Yeh Meri Family (2018–…): Season 1, Episode 1 - Pukam Pukai - full transcript

All Harshu wants is all any 12-year-old does, to play and have fun with his best friend Shanky during the summer vacations, but mom has different plans for him.

Now, for the sports news.

Yesterday, India beat Australia
by six wickets

and won the prestigious Coca Cola
tournament at Sharjah stadium .

The whole country saw
a wave of celebrations.

Prime Minister, Atal Bihari Vajpayee
congratulated the country.

And appreciated Sachin Tendulkar
for his exceptional performance.

Sachin Tendulkar was named
Man of the Match

as well as, Man of the Series.

We now come to the end of the sports news.

The next song, is from the film
Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge.

Lyrics by Anand Bakshi, sung by
Lata Mangeshkar and Kumar Sahnu.

Music by Jatin Lalit.

This song has been requested
by Ashok Meena,

Anand Dwivedi and Pinky Kumar.




It's getting late.

Yes, I know.

It's not like he's really getting late.

Couldn't you have taken a glass of water
and sat down to study?

You think your mom is a maid.

And this one is still asleep.

-Yes? What is it?

I told you yesterday
to come in the evening.

If you're here now, wait for five minutes.

Eveything is kept in the way.



This boy will drive me mad.

Mr. Suraj?

Please get the work started upstairs.

It's very important for Dabbu to study.

-Yes, ma'am.
-All right.

Hey! What are you doing?

Won't this get ruined
if the paint splatters?

I didn't have a cloth.

Did you even ask me once?

I'll give it to you if you just ask.

Please do let me know
if you need anything in the future.

Madam? Clothes?

Yes, relax. I'm getting them.



Tell me?

What do you mean by 'tell me'?
Didn't you hear me?

Go take a bath.
The sun is already overhead.

I can see it right in front.

"The sun has come up!"

Have you gone deaf?

Why don't you answer me?

When I do, you say I keep answering back.

Are you coming down or shall I come up?

I'm coming! I'm coming!

I'm not in the kitchen.

No, that's not the sound of the mixer.

It's that...

That thing that rotates on the floor...

Raveena Tandon?

Don't fool around, man.

It's called a floor-scrubber.

But why is it being used right now?

The cleaning is on.

Cleaning in the summer?

My dear brother had his pre-boards
after Diwali,

so they didn't want it during that time.

Now they're celebrating "Dhanteras."

His pre-boards hold more value
than my vacations.

Just because he's older

he keeps bossing us around.

How can he always be bossing you around?

It's the three of you.

You should decide by Odds n Evens.

The whole world does it
before starting any game.

Dude, Dabbu doesn't even freeze
in the "Statue";

Like he'll ever agree to Odds n Evens.

He'll waste the entire summer.

''He'll waste summer''!

You keep whining like a girl.

Are you a Virgo?

Dude, you don't know.

As His Highness has to prepare
for his coaching entrance exam,

so this summer,
neither are we going anywhere,

nor is anybody coming over.

All this just
for a coaching entrance exam!

The entrance exam for Bansal Classes
is even tougher than the IIT exam.

Why do I care?

At my uncle's place, my cousins will be
having the time of their lives.

While I sit here
and watch "Krishi Darshan".

I had even found four new songs
starting with the sound "thh"!

Bro, be like Raja.

Not Rancho.

Summer isn't a season.

It's a festival.

If one is sincere,

one can even celebrate it at home.

What are you blabbering?

You can do anything in the summer.

For instance?

For a rupee, you can rent and read
a digest and two comics of Nagraj.

Without falling ill,
you can have four ice pops.

You can sleep under the open sky.

And if you've read Chapter seven well,

you can even identify constellations.

Apart from blowing vapor out of
your mouth, there's nothing you can't do.

You fool,

Summer is the father of all festivals.

He's right.

Summer isn't a season.

It's a festival!

Like in every festival,

the roads glitter with light.

Some new shops crop up.

The rituals of this festival
are quite unique.

Like every festival,
this one has a God, too.

After adorning a new vestment,

and getting purified by a tullu pump,

Lord Cooler is throned.

Then for the next three months,
disciples receive his blessings

with open arms.

Like Diwali, this festival also has
crackers of it's own.

But the atom bomb explodes
when you meet your long lost friends.





So joyous is the occasion
that even the inmates are let out.

All the jails are empty.



Yes, Shanky! Tell me?


We also might have
to go away after class ten.

So, we only have two summers.

Let's not waste time.

Let us begin.

Great! And from today, we...

Hello, Shanky?


Oh, man!

What's going on?

Because of this painting work,
the inverter has been disconnected.

Just because you have vacations
doesn't mean there won't be any routine.

And what took you so long?

Go brush your teeth
and get ready quickly.

What do you keep getting
us ready for everyday?

Are we going to fight some war?

Have you forgotten the thrashing
you received the other day?

Mr. Suraj.

You all better have tea
till the electricity is back.

I'll also have tea.

Tea renders skin darker.

If you care so much for my skin, then
let me even have my beauty sleep.

I also want to have tea.

Who'll have Bournvita and grow super fast?


But why grow?

Day and night, it's just milk!

If all the nutrients are in Bournvita,
then why have milk?

The buffaloes should
directly be fed Bournvita.

Yes, sir.

That's what I had called to say.


No, feel free to come anytime.

All right.

-Had milk?

-Could have taken a bath first.
-I did bathe yesterday.

Even a dog cleans the place
before he sits anywhere.

But a lotus blooms only in swamps.

You'll stink the entire day.

And you'll keep sniffing it.

Hey! Go take a bath.

What would Mr. Verma say?

That Keo Karpin?

-What could that gooey one say?

Go take a bath.

Where did Mr. Verma come from?

For Hindi tuitions.

What's all this about?

Since your Hindi's weak,
you'll have to study.

I got...

a 58 in Hindi.

I could have said anything and fooled all.

Questions were from outside of the course,

didn't see the last page
of the question paper,

the pen leaked at the last moment.

But... I told the truth.

I don't understand the difference between

"style" and "substance" analysis
of poetry.

-Oh, wow!

It's been so long since I've heard that!

"Style Analysis".

What was that other thing?

That used to appear like
six to seven times in a poem.

No. I mean like...

"...chomped on chunks of charred chicken".

All "Ch"s. What are those called?

Alliteration. Those are called
Figures of Speech.

Yeah! Alliteration it is.

Do you know all this?

Brilliant, brilliant.

What are you laughing about?

Here's a new one.


Seeing... menial marks,

mom mauled the mirthful.

Mom mauled...

Oh, let it go.

Even I never got a hang of this stuff.

You were at least good
in Math and Science.

-He's poor even in that.


Will you keep quiet?

I agree Math and Science are hard.

Hindi is our mother tongue!

You should drink milk.

You'll understand everything.

We'll have to get him a Hindi tutor.


The school is closed.
Where will he teach me?

At home.

Who gets tuitions for Hindi!?

A guy,

who doesn't understand the difference
between sentence making and nouns.

Hey, Verma's a very annoying guy.

He deducts marks delibrately for
students to come to him for tuitions.

I think he'll kill me with his sermons.

Be strong, man.

Tuitions are like Chickenpox.

Everyone gets it once in their life.

I'll also get one next year.
For Science.

Why would you get them?

You score the highest.
You're good at Science.

Science is good

but not my impression on Sharma ma'am.

It is the internal teachers who send marks
for the board practicals.

Why take a risk?

Yeah, man.

He's become so smart.

And handsome, too, right?

Ma'am, don't be so nice to him.

He'll slip out of our hands.

He's the second one.
He has to slip!

He'll slip? We can hardly catch him.
He's extremely useless.

Internal assessment is always crap.


What's taking you so long?

Are you even bathing or not?


The water is really cold.

I'm mixing warm water.

You want hot water in summer?

Hurry up or we might run out of water.

We will run out of water.

Where will it go?

She should be the one
getting Hindi tuition.

Such a big house gets
painted only once a year.

but Harshu has to bathe everyday?


Everybody bosses over kids.

Not pants, but shorts.
Not chaat, but bottle gourd.

Not Swabhiman, but Surbhi.

Even haircuts are to their liking.

I have the best hair in class.

But what's the point?

I'm not going to get tuition.


please tell mom

to send me for tuition
only after the summer break?




If you ask her, she'll agree.


I want to go in the cave.

Just hold on.

Tell me?

Look, you don't get marks, right?

But why in the summer?

When will we play?

I have my entrance
so I'm not going to play.

How will you play alone?
Might as well study.

If one can't play, one should study.

What logic is that?

I won't even tell mummy about
the loose change.

Go tell her.

Brothers are of no help.


Will you have a look at the sink?

Why isn't the water
passing through the sink?

What nonsense!

Mummy, I don't want tuition.

Seems like something is stuck.

Why not?

Mummy, I'll study on my own.
I promise!

You say this everytime, Harshu.

Mummy, Mr. Verma is extremely partial.

Nobody goes to him for tuitions.

So how can he be partial?

Something is stuck.

Yes, take it out.

Why right now?

Shanky is going next year,
I'll go with him.

He's smart.

You're daft.

What do you mean?

This is why you need Hindi tuitions.

You ask brother
before sending him for tuitions.

But not me.

Because you don't know what's good for you
and what's not

Dhwani also goes for dance classes.


I have removed the rubbish from here.

What is this?

No worries.

Whatever you think is fine.

Dhwani, to the cave.

Finish it up.


There are hungry kids who yearn
for milk and look at him...

So, better serve those who yearn for it.

Sir, whoever you speak to right now
talks about investing in mutual funds.

But when do we get returns?

Look, you don't know when
you'll get returns because you don't know

how long you need to boil milk.

How long do you boil milk?

You do drink milk, don't you?

You should drink some,
it's good for the brain.

Five minutes!
You should boil milk for five minutes.

Ten minutes?


No, five minutes...

You should boil milk for five minutes.

The duration of boiling milk depends
on what you want to use it for.

Do you want to drink it,
make kheer,

or rabdi or khoya.

That's exactly what I was going to say.

He was saying something.

You don't know when you'll get returns
from mutual funds

because you don't know why
you're investing it.

What will you do when you get the money?

-Down payment for a new house...
-I'll buy a car...

-That's it.

Now that you've a clear goal,

you just need to accordingly select
a systematic investment plan

and keep investing in it
till your savings goal isn't complete.

-The day you complete your savings...
-We'll withdraw the amount.


If you have any such doubts,
talk to a trusted, responsible expert.

Where will we find him?

Sir, is an expert himself...


Devendar Gupta, Invest & Co...

-Tell me, dear prince...

Dad, your son is being openly humiliated.

-What do you mean?
-Mom is sending me for Hindi tuitions!


That's the point.

Who takes tuitions for Hindi?

Please save me, dad. Please... Please...

OK, your teacher will come in the evening,

I'll deal with it when I get home.

Yes. Come early.
I'll be waiting for you.

Yes, for sure.

Verma's gone!

But where did Mowgli go?

Mowgli, Mowgli...

Mowgli turned into a phone!

A phone?


And Sher Khan came to give him tuitions.

Mowgli got scared and ran to the Barbie.

Barbie-Barbie, please
save me from tuitions.

I won't save you! I won't save you!
I'll get you more tuitions!

Mowgli was getting scared...

Sher Khan was coming close...

And that's when
Shaktiman appeared to save Mowgli!




Then Shaktiman farts!


And Sher Khan fainted.




Dhwani, wake up.

Dhwani, wake up.

Mr. Verma will be here any minute.
Get ready.

Today, he looks sincere.

You were coming, that's why.

Thank you.

Why did you bother so much?

You're the one who must be getting
bothered. Everything is scattered.

-No, no. no. Yes.
-Please, go ahead.

Sir, we are not sure which stream
should Dabbu pick after his tenth.

You're worrying for no reason.

He's a wise child.

He will move ahead in whichever
direction you give him.

Worry about the mischievous one here.


That's why we thought of your tuitions.

If you could take out some time,
it would be a great help.

I have lots of time.

But do I?

Oh Dad!

Look, There isn't a lack of intelligence

but rather of discipline.

Kids today have no routine.


That's what I keep telling him,
but he never listens.

He'll definitely listen when we try to...

It looks like mummy has
found her long-lost sister.

Where is Dad?

Will Shaktiman choose to remain
disguised as Gangadhar today?

You don't worry.

I will teach him the right culture.

It might be a bit difficult
in the beginning.

But that's just how things work.

No matter how strong a building is,
without paint...

it looks ugly. The same way,

no matter how capable a person is,
without a polished language,

he'll be like a laborer.

A daily-wage laborer.


Now I know why mom
gets so angry with dad.

I'd told you today morning.
How could you forget?

Nothing ever is important for you.

Either you left or you didn't.

How can you get late while leaving?

So, if you meet a college friend,
you could have spent say 15 minutes.

You spent two whole hours!

If you couldn't leave,
then at least let me know.

At least I won't keep
waiting like an ass.

A jenny.

Dads today, have no routine.

Poorva, I've got whatever you asked for.

Hey, Mr. Suraj, when can
we expect this to get done?

An hour or two.

All right.

Dabbu is ordering dinner.
Tell him what you want?

Can I have some tea first?

Harshu isn't saying anything.
I'm going ahead and ordering.

How was it with Mr. Verma?

Everything is done, you just
discuss the fees.

You forgot eggplant again.

Dabbu, wait for two minutes.


Hey, hero.

What will you have for dinner?

I got late as I was leaving.


Man, I have tuitions now.

Don't be so tensed.

Teachers are always stricter in classroom.

They go easy in home-tuitions.

Yes, he was saying,

"There isn't lack of capability.
But rather, lack of discipline."

The teachers always say this.

"Got brain but lack concentration."

They'll never say that one is
hardworking and sincere

but lacks brain.

That way, the parents will feel bad,

Anyways, at least demand
a higher allowance for travel.

I too will come over

and we'll have paani-puri.

We'll have to hide it from Verma

Or else he'll start lecturing me publicly.

No, man.

If Vidhya and I are with you,
nobody will object.

Why will Vidhya be there?

She also takes tuitions from Verma.


Mummy is right when she says,

"I don't know what's good for me".



Dad! Mummy!

Dad! Mummy!

I'll study Hindi a lot and top the exam!

Isn't this an over-reaction?


Let's go out for dinner today?

Why not? Let's go to Apna Dhaaba.

No, no, Aunty's Cafe.


Stone, paper, scissor. I won!

-Aunty's Cafe.

Wait! How can we leave
the house unattended?

Are you my wife or house-wife?
Come on, let's go.

Mummy, please let's go.

We rarely go out.

OK, all go change.

Mr. Suraj.

We'll be back in an hour,
you can finish off till then.

Yes, sir.

I'll sit in front!

Chitti, let's go?


Dad, let's play something nice today?

Today Harshu is in his top form.

Mr. Verma will blow his trumpet.

Why are you teasing him?

Respected Mr. Verma won't blow anything.

because I'll work hard and study.

Come here?

-What? What are you doing?
-What nonsense is he babbling?


Gone are the times

when I used to think that something
is wrong with everybody.


painting, milk, mummy,

this ghazal,

that dog,

this dog.

Now I like everything.

Until morning, I was disgusted with
even the sound of the word painting.

But it made the house so colorful.

Until evening, I was afraid
of the word "tuition".

And now, I'm just waiting for it to start.

The house looks bright

and the walls are decorated, too.

I'll have to tolerate Verma.

But then I'll get to see Vidhya.

Only after you lose some

and win some, are you called a Grinder.

I must have read plenty of books.

But now I'll be the one reading her face.

Now we'll make an evergreen couple.

Dream team.

And I'll be it's hero.

Dabbu don't push the table in.
Mr. Verma will sit there.


I thought I was going
to his house for tuitions.

You'll go to Civil Lines in this heat?

He'll be the one visiting.

Oh, man!

Didn't I tell you something is amiss.

One shouldn't celebrate
the ladder at 21 too early,

there's always a snake waiting at 98.

Man, I wish I could go to Verma's house.

It would have been awesome.

This is going to be the worst summer ever.

You're getting tensed for no reason.

Let me narrate you a story.

Once upon a time,

in the Summer of 69,

a white boy in Canada bought a guitar.

That too for, five rupees and ten paise.

He played a lot

but couldn't play no more.

Because his fingers started bleeding.

But he didn't give up.

He made a band with two
of his friends, Jimmy and Jody.

But that didn't work out either.

Because Jimmy, was a loser like you.

He quit the band and fled.

And Jody,

something terrible happened to him.

He got married.

Back then even that guy felt
that the summer of '69

was the worst summer of his life.

But fifteen years later,

one of his songs was a hit even bigger
than Altaf Raja's Qawwali's!

The lyrics to that song were,

Should I tell you something?

This is a true story.

We know that man as Mr. Bryan Adams.

You're worried today.

But who knows, a few years
later you might think

of this as the best summer of your life.


Who knows, this may really be
the best summer of my...

Oh man!

As soon as the fun begins,
there is a power cut.

I bet the head of this
power-house has got to be a mom.