Yellowjackets (2021–…): Season 1, Episode 2 - Episode #1.2 - full transcript
Buzz! Buzz! Buzz! Buzz! Buzz!
We're going
to motherfucking nationals!
All I know is that what happened
- was a tragedy.
- Those girls were special.
- Hustle up.
- It's gonna be a long flight.
- They were champions.
- I fucking love you, Jackie.
If we're each other's first,
- then we'll be linked forever.
- Jeff's a virgin?
Shauna Shipman.
You're the only one who's always
been there for me.
Jeff, pull over.
I thought
we weren't doing this again.
Tell me you love me.
I love you, Shauna.
The plane crashed.
A bunch of my friends died,
and the rest of us
starved and scavenged
and prayed for 19 months
until they finally found us.
I'm Taissa Turner,
and as State Senator,
I want to lead New Jersey
out of the wilderness.
We agreed.
Stay out of the public eye.
Have you talked to Nat?
She's in rehab, again.
After they rescued us, I...
I lost my purpose.
I finally know
how to get it back.
Buzz! Buzz! Buzz!
Buzz! Buzz!
The Lord is my shepherd,
and even though I walk
through the valley
of the shadow of death...
- We'll reset after 30 seconds.
- Confirm.
- 22 out. Speed brake!
- Speed brake.
Dump fuel.-
Dumping fuel!
Except for you
Don't ever let anyone
step all over you
Just open your heart...
Hello?
Misty! Oh, my gosh. Hi.
What do you want, Becky?
Sorry. I'm sure
you're, like, so busy.
We just thought you should
know that Robbie Delgado...
He's telling everybody
you two did anal
in the janitor's closet.
Well, for your information,
I've never even been
in the janitor's closet.
So where'd you guys do it then?
I didn't...
I didn't do anal
with Robbie Delgado.
But you've done it
with somebody else.
Do you, like, love anal?
No. No, I-I've never...
You know what I think?
I think you wish someone
would do anal to you, Misty.
Only, you're too ugly
to, like, find a victim.
Ah. Mm.
You can think what you want.
Opinion is the wilderness
between knowledge and ignorance.
That's Plato.
Oh, my gosh.
You're such a fucking weirdo.
Until then, baby...
Come on.
- Come on.
- Come on. Go.
Please, God.
Push it out! Push it out!
Shauna. Shauna, get the fuck up!
- Push! Push!
- Come on, come on. Go, go, go!
Help! Help, help!
- Help.
- Help me, help me, help me.
- It's Van.
- I'm stuck!
- We have to help her.
- I can't breathe!
- I'm coming, Van!
- Help me! Help me!
- Help me!
- I'm coming.
Come on. Oh, God.
It's stuck.
- I can't get out!
- Can't get out.
- Hurry up!
- Oh, my God!
Shauna, we got to go.
We got to go.-
- Shauna, we have to go!
- Shauna! No!
Shauna!
We have to go back inside!
- Have you seen Van?
- Sorry.
- Has anybody seen...?
- Have you seen Van?
Have you? Van?
Van?
Help!
Coach Scott.
Coach Scott!
Help!
I'm coming!
Coming. Oh!
Coming! Coach. Coach!
Let me see.
- Hey, girls, is it, uh...?
- Yeah?
Can you move it?
- Yeah.
- Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Here. Come on. Come on.
- Come on.
- Okay.
Okay. Okay.
Oh, fucking God!
Coach?
- Coach!
- Coach? Coach?
- Shauna, please.
- There's nothing we could do.
Jesus.
Coach.
Surprise.
Van.
- Van!
- Ty.
What the fuck?
Help me move him!
I'm hungry, I'm dirty
I'm losing my mind,
everything's fine!
Bubble baths.
Walks in the rain.
Muscular calves.
Escalators.
Knuckles. Steamed clams.
Obviously.
But enough about me.
What turns you on, Stan?
Oh. Uh...
I don't know, just, uh...
the usual stuff.
Hair?
Oh. Well.
I can work with that.
- Another Rioja, hon?
- No, that's, uh...
- That'd be great.
- It's just,
I have to be up
kind of early tomorrow, so...
I-It's six o'clock.
And I thought you said
that you just got fired.
Well, technically I said
- there were some...
- intradepartmental
redundancies post-merger, so,
you know, I wasn't really fired
so much as it's, uh...
What the hell?
I suppose one more drink
won't kill me.
And did we want to take
a look at some menus?
Oh, I think just...
I honestly don't see
how we couldn't.
Like this, got it?
As much as you can and fast.
We're gonna need
to change the bandages soon.
And then hourly after that.
If he even lives that long.
Don't say that.
- Just...
- just, uh, keep ripping them up.
Okay?
Yeah. Good, good, good.
Ow. Watch it.
Hold still, then.
- No, no, no.
- It's-it's too loose, here.
Fuck.
You need to... stop the bleeding
without cutting off
the circulation.
How do you know how
to do all this?
I took the Red Cross
babysitter training class.
Twice.
Okay.
Okay.
All right,
bleeding's slowing down.
We need to disinfect it somehow.
Um, maybe something
from the bar cart?
There wasn't one.
- I mean, it was just soda.
- It's cheaper that way.
Maybe somebody brought
contraband.
Okay. Wow.
Well, did you?
Obviously.
But I stashed it
in my bag,
and God knows where that is now.
Guys, how about this?
Hey, that's m... Uh...
A great idea, Van.
Witch hazel, isopropyl alcohol.
Actually, this could work. Okay.
Lie back. Lie back.
Lie back.
Lie back. Lie back.
Oh, Jesus!
Fuck, my leg!
Oh, fuck!
Is it bad?
How bad is it?
Well, the good news is I...
You're gonna be fine, Coach.
You got pretty banged up, but
Misty's doing a really good job.
Right, Misty?
We have to tell him.
And freak him out worse?
Are you really that psyched
to tell him you chopped
his fucking leg off with an axe?
- Yeah?
- Hey. It's me.
Yeah. I know. Do you not know
how cell phones work?
- Are you home?
- Maybe.
Oh, do you not know
how being home works?
What do you want, Mom?
I just realized I forgot
to defrost the chuck.
Literally, what are you
even talking about?
- For dinner tomorrow.
- Can you just...
take it
out of the freezer, please?
- Fine, okay.
- What does it look like?
Like a little refrigerator
- on top of the big refrigerator.
- It's meat, Callie.
It looks like frozen meat.
Ah, fuck!
Callie...
I have to go. Sorry.
Who taught you how to drive?
- Are you okay?
- No, actually, I'm not.
Because you, sir,
are a fucking asshole.
Wow.
You know, usually it takes
people at least a few minutes
of conversation
to figure that out.
You're good.
What is, what is this?
Adorable?
Are you trying
to be adorable with me?
Does that usually work for you?
You know what, this...
this is not my fault, okay?
Because you can't just stop
without warning.
It is... it's crazy!
Look, I'm honestly
not sure what to do here.
Because, A, you rear-ended me,
so technically
this is your fault.
And B, that's literally
what taillights are for.
How do you know
your taillights aren't out?
Are they?
That's not the point. I...
You are so mad.
And yet so wrong.
Look, you clearly took
the worst of it here.
We probably don't need to get
our insurance involved.
Oh, God. Really?
You got a pen?
- A pen?
- Well, I figured
if I asked for your phone
I might end up in the hospital.
Oh. Okay, um...
Here you go.
That's the number
of a body shop.
I know a good guy there.
He owes me a favor.
Just give him a call.
He'll take care of you, okay?
Oh, okay.
I'm Adam, by the way.
Shauna.
So tell me, kids.
How's the sex?
Yeah, I...
we've just, um...
we've both been very busy...
- Yeah.
- ...recently.
- And Jeff's had a lot of...
- late nights,
- um, at work...
- Yeah, we've been having
a lot of problems
with the inventory database.
Back at the store.
Right. Well, I've said it before
and I'll say it again.
Marriage lives up here,
dies down here.
That's quite the catchphrase.
I want to assign you two
some real homework this week.
Not only are you gonna have sex,
but I want you
to share a fantasy
with each other... something
you've never shared before.
- No...
- Awesome.
I know you've been
together a very long time.
But that is all the more reason
to try something new.
Just trust me.
You may find...
you can still
surprise each other.
Well, this is me.
- Thanks for the ride home.
- I, uh...
I can't believe
my car wouldn't start.
Just one of those things,
I guess, so weird.
Well, this-this-this was, uh...
- Do you want to come inside?
- Um...
You could meet Caligula.
Um...
Oh. I see.
It's because you think I'm ugly.
What?
God, Misty, you're so stupid.
I...
I think you're...
y-you're very...
If you thought I was pretty,
you'd come inside.
So, is it just,
uh, the one bird, or...
Stan, you're so funny.
Now, Caligula is
a little protective of me,
but it's all for show.
He's a total sweetheart, really.
But do shield your eyes
if he comes at your face.
What?
Hello, Misty.
You crazy fucking bitch.
Okay, yeah. I'm out of here.
Hey, Nat.
It's been a while.
Yeah.
You haven't changed.
I take it you know why I'm here.
The postcard.
Yeah.
The fucking postcard.
So what does it mean?
You tell me.
Oh. You think...
Hold that thought.
I didn't send it, silly.
See? I got one, too.
It came in the mail
about a week ago.
It's from an online app,
so the postmark
on the envelope is useless.
How do I know you didn't
send it to yourself?
Well, I could ask you
the same thing, so...
I guess we'll just have
to believe each other.
So who's next
on your suspect list?
I have a lot of theories,
but do you want to go first?
Oh! Do you want
something to drink?
I've got tea,
I've got coconut La Croix,
I have sherry in the cupboard.
I'm gonna need something
a little stronger than that.
Oh, you got me a drink.
I can't believe
I've never been here before.
It's so, um... so edgy.
So what have you got?
Oh.
Well, if I've learned anything
in the citizen detective
community...
- The what?
- Citizen detective.
We're like, um, we're like
private investigators,
except for no one hired us
or asked for our help.
We work together online
to solve cold cases.
- Disappearances, murders.
- It's super fun.
So I've been asking myself,
"What does the person
who sent these postcards want?"
To scare us,
to mess with our heads.
Make us think about...
what happened out there.
It's obviously a threat.
Who's Jessica Roberts?
She claims to be a reporter,
but I think that's a lie.
She's been nosing around.
She claims
she has a book deal, but...
Well, how could
she know about...?
You know.
Maybe somebody talked.
You found Travis?
Oh... yeah.
Talk about someone
who didn't want to be found.
Here you go, ladies.
From the gentleman in the back.
Says it's your drink of choice.
Hey.
Hi.
Wow.
It really is you.
Hi!
- Hey. I'm, um...
- Kevyn.
- It's Misty. Misty Quigley.
- From third period Spanish.
Misty, right. Of course.
Man.
Natalie.
It's nice to see you.
Yeah. Yeah, you, too.
Sorry, is this a,
is this a bad time?
You in the middle of something?
- Mm-hmm.
- Right.
Got it.
Well, uh...
I don't know how long you're
in town for, but just in case,
I'll leave this.
If you maybe want
to maybe get a drink
another 20 years from now,
you'll know how to reach me.
Mm-hmm.
All right.
Dang. If somebody had told me
that's how goth freak
Kevyn Tan would grow up...
Didn't you two used
to be friends?
Best friends.
So you sure this is him?
Travis?
Yeah.
I don't know.
It's gonna hurt for a second.
Ready? One, two, three.
- Arm through. You got it.
- You got it. Come on, come on,
- come on, you got it.
- Man, Misty is awesome.
Dad?
Fuck. Javi!
- Dad?
- Go find Travis.
Now. Javi, stop!
Shit.
Travis, hey.
Your brother's trying
to get back on the plane.
I think he's looking
for your dad.
The door ripped open
when we were going down.
He was trying to help one of you
idiots put on an oxygen mask,
and, uh...
he fell out.
Yeah, well, that...
fucking sucks, but...
your brother's still here, so...
...maybe you should go help him.
Well, maybe you should mind
your own fucking business, hmm?
- I come bearing gifts.
- You're welcome.
Yes! Rumba's!
So this is your move?
You think you can miss
the parent-teacher conference
and just buy us off
with picadillo?
Oh, I know I can buy off Sammy.
With you it's more like cross
my fingers, hope for the best.
Well, we already ate
at, you know, dinnertime.
Which is why I got the
sandwiches for lunch tomorrow.
- And the...
- Pastelitos!
Pastelitos! For dessert.
I am sorry.
Goddamn strategy meetings.
So, how was it?
Did I miss anything big?
Uh, hey, kiddo.
Why don't you and Manny
take one of those pastelitos
and go watch some TV?
- Uh-oh.
- That can't be a good sign.
His teacher's concerned.
She says he's having
a hard time making friends.
- That's it?
- Yeah.
Do we know for sure
the other kids don't suck?
- Ty.
- I'm kidding.
- Obviously.
- I know.
But, I mean, I was kind
of a loner when I was his age.
There's nothing wrong
with a little self-reliance.
I should have been there.
But you really think there's
something to worry about here?
Maybe.
- I call it...
- I don't know.
Maybe putting him
in public school was a mistake.
No, no. Education is the
cornerstone of your platform,
and you are right.
If everybody who can just bails
on the public system...
What you're doing is important,
Ty. It matters.
What we're doing.
It's just been an adjustment,
that's all.
I'm used to you being there.
I'm always here.
I hate these buttons.
Oh, motherfucker.
Need a little help over there?
What, am I not surprising you
with how...
sexy this is?
You know, I was thinking...
...you know, about what the, uh,
the therapist said
earlier today,
with the whole... fantasy thing?
Yeah?
Yeah. I was... you know,
I was just thinking
maybe it-it could be
kind of hot if, uh,
you pretended
to be a customer at the store.
All right, your fantasy is
for me to pretend
to buy furniture?
- It's dumb.
- No. No, no, no.
- Hey.
- I don't know.
It's not. It's not dumb.
It's, um...
It's great.
- Let's try it.
- Yeah?
Yeah. Mm-hmm.
- All right.
- Okay.
All right.
I... You know, I think
I should leave my clothes on,
'cause I don't think I would
go shopping without them.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
Oh, I'll, uh, meet you halfway.
- Then we can... Yeah.
- Yeah.
Oh. Oh, okay.
Uh...
Pardon me.
- Okay. No. No, that's...
- Just,
I'm gonna do
something different. Okay.
Excuse me, sir.
I just can't do it.
- Nah, you're doing great.
- Maybe I should start.
- Yes.
- All right.
You... Mm-hmm.
Hi.
I, uh,
I couldn't help but notice
that you were eyeing
this credenza over here.
I'm the owner.
Hank.
I'm... Tabitha.
Well, it's a real pleasure
to meet you.
Is there anything special
that I can help you
with today, Tabitha?
Actually, yes.
I'm... here to make a return.
Why would you be
returning something?
Well... Well, I don't know.
Not as, like a...-
I don't know. Just a...
My-my armoire.
It's too big. I should
have taken measurements.
Are you making fun of me?
No. I'm not m...
I'm trying to...
I...
I just feel a little stupid.
- Right.
- Jeff.
Do you not think
it's a bit weird? It's, like...
What is this?
Nothing.
Just, I-I got into
a fender bender this afternoon,
and it was not a big deal.
We exchanged information,
- so it's just his...
- So, wait, wait, wait. You...
You got in an accident today?
And you're just
mentioning that now?
How bad was it, Shauna?
Like I just said,
it was not a big deal.
- I'm fine, by the way.
- I can see you're fine.
How about that armoire?
It's... not working.
No shit.
- Oh, my God.
- Where are you going?
I'm just gonna jerk off, watch
some SportsCenter before bed.
She hates me now.
Maybe just give her some time.
For the record,
I was trying to save you.
I thought that...
Yeah.
Oh, wait.
Oh, where's the other one?
They're supposed to be together.
Ah!
Oh. Oh.
Is this it?
Let's go.
Dad! Dad!
- Javi, Javi, Javi, come here.
- Dad?
Please.-
- It's Dad.
- Javi, Javi, Javi. Yeah.
Holy macaroni, is-is that...?
He's got to be dead, right?
What the fuck?
Don't look. Don't look.
Okay, who has the best arm?
- What?
- I do, Jackie.
- What?
- Thinking we could...
try and throw things at him
and see if he moves.
You want to throw rocks at Coach
who fell out of a fucking plane?
- I didn't say rocks.
- Someone's shoe or whatever.
Oh, yeah,
that's a fuck-ton smarter.
You're on fire today, Jackie.
Oh, wait. That was supposed
to be me, huh?
- What?
- Okay, guys, stop it.
We need a plan here.
We could lower him with ropes?
Vines, then? I don't know.
Fuck's sake,
Laura Lee, we're not gonna
- Tarzan him out of a tree.
- Oh...
- You got a better idea?
- Than shoes and vines?
Sure. Let's just cut
the fucking tree down.
Dad? Dad!
- No, don't!
- Travis, Travis, Travis!
Travis!
Hey, what the fuck, Javi? Here.
- Come here. Come here.
- Come on. Come down.
- Let him go!
- Come back down!
- This is all I could find, okay?
- So just
grab a corner
and if somebody falls on it.
- Travis, grab the...
- Travis.
- Travis.
- Stop.
Just come down.-
Okay.
Okay. Tie those down.
Dad?
Dad?
- Travis, get back!
- Get back!
So, the prince would like you
to read to him.
Apparently,
you're better at the voices.
Tell me he's opened his shades.
No, still refusing to.
It's like Dracula's crypt
in there.
Just as...
- All right, I'm going.
- I'm going. Let's go.
Scooch.
I'm sick of reading.
Since when?
You want to go to the park?
No.
- Why not?
- No friends.
I'm your friend, Sammy.
Hey, hold that up. Mm-hmm.
Ah.
Okay, let's see
if you can get this.
- Ah?
- A bunny?
That's right.
Um, how about...
this?
A snail?
Oh. You are good.
Um, oh, oh,
you will never get this one.
Mom?
Oh.
Um, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Um,
you know what? Let's-let's...
Let's go take a walk
around the block.
You can take your scooter.
Why did you do this?
Answer me.
So she can't see me.
Who?
The lady in the tree.
She watches me at night.
Look at me
and tell me what you mean.
I just did.
Sammy.
Sammy, Sammy, Sammy.
Yeah?
Hi.
Um, I'm sorry. Who is this?
Wow.
I guess I didn't make much
of an impression.
Oh. Okay.
I guess you've been thinking
about what you did,
and you just can't live
with yourself?
Do you not do "Hello"?
Hello, Guy Who Stopped Short.
Oh, hey, there, Rear-Ender.
Okay, I heard it.
I'll get to the point.
You never called the shop
about your fender.
How do you know that?
'Cause I'm the guy
who works there.
I thought the surprise
might be... adorable?
Oh, if you must know, I-I...
I just can't afford something
like that right now.
You can't afford free?
Wait. Are you serious?
- Yeah.
- If you have dinner with me.
What, no clever comeback?
No, thank you. No, thanks.
Look, Adam...
- My actual name?
- That's a good start.
I-I just can't.
I'm sorry.
No, um, I'm the sorry one.
I just thought...
What?
Well, you seemed like someone
who doesn't play by the rules,
Shauna.
What's that supposed to mean?
I'm an idiot.
Um, just forget it.
Enjoy the rest
of your... minivan.
Here.
How do you do
that cool dance?
Baby, don't split
those hot pants
I got these moves
that we can do to and sing
I don't look
too good in pink
I used to slash myself up
I like to play it tough...
Hello?
Travis?
Bottles breaking rough
You got
to handle that stuff...
I'm sorry. I think
you have the wrong number.
Yeah
Tear it up, rip it up,
kick it up
Yeah, yeah
Tear it up, rip it up,
kick it up
Yeah, yeah
Make your way to Berlin
I just wanted to be like, "Dude,
of course
it's cheap construction.
You bought a $300 sofa
made by blind kids
in Bangladesh.
What-what are you
expecting, man?
I mean, Altamura leather?
"Mortise and tenon joints?"
I'm sorry
if I'm interrupting you two
completely not giving a shit.
Jeff.
- So you are listening?
- Of course we're listening. Yes.
Callie, can you...?
Anything new in school?
Nope.
This chili is really
good tonight.
It's really good.
New recipe?
Actually, it is.
Callie forgot to take the meat
out of the freezer,
so I killed a rabbit
in the garden.
Skinned it chin to anus...
Jesus Christ, Mom.
Okay, you're in a mood.
You are so freaking weird.
"Glory Box" by Portishead
I'm so tired
Of playing
Playing with this bow
and arrow
Gonna give my heart away
Leave it to the other girls
To play
For I've been a temptress
Too long
Just give me a reason
To love you
Give me a reason
To be
A woman
I just want to be a woman
From this time, unchained
We're all looking
at a different picture
Through this new frame
of mine
A thousand flowers...
I'm sure the plane has
an emergency transmitter
sending out a distress signal.
They'll be here to rescue us
by morning.
And give us some room, yeah
Give me a reason...
Still...
maybe we should
conserve some food?
In case they don't get here
till later in the day?
To be...
You want to save the CornNuts?
I just want
to be a woman...
Mari, you okay?
Looks like you did Allie a
big favor by breaking her leg.
Sow
A little ten, tenderness
No matter if you cry...
I'm in the market for a new bed.
What?
Something... king-sized?
Oh, yeah?
Damn it, Shauna.
What about Callie?
She's at Kyle's.
So, um,
you should know,
my new bed needs
to be really sturdy,
so, we should probably...
test a few options.
Mm.
Mmm.
Mmm.
You okay, Laura Lee?
This is all my fault.
I did something really bad.
I kept screwing up
in my piano lesson last week.
Mrs. Brophy kept yelling at me.
"Sharp. F sharp. F sharp."
- I just...
- I couldn't take it anymore.
So I called her a bad word.
Just in my head, but...
God heard me.
Now we're all being punished.
What did you call her?
Cunt.
I steal shitty clothes
from T.J. Maxx.
- What?
- I return them,
and I get credit
that I never use, and I have
thousands of dollars
in T.J. bucks.
What? Really?
I, uh...
I used to sneak downstairs
after everybody had gone to bed
and watch the Color of Night
so I could pause it
on Bruce Willis's wang.
That is definitely
why we crashed.
I mean,
Jeff's not bad, but damn.
Right?-
That's so funny.
Hmm. Mm.
Misty.
Your leg is gone.
I chopped it off.
What?
I saved your life.
- No. No.
- But
you're not out of the woods yet.
No. No, that's not...
It's imposs...
What about you, Shipman?
Any secrets big enough
to crash a goddamn plane?
Um...
What the fuck, Misty?
I had to stop the bleeding
for good.
Well, thank you for shopping
with us, Tabitha.
Mmm.
You're welcome.
Mmm. I'm gonna take
a quick shower.
Okay. Great.-
You were just kidding
about the rabbit thing, right?
- Huh?
- Yeah.
- It's chicken.
- Obviously.
Oh.
Ooh, ooh
Ooh, ooh
I didn't know
Misty was capable of that.
No, no. I don't know how
Misty knows half of that shit,
but honestly, thank God.
Sorry. I just...
We would be so completely fucked
if she wasn't here.
Everything okay?
I was getting coffee,
and I... and I saw you.
Engine trouble?
Looks like it.
You going someplace?
Well, I'm off today
and tomorrow, too.
Just saying.
Where you going?
I was actually thinking of
taking a little trip up north.
To see Travis?
Oh... But your car.
Well...
I had some errands to run, but,
um, but you know, I could...
I could take you up there
if you wanted.
It could be like a road trip.
Fine. But I'm driving.
Do you prefer podcasts
or showtunes?
Why'd you buy two?
Oh, I always get two of things.
That way,
I'll have some to share.
Like candy bars and sandwiches,
New York style pretzels.
Uh, calzones
from the stromboli place,
those raspberry lemonades
from Michael's.
Everybody loves those.
Good pumpernickel
from the bagelry.
Don't ever let anyone
step all over you
Just open your heart
and your mind
Mmm
Is it really fair to feel
This way inside?
Whoa-
Someday somebody's
gonna make you want
To turn around
and say goodbye
Until then, baby,
are you gonna let 'em
Hold you down
and make you cry?
Don't you know
Don't you know
things can change?
Things will go your way
If you hold on
For one more day
Can you hold on for one...
We're going
to motherfucking nationals!
All I know is that what happened
- was a tragedy.
- Those girls were special.
- Hustle up.
- It's gonna be a long flight.
- They were champions.
- I fucking love you, Jackie.
If we're each other's first,
- then we'll be linked forever.
- Jeff's a virgin?
Shauna Shipman.
You're the only one who's always
been there for me.
Jeff, pull over.
I thought
we weren't doing this again.
Tell me you love me.
I love you, Shauna.
The plane crashed.
A bunch of my friends died,
and the rest of us
starved and scavenged
and prayed for 19 months
until they finally found us.
I'm Taissa Turner,
and as State Senator,
I want to lead New Jersey
out of the wilderness.
We agreed.
Stay out of the public eye.
Have you talked to Nat?
She's in rehab, again.
After they rescued us, I...
I lost my purpose.
I finally know
how to get it back.
Buzz! Buzz! Buzz!
Buzz! Buzz!
The Lord is my shepherd,
and even though I walk
through the valley
of the shadow of death...
- We'll reset after 30 seconds.
- Confirm.
- 22 out. Speed brake!
- Speed brake.
Dump fuel.-
Dumping fuel!
Except for you
Don't ever let anyone
step all over you
Just open your heart...
Hello?
Misty! Oh, my gosh. Hi.
What do you want, Becky?
Sorry. I'm sure
you're, like, so busy.
We just thought you should
know that Robbie Delgado...
He's telling everybody
you two did anal
in the janitor's closet.
Well, for your information,
I've never even been
in the janitor's closet.
So where'd you guys do it then?
I didn't...
I didn't do anal
with Robbie Delgado.
But you've done it
with somebody else.
Do you, like, love anal?
No. No, I-I've never...
You know what I think?
I think you wish someone
would do anal to you, Misty.
Only, you're too ugly
to, like, find a victim.
Ah. Mm.
You can think what you want.
Opinion is the wilderness
between knowledge and ignorance.
That's Plato.
Oh, my gosh.
You're such a fucking weirdo.
Until then, baby...
Come on.
- Come on.
- Come on. Go.
Please, God.
Push it out! Push it out!
Shauna. Shauna, get the fuck up!
- Push! Push!
- Come on, come on. Go, go, go!
Help! Help, help!
- Help.
- Help me, help me, help me.
- It's Van.
- I'm stuck!
- We have to help her.
- I can't breathe!
- I'm coming, Van!
- Help me! Help me!
- Help me!
- I'm coming.
Come on. Oh, God.
It's stuck.
- I can't get out!
- Can't get out.
- Hurry up!
- Oh, my God!
Shauna, we got to go.
We got to go.-
- Shauna, we have to go!
- Shauna! No!
Shauna!
We have to go back inside!
- Have you seen Van?
- Sorry.
- Has anybody seen...?
- Have you seen Van?
Have you? Van?
Van?
Help!
Coach Scott.
Coach Scott!
Help!
I'm coming!
Coming. Oh!
Coming! Coach. Coach!
Let me see.
- Hey, girls, is it, uh...?
- Yeah?
Can you move it?
- Yeah.
- Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Here. Come on. Come on.
- Come on.
- Okay.
Okay. Okay.
Oh, fucking God!
Coach?
- Coach!
- Coach? Coach?
- Shauna, please.
- There's nothing we could do.
Jesus.
Coach.
Surprise.
Van.
- Van!
- Ty.
What the fuck?
Help me move him!
I'm hungry, I'm dirty
I'm losing my mind,
everything's fine!
Bubble baths.
Walks in the rain.
Muscular calves.
Escalators.
Knuckles. Steamed clams.
Obviously.
But enough about me.
What turns you on, Stan?
Oh. Uh...
I don't know, just, uh...
the usual stuff.
Hair?
Oh. Well.
I can work with that.
- Another Rioja, hon?
- No, that's, uh...
- That'd be great.
- It's just,
I have to be up
kind of early tomorrow, so...
I-It's six o'clock.
And I thought you said
that you just got fired.
Well, technically I said
- there were some...
- intradepartmental
redundancies post-merger, so,
you know, I wasn't really fired
so much as it's, uh...
What the hell?
I suppose one more drink
won't kill me.
And did we want to take
a look at some menus?
Oh, I think just...
I honestly don't see
how we couldn't.
Like this, got it?
As much as you can and fast.
We're gonna need
to change the bandages soon.
And then hourly after that.
If he even lives that long.
Don't say that.
- Just...
- just, uh, keep ripping them up.
Okay?
Yeah. Good, good, good.
Ow. Watch it.
Hold still, then.
- No, no, no.
- It's-it's too loose, here.
Fuck.
You need to... stop the bleeding
without cutting off
the circulation.
How do you know how
to do all this?
I took the Red Cross
babysitter training class.
Twice.
Okay.
Okay.
All right,
bleeding's slowing down.
We need to disinfect it somehow.
Um, maybe something
from the bar cart?
There wasn't one.
- I mean, it was just soda.
- It's cheaper that way.
Maybe somebody brought
contraband.
Okay. Wow.
Well, did you?
Obviously.
But I stashed it
in my bag,
and God knows where that is now.
Guys, how about this?
Hey, that's m... Uh...
A great idea, Van.
Witch hazel, isopropyl alcohol.
Actually, this could work. Okay.
Lie back. Lie back.
Lie back.
Lie back. Lie back.
Oh, Jesus!
Fuck, my leg!
Oh, fuck!
Is it bad?
How bad is it?
Well, the good news is I...
You're gonna be fine, Coach.
You got pretty banged up, but
Misty's doing a really good job.
Right, Misty?
We have to tell him.
And freak him out worse?
Are you really that psyched
to tell him you chopped
his fucking leg off with an axe?
- Yeah?
- Hey. It's me.
Yeah. I know. Do you not know
how cell phones work?
- Are you home?
- Maybe.
Oh, do you not know
how being home works?
What do you want, Mom?
I just realized I forgot
to defrost the chuck.
Literally, what are you
even talking about?
- For dinner tomorrow.
- Can you just...
take it
out of the freezer, please?
- Fine, okay.
- What does it look like?
Like a little refrigerator
- on top of the big refrigerator.
- It's meat, Callie.
It looks like frozen meat.
Ah, fuck!
Callie...
I have to go. Sorry.
Who taught you how to drive?
- Are you okay?
- No, actually, I'm not.
Because you, sir,
are a fucking asshole.
Wow.
You know, usually it takes
people at least a few minutes
of conversation
to figure that out.
You're good.
What is, what is this?
Adorable?
Are you trying
to be adorable with me?
Does that usually work for you?
You know what, this...
this is not my fault, okay?
Because you can't just stop
without warning.
It is... it's crazy!
Look, I'm honestly
not sure what to do here.
Because, A, you rear-ended me,
so technically
this is your fault.
And B, that's literally
what taillights are for.
How do you know
your taillights aren't out?
Are they?
That's not the point. I...
You are so mad.
And yet so wrong.
Look, you clearly took
the worst of it here.
We probably don't need to get
our insurance involved.
Oh, God. Really?
You got a pen?
- A pen?
- Well, I figured
if I asked for your phone
I might end up in the hospital.
Oh. Okay, um...
Here you go.
That's the number
of a body shop.
I know a good guy there.
He owes me a favor.
Just give him a call.
He'll take care of you, okay?
Oh, okay.
I'm Adam, by the way.
Shauna.
So tell me, kids.
How's the sex?
Yeah, I...
we've just, um...
we've both been very busy...
- Yeah.
- ...recently.
- And Jeff's had a lot of...
- late nights,
- um, at work...
- Yeah, we've been having
a lot of problems
with the inventory database.
Back at the store.
Right. Well, I've said it before
and I'll say it again.
Marriage lives up here,
dies down here.
That's quite the catchphrase.
I want to assign you two
some real homework this week.
Not only are you gonna have sex,
but I want you
to share a fantasy
with each other... something
you've never shared before.
- No...
- Awesome.
I know you've been
together a very long time.
But that is all the more reason
to try something new.
Just trust me.
You may find...
you can still
surprise each other.
Well, this is me.
- Thanks for the ride home.
- I, uh...
I can't believe
my car wouldn't start.
Just one of those things,
I guess, so weird.
Well, this-this-this was, uh...
- Do you want to come inside?
- Um...
You could meet Caligula.
Um...
Oh. I see.
It's because you think I'm ugly.
What?
God, Misty, you're so stupid.
I...
I think you're...
y-you're very...
If you thought I was pretty,
you'd come inside.
So, is it just,
uh, the one bird, or...
Stan, you're so funny.
Now, Caligula is
a little protective of me,
but it's all for show.
He's a total sweetheart, really.
But do shield your eyes
if he comes at your face.
What?
Hello, Misty.
You crazy fucking bitch.
Okay, yeah. I'm out of here.
Hey, Nat.
It's been a while.
Yeah.
You haven't changed.
I take it you know why I'm here.
The postcard.
Yeah.
The fucking postcard.
So what does it mean?
You tell me.
Oh. You think...
Hold that thought.
I didn't send it, silly.
See? I got one, too.
It came in the mail
about a week ago.
It's from an online app,
so the postmark
on the envelope is useless.
How do I know you didn't
send it to yourself?
Well, I could ask you
the same thing, so...
I guess we'll just have
to believe each other.
So who's next
on your suspect list?
I have a lot of theories,
but do you want to go first?
Oh! Do you want
something to drink?
I've got tea,
I've got coconut La Croix,
I have sherry in the cupboard.
I'm gonna need something
a little stronger than that.
Oh, you got me a drink.
I can't believe
I've never been here before.
It's so, um... so edgy.
So what have you got?
Oh.
Well, if I've learned anything
in the citizen detective
community...
- The what?
- Citizen detective.
We're like, um, we're like
private investigators,
except for no one hired us
or asked for our help.
We work together online
to solve cold cases.
- Disappearances, murders.
- It's super fun.
So I've been asking myself,
"What does the person
who sent these postcards want?"
To scare us,
to mess with our heads.
Make us think about...
what happened out there.
It's obviously a threat.
Who's Jessica Roberts?
She claims to be a reporter,
but I think that's a lie.
She's been nosing around.
She claims
she has a book deal, but...
Well, how could
she know about...?
You know.
Maybe somebody talked.
You found Travis?
Oh... yeah.
Talk about someone
who didn't want to be found.
Here you go, ladies.
From the gentleman in the back.
Says it's your drink of choice.
Hey.
Hi.
Wow.
It really is you.
Hi!
- Hey. I'm, um...
- Kevyn.
- It's Misty. Misty Quigley.
- From third period Spanish.
Misty, right. Of course.
Man.
Natalie.
It's nice to see you.
Yeah. Yeah, you, too.
Sorry, is this a,
is this a bad time?
You in the middle of something?
- Mm-hmm.
- Right.
Got it.
Well, uh...
I don't know how long you're
in town for, but just in case,
I'll leave this.
If you maybe want
to maybe get a drink
another 20 years from now,
you'll know how to reach me.
Mm-hmm.
All right.
Dang. If somebody had told me
that's how goth freak
Kevyn Tan would grow up...
Didn't you two used
to be friends?
Best friends.
So you sure this is him?
Travis?
Yeah.
I don't know.
It's gonna hurt for a second.
Ready? One, two, three.
- Arm through. You got it.
- You got it. Come on, come on,
- come on, you got it.
- Man, Misty is awesome.
Dad?
Fuck. Javi!
- Dad?
- Go find Travis.
Now. Javi, stop!
Shit.
Travis, hey.
Your brother's trying
to get back on the plane.
I think he's looking
for your dad.
The door ripped open
when we were going down.
He was trying to help one of you
idiots put on an oxygen mask,
and, uh...
he fell out.
Yeah, well, that...
fucking sucks, but...
your brother's still here, so...
...maybe you should go help him.
Well, maybe you should mind
your own fucking business, hmm?
- I come bearing gifts.
- You're welcome.
Yes! Rumba's!
So this is your move?
You think you can miss
the parent-teacher conference
and just buy us off
with picadillo?
Oh, I know I can buy off Sammy.
With you it's more like cross
my fingers, hope for the best.
Well, we already ate
at, you know, dinnertime.
Which is why I got the
sandwiches for lunch tomorrow.
- And the...
- Pastelitos!
Pastelitos! For dessert.
I am sorry.
Goddamn strategy meetings.
So, how was it?
Did I miss anything big?
Uh, hey, kiddo.
Why don't you and Manny
take one of those pastelitos
and go watch some TV?
- Uh-oh.
- That can't be a good sign.
His teacher's concerned.
She says he's having
a hard time making friends.
- That's it?
- Yeah.
Do we know for sure
the other kids don't suck?
- Ty.
- I'm kidding.
- Obviously.
- I know.
But, I mean, I was kind
of a loner when I was his age.
There's nothing wrong
with a little self-reliance.
I should have been there.
But you really think there's
something to worry about here?
Maybe.
- I call it...
- I don't know.
Maybe putting him
in public school was a mistake.
No, no. Education is the
cornerstone of your platform,
and you are right.
If everybody who can just bails
on the public system...
What you're doing is important,
Ty. It matters.
What we're doing.
It's just been an adjustment,
that's all.
I'm used to you being there.
I'm always here.
I hate these buttons.
Oh, motherfucker.
Need a little help over there?
What, am I not surprising you
with how...
sexy this is?
You know, I was thinking...
...you know, about what the, uh,
the therapist said
earlier today,
with the whole... fantasy thing?
Yeah?
Yeah. I was... you know,
I was just thinking
maybe it-it could be
kind of hot if, uh,
you pretended
to be a customer at the store.
All right, your fantasy is
for me to pretend
to buy furniture?
- It's dumb.
- No. No, no, no.
- Hey.
- I don't know.
It's not. It's not dumb.
It's, um...
It's great.
- Let's try it.
- Yeah?
Yeah. Mm-hmm.
- All right.
- Okay.
All right.
I... You know, I think
I should leave my clothes on,
'cause I don't think I would
go shopping without them.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
Oh, I'll, uh, meet you halfway.
- Then we can... Yeah.
- Yeah.
Oh. Oh, okay.
Uh...
Pardon me.
- Okay. No. No, that's...
- Just,
I'm gonna do
something different. Okay.
Excuse me, sir.
I just can't do it.
- Nah, you're doing great.
- Maybe I should start.
- Yes.
- All right.
You... Mm-hmm.
Hi.
I, uh,
I couldn't help but notice
that you were eyeing
this credenza over here.
I'm the owner.
Hank.
I'm... Tabitha.
Well, it's a real pleasure
to meet you.
Is there anything special
that I can help you
with today, Tabitha?
Actually, yes.
I'm... here to make a return.
Why would you be
returning something?
Well... Well, I don't know.
Not as, like a...-
I don't know. Just a...
My-my armoire.
It's too big. I should
have taken measurements.
Are you making fun of me?
No. I'm not m...
I'm trying to...
I...
I just feel a little stupid.
- Right.
- Jeff.
Do you not think
it's a bit weird? It's, like...
What is this?
Nothing.
Just, I-I got into
a fender bender this afternoon,
and it was not a big deal.
We exchanged information,
- so it's just his...
- So, wait, wait, wait. You...
You got in an accident today?
And you're just
mentioning that now?
How bad was it, Shauna?
Like I just said,
it was not a big deal.
- I'm fine, by the way.
- I can see you're fine.
How about that armoire?
It's... not working.
No shit.
- Oh, my God.
- Where are you going?
I'm just gonna jerk off, watch
some SportsCenter before bed.
She hates me now.
Maybe just give her some time.
For the record,
I was trying to save you.
I thought that...
Yeah.
Oh, wait.
Oh, where's the other one?
They're supposed to be together.
Ah!
Oh. Oh.
Is this it?
Let's go.
Dad! Dad!
- Javi, Javi, Javi, come here.
- Dad?
Please.-
- It's Dad.
- Javi, Javi, Javi. Yeah.
Holy macaroni, is-is that...?
He's got to be dead, right?
What the fuck?
Don't look. Don't look.
Okay, who has the best arm?
- What?
- I do, Jackie.
- What?
- Thinking we could...
try and throw things at him
and see if he moves.
You want to throw rocks at Coach
who fell out of a fucking plane?
- I didn't say rocks.
- Someone's shoe or whatever.
Oh, yeah,
that's a fuck-ton smarter.
You're on fire today, Jackie.
Oh, wait. That was supposed
to be me, huh?
- What?
- Okay, guys, stop it.
We need a plan here.
We could lower him with ropes?
Vines, then? I don't know.
Fuck's sake,
Laura Lee, we're not gonna
- Tarzan him out of a tree.
- Oh...
- You got a better idea?
- Than shoes and vines?
Sure. Let's just cut
the fucking tree down.
Dad? Dad!
- No, don't!
- Travis, Travis, Travis!
Travis!
Hey, what the fuck, Javi? Here.
- Come here. Come here.
- Come on. Come down.
- Let him go!
- Come back down!
- This is all I could find, okay?
- So just
grab a corner
and if somebody falls on it.
- Travis, grab the...
- Travis.
- Travis.
- Stop.
Just come down.-
Okay.
Okay. Tie those down.
Dad?
Dad?
- Travis, get back!
- Get back!
So, the prince would like you
to read to him.
Apparently,
you're better at the voices.
Tell me he's opened his shades.
No, still refusing to.
It's like Dracula's crypt
in there.
Just as...
- All right, I'm going.
- I'm going. Let's go.
Scooch.
I'm sick of reading.
Since when?
You want to go to the park?
No.
- Why not?
- No friends.
I'm your friend, Sammy.
Hey, hold that up. Mm-hmm.
Ah.
Okay, let's see
if you can get this.
- Ah?
- A bunny?
That's right.
Um, how about...
this?
A snail?
Oh. You are good.
Um, oh, oh,
you will never get this one.
Mom?
Oh.
Um, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Um,
you know what? Let's-let's...
Let's go take a walk
around the block.
You can take your scooter.
Why did you do this?
Answer me.
So she can't see me.
Who?
The lady in the tree.
She watches me at night.
Look at me
and tell me what you mean.
I just did.
Sammy.
Sammy, Sammy, Sammy.
Yeah?
Hi.
Um, I'm sorry. Who is this?
Wow.
I guess I didn't make much
of an impression.
Oh. Okay.
I guess you've been thinking
about what you did,
and you just can't live
with yourself?
Do you not do "Hello"?
Hello, Guy Who Stopped Short.
Oh, hey, there, Rear-Ender.
Okay, I heard it.
I'll get to the point.
You never called the shop
about your fender.
How do you know that?
'Cause I'm the guy
who works there.
I thought the surprise
might be... adorable?
Oh, if you must know, I-I...
I just can't afford something
like that right now.
You can't afford free?
Wait. Are you serious?
- Yeah.
- If you have dinner with me.
What, no clever comeback?
No, thank you. No, thanks.
Look, Adam...
- My actual name?
- That's a good start.
I-I just can't.
I'm sorry.
No, um, I'm the sorry one.
I just thought...
What?
Well, you seemed like someone
who doesn't play by the rules,
Shauna.
What's that supposed to mean?
I'm an idiot.
Um, just forget it.
Enjoy the rest
of your... minivan.
Here.
How do you do
that cool dance?
Baby, don't split
those hot pants
I got these moves
that we can do to and sing
I don't look
too good in pink
I used to slash myself up
I like to play it tough...
Hello?
Travis?
Bottles breaking rough
You got
to handle that stuff...
I'm sorry. I think
you have the wrong number.
Yeah
Tear it up, rip it up,
kick it up
Yeah, yeah
Tear it up, rip it up,
kick it up
Yeah, yeah
Make your way to Berlin
I just wanted to be like, "Dude,
of course
it's cheap construction.
You bought a $300 sofa
made by blind kids
in Bangladesh.
What-what are you
expecting, man?
I mean, Altamura leather?
"Mortise and tenon joints?"
I'm sorry
if I'm interrupting you two
completely not giving a shit.
Jeff.
- So you are listening?
- Of course we're listening. Yes.
Callie, can you...?
Anything new in school?
Nope.
This chili is really
good tonight.
It's really good.
New recipe?
Actually, it is.
Callie forgot to take the meat
out of the freezer,
so I killed a rabbit
in the garden.
Skinned it chin to anus...
Jesus Christ, Mom.
Okay, you're in a mood.
You are so freaking weird.
"Glory Box" by Portishead
I'm so tired
Of playing
Playing with this bow
and arrow
Gonna give my heart away
Leave it to the other girls
To play
For I've been a temptress
Too long
Just give me a reason
To love you
Give me a reason
To be
A woman
I just want to be a woman
From this time, unchained
We're all looking
at a different picture
Through this new frame
of mine
A thousand flowers...
I'm sure the plane has
an emergency transmitter
sending out a distress signal.
They'll be here to rescue us
by morning.
And give us some room, yeah
Give me a reason...
Still...
maybe we should
conserve some food?
In case they don't get here
till later in the day?
To be...
You want to save the CornNuts?
I just want
to be a woman...
Mari, you okay?
Looks like you did Allie a
big favor by breaking her leg.
Sow
A little ten, tenderness
No matter if you cry...
I'm in the market for a new bed.
What?
Something... king-sized?
Oh, yeah?
Damn it, Shauna.
What about Callie?
She's at Kyle's.
So, um,
you should know,
my new bed needs
to be really sturdy,
so, we should probably...
test a few options.
Mm.
Mmm.
Mmm.
You okay, Laura Lee?
This is all my fault.
I did something really bad.
I kept screwing up
in my piano lesson last week.
Mrs. Brophy kept yelling at me.
"Sharp. F sharp. F sharp."
- I just...
- I couldn't take it anymore.
So I called her a bad word.
Just in my head, but...
God heard me.
Now we're all being punished.
What did you call her?
Cunt.
I steal shitty clothes
from T.J. Maxx.
- What?
- I return them,
and I get credit
that I never use, and I have
thousands of dollars
in T.J. bucks.
What? Really?
I, uh...
I used to sneak downstairs
after everybody had gone to bed
and watch the Color of Night
so I could pause it
on Bruce Willis's wang.
That is definitely
why we crashed.
I mean,
Jeff's not bad, but damn.
Right?-
That's so funny.
Hmm. Mm.
Misty.
Your leg is gone.
I chopped it off.
What?
I saved your life.
- No. No.
- But
you're not out of the woods yet.
No. No, that's not...
It's imposs...
What about you, Shipman?
Any secrets big enough
to crash a goddamn plane?
Um...
What the fuck, Misty?
I had to stop the bleeding
for good.
Well, thank you for shopping
with us, Tabitha.
Mmm.
You're welcome.
Mmm. I'm gonna take
a quick shower.
Okay. Great.-
You were just kidding
about the rabbit thing, right?
- Huh?
- Yeah.
- It's chicken.
- Obviously.
Oh.
Ooh, ooh
Ooh, ooh
I didn't know
Misty was capable of that.
No, no. I don't know how
Misty knows half of that shit,
but honestly, thank God.
Sorry. I just...
We would be so completely fucked
if she wasn't here.
Everything okay?
I was getting coffee,
and I... and I saw you.
Engine trouble?
Looks like it.
You going someplace?
Well, I'm off today
and tomorrow, too.
Just saying.
Where you going?
I was actually thinking of
taking a little trip up north.
To see Travis?
Oh... But your car.
Well...
I had some errands to run, but,
um, but you know, I could...
I could take you up there
if you wanted.
It could be like a road trip.
Fine. But I'm driving.
Do you prefer podcasts
or showtunes?
Why'd you buy two?
Oh, I always get two of things.
That way,
I'll have some to share.
Like candy bars and sandwiches,
New York style pretzels.
Uh, calzones
from the stromboli place,
those raspberry lemonades
from Michael's.
Everybody loves those.
Good pumpernickel
from the bagelry.
Don't ever let anyone
step all over you
Just open your heart
and your mind
Mmm
Is it really fair to feel
This way inside?
Whoa-
Someday somebody's
gonna make you want
To turn around
and say goodbye
Until then, baby,
are you gonna let 'em
Hold you down
and make you cry?
Don't you know
Don't you know
things can change?
Things will go your way
If you hold on
For one more day
Can you hold on for one...