Xena: Warrior Princess (1995–2001): Season 1, Episode 24 - Is There a Doctor in the House? - full transcript

When Xena and Gabrielle take a wounded and pregnant Ephiny to a healing temple in the middle of a civil war, Xena must take over as healer when the priests would rather pray than act.

Maybe we should take the southern route.

This is the shortest way
to Athens.

Yes, I know, but there's a war
going on here. It's so senseless.

This one's more senseless than most.

It's a civil war. Brother against brother.

That's Ares' favorite kind of conflict.

Why would they want to fight over this area?
There doesn't seem to be much here.

Same reason we're here.

This forest is the only
way between Thessaly and Mitoa.

Whoever controls it, controls...

What was that?



-Ephiny?
-Gabrielle.

It's a nasty gash... But it'll heal.

Your baby it's about due.

-I've already had some pains.
-What are you doing here?

We were on our way to Athens.

Phantes and I wanted
to have the baby born there.

Where is Phantes?

He was trying to find
a safe way around the battle.

-But he...
-What happened?

He was captured and killed by mitoans.

When?

I've been hiding here for...
I don't know... Two, three days.

Can't tell anymore.

He died protecting me.
Some amazon, huh...



You can't blame yourself. There's
nothing you could've done.

Why would they want to kill Phantes?

He got in the way.
It's a war, Gabrielle.

I can't bear to think of all the innocents
who suffer because of this madness.

Someone has to stop it.

Come on, Xena... Not even
you can stop an entire war.

All right. Well, look,
I did not mean that as a challenge.

-Stay here with Ephiny.
-What are you going to do?

I'm gonna find a safe place
for Ephiny to have her baby.

And then I'm gonna stop this war.

I've got to learn to
keep my mouth shut.

One giant push will destroy the
thessalians once and for all.

We'll march on into their city.
Free men, at last.

We've been fighting long and
hard for liberation.

For the right to worship our
own gods. And victory is near.

These thessalian tyrants are about to feel...

...the hand of justice
tight around their throats.

May the gods bless
the mitoans this day.

Now, go. Go!

Spill their blood!

For the gods!

Thessalian pig!

Thessalian scum!

In the time of ancient gods...,

warlords

and kings,

a land in turmoil
cried out for a hero.

She was Xena.

A mighty princess

forged in the heat of battle.

The power.

The passion.

The danger.

Her courage will change the world.

XENA - WARRIOR PRINCESS

We're nearly there.

-Are you insane?
-You're going in.

I'm a mitoan! This is a
thessalian healing temple.

Well, you need to be
healed, don't you?

You obviously know
nothing of war.

The thessalians are enemy of
the mitoans. They'll kill me.

Nah, they'll keep you alive.
You're good slave material.

No, you don't understand.

They're going to want to execute a
man of my rank.

What rank?

You look like just another foot soldier to me.

Who goes there?

We found this soldier...
And we have a pregnant woman.

This way.

Almighty Aesclepius,
god of healing.

Here lies, before
you, the broken body...

...of a good thessalian soldier,
who is worthy of your great...

Come on!

Come on.

-How're you doing?
-Not good...

I'm so tired and... my soul feel like
it's been sliced by a razor.

Here.

Ephiny, I know Phantes is gone,
but what you and he created...

...is within you,
ready to come out into the world.

-You have to go on.
-You're not alone.

Your friends and your family
are here with you.

-Family?
-Hey...

I'm you sister amazon, remember?

They gave you the right of caste.

Xena and I will take care of you.

Get in there, mitoan scum.

General Marmax.

You're wounded.

That's him. General!

The war goes well.

Oh, mighty Aesclepius.

We beseech you, and
trust in thy healing power...

-...to make this man whole.
-We've got to move you.

Put him down. Can't you see he's
in terrible pain?

But we've got to put him on the altar.

-What's your name?
-I'm Hippocrates.

Well, Hippocrates, a man with a wound like this
should not be moved.

But Aesclepius, the god of
medicine, has to empower Galen...

...with the proper knowledge
and drugs on the altar.

So we have to move him! It's Galen's orders!

-Is that Galen?
-Yes.

We beseech you, and we trust
to make this man...

The gods don't care if
these men live of die.

Who is this woman?

I've spent a lot of time healing
on the battlefield.

And you could help a lot more people...

...if you spent more time with
them and less with you god.

Am I supposed to believe some
harlot knows more about healing...

...than the priests of Aesclepius?

Help me, somebody, please! He
can't breathe! He's dying!

-Put him with the other mitoan.
-No, put him down here.

I need a hollow reed
and some rags.

Now!

This is our temple.
We decide who will be treated!

You! Come here!

Do you wanna see another mitoan die?

Go ahead. If you want to kill mitoans
with your ignorance, it doesn't matter.

-Just don't touch a thessalian.
-Hold him down.

-You're killing him.
-Shut up and concentrate.

Give me that reed.

It has to be put in
at precisely the right angle.

Press down here.

Harder!

No, on the vein.

Relax and breathe.

Amazing.

Right...

All right, now for the arrow.

Get me some cobwebs, there, off the statue.

Cobwebs?

They help stop the bleeding. Hurry.

I need another a pair of hands.

Gabrielle!

-What do you want me to do?
-Get me some compresses.

Hold the arrow here.

Hold it very steady, very, very steady.

So what, you just bandage him up now?

Not quite.

Ok...

Gabrielle, be
ready with those compresses.

Brace yourself.

Keep the pressure constant.

Don't let go.

-That's amazing.
-She is beautiful.

-Men...
-Not her, the healing woman.

Oh, well, she's amazing too.

There's nothing amazing about that!

But we've never seen anything like this.

It's an antiquated and impure form of healing.

Not of the gods.
You both should know better.

Yes, Galen.

I want all these people over there
with the walking wounded.

We're clearing this area.

Right, let's go.

Let's take a look at that. Right...

This is gonna sting.

All right?

We'd like to observe your work.

These people need care,
not another pair of eyes gawking at them.

You got a lot of customers... Get to work.

It's too late for him. But
there are others that can be saved.

You need to separate out the ones that can
be saved from the ones that can't.

How can we be sure?

You need to choose.

I don't know if I can do that.

You have to. Lives depend upon it.

She could use your help right now.

Take this.

Her leg is broken.

Use the sword to
brace it with before you move her.

That's the last one.

Ok...

Ok...

Gabrielle, it's Marmax.

I need you to change his bandages.

All right.

Sorry.

Medicine is not my strong suit.

Right. What is your strong suit?

-I'm a bard.
-A bard, huh?

Yeah.

Well, go ahead.

What?

Tell me a story.

Ok.

There was once this king...

His name was Libarius.

He was a brave warrior.

A great hunter.

I like it already.

He was so proud of his hunting skills
that he decided to test them...

...in the sacred forest
of the great goddess Artemis.

That sounds like a mistake.

She was so angry with him
that she turned him into a deer.

He became the hunted... The worst thing
that can happen to a great hunter.

That's what he thought, at first.

But then he became so fond
of the peaceful ways of the deer...

...that he actually grew to love them.

Of course, he still missed
his friends and family...

Which made him very sad.

So Artemis took pity on him...,

...turned him back into his human form.

A happy ending.

But what a nightmare...

A warrior having
to live the life of a deer...

Actually it was the best thing
that ever happened to him.

He became a better king
after the experience...

A much happier man.

Why is that?

'Cause he learned
the true secret of life...,

...is to find peace in yourself...
and to share it with the world.

It's a pretty story.

Too bad it has
nothing to do with real life.

Life is only what you make of it.

-We need some help here.
-Over here.

Over there.

Gabrielle!

Yeah?

We need to alternate between the
two. Try to stop the bleeding.

I need a hollow reed
and some kind of bladder.

-We slaughtered a pig this morning.
-Perfect.

-Can you hold this?
-Yeah, yeah, yeah. I got it.

Right.

Now hold the opening of
the bladder firmly on the tube.

Breathe, come on, breathe.

-Press harder.
-Yep.

Xena...

Gabrielle, switch.

Try to keep the rhythm of his own breathing.

-What have we got here?
-It's a neck wound.

I don't wanna die.

Woman!

What have you done to my temple?

Is there a problem?

She has a mitoan on our altar...

...and she's murdering
our brave soldiers!

She must be stopped! Throw her out!

And if she resists, kill her!

I need help! He's dying!

Get over there.

If you want me out of here, Galen,
you're gonna have to do better than that.

-Or do you like seeing people die?
-Of course not.

I've devoted my life to Aesclepius...

...to stop human suffering.
But you've stormed in here...

...with your palling lack
of respect for the gods.

You don't heal.

You sit and wait for some god
to help out when he feels like it.

I can't stop this blood.

Tie it off...

And then get a bandage on it tight.

Breathe.

Come on.

Breathe.

Breathe!

Breathe...

Gabrielle, stop.

Stop...

It's over, just let him go.

Why? We tried so hard.

We worked so hard. Why?

I told you, only Aesclepius
can choose who lives and dies.

Now you'll see his power.

He lost too much blood.
It's as simple as that.

You can't heal that, can you?

No, I can't.

Gabrielle...

Xena, I...

I'm sorry. I really did try.

It wasn't your fault.

Death's just part of this work.

You're gonna have to get used to it.

Ok, I will.

I'll try to do whatever
you need me to do.

-We need a healer.
-I want you to help Democritus.

She's a lovely young woman.

Yes, she is.

She shouldn't be here.

Why would you bring her into a war zone?

Since when are you concerned
with people's welfare?

That's exactly what
I'm fighting for.

The welfare of young people just like her.

And what about the thessalians' young people?

You don't understand.

Thessalians try to take away our right
to worship our gods.

They tortured our people
to submit to their religion.

So the total annihilation of Thessaly
is the only solution...

We're securing our freedom
from these butchers.

You're beyond securing your freedom...,

...you crossed that line when this
became a blood-bath.

We passed a thessalian
village on our way.

It was a supply base
for their army.

-It was necessary to neutralize it!
-Neutralize it?

There wasn't a living thing in sight.

Not man...

Nor woman...

Nor child.

Who's the butcher now, Marmax?

Is that better?

Much better. Thank you.

-That was wonderful.
-What?

Well, the way you relieved that man's pain.

It was the salve.

No, it was your voice and your smile.

You gave him a sense of peace.

You have a remarkable gift for healing.

No, that's Xena's specialty.

Well, when a man's in pain...

...his soul needs healing,
just like his body.

And that's what you did.

It was a beautiful thing to watch.

Thank you.

Oh, mighty Aesclepius, we beseech...

He'll die, unless
you cut off that leg.

What?

Lose my leg?

I don't want to lose my leg!

Can't I work in peace?

You can't cut off a man's leg,
it's cruel.

I've seen it before. That color is disease.

If you cut it off, the man will live.
If you don't, he'll die.

What do you want? It's really up to you.

Do it.

You, over here.

That is a thessalian.

Unless you want another
wound in your other shoulder...

...you get over here now.

I can't feel anything.
My body's totally numb.

I know, you'll be all right.

You, bring me a shield,
a sword and a torch.

Hold him down.

He'll be more in shock
than in pain.

Cauterize it.

Miss, please. Miss...

Someone has to go out there and get Pareus.

-Who's Pareus?
-He's my little boy.

Please. He wasn't brought in.
But I know he's still out there.

-Someone's gotta go get him.
-Where is he?

He's by the stand of trees, near the river.

He was hiding
when they took me away.

-I'll go get him.
-Thank you.

Hey, hey. You can't go out there.

His son is out there, wounded.

-What's wrong?
-The baby...

I think it's coming.

You said before you were
a warrior. An amazon?

Yeah.

Why're you here in Thessaly?

We were on our way to Athens.

My husband, Phantes, and I wanted
our baby to be born there.

Why Athens?

They're more tolerant.

Tolerant?

Nothing... Never mind.

Where's your husband now?

He was killed...

...by a mitoan war party.

I'm sorry.

They must've thought
he was fighting for the thessalians.

Sometimes my soldiers are a little too
zealous in their desire for freedom.

You don't know what tyrants these
thessalians are. They have to be destroyed.

My whole family was thrown
to a pack of starving wolves...

...for not bowing to their gods.

My husband was ripped apart by
mitoan hunting dogs...

...while your men watched and laughed.

This can't be.

Phantes was once my sworn enemy.

Then I learned forgiveness,
and from that I learned love.

I just hope my child grows up to
live in a world free from your blind hatred.

You despise me for this.

I don't despise you.

But you've got to think of the children.

Is bloodshed all
you want them to know?

I need help here.

-Somebody help!
-Gabrielle!

Set her down.

Gabrielle. Relax, relax.

You're safe here.

You're saf...

You're safe now.

You're gonna be all right.

Keep that soldier awake.
If he falls asleep, he may never wake up.

She should have hit him an inch lower.

-She could have killed the monster.
-She knew that.

That's why he's still alive.

Are you telling me that she'd rather die...

...then take the life of a man
she doesn't even know?

Gabrielle lives by her own code.

That code doesn't include killing.

As I said before, a girl like that
should not be brought into a war zone.

It was your man that did this.

He didn't know who she was.

He didn't know she was a mitoan,
and that made her the enemy?

I can't believe I let her go alone.

Ephiny...

Ephiny.

Ephiny!

She's not far away.

I'm right here.

I want...

I want you to have my
right... my right of caste.

Stop talking like that.

It's important.

I won't need it.

What did she mean?

"Right of caste"?

It's a right passed on
by amazons on their death...

But I won't take it.
I won't lose her too.

Death?

Well, she's gonna be all right...

Isn't she?

Galen, the battle is near...

The mitoans are just
over the next ridge...

And they're coming this way.

I'm not leaving!
They won't dare desecrate my temple!

They'll destroy anything
at this point. They smell victory.

I'll get the walking patients
out of here.

You have to follow the rest to
above-ground. You'll be safer there.

-We'll all be killed!
-You won't be killed if you follow the others.

But my arm!

Democritus!

You can't die! Guards, help!

What am I to do?

Please, you've got to help him.
I don't know what to do.

Move that soldier.
Bring him over here, quickly!

-Hippocrates?
-Yeah, I know.

Rags, cobwebs and a knife.

-What about Gabrielle?
-Marmax, be ready with that cloth.

You've got to save him.

I'll try.

Forget about me. Help Gabrielle.

I've done all I can for her.

It's up to her from now on.

Don't let her die.

Is he dead?

No, he's just passed out from the pain.

-He'll live.
-Come on, Galen.

-You know how to do this?
-Yeah, sure.

Gabrielle...

You know, if I could do it all over again,
I'd take the southern route.

I'm so sorry.

She may well pull through.

You were right, I shouldn't
have brought her here.

I guess we all make mistakes.

My pride may have
killed my best friend.

-What was that?
-Catapults.

We don't have catapults.

-Gods preserve us!
-Calm down, Galen!

We're caught in the crossfire...

...between the thessalian's defense
and the mitoan advance.

My forces are
converging on this temple.

If we overrun them in the valley,
we cut off the kingdom.

They're surrounded. The thessalians
will be crushed for good.

-Well, where can we go?
-Anywhere, just out of here.

This building's gonna be demolished.

Yeah, but many of these patients,
they can't be moved.

I know, I'll stay with them. Marmax will get
his men to higher ground...

...and allow you safe passage
for the rest. Won't you, Marmax?

-Of course.
-But you'll die.

Cynic.

Ephiny!

My temple!

Marmax!

Stay with Ephiny. I'll get
the other patients ready.

-We have to leave.
-I can't!

The baby is coming now!

Xena. Xena!

Xena!

-Come on, push.
-I'm pushing!

That was a strong kick. This is gonna be
one healthy little centaur.

Yes...

I've known since you said you wanted
the baby to be born in Athens...

...because they're more tolerant.
Phantes was a centaur.

Yeah. You gotta problem with that?

No, centaurs are
very brave, I admire that.

It's not come down at all,
not since the labor started.

-Come on, push!
-I said I'm pushing!

Ok.

Hang on. I'll get Xena.

It's Ephiny...

-What's wrong?
-I keep pushing, but...

But nothing's happening.

It's breech.

-We'll have to cut it out.
-What?

She can't deliver the baby,
and she may die.

Do it, Xena, save my baby.

Get me some hot water...,

...clean knives and as many clean rags
as you can find.

Ephiny.

Ephiny, I want you to look at this candle.

Concentrate.

I want you to watch it very closely.

Think of Phantes and of how proud he'll be
of this little child.

Stare at it so hard that you can
see his face in it.

Ephiny, you'll feel no pain.

We're all here with you.

Your baby will be healthy,
so just relax.

Marmax is coming with the rest.

What are you still doing here?

And what are the mitoans still here for?

They aren't leaving without Marmax,
and I'm not leaving without you.

And Galen?

He's too shocked
to do anything without us.

Ready?

Yeah.

Ephiny, you will feel no pain.

Marmax, put your hands in there.

Peel back the first layers.

Give me that knife again.

I'm making an incision in the womb.

I can see it.

Now I need you to guide
the legs out as I...

Come on.

It's heavy.

All right.

Look, Ephiny.

You have a son.

He's heavy, all right.

It's Gabrielle.

Now's our chance.

Save the general.

Stop!
I order you to stop this instant.

But, sir, you're not yourself.
This woman has you under her power.

I'm more myself now
than I've ever been.

And I've made a decision.

This war is over.

-Sir, you can't be serious!
-Silence!

The war is over and I'm ready
to negotiate with the thessalians.

We've become everything we despised...

...and I'm going to put a stop to this madess.
Go out...,

...tell our soldiers
to stop fighting...

...and to pull back
to the Midian highlands.

Then send a messenger
to the thessalians...

And tell them that I'm
ready to talk.

But, sir, we're winning!

Both sides have already lost.

Do it.

That's an order.

Yes, sir.

Listen, you, me...

Gabrielle, come on, you're gonna be fine.

-What's happening?
-I don't know.

Gabrielle!

She's dead...

She is not dead...

I wouldn't let her.

Come on, Gabrielle, wake up.

Come on, wake up.

Come on, wake up.

You're scaring me. Wake up.

Wake up.

Gabrielle, breathe.

Come on, breathe, breathe.

Maybe she just needs air.

I need to get some air in her lungs.

Come on, breathe!

Please, stop it...

She's dead now.

She's in a much better place.

Get out of my way!

You don't know anything!

Don't you listen to him. Come on,
I know you're in there, prove it.

You can show him.

Come on.

Wake up and breathe...

You never ran from anything in your whole life.

-Come on, fight!
-Xena...

-Fight!
-Xena!

It's time to stop now.

-Let her cross over peacefully.
-What do you know?

You've killed so many...

So have you.

Let it go.

No.

No. Come on, Gabrielle. Come on.

Come on.

Don't leave me.
Don't you leave me!

Don't leave me!
Don't leave me!

Wake up!

Wake up!

Wake up!

You're Aesclepius! You've come back to Earth!

Get up, Galen.

I'm not Aesclepius.
You should know that by now.

It's Gabrielle who performed the miracle...

Didn't 'cha?

I've come to say goodbye.

I must return to my men
and start negotiations with Thessaly.

With some hard work,
the killing will stop.

-I wish you much success.
-Thank you, Xena.

You and your friend have been
an inspiration to me.

Tell Gabrielle that
I did find that peace within me...

-...and I plan to share it.
-I will.

-Oh, one thing.
-What's that?

You did this, didn't you?

I'm sorry about that...

Don't be. I have had worse wounds, but...

...never one that taught me so much.

-Goodbye, Xena.
-Goodbye, Marmax.

What are you doing?

I'm writing down everything you taught us.

I want all future generations
of healers...

...to understand what values
you feel are necessary to practice.

We must pass on your wisdom.

I'm not that wise...

I've made plenty of mistakes.

There's a lot about me
you shouldn't enter there.

Yet, so much more that we should.

I hope one day that I, too,
will make a great healer.

You already are. You've got the
most important quality.

You care enough about your patients
to search for the truth...

...no matter what.

Thank you.

I've been thinking about...

...Redesigning the inside of the temple...

...and starting to teach
medical technique, ethics...

...But most important of all,
the honor of being a healer.

Maybe I'll make them take an oath.

I'm sure you'll think of something.

Gabrielle... Gabrielle.

-Good morning.
-Good morning.

-Look...
-Come on... Sit up...

I'm an aunt.

Xena.

Yeah?

I wanted to thank you
for saving my life...

...again.

You always seem to be doing that.

It was your decision to come back.

Well, how could I leave you?

We have so many wars to stop
and despots to foil.

You're gonna need my help.

I couldn't do it without you.

But you're gonna have to rest up for a while.

You know, you're not gonna believe this, but...

...I had the most amazing dream
when I was on the other side.

There was this green, peaceful pasture,
with the most beautiful trees.

And I saw my grandmother,
and my uncle Morose, and...

-You wanna hear about it?
-I can't wait.

And Talus was there.
Oh, he says hello, by the way.

You know, we had a beautiful...

Subtitles: @marlonrock1986 (^^V^^)