Workin' Moms (2017–…): Season 3, Episode 1 - Birth Daze - full transcript
Four-one-one, baby's gonna come.
Ready?
Four-one-one, baby's gonna come.
It's simple.
If your contractions are
four minutes apart,
and the pain lasts for one full minute,
for the duration of one full hour,
then, congratulations! You
are ready to deliver.
Yeah, four-one-one, if you want to spend
eternity in the delivery room.
Take it from me, wait 'til
you're like in a lot of pain,
I'm talking a lot of pain, mhmm.
Then like, give it another three hours.
Yeah, like, three-three-three.
- Or like, a two-five-five.
- One-one-one,
- have your baby and you're done.
- Yeah, there you go.
What my uh, demonstrators,
slash closest, closest
girlfriends are saying...
Is it true your nose swells?
One out of three women, yeah.
Okay, you don't have a license.
Will my nipples go back to normal?
That's a hard no. They're
gonna get longer,
and coarser, yet more sensitive.
Please don't write that down.
Okay, uh, here's a fun fact.
Two out of three women pass
bowels during active labour.
Yeah. That's not the poop
you gotta worry about.
- Oh boy.
- It's not?
No! You're gonna take a
poop a couple days after
you give birth that is gonna break you.
Mhmm.
Just huge, like passing a cinderblock.
If I hadn't hooked mine out,
it'd still be up there.
I'm sorry, "hooked"?
Oh yeah, I had to claw
it out like a canary
trying to get to the heart of a papaya.
Oh no...
Oh don't worry, you'll get
through it in one piece.
Your marriage on the
other hand, not so much.
One of these guys is gonna cheat.
It's just math.
My money's on this guy.
I see you.
Wow, you really scared 'em in there.
Well, it had to be said!
Those women need to know
that it's entirely possible
that their husband
could've been fucking the
nanny for a fucking year!
Taking her wine tasting.
Calling each other their
"north star"! Fuck!
Okay. All right, man, take it easy!
- Fuck! Sorry, I'm sorry.
- Jeez.
Just take my advice.
I'm not going to murder him, Anne.
Fine. Play it safe.
But know this, all it'd
take is a low-key stop
- at the hardware store.
- Here we go.
Purchase an industrial size vat.
- What?!
- Fill it with quicklime.
What? Anne, stop Googling
how to murder someone.
All right.
I love you.
There we go.
Welcome.
You know you don't have to
move out of my home, right?
It's time.
As much as I love sharing
a bathroom with Alice,
I gotta be able to host
my kids and take a dump
without her screaming, "courtesy flush"
- at me through the door.
- That's fair enough.
- Well, we're gonna miss you.
- I'll miss you, too.
Hey, this is pretty nice!
Right? I think I'm gonna
do this dorm room style,
you know, like, a couple
candles, a couple pics,
maybe a sock on the door
to let the people know
I still got it, you know?
Oh, you still gettin' after
it in your condition?
Well, not so much, but
my hormones have me
flickin' my bean like a goddamn demon!
Sorry to intrude.
- I have a delivery here.
- Aw, Charlie!
- I missed your little face!
- Oh here, let me help you.
- Oh my God it's okay.
- She's good.
It's just a cramp, okay?
I brought ice packs
for your back, and...
I'm not sure if you're craving
raspberry tarts again,
- but they're...
- Great, thank you. Bye bye.
Okay, hey! Just one minute, please!
Charlie! Buddy!
Let's go see your room!
Goodnight.
What the fuck is wrong with you?
This place is really starting
to look like a business!
Can you run a business with no clients?
We've got one client.
Now tell me that you've
got a good candidate
for the assistant position.
Well, he's very young,
and has zero experience.
But he's got a hell of a reference.
- From who?
- Richard.
Okay!
Who also happens to be his father.
Okay, got it. Anything else?
Yeah, there's a bunch of
bills that are piling up.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, first we
get an assistant, okay?
Then we'll get some more clients,
and then those bills get paid.
Now let's just hope this
guy's got something
goin' on upstairs.
But out of all the "Fast
and Furious" movies,
I just feel like "Fate of the Furious"
best captures, like, the family.
And that's what I wanna be a part of.
A family, like your company.
Right...
So?
How's it going in here?
You've got a real son here, Richard.
Right. Okay, look.
He's young, eager to
please, give him a shot.
Hmm? You won't regret it.
And if you do, fire his ass.
Dad! He's just kidding. Hah.
No, I am not.
What?
I don't know what that means!
I cannot babysit your
calendar like this.
You're late for your next appointment.
Which is code for picking
up your son at daycare!
Hey, Richard.
Rosie.
- Forrest, let's do this.
- What, really?
Yeah, we'll just see how it goes.
Trial run.
Don't fuck up, huh?
Yes!
Oh boy.
Oh dear God, is that
how we're walking now?
Pregnancy is really not meant
for the public, is it?
I'm sorry.
My water broke, and I'm
wearing an overnight pad.
Your water broke, and you called me?
Yeah, I don't really want to be alone.
Plus, I haven't eaten in a while.
Maybe that's not such a bad thing.
Mom, the doctor said
I've put on an optimal
amount of weight.
Eleanor?
OMG, Barry, hello!
We were just talking about you, Eleanor.
- This is my son, Adam.
- Pleasure.
Kate, you remember Barry,
our financial advisor,
and his single son?
Well, that's true of both of us now.
Oh my. Two young single women,
two young single men,
what are the chances?
- What's happening right now?
- May we join you?
- Actually, we're just...
- Absolutely, please sit.
You're pregnant.
Yeah.
A woman with child is so beautiful.
- Is she?
- The glow, the shape.
- The smell.
- Oh!
Beggars can't be choosers, Kate.
Ah! Ooh. Aah!
Oh, gentlemen, I must apologize.
My daughter's in labour.
- That's amazing.
- Aaaah!
- Aaaaah!
- Squeeze my hand.
No I'm good man, I'm
good. I've just gotta...
keep my eye on the... on the time here.
God, what the hell was
it? Four-four-four?
- Baby's on the floor?
- I don't know.
Do we need to go to the hospital?
Oh shit! Aah!
- Oh, I will drive you there.
- You... no!
Mom, let's go. Let's go.
Oh... oh.
Are you sure I can't
help you to the car?
- Get away from me, bro!
- Okay.
- Super weird. Super weird!
- Come on.
Oh God.
Mom? Mom?
I'm feeling a little... a little scared.
Oh, sweetheart, don't be silly.
- Yeah, okay.
- In time,
you'll lose the weight.
Get out!
Hmph!
It's okay, thanks so much.
Is this Kate's room?
- Great!
- Oh God!
- Kate.
- Oh God!
Anne, dude, I don't' know
what I was thinking.
I can't do this alone!
What am I, the ghost that
haunts the hospital?
I'm here, I'm here, and I am
not leaving your side, okay?
'Cause it's-it's happening a
little more quickly this time.
Yeah, I know. You know,
that's the beauty
- of having a second one.
- Yeah?
Oh yeah, yep.
Feel like you're ready to push?
I mean, no!
Maybe we'll just leave
him in there, you know?
No, no, you don't wanna do that.
- Okay. Okay.
- You got this.
Okay.
- All right, get ready to push.
- Yeah.
You get to meet your baby soon! Yes!
Okay, push, push, push!
Yes, you got it, you got it, you got it!
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!
You got it, you got it,
yeah, yeah, go, go, go!
- Okay, I gotta go.
- Where?
Guys night. Don't wait up for me, okay?
- Where'd you go?
- I went out for a drive.
What the hell are you doing here?
Nathan had a work thing.
Oh jeez! Shit! Kate.
What the hell?
What's her actual name?
Who?
I'm sure her passport
doesn't say "Mean Nanny".
- What are you even talking about?
- I saw you, Nathan.
I saw you with her.
What is her name?
Renya.
Renya?!
Spell it.
Um, R-e-n-y-a.
So like it sounds? Ren-ya.
Stupid. Stupid.
You weren't around.
And you lied to me, Kate!
I thought you might want
to put a baby in me.
- I think we're ready for more.
- Oh!
I had no one to talk to!
Don't go changing who you are on me.
'Cause come on! You weren't
exactly committed to this!
- I'm willing to promise.
- Where were you, Kate?
Since when do you care
about what I want?
Where were you?!
Kate, please, I'm sorry! Please!
You are my porn.
Just tonight.
Get over here!
- Aaaaaah! Oof!
- Yes! That was so good!
- Okay, I think I need Nathan.
- What?
- Please don't make me beg.
- No, hey, it's okay.
Let's just get you through this, okay?
Okay.
Nathan?
Hi, Grandma.
- It doesn't want to!
- Hey! Hey, hey!
Oh Nathan, oh God, Nathan!
- You got this okay?
- Yeah, okay. Okay.
Okay, you're gonna be great. Just focus.
Okay? One, two, three...
push! Push! Come on, you got this! Push!
Push! Push!
That's it, that's it,
that's it, that's it!
That's it, that's it!
- Okay.
- Oh my God.
Oh yeah, where you go-where you going?
Oh! Oh my God!
Oh God. Hi!
This is our daughter.
Hi. Hi.
Oh, hi.
Oh, yeah.
Hi.
Get out.
- Kate.
- Get out.
Hey, it's okay.
It's okay.
It's okay. We're gonna be okay, yeah.
Happy birthday!
Oh my God, it's the baby!
Okay. Okay. Guys.
Yes, yes, yes. Okay.
Happy birthday, Katie.
You've had a challenging year,
you should to celebrate.
Open this in a more intimate setting.
Okay, that's weird. Thank you, mom.
They're ready for you
in the conference room.
Yes, okay.
As much as I appreciate the
concern, I have a meeting.
- Will you watch Ella?
- But I'm wearing silk.
You're gonna be okay. Bye, bubba!
Oh!
- Here you are, sweetie.
- Let's go.
Okay, just don't spit.
There she is!
I hope I haven't been keeping you long.
Are you kidding? The fellas are
going to town on the spread.
It's not often you see a six-foot sub.
And what I assume is some
kind of energy drink?
- Kate, I have a surprise for you.
- Oh!
I didn't think he'd make it,
seeing as he just returned
to work this week, but our
Steve Malk is a fighter.
- Mr. Malk is here?
- You mean, not dead?
No, I...
Listen, when you spend the
better half of a year
staring at breast cancer,
you learn that life
is just too precious not
to cut to the point.
I couldn't agree more. Thrilled
you're here, Mr. Malk.
Let's get started.
Gentlemen, enough with the sandwiches!
Though Stenton Capitol
is a well-respected
insurance company,
optically, your life
insurance products are only
being marketed towards the elite.
And that's a bad thing?
Well, we believe that
by opening your image
to those don't appear to
bring in the highest income,
say... single mothers, teachers,
nurses, will collectively
make you a killing.
There's nothing wrong
with all the people
that you've got there,
Kate, it's just that uh,
- I don't see me.
- Hmm?
I started this business from nothing.
I worked my ass off, and...
I just would like to
believe that during those,
those hungrier days,
if I saw an image of a successful man,
well, that would be
pretty damn inspiring.
Shouldn't that be included?
I am so sorry.
That is my ba-I had a
baby. Two months ago.
And I'm separated, so...
Oh, let me guess. You take the house?
No, he stayed in our home,
and I'm in an apartment.
Oh, how 'bout that.
That's not a story that
you hear every day.
I think that shows
great integrity, Kate.
I told you.
Well, my team and I will
take a pass on the imagery,
and we'll get back to you
by the end of the week.
And right back to business.
Why, you're more man than
a woman, aren't you?
Not sure what to do
with that one, Steve!
Just leave it where it
landed there, Kate!
Come on, gents!
Burt, I like this one.
Oh God.
So, did I follow that correctly?
We will tweak the imagery
to incorporate...
- Rich white dudes?
- Yup.
- How refreshing.
- Yeah...
- Happy birthday, bitch!
- Oh, brother.
We should go out tonight.
I told you, I don't want to celebrate.
Ugh!
Does this lack of celebratory
spirit have anything to do
with it being your first
birthday away from Nathan?
No! Stop it!
Those are your therapizing glasses.
Therapizing? Not a word.
Not that you asked, but my
professional diagnosis?
You've had a one hell of a year.
You are long overdue for some D!
I'm like, 6,000 kegels
away from any kind of D.
Then get squeezin'!
Plus it'll help with the anger.
It is a crucial part of
moving on, trust me.
Oh, I'm so sorry!
I can come back when
you're not plugged in.
It's okay, I can do
both at the same time.
Well, it's just I have
some approvals for you.
Yeah, that's cool.
Thanks.
I did totally hear you.
Fine, thank you.
Thanks.
- That dude has a crush on you.
- What? No!
You still got it.
- Oh? Did you just...
- Kegel.
♪ We live for today we
don't wait for tomorrow
Oh God.
Happy birthday.
It's a photo album. From Charlie.
Uh, I'm not in it, just the two of you.
We made it together. Is that her?
- Could I um...
- She's sleeping.
Maybe I could take them off
your hands for the night,
so you could celebrate your birthday?
God, when did it become
such a mandatory thing,
to like, go have fun on your birthday?
- I'm just trying to help.
- Cut the shit.
You're here to ambush me,
so you can see the baby.
It's been two months.
I'm her Dad, you have to let me
be that, for better or worse.
Her name is Ella.
As in, Eleanor?
You named her after your mother?
Oh my God. I did not mean to...
I heard it's someone's birthday!
Oh...
Goodnight...
Okay, Mom, what did you get me?
What the...
Oh, good grief.
Well, she doesn't know me at all.
Hi. Uh, yeah, it's me.
Um...
What're you-what are
you doing right now?
Hi.
Hey.
Ready?
Four-one-one, baby's gonna come.
It's simple.
If your contractions are
four minutes apart,
and the pain lasts for one full minute,
for the duration of one full hour,
then, congratulations! You
are ready to deliver.
Yeah, four-one-one, if you want to spend
eternity in the delivery room.
Take it from me, wait 'til
you're like in a lot of pain,
I'm talking a lot of pain, mhmm.
Then like, give it another three hours.
Yeah, like, three-three-three.
- Or like, a two-five-five.
- One-one-one,
- have your baby and you're done.
- Yeah, there you go.
What my uh, demonstrators,
slash closest, closest
girlfriends are saying...
Is it true your nose swells?
One out of three women, yeah.
Okay, you don't have a license.
Will my nipples go back to normal?
That's a hard no. They're
gonna get longer,
and coarser, yet more sensitive.
Please don't write that down.
Okay, uh, here's a fun fact.
Two out of three women pass
bowels during active labour.
Yeah. That's not the poop
you gotta worry about.
- Oh boy.
- It's not?
No! You're gonna take a
poop a couple days after
you give birth that is gonna break you.
Mhmm.
Just huge, like passing a cinderblock.
If I hadn't hooked mine out,
it'd still be up there.
I'm sorry, "hooked"?
Oh yeah, I had to claw
it out like a canary
trying to get to the heart of a papaya.
Oh no...
Oh don't worry, you'll get
through it in one piece.
Your marriage on the
other hand, not so much.
One of these guys is gonna cheat.
It's just math.
My money's on this guy.
I see you.
Wow, you really scared 'em in there.
Well, it had to be said!
Those women need to know
that it's entirely possible
that their husband
could've been fucking the
nanny for a fucking year!
Taking her wine tasting.
Calling each other their
"north star"! Fuck!
Okay. All right, man, take it easy!
- Fuck! Sorry, I'm sorry.
- Jeez.
Just take my advice.
I'm not going to murder him, Anne.
Fine. Play it safe.
But know this, all it'd
take is a low-key stop
- at the hardware store.
- Here we go.
Purchase an industrial size vat.
- What?!
- Fill it with quicklime.
What? Anne, stop Googling
how to murder someone.
All right.
I love you.
There we go.
Welcome.
You know you don't have to
move out of my home, right?
It's time.
As much as I love sharing
a bathroom with Alice,
I gotta be able to host
my kids and take a dump
without her screaming, "courtesy flush"
- at me through the door.
- That's fair enough.
- Well, we're gonna miss you.
- I'll miss you, too.
Hey, this is pretty nice!
Right? I think I'm gonna
do this dorm room style,
you know, like, a couple
candles, a couple pics,
maybe a sock on the door
to let the people know
I still got it, you know?
Oh, you still gettin' after
it in your condition?
Well, not so much, but
my hormones have me
flickin' my bean like a goddamn demon!
Sorry to intrude.
- I have a delivery here.
- Aw, Charlie!
- I missed your little face!
- Oh here, let me help you.
- Oh my God it's okay.
- She's good.
It's just a cramp, okay?
I brought ice packs
for your back, and...
I'm not sure if you're craving
raspberry tarts again,
- but they're...
- Great, thank you. Bye bye.
Okay, hey! Just one minute, please!
Charlie! Buddy!
Let's go see your room!
Goodnight.
What the fuck is wrong with you?
This place is really starting
to look like a business!
Can you run a business with no clients?
We've got one client.
Now tell me that you've
got a good candidate
for the assistant position.
Well, he's very young,
and has zero experience.
But he's got a hell of a reference.
- From who?
- Richard.
Okay!
Who also happens to be his father.
Okay, got it. Anything else?
Yeah, there's a bunch of
bills that are piling up.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, first we
get an assistant, okay?
Then we'll get some more clients,
and then those bills get paid.
Now let's just hope this
guy's got something
goin' on upstairs.
But out of all the "Fast
and Furious" movies,
I just feel like "Fate of the Furious"
best captures, like, the family.
And that's what I wanna be a part of.
A family, like your company.
Right...
So?
How's it going in here?
You've got a real son here, Richard.
Right. Okay, look.
He's young, eager to
please, give him a shot.
Hmm? You won't regret it.
And if you do, fire his ass.
Dad! He's just kidding. Hah.
No, I am not.
What?
I don't know what that means!
I cannot babysit your
calendar like this.
You're late for your next appointment.
Which is code for picking
up your son at daycare!
Hey, Richard.
Rosie.
- Forrest, let's do this.
- What, really?
Yeah, we'll just see how it goes.
Trial run.
Don't fuck up, huh?
Yes!
Oh boy.
Oh dear God, is that
how we're walking now?
Pregnancy is really not meant
for the public, is it?
I'm sorry.
My water broke, and I'm
wearing an overnight pad.
Your water broke, and you called me?
Yeah, I don't really want to be alone.
Plus, I haven't eaten in a while.
Maybe that's not such a bad thing.
Mom, the doctor said
I've put on an optimal
amount of weight.
Eleanor?
OMG, Barry, hello!
We were just talking about you, Eleanor.
- This is my son, Adam.
- Pleasure.
Kate, you remember Barry,
our financial advisor,
and his single son?
Well, that's true of both of us now.
Oh my. Two young single women,
two young single men,
what are the chances?
- What's happening right now?
- May we join you?
- Actually, we're just...
- Absolutely, please sit.
You're pregnant.
Yeah.
A woman with child is so beautiful.
- Is she?
- The glow, the shape.
- The smell.
- Oh!
Beggars can't be choosers, Kate.
Ah! Ooh. Aah!
Oh, gentlemen, I must apologize.
My daughter's in labour.
- That's amazing.
- Aaaah!
- Aaaaah!
- Squeeze my hand.
No I'm good man, I'm
good. I've just gotta...
keep my eye on the... on the time here.
God, what the hell was
it? Four-four-four?
- Baby's on the floor?
- I don't know.
Do we need to go to the hospital?
Oh shit! Aah!
- Oh, I will drive you there.
- You... no!
Mom, let's go. Let's go.
Oh... oh.
Are you sure I can't
help you to the car?
- Get away from me, bro!
- Okay.
- Super weird. Super weird!
- Come on.
Oh God.
Mom? Mom?
I'm feeling a little... a little scared.
Oh, sweetheart, don't be silly.
- Yeah, okay.
- In time,
you'll lose the weight.
Get out!
Hmph!
It's okay, thanks so much.
Is this Kate's room?
- Great!
- Oh God!
- Kate.
- Oh God!
Anne, dude, I don't' know
what I was thinking.
I can't do this alone!
What am I, the ghost that
haunts the hospital?
I'm here, I'm here, and I am
not leaving your side, okay?
'Cause it's-it's happening a
little more quickly this time.
Yeah, I know. You know,
that's the beauty
- of having a second one.
- Yeah?
Oh yeah, yep.
Feel like you're ready to push?
I mean, no!
Maybe we'll just leave
him in there, you know?
No, no, you don't wanna do that.
- Okay. Okay.
- You got this.
Okay.
- All right, get ready to push.
- Yeah.
You get to meet your baby soon! Yes!
Okay, push, push, push!
Yes, you got it, you got it, you got it!
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!
You got it, you got it,
yeah, yeah, go, go, go!
- Okay, I gotta go.
- Where?
Guys night. Don't wait up for me, okay?
- Where'd you go?
- I went out for a drive.
What the hell are you doing here?
Nathan had a work thing.
Oh jeez! Shit! Kate.
What the hell?
What's her actual name?
Who?
I'm sure her passport
doesn't say "Mean Nanny".
- What are you even talking about?
- I saw you, Nathan.
I saw you with her.
What is her name?
Renya.
Renya?!
Spell it.
Um, R-e-n-y-a.
So like it sounds? Ren-ya.
Stupid. Stupid.
You weren't around.
And you lied to me, Kate!
I thought you might want
to put a baby in me.
- I think we're ready for more.
- Oh!
I had no one to talk to!
Don't go changing who you are on me.
'Cause come on! You weren't
exactly committed to this!
- I'm willing to promise.
- Where were you, Kate?
Since when do you care
about what I want?
Where were you?!
Kate, please, I'm sorry! Please!
You are my porn.
Just tonight.
Get over here!
- Aaaaaah! Oof!
- Yes! That was so good!
- Okay, I think I need Nathan.
- What?
- Please don't make me beg.
- No, hey, it's okay.
Let's just get you through this, okay?
Okay.
Nathan?
Hi, Grandma.
- It doesn't want to!
- Hey! Hey, hey!
Oh Nathan, oh God, Nathan!
- You got this okay?
- Yeah, okay. Okay.
Okay, you're gonna be great. Just focus.
Okay? One, two, three...
push! Push! Come on, you got this! Push!
Push! Push!
That's it, that's it,
that's it, that's it!
That's it, that's it!
- Okay.
- Oh my God.
Oh yeah, where you go-where you going?
Oh! Oh my God!
Oh God. Hi!
This is our daughter.
Hi. Hi.
Oh, hi.
Oh, yeah.
Hi.
Get out.
- Kate.
- Get out.
Hey, it's okay.
It's okay.
It's okay. We're gonna be okay, yeah.
Happy birthday!
Oh my God, it's the baby!
Okay. Okay. Guys.
Yes, yes, yes. Okay.
Happy birthday, Katie.
You've had a challenging year,
you should to celebrate.
Open this in a more intimate setting.
Okay, that's weird. Thank you, mom.
They're ready for you
in the conference room.
Yes, okay.
As much as I appreciate the
concern, I have a meeting.
- Will you watch Ella?
- But I'm wearing silk.
You're gonna be okay. Bye, bubba!
Oh!
- Here you are, sweetie.
- Let's go.
Okay, just don't spit.
There she is!
I hope I haven't been keeping you long.
Are you kidding? The fellas are
going to town on the spread.
It's not often you see a six-foot sub.
And what I assume is some
kind of energy drink?
- Kate, I have a surprise for you.
- Oh!
I didn't think he'd make it,
seeing as he just returned
to work this week, but our
Steve Malk is a fighter.
- Mr. Malk is here?
- You mean, not dead?
No, I...
Listen, when you spend the
better half of a year
staring at breast cancer,
you learn that life
is just too precious not
to cut to the point.
I couldn't agree more. Thrilled
you're here, Mr. Malk.
Let's get started.
Gentlemen, enough with the sandwiches!
Though Stenton Capitol
is a well-respected
insurance company,
optically, your life
insurance products are only
being marketed towards the elite.
And that's a bad thing?
Well, we believe that
by opening your image
to those don't appear to
bring in the highest income,
say... single mothers, teachers,
nurses, will collectively
make you a killing.
There's nothing wrong
with all the people
that you've got there,
Kate, it's just that uh,
- I don't see me.
- Hmm?
I started this business from nothing.
I worked my ass off, and...
I just would like to
believe that during those,
those hungrier days,
if I saw an image of a successful man,
well, that would be
pretty damn inspiring.
Shouldn't that be included?
I am so sorry.
That is my ba-I had a
baby. Two months ago.
And I'm separated, so...
Oh, let me guess. You take the house?
No, he stayed in our home,
and I'm in an apartment.
Oh, how 'bout that.
That's not a story that
you hear every day.
I think that shows
great integrity, Kate.
I told you.
Well, my team and I will
take a pass on the imagery,
and we'll get back to you
by the end of the week.
And right back to business.
Why, you're more man than
a woman, aren't you?
Not sure what to do
with that one, Steve!
Just leave it where it
landed there, Kate!
Come on, gents!
Burt, I like this one.
Oh God.
So, did I follow that correctly?
We will tweak the imagery
to incorporate...
- Rich white dudes?
- Yup.
- How refreshing.
- Yeah...
- Happy birthday, bitch!
- Oh, brother.
We should go out tonight.
I told you, I don't want to celebrate.
Ugh!
Does this lack of celebratory
spirit have anything to do
with it being your first
birthday away from Nathan?
No! Stop it!
Those are your therapizing glasses.
Therapizing? Not a word.
Not that you asked, but my
professional diagnosis?
You've had a one hell of a year.
You are long overdue for some D!
I'm like, 6,000 kegels
away from any kind of D.
Then get squeezin'!
Plus it'll help with the anger.
It is a crucial part of
moving on, trust me.
Oh, I'm so sorry!
I can come back when
you're not plugged in.
It's okay, I can do
both at the same time.
Well, it's just I have
some approvals for you.
Yeah, that's cool.
Thanks.
I did totally hear you.
Fine, thank you.
Thanks.
- That dude has a crush on you.
- What? No!
You still got it.
- Oh? Did you just...
- Kegel.
♪ We live for today we
don't wait for tomorrow
Oh God.
Happy birthday.
It's a photo album. From Charlie.
Uh, I'm not in it, just the two of you.
We made it together. Is that her?
- Could I um...
- She's sleeping.
Maybe I could take them off
your hands for the night,
so you could celebrate your birthday?
God, when did it become
such a mandatory thing,
to like, go have fun on your birthday?
- I'm just trying to help.
- Cut the shit.
You're here to ambush me,
so you can see the baby.
It's been two months.
I'm her Dad, you have to let me
be that, for better or worse.
Her name is Ella.
As in, Eleanor?
You named her after your mother?
Oh my God. I did not mean to...
I heard it's someone's birthday!
Oh...
Goodnight...
Okay, Mom, what did you get me?
What the...
Oh, good grief.
Well, she doesn't know me at all.
Hi. Uh, yeah, it's me.
Um...
What're you-what are
you doing right now?
Hi.
Hey.