Year of the Rabbit (2019–…): Season 1, Episode 2 - Episode #1.2 - full transcript

London is being terrorised by a mysterious killer taking the guise of the "Brick Man", a mythical figure from London folklore who comes out of brick walls on Brick Night and stabs people - except this time its real and people are dying.



How long do these things usually
last? I have appalling cramp!

As long as it takes, son. The trick
is to stretch out every half hour.

If you get too cold... Yes?

..piss yourself!

So much they didn't teach
at college!

Budge up. What's happening?

You're not police.
Your dad said, on no account,
am I to tell you about this stakeout.

Ooh, a stakeout! Nor am I giving you
these binoculars.

She's stashing something.
Let's nick her.

Check the bag for diamonds first.
Then nick her?

Nicking's the bets bit. GO!

Bad luck, Rabbit.

This is Inspector Tanner's case.

What a dolly plonker you are!
That's my bleeding tipoff.
You're not having it, old bean.

It's more my sort of thing, really.

"Tanner of the Yard Catches the
Beauty Behind Jewel—Smuggling Ring."

They'll be kissing my arse
from Tower Hill to Buck's Row.

Was something ticking? Yeah.

Tanner! If I was you,
I—I'd put that bag down.

If I was you, Rabbit,
I'd shut my cock holster!

It's every man for himself
these days!

Holy fu...

There he goes.


# Step it away, Brick Man
Step it up and down

# Step it away, Brick Man
London Town

# Step it away, brick man
Step it up and down

♪ Step it away, Brick Man,
All fall down... ♪

How's Tanner?
What news from the hospital?

Well, he's alive
but he's lost some bits.

Which bits?

Er, a straight bit, a round bit,
a curly bit.

I'm not really a doctor.

I've seen those all over the place.

It's nearly Brick Night.

You can't have Brick Night without...
Brick Man.

What are you talking about?

It's an East End thing. Don't they
have bricks in Incest—Upon—Avon?

And every Brick Night,
Brick Man steps out of Brick World.

He wears brick clothes
and has a brick face

and if you don't believe in him,
he stabs you in the neck repeatedly
with his brick knife.

It's just a bit of fun for the kids.

No, Brick Man, no! Where did you get
this ridiculous talisman?

This is blasphemy!

There is no such thing as Brick Man.

Oi, Bible Boy!

If you want a fight with someone,
you fight me.

No, actually, fight him.
He's fitter and I can't be arsed.


There you go, girl, have a penny.
Buy yourself a new doll.

They're sixpence.
Yeah, well, you can fuck that.

In your name, My Lord,

I cleanse this city

of false idols!




Now do you believe?

Please! I beg you!


♪ It all falls down ♪

There's been a murder.
Fucking brilliant! Shut it!

Duck Pond Lane.
A stabbing in the neck.

And in the wound,
a quantity of red dust.

Looks like your mum's cooking, John!

A Brick Man imitator.

A du—brick—ate, if you will!

I want this cracked
like a witch's mirror.

You should use psychology.
It don't exist, Guv. We need to
get out there and break some fingers.

Find some leads
and break their fingers.

Find the culprits
and break their fingers.

Find the lead's culprits
and break their fingers.

Get right up inside the fingers.
Finger the fingerers.

It's all about the fingers.

Do it. We are dealing with
one sick individual.

Sounds to me like someone
needs to shit or get off the pot.

Rabbit, Strauss, go solve this.

Not now! When I say!

I now say.

Er, not you!



My weekly report, ma'am.

Mm! Proceed.

Erm, the attempt to end the lives

of Rabbit and his associates...

Let me stop you there, Maud.

We don't attempt,

we do. Indeed, ma'am!

And a second operation


What's that?


Could someone bring me
my street shoes?

I've got work to do.

You can't be police,

even if I wanted you to,
which I don't!

I'm as good as any bloke in there.
I'm a fist with legs.

Why can't you think about the things
women are meant to think about?

Spaniels wearing ribbons!
Kittens in moonlight!

Come on, Dad, give me anything,

no matter how small.

Well, there is a new crime wave
we need to stop.

I'm your man! Who isn't a man!

Stop bicycle theft.


Come and join our Whitechapel
Historical Fellowship.


Hello. Would you like to join
our Historical Fellowship?

Fascinating lectures
with no distractions.

We pride ourselves
on our lack of refreshments.

No. I think he only stopped
because your daughter
was giving him the salmon.

We've got stuff to do. Come on.

Good bye. Good bye!

I can't breathe.
My legs are like jelly.

My mind's racing. Is this love?

No. We just passed the hat factory.

You're off your tits
on airborne mercury.

It's that bell—end from yesterday.
May God rest your soul.

It doesn't make sense.
The night—watchman was right nearby
but nobody saw the killer.

No trace. There's always a trace!

Brick dust.


This is the way to do it, Strauss.
None of your psycho—rology twallocks.

Psychologists say
one's father greatly influences
a chap's character.

My father certainly did
the three times a year I met him.

I never knew my dad.
I know he named us after animals.

There's Leopard, me brother,
me sister Weasel.

He wrote the names on our heads
before dumping us outside a church.

Good grief!

A brick wall.

Just as the street ends
on a brick wall

does cold science too
have its limits.

Is Brick Man real? Could this be
the door to the Brick World?


Or that's the way in.
The jury's still out, really.

Hello. The police are giving
free advice on how to secure
your bicycle.

And what's that?

The chain. You shouldn't just
secure the front wheels

because the little shits
willjust nick the rest.

Move. How come they let
one of you lot in the police?

Women do a lot of things now.

That's not what I meant.

I'm gonna count to two

and you're gonna fuck right off
or I'll show you
just how police I can be.




Not so chatty now, you racist shit!


Thank you. Don't mention it.
Us girls, we've got to look out
for each other.

So, where were we? Don't worry.

There's been a change of plan.


"Other dimensions" my puckered arse!
This is how Brick Man gets about.

London sewers,
best in the world they say.

I'm not sure "they"
spent a lot of time down here.
Ssh! What was that noise?

CLANG! Inspector, I think I saw something!

Ugh! That felt like a brick!


Bravo, Tanner! Welcome back, sir!

Welcome back, sir.

Who was she, the bomber?

The trail's gone cold, sir.
We think maybe there was
no jewel—smuggling ring.

The bomb was rigged for Rabbit.

Quite a nice job they've done
on your bonce, sir.

It'll take more than a bang
to stop brave Tanner of the Yard.
I'll tell you about bravery, son!

In the Sudan, I watched blokes
getting their ears blown off.

Young fellas ripped in two
by frightened horses.

One poor Welsh lad smacked his
turkey purse on a barbed—wire fence

and watched his little peanuts
fall into the grateful mouth
of a desert shrew.

The look on his face —


This was meant for Rabbit.

And while there's puff in my gruff
and wind in my whistle,

I will make sure

he gets what's coming to him.


Or at least slow down by 25 percent!

'Allo, Brick Man! I'm Police Man.

I've come to arrest the living shit
out of you.

Oh, Lord, it's you!
I didn't see it was you, Mr Rabbit!

I thought you were some new lads
working my patch!

Who is this sewer dweller?
This is Murky John.

He's a tosher. Ooh, what's that?

I'm compiling a list
of appalling East End occupations.

We scavenge the sewers
for anything worth a few bob.

Is that legal?
What you might call a grey area.

Rabbit, how about this
for the lady in your life?

Don't think you can bribe me, Murket.
Actually, that's quite nice.

You have the worst job
I've encountered.

There's a few downsides.

Crowding, cholera, tetanus.

The build—up of flammable gases
exploding into a huge fireball.

The rats dragging you off
to feed to the rat king.

Have you seen anything weird lately,
Murky John? Last night,

a gentleman walking the pipes!

Brick coat, brick hat,

brick face!

The toshers are scared, Rabbit!

Catch him,
before he comes for us all!


Morning, Rabbit.



Is that banging inside my head
or is that for real?

Bastards are putting electric lights
down the streets.

Bad for business
running a pub under electric light.

Why is that? Makes me look older.

I'm what you call a smog beauty.

Course you are, girl.

Hang on.

Oi! What's your game, soppy nuts?

Brick Man struck again last night!
But he can't come through no walls
if we knock 'em down first!

Oh, gawd! Where was it?

Oakwood Row.

You do that again, dick boy,
and I'll lop 'em off with a spoon!

Brick Man. It's the Brick Man.

Let me guess. No witnesses.

Why won't you coppers
catch Brick Man?

You don't give a monkeys about
the likes of us! Too right, mate!
Shut your mouth, you old bastard.

We should break every brick wall
in London Town!

Smash that bleeding wall!

ALL: Smash the bleeding wall!

Smash the bleeding wall!

Listen, Mr Larkham — No. You listen!

People are scared of bricks,
for Christ's sake!

I've got 200 workers in
my brick works. If we close today,
they don't eat tomorrow.

Why not?
Because I don't pay them enough!

Find the killer!
I've got me best people on it!

What have you got?

He moves through the sewers, so I was
thinking we should form a shit squad.

A shit squad? A shit squad.
I think you already have.

A squad made up of men who don't mind
getting their hands dirty,

men who'll wade in shit,

toss shit, eat shit, juggle shit,

swim in shit.

Shitty men.

Shitty coppers.

I'd be proud to stand alongside
Inspector Rabbit.

You're not going to put that clown
Rabbit on it, are you? Rabbit's one
of my best wrong—'un banger—uppers!

Who's that girl who took down
that bag—snatcher?
She's showing your lot right up.

Mabel? Get her on it! But —

I am a friend of the Home Secretary,
we play petanque together.

If you can't find this murderer,
he will get in someone who can!

Good day.

Mr Larkham,
you're a very rich and powerful man,
two qualities I admire greatly.

Mm. Never mind that. Tell me,
what happened to Rabbit's eyebrow?

His dog bit it off or something
at Christmastime.

Oh. But everyone needs a friend
in the station.

I could be such a friend for you,

What's left of my left eye
just winked at you.

Mabel? Hm?

You're on Brick Man with these two.

You won't regret it. But if you do,
it'll be too late so who cares?

Well done, girl. But don't bollock on
about — Psychology!

We need to get inside
the killer's head.

So, what's his history
with Brick Man?

The Historical Fellowship!

She's the one I want to see!

I mean,
she's the one we want to see. Sorry,
they're the ones we want to see.

About Brick Man? Yeah.

Come on, horny boy.



As good as police.
Everyone say I'm police for now.

Tell us about Brick Man.

The whole lot. And look sharp
because I get bored real easy.

Er, please, take a seat.

How old do you think
the legend of the Brick Man is?

I ain't got a bleeding clue, mate.

What if I were to tell you

that he was a mere 50 years old
this year?

Well, then, I would tell you,
"Fancy that!"

His first appearance in an
advertisement for Larkham Bricks,

founded by SirJohn Larkham.
We met his son. He's a bell—end.

He's actually a patron of ours
and he's a wonderful man.
He's a wonderful bell—end.

We've not been properly introduced.
Sergeant Strauss. Harriet.

You're awfully young
for a policeman.
You're very young for an historian!

Once, this was all countryside,

and then the East End was built
from Larkham bricks,
with Brick Man the star!

But this Brick Man's
got this smiling gob.

He don't look much like
the stabbing type.

Well, once the East End was built

demand for bricks dropped,

so they gave Brick Man
an edgy rebrand.

Bugger me!

A public relations disaster.
The adverts were withdrawn.

But the myth had begun.

Maybe somebody wants to close down
the brick factory. They're going the
wrong way about it. Scares pass!

You can knock down every wall in
London but then you have to rebuild,

and what do you use?

And Mr Larkham will make a fortune.

Did Larkham ever dress up
as Brick Man?

Hang on! Yes!

For the Lord Mayor's Parade.


I was thinking, erm,
do you like dancing?

I don't know!
No—one's ever requested a dance.

That's funny because I've never
had anyone to ask!

Would you like to? Yes.


Are you two gonna fuck or what?

I call it like I see it.
It's just me being me.


Did you find the murderer yet?
Let's hope so.

Cuff him!

What? Oh!

Thank you for ruining my only chance
of happiness. Relax. England's
chock—a—block with mousey girls.

You're making a big mistake, Rabbit.

Am I now? You do not have to
say anything because it might...


Get rid of the prick. Unbelievable!

Brick Man strikes again!
Police fucking useless!

Our kids ain't safe!
Lazy bleedin' coppers,

can't even chase our monster
into its own dimension!


Are you mad?

Where's your evidence?
We know your big mistake.

You killed wearing a Brick Man
company costume.

The thing is, it wasn't waterproof.

You still had sewer water
in your shoes.

That's a nice pipe. We use water
to make bricks, you fucking idiot!

Release me now or you'll regret it.

All right. You're free to go.
Thank you.

Oh, no, hang on.
I found this in your coat pocket.

I've never seen that before.

It matches the other half
found at the crime scene.

Please! You planted it!

Why would I kill anyone? Hm?

Father issues.
Your dad built the brick factory
but now it's in trouble.

You're killing to show the world
you're just as good as he is.

You all right, girl?

She's right. Though I still think
this psycho—horror—tree
is total bullshit.

My father was worth
a dozen of yours, Rabbit.
No, make that a hundred!

Oh, yes! I knew your papa all right!

A rotten ball of meat and whisky
in the shape of a man.
And your mother wasn't much better.


I laughed like a drain when
they pulled her out of the Thames.

Sergeant Strauss,
would you lock the door?

Sergeant Strauss,
would you unlock the door? Agh!

Well, well...

What the bloody hell's
been going on here?

He's the killer! No, Rabbit!

The killer just struck again
at Meadow Hill!

You're free to go.

You're a dead man.




This is the work
of your local police!

They will not protect people
like you!

Nor me, the common factory owner
in the street!

It's about time the police get
what's coming to them!

Larkham's behind this and he's got
accomplices. That ain't guesswork,
I bloody know it!

Erm, chaps,
it's looking pretty dicey out there!


Hold on a blinking, bleeding,
fucking second!

Meadow Hill, Oakwood Row,
Duck Pond Lane,

they're rural countryside—y names,
and Larkham hates that!

He wants the whole world
bricked over. That's why he kills!

And because he's got the taste.
He's got the taste!
The killer's got a pattern!

It's the shape of a brick.
It's three dots!
That could be any pattern.

Hold up.

Barley Lane. The shape of a brick!
OK, fair enough.

That's where
he's going to strike next.

How do we get through the riot?
We blend in.


What do we do now? We wait.

Can I just say what wonderful people
you are? Shut up.

If anything happens,
it's been a privilege
to serve with a fine officer

and someone pretending
to be an officer.


I think this might be
a waste of time.


# Walls...

♪ ..fall down ♪

It's the brick world! It's all true!

This is the sewers. Smell the gases.
And shit.

Mainly shit.

Where are you, Larkham?

None of you believed.

You couldn't have dragged the
three of us down here on your own,
you'd have needed help.

Murky John, I bet.

Those toshers, they know the sewers.

Those how do not believe...


The funny thing is, Larkham,
I left you with a limp,

and now you ain't got one, Larkham.
So I reckon, Larkham,
you ain't Larkham.

Who is it?

Who else knew about Brick Man
and what we was up to?


The history twats!

Too late. I'm going to cut you
from arsehole... breakfast time.

Harriet, why are you pretending
to be in league with this villain?

Don't bother, son.

She hates us as much as she hates
bricks. Shut yer funnel!

She wishes England was green again.
You want the Lost World.

The Larkhams bricked over Paradise!
Did I say that you could
fucking speak?

So you wanna make people scared
of bricks so they flee the city.

But why plant the doll on Larkham?

So you would arrest him.

And then he would be at the station

and, bang!, we strike!

Can I just check,
what we had between us,

was that real?

What do you think,
you chinless bucket?

Is it a yes?

When your mangled bodies are found,
the city will empty.

And then nature can take back
what is hers!

All this for some nettles?

I say, Dad,

you couldn't light a fag for us,
could you, before you do us in?
They're in me top pocket.

Did I say that you could move?
No, clear.

Then, stay where you were.

It's a trap. Sorry, dear.

You know what? My dad was a wanker,
but you're worse, mate.

She's clearly needed boundaries
her entire life!

You've given her fuck all!

You know what?

You can have a cigarette.

No, he can't, you gaping dick!

Young lady, I have spent countless
hours in this uncomfortable costume

helping you with your killing
and mutilating.

A thank—you wouldn't hurt.
Come on, Chief, I'm gasping here.

I won't fucking tell you again, Dad!

Do not do it!


Sorry, fellas,

I forgot to warn you about the
build—up of highly flammable gases.

Strauss, cuff 'em. Righto.

There's plenty of bricks
where you're going!

That's nice. Did you think of that
just now or hours ago?

Just now. Ha!


When a policeman meets someone
and falls in love,

does she always turn out
to be a killer? No.

Sometimes she gets killed.
On the morning of your wedding day.

Rabbit, the doctor's report
on Larkham's injuries.

Pfft! I'lljust buy him a cocktail.

Size of that,
I'll have to buy him the pub!

The Home Secretary's involved!

There's gonna be an enquiry.
Police brutality!

You what?
Well, you could vouch for me.

He hit me first!
That might even be true!

Come back — Guess who's in charge
of the enquiry.

You're joking?

C'est moi.

Does that mean it's you?
Don't worry, darling,
I'll be completely impartial.

And then I'm gonna melt you down,
my old china.

Run, Rabbit,



Hello? Oh, er, Lydia?

Ah! Miss Wisbech!

I am so glad you accepted
my invitation. Do come in.

Thank you.

I have a little club for women.

We believe that women
are the future.

I've been looking for
something like that my whole life.

That, and a corset that doesn't make
my kidneys pop out my ears.

I think you and I
are going to become great friends.

Tea? Yes, please.

That's nice.

Do you take lemon? Lemon?

Is that new?

Subtitles by Red Bee Media