Young Sheldon (2017–…): Season 2, Episode 9 - Family Dynamics and a Red Fiero - full transcript

Sheldon studies his family a psychology project; a Thanksgiving dinner turns into a family fight when Georgie Sr. is offered a job Oklahoma.

In tenth grade,
high school students

are presented with picking
a class of their own choosing.

This is called an elective.

Courses on offer
included wood shop...

I'm happy with ten fingers, thank you.

Introduction to agriculture...

I think you know
the answer to that.


I'd rather milk that cow.

All of which led me to the
elective I reluctantly chose...

Psychology 101, an investigation

into why people think and
feel the way they do. Ugh.

All right, with Thanksgiving
weekend approaching,

it's the perfect opportunity to observe

family dynamics and how
our parents, relatives

and siblings affect us.

Now, the...

Yes, Sheldon.

I don't find that interesting.

Well, tough knuckles,
that's the assignment.

Now, you'll all be expected
to collect data on your family,

form a hypothesis,
and make a prediction.

So you're giving us
homework for Thanksgiving?


Oh, boy!

Synced & corrected by MaxPayne
== ==

Hey, listen, something came up today

that we need to talk about.
What's that?

I maybe have a shot
at a better job.

Oh, George, they're finally
gonna make you head coach?

Better than that.

Special Teams Coach,
University of Tulsa.

In Oklahoma?

That is where they're keeping
Tulsa these days.

No need to be lippy.

You're not seriously
thinking about moving

this whole family to Oklahoma, are you?

It's 400 miles away,
I wasn't gonna commute.

Well, that's not gonna work.

The kids are all settled in
with school and friends,

and I've got my job at the church,

and then there's Mom.

Am I supposed to just
walk away from her?

No, what you're supposed to do

is support my efforts
to improve our life.

Notes for psychology paper.

What you doing?

Shh. Family conflict has been observed.

Subject M and Subject D have
opposing views on relocating.

You better not be recording
over my Janet Jackson tape.

Would you please?

Who's Subject M and Subject D?

I can't tell you that,
you might skew the results.

Okay, then tell me
what skew means.

Are you going to talk
the whole time?

It seems to be annoying you,
so, yeah.

Mary, I just can't thank you
enough for inviting me today.

You're very welcome, John.
Love having you here.

Last Thanksgiving, I just sat
in my apartment all by myself

and ate a turkey sandwich.

That is so sad.

Well, it wasn't at the time,

but now that I have something
to compare it to,

I realize
what a pathetic loser I was.

You were never a loser.

Yeah, you were.

Hey, Georgie,

you have any sentimental
attachment to this town?

I don't know, why?
I'm just curious if,

you know, we ever did
pick up and live somewhere else,

how you'd feel about it.

Well, if it was Hawaii,
I'd feel pretty great.

That's where they make Magnum, P.I.

I don't think Hawaii's in the cards.

How about Miami?

Let me guess,
'cause of Miami Vice?

Golden Girls.



I saw this one

where Blanche dates
this little guy

who breaks up with her 'cause
she's not Jewish. So good.

Forget about Miami
and Hawaii and Blanche.

I mean, how do you feel about
not staying in Medford forever?

Well, I guess
I'd be okay with it.

All right.

Good to know.

Subject D is attempting
to influence Subject G

regarding relocating.

What about you, Sheldon?

What about me what?

Could you ever see yourself
leaving Medford?

I'm sorry, Dad,
but I'm unable to express

an opinion at this time.

Why not?

In the interest of science,

I have to remain
a neutral observer.

Glad I asked.

Hey, fellows, may I join?

Sure. Here you go.

Dang, nice catch.


Listen, I'm gonna need
your help with something.

Is it about money?

Then I'm your gal.
What's up?

George is up for a coaching job
at the University of Tulsa.

Tulsa? Ugh.

Last year, I lost $800
on that damn team.

I'm sorry to hear that.

I'm fine with most of the Division I stuff,

but these independent teams,

I j... I just can't seem
to get a handle on it.

You think if George got that job
he might give me an inside line?


Well, I'd cut him in,

make it look like
a Christmas present.

Would you please listen to me?

If we move up there,

other than holidays,

you're not gonna
see your grandkids.

Oh, that's a point.

You make it sound like
a Sophie's Choicekind of deal.

During dinner,
maybe you could express

how devastating it would be
to be away from the kids.

Well, I don't think I'd use
the word "devastating."

That doesn't sound like me.

Okay, well,
use whatever word you want.

I might use... "heartbroken."

Good, use that.

Yeah, maybe.
Have you got a thesaurus?

Oh, dear.

Don't be scared, Sheldon,
it's just a parade.

I already don't like dogs.

Gigantic and floating
does not help.

- Hey, how's the parade?
- Great.

Alf is one of the hosts.

Alf, cool. Hey, so listen,

how attached are you
to living here in Medford?

I don't know what that means.

If we moved away,

do you have really good friends
that you'd miss a lot?

I have really good friends,

but I think they would mostly miss me.

'Cause you make friends
wherever you go.

I do.
People are drawn to me.


Sorry, I'm neutral.

Okay, so what I'm hearing is that

you'd be happy no matter
where we lived.

I guess. Dad, please,
I'm trying to watch TV.

Sorry. I'll leave you to it.

Oh dear, Big Bird.

You're making a sandwich?

I'm a creature of habit.

Hey, why don't we all
go around the table

and say what we're thankful for?

Come on, really?

Yes, really.

I'll start.

I'm thankful to be surrounded
by my loving family.

What about that guy?

That guy...
Dr. Sturgis...

Is part of our extended family.

Mm, thank you.

And I'm also thankful
for this warm and comfy home

that God has blessed us with
and this great neighborhood

with my mom living

right across the street,

and of course our excellent

school system that
provides our children

with a world-class education.


I'm thankful that there's two
different Ghostbustercartoons.

That's it?

Unless you know
about a third one.

Okay, my turn.

Um, I am so thankful
to be able to watch

my grandchildren grow up.

And I can't even tell you

how much it means to me

that y'all live right across the street.

And if y'all weren't,

I would just be... heartbroken.

And not just heartbroken...

Crestfallen and chagrined.

And, uh,

I'm also thankful for my health,

that that mole on my hip
turned out to be nothing,

and, uh,

I'm very thankful for John here,

who has

brought so much happiness to me.

That's it for me.

Oh, my.
Aw, lovely, Mom.

Oh, my, I don't know
where to begin.

Well, first of all,
I'm thankful to you, Connie,

for how you make me laugh,
make me feel cared for,

all the ways you're
affectionate to me

that I can't discuss
in-in front of children

because that would be
inappropriate, right?


And I'm thankful to be here

with your wonderful family.

This is something I didn't
experience growing up.

See, my father was away
a great deal on business

and it was just me and my mother

and she was a cold
and distant woman

who blamed the world
for her club foot.

And I...

Wrap it up.


My gratitude knows no bounds.

Thank you.

Um, I'm thankful for my job

at the auto shop.

Uh, let's see...

Oh, Alyssa Milano
from Who's the Boss?

She's really hot.
Mm... That's about it.

That's wonderful. Shelly?

I'm sorry, Mom, but if
I answer that question,

I'd be violating
my experimental protocol.

Okay, moving on. George?


I'm thankful to share
Thanksgiving dinner

with my family, of course.

I'm also thankful for this
fine country we live in

and all the opportunities
it provides us.

Especially when those opportunities

come once in a lifetime
and require taking a small risk

and believing in one another.

We're really gonna do this now?

Hey, you started it with
all that school system crap.

I only did that because you've been

trying to twist
the kids' heads around.

All right, who talked?

Who do you think?


Well, it doesn't matter
because you obviously

went to your mother and made her
your stalking horse.

Of course she went to me.

Move to Oklahoma,
what's wrong with you?

Wait, we're moving to Oklahoma?

I thought Texans
don't like Oklahoma.

You're damn right we don't.

What's wrong with Oklahoma?
I'll tell you later.

Okay, that's enough of this.
Nobody's moving anywhere.

Let's just have
a nice, quiet dinner.

That's it? Y-You're gonna
make the decision for me?

I'm making a decision for us.

All right, then.

Where are you going?



As we sat in silence,

I had a horrible realization.

For the first time in my life,

I didn't look forward
to doing my homework.

Just watch the TV.

Second down, nine...

Difficult day.


Is that a new interest of yours?

It was either this or milking cows.

I once was licked by a cow.

You made the right choice.

I'm not so sure.

Why is that?

Well, I was supposed
to observe family dynamics

over Thanksgiving for my hypothesis,

then make a prediction.

Oh. All right.

So, um, what did you observe?

My mom and dad arguing
over moving to Oklahoma

for my dad's job.

I would concur with
that observation.

Now, can you form a
hypothesis based on that?

Well, their marriage
is a zero sum game.

What's good for my father

isn't good for my mother
and vice versa.


And your prediction?

Well, based on
previous arguments

I've observed,
my father will try

to reassert his dominance

by making a meaningless
symbolic gesture.

Really? That seems
a bit of a stretch.

I will never question you again.

Are you insane?

We can't afford a Ferrari.

It's a Fiero.

Ferrari, Fiero, same thing.

Not really.

Now, do you mind?
I'm trying to watch the game.

Everybody's going to Meemaw's.
Come on.

Leave that tin can...

It's not like we haven't

heard them fight before. Just keep moving.

Are we sleeping there?
Do I need to bring pajamas?

Just sleep in your underwear.

In my underwear?

I hardly think so.

Wait, I forgot something.

Just so you know, you're
sleeping out here tonight.

Perfect, then I won't
have to move.

I just want to thank you
for a lovely dinner.

Come on!


Come on!

You kids excited to go back to school?

Of course I am.

He doesn't speak for me.

What are you doing?

Having coffee.

Uh, no, not in my house.

Oh, come on,
the best part of waking up

is Folgers in your cup.

Put it down.

I can't drink coffee,

I can't chew tobacco,
is there anything I can do?

Yeah, quit talking.

Where's Dad?

He went to Oklahoma
for that job interview.

I thought you put your
foot down on that one.

Just keep eating your breakfast.

You really think
we might move there?

I don't know what to think.

Spending the Thanksgiving weekend

working in my family's
convenience store,

I observed my father
and mother working

from 6:00 in the morning
till 10:00 at night.

My hypothesis was that
economic advancement

for immigrant families is more
important than celebrating

a holiday where people eat
until they pass out

in front of the TV.

All right, Tam.

Well, based on your
observations and hypothesis,

were you able to
make a prediction?

Yes. At some point,
my father would die

prematurely from stress.

And my mother
will come live with me,

where she will constantly disapprove

of my hot, blonde,
American wife.

Okay. Uh, I think we all
learned something there.

Uh, thank you, Tam.

Uh, Mr. Cooper, you're up.

Beginning on Wednesday night,
I observed my parents

arguing over the possibility
of us moving to Tulsa, Oklahoma.

Ugh, Oklahoma.

The argument escalated
and then my father stormed out

and bought a Fiero.

And then I went to my Meemaw's

and slept in my underwear!

That's it; I've wasted my life.

You want to tell me
what happened?

Instead of remaining
a neutral observer,

I got emotional in front
of the whole class.

Well, that's not a big deal.

Yes, it is; I'm a scientist.

You never hear about Newton
crying like a baby

when he got brutalized
by an apple.

I think you're being
a little tough on yourself.

I wonder why this
is affecting me so much.

Well, maybe it has something
to do with your parents arguing.

Us moving?
I don't think so.

Texas, Oklahoma...
what's the difference?

Hey, now, I think you
might want to crack open

your psychology textbook
'cause that there is crazy talk.

I did read a chapter
on repressing emotions.

I suppose I could've been
doing that to avoid dealing

with the fear of change,

and moving would certainly
be a big change.

That's very astute. I'd have a new room,

in a new house,

and the new house would probably
have a different smell,

and I probably
wouldn't like that smell

because I don't like new smells,

and I'd be going to a new school
with new kids and new teachers,

and I bet they'd all
smell different, as well.

Okay, now calm down.

That's easy for you to say.

Your olfactory senses
aren't about to be assaulted

by the state of Oklahoma.

Okay, let's try
a different approach.

Can I take you
to get some ice cream?

I'm having an emotional
crisis, Meemaw!

You can't fix that
with ice cream.

Right. Sorry.

You want to go to Radio Shack?

Yes, I want to go to Radio Shack!

Well, sir, that's the tour.

What do you think,
nicer than East Texas?

Very impressive.

Not sure how you did it,

but that is the least disgusting
locker room I've ever been in.

Yes, sir.

Every bit of it's brand, spanking new.

I bet if you had to, you could
even eat lunch in there.

So what do you say, George?

I could sure use a man
with your track record

to coach special teams. Please.

Thank you.
I got to say, I'm real tempted.

How does the family feel
about relocating?

Oh, they're all pretty excited
about the opportunity.

The kids see it as an adventure.

So why am I feeling like
you got some hesitation?

If it's about the money,

I believe I can get you
some more money.

No, no, no, the money's good.

Well, that's it, then.
You're gonna fit in perfectly

with our program here.

We got a lovely little house
for you and your family,

and best of all,

you're gonna be out of Texas.

I thought you started out
in Houston?

Shh. I'm trying
to fit in around here.

So we have a deal?

What happened?

Can I take my coat off?

No. What happened?

I turned it down.


'Cause you're afraid of Mom?

'Cause I don't want to live
in Oklahoma.


What difference
does it make, Mare?

We're not moving.

As a child, I never understood

the sacrifices my father made
for his family's happiness,

which made me somewhat
less compassionate

than I should've been.

Yay! We're not moving!

We're staying in Texas!

- John?
- Yes?

Could we do it just one more time?

I don't want you to get tired of it.

I won't. Please?

Well, I can't say no to you.

Fire in the hole.


Again, again.