Young Sheldon (2017–…): Season 2, Episode 15 - A Math Emergency and Perky Palms - full transcript

Sheldon and Dr. Sturgis have their first fight when Dr. Sturgis marks an answer wrong on Sheldon's test; Mary takes over for Pastor Jeff when he's out sick.

It should come as no surprise

that the very first grade
I ever received

was a "super-duper."

Granted it was for
counting spots on a ladybug,

but still, I nailed it.

Even as the difficulty
of assignments grew,

I maintained the same level
of excellence.

Good job, Cooper.

That's just sad, Cooper.

In every class,
in every subject,

I was perfect.

Which is why this day hit me
like a ton of bricks.

Hey, moonpie.

Ready to go?

Look at this.

That's terrific.

No. If it was terrific,
it would say 100

with the word "terrific" next to it.

Don't sweat it,
you'll get 100 next time.

But I should have gotten it this time.

Dr. Sturgis made a mistake.

And we're sweatin' it.

Dr. Sturgis, I believe you've
made an error grading my test.

Let me see.

No, you didn't calculate
using Maxwell's equations.

Maxwell's equation
my sweet patootie!

You like Willie Nelson?

That would require
knowing the permeability

of free space and natural units.

I suppose...

I like Willie Nelson. electric field,
but that would still require...

Synced & corrected by MaxPayne
== ==

Morning, Peg.

I need to run Sunday's bulletin

by Pastor Jeff. Is he in?


Is he coming down with somethin'?


Oh, my, are you sick, too?

Never better.



Oh, hey, Mary, come on in.

I-I'm fine here.

Um, I have Sunday's bulletin

for your approval.
And I wanted to ask about

ordering the palms for Palm Sunday.

I know it's early, but as
you remember last year,

we waited too long and
First United Methodist

snatched up all the perky ones.


Should you be here right now?
You look terrible.

I feel terrible.

Well, then go home,
let your wife take care of you.

You'd think she'd do that, but no.

Ooh. Well, you should
at least go see a doctor.

I can't. The Walker couple
is coming in for counseling.

If you rescheduled,
I'm sure they'd understand.

Hey, what if you did it?

Marriage counseling?

Don't you need some sort
of training for that?

Nah, you just listen, uh,

give 'em a couple prayers,
send 'em on their way.

Okay, if you really want me to.
I do.

In fact, for the rest of the day,
you're in charge.

All right?
The bulletins, the palms, it's all you.

Well, all right, um,

but only if you promise to
go home and get some rest.

Sure. Home, movie theater,
food court, somewhere.

Today we're gonna work on
interior angles

of a convex polygon.

Georgie, where's your brother?

I don't know,
do you really want him here?

Convex polygons are polygons...

Sheldon, why aren't you
in second period?

I'm working on this math problem.

I think you might be the
first person in history

who's ever cut class to do math.

The irony wasn't lost on me.

Oh, hey, 95. Good job.

I'm here every day

and it's like you don't know me at all.

Oh, okay. Um...

aw, 95, too bad.

There we go.

Anything you can tell
me about the Walkers?

Not really, just a couple of newlyweds

trying to figure it out.

Well, marriage is hard.

I'll never know.Oh...

don't think that way.

I'm sure there's someone
out there for you.

Oh, no, that's not the problem.

I just don't want to waste this
on just one guy.

Sorry we're late.

Someone couldn't decide on a hat.

Sorry. Oh, that's all right.

Hi, I'm Mary Cooper, I'm gonna
be doing your session today.

Oh, what happened to Pastor Jeff?

He's out sick and asked me
to fill in.

Oh, okay. But don't worry,

you're in good hands.
I've been married for 15 years

and whatever you're going through,

I'm sure I've been through it
several times.


I dig your hat.

So when we first started dating,

he would plan these elaborate
picnics by the lake...

You know, like a real picnic
with the red and white blanket.

Oh, gingham, sweetie, it's called gingham.

And after you got married,
all the picnics and wooing ended?

No, no, not at all. No.

In fact, Elliot's more dotin'
than ever.

He knows that tulips
are my favorite,

so every week there's
a fresh-cut bouquet

on my nightstand.

I own the flower shop
across from the post office.

Well, y'all seem hunky-dory.

I'm confused, what's the issue?

Well, um, we're having trouble
in the, you know...

The bedroom.


Sheldon, what are you
doing here?

They wouldn't let me use the
phone in the principal's office.

Who are you calling?

Dr. Sturgis...
It's a math emergency.

Don't you think

you should've asked
my permission first?

It's ringing.
Yes or no?

You know what?
I don't care.


Dr. Sturgis, this is Sheldon.
You're wrong and I can prove it.

Is that so?

It is so.

All right, little man, bring it on.

Go ahead, Sheldon, I'm all ears.

Well, when I'm done,
you're going to be all tears.

Okay, fellas,
let's keep it civil.

You claim that the only way to
calculate the magnetic field

in QCD units is using
Maxwell's equations,

but you're completely
discrediting energy density.

But you're still off.

By a factor of 3.54.

Which would seem insignificant,

but when examined closely,

you realize that it's the
square root of four times pi.

Your point being?

Rationalized and non-rationalized units

differ by four times pi...

Anyone with a basic knowledge
of electric

and magnetic fields
would know that.

I'm lost.
Are we still being civil?

It's all right, Connie.

Sheldon's trying to justify
his shortcut.

Not a shortcut,

a more elegant and efficient method

to achieve the correct answer.

Well, I applaud the effort,
young man.

Don't treat me like a child,
treat me like a colleague.

Fine. This is the stupidest
thing I've ever seen.

How could you say that?!

What are you doing?

Treating him like a colleague.

Do you and your colleagues
make each other

run out of the room crying like that?


But we run slower,
'cause we're old.

And then he said,
"For the rest of the day,

- you're in charge."
- Mm.

Those were his exact words.
Can you believe it?

"You're in charge."

- Well, that's great.
- And thanks to me,

this year United Methodist
is gonna get stuck

with all the limp palms.

Well, I don't know what
that means, but good for you.

I even did some
marriage counseling

for a couple of young newlyweds.

Ooh, what kind of trouble
they having?

Oh, it's all confidential;
I really can't say.

Well, I don't need specifics,

just, you know, general terms.

They're having sexual problems.



But we all prayed on it

and then the answer came
clear as a bell.


The husband is under
a lot of stress at work

and it's diminishing
his natural desires.

Huh. What kind of work
does he do

he's got so much stress?

He owns that flower shop
across from the post office.

Flower shop. Huh.

You've seen it.
It's called The Pretty Petunia.


So, Sheldon,

you and Dr. Sturgis figure out

your math emergency?

I'd rather not talk about it.

Me neither.

That's probably for me.

I'm really getting popular.

What's a math emergency?

That's when things don't add up.


Oh, come on, guys,
that was a good one.

Mom, it's Pastor Jeff!

Mm, excuse me.

To answer your question, Georgie,

it's when a scientist
is too immature

to admit when he's wrong.

Maybe you're too immature.

Gentlemen, please.

I'm sorry, but when someone
with way less experience

accuses me of not knowing

what I'm talking about,
my hackles are up.

What's a hackle?

Well, if he's wrong,
then teach him to be right

instead of berating him
like a big ol' jackass.

That's very hurtful!

Well, how 'bout that?

They do run slower.

Good news! I get to go
visit a shut-in.

What the hell is going on today?

It's open.

What's up, Schultz?

Are you asking me?

Haven't you learned that I know
nothing, I see nothing...

Hello? Mr. Gilford?

Who are you?

Hi, I'm Mary Cooper
from the church.

Pastor Jeff is out sick,

so he asked me
to bring over your dinner.

Steak fingers?
With extra gravy.

Where's my Mr. Pibb?

Oh, right here.

You want me to open it for you?

I've got hands.

Maybe while you eat
we could chat a little.

I'm old, I'm alone,
I'm gonna die soon.

There, we've chatted.

If you're not in the mood
for conversation,

maybe there's something else
I could do for you.

Haven't had a sponge bath in a while.

Does Pastor Jeff give you a sponge bath?

Sure does.

Mr. Gilford.


Lights out?
In a minute.

I may not understand
exactly what's going on

with you and Dr. Sturgis, but
you can't be rude to an adult.

What if they're wrong?

Doesn't matter. There are plenty
of stupid people in the world,

but when they're older than you,
you got to show them respect.

I understand, sir. Thank you
for your incredibly wise advice.


Did you just call Dad stupid
without calling him stupid?


Here, let me get that.

And, uh, while I'm cleaning up,

I could also tackle
some of, um...

Don't touch anything!
I like it the way it is.

Could I at least open a window,
get you some fresh air?

It's not necessary.
I've got some right here.

Mind if I make some room to sit?

You're staying?

Yes, I'm staying.
I'm here to keep you company.

Why? So you'll look like
some kind of Good Samaritan?

Because God calls on us
to serve our fellow man.

Romans 12:13, "Share with
the Lord's people who are..."

What are you doing?
Quoting scripture.

Well, I don't want to hear that.

You don't want to hear the Bible?

Not from some woman.

Excuse me?
Where have you been?

Women don't preach in our church.

Well, I'm not in our church,
I'm in your living room,

which is, by the way, disgusting.

I'm sorry I called you a jackass.

A "big, old jackass."

But it's okay, I deserved it.

Don't be too hard on yourself.

Sheldon's always been
difficult to deal with.

I'm not upset that he's difficult,

I'm upset that he's right.


And you're just now
saying something?

Energy density, rationalized
and non-rationalized units,

I can't believe I missed it.

Well, like you said,
everybody makes a mistake.

But it was so obvious.

A younger me would've seen it.

I think I'm losing a step.

You're not alone.

The other night I had bingo for
five moves, didn't even know it.

Were you drinking?

It's bingo, of course I was drinking.

Don't worry about it.

We'll lose a step together.

Thank you, Bonnie.

You see that?
I made a joke about it.

- Never do it again.
- Yes, ma'am.

- Hey, Sheldon.
- Hello.

You get that test problem
sorted out?

No, I'm afraid Dr. Sturgis and I
are still at a math impasse.

Oh, I hate those.
Thank you for asking.

I appreciate it.
And how are you doing?

Since when are you interested?

My father told me I should be
kind to old people.

How old do you think I am?

My father also told me
if a woman ever asks you that,

it's a trap.

Smart man.

But I'll say 53.

Peg, we got any more of those
fancy binder clips?

Bottom right drawer.

Oh! Um, hi.


You're back. Uh, feeling better?


Then what are you doing here?
Why aren't you home in bed?

Because not everybody has
a happy marriage, Mary, okay?


How's everything going around here?

Really well. I had a lovely
session with the Walkers.

I think that they're gonna be
fruitful and multiplying soon.

And, um,

I had a visit with our shut-in,
Mr. Gilford.

He's quite the character,
isn't he?

That's a nice way to put it.
Yeah, well, you got to

give him a pass,
what with all he's been through.

What's he been through?

Mary, that man sitting all alone
in that mess of a house

is a genuine war hero.

People like you and me'll never
understand what he went through.

I didn't know.

Well, he sure won't talk about
it. He give you a hard time?

Yeah, and-and I kind of
gave him one right back.

Would you mind if I
went back over there

and gave it another go?

By all means. I got to lay down.

Hey, Peg, if my wife
calls, tell her...

You know what, oh,
she's not gonna call.

Never mind.

Mr. Gilford,
it's Mary Cooper again.

Mr. Gilford?

Mr. Gilford?

You a relative?


I was trying.

Okay, well, sorry.
Coroner's on his way.

Thank you.

This is some mess, huh?

It's how he liked it.

May I come in?

I guess.

I looked over your
work again and, uh,

the math was correct.


You were right...

and I was, uh, wrong.

Sorry I doubted you.

Wow. It must be really hard
for you to admit that.

Well, yes.

But, uh, I thought it could be
a learning opportunity for you.

What do you mean?

I wanted to show you
that being wrong

is not the end of the world.

Oh, okay. Thank you.

Dr. Sturgis
was a wise man.

It was a learning opportunity.

And when the day comes
that I'm wrong,

I fully plan to admit it.

Okay, before we finish up,
I'd like to call up Mary Cooper,

who has a few words
she'd like to say.

Thank you, Pastor Jeff.

As some of you might know,

we lost a member
of our congregation.

James Gilford passed away
earlier this week.

If that name isn't familiar to you,

don't feel bad, it wasn't to me either.

But in the last few days,

I've gotten to learn
a little bit about him.

He was married to his wife,
Meredith, for over 45 years,

he was a lieutenant in the Army,

and, forgive him for this,

a big fan of the Dallas Cowboys.

But even if you didn't know him,
I hope that you'll still join me

in celebrating his life this Wednesday

at the American Legion.
Thank you.

Oh, um, and if there's
anyone who's able

to help me clean out his house,
please let me know.

Ooh, you know I love to tackle clutter.
We'll do it!

Oh, thank you.