Young Sheldon (2017–…): Season 3, Episode 1 - Quirky Eggheads and Texas Snow Globes - full transcript

After Dr. Sturgis experiences a nervous breakdown, Mary worries Sheldon is headed down a similar path; Georgie discovers he has a knack for sales.

ADULT SHELDON: Some people are just

natural-born worriers.

My mother, for example,

could whip herself into a frenzy

even if I were sitting
on my bed doing nothing.



Everything okay?

Hunky-dory. Why?

Well, you're kind of dressed
like you kidnapped yourself.

Oh, I'm trying to
block out sensory input.

I hit a roadblock determining

whether virtual particles
have a fixed mass

or violate momentum conservation.

But then I remembered
that Nikola Tesla believed

that isolation is where ideas are born.

Who's Nikola Tesla?

One of the most prolific
scientists of the 20th century.


And, um...

just out of curiosity,

how isolated was he?

Oh, highly.

He found human contact revolting.


Well, that's kind of a lonely
way to live, don't you think?

Well, he wasn't entirely alone.

At the end of his life,
he became good friends

with a brown pigeon.


See ya.


♪ Nobody else is stronger than I am ♪

♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain ♪

♪ I bet I could be your hero ♪

♪ I am a mighty little man

Have you heard from Dr. Sturgis at all?


Can you believe the hospital's

still holding him for observation?

Can't you?


I think I just felt a neutrino.

That one went right through my pants.

You have goosegrass.

And you can't have a nice lawn

if you have goosegrass.


I mean, I'm worried about him.

I don't know how serious this is.

The whole year you were together...

did you see any, um...

warning signs?

No. Not really.

I just thought he was another...

[CHUCKLES]: you know,

cute, quirky egghead like Sheldon.

Speaking of which,

when are you gonna tell
Sheldon the truth about John?

Mm. When the time is right.

So he still thinks he's
being treated for mono?

I had to come up with
something contagious

so he wouldn't want to visit.


Thank you.

You're good at lying.

You should do it more often.

I like your earrings.

he's gonna be trapped!

All right, see, when you get
tackled in your own end zone,

the other team gets
two points and the ball.

That's called a safety.

I thought one of the
players was a safety.

Well, that's true, too.

I'm confused.

Now you know how I feel when you talk

about Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

What's confusing?

Everything you need to
know is in the title.


How would you like to be rich?

Go away.

Aren't you even a little curious?

Does it involve me giving you money?

Yeah, but then I give
you more money back.

How much more?

Way more.

You got to get in on this.

[SIGHS] Thanks. I'm not interested.

You're gonna regret it.

Show me.

Texas snow globes.


- The card store

on Magnolia is going out of business.

They're selling these
for one dollar each.

I sell 'em for five,
and the money rolls in.

Does it worry you that the
store selling these things

is going out of business?

You have no vision.

Can I get back to the game?

Fine. I don't need your money.

I have my own.

Then why are we having
this conversation?

'Cause I'd rather lose
your money than mine.



ADULT SHELDON: I've always felt the
world of subatomic particles

would make an excellent video game.

Uh, fortunately, thanks to my brain,

I've been playing it for years.

You cheeky little muon,

you know you don't belong there.

Don't look at me. He's your kid.

♪ ♪



♪ Now I know that I find it ♪

♪ Hard to play fair ♪

♪ But somehow I wonder ♪

♪ If you... ♪

Someone likes snow globes.

I hope so. I don't want 'em.


What do we got here?

Farmhouse Kitchen.


Garfield Hangs Out.


The Complete Guide to
Your Child's Mental...

Oh, look, that cute little book
light... I'll get that, too.

- Okay.

You still want the
crazy kid book, right?




52 Texas snow globes

comes to...


Can't you do any better?

What do you mean?

You're going out of business

and I'm buying 'em all.

Give me a break.

Okay, $50.


- $40.
- $35.

- Deal.
- No, wait.




♪ ♪

- George.


Hey, that's clever.

I'm reading this book
about mental problems,

and I'm worried it sounds like Sheldon.

Well, stop reading the book.

Shelly and Dr. Sturgis
have a lot in common,

and look what happened.

What, you mean like how he went to...

ADULT SHELDON: As a society,
we've made strides

in how we discuss psychological issues.

30 years ago in East Texas,

let's just say we hadn't.

...cuckoo, cuckoo. [BLUBBERS]

- Hey.

That could be your son one day.

[SCOFFS] Honey, just 'cause
they're both super smart

doesn't mean that
they're the same person.

I mean, Sturgis was
in love with your mom,

so clearly he was nuts from the get-go.

You're not helping.

I'm not wrong, either.

Love you.


♪ ♪

Why aren't you also
driving Missy to school?

I thought it might be
nice for us to chat.

About Missy?

She is a bit much, isn't she?

Here's a question for you.

Do you ever see or hear
things that other people can't?

Oh, all the time.

Right now, the car antenna is vibrating

at the same frequency as
the pistons in the motor.

It's quite irritating,
but you know me...

I don't complain.

I meant more like things

that aren't actually there.

Ah, isn't that the fundamental
question of modern metaphysics?

What is actually there?

This is fun.

Missy should ride with Dad more often.

Let me try this a different way.

Um, do you ever feel paranoid,

like people are out to get you?

I'm a ten-year-old in high school...

people are out to get me.

That's fair.

I just think if I was
having these feelings,

that might be scary, right?

I suppose so.

And this is something
that's been concerning you?



A little.

But the important thing
is that we can always talk

about this kind of
thing with each other.

Do you have any books on mental health?

Sure. Why?

I believe my mother is unraveling.

♪ ♪

We have a few books on mental
illness you might find helpful.

This one's a good place to start.

Have you read it?

Read it, lived it,

made the mistake of
talking about it on a date.

Sure. Walk away.

They all do.

♪ ♪

MR. BUSTIFER: Who is it?

Georgie Cooper.


I'm your neighbor.

The one with the chickens?


The ones with that weird, smart kid?

Yeah, that's my brother.

I don't like that kid.

Neither do I, sir.

What do you want?

I was wondering if you'd
like to buy one of th...

You didn't even see what I was selling.


Texas snow globes.

Dang it.


It's pretty.

Why would I want that?

Well, um...

b-b-because it's Texas,

and everybody in Texas loves Texas?

Dang it.

And if you act now,

you can have this beautiful,

limited edition keepsake in your home

for the low, low price
of only five dollars.

I hope you know I'm missing

People's Court right now.

But with Christmas coming,

this would make an
excellent stocking stuffer.

Well, you're my grandson,

and I love you... it hurts me to do this.

Dang it.



Oh, dear.

Oh, no.

Oh, no.

Oh, dear.

Sorry I gave you the boot before.

Does that mean you'll buy one now?


You didn't sell a single snow globe?

Now, don't give your
brother a hard time.

He took some initiative,
and I admire that.

Thank you.

I mean, the snow globes were silly,

but I bet your next idea will be great.

They're not silly.

I'm glad you feel that way,
'cause you got 50 of them.

I'm gonna sell them all
just to prove you wrong.

Well, now I know

it's a peeing contest
between you and your daddy,

I'll take two. [CHUCKLES]

Well, all right.

Mom, you're not crazy about Dad.

- Want to buy a snow globe?
- Enough.

And I don't like us
making fun of each other.

We're family and this should
be a place that is safe,

where we can talk about anything.

I agree.

Now, let's just say grace.


Thank you, God,

for this food we are about to receive,

and bless the hands that prepared it.

And please keep us all in good health,

body and mind.

Why are you looking at me?

- I'm not. Amen.
- OTHERS: Amen.

[QUIETLY]: Hello?

Oh, baby.

What are you doing up?

I couldn't sleep.

Why are you up?


Do you have insomnia from anxiety?

Is that what you have?


What are you anxious about?

Honestly, your mental health.

Me? Why?

Well, you seem preoccupied lately,

and you were asking me all
those questions in the car.

I was just letting you know that
if you were having any problems

you could come to me with them.

You think I have mental problems?

Well, not problems.

I'm just worried about your future,

and when I see you moving...

subatomic particles around
in the air, that makes...

Subatomic particles are real!

You talk to an invisible man in the sky

who grants wishes.

If anyone's mental, it's you.

Okay, now you are over the line.

- You apologize.
- No!

What the hell's going on?

Nothing. It's fine.

Mom thinks that I'm crazy.

I thought we weren't supposed
to say stuff like that.


- Yes?
- Is it okay

if I use a knife to butter my toast,

or are you worried I'll
do something crazy with it?

- You can butter your own toast.
- Oh, good.

You see the toast, too.

I was afraid I was imagining it.

- Sheldon...
- GEORGE SR.: All right,

that's enough.

What's going on?

Nothing's going on. Everything's fine.

I'll tell you later.

My mother believes
I'm mentally unstable.

And since there's a genetic
component and I'm her child,

I suppose it's possible.

MARY: I know you're angry right now,

but you will not be disrespectful.

You know, fits of rage are
a classic sign of psychosis.

Oh, you haven't seen fits of rage yet!

I said that's enough!

Both of y'all are acting like lunatics.

You up to speed?

I think I got it.

♪ ♪


I already accepted Jesus in my heart.

No. I'm selling these Texas snow globes.

I have enough crap in my house.


You love Texas, right?

[SIGHS]: Well, sure.

And who doesn't like snow?

Sleds and snowball fights.

I remember it snowed hard here once

when I was a kid.

That must have been amazing.

It was. They cancelled school.

Me and my brother built a
snow fort in the backyard.

- That's cool.
- Mm.

My brother and I love
doing stuff together.

We're really close.

I hadn't thought about
that day in a long time.


what if that memory...

was just one shake away?

How much?

Five dollars.

Fine. I'll take it.

How about you get one for your brother?

I don't know.

He married some Yankee gal
and moved to Connecticut.

But he's still your brother.

Aw, what the hell.

She's gonna leave him at some point.


SHELDON: I don't see the point of this.

I just don't think it could
hurt for us to talk to someone.

But I could be home right now

wearing a blindfold,
mittens and nose plug

- doing something important.
- You know what?

Maybe you should mention

the blindfold and mittens to the doctor.

Or maybe I'll mention how you
think that God speaks to you,

because I find that concerning.

He does speak to me,
and right now he's saying

I should wash your mouth out with soap.

Violent fantasies.


♪ ♪

♪ Salesman, where you gonna go sell ♪

♪ All of your goods today? ♪

Mrs. Ebner, do you remember

where you were

the last time it snowed in Medford?

[LAUGHS]: We didn't have a
carrot for the snowman's nose,

so can you believe we used a hot dog?

That must have been a sight.

I was with my grandchildren.

They had never seen snow before.

I taught 'em to make snow angels.

Little angels making little angels.

- You can't put a price on memories.
- Mm.

But I am running a
special: two for eight.


Hey, little princess.

This is called "snow."

She likes it.

♪ You always wear a smile ♪

♪ You love it fast mand you live wild ♪

♪ Salesman... ♪ naturally I was concerned

about his well-being and was keeping

an eye on him just to be safe.

It's called being neurotic.

It's called being a good mother.

This is healthy.

Communication is the cornerstone...

I am behaving no
differently than I ever have.

Why are you suddenly
so worried about me?

That is a valid question.

Has anything changed recently?


Maybe it's hormonal.

When does menopause typically begin?

It is not my hormones.

Well, it certainly isn't mine.

I'm showing no signs of puberty.


You know, sometimes mothers look
for issues with their children

- so they can feel more needed.
- Okay,

now we're getting somewhere.

That is not what's happening.

Well, then what is happening?


Baby, there's something
I need to tell you.

Dr. Sturgis is not in
the kind of hospital

you think he is.

What kind of hospital is he in?

The psychiatric kind.

Why? What's going on?

He was having some issues,

but he's getting the help he needs,

and I'm sure he's gonna be fine.

And you think since he
and I are both gifted,

I'm going to end up like him?

Well, it... [SIGHS] crossed my mind.

Sheldon, you're my baby.

It is my job to worry about you.

I can't help it.

I'm sorry I cause you so much concern.

I'm not.


See how valuable a little
communication can be?

You do not take credit for this.

♪ ♪

MISSY: And the turtle

eating the pizza is Leonardo.

How can you tell?

He's wearing blue.

And he's the hot one.


Dad, remember my silly idea?


Guess what?

It's snowing.

♪ ♪

♪ Snow ♪

♪ Snow ♪

♪ Snow, snow ♪

♪ Snow ♪

♪ Snow, snow ♪

♪ Snow, snow, snow, snow ♪

♪ Snow, ching, ching,
ching, ching, ching, ching. ♪