Young James Herriot (2011–…): Season 1, Episode 2 - Episode #1.2 - full transcript
Whirly's friend Phoebe Murdoch,a farmer's daughter due to marry herdsman Desmond,tells the students her father's cattle are ailing but Murdoch and Desmond are hostile when James suggests their illness is caused by arsenic in the feed Desmond gives them. However Whirly's analysis saves the situation,allowing the marriage to go ahead though Gunnell's ignorant intervention into the crisis, which Whirly sees as an attempt to undermine her, spurs her to spiking his drink. McAloon sees the chance to make capital from an elderly couple concerned that their pet sheep Lilian is sick until Ritchie forces him to give them a rebate and donate the fee they have given him to the college.
Do you know the way
to the veterinary college?
This is my first day.
I've got a James Herriot for you,
Professor Legge.
You've made quite an impression
on your first morning.
You've met Professor Gunnell.
Since you have been so kind
to grace us with your presence.
I understand you've also made the
acquaintance of Professor Richie.
And who are you to lecture me
about horses?
The name's Whirly. The idiot's
called McAloon. I just ignore him.
Auntie. This is James Herriot.
We thought he could stay here.
I'd like to say I don't bite.
But often I do.
Rrar. Oh.
Hello, there, did you see
where the delivery cart went?
Hello, I'm Jenny Muirhead.
You've made an enemy of me.
Don't count on qualifying
as a vet from this college.
I came here to cure sick animals,
not to kill them.
I hope you continue to impress,
Mr Herriot.
We're going to be pals.
Good friends.
Would you... Careful!
Hello, Phoebe. Oh, morning, James.
Morning, Cleo.
I've brought Whirly's bridesmaid's
dress. You'd best come in then.
Everything OK?
Just wedding nerves.
James. Oh, how delightful.
You've found a friend on your walk.
I told you walking Cleo wouldn't be
a hardship.
Here's mama.
This way.
You must be excited
about the big day.
Phoebe.
Getting married can't be that bad.
It's just so dreadful at the farm
right now, Whirly.
Yesterday, two cows slipped
their calves. Two on the same day?
Desmond took control of everything.
He knew exactly what to do.
But nothing he does is good enough
for my father.
Come on, let's got upstairs,
you can help me get
into my bridesmaid's dress.
Two, that's favouritism.
Indeed it is, Mr McAloon.
This young man needs building up.
(I think the two of you
are a match made in heaven.)
WHIRLY: Prepare yourselves.
You do, Whirly.
Do take that monstrosity off,
old girl.
I prefer you in
your usual boys' clothes.
Darling.
The dress is lovely, Phoebe.
McAloon's just saying that
to annoy Whirly.
It's his favourite hobby.
This is an utterly fine model.
You really needn't be
embarrassed about Mrs Munro.
She's a very attractive woman.
What's this I hear?
Whirly's Aunt Elspeth has her eyes
set on young James, here.
Positively smitten.
(Whirly. Whirly!)
Miss Tyson.
I have a special task for you.
A cancer-ridden sow is being
delivered today.
I want you to remove the tumours
and dissect them.
I'm expecting the delivery any
minute now in the courtyard. So...
Thank you, Professor Gunnell.
Gentlemen. Professor Richie has
an important announcement to make.
You'll all be aware of Mr Stokes.
No finer vet in this country.
However, recently,
he's been incapcitated with gout
and he's asked us
to look after his patients.
This is a unique opportunity.
It will help bring
much needed funds to the college.
And may well be the start
of a regular service in the area.
You will be doing the rounds in
pairs. So, get yourself a partner.
Preferably one you can trust.
If you do a good job,
you will gain valuable experience
and a share of the fees.
Proctor and Faraday,
you have a heifer with mastitis.
Muirhead and Skinner,
a sow with dropsy.
And we've a case of bovine farcy.
Ah, Campbell and Fraser, very good.
McAloon and Herriot,
you have a sheep which has had
an altercation with a bicycle.
ALL LAUGH
Just our luck.
Whereabouts is this sheep,
Professor Richie?
It's the Swinney farm
on Fenwick Moor.
Then surely we must have a car?
Well, Mr Stokes has kindly
left us his.
You'll find it
outside in the courtyard.
Thank you. And good luck to you all.
Where'd Miss Tyson go? I thought
this would be perfect for her.
I felt her dissection skills
could do with brushing up.
And I have the perfect specimen
coming in today.
Excellent.
Where are you two off to?
We, dear Whirly,
are off for a drive in the country.
Fenwick Moor.
James, you were right
about Phoebe cheering up.
She's worried because
two of her father's heifers
aborted their calves yesterday.
Two. I know. It's very odd.
It's going to make things
really hard for them on the farm.
One scabby sheep.
No pun intended, but you do know
that this job is largely
about pulling the wool?
That's a bit cynical.
Even for you, McAloon.
No one wants to pay us, so you need
to look every inch the expert,
even if you haven't a clue. Which,
in your case, is bang on the money.
Right.
That way.
Where we going?
Just a short detour.
Whirly said there's a problem
at Phoebe's farm. Oh!
You're such a soft touch, Herriot.
Let's just see the damned sheep
and get back to the pub.
It could be a bit more exciting
than a sheep
that's been hit by a bicycle.
A dairy herd. 30 beasts.
That's not the kind of excitement
I'm after. If there's a problem,
there could be money in it for us.
James Herriot,
you have said the magic word.
Yeah. Thought so.
It doesn't look good.
Indeed.
Looks nearly full term. Hmm.
Who the hell are you?
You're trespassing.
Mr Murdoch, we're from
the Glasgow Veterinary College.
I'm James Herriot.
We've heard you've had
some trouble with your cows.
Phoebe's friend,
Whirly Tyson, told us.
Two of your cows have slipped
their calves.
My daughter has no business... For a
reasonable fee, Mr Murdoch, we can...
I am not spending a fortune for
you to tell me what I already know.
Now, excuse me.
Oh, well, time is money,
let's move on swiftly.
It looks like you could do with
some veterinary help, Mr Murdoch.
That calf's nearly full term,
do you know what happened?
James, you're never going
to persuade him, let's leave.
James!
There, lass.
Have you not finished yet?
Almost, Mr Murdoch.
I thought I told you two to sod off.
What do you think's wrong, Mr...?
Murray. Ah, Desmond. James Herriot.
A couple of the cows have slipped
their calves. Happens all the time.
It's mother nature.
This'll see them all right.
Well, there you have it, then.
Are you a vet, sir?
Yes. Can I ask where you trained?
I've learnt with these.
I've been fixing animals
since you were in short trousers.
How many years have you been tending
to animals?
What's in the bottle? It's cow
medicine. What's that exactly?
Yeah, I've just about had my fill
of you.
Come on, give me a hand here,
man, come on.
There, lady. Shh, shh, shh.
Come on, James.
COW GROANS
My turn to drive, old boy.
Would you mind? Tch. Thank you.
That man, Desmond, doesn't have
a clue. Well, he can join the club.
You see his face when I asked him
what was in this thing?
Tad blank, I agree.
God, what a complete waste
of our time. Thank you, Whirly Tyson!
Whirly, are you still here?
Yes, never was any pig.
Gunnell's made a complete fool
out of me. Of course he has.
What a fool. He shouldn't be allowed
to treat women differently.
Honestly, Whirly,
the way you stand up to people...
this country needs people like you
who fight for what they believe in.
Thank you, Jenny.
Just through here.
We call her Lilian.
She was our daughter's little lamb.
She lives in Canada now.
Saskatchewan.
We haven't heard from her in years.
Lilian's the only living thing
we have to remind us of her.
Clearly a much-loved, family animal,
Mrs Swinney.
She's a lot more than that.
Indeed she is.
Now, if you wouldn't mind
standing outside for a while,
Mr and Mrs Swinney, my colleague,
vet Herriot,
and I would like to examine Lilian
properly.
Yes, of course,
you must be prepared...
if she is... very badly injured...
it will be best to put her
to sleep.
Thank you.
Are you mad?
They're getting sentimental over
a sheep. It's a surrogate daughter!
This could be an excellent
money-spinner for us.
Robert McAloon, we are not letting
an animal suffer to make money.
Who says she's going to suffer?
Oh, for God's sake, Herriot,
you need the cash more than I do.
Take notes.
Investigation commencing, 11:58.
I suppose you're enjoying
having a laugh at my expense.
How dare you speak to me like that.
You said the pig was being delivered
first thing. Did I?
Well, perhaps I was wrong.
Yes, deliberately.
Because you wanted me to miss out
on the experience
all the other students were getting.
Miss Tyson, I have never heard the
like. Don't give me that, you liar.
I know exactly what you've done.
Miss Tyson. You're running amok.
Apologise to Professor Gunnell
immediately.
Damned if I will, you're
just as bad as he is, this college.
It's just one big, old boys' club.
Professor Gunnell wanted to give you
badly needed practical help.
You've no cause to impune
his integrity.
Now, please go.
No sign of any broken bones.
Might just be shock,
she may recover in her own time.
We won't get paid a fee
for that diagnosis.
Can't we think of something more...
complicated?
More expensive. No.
Listless, not eating,
no eye response.
Surely I can find something in the
college library with those symptoms.
I'm sorry,
can't cheat the old couple.
Look at this plate. The sheep eats
better than you, old man.
The Swinney's clearly aren't
short of a bob or two.
KNOCK ON DOOR
Mr and Mrs Swinney.
The good news is there are no obvious
signs of internal injuries.
It may be, er, psychological.
Vet Herriot and I shall return
to our surgery
and consult with the specialist
in this area.
Don't worry, we'll do everything
we can to save her.
Thank you, Mr McAloon. Cheers.
Ah.
You should apologise, Whirly.
I'm sick of apologising to Gunnell
for what he's done.
The man hates me and I hate him.
But what you said to Richie?
Not my finest hour, I agree.
You know Richie wouldn't
tolerate discrimination,
he's hardly the old boys' club type.
We went to the Murdochs' farm,
like you asked. And?
Phoebe's future husband was there.
I didn't think very much of him.
Desmond?
I told you, he's a lovely chap.
Phoebe adores him. Ay, he's a fake.
James, he was responsible
for looking after horses
in the Great War. So he says.
It's true and he suffered
terrible shell-shock.
That injury,
you think he made it up?
He became a recluse, for God's sake.
It was Phoebe who saved his life.
Well, I wouldn't trust
a thing the man says.
You don't know
what you're talking about.
He's well-respected by farmers.
Well, his own future father-in-law
didn't seem
to respect him very much.
Old Murdoch doesn't think anyone's
any good, apart from himself.
He's a bully, just like Gunnell.
It looks like snake oil to me.
I suspect a home-made
brew of ingredients,
easily purchased on
every high street in the land.
(Knew he was a quack.)
A Mr Desmond Murray
at the Murdoch's farm
is pretending to be a vet,
professor. Uh-huh.
There are a lot of men
who call themselves vets
who don't have
the scientific qualifications.
But they often have good instincts
and experience.
Apparently he looked after
animals in the Great War.
I wish we'd stop calling that
imperialist disaster "great".
It was the ugliest, least great event
you could ever imagine.
A scar on this country's history.
You fought in the War, professor?
Swept up in a great, patriotic
fervour. I was naive, Mr Herriot.
The prerogative of youth.
If this Mr Murray's experience was
anything like my own,
he has my profound sympathy.
He has been badly injured.
Part of his face has been...
shot away.
Imagine having to live with that.
Now, give that tincture to Mr Gakhal.
He'll give you a scientific opinion.
And after you do, why not
spend the rest of the evening
reading about the "Great War",
as you call it?
You need to know your history,
Mr Herriot.
To see why, in this country
and the rest of Europe,
there are very dark forces
on the rise.
Oh, Professor Richie?
You know I'm a good friend
of Whirly Tyson.
Do you think Professor Gunnell's
trying to get rid of her
from this college?
I can't believe that for a moment.
Maybe we should try and see things
from Whirly's point of view?
Miss Tyson must learn to marshal
an argument.
Not charge about like a raging bull.
You see the silvery deposit? Uh-huh.
That tells us there's arsenic
in the mixture. Arsenic.
That's lethal.
Isn't it? No, not always.
If the dosage is very, very tiny.
Most of the liquid is a mixture
of beer and linseed oil.
I do not think that this will
be helping the cows at all.
In fact,
it could very well be harming them.
Yes, yes! James! I found a treatment
that fits the sheep's symptoms.
James? Did you hear me? Uh-huh.
Your financial worries are over.
We can keep Lilian living in sheepy
luxury and watch the fees roll in.
Lilian wins, the Swinneys win
and, more importantly, we win.
I'm sorry, McAloon, you'll have
to deal with the Swinneys yourself.
Please yourself. If your prefer to be
on the breadline then so be it.
See you back at Mrs M's.
James?
Still here?
Jenny.
What are you reading that for?
Professor Richie gave it to me.
Typical.
Pacifist claptrap.
We've millions of dead soldiers
and he feels sorry for the Germans!
Maybe he's trying to recruit you.
To what? To the Bolshevik cause.
I don't think Professor Richie has
that much regard for me.
Unlike a certain landlady
we could mention.
Jenny, I swear McAloon's making
the whole thing up.
I haven't gone
anywhere near Mrs Munro.
Have you gone anywhere near
any other women?
I've had a girlfriend.
In fact, I've had more than one.
JENNY LAUGHS
That doesn't surprise me at all,
James.
All Quiet On The Western Front.
(Whirly. Whirly.)
Ah, Whirly,
are you doing anything tomorrow?
No, I'm afraid she's going to
be at the college
waiting for phantom carcasses.
Hm-hm-hm-ha. Would you accompany me
to the Murdochs' farm?
It's just I'm a little wary
of Mr Murdoch's temper.
Don't worry,
James, I'll protect you.
Ah, you're a pal.
Goodnight, you two.
So, have you chosen
an escort for Phoebe's wedding?
I haven't decided yet.
Could be Camaron, could be
Faraday, could be James.
Oh, no, it won't be James.
Your aunt told me she's going to
ask him out for dinner on Saturday.
James isn't interested
in Aunt Elspeth.
Well, ask him yourself, Whirly.
All that spluttering denial..
Don't you think Mr Herriot protested
too much?
(Do you know,
I think he might be after her money.)
God knows he needs it.
I, therefore, offer myself.
Why the hell not?
What?
Oh, Mrs Munro!
Ummm.
Sorry, Mrs Munro.
James, darling. Pass me my robe.
Er.
James!
Thank you, James.
You're so delightful.
Phh, ha. Good for you, young James.
Didn't know you had it in you.
Chucking us out here.
Can't keep Lilian the sheep waiting.
You monster.
Darling Whirly, try not to harangue
Farmer Murdoch like you did Gunnell.
You'll just end up with egg
on your face. Gunnell set me up.
Old Gunnell isn't going to
waste his time sending you
on a wild goose chase.
That's exactly what he did.
This isn't a game.
Eugh. Another TT, Tyson Tantrum.
I don't know what
I was thinking of last night,
I won't be taking you to Phoebe's
wedding, I'd sooner take Gunnell.
You asked for that.
Hello, Mr Murdoch. Tyson.
If you've come to see our Phoebe,
go away inside.
The last thing I need is
an interfering student
from the vet college.
This so-called cure, Mr Murdoch...
It's got arsenic in it. Eh?
As if I'm going to poison
my own father-in-law's herd.
We've had it tested
in the college lab.
Well? Tell him what's in it.
Come on, Desmond, we're all waiting.
Tell him what's in it, man!
You don't know, do you?
It's a secret. It's good medicine.
I think you'd better go.
Destroying my herd! Father, what's
going on? You tell her, you bastard.
No! Phoebe, stop it. No! Tell her
what you have done to us all.
That man said there was poison
in the bottle.
There can't have been poison in it,
I've used it for years on horses.
You, just stay away from us and
you never go near our Phoebe again.
And to think...
I was going to let you run my farm.
Well, you have proven yourself unfit!
And the wedding's off.
It's not your place to cancel
the wedding, Mr Murdoch.
I will do what I want.
Desmond, I'm coming with you.
Aye, fine, go on, run away with a man
that ruined your mother and me.
Don't leave us, Phoebe. I cannot
cope without you. I'm sorry, mother.
I can't live without him.
Let her go.
You're making me choose, father.
I don't want this.
I can't take you
from your own family.
You're my family now.
Come on.
Remember, Phoebe,
you're no daughter of mine now.
There may be a lot longer in the old
girl yet. You're a marvel, son.
With this, the three of you can
while away the days together.
Tincture of ergot.
Put it in her milk.
With a drop of whisky.
Of course, I'll need to check up
on her regularly. Oh, certainly.
I don't think Mr Stokes would
understand all this effort
to keep a sheep alive.
Stokes'll be shown the door.
You have our total faith,
Mr McAloon.
Right.
Let's say half a crown for today's
visit, sixpence for the medicine
and I'll only charge you
two shillings for my last visit.
My assistant's very cheap.
I can't believe
she's left her family.
Because of my meddling.
Where do you think they've gone?
Desmond's got a place at Carbeth.
What a mess. I'll have to go back.
Why? To cause more havoc?
You couldn't help yourself,
could you?
Sometimes, James,
you're like a dog with a bone.
Well, I can't walk away now.
Has anyone ever told you
how annoying you are?
Yes.
You.
Ah.
God knows how many of them
are still to abort.
Come on, farmer's daughter,
lead the way.
COW GROANS
Feel the swelling on that.
Could it be caused by poisoning?
It's almost like arthritis.
Whirly, she's sweating.
Yes, just like Murdoch.
James, let's take some swaps
back to the lab,
see if they can come up with
anything.
I want to see this lab of yours.
There's no poison in here.
That's exactly what's in there. You
really don't know what you're doing.
How dare you?
You're a danger to those animals.
Ah! Mother nature!
Let me show you the test.
Believe me, sir,
this substance is arsenic.
But I paid good money for it.
When I give it horses,
they always look healthier.
That's because a little arsenic
will strengthen them.
Give them a shiny coat,
if used once or twice.
Any more than that makes them sick.
And more than that...
will kill them dead.
Mr Murray?
Desmond,
you should get home to Phoebe.
And tell her
I poisoned her father's herd?
From what I hear,
she loves you very much.
She's the light of my life,
Mr Herriot.
I'm nothing without her.
But what's she going
to think of me now?
JAMES SIGHS
LAUGHTER
So you've spent all this time
on one sheep?
Professor Richie, um,
well, i-it's, er,
it's a very important sheep
to the family.
And, er, they're grateful to
the college for all the attention
that I've given her.
It. Yes, I've heard from Mr Stokes.
The Swinneys don't want
his services.
Well, apparently,
you're very expensive, Mr McAloon?
Five shillings for two visits.
But worth every penny(!)
It's a very complicated case.
And what was the ailment exactly?
Um.
Er, a psychological breakdown. Ah.
I despair of you, McAloon.
It seemed to reassure the Swinneys.
I shall expect a large donation
to the college library.
Pfff. Oh, that's unless you want me
to apprise Professor Legge
of your money-making schemes?
No, sir.
No.
We got them from the Murdochs' farm.
It must be Bang's bacillus.
Sweating, swollen joints,
calves aborting early.
And I believe Mr Murdoch's
got it as well.
Well, from your description of
the symptoms, it seems most likely.
I knew it. Give me time to do
the tests. Thanks, Jagdeep.
Donald, I'll have to
forego our drinks later.
She's in here.
Yes.
Hmm.
COW GROANS
Aah.
Bang's bacillus. Eh?
No doubt about it.
You'll have to separate the sweating
cows from the rest of the herd
and slaughter them.
Are you mad, man? I can't kill live,
healthy animals. They're in calf.
I'll lose everything. I've given
you my best advice, Mr Murdoch.
If you act fast, you may save some.
And if I don't?
There's no known cure, I'm afraid.
It'll spread to
the rest of the herd.
They'll be no calves,
no milk for at least two years.
It'll be the end of your farm.
That'll be five shillings.
Ah, James!
Mr McAloon has told me of
your great liking of fine food.
So, I intend to treat you to lunch
at Regano's restaurant on Saturday.
Oh, ha-ha-ha. Thank you,
but I couldn't, Mrs Munro.
Oh, am I hearing things?
An invitation to the best restaurant
in Glasgow turned down flat?
How could you, James?
Er.
I don't have anything to wear.
I have kept my husband's wardrobe
all these years.
You shall have
one of his dress suits.
Go on, James, fatten yourself
up at Aunt Elspeth's expense. Yes.
You don't have to worry about
Whirly and me,
we'll make our own entertainment,
won't we, Whirly?
If we have to.
Thank you, Mrs Munro. I will
accept your invitation to lunch.
I think blue would suit you, James.
Bring out the colour of your eyes.
TELEPHONE RINGS
Hello?
Yes, he is.
Mr McAloon, telephone call for you.
Uh!
That does sound serious, Mr Swinney.
I understand completely.
Lilian is most definitely special.
You have my word. As a vet.
I will be leaving immediately.
Seems like the old girl's taken
a turn for the worse.
You don't fancy being a charm
and helping me investigate, do you?
I get to drive?
Obviously much iller than I thought.
Still, we've had a few more hours
of her company. Thanks to you.
I don't think I have to explain
what's best here.
She'll suffer no pain. I promise you.
I shall administer
a very generous dose.
Just to make sure.
Mr McAloon, we're not wanting Lilian
sent to the knacker's yard.
If it's all the same to you,
we want to have her cremated.
MRS SWINNEY SOBS
Desmond?
You can't stay here. It's not right.
Well, we can't afford to put me up
in a fancy hotel, can we?
I can't do this to your father.
He took me in and I've poisoned his
livestock. Some thanks. You didn't.
You were making them better.
All I've got is this shack.
My reputation's been trashed. All
I can give you is a life of misery.
I'm not having you talk
such rubbish. We've got each other.
Get it into your head, woman,
I don't want you.
Don't speak to me like that,
Desmond.
The only reason I was with was
to get the farm from your father.
No. I was using you. And now,
you're no use to me, understand?
Get yourself back to your family.
I don't love you. I never have.
Phoebe!
He's thrown me out, Whirly. What?
Desmond doesn't want to go through
with the wedding.
He said he didn't love me.
Well, that can't be true.
He was only after me
for my father's farm.
Phoebe, he told me he adores you.
He lied to you.
Like he's lied to me all this time.
You can stay here tonight.
I'll get you a wee drink.
Miss Tyson. You were right.
It's Bang's bacillus. I knew it.
And the arsenic?
It was making them worse, yes?
There is arsenic in the medicine
and it would've made them ill
eventually, but it didn't
give them swollen joints.
And it wasn't making the cows abort.
You made a mistake, James.
It happens.
What about Desmond and Phoebe?
What have I done?
We will have to tell the Murdochs.
Oh, no need for that. Sorry?
Well, fortunately for the Murdochs,
I was able to diagnose
the problem last night.
You went to the Murdochs' farm?
I did.
Yes,
after you heard about my diagnosis!
Miss Tyson, a man of my experience
understands all too well
the dangers of Bang's bacillus.
It was my duty to inform them
at the earliest opportunity.
You cannot take risks here.
I recommended he slaughter
the infected cows.
You did it to thwart me.
To thwart you?
A ridiculous accusation.
And you witnessed it all, Donald?
Professor Gunnell could hardly
have been more accommodating.
I've tried very hard to reach out
to Miss Tyson.
Alas,
she's thrown it back in my face.
There's no doubt she's a headstrong,
young woman,
but perhaps there's justification
for her anger.
What are you suggesting, professor?
It can't be easy being in
a minority of two in the college.
And, you've said yourself,
you don't want women in your classes.
Desmond?
Desmond, it's James. Leave me alone.
You didn't kill those calves.
Desmond?
Did you hear me?
You're not responsible.
They would have aborted
whatever you gave them.
It's a disease
called Bang's bacillus.
It's a very serious...
Yup, I know what it is.
But you said I poisoned the cows.
You proved it.
You would have poisoned them
eventually.
Just stick to farming, Desmond.
That's what you know.
And then maybe you'll leave
the vetting to the vets.
We just have to hope
you get it right?
I jumped to conclusions.
You know, this is the... this is
the coward's way out.
Cos Phoebe needs you,
the whole family needs you.
And, yes, I made a mistake,
but you're the one
that helped me make it,
cos you only said the things
you thought Mr Murdoch
wanted to hear,
not what you believed yourself.
You know,
you'd hardly believe it but...
I used to be a brave man once.
Well, you're all going to need guts
because...
your future father-in-law's
been advised to slaughter
the infected cattle.
Are you feeling all right, Quintin?
ECHOED RINGING
MUFFLED LAUGHTER
Professor Gunnell!
What are you doing here?
This is for women only.
HE GROANS
Is there something wrong, professor?
Uh. Oh.
HE RETCHES
Argh.
COWS MOO
Mr Murdoch! Don't do it!
What are you talking about?
There's another way.
All we need is to keep
the infected cattle separated.
In time, they'll cure themselves.
It's just essential
they don't infect any other cattle.
Believe me, I've done this before.
I just wish I'd spotted
the signs earlier.
But your Professor Gunnell,
he said different.
Professor Gunnell is a pathologist.
His speciality's dead animals.
Desmond cares about this farm.
Give me a chance to prove myself.
Phoebe.
I need to talk to you. Why?
Since you've never loved me.
I'm sorry.
I didn't mean a word of it.
I love you so much.
I'm going to marry you.
And we're going to run this farm.
Together.
Oh, I do so miss the sun.
Not that muffled glow
Glasgow occasionally offers.
Oh, and this one,
Charles in the south of France.
Looking so handsome. Hm.
You make a very stylish couple.
Perhaps what you need is a holiday.
I mean, I can look after this place.
Oh, no, I couldn't possibly.
I know it sounds foolish but...
this place is where I feel closest
to Charles.
Wouldn't he want you to go?
Want you to enjoy things?
No, it would feel like a betrayal.
No, the world will just have
to continue to come to me.
Five years ago,
you promised us this farm.
It's time you honoured your word.
I'll decide when you get the farm.
Look at yourself, Fraser.
This place has nearly killed you!
Give him time, Father.
Mr Murdoch?
I think Desmond has an instinct
for animals.
This farm could thrive with him
in charge.
Well, you heard the man.
It's time to let it go!
I'll not be far away.
Son.
Phoebe and I'd be really pleased
if you'd agree to be
guest of honour at our wedding.
How could I refuse?
Thank you. And do bring your lady
friend, James. If you have one.
Ah, James.
Whirly and I have been waiting up
for you.
Well, the choice is yours.
Hm? For our luncheon date.
Ooh. Oh.
Er, sorry, Mrs Munro, but I have
another engagement for Saturday.
I'm to be guest of honour
for Phoebe's wedding. It's back on!
That's wonderful news.
In that case, Mr McAloon,
I shall allow you to accompany me
to Regano's.
Well, no, I was actually going to
accompany Whirly to...
Oh, no, no, I couldn't deprive
Aunt Elspeth of a male companion.
There. Then, you and I very much
have a date, Mr McAloon.
Excellent.
Mrs Munro?
If I may be so forward as to ask
to borrow
one of your late husband's suits
for the wedding?
I shall look forward
to seeing you in it.
Thank you.
And if I may use the telephone,
please?
Oh, if you're brief. Yes.
Hello? Jenny?
Jenny, yeah, it's James.
Herriot. James Herriot.
Yeah, no, um, I have been
invited to a wedding. Yes.
And, and, and I was hoping that
you would agree to come with me.
Oh, that's wonderful. That is
just the cat's pyjamas. Y-Yes, yes.
No, no, you take care and I'll...
Hello? Jenny?
Jennifer? Jennifer?
It's like my Charles,
standing there, all over again.
DOOR OPENS
Well, look at you! Mr McAloon?
Come and have a look at this.
Aunt Elspeth!
Miss Whirly Tyson!
Hello!
Come on, we should go.
Have fun.
FIDDLE PLAYS
Thank you.
Ladies and gentlemen,
the beautiful Mr and Mrs Murray!
ALL CHEER AND APPLAUD
JENNY: Congratulations.
KNOCK ON DOOR
Mrs Munro? Your transport awaits.
I'm, um, I'm having second thoughts.
All that fetid air
and traffic noise.
I rather had my heart set
on Regano's famous oysters.
Very well.
Just a ten second walk
to the comfort of the car.
Hmm. Here we are.
Good afternoon.
Mrs Munro.
SHEEP BAAS
I-I-I swear I s-saw a sheep.
No, no, it must be the, er,
shock of the fresh air, Mrs M.
Th-th-there's something in there.
Maybe you should, um,
you should've stayed indoors.
Yes, here we are.
Right.
No oysters for me, then.
You brought Lilian's ashes?
Better than that, Mr Swinney.
Are you both prepared
for the surprise of your lives?
It's a miracle!
Rather than prosaic than that,
I fear.
That sedative I gave her must have
put her to sleep and, perhaps,
it's given her body time
to heal itself.
I think that's a veritable spring
in her step, don't you think?
Oh, you're a genius, young sir.
Sadly, the opposite is the case,
Mrs Swinney.
To be honest, I've rather been
flying by the seat of my pants.
Never.
I think having told you
Lilian was dead
while she was very much alive
is evidence enough of that.
My advice, if you'll take it,
is to stick with Mr Stokes.
I doubt he would have made
the same mistake I did.
Ah, come away inside and we'll get
you a drink and something to eat.
And we got a telegram
from our daughter.
We'll tell you all about it. Very
tempting, though that is, Mr Swinney.
I have another fish to fry
this evening.
Mr McAloon, thank you so much.
Thank you. Goodbye.
Here, come on, come on.
Ha-ha-ha-ha.
FIDDLE CONTINUES TO PLAY
Come on. This is my favourite.
On your lonesome again, Whirly?
You should've taken me up
on my offer.
Be quiet and dance.
Doing anything next Friday?
Actually, I have an engagement.
Well, more of a fundraising event,
really.
And, given your new
interest in politics,
perhaps you might find it
quite stimulating.
Mother! Father! Five generations of
Muirheads have bred Gordon Setters.
You've plenty to worry about
with this misconduct hearing today.
She tried to poison me. Me!
The vice principal of the college.
What about this misconduct hearing?
Are you in or out?
The jury's weighing it up.
But one thing's in my favour.
Jenny Muirhead's in there,
fighting my corner.
I'm afraid, this is a little awkward.
Why awkward?
How would you like to come
and work at the kennels?
DOGS BARK
To friends!
ALL: To friends!
to the veterinary college?
This is my first day.
I've got a James Herriot for you,
Professor Legge.
You've made quite an impression
on your first morning.
You've met Professor Gunnell.
Since you have been so kind
to grace us with your presence.
I understand you've also made the
acquaintance of Professor Richie.
And who are you to lecture me
about horses?
The name's Whirly. The idiot's
called McAloon. I just ignore him.
Auntie. This is James Herriot.
We thought he could stay here.
I'd like to say I don't bite.
But often I do.
Rrar. Oh.
Hello, there, did you see
where the delivery cart went?
Hello, I'm Jenny Muirhead.
You've made an enemy of me.
Don't count on qualifying
as a vet from this college.
I came here to cure sick animals,
not to kill them.
I hope you continue to impress,
Mr Herriot.
We're going to be pals.
Good friends.
Would you... Careful!
Hello, Phoebe. Oh, morning, James.
Morning, Cleo.
I've brought Whirly's bridesmaid's
dress. You'd best come in then.
Everything OK?
Just wedding nerves.
James. Oh, how delightful.
You've found a friend on your walk.
I told you walking Cleo wouldn't be
a hardship.
Here's mama.
This way.
You must be excited
about the big day.
Phoebe.
Getting married can't be that bad.
It's just so dreadful at the farm
right now, Whirly.
Yesterday, two cows slipped
their calves. Two on the same day?
Desmond took control of everything.
He knew exactly what to do.
But nothing he does is good enough
for my father.
Come on, let's got upstairs,
you can help me get
into my bridesmaid's dress.
Two, that's favouritism.
Indeed it is, Mr McAloon.
This young man needs building up.
(I think the two of you
are a match made in heaven.)
WHIRLY: Prepare yourselves.
You do, Whirly.
Do take that monstrosity off,
old girl.
I prefer you in
your usual boys' clothes.
Darling.
The dress is lovely, Phoebe.
McAloon's just saying that
to annoy Whirly.
It's his favourite hobby.
This is an utterly fine model.
You really needn't be
embarrassed about Mrs Munro.
She's a very attractive woman.
What's this I hear?
Whirly's Aunt Elspeth has her eyes
set on young James, here.
Positively smitten.
(Whirly. Whirly!)
Miss Tyson.
I have a special task for you.
A cancer-ridden sow is being
delivered today.
I want you to remove the tumours
and dissect them.
I'm expecting the delivery any
minute now in the courtyard. So...
Thank you, Professor Gunnell.
Gentlemen. Professor Richie has
an important announcement to make.
You'll all be aware of Mr Stokes.
No finer vet in this country.
However, recently,
he's been incapcitated with gout
and he's asked us
to look after his patients.
This is a unique opportunity.
It will help bring
much needed funds to the college.
And may well be the start
of a regular service in the area.
You will be doing the rounds in
pairs. So, get yourself a partner.
Preferably one you can trust.
If you do a good job,
you will gain valuable experience
and a share of the fees.
Proctor and Faraday,
you have a heifer with mastitis.
Muirhead and Skinner,
a sow with dropsy.
And we've a case of bovine farcy.
Ah, Campbell and Fraser, very good.
McAloon and Herriot,
you have a sheep which has had
an altercation with a bicycle.
ALL LAUGH
Just our luck.
Whereabouts is this sheep,
Professor Richie?
It's the Swinney farm
on Fenwick Moor.
Then surely we must have a car?
Well, Mr Stokes has kindly
left us his.
You'll find it
outside in the courtyard.
Thank you. And good luck to you all.
Where'd Miss Tyson go? I thought
this would be perfect for her.
I felt her dissection skills
could do with brushing up.
And I have the perfect specimen
coming in today.
Excellent.
Where are you two off to?
We, dear Whirly,
are off for a drive in the country.
Fenwick Moor.
James, you were right
about Phoebe cheering up.
She's worried because
two of her father's heifers
aborted their calves yesterday.
Two. I know. It's very odd.
It's going to make things
really hard for them on the farm.
One scabby sheep.
No pun intended, but you do know
that this job is largely
about pulling the wool?
That's a bit cynical.
Even for you, McAloon.
No one wants to pay us, so you need
to look every inch the expert,
even if you haven't a clue. Which,
in your case, is bang on the money.
Right.
That way.
Where we going?
Just a short detour.
Whirly said there's a problem
at Phoebe's farm. Oh!
You're such a soft touch, Herriot.
Let's just see the damned sheep
and get back to the pub.
It could be a bit more exciting
than a sheep
that's been hit by a bicycle.
A dairy herd. 30 beasts.
That's not the kind of excitement
I'm after. If there's a problem,
there could be money in it for us.
James Herriot,
you have said the magic word.
Yeah. Thought so.
It doesn't look good.
Indeed.
Looks nearly full term. Hmm.
Who the hell are you?
You're trespassing.
Mr Murdoch, we're from
the Glasgow Veterinary College.
I'm James Herriot.
We've heard you've had
some trouble with your cows.
Phoebe's friend,
Whirly Tyson, told us.
Two of your cows have slipped
their calves.
My daughter has no business... For a
reasonable fee, Mr Murdoch, we can...
I am not spending a fortune for
you to tell me what I already know.
Now, excuse me.
Oh, well, time is money,
let's move on swiftly.
It looks like you could do with
some veterinary help, Mr Murdoch.
That calf's nearly full term,
do you know what happened?
James, you're never going
to persuade him, let's leave.
James!
There, lass.
Have you not finished yet?
Almost, Mr Murdoch.
I thought I told you two to sod off.
What do you think's wrong, Mr...?
Murray. Ah, Desmond. James Herriot.
A couple of the cows have slipped
their calves. Happens all the time.
It's mother nature.
This'll see them all right.
Well, there you have it, then.
Are you a vet, sir?
Yes. Can I ask where you trained?
I've learnt with these.
I've been fixing animals
since you were in short trousers.
How many years have you been tending
to animals?
What's in the bottle? It's cow
medicine. What's that exactly?
Yeah, I've just about had my fill
of you.
Come on, give me a hand here,
man, come on.
There, lady. Shh, shh, shh.
Come on, James.
COW GROANS
My turn to drive, old boy.
Would you mind? Tch. Thank you.
That man, Desmond, doesn't have
a clue. Well, he can join the club.
You see his face when I asked him
what was in this thing?
Tad blank, I agree.
God, what a complete waste
of our time. Thank you, Whirly Tyson!
Whirly, are you still here?
Yes, never was any pig.
Gunnell's made a complete fool
out of me. Of course he has.
What a fool. He shouldn't be allowed
to treat women differently.
Honestly, Whirly,
the way you stand up to people...
this country needs people like you
who fight for what they believe in.
Thank you, Jenny.
Just through here.
We call her Lilian.
She was our daughter's little lamb.
She lives in Canada now.
Saskatchewan.
We haven't heard from her in years.
Lilian's the only living thing
we have to remind us of her.
Clearly a much-loved, family animal,
Mrs Swinney.
She's a lot more than that.
Indeed she is.
Now, if you wouldn't mind
standing outside for a while,
Mr and Mrs Swinney, my colleague,
vet Herriot,
and I would like to examine Lilian
properly.
Yes, of course,
you must be prepared...
if she is... very badly injured...
it will be best to put her
to sleep.
Thank you.
Are you mad?
They're getting sentimental over
a sheep. It's a surrogate daughter!
This could be an excellent
money-spinner for us.
Robert McAloon, we are not letting
an animal suffer to make money.
Who says she's going to suffer?
Oh, for God's sake, Herriot,
you need the cash more than I do.
Take notes.
Investigation commencing, 11:58.
I suppose you're enjoying
having a laugh at my expense.
How dare you speak to me like that.
You said the pig was being delivered
first thing. Did I?
Well, perhaps I was wrong.
Yes, deliberately.
Because you wanted me to miss out
on the experience
all the other students were getting.
Miss Tyson, I have never heard the
like. Don't give me that, you liar.
I know exactly what you've done.
Miss Tyson. You're running amok.
Apologise to Professor Gunnell
immediately.
Damned if I will, you're
just as bad as he is, this college.
It's just one big, old boys' club.
Professor Gunnell wanted to give you
badly needed practical help.
You've no cause to impune
his integrity.
Now, please go.
No sign of any broken bones.
Might just be shock,
she may recover in her own time.
We won't get paid a fee
for that diagnosis.
Can't we think of something more...
complicated?
More expensive. No.
Listless, not eating,
no eye response.
Surely I can find something in the
college library with those symptoms.
I'm sorry,
can't cheat the old couple.
Look at this plate. The sheep eats
better than you, old man.
The Swinney's clearly aren't
short of a bob or two.
KNOCK ON DOOR
Mr and Mrs Swinney.
The good news is there are no obvious
signs of internal injuries.
It may be, er, psychological.
Vet Herriot and I shall return
to our surgery
and consult with the specialist
in this area.
Don't worry, we'll do everything
we can to save her.
Thank you, Mr McAloon. Cheers.
Ah.
You should apologise, Whirly.
I'm sick of apologising to Gunnell
for what he's done.
The man hates me and I hate him.
But what you said to Richie?
Not my finest hour, I agree.
You know Richie wouldn't
tolerate discrimination,
he's hardly the old boys' club type.
We went to the Murdochs' farm,
like you asked. And?
Phoebe's future husband was there.
I didn't think very much of him.
Desmond?
I told you, he's a lovely chap.
Phoebe adores him. Ay, he's a fake.
James, he was responsible
for looking after horses
in the Great War. So he says.
It's true and he suffered
terrible shell-shock.
That injury,
you think he made it up?
He became a recluse, for God's sake.
It was Phoebe who saved his life.
Well, I wouldn't trust
a thing the man says.
You don't know
what you're talking about.
He's well-respected by farmers.
Well, his own future father-in-law
didn't seem
to respect him very much.
Old Murdoch doesn't think anyone's
any good, apart from himself.
He's a bully, just like Gunnell.
It looks like snake oil to me.
I suspect a home-made
brew of ingredients,
easily purchased on
every high street in the land.
(Knew he was a quack.)
A Mr Desmond Murray
at the Murdoch's farm
is pretending to be a vet,
professor. Uh-huh.
There are a lot of men
who call themselves vets
who don't have
the scientific qualifications.
But they often have good instincts
and experience.
Apparently he looked after
animals in the Great War.
I wish we'd stop calling that
imperialist disaster "great".
It was the ugliest, least great event
you could ever imagine.
A scar on this country's history.
You fought in the War, professor?
Swept up in a great, patriotic
fervour. I was naive, Mr Herriot.
The prerogative of youth.
If this Mr Murray's experience was
anything like my own,
he has my profound sympathy.
He has been badly injured.
Part of his face has been...
shot away.
Imagine having to live with that.
Now, give that tincture to Mr Gakhal.
He'll give you a scientific opinion.
And after you do, why not
spend the rest of the evening
reading about the "Great War",
as you call it?
You need to know your history,
Mr Herriot.
To see why, in this country
and the rest of Europe,
there are very dark forces
on the rise.
Oh, Professor Richie?
You know I'm a good friend
of Whirly Tyson.
Do you think Professor Gunnell's
trying to get rid of her
from this college?
I can't believe that for a moment.
Maybe we should try and see things
from Whirly's point of view?
Miss Tyson must learn to marshal
an argument.
Not charge about like a raging bull.
You see the silvery deposit? Uh-huh.
That tells us there's arsenic
in the mixture. Arsenic.
That's lethal.
Isn't it? No, not always.
If the dosage is very, very tiny.
Most of the liquid is a mixture
of beer and linseed oil.
I do not think that this will
be helping the cows at all.
In fact,
it could very well be harming them.
Yes, yes! James! I found a treatment
that fits the sheep's symptoms.
James? Did you hear me? Uh-huh.
Your financial worries are over.
We can keep Lilian living in sheepy
luxury and watch the fees roll in.
Lilian wins, the Swinneys win
and, more importantly, we win.
I'm sorry, McAloon, you'll have
to deal with the Swinneys yourself.
Please yourself. If your prefer to be
on the breadline then so be it.
See you back at Mrs M's.
James?
Still here?
Jenny.
What are you reading that for?
Professor Richie gave it to me.
Typical.
Pacifist claptrap.
We've millions of dead soldiers
and he feels sorry for the Germans!
Maybe he's trying to recruit you.
To what? To the Bolshevik cause.
I don't think Professor Richie has
that much regard for me.
Unlike a certain landlady
we could mention.
Jenny, I swear McAloon's making
the whole thing up.
I haven't gone
anywhere near Mrs Munro.
Have you gone anywhere near
any other women?
I've had a girlfriend.
In fact, I've had more than one.
JENNY LAUGHS
That doesn't surprise me at all,
James.
All Quiet On The Western Front.
(Whirly. Whirly.)
Ah, Whirly,
are you doing anything tomorrow?
No, I'm afraid she's going to
be at the college
waiting for phantom carcasses.
Hm-hm-hm-ha. Would you accompany me
to the Murdochs' farm?
It's just I'm a little wary
of Mr Murdoch's temper.
Don't worry,
James, I'll protect you.
Ah, you're a pal.
Goodnight, you two.
So, have you chosen
an escort for Phoebe's wedding?
I haven't decided yet.
Could be Camaron, could be
Faraday, could be James.
Oh, no, it won't be James.
Your aunt told me she's going to
ask him out for dinner on Saturday.
James isn't interested
in Aunt Elspeth.
Well, ask him yourself, Whirly.
All that spluttering denial..
Don't you think Mr Herriot protested
too much?
(Do you know,
I think he might be after her money.)
God knows he needs it.
I, therefore, offer myself.
Why the hell not?
What?
Oh, Mrs Munro!
Ummm.
Sorry, Mrs Munro.
James, darling. Pass me my robe.
Er.
James!
Thank you, James.
You're so delightful.
Phh, ha. Good for you, young James.
Didn't know you had it in you.
Chucking us out here.
Can't keep Lilian the sheep waiting.
You monster.
Darling Whirly, try not to harangue
Farmer Murdoch like you did Gunnell.
You'll just end up with egg
on your face. Gunnell set me up.
Old Gunnell isn't going to
waste his time sending you
on a wild goose chase.
That's exactly what he did.
This isn't a game.
Eugh. Another TT, Tyson Tantrum.
I don't know what
I was thinking of last night,
I won't be taking you to Phoebe's
wedding, I'd sooner take Gunnell.
You asked for that.
Hello, Mr Murdoch. Tyson.
If you've come to see our Phoebe,
go away inside.
The last thing I need is
an interfering student
from the vet college.
This so-called cure, Mr Murdoch...
It's got arsenic in it. Eh?
As if I'm going to poison
my own father-in-law's herd.
We've had it tested
in the college lab.
Well? Tell him what's in it.
Come on, Desmond, we're all waiting.
Tell him what's in it, man!
You don't know, do you?
It's a secret. It's good medicine.
I think you'd better go.
Destroying my herd! Father, what's
going on? You tell her, you bastard.
No! Phoebe, stop it. No! Tell her
what you have done to us all.
That man said there was poison
in the bottle.
There can't have been poison in it,
I've used it for years on horses.
You, just stay away from us and
you never go near our Phoebe again.
And to think...
I was going to let you run my farm.
Well, you have proven yourself unfit!
And the wedding's off.
It's not your place to cancel
the wedding, Mr Murdoch.
I will do what I want.
Desmond, I'm coming with you.
Aye, fine, go on, run away with a man
that ruined your mother and me.
Don't leave us, Phoebe. I cannot
cope without you. I'm sorry, mother.
I can't live without him.
Let her go.
You're making me choose, father.
I don't want this.
I can't take you
from your own family.
You're my family now.
Come on.
Remember, Phoebe,
you're no daughter of mine now.
There may be a lot longer in the old
girl yet. You're a marvel, son.
With this, the three of you can
while away the days together.
Tincture of ergot.
Put it in her milk.
With a drop of whisky.
Of course, I'll need to check up
on her regularly. Oh, certainly.
I don't think Mr Stokes would
understand all this effort
to keep a sheep alive.
Stokes'll be shown the door.
You have our total faith,
Mr McAloon.
Right.
Let's say half a crown for today's
visit, sixpence for the medicine
and I'll only charge you
two shillings for my last visit.
My assistant's very cheap.
I can't believe
she's left her family.
Because of my meddling.
Where do you think they've gone?
Desmond's got a place at Carbeth.
What a mess. I'll have to go back.
Why? To cause more havoc?
You couldn't help yourself,
could you?
Sometimes, James,
you're like a dog with a bone.
Well, I can't walk away now.
Has anyone ever told you
how annoying you are?
Yes.
You.
Ah.
God knows how many of them
are still to abort.
Come on, farmer's daughter,
lead the way.
COW GROANS
Feel the swelling on that.
Could it be caused by poisoning?
It's almost like arthritis.
Whirly, she's sweating.
Yes, just like Murdoch.
James, let's take some swaps
back to the lab,
see if they can come up with
anything.
I want to see this lab of yours.
There's no poison in here.
That's exactly what's in there. You
really don't know what you're doing.
How dare you?
You're a danger to those animals.
Ah! Mother nature!
Let me show you the test.
Believe me, sir,
this substance is arsenic.
But I paid good money for it.
When I give it horses,
they always look healthier.
That's because a little arsenic
will strengthen them.
Give them a shiny coat,
if used once or twice.
Any more than that makes them sick.
And more than that...
will kill them dead.
Mr Murray?
Desmond,
you should get home to Phoebe.
And tell her
I poisoned her father's herd?
From what I hear,
she loves you very much.
She's the light of my life,
Mr Herriot.
I'm nothing without her.
But what's she going
to think of me now?
JAMES SIGHS
LAUGHTER
So you've spent all this time
on one sheep?
Professor Richie, um,
well, i-it's, er,
it's a very important sheep
to the family.
And, er, they're grateful to
the college for all the attention
that I've given her.
It. Yes, I've heard from Mr Stokes.
The Swinneys don't want
his services.
Well, apparently,
you're very expensive, Mr McAloon?
Five shillings for two visits.
But worth every penny(!)
It's a very complicated case.
And what was the ailment exactly?
Um.
Er, a psychological breakdown. Ah.
I despair of you, McAloon.
It seemed to reassure the Swinneys.
I shall expect a large donation
to the college library.
Pfff. Oh, that's unless you want me
to apprise Professor Legge
of your money-making schemes?
No, sir.
No.
We got them from the Murdochs' farm.
It must be Bang's bacillus.
Sweating, swollen joints,
calves aborting early.
And I believe Mr Murdoch's
got it as well.
Well, from your description of
the symptoms, it seems most likely.
I knew it. Give me time to do
the tests. Thanks, Jagdeep.
Donald, I'll have to
forego our drinks later.
She's in here.
Yes.
Hmm.
COW GROANS
Aah.
Bang's bacillus. Eh?
No doubt about it.
You'll have to separate the sweating
cows from the rest of the herd
and slaughter them.
Are you mad, man? I can't kill live,
healthy animals. They're in calf.
I'll lose everything. I've given
you my best advice, Mr Murdoch.
If you act fast, you may save some.
And if I don't?
There's no known cure, I'm afraid.
It'll spread to
the rest of the herd.
They'll be no calves,
no milk for at least two years.
It'll be the end of your farm.
That'll be five shillings.
Ah, James!
Mr McAloon has told me of
your great liking of fine food.
So, I intend to treat you to lunch
at Regano's restaurant on Saturday.
Oh, ha-ha-ha. Thank you,
but I couldn't, Mrs Munro.
Oh, am I hearing things?
An invitation to the best restaurant
in Glasgow turned down flat?
How could you, James?
Er.
I don't have anything to wear.
I have kept my husband's wardrobe
all these years.
You shall have
one of his dress suits.
Go on, James, fatten yourself
up at Aunt Elspeth's expense. Yes.
You don't have to worry about
Whirly and me,
we'll make our own entertainment,
won't we, Whirly?
If we have to.
Thank you, Mrs Munro. I will
accept your invitation to lunch.
I think blue would suit you, James.
Bring out the colour of your eyes.
TELEPHONE RINGS
Hello?
Yes, he is.
Mr McAloon, telephone call for you.
Uh!
That does sound serious, Mr Swinney.
I understand completely.
Lilian is most definitely special.
You have my word. As a vet.
I will be leaving immediately.
Seems like the old girl's taken
a turn for the worse.
You don't fancy being a charm
and helping me investigate, do you?
I get to drive?
Obviously much iller than I thought.
Still, we've had a few more hours
of her company. Thanks to you.
I don't think I have to explain
what's best here.
She'll suffer no pain. I promise you.
I shall administer
a very generous dose.
Just to make sure.
Mr McAloon, we're not wanting Lilian
sent to the knacker's yard.
If it's all the same to you,
we want to have her cremated.
MRS SWINNEY SOBS
Desmond?
You can't stay here. It's not right.
Well, we can't afford to put me up
in a fancy hotel, can we?
I can't do this to your father.
He took me in and I've poisoned his
livestock. Some thanks. You didn't.
You were making them better.
All I've got is this shack.
My reputation's been trashed. All
I can give you is a life of misery.
I'm not having you talk
such rubbish. We've got each other.
Get it into your head, woman,
I don't want you.
Don't speak to me like that,
Desmond.
The only reason I was with was
to get the farm from your father.
No. I was using you. And now,
you're no use to me, understand?
Get yourself back to your family.
I don't love you. I never have.
Phoebe!
He's thrown me out, Whirly. What?
Desmond doesn't want to go through
with the wedding.
He said he didn't love me.
Well, that can't be true.
He was only after me
for my father's farm.
Phoebe, he told me he adores you.
He lied to you.
Like he's lied to me all this time.
You can stay here tonight.
I'll get you a wee drink.
Miss Tyson. You were right.
It's Bang's bacillus. I knew it.
And the arsenic?
It was making them worse, yes?
There is arsenic in the medicine
and it would've made them ill
eventually, but it didn't
give them swollen joints.
And it wasn't making the cows abort.
You made a mistake, James.
It happens.
What about Desmond and Phoebe?
What have I done?
We will have to tell the Murdochs.
Oh, no need for that. Sorry?
Well, fortunately for the Murdochs,
I was able to diagnose
the problem last night.
You went to the Murdochs' farm?
I did.
Yes,
after you heard about my diagnosis!
Miss Tyson, a man of my experience
understands all too well
the dangers of Bang's bacillus.
It was my duty to inform them
at the earliest opportunity.
You cannot take risks here.
I recommended he slaughter
the infected cows.
You did it to thwart me.
To thwart you?
A ridiculous accusation.
And you witnessed it all, Donald?
Professor Gunnell could hardly
have been more accommodating.
I've tried very hard to reach out
to Miss Tyson.
Alas,
she's thrown it back in my face.
There's no doubt she's a headstrong,
young woman,
but perhaps there's justification
for her anger.
What are you suggesting, professor?
It can't be easy being in
a minority of two in the college.
And, you've said yourself,
you don't want women in your classes.
Desmond?
Desmond, it's James. Leave me alone.
You didn't kill those calves.
Desmond?
Did you hear me?
You're not responsible.
They would have aborted
whatever you gave them.
It's a disease
called Bang's bacillus.
It's a very serious...
Yup, I know what it is.
But you said I poisoned the cows.
You proved it.
You would have poisoned them
eventually.
Just stick to farming, Desmond.
That's what you know.
And then maybe you'll leave
the vetting to the vets.
We just have to hope
you get it right?
I jumped to conclusions.
You know, this is the... this is
the coward's way out.
Cos Phoebe needs you,
the whole family needs you.
And, yes, I made a mistake,
but you're the one
that helped me make it,
cos you only said the things
you thought Mr Murdoch
wanted to hear,
not what you believed yourself.
You know,
you'd hardly believe it but...
I used to be a brave man once.
Well, you're all going to need guts
because...
your future father-in-law's
been advised to slaughter
the infected cattle.
Are you feeling all right, Quintin?
ECHOED RINGING
MUFFLED LAUGHTER
Professor Gunnell!
What are you doing here?
This is for women only.
HE GROANS
Is there something wrong, professor?
Uh. Oh.
HE RETCHES
Argh.
COWS MOO
Mr Murdoch! Don't do it!
What are you talking about?
There's another way.
All we need is to keep
the infected cattle separated.
In time, they'll cure themselves.
It's just essential
they don't infect any other cattle.
Believe me, I've done this before.
I just wish I'd spotted
the signs earlier.
But your Professor Gunnell,
he said different.
Professor Gunnell is a pathologist.
His speciality's dead animals.
Desmond cares about this farm.
Give me a chance to prove myself.
Phoebe.
I need to talk to you. Why?
Since you've never loved me.
I'm sorry.
I didn't mean a word of it.
I love you so much.
I'm going to marry you.
And we're going to run this farm.
Together.
Oh, I do so miss the sun.
Not that muffled glow
Glasgow occasionally offers.
Oh, and this one,
Charles in the south of France.
Looking so handsome. Hm.
You make a very stylish couple.
Perhaps what you need is a holiday.
I mean, I can look after this place.
Oh, no, I couldn't possibly.
I know it sounds foolish but...
this place is where I feel closest
to Charles.
Wouldn't he want you to go?
Want you to enjoy things?
No, it would feel like a betrayal.
No, the world will just have
to continue to come to me.
Five years ago,
you promised us this farm.
It's time you honoured your word.
I'll decide when you get the farm.
Look at yourself, Fraser.
This place has nearly killed you!
Give him time, Father.
Mr Murdoch?
I think Desmond has an instinct
for animals.
This farm could thrive with him
in charge.
Well, you heard the man.
It's time to let it go!
I'll not be far away.
Son.
Phoebe and I'd be really pleased
if you'd agree to be
guest of honour at our wedding.
How could I refuse?
Thank you. And do bring your lady
friend, James. If you have one.
Ah, James.
Whirly and I have been waiting up
for you.
Well, the choice is yours.
Hm? For our luncheon date.
Ooh. Oh.
Er, sorry, Mrs Munro, but I have
another engagement for Saturday.
I'm to be guest of honour
for Phoebe's wedding. It's back on!
That's wonderful news.
In that case, Mr McAloon,
I shall allow you to accompany me
to Regano's.
Well, no, I was actually going to
accompany Whirly to...
Oh, no, no, I couldn't deprive
Aunt Elspeth of a male companion.
There. Then, you and I very much
have a date, Mr McAloon.
Excellent.
Mrs Munro?
If I may be so forward as to ask
to borrow
one of your late husband's suits
for the wedding?
I shall look forward
to seeing you in it.
Thank you.
And if I may use the telephone,
please?
Oh, if you're brief. Yes.
Hello? Jenny?
Jenny, yeah, it's James.
Herriot. James Herriot.
Yeah, no, um, I have been
invited to a wedding. Yes.
And, and, and I was hoping that
you would agree to come with me.
Oh, that's wonderful. That is
just the cat's pyjamas. Y-Yes, yes.
No, no, you take care and I'll...
Hello? Jenny?
Jennifer? Jennifer?
It's like my Charles,
standing there, all over again.
DOOR OPENS
Well, look at you! Mr McAloon?
Come and have a look at this.
Aunt Elspeth!
Miss Whirly Tyson!
Hello!
Come on, we should go.
Have fun.
FIDDLE PLAYS
Thank you.
Ladies and gentlemen,
the beautiful Mr and Mrs Murray!
ALL CHEER AND APPLAUD
JENNY: Congratulations.
KNOCK ON DOOR
Mrs Munro? Your transport awaits.
I'm, um, I'm having second thoughts.
All that fetid air
and traffic noise.
I rather had my heart set
on Regano's famous oysters.
Very well.
Just a ten second walk
to the comfort of the car.
Hmm. Here we are.
Good afternoon.
Mrs Munro.
SHEEP BAAS
I-I-I swear I s-saw a sheep.
No, no, it must be the, er,
shock of the fresh air, Mrs M.
Th-th-there's something in there.
Maybe you should, um,
you should've stayed indoors.
Yes, here we are.
Right.
No oysters for me, then.
You brought Lilian's ashes?
Better than that, Mr Swinney.
Are you both prepared
for the surprise of your lives?
It's a miracle!
Rather than prosaic than that,
I fear.
That sedative I gave her must have
put her to sleep and, perhaps,
it's given her body time
to heal itself.
I think that's a veritable spring
in her step, don't you think?
Oh, you're a genius, young sir.
Sadly, the opposite is the case,
Mrs Swinney.
To be honest, I've rather been
flying by the seat of my pants.
Never.
I think having told you
Lilian was dead
while she was very much alive
is evidence enough of that.
My advice, if you'll take it,
is to stick with Mr Stokes.
I doubt he would have made
the same mistake I did.
Ah, come away inside and we'll get
you a drink and something to eat.
And we got a telegram
from our daughter.
We'll tell you all about it. Very
tempting, though that is, Mr Swinney.
I have another fish to fry
this evening.
Mr McAloon, thank you so much.
Thank you. Goodbye.
Here, come on, come on.
Ha-ha-ha-ha.
FIDDLE CONTINUES TO PLAY
Come on. This is my favourite.
On your lonesome again, Whirly?
You should've taken me up
on my offer.
Be quiet and dance.
Doing anything next Friday?
Actually, I have an engagement.
Well, more of a fundraising event,
really.
And, given your new
interest in politics,
perhaps you might find it
quite stimulating.
Mother! Father! Five generations of
Muirheads have bred Gordon Setters.
You've plenty to worry about
with this misconduct hearing today.
She tried to poison me. Me!
The vice principal of the college.
What about this misconduct hearing?
Are you in or out?
The jury's weighing it up.
But one thing's in my favour.
Jenny Muirhead's in there,
fighting my corner.
I'm afraid, this is a little awkward.
Why awkward?
How would you like to come
and work at the kennels?
DOGS BARK
To friends!
ALL: To friends!