Young Sheldon (2017–…): Season 1, Episode 2 - Rockets, Communists, and the Dewey Decimal System - full transcript

To appease his worried mother, Sheldon employs the techniques of a self-help book to try and make a friend.

Look at him. Bres my heart.

Poor little guy, all alone.

I don't see why

- his brother can't sit with him.
- Come on, Mary.

When you were in high school,
would you have lunch...

- with a nineyearold?
- Yes, I would've.

Well, there's something
wrong with you.

I'm gonna keep him company.

Hey, hey, hey, Mary. Mary.

Think this through.
Right now the kids

are just ignoring Sheldon.

What happens if he's
sitting with his mommy?

They could mistake me
for a senior.

Well, I look younger than you.

Just give this time, all right?

It'll work itself out.

My mother never understood

that I actually enjoyed
being alone.

Solitude allowed me to think
about important things,

like the effect of
gravitational forces

as you approach
an event horizon,

as opposed to less
important things,

like how many grapes
my brother can fit in his mouth.

14!

Yeah!

JeanPaul Sartre said,

"Hell is other people."

That's humorous
because it's true.

Something wrong?

How come math is
easy for Sheldon

and hard for me?

I don't know, honey,

but you have your own gifts.

Like what?

Well, like...

you have very pretty hair.

True.

Georgie.

Would you do me
a little tiny favor?

Like what?

Tomorrow at lunch, would you mind

sitting with your brother?

Don't do it, Georgie.

You stay out of this.

I ate with him in second grade.

It really hurt my social life.

Sorry, Mom. Can't do it.

Why are you such a brat?

Maybe I'm crying for attention.

This isn't a joke, young lady.

Yes, your brother may be smart,

but he doesn't have
a friend in the world.

And I am sorry, but I am
very worried about him.

Nice going. You're making
Mom a nervous wreck.

What did I do?

You don't have any friends,
and she is beside herself.

But I'm fine without friends.

I don't know what to
tell you, Sheldon.

She said it's your fault.

I'm going to watch ALF.

Sisters are the worst.

When you're three foot ten

and in high school,

getting from point "A"

to point "B" can be
a harrowing experience.

But it's worth
it when point "B" is...

the library.

Home to the original
information superhighway,

the Dewey Decimal System.

Hey there, Sheldon.

What can I get for you today?

Chemistry?

Quantum mechanics? Astronomy?

No, nothing fun today.

I need to learn
how to make a friend.

Aw, honey,
you having a hard time

adjusting to high school?

I'm having a hard time
adjusting to Earth.

Yeah. You and me both.

Try this.

It's been around a while,
but it's still quite popular.

Unlike me,

who's just been around a while.

"How to Win Friends

and Influence People."

This might do it.

"Principle one.

Don't criticize,
condemn or complain."

The three sharpest arrows

in my quiver.

Thus began
the greatest challenge

of my young life.

Hello, George.

What?

I do admire your
thick head of hair...

George.

Thanks.

What's going on?

Well, I'm practicing the
principles in this book.

- Why?
- Well, I know Mom is concerned

that I don't have any friends,

so I'm determined to
remedy the situation.

George.

Well, good for you.

Do you feel complimented

when I say your name, George?

The book says you should. George.

I suppose.

Kind of overdoing it a little.

- Sheldon.
- Well, thank you

for your criticism.

It also says I should praise

any improvements that you've made.

Okay.

I'll get back to you.

George.

On the heels

of that successful beta test,

I decided to practice
the Carnegie principles

on someone my own age.

- Hello, Billy Sparks.
- Hey, Sheldon.

I am genuinely interested in you

and would like to encourage
you to talk about yourself.

Billy Sparks.

Thank you.

You have the floor.

Thank you.

Looking back,
I would've had better luck

making friends with
the chickens.

Go Wolves.

What?

You're a cheerleader,
and by saying...

"Go Wolves,"
I'm initiating a conversation

about something that interests you.

Are you one of
those special ed kids?

My mom says I'm special.

Would you like to be friends?

I don't think so.

Are you sure?
What if I told you...

I admired your
boldlyapplied makeup?

Greetings from
stall number one.

As much as I detest that
oddsmelling cigarette,

I do applaud

your rulebreaking bravado.

My name is Sheldon.
What's yours?

Hello, gentlemen.

Did you watch any sports
programs over the weekend?

Or perhaps did some
kissing with girls?

Can you hear me?

95, 96, 97.

98.

99, 100.

- You missed 11 numbers.
- I don't need

to be good at math.
I have beautiful hair.

That's the saddest
thing I've ever heard.

Didn't you already
read that book?

I'm reading it again.

How come?

I clearly missed something.

I couldn't find one person
who wanted to be my friend.

Did you look at the card inside?

Why?

That's just other people
who checked out the book.

It's a list of losers like
you who can't find a friend.

So?

So they're desperate,
and you have their names.

That's brilliant.

Now, how is it that
you can't count?

So your father tells me
you've been reading a new book?

I am. It's about
how to make friends.

Is that something
you're interested in?

Not really, but Missy told me

it makes you sad that
I don't have any.

I got to sew that
girl's mouth shut.

So how's it going?

Well, the principles in the
book didn't work for me at all.

Although Dad does like
being called George

over and over again, so
you might give that a try.

Baby, you don't have to
go to any trouble for me.

But I like doing things for you.

You're a nice lady.

- But if the book's not working...
- It isn't.

But I realized
if I find the other people

who checked out the book,
they'd be looking for friends, too.

That's really smart.

- Missy thought of it.
- You're kidding.

I'm as surprised as you are.

Excuse me, Ms. Ingram?

Sheldon, it's recess.

Go outside, see what it's like.

Are you by any chance
Evelyn Ingram?

Yes.

The same Evelyn Ingram
who checked out this book?

- And why is that your business?
- I just

assumed you were looking to
make a friend.

Well, that was a long time ago.

I had just gotten out of a
very difficult relationship.

- With a friend?
- Friend.

Ha! I gave that man
three years of my life

and my innocence.

I don't know what that means.

It means men are lying dogs
only interested in one thing.

Well, that's not the
dictionary definition.

Always starts the same.

A quick glance across the room,
a casual hand on the shoulder,

lunch at Stuckey's.

Yeah, it's all romance

and flowers in the beginning...

The list proved
to be a doubleedged sword.

It turns out selfhelp
books written in 1936

were only of interest to adults.

You're like,
"I'm here because I care.

And by the way, your phone
could make calls, too."

Then tries to turn
this whole thing around

like it's all about
you being needy,

and you're like,
"Yes, I have needs!

That's what makes me human!"

Emotionally troubled adults.

Child, go outside.

Yes, that's my signature.
Why do you ask?

I'm seeking people
who want to make friends.

I wasn't interested in friends.

I took out that book to help
me become school principal.

- Did it work?
- Are we sitting in the principal's office?

- No.
- And you know why?

Because Victoria MacElroy
is not a man!

So to be clear, you're not
interested in making friends?

What I'm interested in
is in living long enough

to see women no longer treated
like secondclass citizens.

Well if your goal is a long life,

that chili cheeseburger is
a step in the wrong direction.

Food is all I have.

Like I said,

emotionally troubled adults.

You gonna watch me eat?

Get out of here.

Everybody told me,

"Hubert, don't date
someone from work."

But did I listen? No.

Let me tell you something.
She likes to say...

I stole her innocence?

Well, what about my innocence?

I was never the same
after we broke up.

Two years later,

Mr. Givens became the
high school principal,

which might be why Ms. MacElroy
became morbidly obese.

I had the brains, I had the charm,
and I don't like to brag,

but I was pretty easy
on the eyes back then.

That woman got herself
one heck of a package.

But some people don't
want to be satisfied.

Is that any good?

I'm afraid not.

I failed to make
a single friend.

That sucks. I have a tough
time making friends, too.

The worst part is,
it was important to my mom.

My parents pressure me about
making friends all the time.

So you understand
what I'm going through.

I read that book.
It's excellent.

Are you into rocketry?

I started with water propulsion,

worked my way up to solid fuel,

then went back to water after
I set our garage on fire.

- Nice.
- I also tried to get some uranium

and build an atomic engine,
but that stuff's hard to find.

Probably for the best.

Well, good luck on your
quest to find a friend.

You, too.

If you haven't found one
yet, I have good news.

Mom, what do you know
about the drug Prozac?

Not much.

Supposed to make people happier.
Why?

I was just thinking

some of my teachers
might benefit from it.

Speaking of which,

you'll be happy to know
I made a friend today.

Well, that's nice.

But, as I said,
this isn't for me.

It's for you.

He made a friend!

He did it!

Our little boy has got a friend.

- Who is it?
- Who cares?

It's a human being.
It's a warm body.

Mom?

Yes, honey?

- Can I come in?
- Of course.

Be cool.

- What's up, sweetie?
- I was wondering

when I could continue
my rocketry hobby.

Sheldon,
we've been through this.

You can build them. You
just can't launch them.

But launching them
is the fun part.

Tell that to the family
of squirrels...

who died in the fire.

Okay.

It was just something I was
hoping to do with my new friend.

Hang on.

Yes.

It's fine.

Ban is lifted.

- Mary...
- It's for his friend.

He's got a friend.

Besides, those could have been rats.

Their bodies were
so badly burned.

I thought we were being cool,
but okay.

Hey, here's an idea.

Why don't you invite your
new buddy over for dinner?

- Why?
- Well, honey,

um, that is what friends do.

My mother asked me to ask you

if you'd like to
join us for dinner.

- Why?
- I was hoping you'd know.

He's here!

Everybody, stay calm!
Just a normal day,

- just a normal dinner.
- Can I eat in front of the TV?

No, you can eat in
front of Sheldon's friend.

- Aw, fudge.
- I know what "fudge" means,

and you are right on
the edge, young lady.

Welcome.

So...

Tam. What kind of name is that?

Vietnamese. Sir.

Sure. You know, I spent
a little time over there.

Army.

Your mom's name isn't KimLee,
is it?

No. Sir.

Good.

I mean, you know,
it's a small country.

So...

Mary, how's that food coming?

Almost.

So, Vietnam, like in Rambo.

- Yes.
- That's a cool movie.

Yes.

Are you in it?

No.

Why would you think
you knew his mom?

All right, Tam.

I decided I was gonna make you
a real Texas dinner.

Barbecued chicken and brisket.

Thank you.

Well, I figured you were
probably tired...

of stuff wiggling around
on your plate.

Okay, let's say grace.

Now, Tam, when I say "Jesus,"

feel free to say the word
"Buddha" in your head.

I'm actually Catholic.

Well, that's too bad.

Thank you, God, for this food,

and bless the hands
that prepared it.

And thank you so much
for Sheldon's new friend.

Amen.

So, Tam, tell us
about your family.

What brings y'all to Texas?

Well, after the American War...

You mean the Vietnam War.

We call it the American War.

Anyway,

after the war, my father was sent

to a reeducation camp...

because he fought on the wrong side.

You mean our side.

I was trying to be nice.

So, for many years,

my mother and my sisters and I

were very poor...

and very often didn't have much to eat.

Then, when he was released...

What'd they teach him
at the reeducation camp?

How to be a communist.

Cool, like in Rambo.

When he was released,

we escaped on a small boat

and spent many weeks at sea
dodging Cambodian pirates

until we reached Thailand.

That's supposed to
be a beautiful country.

- Lovely beaches.
- I wouldn't know.

We were forced to
live in a refugee camp,

where the only thing we had
to eat were pigeons and rats.

Ha! That's a job for hot sauce.

Finally,

we were allowed to
come to United States

and start over in Galveston.

My father saved money and
bought his own shrimp boat.

There's a happy ending.

See, kids?
When the going gets tough,

- America provides.
- It did.

Until the Ku Klux Klan
burned our boat...

and chased us away.

You gonna put a good spin
on that one?

So we came to Medford...

and opened up a convenience store.

My parents work 16 hours a day,

seven days a week

for very little money.

Well, that was depressing.

I don't understand
why it didn't launch.

Me, neither.

Evil Nazi scientists
did it 50 years ago.

How hard could it be?

Can I help you?

Sorry to bother you, ma'am.

We're looking for
a Sheldon Lee Cooper.

George!

I'm on the can.

Now!

- What?
- These gentlemen

are with the FBI.
They want to talk to Sheldon.

What?

We...

YYou fellas must have
made a mistake.

Sheldon's nine.

Well, someone living at this address

recently called a mining
operation in Canada...

and tried to buy uranium.

Okay, maybe it's not a mistake.

It's ridiculous.

Let's just go talk to him.

He's just a little,
ittybitty thing.

Really, he's harmless.

Sorry!

He's in the garage.

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