Young Sheldon (2017–…): Season 1, Episode 19 - Gluons, Guacamole, and the Color Purple - full transcript

When Sheldon is no longer academically challenged at Medford High, he audits a college class taught by Dr. John Sturgis.

Now we're looking
for two binomials

that multiply
to get the given trinomial.

Whenever I wasn't being

challenged intellectually,

my brain was more than happy
to step up and accommodate.

It was like having the perfect
playmate in my skull.

Sir, the COBE satellite is going
into an uncontrolled spin.

So fix it!

We can't. Our computer programs
weren't designed

to handle a chaotic system.

Darn it! If only someone could
calculate the maneuver

and make it stable again!

There is someone.

And it's me.

You're just a kid.

A kid who knows to
add an x-cubed term

to a simple harmonic oscillator.

If you extend the solar panel
by one meter,

you'll save your satellite.

You heard him. Do it!

- Right away.
- Sheldon?


Were you paying attention
to anything I said?


Then what'd I say?

When factoring a trinomial

where the leading coefficient
isn't one,

it must be written
in descending order

from highest power
to lowest power.

Well... yeah.

You'll save your satellite.

You heard him. Do it!

It worked.
The satellite is stable!


Thanks, kid.

You really saved my bottom.

Tell your bottom,
"It's welcome."

And bless our appetites,
both physical and spiritual,

to honor You in all we do.

In Jesus' name.

What happened to "Bless
the hands that prepared it"?

I thought I'd mix it up.

I miss the old one.

Me, too.

Yeah, what I like
about the other one...

And bless the hands
that prepared it.

- Amen.
- Amen.

So, how was
everybody's day?

I'm done with high school.

What does that mean?

Well, I don't
learn anything there,

and I don't want to go anymore.

Well, where do you think
you're gonna go?

Who cares?
Let him go.

Shh. Well?

I've been corresponding
with Dr. John Sturgis

at East Texas Tech.

He said I could audit
his course.

You're pen pals with a
stranger? Is this okay?

He's not a stranger.
He's a famous scientist.

He carbon-dated
the oldest human feces.

That ain't strange.

Now, Shelly,
I appreciate that you want

to expand your horizons, but how
would you even get there?

The school's an hour away.

I'm working,
your dad's working.

Again, who cares?
Let him go.

He could hitchhike.


It's only one day a week,

and I was hoping
Meemaw could take me.

I'm gonna start eating
dinner at my house.

You better make
a whole lot of money

and take care of
me when I'm old.

I'm not interested
in money.

I'm interested
in the pursuit of knowledge.

That is the wrong
thing to say to someone

who is spending her Friday
night as your chauffeur.

Did you know the word chauffeur
is French for "stoker,"

because the first automobiles
were steam-powered,

and the driver had
to stoke the engine?

Right there. Why am I
driving you to college

when you already
know everything?

I didn't know everything,

but compared to her friends
at water aerobics,

I could see
how it felt that way.

Okay, this is you.

Good luck.

Aren't you going to walk me in
and get me situated?

Oh, yes, of course.

Right this way, my prince.

Why are they all
looking at us?

I think they're
looking at you.

Oh. Hello.

There you go.

Okay, you all situated?

I believe so, yes.

- I'll be right outside.
- Are you sure

you don't want to stay and learn
about quantum chromodynamics?

And spoil the fun of you
telling me all about it

on the ride home?

No way.


That's my meemaw.

- He's really ours?
- Thank you.

Oh, come on,
you done all the work.

Adrian, I can't believe
you done this.

Can you help me?

With what?

I don't understand
my homework.

You're asking me?

I don't understand
my own homework.

I know, but you're all I got.

What kind of homework
is it?


I ain't great
with grammar.

Well, grammar's just talking,
and we both talk good.

I guess. Gimme.

There's a list of sentences,
and you're supposed to say

if each one's a complete
sentence or not.

The first one is,

"Most people
in the country."

That doesn't sound
like a sentence.

But ask me who drives
pickup trucks.

Who drives pickup trucks?

Most people in the country.

Well, now it does
sound like one.

I told you, it's confusing.

I can't help you.

If you don't want me
mixing with Creed no more...

Do you think we're stupid?

Sheldon's in college
right now,

and we can't figure out
your homework.

What do you think?

Sometimes I tell myself
I only look stupid

because he's so smart.


Give me the book.

Don't just sit there,
make me a sandwich.

Coming up.

- Hello.
- Hello.

Forgive me, but is that pattern
a double basket weave?

Um, I suppose so.

I've always just called it
a "loop-loop whoopsie-do."

Well, it's very

Do you knit?

No, but it's always
intrigued me.

Believe it or not,

the first computer
was a loom.

Is that so?

It is.

Well, okay.


Well, if you'll
excuse me, uh,

I have a class to teach.

Oh, you must be
my grandson's pen pal.

I'm sorry?

Sheldon Cooper.

The nine-year-old with
the flawless penmanship.

I look forward
to meeting him.

Well, he's right in there.
You can't miss him.

- He's about yea big.
- Oh.

An-An-And will you
be joining us?

Will you be discussing
quantum chromodynamics?

I certainly hope so.

- Then I don't think so.
- Are you sure?

Every day is a chance
to learn something new.

Can I ask questions?

Well, how else
can you learn?

Well, let's do it, then.

My name's John.

And I'm Connie.

My middle name's Whitney.

And now I know that.

Well, I'm so glad
you enjoyed it.

So, Sheldon, what did you think

of your first
theoretical physics class?

I think I'm gonna do this
for the rest of my life.

Good choice.

Connie, I would like
to see you again.

Perhaps we could
have dinner sometime.

Yes, we would love that.

We would?

We wouldn't?

You wouldn't?

We would.


So, where are we eating?

Okay, this says,
"A complete sentence

always contains a verb."

Which one's a verb?

"A verb is a word that
describes an action.

I play checkers.
You eat spaghetti."

We suck at homework.

The action is sucking.

So, the first one
on your homework is,

"Most people
in the country."

I don't see
an action word.

Neither do I.

Georgie, I don't think
this is a sentence.

I think you're right.

Now I just have
to fix it.

Put a verb in there, girl.

I think you might be getting
a little ahead of yourself.

I don't think so.
They're in love.

They were looking into
each other's eyes

like there was
something in there

other than corneas
and irises.

Well, if that's the case,
that'd be wonderful.

It'd be more than wonderful.

If they get married,
we immediately double

the number of smart people
in our family.

That means we go
from one to two.

I got that.

So, did you understand
any of it?

Not a word.

But he had on a tweed jacket
with the elbow patches,

so he must know
what he's talking about.

Boy, Sheldon's fired up.

Oh, he loved it.

He sat there for
an hour and a half

just as happy as
a pig in poop.

He mentioned you were
pretty happy

about the whole experience, too.

Well, I guess
Mr. Wizard did take

a bit of a shine to me.

What's that mean?

It means he asked
me out to dinner.

No big deal.

So, you going?

When have you known me
to turn down a free meal?

Ain't that the truth.

Says the Pillsbury Doughboy.

Ain't that the truth.

I do have feelings, y'all.

Don't put on too much of that.

We want him to like you
for your mind.

I think I know what I'm doing
when it comes to men.

If that's true,
then why do you live alone?

Because my husband died.
Any other questions?

He's here!

I'll get it.

Maybe that is a bit much.

- Hello, Dr. Sturgis.
- Hello, Sheldon.

Come in. Meemaw's upstairs
getting ready for your date.


Oh, my, this is a lovely house.

Isn't it? Can you see
yourself living here?

I can.

Here are some things you might
find helpful about Meemaw.

Her favorite color
is purple,

mint chip,

and her favorite food
is Mexican.

Good to know.

She loves gambling, bowling,
and especially me.

You can't talk enough
about me.

Tell me more about you.

- My favorite color is blue.
- Mine, too.

- Vanilla.
- Good man.

with hot dogs cut up in it.

I've never had that.

- What's your favorite food?
- Grilled cheese.

What about the risk
of mouth burn?

It's a perfect excuse
for vanilla ice cream.

If you want to propose tonight,
you have my blessing.

Hello, boys.

Hello, Connie.

These are for you.

Aw, thank you.
They're beautiful.

Some of them are purple.

So they are.

I should probably get 'em
into some water.

I can do that.

You two begin
your courtship.

- Moonpie.
- Yes?

Go home.

So you can begin
the courtship, got it.


Dr. Sturgis,

I just want you to know
I couldn't be more pleased.

let me take care of these,

and then we'll head out.

I just need to

borrow your phone to call a cab.


I don't drive.

Well, how did you get here?

I rode my bicycle.

You rode your bicycle?

I have a Schwinn Speedster.

It's got three gears.
I only use one.

I tell you what, how
about we take my car?


So, would you be opposed

to me sitting in the back seat?

It's statistically
the safest part of the car.

Actually, I would.

Asked and answered.

Did you cry
when you saw it?


Why not?

'Cause it ain't
that big a deal.


Did you hang it
on your wall?

Get out of here!

I'm telling people you cried.

Do you like guacamole?

I don't know.

Being from Maine, we didn't have
much Mexican food.

Or Mexican people.
Or people.

It's just mashed up avocados.
I think you'd like it.

And they do it right
here at the table.

Did they run out of room
in the kitchen?

No, it's-it's like,
you know, a show.

- Like Benihana.
- Exactly.

I don't like Benihana.

- Let's skip the guacamole.
- No, no.

You like it,
and I want this date

to be appealing to you,
so let's order it.


I might enjoy it.
I might not.

But, uh, I'm willing
to take that gamble.

Which, uh,
I'm given to understand

you also like.

Oh, that little rat just
told you everything, didn't he?

Don't feel bad, I enjoy
a little gambling now and then.

Do you?

I sat in your front seat,
didn't I?

Good, I made you laugh.

Full disclosure,
I wasn't trying to be funny.

Still not trying.

They're not gonna
be back for a while.

Go to bed.

I won't be able to sleep.

I'm not telling you
to go to sleep,

I'm telling you to go to bed.

You don't think

they'll have relations tonight,
do you?

Now I'm telling you
to go to sleep.

So, John, you ever
been married?

- No.
- Hmm.

Ever been in love?

Seven times.

Seven times?

How come you never
settled down?

Well, my feelings
were not reciprocated.

Well, that's so sad.

Not for them.

They all seemed pleased
with the outcome.

Especially number four.

She said she
dodged a bullet.

That is a very brave thing
to say on a first date.


If there's a second date,
I'll tell you.

I have a chance
at a second date?

This is going very well.

Try the guacamole.

No, no, no.
With a chip.



Like this.

There you go.


Now, how do
chimichangas work?

I have no idea.

Well, I think we should try
and find out.

How'd it go?

Oh! What the hell?

I wanted to know
how your date went,

and I got bored
watching you sleep.

How long have you been there?

67 minutes.

Now, tell me everything.

Go away.
Let me sleep.


But before I go,
should I be worried

he's not in your bed?

Get out!

I certainly hope
you were nicer to him.


So, are you gonna
see him again?

I don't know.

He showed up at my
house on a bike.

Like a Harley?

Like a Schwinn.

You mean a bike bike?

With a jingle bell on the
handlebar and everything.

Well, that's kind of charming.

He doesn't know how
to drive a car.

Doesn't want to know.

Okay, a little
less charming.

There's something about him.

I mean, he's smart as hell,
and gentle and funny.

Not always on purpose,
but he's funny.

I never met anybody
like him.

Sounds like Sheldon.

Now, why would you go

and put that thought
in my mind?

Well, I think you should

give him another try.

I agree with Mom.


Oh, no.


So, now we can discuss

what the perturbative QCD
corrections to R-bar look like.

So, you can also
write it as "R"

divided by the length of "R."

That would be a vector

of unit length...


to "R."

I'm sorry, where was I?

"R" divided by
the length of "R."

That would be a vector

of unit length
parallel to "R."

Oh, yes. Thank you.

So, if you divide "R"
by the length of "R,"

that would be a vector...

of unit length parallel...


I think you need to leave.


when we divide "R"

by the length of "R,"

that would be a vector
of unit length

parallel to "R."

Sir, bad news.

Don't tell me.
There's another problem

we're not smart
enough to solve?

It's the satellite... the liquid
helium is boiling off.

Well, why the heck
would that happen?

I'll tell you why.

The sun must be glinting off
the solar panel

and hitting the dewar.

Why didn't you know that?

I'm a disappointment, sir.

We need to calculate
all the Euler angles

that would cause the sun
to hit the liquid helium.

Can you do it in time?

I can with my new friend,
Dr. John Sturgis.



He's gonna marry
my meemaw.

I bought her a bicycle.

A purple bicycle.

Sounds like love to me.

Mr. Cooper?!


Are you paying attention?

I already know this.

You know this?

But they don't,
so by all means, continue.