Xena: Warrior Princess (1995–2001): Season 1, Episode 13 - Athens City Academy of the Performing Bards - full transcript

Gabrielle auditions to attend the Athens City Academy to train as a bard -- but others trying for the few open spots include Homer and Euripides.

Wait, wait!

Just hold it there a minute!

You know, it's not polite
to interrupt a bard...

...when she's relating
a heroic tale.

But you said it was day.

Excuse me?

It was morning, when this
Xena lady, got loose.

So it was day, not night.

-Right.
-That's right.

Very well.

Day.



And out of nowhere, Xena came upon
a fierce-hooded warrior...

...who had just laid waste
to a group of villagers.

She fought valiantly
until he vanished.

She tended the wounds
of a fallen man.

She did everything she could to help.

-But...
-Press down on this as hard as you can.

We've got to stop the bleeding.

No! Stay away from him.

Haven't you got enough blood...

The villagers believed
that she had killed their friends.

Nobody here cares
that she didn't kill anyone.

Nobody cares
that she was only trying to help.

Nobody believes that she fought
the real murderer.

All you care about
is executing someone.



But they refused to listen.

Everybody! Hear me, my friends!

-Until...
-This brave and noble woman...

...She was the last thing I saw...

...battling a cowardly hooded
man who attacked us.

She fought him for our lives,
though we were total strangers.

Truly, I say she
is the very soul of goodness...

...and we thank her with all our hearts.

And with that they knew
the real Xena.

-Great story, nice job.
-Thank you.

-That was really good.
-Thanks.

That was beautiful.

-Who trained you?
-Trained me?

Oh, no one.

Not in the classical sense. I just...

...I like stories.

And you're going to the competition?

What competition?

The bard competition...

...for the Athens City
Academy of the Performing Bards.

Only the top four contestants
will get an invitation.

I'm... I'm hoping I'll be one of them.

-You tell stories too?
-Yes, he does.

But he doesn't have time
to tell them now.

Dad, she's great. I was just
telling her she should sign up.

It's not nice to give someone
false hopes, son.

I'm sure your story
was cute.

Cute?

But the academy only takes
talented individuals.

The roster is already full.

And besides, being a bard
is not for young ladies.

Stories of housework
are just not popular.

Come on.

"Stories about housework"...

"Cute"...

I just talked
to this guy from Keremus.

There's a cyclops there
stealing cattle from the local farmers.

We can be there
by tomorrow morning.

I guess I don't have to ask you
if you're interested.

How far is it to Athens?

In the time of ancient gods...,

warlords

and kings,

a land in turmoil
cried out for a hero.

She was Xena.

A mighty princess

forged in the heat of battle.

The power.

The passion.

The danger.

Her courage will change the world.

XENA - WARRIOR PRINCESS

I have always wanted to study at the academy.

And I might finally have my chance.

Are you sure it's not just to
show up this guy's father?

Well... Ok, so he irks me a bit.

But... This is the academy!

Am I supposed to pass up
my shot at a dream come true?

Nope.

No one should
pass up their dreams.

How long would you be gone?

Maybe four or five years, or...

Maybe a little less,
if I study real hard.

You'd hardly notice I was missing.

Even if I had
an army around me...

...I'd still notice you were missing.

You want some company?
At least as far as Athens.

Well...

You've got that cyclops problem in Keremus
to take care of...

...and, in case I don't get in...

You'll get in, Gabrielle.

You're a good storyteller.

I only remember one story
told me when I was young.

It was about two orphans
who decided...

...to search the world
for their families.

And it's all about their adventures
and how they kept searching.

But the part I remember most
is the end...

-And when the first man...
-...reached the end of his journey...,

...he found himself at the beginning.

The family he had sought
had travelled the world with him.

The only family he had ever known...,

...ever needed...,

...was standing right beside him.

I know the story.

Thanks for being my family.

You're like a sister to me.

Now, go get your dream.

He...

...draws his sword.

He draws...

He draws...

...his sword.

I hope I don't do this...

...when I get up to talk.

Hey, just calm down.

If it bothers other people,
let it be their problem.

Storytelling isn't
diction, it's the story.

Hey, hi, you made it.
That's great.

-I just thought I'd give it a look.
-Her vision fell upon the countenance...

-...of a horrific specimen.
-A lot of people here.

Yeah, some of the competition
is really good.

That guy over there...

...That's Euripides.
He tells a story...

...if you can stay
awake long enough.

And...

...Stallonus? There's no way
to fall asleep with his stories.

And he stabs him!

You know, we never got
to proper introductions.

I'm Gabrielle.

Gabrielle... I like the sound of it.

I hate like my name.

I'm gonna change it to something
dramatic, something heroic.

How about...

...Draco?

-Draco...
-Yeah...

No, no, no.

Not Draco.

He's a villain.

You see, I've met Draco.

Draco... He was about to slaughter
a village when Xena stepped in.

We could be great together...

You must know by now
you can never escape your past.

Xena, celebrate you dark side,
don't run away from it. Ride with me.

You said one way or the other...

It's the other.

Xena met his challenge...
A fight to the death.

Whoever touched the ground first,
would lose.

And then he departed never
to stain the grounds of the village...

...with his presence again.

Ok. So Draco's out.

I have to come up with something.

How about...

...Orion? There's a heroic name.

Orion...

I like it.

Your name?

An appellation does not illuminate
the foreboding mysteries...

...of one's etheral essence.

Was your name
in there someplace?

Euripides.

Ah.

Euripides.

You're lodging in the
hall of Zeus, room 12.

Twelve...

The blessing of the zodiac...
It bodes well.

Next.

Gabrielle.

-No.
-Oh, it's got to be there.

Are you sure?

Well, did you look?

What about under here?

Oh! I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.

Sorry.

Here, let me look...

Yep, clean this up.

Sorry.

What about this one?

Yes, here it is.

Gabrielle.

This is very strange.

They forgot to
list your lodging.

They did?

I specifically asked for
the double-bed with the view.

For the time being you'll be staying
in the servants' quarters...

...in the hall of Zeus.

All artists suffer for their art.

Next.

Take your seats, please.

So we can begin.

Hey!

For the next few days, your
lives will be given over to the Muse.

At the end of that time, four
will be chosen from this group to continue on.

Great storytelling...

...It comes
from our observation of life.

-How does one relate the mysteries...
-What's the matter?

Nothing, I'm just
thinking like a friend of mine.

I mean, what could happen here?

As I was saying...

How do we translate an event...

...into a rivoting,
engaging story?

That is the goal of the bard!

He's getting away!

-Are you all right?
-That's enough!

Calm down! Everyone, settle down!

What you saw just now was an event.

Now, how do you make it
into a story?

That was a cheat.

-Excuse me, young lady?
That wasn't an event.

That was a manipulation.

You see, the real story would be now
if you were really dead.

Because most people
think of death as the end...

...when, in fact, death
can be the beginning...

...of a wonderful tale.

It all started in a king's castle.

All right, Sisyphus.
But this doesn't change things.

As soon as we're finished, we will go.

Splendid. After all...

...a visit from you happens
only once in a lifetime.

Death, mighty as she was...,

...was captured by Sisyphus.

Do you realize
what this means?

Of course.

Xena and I had
to battle Toxeus...

...and his army of undead
warriors to free her...

...and return her
to her eternal flame.

And as Death was freed...

...died the evil that was Toxeus.

...someone else needs me.

Then came the hardest part.

I had to say goodbye to
someone I cared for.

Wait.

Wait. There's been some kind of mistake.

No.
Gabrielle, it's no mistake.

This can't be happening.

We'll meet each other again,
someday.

On the other side.

You won't forget me?

How could I?

And we learn not to fear death...

...but to accept it...

...as a part of life.

You see? There was...

There was no moral
to your faking your death.

You were great.

Hey...

Gabrielle...

Can we talk later
about storytelling?

Yeah, I'd like that.

Son! Come here!

She's the competition.

Now, remember what I told you...

Keep to yourself. When we get in...

And he ripped his chains from the wall!

And then he... Like he ran through
and knocked over a door.

And like out there there was all
these guys fighting...

And then, and then, and then come around.

Hey!

Ok! Ok!
Ok! Ok!

But what's the moral?

Well...

The moral is actually,
it's kills all the bad guys.

What? That's not enough?

It's a little...

...empty.

Not that it wasn't exciting, I mean...

You really had me going when
he tore the chains from the wall.

Yeah.

It's just...

Well, when I tell a story,
I like it to have a nice ending.

You know? Sap up the wrap-up.

Even if you twist
the Muses' melodious song of truth...

...into a deceptive
sirens' call.

Do you always talk like that?

I...

...told him you
knew Xena, but...

...he doesn't believe me.

There are stories
of the Warrior Princess...

...that are so cold
as to chill the heart.

I relate such a tale
as told to me...

...by a witness to
the woe and suffering.

She was merciless...

...using her feminine wiles...

...in her acts of
unscrupulous treachery.

-Do you do this for all your warriors?
-Only special ones.

I hope there aren't too many of those.

Right now, there's just you.

Come back later.

But Hercules is here!

Hercules?

-He must've followed us.
-Why would he do that?

Perhaps he doesn't trust me
with you.

He shouldn't.

Or maybe he doesn't think you're
man enough to help me.

Get out of here!

You haven't answered my question.

And Xena succeeded in
her dastardly scheme...

...to turn the two
comrades against each other.

That is the story of
the killer known as Xena.

Know what I heard about her?

She would take out her swords and...

...slash!

And again! And she'd block!

And again!

And then... Right in the gut.

Well?

Ok.

I can't argue with that.

But it's only half the story.

You see?

Inside all of us...

...there's a yearning to do good.

...To be good.

And it's the same
with the Warrior Princess.

-I thought I'd killed them both.
-Kill it!

Stop!

You kill this baby, you die next.

Contrary to what
some might think...

...I still lead this army.

The child should have meant nothing...

...but it was the beginning for Xena.

But the past is a harsh
and unwilling mistress to change.

Her own men put her
through a gauntlet of death.

But now that good has taken root.

The will to survive
was too great.

Her destiny now was
to fight for the innocent.

And that is what she's done.

And with that, Xena became good.

Tell us another.

That's enough talk
about my best friend.

I'd like to get
some sleep, please.

-I wanted to...
-Euripides...

Good night.

-Good night.
-Good night, Twickenham.

Good story, huh?

I wonder what
adventures Xena's into now.

...And the mightiest sword could
not cleave the medal of righteousness.

And so he went on
to find love and passion...

...with the wife
he knew so well...

...and yet knew not.

How was that?

I couldn't see it.

I'm sorry. I couldn't see anything.

It used to be so easy...
Why can't I do it anymore?

I mean, I've been telling stories
since I was five.

Why do you stare at me
when you tell the story?

So I can
judge your reaction.

My dad wants me to be able
to adjust my story...

...if I see the slightest hint
of boredom or distraction.

When I was little,
I didn't look at anybody.

I just used to close my eyes...

...and try to see the story
take place.

I didn't care
whether the audience liked it...

Only whether I did.

If you don't like it, nobody else will.

I guess.

My dad says I can like it,
after I'm in the academy.

First things first.

He's right, of course.

Even if his son has
to be miserable to get there?

Gabrielle, we need to speak with you.

I'm afraid it has come to our attention
that you are not supposed to be here.

But... I have a room.

I didn't say you weren't clever.

Polonius?

My son and I ran into
this young lady in a tavern.

She didn't know about the academy
until my son told her.

You couldn't have been registered
at that time.

And my records don't show
a Gabrielle anywhere.

Pack your things and leave.

This meeting is closed.

Hey, what's with the long faces?
It's not the end of the world.

I've got a place to go.

Oh, bravery comes forth from
your valiant heart like...

...sap from a wounded oak.

Thanks, Euripides. It's sweet...

I think.

I can't believe my father did this.

I'm so sorry...

Orion, it's not your fault.

Good-byes are...

What Twickenham is trying to say...

...is that separation tears
the heart's core...

...like the fearsome blade of Ajax
toward the ligaments of...

No!

I'm saying...

...good-byes are hard.

You're right. They are hard.

And just when we were
getting to know each other, huh?

It seems like that
happens a lot to me.

What do you mean?

Well...

Like when I met
Hercules' best friend.

Iolaus.

Hello.

Hello. You're the one interested
in the Aphrodite shell, right?

Better snap it up quick,
before he gets it... Five dinars.

I'm afraid you have me confused
with someone else.

I liked him right away.

I didn't know if I'd ever
see him again, but then...

...he showed up at just the right time.

It turns out
we had a lot in common.

When he was hurt, we
really opened up to each other.

Let me tell you another story.

Once a long, long time ago...

...all people had
four legs and two heads.

And then the gods threw down thunderbolts...

...and split everyone into two.

Each half then
had two legs and one head.

But the separation
left both sides...

...with a desperate yearning
to be reunited...

...because they each shared
the same soul.

And ever since then,
all people...

...spend their lives searching...

...for the other half of their soul.

It was nice getting to know you.

It was more than nice.

And then, we had to say goodbye.

It looks like I'll be saying it again.

Wait!

I've got an idea.

What?

Your farewell is not reciprocated.

The morning dew must not touch
the curvature of your fleeing souls.

-Our reverie has brought us...
-Stay through tomorrow's competition.

Please.

For today's round of competition...

...we're honored to have
acting as senior judge...

The great bard, Gastacius.

Twickenham, the stage, please.

Twickenham, is there a problem?

No.

No, I'm not gonna do it.

None of us will be performing
unless Gabrielle is allowed to compete.

Gabrielle cheated her way
into the competition.

She's been disqualified.

You do know you could
be disqualified for this too?

Then we shall all join
the army of the dispossessed.

The Muses call
shall not play lord...

...over my soul's
higher self.

What are you doing?

None of us will compete
unless Gabrielle is reinstated.

Don't do this.

Please, not for me.

They didn't mean it.

I'll talk to them.

Gastacius says he'd like
to see the girl perform...

...when you're ready.

I'm kind of on-the-spot here.

I wasn't expecting to do this.

Then again...

...I wasn't expecting to find
a baby in a stream.

But there it was.

And then we had to find a
home for this innocent child.

But returning the baby to its home
wasn't going to be that easy.

The child was quite courageous
in the face of danger.

Gabrielle, the baby!

Oh, no!

In the end, goodness won out,
and the child landed in safe hands.

What you have done here is madness!

It's madness that this young woman
was left out of this competition.

She must be allowed in.

Art will never take second place
to rules and regulations.

Here, here. Well said.

And so Atlas holds...

...on his mighty shoulders,
the Earth for all eternity.

That was great.

-Your performance was bold.
-Very good.

No, it was terrible. Come here.

Start at the beginning, right now.

I sing of Atlas, greatest of titans.

What'd I tell you?
Keep your eyes on me.

Start again.

I sing of Atlas, the greatest titan.

Greatest of titans! Come on!
Focus, focus!

Read your audience!
Get the words right.

He'd do better
if you'd let him be himself.

Don't listen to her.
She wants you to lose.

Do it again.

I sing of Atlas, the greatest of titans.

This is not a game!

Come on! Give me a performance!

Stop it!

Orion!

It was night.
A creature came into the camp...

And had a horn.

And... And they fought...

They fought with everything they had.

And his horn on his nose...

And they're bracing and fighting.

And there's this smoke coming out of his nose.

I think if you had a little more
character stuff and a little less action...

...you might live through the competition.

You win.

What are you talking about?

Orion quit the competition
and left for home.

I hope you're happy with yourself.

-Orion!
-Leave me alone.

Orion!

You can't give up.

Didn't you tell me
"If it's not fun, don't do it."?

Well, it's not fun for me anymore.

Then make it fun again.

Yeah, that's easy for you to say.

It's been so long since
I've told a story my way...

...I don't know if I can,
or if my father will let me.

Your father loves you.

You said it yourself. He only
wants the best for you. He's...

...just a little confused
on how to do it.

I'll bet your father misses the good stories
you used to tell as much as you do.

Ok. How?

Stop focusing on the destination.

-It's the journey that's the fun part.
-What do you mean?

Well, it's what I've learned
from travelling with Xena.

Every day is a new
adventure, a new challenge.

You have to look forward to that.

Your father has you thinking
only of winning.

But you're never going to get there
unless you enjoy the process.

Do you understand?

I'm gonna compete in the finals.

-Son, listen!
-I'm gonna do it my way, Father.

And that is final.

This is the story...

...of two friends.

They met each other in the
hardest of times.

They learned how to care for each other.

It's hard to be alone...

You're not alone.

They became a great team.

They had adventures.

Xena, I'm gonna fall!

Hurry!

Hold on! I'm coming!

-Jump!
-Are you crazy?

Jump!

If I die, I'll never
talk to you again!

Jump, Gabrielle, come on!

Jump!

You call that a jump?

No, it was a frantic leap!
Best I could do!

Hold the reins.

Some adventures
ended better than others.

And together...

...they learned life's mysteries.

See how calm
the surface of the water is?

That was me once.

And then...

The water ripples and churns.

That's what I became.

But if we sit here long enough,
it will go back to being still again.

It will go back to being calm.

But the stone's still under there.

It's now part of the lake.

It might look as it did before,
but it's forever changed.

Thank you.

-Good job.
-That was fantastic.

The cadence of your words...

...played havoc
with the fallen visage of my yearning spirit.

-I liked it a lot.
-Thanks.

You did great.

Hey, you will too.

Remember what you told me.
You used...

...to close your eyes and see
the story come to life.

See it again, Orion.

I intend to.

-Has he shielded his orbs?
-Yes.

I sing of Spartacus...

Rebel gladiator.

He fell in love while
fighting for freedom.

I imagine...

...a god for slaves, and...

I pray.

What do you pray for?

I pray for a son who'll be born free.

The terrible penalty of
crucifixion has been set aside...

...on the single condition that
you identify the body or the living person...

...of the slave
called Spartacus.

I'm Spartacus.

I'm Spartacus.

I'm Spartacus.

In spite of his great suffering,
his dreams were realized.

This is your son.

He is free, Spartacus.

Free.

He's free.

He's free.

He'll remember you, Spartacus.

Because I'll tell him.

I'll tell him who his father was
and what he dreamed of.

I wish you were gonna stay.

It wasn't meant to be.

Congratulations.

See if you can get
Euripides to relax a little.

I'll see what I can do. Hey, Stallonus
doesn't seem too disappointed.

He's better suited for the olympics.

But Twickenham...

I was so glad to see him get in.

Gabrielle...

Thanks.

You taught me how to be myself.
I'll never forget it.

Goodbye.

What is your real name,
in case you get famous or something?

Homer.

But Gastacius wants
to call me the "blind bard"...

...because I close my eyes.

Homer...

I like it.

-Goodbye.
-Goodbye, Gabrielle.

I'm proud of you, son.

-Are you happy?
-Yes, Dad.

Thanks for asking.

Thanks for caring.

Hi.

So, who won?

I did.

Then what are you doing here?

Well, I know this is gonna sound stupid...

...but I realized that
while they're telling adventures...

...you and I can be living them.

Well, it's good to have you back.

This is gonna make a great story.

Subtitles: @marlonrock1986 (^^V^^)