself
going here one day.

I think you'd fit right in.