Workin' Moms (2017–…): Season 6, Episode 7 - Goin' Fishin' - full transcript
(Kids shout playfully)
A vaginal probe?
Uh-huh.
Like, the wand thing?
Uh-huh.
And it felt... Good?
- It felt very good.
- Huh!
An ultrasound
with a happy ending.
Good for you.
I once had an anal fissure
with a happy ending.
- Ohh!
- True story.
And now that I have
your attention,
Let me officially welcome
Sloane,
Maya, and Jenny
to val's pals.
Buckle up.
And open today's session
With a (with a French accent)
Grande announcement!
(Giggles)
(Funky music plays)
Ohhh! (Laughs)
[♪♪♪]
(laughs) Ta-dah!
Val, what the fuck
did you do?
I know, I splurged.
I got us parking vouchers.
Not the fuckin' vouchers,
val, we're talkin' about...
- That ass.
- Is that real?
- It's mesmerizing.
- Oh!
If you mean my dream derriere,
It's as real as they come.
Mel preferred my flat Stanley,
but...
I wanted something a little
more... You know.
- Enormous?
- Hmm.
Yeah, and what of it?
Honestly, I didn't think this
crowd would be so body-neg.
Enhancing our god-given
features is empowering.
So, are we making
announcements?
- Because I'm pregnant!
- What?
- Congratulations.
- Oh my god!
That's not all.
I'm engaged!
- Group: Whoa! Hey!
- Congrats again!
And I want all of you
to be my bridesmaids.
- What?
- Um...
Seriously? Us?
Well, of course, you turkeys!
Who else would I be asking?
Uh, I guess uh,
We all assumed that you maybe...
Already had uh...
More important people
in your life that you...
I do. And they're you.
Lucky ducks.
I'm just gonna say it,
Jenny.
We're not friends,
and that's okay.
Um, weird flex, Maya,
but don't worry.
- You're not invited anymore.
- Jesus.
So, who's excited?
(laughs uncomfortably)
(Giggles)
(Kate groans)
(Weakly) Yay.
(Zippers rasps)
All right, one warm lunch,
comin' up!
Uh, I'm gonna get a ride,
I'll see you after school?
You catchin' a ride
with a special guy?
Shh!
Oh, you don't have to worry
about your dad.
He is down. He's on the right
side of history.
And by the right,
I mean the left.
You know what I mean.
He'd be thrilled.
Or he'll just become
even weirder around me
Than he already is.
You guys just gotta spend
some time together, that's all.
Hey, uh, sport!
(laughs awkwardly)
- So how's it hangin'?
- Oh boy!
- Oh, sorry.
- Nathan.
- Um, hey...
- I'm-I'm good.
- Just...
- Oh yeah.
Uh, so there's this record
signing this afternoon
That I-I wanted to go to.
It's for uh, squoosh rocket.
It's at the yowling cat.
The yowling cat,
that's right by my work.
- Isn't that place kinda seedy?
- No, it's super cool.
I do need an adult to get in,
so can we go?
Oh! I wish I could,
but I can't swing it today.
Uh, but maybe your dad can,
Since it's right by his work.
I'm tied up in a hearing,
I'm really sorry.
- Another time?
- Sure, yeah.
No-no problem.
Maybe when squoosh makes
the rounds another...
30 years from now.
- Uh, I've gotta go.
- Bye.
(Sighs)
That felt like
an opportunity.
Do you want to hand him over
to Cassandra?!
What am I supposed to do,
cancel my hearing?
You know what, you just do
what you gotta do...
Sport!
Just say hi like a normal
person to him.
Lionel: Oh! Anne,
I can't believe you're back
in Cochrane.
Hey, did I mention how much
I appreciate you being here?
I could really use a friendly
face in that courtroom.
Yeah, of course.
This looks like the suit
of an innocent man, right?
Are you trying to go to jail?
Wait, what? What?!
What's wrong with it?
Hey, just checking in,
seeing how you guys are doing.
Did you give your sister
breakfast?
Yeah, I'm not gonna let
jayme starve, mom.
- Now stop calling.
- I'm sorry, it's just...
It's the first time you babysat
her overnight like this,
And I just wanna make sure
that...
That I don't burn down
the house?
Honestly, yes, that's a very
real fear of mine.
Ugh! I just...
You hate me. I got it.
Loud and clear.
Listen, Kate's phone number
is on the kitchen table,
Please just call her
at any time.
I got it.
Goodbye, already!
Don't "goodbye already" me!
Listen, I am calling back
in one hour,
And I want a full rundown
on everything
You and jayme ate and pooped,
Or there will be hell to pay,
so help me god!
- I love you.
- Hmm.
(Phone thuds)
- (Sighs) Sorry about that.
- Oh, that's okay.
I'm just grateful you're able
to see me in your home.
Sure thing.
[♪♪♪]
Listen, what do we have here?
Okay, well, I brought you
all my favourites.
I think I know what all
my favourites are right now.
I think I know too.
(both laugh)
(Clears throat)
Nice of you to get started.
Nice of you to join us.
- Come on down.
- Have a seat.
Oh. Um...
- You...
- Nice and tight.
- Yeah.
- Hmm! So...
What's first, you twinkies?
Well, I hope you brought
your sweet tooth!
Yum! Okay, ooh!
Is that the red velvet?
Oh, honey, red velvet?
Like, what year is it, 2011?
(Both laugh)
Mm! This.
This is the one.
- What is this, mango meringue?
- A man with taste!
That's my favourite, too.
Great minds.
Anyway, what about flowers?
I was thinking flower crowns
for the bridesmaids.
- Not flower crowns! No!
- Fuck crowns!
- No, no, no.
- Okay, look,
Lana del Rey moved on,
and you can, too.
Like, what's next, Mason jars,
And tables made
from barn doors?
- (Both laugh)
- Okay!
I thought this was a wedding
planning appointment,
Not a gang up on Jenny
appointment.
Honey, we're just joking,
all right?
Just relax. It's-it's a joke.
Okay? Here.
Try this mango cake.
Yeah, I am so done
with fruit cakes!
You know what?
You're fired.
- What, is she serious?
- What the hell?
- Hey, honey.
- You can go now. Bye!
Run while you can.
What the hell was that?
Look, I know this whole thing
is just for show,
And we're not like,
together or whatever, but...
That doesn't mean I'm cool
with you flirting
With our wedding planner
in front of me
When I'm carrying
your stupid child.
Can't you just at least
pretend to care?
(Sighs)
(Paper rustles)
What the fuck is this?
I booked us a suite
at the birthing centre
- For the delivery.
- Seriously?
I wanna get this right,
Jenny.
This baby deserves
the best of us.
[♪♪♪]
So, now that the book's
back on,
What's your position on using
Goldie's products?
Oh god.
(phone vibrates)
Hey, Rebecca, how's our
star journalist?
Well, Goldie got
to my sources,
And they're all backing out.
I should've known she'd have
more moves.
Sorry, what do you mean
she got to them?
She's buying them all off!
They're retracting testimonials
left and right.
Any bright ideas this time?
Uh, yeah.
Uh, come down to my office,
And I will put together
a plan for you.
You better,
because there's no book
Without these testimonials
to back it up.
Of course.
(call beeps off) Oh.
(Frustrated groan)
- What's that?
- Nothing.
Rosie?
You are not still at it?!
It's my last shipment,
I swear!
(Box thuds)
Oh!
Besides, what you,
and my mother, and my sister
Don't understand is this...
Fills me, this fills my cup!
- Oh my god.
- (sniffs)
Ohh! And how heavenly
is that lemon-fresh scent?
Take a deep relaxing whiff,
Kate.
Let it transport you.
You have a problem.
[♪♪♪]
Rebecca Anderson,
I'd like to introduce you
To Rosie Phillips,
your new insider source.
This is your plan?
Doesn't she work for you?
She does, which is why I can
speak firsthand
To the damage this little
side-hustle has done.
A side-hustle I happen
to have a real knack for.
Look at her, so addicted.
Stop.
Right, right, sorry.
I'll tell you what I know.
All right, let's hear it.
I'll take what I can get.
Don't let her down, Rose.
Hmm! (Sighs)
♪♪
Paul: Ding dong!
- Hungry?
- Come in.
Um, look, I wanted
to take you out for lunch,
But you seem like
a very busy woman,
So I thought I would bring
lunch to you instead.
Now, you mentioned you've
been craving burritos,
But you didn't tell me what
kind, so I just got them all.
We've got steak, chicken,
Pulled pork, calamari,
or veggie.
Well, that is quite
the selection.
So, what'll it be?
- I'm a steak sorta gal.
- Perfect!
Because I...
Am a pulled-pork fella.
(Wrapper rustles)
- Mmm!
- Mmm!
Mmm!
- You started reading it.
- I read it last night.
- (Taps book)
- So? What'd you think?
Honestly?
A little on the nose,
- Not really my cup of tea.
- Well, uh...
Okay. Fair enough.
So, what is your cup of tea,
then?
Like, what's the book that made
you wanna get into books?
"The raccoon and the rock."
About a raccoon
who loses her rock.
Sounds a little on the nose
for me.
It's been out of print
for years,
But this is the copy
that my dad gave me
After my mom died.
I only realized later on
in life why I connected to it.
And I guess, uh,
I wanted to bring that feeling
to others.
That's beautiful.
Oh! God, you listen
to me emoting.
It's the goddamn hormones.
Yeah, it kinda comes with
the pregnancy territory.
- Ah, can you just...
- You haven't told anyone yet?
No! And I'm not chomping
at the bit to, either.
Why not? I mean...
What do you think it says
about you?
Oh, I don't know,
That I'm feeble, imbalanced,
Unreliable, temperamental,
should I go on?
That's very interesting.
Because I think it says
you're a powerhouse.
Well, that too, obviously.
So what are you really
afraid of?
Oh, fuck!
You're right.
[♪♪♪]
- (nervous tapping)
- Deb A.
Come on, Deb A.!
I hear you.
Because if it's judge Deb T.,
uh, I got nothing.
- Jesus Christ, dude!
- I-I know.
All rise for the honourable...
Judge Deborah alabaster.
- Yes! That's a Deb A.!
- Oh! Thank god!
You might just see the light
of day after all.
Alrighty.
Psst! Annie!
The cutie committee
has a new member.
(Charms jingling)
(Jingling)
[♪♪♪]
Yeah, this isn't gonna work.
I-I appreciate Rosie's
cooperation,
But she's basically a walking
billboard for Goldie's.
Well, exactly,
she drank the kool-aid!
Technically, it was a
delicious window cleaner.
Rosie, that's not helping.
This company cost women
their families,
Their homes, their livelihoods.
Rosie hasn't really lost
anything to Goldie's...
Except her dignity.
- Sorry, no offense.
- Oh, none taken.
Look, she's a small fish.
For this book to hold up,
We're gonna need a whale.
So... Call me when you find
a whale.
(Thwarted exhale)
And I still wake up
in cold sweats
Seeing that grown man's fist
Making contact with my sweet
son's cherub face.
Oh my god.
- Judge Deb A.: You okay, hun?
- I think so.
- Have a tissue.
- Thank you.
- Fuck!
- It's just so crazy!
You're being incredibly
brave.
Thank you.
Are you still coming over
for rosé after?
Okay, that's it, I object!
- Judge Deb A.: Excuse me?!
- No, excuse me.
This is bullshit!
Why even pretend to have
a fair trial,
When clearly you are
a card-carrying member
Of the cutie committee!
She doesn't know
we call it that.
(Bangs gavel) Order!
You're not even trying
to hide your bias!
Anne, stop!
What, are you gonna give him
life in prison next?
Will you please stop?!
This charade
is a fucking joke!
Bailiff, please remove
this woman from my courtroom!
Don't worry,
I'll remove myself.
I'm going! God!
Ridiculous!
Well, Mr. Carlson, you're up.
(Courtroom door creaks open,
then slams)
(Approaching footsteps thud)
Hey, Sloane.
Well, you got us all here,
what's the big news?
Well, everyone, uh...
I cannot believe I'm about
to share this, but...
- Come on.
- Sorry, am I interrupting?
Yes, actually, who are you?
Oh! Nina! Come in.
Sloane, have you met
Nina Harris,
- Our new junior executive?
- So honoured to meet you.
Yeah, we were hoping that
you might show her the ropes.
Yeah, and this one comes
with credentials:
New publisher's award,
fountain pen publisher's award,
- Ah! (Laughs)
- The list goes on.
Anyway, uh, Sloane, what was it
you wanted to tell us?
Just that...
I...
I'm getting an ergonomic chair.
So if anyone's interested,
They're cheaper
if you order them in bulk.
Okay, you could've just
sent us an email,
But sure,
I'll take one of those.
- Yeah, yeah, why not?
- I'd love one too.
Great.
Dale: Uh... Okay!
So you're saying
that you had no intention
Of punching Mr. Brewer?
Uh, yes.
Yes, that is correct.
Well, (small laugh)
Works for me.
- Wait, that's it?
- Yeah.
Uh, your honour, motion
to represent myself?
- Huh?
- You're fired.
Motion granted. The floor
is yours, Mr. Carlson.
Um... Huh!
Okay! Uh...
I wanna tell you all a story.
Um, I want you...
I want you to close your eyes
while I tell it.
Okay? Yeah.
Go ahead, close 'em.
Nice. I want you to...
Picture a young girl walking
to school on a sunny day.
(Deep inhale and exhale)
Suddenly, uh,
a boy walks up to her,
And... He smiles at her.
He charms her.
And then that boy tells her
that the earth is flat,
Global warming is fake,
And the bees...
(sharp inhale)
The bees are doing just fine.
Suddenly, he's affecting
how she talks,
How she dresses.
And then one day,
He scolds her.
Right in front of her father,
The very man whose job it is
To protect her
from predators like him!
You see that girl?
Now imagine
she's your daughter,
And tell me that you wouldn't
want to punch
The daylights out of that punk.
I don't know if I wanna live
in a country
Where you aren't allowed
to punch that kid.
Because I believe in freedom.
Democracy.
Okay, thank you,
I rest my case.
[♪♪♪]
Hey, how have you been
feeling since your last visit?
Honestly? Like crap.
I already feel like
I'm retaining water
In my ankles,
which is bullshit,
Because they took forever
to look normal again after Zoe.
Your pregnancy is high risk,
Jenny.
At least my fiancé
doesn't seem to care.
He sleeps with men,
and they have huge ankles.
But, if anything, it's probably
brought us close together.
I mean, he did get us into
the birthing centre...
Jenny, I'm trying to tell you
That your pregnancy
is high risk.
What? No, it's not.
Why?
The heartbeat isn't as strong
As we would like it to be
at this point,
Which means, the pregnancy
may not be viable.
We'll run further tests,
But right now you're at high
risk for miscarrying.
So I recommend taking it easy,
And waiting before telling
anyone about the pregnancy.
(Voice fades)
Do you understand?
(Knocking)
Mcp: You're back!
- How'd it go?
- What?
The ultrasound.
How's baby doing?
Oh. Baby's...
Good, yeah.
Good. And um...
You're feeling okay?
Never better.
Okay.
Are-are you hungry?
I have a late meeting,
but we can go for a bite after.
I-I, I could eat.
Meet you downstairs at six?
- It's a date.
- Okay.
[♪♪♪]
Man on TV: And I just hold...
(knocking)
Man on TV: A two-year supply
of beauty products,
Courtesy of our sponsor.
(rapid knocking)
(Footsteps thud)
(Knocking, door opens)
Oh good, you're here.
I just had the most frustrating
conversation,
And honestly, I almost got
in a car accident
On my way over to tell you
about it.
Um, I-I don't know
if now's a good time.
But I-I need you now, I...
(shaky exhales)
Is this about money?
Teenagers are so greedy.
(frustrated exhale)
I think you should leave.
Why are you being so hostile?
This isn't like you.
Let-let me in.
No!
(Shuts door)
(lock clicks)
Oh my god!
(Calming exhale)
[♪♪♪]
(keys tap)
(Shaky exhale)
Hey, is it okay
if we come over?
Make yourselves comfortable,
guys.
Those scary movies
hit different
When you're home alone,
don't they?
- Yeah. I guess so.
- Well, don't you worry,
I'm not good with the spooky
stuff, either.
Hey, Nathan Jr, we got company!
- Come on, let's get some snacks.
- (small laugh)
Will the defendant
please rise?
With respect to the charge
of assaulting a minor,
I find the defendant... Guilty.
- Cheryl: Loser!
- Yeah!
Order! Order in the court!
It gives me no great pleasure
doing this,
But, Lionel Carlson,
- I sentence you to... Life.
- What?!
A life at least 500
kilometers from Cochrane,
As long as Bennett brewer still
lives within its city limits.
And a $1,500 fine.
- (Scoffs)
- Is that bad?
♪ Yeah, yeah
(relieved exhale)
Woo!
Y, hey, full house.
Yeah, Ella and Charlie
are already in bed.
Nathan Jr. And Alice
are gettin' pretty cozy there.
Anything I should know?
Nope, just that the carlsons
are spending the night.
Actually, hey, uh,
Alice, would you put jayme
down, please?
- Sure.
- Thanks, honey.
I thought you had to stay
at the office late.
I managed to get out early,
so.
- Good night, honey.
- Goodnight, girls.
Alice: Good night.
Hey, can I turn this off?
- Go ahead.
- Um...
Sorry I couldn't take you
to the record signing today.
And I know that this doesn't
make up for it, but...
I hope it's a start.
"Have a funky year,
tuba man?"
I know. I told him
you played the sax, but...
No-no, no,
that's his catchphrase.
This is legendary!
Thank you.
There's something
I wanna tell you.
I think I was so worried
about not living up
To your expectations,
that I did just that.
But I'm here now.
Actually, there...
There's something I-I need
to tell you, too.
I wanted to tell you
for a while...
I don't know why I didn't.
All right, team, we got
our work cut out for us.
New pitches, my office!
I got pastries.
Rosie: (gasps) Kate!
You're here!
Oh, sorry,
do we have a meeting?
Even better. I'd like you
to meet the new sources.
What, for the book?
Uh, how did you...
It's funny how they'll open
up to one of their own.
And they're all willing to go
on record against Goldie's?
We are.
Let's topple this pyramid.
Looks like we got ourselves
a whale.
A vaginal probe?
Uh-huh.
Like, the wand thing?
Uh-huh.
And it felt... Good?
- It felt very good.
- Huh!
An ultrasound
with a happy ending.
Good for you.
I once had an anal fissure
with a happy ending.
- Ohh!
- True story.
And now that I have
your attention,
Let me officially welcome
Sloane,
Maya, and Jenny
to val's pals.
Buckle up.
And open today's session
With a (with a French accent)
Grande announcement!
(Giggles)
(Funky music plays)
Ohhh! (Laughs)
[♪♪♪]
(laughs) Ta-dah!
Val, what the fuck
did you do?
I know, I splurged.
I got us parking vouchers.
Not the fuckin' vouchers,
val, we're talkin' about...
- That ass.
- Is that real?
- It's mesmerizing.
- Oh!
If you mean my dream derriere,
It's as real as they come.
Mel preferred my flat Stanley,
but...
I wanted something a little
more... You know.
- Enormous?
- Hmm.
Yeah, and what of it?
Honestly, I didn't think this
crowd would be so body-neg.
Enhancing our god-given
features is empowering.
So, are we making
announcements?
- Because I'm pregnant!
- What?
- Congratulations.
- Oh my god!
That's not all.
I'm engaged!
- Group: Whoa! Hey!
- Congrats again!
And I want all of you
to be my bridesmaids.
- What?
- Um...
Seriously? Us?
Well, of course, you turkeys!
Who else would I be asking?
Uh, I guess uh,
We all assumed that you maybe...
Already had uh...
More important people
in your life that you...
I do. And they're you.
Lucky ducks.
I'm just gonna say it,
Jenny.
We're not friends,
and that's okay.
Um, weird flex, Maya,
but don't worry.
- You're not invited anymore.
- Jesus.
So, who's excited?
(laughs uncomfortably)
(Giggles)
(Kate groans)
(Weakly) Yay.
(Zippers rasps)
All right, one warm lunch,
comin' up!
Uh, I'm gonna get a ride,
I'll see you after school?
You catchin' a ride
with a special guy?
Shh!
Oh, you don't have to worry
about your dad.
He is down. He's on the right
side of history.
And by the right,
I mean the left.
You know what I mean.
He'd be thrilled.
Or he'll just become
even weirder around me
Than he already is.
You guys just gotta spend
some time together, that's all.
Hey, uh, sport!
(laughs awkwardly)
- So how's it hangin'?
- Oh boy!
- Oh, sorry.
- Nathan.
- Um, hey...
- I'm-I'm good.
- Just...
- Oh yeah.
Uh, so there's this record
signing this afternoon
That I-I wanted to go to.
It's for uh, squoosh rocket.
It's at the yowling cat.
The yowling cat,
that's right by my work.
- Isn't that place kinda seedy?
- No, it's super cool.
I do need an adult to get in,
so can we go?
Oh! I wish I could,
but I can't swing it today.
Uh, but maybe your dad can,
Since it's right by his work.
I'm tied up in a hearing,
I'm really sorry.
- Another time?
- Sure, yeah.
No-no problem.
Maybe when squoosh makes
the rounds another...
30 years from now.
- Uh, I've gotta go.
- Bye.
(Sighs)
That felt like
an opportunity.
Do you want to hand him over
to Cassandra?!
What am I supposed to do,
cancel my hearing?
You know what, you just do
what you gotta do...
Sport!
Just say hi like a normal
person to him.
Lionel: Oh! Anne,
I can't believe you're back
in Cochrane.
Hey, did I mention how much
I appreciate you being here?
I could really use a friendly
face in that courtroom.
Yeah, of course.
This looks like the suit
of an innocent man, right?
Are you trying to go to jail?
Wait, what? What?!
What's wrong with it?
Hey, just checking in,
seeing how you guys are doing.
Did you give your sister
breakfast?
Yeah, I'm not gonna let
jayme starve, mom.
- Now stop calling.
- I'm sorry, it's just...
It's the first time you babysat
her overnight like this,
And I just wanna make sure
that...
That I don't burn down
the house?
Honestly, yes, that's a very
real fear of mine.
Ugh! I just...
You hate me. I got it.
Loud and clear.
Listen, Kate's phone number
is on the kitchen table,
Please just call her
at any time.
I got it.
Goodbye, already!
Don't "goodbye already" me!
Listen, I am calling back
in one hour,
And I want a full rundown
on everything
You and jayme ate and pooped,
Or there will be hell to pay,
so help me god!
- I love you.
- Hmm.
(Phone thuds)
- (Sighs) Sorry about that.
- Oh, that's okay.
I'm just grateful you're able
to see me in your home.
Sure thing.
[♪♪♪]
Listen, what do we have here?
Okay, well, I brought you
all my favourites.
I think I know what all
my favourites are right now.
I think I know too.
(both laugh)
(Clears throat)
Nice of you to get started.
Nice of you to join us.
- Come on down.
- Have a seat.
Oh. Um...
- You...
- Nice and tight.
- Yeah.
- Hmm! So...
What's first, you twinkies?
Well, I hope you brought
your sweet tooth!
Yum! Okay, ooh!
Is that the red velvet?
Oh, honey, red velvet?
Like, what year is it, 2011?
(Both laugh)
Mm! This.
This is the one.
- What is this, mango meringue?
- A man with taste!
That's my favourite, too.
Great minds.
Anyway, what about flowers?
I was thinking flower crowns
for the bridesmaids.
- Not flower crowns! No!
- Fuck crowns!
- No, no, no.
- Okay, look,
Lana del Rey moved on,
and you can, too.
Like, what's next, Mason jars,
And tables made
from barn doors?
- (Both laugh)
- Okay!
I thought this was a wedding
planning appointment,
Not a gang up on Jenny
appointment.
Honey, we're just joking,
all right?
Just relax. It's-it's a joke.
Okay? Here.
Try this mango cake.
Yeah, I am so done
with fruit cakes!
You know what?
You're fired.
- What, is she serious?
- What the hell?
- Hey, honey.
- You can go now. Bye!
Run while you can.
What the hell was that?
Look, I know this whole thing
is just for show,
And we're not like,
together or whatever, but...
That doesn't mean I'm cool
with you flirting
With our wedding planner
in front of me
When I'm carrying
your stupid child.
Can't you just at least
pretend to care?
(Sighs)
(Paper rustles)
What the fuck is this?
I booked us a suite
at the birthing centre
- For the delivery.
- Seriously?
I wanna get this right,
Jenny.
This baby deserves
the best of us.
[♪♪♪]
So, now that the book's
back on,
What's your position on using
Goldie's products?
Oh god.
(phone vibrates)
Hey, Rebecca, how's our
star journalist?
Well, Goldie got
to my sources,
And they're all backing out.
I should've known she'd have
more moves.
Sorry, what do you mean
she got to them?
She's buying them all off!
They're retracting testimonials
left and right.
Any bright ideas this time?
Uh, yeah.
Uh, come down to my office,
And I will put together
a plan for you.
You better,
because there's no book
Without these testimonials
to back it up.
Of course.
(call beeps off) Oh.
(Frustrated groan)
- What's that?
- Nothing.
Rosie?
You are not still at it?!
It's my last shipment,
I swear!
(Box thuds)
Oh!
Besides, what you,
and my mother, and my sister
Don't understand is this...
Fills me, this fills my cup!
- Oh my god.
- (sniffs)
Ohh! And how heavenly
is that lemon-fresh scent?
Take a deep relaxing whiff,
Kate.
Let it transport you.
You have a problem.
[♪♪♪]
Rebecca Anderson,
I'd like to introduce you
To Rosie Phillips,
your new insider source.
This is your plan?
Doesn't she work for you?
She does, which is why I can
speak firsthand
To the damage this little
side-hustle has done.
A side-hustle I happen
to have a real knack for.
Look at her, so addicted.
Stop.
Right, right, sorry.
I'll tell you what I know.
All right, let's hear it.
I'll take what I can get.
Don't let her down, Rose.
Hmm! (Sighs)
♪♪
Paul: Ding dong!
- Hungry?
- Come in.
Um, look, I wanted
to take you out for lunch,
But you seem like
a very busy woman,
So I thought I would bring
lunch to you instead.
Now, you mentioned you've
been craving burritos,
But you didn't tell me what
kind, so I just got them all.
We've got steak, chicken,
Pulled pork, calamari,
or veggie.
Well, that is quite
the selection.
So, what'll it be?
- I'm a steak sorta gal.
- Perfect!
Because I...
Am a pulled-pork fella.
(Wrapper rustles)
- Mmm!
- Mmm!
Mmm!
- You started reading it.
- I read it last night.
- (Taps book)
- So? What'd you think?
Honestly?
A little on the nose,
- Not really my cup of tea.
- Well, uh...
Okay. Fair enough.
So, what is your cup of tea,
then?
Like, what's the book that made
you wanna get into books?
"The raccoon and the rock."
About a raccoon
who loses her rock.
Sounds a little on the nose
for me.
It's been out of print
for years,
But this is the copy
that my dad gave me
After my mom died.
I only realized later on
in life why I connected to it.
And I guess, uh,
I wanted to bring that feeling
to others.
That's beautiful.
Oh! God, you listen
to me emoting.
It's the goddamn hormones.
Yeah, it kinda comes with
the pregnancy territory.
- Ah, can you just...
- You haven't told anyone yet?
No! And I'm not chomping
at the bit to, either.
Why not? I mean...
What do you think it says
about you?
Oh, I don't know,
That I'm feeble, imbalanced,
Unreliable, temperamental,
should I go on?
That's very interesting.
Because I think it says
you're a powerhouse.
Well, that too, obviously.
So what are you really
afraid of?
Oh, fuck!
You're right.
[♪♪♪]
- (nervous tapping)
- Deb A.
Come on, Deb A.!
I hear you.
Because if it's judge Deb T.,
uh, I got nothing.
- Jesus Christ, dude!
- I-I know.
All rise for the honourable...
Judge Deborah alabaster.
- Yes! That's a Deb A.!
- Oh! Thank god!
You might just see the light
of day after all.
Alrighty.
Psst! Annie!
The cutie committee
has a new member.
(Charms jingling)
(Jingling)
[♪♪♪]
Yeah, this isn't gonna work.
I-I appreciate Rosie's
cooperation,
But she's basically a walking
billboard for Goldie's.
Well, exactly,
she drank the kool-aid!
Technically, it was a
delicious window cleaner.
Rosie, that's not helping.
This company cost women
their families,
Their homes, their livelihoods.
Rosie hasn't really lost
anything to Goldie's...
Except her dignity.
- Sorry, no offense.
- Oh, none taken.
Look, she's a small fish.
For this book to hold up,
We're gonna need a whale.
So... Call me when you find
a whale.
(Thwarted exhale)
And I still wake up
in cold sweats
Seeing that grown man's fist
Making contact with my sweet
son's cherub face.
Oh my god.
- Judge Deb A.: You okay, hun?
- I think so.
- Have a tissue.
- Thank you.
- Fuck!
- It's just so crazy!
You're being incredibly
brave.
Thank you.
Are you still coming over
for rosé after?
Okay, that's it, I object!
- Judge Deb A.: Excuse me?!
- No, excuse me.
This is bullshit!
Why even pretend to have
a fair trial,
When clearly you are
a card-carrying member
Of the cutie committee!
She doesn't know
we call it that.
(Bangs gavel) Order!
You're not even trying
to hide your bias!
Anne, stop!
What, are you gonna give him
life in prison next?
Will you please stop?!
This charade
is a fucking joke!
Bailiff, please remove
this woman from my courtroom!
Don't worry,
I'll remove myself.
I'm going! God!
Ridiculous!
Well, Mr. Carlson, you're up.
(Courtroom door creaks open,
then slams)
(Approaching footsteps thud)
Hey, Sloane.
Well, you got us all here,
what's the big news?
Well, everyone, uh...
I cannot believe I'm about
to share this, but...
- Come on.
- Sorry, am I interrupting?
Yes, actually, who are you?
Oh! Nina! Come in.
Sloane, have you met
Nina Harris,
- Our new junior executive?
- So honoured to meet you.
Yeah, we were hoping that
you might show her the ropes.
Yeah, and this one comes
with credentials:
New publisher's award,
fountain pen publisher's award,
- Ah! (Laughs)
- The list goes on.
Anyway, uh, Sloane, what was it
you wanted to tell us?
Just that...
I...
I'm getting an ergonomic chair.
So if anyone's interested,
They're cheaper
if you order them in bulk.
Okay, you could've just
sent us an email,
But sure,
I'll take one of those.
- Yeah, yeah, why not?
- I'd love one too.
Great.
Dale: Uh... Okay!
So you're saying
that you had no intention
Of punching Mr. Brewer?
Uh, yes.
Yes, that is correct.
Well, (small laugh)
Works for me.
- Wait, that's it?
- Yeah.
Uh, your honour, motion
to represent myself?
- Huh?
- You're fired.
Motion granted. The floor
is yours, Mr. Carlson.
Um... Huh!
Okay! Uh...
I wanna tell you all a story.
Um, I want you...
I want you to close your eyes
while I tell it.
Okay? Yeah.
Go ahead, close 'em.
Nice. I want you to...
Picture a young girl walking
to school on a sunny day.
(Deep inhale and exhale)
Suddenly, uh,
a boy walks up to her,
And... He smiles at her.
He charms her.
And then that boy tells her
that the earth is flat,
Global warming is fake,
And the bees...
(sharp inhale)
The bees are doing just fine.
Suddenly, he's affecting
how she talks,
How she dresses.
And then one day,
He scolds her.
Right in front of her father,
The very man whose job it is
To protect her
from predators like him!
You see that girl?
Now imagine
she's your daughter,
And tell me that you wouldn't
want to punch
The daylights out of that punk.
I don't know if I wanna live
in a country
Where you aren't allowed
to punch that kid.
Because I believe in freedom.
Democracy.
Okay, thank you,
I rest my case.
[♪♪♪]
Hey, how have you been
feeling since your last visit?
Honestly? Like crap.
I already feel like
I'm retaining water
In my ankles,
which is bullshit,
Because they took forever
to look normal again after Zoe.
Your pregnancy is high risk,
Jenny.
At least my fiancé
doesn't seem to care.
He sleeps with men,
and they have huge ankles.
But, if anything, it's probably
brought us close together.
I mean, he did get us into
the birthing centre...
Jenny, I'm trying to tell you
That your pregnancy
is high risk.
What? No, it's not.
Why?
The heartbeat isn't as strong
As we would like it to be
at this point,
Which means, the pregnancy
may not be viable.
We'll run further tests,
But right now you're at high
risk for miscarrying.
So I recommend taking it easy,
And waiting before telling
anyone about the pregnancy.
(Voice fades)
Do you understand?
(Knocking)
Mcp: You're back!
- How'd it go?
- What?
The ultrasound.
How's baby doing?
Oh. Baby's...
Good, yeah.
Good. And um...
You're feeling okay?
Never better.
Okay.
Are-are you hungry?
I have a late meeting,
but we can go for a bite after.
I-I, I could eat.
Meet you downstairs at six?
- It's a date.
- Okay.
[♪♪♪]
Man on TV: And I just hold...
(knocking)
Man on TV: A two-year supply
of beauty products,
Courtesy of our sponsor.
(rapid knocking)
(Footsteps thud)
(Knocking, door opens)
Oh good, you're here.
I just had the most frustrating
conversation,
And honestly, I almost got
in a car accident
On my way over to tell you
about it.
Um, I-I don't know
if now's a good time.
But I-I need you now, I...
(shaky exhales)
Is this about money?
Teenagers are so greedy.
(frustrated exhale)
I think you should leave.
Why are you being so hostile?
This isn't like you.
Let-let me in.
No!
(Shuts door)
(lock clicks)
Oh my god!
(Calming exhale)
[♪♪♪]
(keys tap)
(Shaky exhale)
Hey, is it okay
if we come over?
Make yourselves comfortable,
guys.
Those scary movies
hit different
When you're home alone,
don't they?
- Yeah. I guess so.
- Well, don't you worry,
I'm not good with the spooky
stuff, either.
Hey, Nathan Jr, we got company!
- Come on, let's get some snacks.
- (small laugh)
Will the defendant
please rise?
With respect to the charge
of assaulting a minor,
I find the defendant... Guilty.
- Cheryl: Loser!
- Yeah!
Order! Order in the court!
It gives me no great pleasure
doing this,
But, Lionel Carlson,
- I sentence you to... Life.
- What?!
A life at least 500
kilometers from Cochrane,
As long as Bennett brewer still
lives within its city limits.
And a $1,500 fine.
- (Scoffs)
- Is that bad?
♪ Yeah, yeah
(relieved exhale)
Woo!
Y, hey, full house.
Yeah, Ella and Charlie
are already in bed.
Nathan Jr. And Alice
are gettin' pretty cozy there.
Anything I should know?
Nope, just that the carlsons
are spending the night.
Actually, hey, uh,
Alice, would you put jayme
down, please?
- Sure.
- Thanks, honey.
I thought you had to stay
at the office late.
I managed to get out early,
so.
- Good night, honey.
- Goodnight, girls.
Alice: Good night.
Hey, can I turn this off?
- Go ahead.
- Um...
Sorry I couldn't take you
to the record signing today.
And I know that this doesn't
make up for it, but...
I hope it's a start.
"Have a funky year,
tuba man?"
I know. I told him
you played the sax, but...
No-no, no,
that's his catchphrase.
This is legendary!
Thank you.
There's something
I wanna tell you.
I think I was so worried
about not living up
To your expectations,
that I did just that.
But I'm here now.
Actually, there...
There's something I-I need
to tell you, too.
I wanted to tell you
for a while...
I don't know why I didn't.
All right, team, we got
our work cut out for us.
New pitches, my office!
I got pastries.
Rosie: (gasps) Kate!
You're here!
Oh, sorry,
do we have a meeting?
Even better. I'd like you
to meet the new sources.
What, for the book?
Uh, how did you...
It's funny how they'll open
up to one of their own.
And they're all willing to go
on record against Goldie's?
We are.
Let's topple this pyramid.
Looks like we got ourselves
a whale.