X-Men: Evolution (2000–2003): Season 2, Episode 8 - Joyride - full transcript
The younger students are sneaking out at night and taking the X-Men's vehicles for joyrides.
Something we can do for you, bub?
Yeah. I've come to join the X-Men.
You're kidding, right?
You heard me, I want to be an X-Man.
I'm serious.
Yeah, right,
and I want to be the tooth fairy.
Now, just a minute.
Let's hear what he has to say.
All right, Lance. Tell us,
why do you want to join the X-Men?
Yeah. Don't you like living
with those losers anymore?
No, they're all right.
What are you up to, Lance?
You didn't bust in to make jokes.
Well, I... Let's just say it was time
for a change, okay?
Fair enough. Why don't we give it a try?
- Professor, I...
- Kitty, would you show Lance...
...to one of the guest rooms?
- Whatever. Follow me.
Just kidding.
Professor, I think this is a mistake.
I know Lance wouldn't do this
unless he wanted something.
Yes, I agree.
What he wants is to be near Kitty.
- But...
- I believe he's genuine...
...about his feelings for her,
and maybe that's a good beginning.
Now, let's give him a chance.
Here you are, sir. Sorry there's no mints
on your pillow...
...but you'll find some gum
under the chair.
Hey, not bad.
Of course I'll have to grunge it up some
before it feels like home.
There. All unpacked.
Well, then, welcome to Mutant Manor.
Breakfast is at 7.
Lance, look, I think it's cool you wanna be
an X-Man, really, but watch it.
This place is no walk in the park, and the
other guys aren't gonna cut you any slack.
Come on, I can handle it.
How tough can it be?
Pre-flight systems checked.
All right, Iceman, take her out.
- Nice and slow.
- All right. Hang on to your lunch.
Hey, slow down, will you?
Yes!
Man.
Pull up! Pull up!
I don't feel so good.
Hey, did you see? Were you watching?
This time it took me twice as long
to crash and burn.
Yeah. Look, kid, that kind of hot-dogging
ain't gonna cut it in a real battle.
You gotta think before you start playing
cowboy commando.
Lance? Are you okay?
Hey, piece of cake.
Told you there was nothing
to this X-Man stuff.
Well, good.
You think you were hard on him?
After all, you've been known to do
a little hot-dogging yourself.
Yeah, but I can walk away from a crash.
They can't.
Well, what are you looking at, elf?
Keep sweeping. You still got another week
of probation to work off.
Yes, sir. Sorry.
Yeah, and when you're finished,
you can mop out the simulator.
Yeah, sure. Who wouldn't want
to be an X-Man? It's so fulfilling.
Hey, your new uniform looks a lot better
than that fruit bowl you used to wear.
- All right!
- Nice going!
- Nice work, Lance.
- Yeah!
Watch this.
Okay. Victims, stand by. Rescuers ready.
Wrong victim, Alvers,
and you just drowned two people.
- Yeah, but look who I rescued.
- Creep!
Nice car, Summers.
Hey, who's been messing with my car?
- See you.
- Alvers!
- Later, guys!
- Later, dude.
Hi, Lance. Long time no see.
Yeah. Where you been, old buddy?
Get your hands off me, wide load.
You know, we heard
the craziest thing, Lance.
Somebody said
you were living with the geek squad.
Yeah? Is that what they said?
I knew it! Mystique's gonna hand you
your left arm when she gets back.
She's not coming back.
The Brotherhood is history.
You guys just don't know it yet.
Oh, yeah? Well...
- Well...
- Witty comeback, Blob.
You're becoming one of them, aren't you?
You're becoming an X-Man.
- So what if I am?
- Say what?
Man, to think I used to look up to you.
You're making a mistake, Lance.
You'll never fit in with those guys.
And they're never gonna accept you.
Hello? Is anyone there?
Man, this is awesome!
Hey, check this out.
Look at all these controls.
Hey, what does this do?
It didn't do anything.
How about this one?
Nothing.
- Try all the other buttons.
- Let me try some.
Man, this X-Van stinks.
It doesn't do anything.
New recruits, there will be a special
early-morning session with Logan.
Report to the hangar immediately.
Wash the uniforms, wash the van,
wash the jet.
This probation is turning my fur kinky.
Logan, you think you're
pushing these kids too hard?
No. It's good for them.
And here's our pride and joy, the X-Jet.
Does Mach 5 at 40,000 feet,
with every new power-thrust, camouflage...
...stealth capability
the professor can dream up.
It'll outrun, out-fly and out-fight
anything on two wings...
...and still make a great cup of coffee.
No finger marks.
I just spent a month detailing this baby.
Oh, sorry.
Hey, does this demo mean
we're gonna get to fly the real jet this time?
Yeah, that'll happen.
Let's try something a little smaller.
- Like the X-Van.
- Hey, shouldn't we...?
What happened to the van?
I bet I know.
Come on, guys, please.
I'll be really quiet, I promise.
We told you, forget it.
You make too big a crowd, literally.
- Now, get back to bed, all of you.
- I never get to go.
- What?
- Lance. Lance, wake up.
We're going on another joyride.
You wanna come?
- You're gonna get the blame anyway.
- Forget it.
You got me in enough trouble,
now leave me alone.
Okay, your loss, but this time,
we're taking something else.
Something bigger and faster.
- Hot diggity.
- Cool.
- You guys sure about this?
- Yeah! Let's do it.
Bigger and faster?
The X-Jet!
Kitty, wake up.
- Lance? What are you doing here?
- Follow me.
- Bobby, I just don't know about this.
- Can't stop now.
We are rolling.
- Oh, man, those stupid kids!
- Kids? What kids?
- Lance, what are you...?
- Start phasing.
- Get the doors open. Get them open!
- I can't find the switch.
Here it is.
I almost had to change my shorts.
All right! Hang on to your lunch.
Hey, all right!
Hey, guys, check this out.
Hang on, let's see what this baby can do.
Oh, they are so in trouble.
Take my hand.
- What are you guys doing...?
- Oh, man, look what you did.
- We're picking up speed!
- Oh, no, it seized up.
I can't slow this thing down.
I just remembered, I hate flying.
- I'll try to fix it.
- X-Jet to base. X-Jet to base.
Oh, it's no good, the radio's fried.
One of these switches
has gotta do something.
What the devil is that?
Patrol one-zero-niner to unknown aircraft,
you are traveling in restricted airspace.
Identify yourself.
- Oh, man. I'd better...
- Forget it.
I'm taking charge as of now.
We gotta show them we're friendly.
Is this the PA system?
Incoming!
Patrol one-zero-niner to base,
we've got a hostile aircraft here.
Permission to engage.
Bobby, what do those little blips
on the screen mean?
- Oh, no, heat seekers!
- I got it covered.
Bobby, try it now.
- The propulsion's cut.
- All right!
I'm new at this,
but isn't that a bad thing?
Well, it depends how you feel
about emergency landings.
My hero.
- We got more company!
- Not for long.
- They're firing on us.
- Out of the way.
Pull up!
- I can't lose them.
- I can, I think.
- Head into that mesa.
- What?
Just do it.
- Did you just see that?
- No, and you didn't either.
Now, let's get out of here.
That was close.
I can't believe it.
Alvers, you took another joyride,
didn't you?
- Actually...
- Yeah, I did it.
- So?
- I knew it.
No, he didn't...
...we did. Lance was only trying
to stop us. We took the X-Van too.
Who's "we"?
- And Scott's car.
- And your motorcycle.
My motorcycle?
Just kidding.
Well, luckily, there's been
no official mention of the incident.
The military must believe it was a UFO...
...so they're no doubt covering it up.
Now all I've got to do is wax the X-Jet,
and my probation is history.
Oh, man, this is gonna take a lot of wax.
That's all right, Kurt.
Consider your probation over.
Yours, however, is just beginning.
You can start by cleaning up the X-Jet.
I guess we all owe you an apology,
especially me.
Save it, Summers, I'm out of here.
Lance, we're sorry. It's been a
challenging transition for us all.
Please stay, Lance.
Sorry. Living with the Brotherhood's
a piece of cake compared to you guys.
- You're way too high-maintenance.
- Well...
...if you ever change your mind...
Yeah. I've come to join the X-Men.
You're kidding, right?
You heard me, I want to be an X-Man.
I'm serious.
Yeah, right,
and I want to be the tooth fairy.
Now, just a minute.
Let's hear what he has to say.
All right, Lance. Tell us,
why do you want to join the X-Men?
Yeah. Don't you like living
with those losers anymore?
No, they're all right.
What are you up to, Lance?
You didn't bust in to make jokes.
Well, I... Let's just say it was time
for a change, okay?
Fair enough. Why don't we give it a try?
- Professor, I...
- Kitty, would you show Lance...
...to one of the guest rooms?
- Whatever. Follow me.
Just kidding.
Professor, I think this is a mistake.
I know Lance wouldn't do this
unless he wanted something.
Yes, I agree.
What he wants is to be near Kitty.
- But...
- I believe he's genuine...
...about his feelings for her,
and maybe that's a good beginning.
Now, let's give him a chance.
Here you are, sir. Sorry there's no mints
on your pillow...
...but you'll find some gum
under the chair.
Hey, not bad.
Of course I'll have to grunge it up some
before it feels like home.
There. All unpacked.
Well, then, welcome to Mutant Manor.
Breakfast is at 7.
Lance, look, I think it's cool you wanna be
an X-Man, really, but watch it.
This place is no walk in the park, and the
other guys aren't gonna cut you any slack.
Come on, I can handle it.
How tough can it be?
Pre-flight systems checked.
All right, Iceman, take her out.
- Nice and slow.
- All right. Hang on to your lunch.
Hey, slow down, will you?
Yes!
Man.
Pull up! Pull up!
I don't feel so good.
Hey, did you see? Were you watching?
This time it took me twice as long
to crash and burn.
Yeah. Look, kid, that kind of hot-dogging
ain't gonna cut it in a real battle.
You gotta think before you start playing
cowboy commando.
Lance? Are you okay?
Hey, piece of cake.
Told you there was nothing
to this X-Man stuff.
Well, good.
You think you were hard on him?
After all, you've been known to do
a little hot-dogging yourself.
Yeah, but I can walk away from a crash.
They can't.
Well, what are you looking at, elf?
Keep sweeping. You still got another week
of probation to work off.
Yes, sir. Sorry.
Yeah, and when you're finished,
you can mop out the simulator.
Yeah, sure. Who wouldn't want
to be an X-Man? It's so fulfilling.
Hey, your new uniform looks a lot better
than that fruit bowl you used to wear.
- All right!
- Nice going!
- Nice work, Lance.
- Yeah!
Watch this.
Okay. Victims, stand by. Rescuers ready.
Wrong victim, Alvers,
and you just drowned two people.
- Yeah, but look who I rescued.
- Creep!
Nice car, Summers.
Hey, who's been messing with my car?
- See you.
- Alvers!
- Later, guys!
- Later, dude.
Hi, Lance. Long time no see.
Yeah. Where you been, old buddy?
Get your hands off me, wide load.
You know, we heard
the craziest thing, Lance.
Somebody said
you were living with the geek squad.
Yeah? Is that what they said?
I knew it! Mystique's gonna hand you
your left arm when she gets back.
She's not coming back.
The Brotherhood is history.
You guys just don't know it yet.
Oh, yeah? Well...
- Well...
- Witty comeback, Blob.
You're becoming one of them, aren't you?
You're becoming an X-Man.
- So what if I am?
- Say what?
Man, to think I used to look up to you.
You're making a mistake, Lance.
You'll never fit in with those guys.
And they're never gonna accept you.
Hello? Is anyone there?
Man, this is awesome!
Hey, check this out.
Look at all these controls.
Hey, what does this do?
It didn't do anything.
How about this one?
Nothing.
- Try all the other buttons.
- Let me try some.
Man, this X-Van stinks.
It doesn't do anything.
New recruits, there will be a special
early-morning session with Logan.
Report to the hangar immediately.
Wash the uniforms, wash the van,
wash the jet.
This probation is turning my fur kinky.
Logan, you think you're
pushing these kids too hard?
No. It's good for them.
And here's our pride and joy, the X-Jet.
Does Mach 5 at 40,000 feet,
with every new power-thrust, camouflage...
...stealth capability
the professor can dream up.
It'll outrun, out-fly and out-fight
anything on two wings...
...and still make a great cup of coffee.
No finger marks.
I just spent a month detailing this baby.
Oh, sorry.
Hey, does this demo mean
we're gonna get to fly the real jet this time?
Yeah, that'll happen.
Let's try something a little smaller.
- Like the X-Van.
- Hey, shouldn't we...?
What happened to the van?
I bet I know.
Come on, guys, please.
I'll be really quiet, I promise.
We told you, forget it.
You make too big a crowd, literally.
- Now, get back to bed, all of you.
- I never get to go.
- What?
- Lance. Lance, wake up.
We're going on another joyride.
You wanna come?
- You're gonna get the blame anyway.
- Forget it.
You got me in enough trouble,
now leave me alone.
Okay, your loss, but this time,
we're taking something else.
Something bigger and faster.
- Hot diggity.
- Cool.
- You guys sure about this?
- Yeah! Let's do it.
Bigger and faster?
The X-Jet!
Kitty, wake up.
- Lance? What are you doing here?
- Follow me.
- Bobby, I just don't know about this.
- Can't stop now.
We are rolling.
- Oh, man, those stupid kids!
- Kids? What kids?
- Lance, what are you...?
- Start phasing.
- Get the doors open. Get them open!
- I can't find the switch.
Here it is.
I almost had to change my shorts.
All right! Hang on to your lunch.
Hey, all right!
Hey, guys, check this out.
Hang on, let's see what this baby can do.
Oh, they are so in trouble.
Take my hand.
- What are you guys doing...?
- Oh, man, look what you did.
- We're picking up speed!
- Oh, no, it seized up.
I can't slow this thing down.
I just remembered, I hate flying.
- I'll try to fix it.
- X-Jet to base. X-Jet to base.
Oh, it's no good, the radio's fried.
One of these switches
has gotta do something.
What the devil is that?
Patrol one-zero-niner to unknown aircraft,
you are traveling in restricted airspace.
Identify yourself.
- Oh, man. I'd better...
- Forget it.
I'm taking charge as of now.
We gotta show them we're friendly.
Is this the PA system?
Incoming!
Patrol one-zero-niner to base,
we've got a hostile aircraft here.
Permission to engage.
Bobby, what do those little blips
on the screen mean?
- Oh, no, heat seekers!
- I got it covered.
Bobby, try it now.
- The propulsion's cut.
- All right!
I'm new at this,
but isn't that a bad thing?
Well, it depends how you feel
about emergency landings.
My hero.
- We got more company!
- Not for long.
- They're firing on us.
- Out of the way.
Pull up!
- I can't lose them.
- I can, I think.
- Head into that mesa.
- What?
Just do it.
- Did you just see that?
- No, and you didn't either.
Now, let's get out of here.
That was close.
I can't believe it.
Alvers, you took another joyride,
didn't you?
- Actually...
- Yeah, I did it.
- So?
- I knew it.
No, he didn't...
...we did. Lance was only trying
to stop us. We took the X-Van too.
Who's "we"?
- And Scott's car.
- And your motorcycle.
My motorcycle?
Just kidding.
Well, luckily, there's been
no official mention of the incident.
The military must believe it was a UFO...
...so they're no doubt covering it up.
Now all I've got to do is wax the X-Jet,
and my probation is history.
Oh, man, this is gonna take a lot of wax.
That's all right, Kurt.
Consider your probation over.
Yours, however, is just beginning.
You can start by cleaning up the X-Jet.
I guess we all owe you an apology,
especially me.
Save it, Summers, I'm out of here.
Lance, we're sorry. It's been a
challenging transition for us all.
Please stay, Lance.
Sorry. Living with the Brotherhood's
a piece of cake compared to you guys.
- You're way too high-maintenance.
- Well...
...if you ever change your mind...