Wynonna Earp (2016–…): Season 1, Episode 2 - Keep the Home Fires Burning - full transcript

Previously on Wynonna Earp...

Why did you even come back, Wynonna?

Haven't the people who
love you suffered enough?

You said they can't attack the house!

They figured out how to
get around the bedrock!

(Wynonna): Hey, sis!

Starting again, isn't it?
We need that gun!

Wyatt Earp christened it Peacemaker.

Something awful is happening
in Purgatory. It has everything

- to do with my last name!
- Deputy Marshall Dolls.

- We monitor specific activity.
- What kind of activity?



Demons. They can blend in.
They look just like us.

Welcome to the Black Badge Division.

(loud house music playing)

♪♪ So I'll hold on ♪

♪ I'll never surrender ♪

♪ And our love's strong ♪

♪ This is forever ♪♪

Like it or not, you are now consultant
deputy for the Black Badge Division.

You need to be smart, discreet. Especially

- when you're hunting demons.
- Revenants. Wyatt Earp's kills;

- Daddy called them revenants.
- Are you sure

this is one of 'em?

Yeah.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!



OK? Government issue...

...and a lot more accurate.

- Jesus Christ!
- Woops! Sorry.

Fancy but powerless.

Pretty sure only Peacemaker
can send revheads back to Hades.

- You don't know that for a fact.
- Wanna bet? Loser buys dinner?

No. You lose, you die. OK? Besides,

- I don't gamble.
- You're sending in

- your best agent...
- My only agent.

...with the wrong gun that....

- Now, that sounds like a gamble to me.
- Good luck.

- You're not coming?
- Consider this your first solo mission.

Don't blow it.

I never blow jobs without a please first.

That joke kills with the Hell's Angels.
There's something wrong with you.

- Conceal your weapon!
- Shit! Yes, OK.

(house music playing)

Damn Earps! Always
interrupting my good time.

(woman screaming)

Special deputy! Cross-border task...!

Crazy chick with a gun!

(people screaming)

Hey, this ain't Wyatt's gun!

Ugly and dumb. You sure we haven't dated?

(grunting)

(bone cracking)

Ugh!

Bad revenant! Stay!

(people screaming)

Yep...

She better be dead.

This is for what you did to my family.

Earp, no!

(people screaming)

- What happened to discreet, huh?
- Discreet went out the window

when Red started snacking on lady fingers.

- (A woman screams.)
- Shit! Go, get him!

- Great, we lost him.
- Well, you lost him!

Black Badge is about
flying under the radar;

you flew over the radar
in a flaming, pink jet.

You made a spectacle of yourself, Deputy.

- Pink?
- Yeah, pink!

How dare you! And you owe me dinner.

Seriously, I won the bet so...

I'll settle for tacos.

- (clicking)
- Ow! Dammit!

(deep voice): What is the target?

Very well. You are it.

(man screaming)

♪♪♪

♪♪ 'Cause I gave you
all I've got to give ♪

♪ And no, that ain't no way to live ♪

♪ I told that devil ♪

♪ To take you back ♪

♪ I told that devil to take you back ♪♪

(sigh)

- (motorcycle roaring)
- (indistinct chatter)

Well, I seem to have settled
amongst a commune of artists.

(indistinct chatter)

- (motorcycle roaring)
- (indistinct rock song playing)

How are those bullet holes healing?

Better than your face.

Not to worry, gents, the new heir

is sporting tits, a
rabid case of nymphomania,

- and the wrong gun.
- She's got Peacemaker.

How long we gotta wait
till Boss has her taken out?

I do beg your pardon,

but you gentlemen seem to be having

the most delightful game of
five-card brag, and I would

- surely love to buy in.
- It's called Texas Hold 'em.

Rules have changed a lot since your day.

- Oh, I reckon I'd pick it up.
- You ain't picking up shit.

We know who you are... and who you rode

- alongside of.
- Then what better opportunity

to make me pay for my
poor choices in friends

than by taking all of my earnings?

- (indistinct chatter)
- Alright.

♪ Yeah, we do it again
and again and again ♪

Despite our trip to the big city,

Wyatt's revenants seem to be concentrated

here in Purgatory, so this
will be our battleground.

I'm telling you, none
of these are gonna work.

The Black Badge was a top-secret
branch of the Marshalls

founded in the 1900s by Roosevelt...

- Eleanor?
- Teddy...

to eradicate the paranormal forces

suddenly blossoming on
North American soil...

Do you have a flamethrower? 'Cause
a flamethrower is at least fun.

...working with your grandfather actually,

Edwin Earp, to handle things up here.

Hmm... yeah. A one-year wonder.

Family legend has it Eddie was
only the heir for like 11 months,

but came real close to sending all
77 of Wyatt's kills back to Hell.

- (crows cawing)
- 77, huh?

That's how many outlaws
we'll have to put down?

- Yeah, give or take a 7.
- So what about your dad?

- How many revenants did he...?
- Not enough.

Ah.

Well now, they're gonna
have to deal with you.

Right after you deal with
the shit ton of paperwork

you generated after last
night's disastrous takedown.

OK. Like, one blonde broke a heel,

and I was trying to smoke the revenant.

Aaah!

Our number 1 priority is to keep the public

- from learning they exist.
- People here deserve to know

what they're up against,
even if most of these people

- are dicks who hate me.
- If the public know

that demons are out
there... widespread panic.

OK. Have a little faith.

We've survived hotdog-stuff crust
pizzas, so I think we got this.

- What is that?
- Maldito, New Mexico.

The last town to realize they
were under siege from hellspawn.

- It's a crater.
- That's all that was left

after they dispatched
the Tomahawk missiles.

- To beat the bad guys?
- To contain the story.

You want this to happen to Purgatory?

Normal dudes carry baby
pictures in their wallet.

Normal's in the past, Deputy.
You're Black Badge now.

(techno music playing)

Whooo!

(Waverly): Love you!

Alright, Mr. Know-it-all,

tell me what my sister sees in that d-bag?

I couldn't tell you; I
don't do relationships.

How about smiling? You ever do that? Hmm?

(people laughing)

See, but it wasn't the
whore's burgundy corset

that gave me pause, gentlemen,
nor was it the healthy merkin

perched between that sweet
dove's legs. No, it was

that she had a tail.

An honest-to-goodness tail

as perky as a pretty puppy dog's.

But it wasn't wagging, so I was game.

(people laughing)

Why, Levi. Back for more?

I've been keeping your stake warm for you.

Bossman wants to see you.

Well, it is about time.

Gentlemen.

Ugh!

You really are a hard
fella to get ahold of.

But it's good to know that once I have

your attention, I really, really...

- Aaah! Godammit!
- Sh!

I thought we had an understanding, Hank.

You were to keep to the
outskirts of my park.

Well, I like attention. I always have.

- When you were a man?
- I still am a man

with a very specific skillset,

one I seek to exploit to financial gain

with a man such as yourself.

You ain't one of us.

(exhaling)

But I could be.

You know...

better you and yours
to follow the old codes

than these modern-day
people who follow none.

- And the Earps?
- It is just a matter

of time before they
figure out who I really am

and what I did

to their great-great-granddaddy.

Alright, I'll ante up.

Now, you fetch me something of theirs,

something that lets me
know what they're up to,

and I'll give you...

- what you really want.
- Hahaha!

And what is that?

Revenge.

(motorcycle roaring)

(blues song playing in the background)

You sure that's OK, Gus?

- You were just in the hospital.
- No, it's medicinal.

No weapons at the table.

"Medicinal," nice.

- Ah!
- Oh!

- Hey.
- Hey...

Frida Kahlo. Look what
I found at the homestead.

Awww! No way! Aw,

I loved colouring. Hey, look,

here's one of Mom, Dad, and Willa.

- Who is this nutsack?
- Language, Wynonna.

My imaginary friend.

- You adorable psycho.
- Haha!

What was his name again?
Bongo? Bill... Bilbo?

Where's my head? I forgot the carrots.

The revenants that took you; recognize them

- from your research?
- Hmm, no. Well, I was kind of

busy trying to breathe. Hey, but
listen, if I joined Black Badge,

I could bring my research

and my amazing banana muffins.

No! Did you see the bruises on my back

from last night's clubbing?
Dude, I didn't even tequila.

- Yeah, but you shot the guy. Right?
- Yeah, but I didn't quite put him down.

- (door opening)
- Oh...

- (door closing)
- Yeah, yeah, you think?

Tell me where Peacemaker is,
and I'll kill your sister fast.

It's in my panty drawer.
Why don't we go get it?

- (buzzing)
- Get away from my girls, you nutsack!

- Hey, you stay out of this, Gus!
- Like hell I will!

- Wynonna, get the gun!
- Wh-what?! What gun?

Where gun?

(dramatic music)

Bossman said I'd never take it from you.

Can't wait to prove him wrong.

No!

- (sizzling sound)
- Get it off!

Get it off! It burns!

(revenant screaming)

Red...

Red?

(cocking the gun)

We're gonna get you.

"We"? Maybe.

"You"? Doesn't look great.

Yah!

(Red growling and screaming)

- Cleanup, aisle 3.
- I'll get a cloth.

(sigh)

♪♪♪

Ya! Jesus!

- Jesus! Argh!
- ♪ All that preach ♪

- Perfect.
- I didn't know Shorty's

- had wet t-shirt competitions. You OK?
- Yeah.

Yeah. I, uh... Just a bit jumpy.

Had a... a crazy night.

Sorry I wasn't here to see it.

I've been, uh... I've been
meaning to introduce myself.

I'm Nicole. Nicole Haught.

- Hi.
- And you are Waverly Earp.

- Yes.
- Quite a popular girl around here.

Oh, you know, it's all
in the smile and wave.

Yeah.

Can I get a cappuccino to go?

Oh, I'm really sorry.
Um, we're not actually

- open yet so...
- Oh! Right! Again, my bad.

It's just when I see something I like,

I don't want to wait. And
your door was open so...

Right.

- God... Oh, God, I'm sopping wet.
- (Nicole laughing)

You know, I keep telling Shorty
he needs to fix the darn taps.

- Sorry, do you mind just, uh...?
- Oh.

I'm gonna... wear a hat so...

♪ My heart is yours ♪

- (tearing sound)
- Oh! Oh, crap! Um...

Uh, uh, officer,

I'm stuck so,

- please...
- Oh yeah. Let me help you.

- (Waverly chuckling)
- I got you.

Oh. Oh, God! Good job
you're not some guy, right,

or this would be really, really awkward...

♪ Hold your tongue ♪

Uh... Um... I-I owe you one.

Alright, well, how about you buy me
that cup of coffee? How about tonight?

- Oh, I can't.
- No?

No. I mean, I'd love to,
but... like, like to, uh...

but I have plans. Yeah. I'm a planner.

I like to know what I'm doing at least two

or three days in advance.

I'm...

I'm in a relationship. With a boy. Man.

A boy-man.

Yep, I've been there. Haha!

It's the worst.

OK, well, some other time.

I mean it.

♪ The less you know ♪

- ♪ Na na na ♪♪
- ♪♪♪

"Officer Haught."

Of course.

"Classified," my ass!

These are Purgatory Sheriff's Offices;

- you can't just commandeer them!
- Fine, I'll let you

- share the kitchen.
- Let me?!

Look, our funds have been slashed in half,

I've got one rookie officer on the roster.

I even buy the coffee myself!

Look, I'm running a
cross-border task force,

working on a joint investigation

into a sophisticated criminal
syndicate, a syndicate

that is wreaking havoc under
your do-nothing nose, Sheriff,

and you're worried about me
poaching your French roast?

I called Washington, and I called Ottawa;

nobody's even heard of your division!

- It's like the whole thing has been...
- Classified?

Consider yourself on
a need-to-know basis

from this point forward,
Nedley. And all you need to know

is that I've checked your fridge...

and your cream's expired.

♪♪ I was down to the ground ♪

We take cash. Or credit card or cash,

or personal cheque or certified cheque

or... stop me if I'm
repeating myself... cash.

We do not take pirate booty

- or whatever these are.
- OK.

Don't worry, Shorty, I got this.

I know him.

I keep telling her, you don't
have to be nice to everybody.

Oh, I appreciate the sentiment,

but I'm not sure I do know you.

And I would remember a face like yours.

(laughing): OK. Hi.

I'm Waverly. And don't do that,

I have a big, burly
boyfriend who can bring a calf

- to its knees in 8 seconds flat.
- Oh, my!

He sounds positively harrowing.

- I know what you're here for.
- Really?

Yeah. I can spot you groupies a mile away.

You know, the fake Old West
getup, the awe-struck reverence

while you gaze upon his saddlebags...

I m... I mean I totally get it,
right? You wanna keep his memory alive.

You wanna drink where Wyatt Earp

- drank!
- Wyatt didn't drink;

- he preferred ice cream.
- Uh, well, who doesn't,

right? I'm an Earp.

I-I m... I mean... I mean, "Earper."

I'm an "Earper" too. Yeah.

Found most of this stuff myself.

Don't you try to go up
against me on eBay now.

Oh, I wouldn't dream of it.

You know, I've got Wyatt's
original holster up in my apartment.

- Yeah.
- ♪ I was down to the ground ♪

Oh, which I am definitely not
inviting you up to by the way.

You are so not my type.

Darlin', I'm everybody's type.

So you sleep here too?

It's a shame a pretty
thing like you never gets

- to leave the saloon.
- You know what?

There.

Covered you out of my tips.

- I did not ask you to.
- No.

Didn't need to.

I got a good feeling about you.

And I'm an excellent judge of character.

Sweetheart...

- you really aren't.
- ♪ Break it up, break it up ♪♪

Only Peacemaker puts 'em down for good.

Long as I hit 'em between the eyes.

Oh! And revenants can't physically hold it.

Not without vibrating
faster than a... You know.

I have my toys; you have yours. Anyway.

Regular guns can slow the
revheads down, but they will

always come back for more

until they meet Peacemaker,
which only I can handle...

- (gun clattering on floor)
- Yep, in theory.

Look. I've been attacked

four times in the last three days, OK?

The homestead, Shorty's, I'm a...

I need a safe place to regroup and sleep.

- As long as you don't leave town.
- (knocking twice on door)

Hey! Check it out:

another piping hot delivery
from... Wow, "CSIS."

Oh, I'm Nicole.

Officer Haught. Y'all getting settled in

- alright? What is all this stuff?
- Nice to meet you,

Officer Haught. If you
ever enter my offices again

without knocking, I'm gonna
have you arrested for treason.

OK?

Nice to meet you too.

She did knock, Dolls. You sure
you didn't want to threaten her

- with death?
- Penalty for treason is death.

It was implied.

I know.

Red tried to get ahold

of Peacemaker; it fried
him from the inside out!

Then-then Earp picked
it up and-and-and Red...

Caught a one-way ticket down south, right?

Let me see if I got this straight.

Malcolm kills her uncle,

lures the heir back home, and now this?

How many times do I got to tell you idiots?

Peacemaker can't be
touched by revenant hand.

- But-but we-we just thought...
- Don't!

Ever! Think!

I do the thinking... for all of us.

You hear me?

Now, you wanna get out of here, Levi?

You wanna escape the
Triangle, feast on everything

- and everyone?
- Hell, yes.

Boss, it's all I want!

It's good.

So what we do... is we
create a distraction...

we bring in professional help.

If we wanna hire him...

we need a mortal's blood,

willingly given.

None of our human familiars will risk it!

So we need a sucker.

OK.

Why, I just happen to have one...

and he's mighty keen to impress me.

Now, what does one get for the
demonic sociopath that has everything?

A braver man would suggest mouthwash.

But hello...

(chuckle)

"Lonny Riggs, Henry Starr, Cole Younger"

She's got the who's who of outlaws in here.

- Lord Almighty!
- (door opening)

Whoever you are, you're
robbing my sister's place,

and that's a bad move, revenant.

Son of a bitch!

Crap!

So he was fast.

♪♪♪

I love what you've done with the place.

Another rendezvous so soon?

I suppose I should be flattered.

Now, did you bring me
something of the Earps?

- I'm working on it.
- 'Cause you're gonna enlist

someone who's gonna take care of the heir.

And once she's dead, you're
gonna bring me her gun.

Unless you got a problem with that?

The only one about to
have a problem is Wynonna.

Now, what exactly does this entail?

(scoffing)

What is this revenant's raison d'être?

- Do I know him?
- His name's Jim Miller.

Killed his grand-parents,

brother-in-law, then
anyone he was paid to.

Called him Killer Miller.

I remember.

Rumor has it was Miller, not Robert Ford,

who put down Jesse James.

Well, Robert Ford was an awful shot.

It was always said,
Miller moved like a shadow.

Now he is one.

Shadow assassin

who can only be activated
via blood sacrifice.

You outlaws sure have gotten
dramatic since you were human.

The Shadow's as far from human as it gets.

You know, the real question is:

- what the hell are you?
- Still me. Don't be jealous.

Not jealous. I'm disgusted.

You were Wyatt Earp's right hand;

what would he say if he
knew you were joining forces

with every man he ever put down?

The dead don't get a vote.

Now, are we doing this or what?

Hey, I got all 34 of your texts.

Your apartment's been broken
into; you can't go back.

Oh, what?!

- But my yoga mat is there!
- Well, it's not safe,

and neither is Gus' or Shorty's

or the back of Champ's pickup.

Ewww!

This place used to be.

Remember when Mama made these windchimes?

Do you remember? This was a home then.

You know? Never saw anything scarier

than an albino gopher.

Until the attack where half of us died.

Oh, hey, Marshal Dolls!

How old were you when the
revenants invaded the homestead?

- 12.
- 6.

- And they'd never done it before?
- Maybe they were scared

- of our dad.
- Or physically unable to step

- foot on Earp land.
- What... Hey, that's...

Ammonite. This mineral found around here?

I j... Unless you can smoke
it, I really wouldn't know.

You want a safe place?
This stuff might explain

why your ancestors built this house here.

A house that doesn't have running
water and smells like skunk hiney?

Yeah, I'll... I'll be in my car.

It's tough for her... being the youngest?

Yeah. She was 4 when Mama left.

- She just up and moved away.
- Maybe it runs in the family.

Anyways, you got a good look
at the thief at Waverly's?

- Better yet, a shot?
- (scoffs)

Yeah, I did, but he was better.

Better than what?

You two look around the homestead.

See if you see anything unfamiliar,

something occult-ish.

(scoffs)

Occult...? That is so specifically vague.

You want a safe place to lay
your head for you and your sister?

- Keep your eyes open, Earp.
- For trouble?

That too.

You really think Jim Miller
can dispatch the heir?

I've seen Ms. Earp at work up close.

She is quick. And tough too.

She might surprise you.

Yeah. The Shadow's real
particular on payment:

mortal blood.

You say you're still human...

Hold this.

Looks like it's my turn to befoul...

...someone else's abode.

(wind howling)

(deep, growling voice): What is the target?

No! I can't! I won't go back in the dark!

Give Miller his orders! Toss in something

of the heir so he knows
who the real target is!

You could not have acquainted me
with those particulars earlier?

I have nothing on my person
that belongs to Wynonna Earp!

(Shadow growling)

(deep voice): She will be mine.

What...

- was that?
- He who moves amongst

the shadows and delivers us the darkness.

The bitch heir will never survive.

Lord knows her daddy didn't.

Except that wasn't.

I tossed Miller something that
belonged to Wynonna's sister.

His mark is Waverly.

That sweet little thing?

You must really hate the Earps.

OK, so what exactly are we looking for?

Something strange and hard to explain.

Like your relationship with Champ.

Pfft! You're hardly qualified
to give relationship advice.

Remember that guy with
the satanic-face tattoo?

What? Phil really loved
Norwegian death metal.

- Oh, sure.
- Look, Waverly...

Hohohoho!

Willa, age 10...

Wynonna, age 7. Hmm...

I'm not on there, am I?

Probably rubbed off.

Yeah.

It's what I used to tell myself.

(generator powering down)

(cell phone ringing)

- Yeah?
- It's not ammonite,

- it's ammolite.
- Pfft! Amateur mistake.

Prized by the Blackfoot for
its ability to ward off evil.

Which it probably did when
you guys were growing up.

So I looked at the survey,

and the homestead's built
on a bedrock of the stuff.

Whoa, Dolls, slow down.

Remember that occult
something I told you to find?

It's a talisman made

from vertebrae and bound by iron twine.

Ew! We haven't found anything like that.

It'll be in the ground. Buried
to counteract the ammolite.

Dolls, the homestead is 10 acres;

we can't dig for it all ni...

Night... seems to have fallen awful early.

- It's dark out there?
- Yeah.

The sky's gone all weird.
Same at the cop shop?

No.

Eclipse? Storm?

- Revenant?
- Just stay near a light source.

- Why? What's coming?
- Me.

I'm 30 minutes out. I'll be there, Earp.

- (Beep!)
- (sigh)

God! I swear, I can't
get this flashlight lit!

Hey, what do you say to a
good, old-fashioned cookout?

God! How can it be dark already?

It's 4 o'clock in the afternoon.

It's Purgatory. Wait 20 minutes,

we'll be slathering on the sunscreen.

So what did Dolls say again
about the talisman being...

- Buried in the ground.
- Buried...

(man): The witching hour.
Perfect time to make a hole

- for our friend Waverly.
- Will this really

- make them happy?
- (man): This will guarantee

you all get what you deserve.

Bobo. The name of my imaginary
friend when I was growing up: Bobo!

And I'm starting to think
that he wasn't so imaginary.

- (wind howling)
- Ohhh...

God, that's super weird. What's going on?

The yard light's out.

- I'll check the generator.
- What?!

What... Wynonna, what's going on?!

Nothing. Just go inside.

Waverly, go!

(growling)

(generator humming)

(deep, growling voice):
Your hair smells like lilies.

The flower of funerals.

Worst pickup line ever.

(unsettling music)

(Wynonna panting)

(footsteps)

Die!

OK.

Creepy giant revenant alert!

Moves through shadows, sucks in light,

whispers things very high
on the disturb-o-meter.

- You need to hide.
- What?! No! No way!

Just until I get Peacemaker back.

- You "lost Peacemaker?!
- Just get in

a closet, under the bed, anywhere
the darkness can't find you.

Those are the dark places! And
hiding didn't help me last time!

- (girl screaming)
- (revenant laughing)

(girl screaming)

Shadowman is one of the revenants

- that took Daddy and Willa.
- Oh, God.

If that shit ticket
thinks he's coming in here

uninvited again...

OK. Oh, I love when you say "shit ticket."

OK, where is this thing?

- What?
- Waverly, behind you!

(Waverly screaming)

- Oh, my God!
- (Waverly panting)

- OK. Oh, shit.
- Oh, God!

- Q-q-q-quick! Quick, OK?
- (engine troubles)

- Come on, you stupid junker!
- Hello.

Oh, God! I think he is
draining the battery!

- Run! I'll hold him off.
- No! No way! This is Earp land,

- our land!
- We can't hold off revenants

from it. Not until we find the talisman...

I know because I'm the one who buried it.

Well, good idea, but we'll
never cross the fence line.

- He probably couldn't!
- No! He said it had to be an Earp!

That if I buried the
talisman in the pet cemetery,

it would stop Mom and Dad from fighting!

- Move your butt, girl!
- (Shadow growling)

It's here, beside Picachu the
hamster's final resting place.

- Right. Oh, God, I can't see a thing!
- Hey! Hey!

Hey, Dolls, listen.
Scary-light-sucking-demon-on-our-ass.

I know. I get the gist.
End it, you're the only one

- that can.
- (Shadow): Yes.

Dig your own graves.

- (gunshot)
- What was that metallic sound?

Jim Miller! Yeah, Killer Miller

used to wear a plate, an
old-time bulletproof vest!

- It's gotta be him!
- Why, your research is impeccable.

Thank you.

- What are you doing?
- Cover me?

♪♪♪

- Hey! Big and tall!
- (Miller growling)

Over here, freak nuts! Come get it!

OK.

(deep, growling voice):
You are not the target.

Bobo will be sad to lose
you, little sister...

- Waverly is the target!
- What?! Why?

Lights out, bitch.

(gunshot)

(strange growling)

Find that talisman!

Whoo!

This just got crazy!

Hey, guys, don't worry
about me. I got this!

Wynonna! Move!

(Levi grunting)

(hit)

Having an axe for anything but
wood maintenance is a felony.

- Hey, sis, finish him!
- No!

- ♪♪♪
- I need him to send a message.

I'm a dead man anyway.

- Just do it.
- Tell your boss,

whoever he is, that I'm coming for him,

coming for all the revenants

who attacked the homestead and took Willa.

The Seven? That hunting party's got

three dead heirs under their belts.

- You're just a girl.
- (heroic music)

I am the girl with the big-ass gun.

And one by one, I am going
to blow you all to Hell.

(grunting)

Got it!

OK! Batter up!

(Levi screaming)

(Waverly laughing) It worked.

Oh, come on, that was hilarious!

How did you know about the ammolite?

Been battling demons for a while now.

Yeah, how does a big-city boy end up here,

working for Black Badge?

I was recruited from the military.

For your awesome sense of humor?

Because I'm very good
at killing very bad guys.

♪♪♪

If people here find out
that this is ground zero

in a paranormal war, will
you really do to Purgatory

what you did in New Mexico?

I didn't give the orders to nuke Maldito.

I did everything I could to stop it.

- Dolls...
- Go home.

And get to making it a home, Wynonna.

Oooh! Do I get a badge?

(gasping): A code name?
Oh, my God, a flamethrower?

You will be a Black Badge consultant.

And remember our deal:
you move in here with me.

Long as I get to pick the new color scheme.

- Oh.
- OK.

- I'm thinking lots of pink.
- Just try it, kid.

Oh, come on, we could make it nice.

Look, we're already
getting a shiny new mailbox.

For some reason. (Waverly giggling)

Yeah, Henry wanted to replace it, seeing
as it had been "defiled by hooligans."

It's such a shame all the
men in this town are insane.

- Well, he can't be a revenant.
- Hmm.

Not with the ammolite working again, right?

So not the enemy. Not quite a friend...

Not a bad sight in Champ's
jeans, right? Just saying.

- That sneaky son of a bitch!
- Yeah, well,

most of my stolen stuff was returned, OK?

And he's just one of
those crazy Wyatt fans.

(Wynonna): Hmm...

(Waverly): No, he's definitely
one of the good guys.

Everything in my body tells
me he's one of the bad boys.

My entire body.

Don't you think he's a little old for you?

Careful now, I can still demote
you to Black Badge mascot.

(Wynonna chuckles)

I've been blaming you for
what happened to Daddy...

to Willa.

I was the one who planted
the talisman. It's my fault.

- Bobo tricked you.
- Still...

And when I find your
not-so-imaginary friend,

oh, honey, I'm gonna make him pay.

- Just be careful, OK?
- (chuckling): Yeah.

Careful's not really my style.

Besides how scared can
you be of a guy named Bobo?

♪♪♪

I hear tell the heir lit up your Shadow.

Seems she is more than we bargained for.

Apparently, you are too.

So then I've earned your loyalty?

It's a moving target.

Now Levi,

on the other hand,

he promised to bring me Wynonna's head.

But instead, he gave her some very

sensitive information. Now did you, Levi?

He got a lot to say about you too.

Still, you've proven to be on our side,

and now I want to show you what
happens to the ones who aren't.

- What are you gonna do with him?
- I'm not gonna do anything...

but you... you're gonna drag him

over to that wheel and chain him up,

across the line.

- What line?
- The line that keeps us here.

You see, when you drag a
revenant across the line,

it gets, uh...

ugly.

If you wanna be in...

- ♪♪♪
- (Levi hyperventilating)

I am sorry, Levi,

but it's you or me.

Please! Please! Please don't do this!

Forget what I said. You're
a good man! You got a...

You got a code! You
don't wanna do this! No!

You have no idea what I want.

(Levi howling with pain)

First, Malcolm went rogue,

then Red, and now Levi.

All who fled our flock

in a futile attempt to master a gun
that, as of now, has only a mistress.

Let no other revenant turn
away from my guidance...

on punishment of banishment

and living hell on this Earth.

- (Levi screaming)
- I swear to you,

our salvation lies not
in thieving Peacemaker,

or defeating the heir,

- but in the dig!
- (revenants agreeing) Yeah.

We stick to the plan!

We stay on course.

We let the Seven deal with
the heir while the rest of us

work, as we've been working
for 15 years, towards

one common goal:

- freedom!
- (revenants cheering)

(screaming)

I'm a man of my word, Henry.

I can give her to you.

- The woman that changed you.
- (Levi screaming)

Well then, Bobo,

we are officially in business.

♪♪♪

(Levi screaming) Help!