Wonder Woman (1975–1979): Season 3, Episode 4 - The Fine Art of Crime - full transcript
Wonder Woman foils a ring of art thieves who use realistic-looking statues who are actually people in suspended animation to rob museums.
(Henry)
'Good afternoon,
ladies and gentlemen.'
'Now, I do want
to thank all of you'
for attending this preview
of my upcoming show.
Actually, I do prefer
to call it a reception.
Because
as you can see..
...there are
some people
who have
just arrived
and I do want you
to meet them. Hmm.
Oh, n-now,
it's quite possible
that you have met
some of them before
at some time
or another because..
...they come
from all walks of life.
All marches of time.
They are those
members of humanity
and perhaps whom you have
always wished to stare
'or examine,
or scrutinize'
'in an attempt to
experience'
'what it's like
to live their life.'
You won't be sorry
you came with me.
Even if it did take
six phone calls.
Seven.
Wait till you see
this guy's work.
You see, I'm doing a term paper
on, uh, Henry Robert's statues.
So far, I've just
seen pictures of them
but, uh, now I get
to see them up close.
They're so realistic,
they will blow your socks off.
...and may I suggest
here we stand.
Gentlemen.
[guests exclaiming]
[indistinct chatter]
(guest #1)
Come on, come on.
(guest #2)
That looks so real.
Ah, look at the detail.
The hair, the fingernails,
the wrinkles.
Yet these are statues, Diana.
Can you believe it?
He is a genius.
He's a genius.
[gasps]
Oh, no.
- I'm sorry.
- Oh, no. It's quite alright.
No harm done.
No harm done.
[grunts]
Not even a dent.
Mr. Roberts, I've got to know
how you make these statues.
But I am afraid, I have
got to keep that a secret.
Oh, but I'm doing a term
paper on your statues.
Harold, Harold, I, uh..
I don't think that's
going to impress him.
[intense music]
Bingo.
[theme music]
♪ Wonder Woman ♪
♪ Wonder Woman ♪
♪ Wonder Woman ♪
♪ Wonder Woman ♪
♪ Wonder Woman ♪♪
[car lock clanking]
Of course, it's because
they are so lifelike
that critics
put them down.
Art seeks to interpret life,
not merely to imitate it.
Harold, I have
really enjoyed the art lecture
but I've
got to go.
Oh, surely, you're not
going to leave now
when we finally have
a chance to talk, miss, um..
Prince, Diana Prince.
And I really do have to go.
I found your work
so intriguing
that I'm 15 minutes
late already.
Oh, no,
you stay and talk.
I'll get the car
and bring it around.
Butter him up. Try to make
him tell you his technique.
Uh, Harold.
I drove.
Car's in the shop.
Dear, tell me, um..
...is Senator Farnum's
son your usual escort?
There are many words
I could use to describe Harold.
"Usual" is by
no means one of them.
Excuse me, but I know for
a fact that this isn't your car.
Well, uh...then one
of us made a mistake.
- You.
- Alright.
Hey, look, look.
Start marching.
Come on.
Go to the left, go.
Whatever you plan
to do with me
you're not gonna
get away with it.
I know Diana Prince.
She isn't going to like
what you did to her car..
...whatever you plan
to do to me.
You hear me?
You hear me?
Oh, Harold,
you chump!
(Trevor)
'You mean some guy pulled
a gun on Harold Farnum'
and left a poem in your car?
"One of several
missing treasures
"number nine,
as of today
'"find the method
to this madness'
'for I'm soon
to steal away."'
(Trevor)
Real catchy.
Has IRAC taken a look at this?
[sighs]
Yeah, he scanned it
for fingerprints
and tried to trace
those letters, nothing.
Well, one thing we know for sure
is that whoever left this
in your car has been
stealing art objects
and wants to brag
about it. Um..
What is this glass bowl?
Have you checked it out?
It's a famous
Hollenbeck crystal.
It was stolen about,
um, two weeks ago
from a private collector
in Alexandria.
But IRAC did come up
with a list of names.
People who might know
where it is.
- Ah, a list of fences.
- Mm-hmm.
He says the most
likely candidate is, uh
one Shubert Goring
down on St. Paul.
I'll give him your
regards if the charade
that I'm gonna play works.
'Hey, now,
wait a minute, Diana.'
We could let the police
handle this, you know.
Yes, but we were
the ones that were tipped off
to, uh,
these robberies.
Not the police,
not the FBI, but us.
[exhales sharply]
That's exactly
what worries me.
[sighs]
Well, don't let
it worry you.
I can
take care of myself.
[grunts]
This looks
like a garage sale.
Hey, Harv,
how are you?
Alright,
looking good.
Use a three iron,
better.
Hello,
how are you?
Don't ask,
don't bother, fellows.
I can
manage myself.
Well, Diana Prince
got her message.
No thanks
to that Farnum kid.
(Henry)
'He ID'd you?'
[chuckles]
No big deal.
Well, maybe
it's a good thing
that you are going to
be on field assignment
as of
this afternoon.
Usual bonus?
- Fifteen thousand.
- Oh!
What am I
this time?
You are a disgruntled
house painter.
[chuckling]
What about
the NIM Unit?
Mm-hmm.
It is built into
these glasses, here, see?
Ah.
This should work.
Hmm.
Hmm, very nice.
Study this.
(Henry)
'Fifteen thousand.'
Somebody's out front.
They're asking about
the Hollenbeck bowl.
- Police?
- No, some lady.
Yes, but..
[sighs]
Incredible, how lifelike
she is, isn't it?
Well, I'm not
really into statues..
...Mr. Goring.
I'm into crystal.
As in..
...Hollenbeck.
My employer is, uh,
ready to pay you..
...eighty-five
thousand dollars
to take it off your hands.
His name is Bob...
Bertolucci.
Mr. Bertolucci's fondness
for fine art is well known.
What is not well known is that
he went into hiding in Brazil
'five months ago.'
Well, you should see
his phone bills.
I have.
Let me see
the crystal, Mr. Goring
or are you going to
tell me that, uh..
...you don't have it?
[sighs]
I'll see what I can do.
Excuse me.
There's something
funny about that girl.
I agree.
Well, then why are you
getting the bowl out?
Why not?
After all, the poor girl
is going to have
such a terrible accident
on her way home.
[door opens]
The crystal!
It's been stolen!
What do you mean,
stolen?
From you?
Y-you're a fence.
What is the world
coming to?
[instrumental music]
[thuds]
Up!
[elevator dings]
Wait, she's coming down.
Diana Prince
is making a phone call
to the police, I think.
[engine revving]
[tires screeching]
- Come on, man.
- I'm trying!
Go! Come on!
[tires screeching]
If you insist.
[car crashing]
You, uh..
...know what this means,
don't you?
You're gonna have to walk
to the police station.
[serene music]
Surprise!
Happy birthday,
my sweet.
Tad!
Oh, Taddy.
An original
Henry Roberts statue!
Oh, I've wanted one
ever so long!
I commissioned
Henry Roberts personally.
I gave him
exact specifications.
[clears throat]
Doesn't it look
a bit, uh...familiar?
- 'Why, it's Mr. Bancroft!'
- 'Right!'
That's just how he looked
when I made him
do the living room over
for the fourth time.
[laughing]
He never did get
the color right.
Oh...don't
you like it?
Oh, I adore it,
Taddy.
This will be a birthday
I shall never forget.
Mm.
(Trevor)
Okay, IRAC, is this
the list you promised me?
(IRAC)
Affirmative,
it describes ten art objects
including the bowl,
all of which were stolen
under suspiciously
similar circumstances.
Hmm, in each case,
there are no windows broken
no locks destroyed, no..
...no sign of
forcible entry at all.
(IRAC)
Each case would
indicate an inside job.
Yeah. Hmm?
IRAC, have you been watching
gangster movies again?
Of course not.
Only "Kojak"reruns.
Oh.
It looks like
the same MO was used to steal
a painting of a lion
worth $90,000
a statue of a goat
worth 75 grand, uh..
a modern art piece,
another sculpture.
Uh-oh,
here's another one.
(IRAC)
Affirmative,
it is advisable
that you investigate
the tenth theft
that of the Ram medallion
which occurred last night.
IRAC, you took the words
right out of my mouth.
Now, here's another word
for you.
Bye.
[IRAC blows raspberry]
Afternoon,
Mr. Roberts.
I still have no intention
of telling you
how I make my statues.
You don't have to, I figured out
the material you use.
- I don't care.
- At least tell me if I'm close.
What is wrong with you?
You seem to
speak English but you
do not seem to understand it.
- Hey, wait!
- I will not tell you.
- Hey!
- No.
Hold on a second.
Hey! I'm doing a term paper
on your statues!
[horn honking]
What a pain in the..
Now, now. Henry, Henry.
Mr. Farnum's persistence
is not to be discouraged.
Had he not insisted that
Diana Prince accompany him
to your opening, we wouldn't
be running ahead of schedule.
Do you know
how many telephone calls
I ignored from him yesterday?
Ten. Ten!
I believe his record is 14.
Oh! Huh.
I take it you've acquired
the Ram medallion.
How much do we fence it for?
It's worth 100,000,
so start at 75.
Go no less than 60.
Epperly will take care of it.
Three more days, Henry.
And then no art piece we acquire
will be anything
less...than priceless.
Hmm.
[chuckles]
[birds chirping]
[puffing]
[sighs]
My birthday.
Of all the days
some dreadful person
'could have picked
to ruin my life.'
Now,
we paid $7428
to install an alarm system
in here and we heard
absolutely nothing
last night.
[sighs]
I never thought
I'd hear myself badmouth
the free
enterprise system but..
[laughs]
...it does give
you pause, doesn't it?
Well, what does
really give me pause
is that out of a whole room
of expensive objects
the Ram medallion was
the only thing that was stolen.
- It was your Cousin Marvin!
- Oh!
He stole it.
He always had his eye
on that medallion.
Now, now, pumpkin.
Please forgive her,
she's very upset.
- Yesterday was her birthday!
- Her birthday. Yes, I know.
[telephone ringing]
Hello?
Well, yes,
I suppose..
It's for you.
Oh! Thank you.
Excuse me.
Huh. You'd think we were
running an answering service.
- Trevor.
- 'Steve.'
- Oh, hi, Diana.
- Got anything?
'What I've got
are no fingerprints'
no broken locks or windows
and no $100,000 medallion.
How about you?
'Well, um, you know those two
men Wonder Woman brought in?'
- 'Goring's men?'
- 'Yeah!'
'One of them made
a deal with the police'
'fingered a man
that he's pretty sure'
'is gonna fence
the stolen art objects.'
- 'Oh, yeah?'
- Yeah.
His name is Carmichael Goodman
and he runs
an art supply store
down on Gaylord.
Well, could be our thief.
We'll try to get the medallion
to Goodman today.
- Better keep an eye on him.
- 'Will do.'
Oh, Diana, by the way, did
you know that Harold Farnum
tried to call you
eight times this morning?
That's nothing,
his, uh, record is 14.
[chuckles]
I believe it.
I'll talk to you later, Steve.
'Alright, bye.'
Well, Mr. Goodman.
You are about
to grow another shadow.
[intense music]
[tires screeching]
[car horn honks]
[instrumental music]
Looking for Mr. Goodman?
Hold it!
Stay put, Mr. Goodman.
I'm in trouble. Give me
five seconds, then freeze me.
[instrumental music]
[instrumental music]
Colonel. Colonel Trevor.
Harold Farnum,
we met once last year.
Oh! Yes, yes.
Uh, how did you get up here?
Oh, they gave me
clearance downstairs.
I told them I'm doing
a little business for my father.
- I see. Well, Diana isn't here.
- Oh, I know, I know.
I've been trying to reach her
since 8:00 this morning.
Oh, why don't you leave
a note for her downstairs?
I came about something else.
Look at this, colonel.
Romulus and Remus,the two
Roberts statues commissioned
by the Italian government?
Well, I don't see what
this has to do with the IADC.
Oh, but that's not the point.
You see, I'm doing a term paper
on Henry Roberts' statues.
Try the library.
No, I'm trying to find out
exactly what they're made of.
Then ask Henry Roberts.
I have, believe me.
You see, I wanna take
all the information I have
like the picture
of the twins here, okay?
I got the picture
of the fishermen. Hmm?
This is the lady reading a book.
Have you seen any of these?
- Uh, yes, yes, I've seen them.
- Okay.
I wanna take all
the information I've gathered
feed it into your computer,
and see if he can come up
with what they're made of.
You wanna use the computer?
- Yeah.
- That's impossible.
But Diana said that IRAC could
figure it out in no time.
[zapping]
[gasping]
Harold, get off my back.
(Harold)
What is that?
That's our roving
computer module.
Excuse me.
[beeping]
- Thanks, Rover.
- 'Don't mention it.'
Computer module?
Hold on a second.
'Uh, Rover.'
Something else?
Rover, this is Harold Farnum.
Senator Farnum's son.
'I've a feeling we'll be seeing
a lot of him around here.'
I'd like to have you
commit his voice pattern
into your memory circuits.
Say something, Harold.
Hi, Rover, uh...what do you say?
What do you say?
- What did he say?
- No telling.
Now, Harold, getting back
to the IRAC computer..
...I'm afraid IADC policy
strictly forbids it.
But I know all about computers.
I took a course last semester.
Key punch, you name it.
I know it all.
Yeah, Harold,
that's not the point.
The point is that
it costs approximately
one hundred dollars per minute
for even me to use it.
Now, I couldn't possibly justify
you using it to
research a term paper.
Now, could I?
I guess not.
Well, thanks, Colonel Trevor.
Harold, I-I'm sorry.
Listen, I'll tell Diana
that you were in to see her.
She'll be delighted.
Oh!
Thanks.
Delighted she missed you.
Phew.
- Beep beep.
- Rover!
[Rover beeping]
This is Harold Farnum.
- I know.
- Take me to the IRAC computer.
- Got it?
- The IRAC computer?
Yes, take me
to the IRAC computer.
Okay, follow me.
- The computer's in here?
- That's right.
Thanks, Rover.
I'll return the favor some day.
Don't mention it.
[clicks]
[sighs]
[Rover laughing]
- 'Beep beep.'
- Mm-hmm.
Well, I guess there's only
one thing left for me to do.
[intense music]
[sighs]
Sorry to take my problems
out on you, buddy.
'But if I don't get
an A on that term paper'
'I'll never pledge Pi Chi Psi.'
Figure the only way
to get an A is to find out
exactly how you guys
are put together.
'And since nobody will tell me'
I'll have to do
my own little analysis.
I wonder what kind of surgery
Marcus Welby would call this?
I didn't, I was just,
how, how did you do?
I'll just be leaving
if it's alright.
[crashes]
Come on.
'Come on.'
- Nothing. Another dead end.
- Hmm.
All Carmichael Goodman
could tell Wonder Woman
was that he was gonna try
to fence the medallion
for a man named Ed Epperly.
The man who got away?
I had him checked
out with the police..
...and came up
with a big, fat zero.
[exhales]
So, here we are
back at square one.
Correction.
Here you are back at square one.
Me, I'm going home.
Somehow, a nice, quiet
boring evening
in front of the TV
sounds awfully good right now.
[chuckles]
Yeah. I know the feeling.
- Goodnight.
- Goodnight.
[instrumental music]
[music continues]
[buzzing]
Hmm.
[clicking]
[buzzing]
[sighs]
[dramatic music]
[music continues]
[rumbles]
[buzzing]
[instrumental music]
[whispers]
Now.
[alarm blaring]
[machine buzzing]
[rattling]
[Rover beeps]
Good morning, Steve Trevor.
[sighs]
The lab boys
are gonna have to do
something about
your sneak attacks.
Sorry about that.
You got my coffee?
Uh-oh. Forgot the coffee.
Well, what do you have?
From IRAC, I take it.
[sighs]
"The IRAC computer must
speak with Steve Trevor."
Well, you tell your boss
I'll be in right after
I finish a few things here.
Now! He wants to see you now.
Well, go on, tell him.
[Rover beeping]
I'll just bet
IRAC programmed you not to move
unless I came with you.
You guessed it.
Hmm.
Okay, okay.
I'm gonna have a real long
talk with those lab boys.
[keys clanking]
Okay, IRAC,
what do you got?
(IRAC)
Good morning,
Steve Trevor.
Look, IRAC,
for some reason I haven't
had my coffee this morning,
so let's dispense
with the pleasantries.
Get down to business.
A matter of great importance
has been called to the attention
of the IRAC computer by POLISY.
By who?
The Police Intelligence System.
Its computer has recorded
another art theft.
Where?
'A solid gold statue'
worth $125,000
was stolen last night
from the Putney museum.
(Trevor)
Same MO as
the other thefts, I take it?
No broken windows,
no signs of forced entry.
Must be an inside job.
Have you been watching
gangster movies
'again, Steve Trevor?'
Very funny.
I better get Diana
over there right away.
You took the words
right out of my mouth.
You don't have a mouth.
Goodbye.
(Rover)
Don't go
away mad.
And as for you,
coffee, cream
no sugar,
five minutes.
And a half of grapefruit.
[machine buzzing]
[whirring]
What did you do to me?
Suspended your animation,
Mr. Farnum.
(Moreaux)
Electronically
and most effectively.
See, all of Henry's
so-called statues are
as you were about to discover,
flesh-and-blood individuals..
'...delicately frozen
by a minute stream of electrons'
controlled by
a neuro-impulse modulator
developed by that brilliant
neuro-physiologist
'Robert Henderson.'
Uh, presently known to his
friends as Henry Roberts.
Yeah? Who are you?
Lloyd Moreaux,
patron of the arts
and soon to be much more.
Yeah, well, look,
my father's a senator.
(Moreaux)
'Yes, I've met him.
Fine fellow.'
Well, I've got other
connections too.
Mess with me,
you mess with the IADC.
That is precisely
what I was counting on.
Diana Prince has even
bigger connections.
When she figures out what you..
- Huh?
- Never you mind, Mr. Farnum.
Never you mind.
That's just what I was
hoping to hear, Henry.
[machine buzzing]
Let's make sure that Miss Prince
does indeed
figure it out, shall we?
I trust you know
how to get to the IADC?
Yes, sir.
Put him away.
[instrumental music]
[alarm blaring]
"Your time runs out at midnight.
"I'm surprised at you,
Miss Prince.
"If you don't break
the cycle soon..
...you'll never have
the chance."
[intense music]
(Trevor)
'The total value
of the stolen artworks'
'is more than $2 million.'
And, if Wonder Woman hadn't
recovered that medallion
our thief would be well on his
way to making it $3 million.
Yeah, and whoever he is, he's
sure eager we don't forget it.
You know, both of his riddles
seem to indicate
that he's stealing these,
uh, artworks
in some kind of a pattern.
Yeah, well, whatever the pattern
is, it's about to end.
And that's about all
we've been able to figure out
which is why I have no choice
but to consult
Mr. Personality in here.
- Care to join me?
- Oh, no, thanks.
I have no desire to make
a bad day even worse.
Coward.
[whirring]
[beeping]
(IRAC)
Circuits C-5 through
D-7 are overheating.
Oh, come on, Ira.
We've not been at it that long.
We have been at it
for two hours, Diana Prince.
I need a lube job.
Okay, okay.
We'll go on to something else.
Uh,
what about the second riddle?
Uh, why would the thief
want to emphasize
the word "Midnight?"
Perhaps, he was referring
to 12 o'clock.
Twelve.
He's stolen 11 objects.
I'll bet he means the pattern
ends with the 12th.
A logical conclusion.
So, now, what..
...pattern is composed
of 12 elements?
The word,"Chance"
could be significant.
"Chance."
Uh, let's see.
He's stolen
a still-life of scales
a jade scorpion
a mosaic entitled Centaur..
...Libra, Scorpio
and Sagittarius.
- That's it.
- All are symbols of the zodiac.
That's right and if the last
thing he stole was a bull..
Next in sequence would be twins
the symbol for Gemini.
Twins.
Romulus and Remus.
Those Henry Roberts
statues that were supposed
to be sent to Rome next month?
Ten to one, they are to be
the thief's grand finale.
Thank you, IRAC, I am off..
...to catch a thief.
(IRAC)
A word of caution,
Diana Prince.
The thief obviously
wanted the IADC
to reach this conclusion.
'His or her reasons
are still unknown.'
Well, I'm aware of that, IRAC.
That's why I intend
to go as, um..
...and be very careful. Mwah.
Bye.
Even Wonder Woman cannot be
too careful, Diana Prince.
[instrumental music]
[music continues]
[music continues]
[dramatic music]
Okay. What's this all about?
(Moreaux)
'It's about your demise,
Wonder Woman.'
Your carefully planned,
eagerly anticipated demise.
Welcome to my museum.
So, you lured me here purposely.
It was all a plan.
The art thefts, the poems.
All were part of
an intricate choreography.
See, we knew that
if we involved the IADC
'you would ultimately
be involved.'
Diana Prince warned me that
there was more to all of this
than, uh...met the eye.
And which is why,
upon solving my riddles
she sent you
here rather than
coming herself
with the police. Tch.
'How boringly
predictable of her.'
Well, speaking of boring,
why I am here?
You are about to become
my latest work of art.
(Moreaux)
'You see, several people
know that my mentor here'
plans to open his Putney exhibit
by unveiling a statue
of Wonder Woman.
I shall be there
for the unveiling.
'As will you, Wonder Woman.'
This will produce
an electrical signal
which will place you in a state
of suspended animation..
[whispers]
...forever.
Um, no thank you. I have
two of my own just like it.
[instrumental music]
[grunts]
[grunts]
[music continues]
After I destroy this,
you're gonna tell me
who you are...and where you are.
Wait, Wonder Woman.
Harold?
(Moreaux)
'Mr. Farnum is unable'
to answer.
In fact, right now, Mr. Farnum
is unable to do
much of anything.
Let him go.
After the NIM Unit
is placed on your wrist.
- Right now.
- Right now..
I can put an end to all of
Mr. Farnum's vital functions.
'Would you like that,
Wonder Woman?'
- You win.
- I won the day I planned this.
(Moreaux)
'The rest was simply
a matter of time.'
Now, let's see,
hands on your hips, I think.
'Yes, that's it.'
Well, now, smile.
'Smile the smile you would
like to wear through eternity'
because wear it through
eternity you shall.
[electronic buzzing]
(Moreaux)
'Henry, say goodbye to
the one person in the world'
'who could have stood between
us and everything in the world'
'worth stealing.'
Yes, they do take
rather a long time
but, I think
it's worth it, don't you?
Oh, uh, would you excuse me?
Uh, ladies and gentlemen.
I, uh, want to say
that I am deeply honored
that so many of you
have chosen to attend
this formal opening
of my new show.
And so, to honor you
my latest, and hopefully,
my best creation.
Uh, if you, please.
[murmuring]
(Moreaux)
Uh, ladies and gentlemen.
Please, may I have
your attention?
Now, as you know, I have
supported Henry's work
for three years now.
'Helped him monetarily
and spiritually as he..'
...uh, struggled to
perfect his technique.
But whatever debt he may
have incurred is now forgotten.
For I, through him
have created a masterpiece.
His statue captures
the very heart and soul
of the great lady it depicts
'as Wonder Woman herself
would have to admit, hmm?'
[instrumental music]
[grunts]
Reel him in.
[rattling]
Why, it's a familiar voice
you have, Mr. Moreaux.
You tricked me.
Well, I had to find out
who you were somehow.
Well, I was sure the modulator
would work even on you.
It may very well have worked
if I hadn't switched it
for one of my own bracelets.
Oh! That wasn't part
of the choreography.
[sighs]
Neither was your
returning Harold Farnum
and those other
statues to normal.
But that's precisely
what you're about to do.
Shall we?
[instrumental music]
(Harold)
'So Moreaux figured out
how to combine'
'Roberts' knowledge
of electronics'
with his own knowledge of art
so they can make a killing.
Oops! Bad choice of words.
[chuckles]
Well, unfortunately,
you stumbled
on to their plan
to remove Wonder Woman.
Hey, you know, one good thing
about what those guys did to me
was, uh, it gave me
a lot of time to think
which I did.
Mostly about us.
Us?
- What are you doing tomorrow?
- As in night?
There's a party at this
fraternity I'm gonna pledge
near the college..
What?
My term paper.
I-I don't have a topic anymore.
- It's due in three days!
- Oh, gosh!
Oh, uh, Diana,
I'm gonna have to go work
on that paper tomorrow night.
Hey, listen, I understand.
Um, uh, but I'll make it up
to you. I will, I promise.
Oh. No hurry, Harold.
[chuckles]
No hurry.
[theme music]
♪ Wonder Woman ♪
♪ Wonder Woman ♪
♪ Wonder Woman ♪♪
'Good afternoon,
ladies and gentlemen.'
'Now, I do want
to thank all of you'
for attending this preview
of my upcoming show.
Actually, I do prefer
to call it a reception.
Because
as you can see..
...there are
some people
who have
just arrived
and I do want you
to meet them. Hmm.
Oh, n-now,
it's quite possible
that you have met
some of them before
at some time
or another because..
...they come
from all walks of life.
All marches of time.
They are those
members of humanity
and perhaps whom you have
always wished to stare
'or examine,
or scrutinize'
'in an attempt to
experience'
'what it's like
to live their life.'
You won't be sorry
you came with me.
Even if it did take
six phone calls.
Seven.
Wait till you see
this guy's work.
You see, I'm doing a term paper
on, uh, Henry Robert's statues.
So far, I've just
seen pictures of them
but, uh, now I get
to see them up close.
They're so realistic,
they will blow your socks off.
...and may I suggest
here we stand.
Gentlemen.
[guests exclaiming]
[indistinct chatter]
(guest #1)
Come on, come on.
(guest #2)
That looks so real.
Ah, look at the detail.
The hair, the fingernails,
the wrinkles.
Yet these are statues, Diana.
Can you believe it?
He is a genius.
He's a genius.
[gasps]
Oh, no.
- I'm sorry.
- Oh, no. It's quite alright.
No harm done.
No harm done.
[grunts]
Not even a dent.
Mr. Roberts, I've got to know
how you make these statues.
But I am afraid, I have
got to keep that a secret.
Oh, but I'm doing a term
paper on your statues.
Harold, Harold, I, uh..
I don't think that's
going to impress him.
[intense music]
Bingo.
[theme music]
♪ Wonder Woman ♪
♪ Wonder Woman ♪
♪ Wonder Woman ♪
♪ Wonder Woman ♪
♪ Wonder Woman ♪♪
[car lock clanking]
Of course, it's because
they are so lifelike
that critics
put them down.
Art seeks to interpret life,
not merely to imitate it.
Harold, I have
really enjoyed the art lecture
but I've
got to go.
Oh, surely, you're not
going to leave now
when we finally have
a chance to talk, miss, um..
Prince, Diana Prince.
And I really do have to go.
I found your work
so intriguing
that I'm 15 minutes
late already.
Oh, no,
you stay and talk.
I'll get the car
and bring it around.
Butter him up. Try to make
him tell you his technique.
Uh, Harold.
I drove.
Car's in the shop.
Dear, tell me, um..
...is Senator Farnum's
son your usual escort?
There are many words
I could use to describe Harold.
"Usual" is by
no means one of them.
Excuse me, but I know for
a fact that this isn't your car.
Well, uh...then one
of us made a mistake.
- You.
- Alright.
Hey, look, look.
Start marching.
Come on.
Go to the left, go.
Whatever you plan
to do with me
you're not gonna
get away with it.
I know Diana Prince.
She isn't going to like
what you did to her car..
...whatever you plan
to do to me.
You hear me?
You hear me?
Oh, Harold,
you chump!
(Trevor)
'You mean some guy pulled
a gun on Harold Farnum'
and left a poem in your car?
"One of several
missing treasures
"number nine,
as of today
'"find the method
to this madness'
'for I'm soon
to steal away."'
(Trevor)
Real catchy.
Has IRAC taken a look at this?
[sighs]
Yeah, he scanned it
for fingerprints
and tried to trace
those letters, nothing.
Well, one thing we know for sure
is that whoever left this
in your car has been
stealing art objects
and wants to brag
about it. Um..
What is this glass bowl?
Have you checked it out?
It's a famous
Hollenbeck crystal.
It was stolen about,
um, two weeks ago
from a private collector
in Alexandria.
But IRAC did come up
with a list of names.
People who might know
where it is.
- Ah, a list of fences.
- Mm-hmm.
He says the most
likely candidate is, uh
one Shubert Goring
down on St. Paul.
I'll give him your
regards if the charade
that I'm gonna play works.
'Hey, now,
wait a minute, Diana.'
We could let the police
handle this, you know.
Yes, but we were
the ones that were tipped off
to, uh,
these robberies.
Not the police,
not the FBI, but us.
[exhales sharply]
That's exactly
what worries me.
[sighs]
Well, don't let
it worry you.
I can
take care of myself.
[grunts]
This looks
like a garage sale.
Hey, Harv,
how are you?
Alright,
looking good.
Use a three iron,
better.
Hello,
how are you?
Don't ask,
don't bother, fellows.
I can
manage myself.
Well, Diana Prince
got her message.
No thanks
to that Farnum kid.
(Henry)
'He ID'd you?'
[chuckles]
No big deal.
Well, maybe
it's a good thing
that you are going to
be on field assignment
as of
this afternoon.
Usual bonus?
- Fifteen thousand.
- Oh!
What am I
this time?
You are a disgruntled
house painter.
[chuckling]
What about
the NIM Unit?
Mm-hmm.
It is built into
these glasses, here, see?
Ah.
This should work.
Hmm.
Hmm, very nice.
Study this.
(Henry)
'Fifteen thousand.'
Somebody's out front.
They're asking about
the Hollenbeck bowl.
- Police?
- No, some lady.
Yes, but..
[sighs]
Incredible, how lifelike
she is, isn't it?
Well, I'm not
really into statues..
...Mr. Goring.
I'm into crystal.
As in..
...Hollenbeck.
My employer is, uh,
ready to pay you..
...eighty-five
thousand dollars
to take it off your hands.
His name is Bob...
Bertolucci.
Mr. Bertolucci's fondness
for fine art is well known.
What is not well known is that
he went into hiding in Brazil
'five months ago.'
Well, you should see
his phone bills.
I have.
Let me see
the crystal, Mr. Goring
or are you going to
tell me that, uh..
...you don't have it?
[sighs]
I'll see what I can do.
Excuse me.
There's something
funny about that girl.
I agree.
Well, then why are you
getting the bowl out?
Why not?
After all, the poor girl
is going to have
such a terrible accident
on her way home.
[door opens]
The crystal!
It's been stolen!
What do you mean,
stolen?
From you?
Y-you're a fence.
What is the world
coming to?
[instrumental music]
[thuds]
Up!
[elevator dings]
Wait, she's coming down.
Diana Prince
is making a phone call
to the police, I think.
[engine revving]
[tires screeching]
- Come on, man.
- I'm trying!
Go! Come on!
[tires screeching]
If you insist.
[car crashing]
You, uh..
...know what this means,
don't you?
You're gonna have to walk
to the police station.
[serene music]
Surprise!
Happy birthday,
my sweet.
Tad!
Oh, Taddy.
An original
Henry Roberts statue!
Oh, I've wanted one
ever so long!
I commissioned
Henry Roberts personally.
I gave him
exact specifications.
[clears throat]
Doesn't it look
a bit, uh...familiar?
- 'Why, it's Mr. Bancroft!'
- 'Right!'
That's just how he looked
when I made him
do the living room over
for the fourth time.
[laughing]
He never did get
the color right.
Oh...don't
you like it?
Oh, I adore it,
Taddy.
This will be a birthday
I shall never forget.
Mm.
(Trevor)
Okay, IRAC, is this
the list you promised me?
(IRAC)
Affirmative,
it describes ten art objects
including the bowl,
all of which were stolen
under suspiciously
similar circumstances.
Hmm, in each case,
there are no windows broken
no locks destroyed, no..
...no sign of
forcible entry at all.
(IRAC)
Each case would
indicate an inside job.
Yeah. Hmm?
IRAC, have you been watching
gangster movies again?
Of course not.
Only "Kojak"reruns.
Oh.
It looks like
the same MO was used to steal
a painting of a lion
worth $90,000
a statue of a goat
worth 75 grand, uh..
a modern art piece,
another sculpture.
Uh-oh,
here's another one.
(IRAC)
Affirmative,
it is advisable
that you investigate
the tenth theft
that of the Ram medallion
which occurred last night.
IRAC, you took the words
right out of my mouth.
Now, here's another word
for you.
Bye.
[IRAC blows raspberry]
Afternoon,
Mr. Roberts.
I still have no intention
of telling you
how I make my statues.
You don't have to, I figured out
the material you use.
- I don't care.
- At least tell me if I'm close.
What is wrong with you?
You seem to
speak English but you
do not seem to understand it.
- Hey, wait!
- I will not tell you.
- Hey!
- No.
Hold on a second.
Hey! I'm doing a term paper
on your statues!
[horn honking]
What a pain in the..
Now, now. Henry, Henry.
Mr. Farnum's persistence
is not to be discouraged.
Had he not insisted that
Diana Prince accompany him
to your opening, we wouldn't
be running ahead of schedule.
Do you know
how many telephone calls
I ignored from him yesterday?
Ten. Ten!
I believe his record is 14.
Oh! Huh.
I take it you've acquired
the Ram medallion.
How much do we fence it for?
It's worth 100,000,
so start at 75.
Go no less than 60.
Epperly will take care of it.
Three more days, Henry.
And then no art piece we acquire
will be anything
less...than priceless.
Hmm.
[chuckles]
[birds chirping]
[puffing]
[sighs]
My birthday.
Of all the days
some dreadful person
'could have picked
to ruin my life.'
Now,
we paid $7428
to install an alarm system
in here and we heard
absolutely nothing
last night.
[sighs]
I never thought
I'd hear myself badmouth
the free
enterprise system but..
[laughs]
...it does give
you pause, doesn't it?
Well, what does
really give me pause
is that out of a whole room
of expensive objects
the Ram medallion was
the only thing that was stolen.
- It was your Cousin Marvin!
- Oh!
He stole it.
He always had his eye
on that medallion.
Now, now, pumpkin.
Please forgive her,
she's very upset.
- Yesterday was her birthday!
- Her birthday. Yes, I know.
[telephone ringing]
Hello?
Well, yes,
I suppose..
It's for you.
Oh! Thank you.
Excuse me.
Huh. You'd think we were
running an answering service.
- Trevor.
- 'Steve.'
- Oh, hi, Diana.
- Got anything?
'What I've got
are no fingerprints'
no broken locks or windows
and no $100,000 medallion.
How about you?
'Well, um, you know those two
men Wonder Woman brought in?'
- 'Goring's men?'
- 'Yeah!'
'One of them made
a deal with the police'
'fingered a man
that he's pretty sure'
'is gonna fence
the stolen art objects.'
- 'Oh, yeah?'
- Yeah.
His name is Carmichael Goodman
and he runs
an art supply store
down on Gaylord.
Well, could be our thief.
We'll try to get the medallion
to Goodman today.
- Better keep an eye on him.
- 'Will do.'
Oh, Diana, by the way, did
you know that Harold Farnum
tried to call you
eight times this morning?
That's nothing,
his, uh, record is 14.
[chuckles]
I believe it.
I'll talk to you later, Steve.
'Alright, bye.'
Well, Mr. Goodman.
You are about
to grow another shadow.
[intense music]
[tires screeching]
[car horn honks]
[instrumental music]
Looking for Mr. Goodman?
Hold it!
Stay put, Mr. Goodman.
I'm in trouble. Give me
five seconds, then freeze me.
[instrumental music]
[instrumental music]
Colonel. Colonel Trevor.
Harold Farnum,
we met once last year.
Oh! Yes, yes.
Uh, how did you get up here?
Oh, they gave me
clearance downstairs.
I told them I'm doing
a little business for my father.
- I see. Well, Diana isn't here.
- Oh, I know, I know.
I've been trying to reach her
since 8:00 this morning.
Oh, why don't you leave
a note for her downstairs?
I came about something else.
Look at this, colonel.
Romulus and Remus,the two
Roberts statues commissioned
by the Italian government?
Well, I don't see what
this has to do with the IADC.
Oh, but that's not the point.
You see, I'm doing a term paper
on Henry Roberts' statues.
Try the library.
No, I'm trying to find out
exactly what they're made of.
Then ask Henry Roberts.
I have, believe me.
You see, I wanna take
all the information I have
like the picture
of the twins here, okay?
I got the picture
of the fishermen. Hmm?
This is the lady reading a book.
Have you seen any of these?
- Uh, yes, yes, I've seen them.
- Okay.
I wanna take all
the information I've gathered
feed it into your computer,
and see if he can come up
with what they're made of.
You wanna use the computer?
- Yeah.
- That's impossible.
But Diana said that IRAC could
figure it out in no time.
[zapping]
[gasping]
Harold, get off my back.
(Harold)
What is that?
That's our roving
computer module.
Excuse me.
[beeping]
- Thanks, Rover.
- 'Don't mention it.'
Computer module?
Hold on a second.
'Uh, Rover.'
Something else?
Rover, this is Harold Farnum.
Senator Farnum's son.
'I've a feeling we'll be seeing
a lot of him around here.'
I'd like to have you
commit his voice pattern
into your memory circuits.
Say something, Harold.
Hi, Rover, uh...what do you say?
What do you say?
- What did he say?
- No telling.
Now, Harold, getting back
to the IRAC computer..
...I'm afraid IADC policy
strictly forbids it.
But I know all about computers.
I took a course last semester.
Key punch, you name it.
I know it all.
Yeah, Harold,
that's not the point.
The point is that
it costs approximately
one hundred dollars per minute
for even me to use it.
Now, I couldn't possibly justify
you using it to
research a term paper.
Now, could I?
I guess not.
Well, thanks, Colonel Trevor.
Harold, I-I'm sorry.
Listen, I'll tell Diana
that you were in to see her.
She'll be delighted.
Oh!
Thanks.
Delighted she missed you.
Phew.
- Beep beep.
- Rover!
[Rover beeping]
This is Harold Farnum.
- I know.
- Take me to the IRAC computer.
- Got it?
- The IRAC computer?
Yes, take me
to the IRAC computer.
Okay, follow me.
- The computer's in here?
- That's right.
Thanks, Rover.
I'll return the favor some day.
Don't mention it.
[clicks]
[sighs]
[Rover laughing]
- 'Beep beep.'
- Mm-hmm.
Well, I guess there's only
one thing left for me to do.
[intense music]
[sighs]
Sorry to take my problems
out on you, buddy.
'But if I don't get
an A on that term paper'
'I'll never pledge Pi Chi Psi.'
Figure the only way
to get an A is to find out
exactly how you guys
are put together.
'And since nobody will tell me'
I'll have to do
my own little analysis.
I wonder what kind of surgery
Marcus Welby would call this?
I didn't, I was just,
how, how did you do?
I'll just be leaving
if it's alright.
[crashes]
Come on.
'Come on.'
- Nothing. Another dead end.
- Hmm.
All Carmichael Goodman
could tell Wonder Woman
was that he was gonna try
to fence the medallion
for a man named Ed Epperly.
The man who got away?
I had him checked
out with the police..
...and came up
with a big, fat zero.
[exhales]
So, here we are
back at square one.
Correction.
Here you are back at square one.
Me, I'm going home.
Somehow, a nice, quiet
boring evening
in front of the TV
sounds awfully good right now.
[chuckles]
Yeah. I know the feeling.
- Goodnight.
- Goodnight.
[instrumental music]
[music continues]
[buzzing]
Hmm.
[clicking]
[buzzing]
[sighs]
[dramatic music]
[music continues]
[rumbles]
[buzzing]
[instrumental music]
[whispers]
Now.
[alarm blaring]
[machine buzzing]
[rattling]
[Rover beeps]
Good morning, Steve Trevor.
[sighs]
The lab boys
are gonna have to do
something about
your sneak attacks.
Sorry about that.
You got my coffee?
Uh-oh. Forgot the coffee.
Well, what do you have?
From IRAC, I take it.
[sighs]
"The IRAC computer must
speak with Steve Trevor."
Well, you tell your boss
I'll be in right after
I finish a few things here.
Now! He wants to see you now.
Well, go on, tell him.
[Rover beeping]
I'll just bet
IRAC programmed you not to move
unless I came with you.
You guessed it.
Hmm.
Okay, okay.
I'm gonna have a real long
talk with those lab boys.
[keys clanking]
Okay, IRAC,
what do you got?
(IRAC)
Good morning,
Steve Trevor.
Look, IRAC,
for some reason I haven't
had my coffee this morning,
so let's dispense
with the pleasantries.
Get down to business.
A matter of great importance
has been called to the attention
of the IRAC computer by POLISY.
By who?
The Police Intelligence System.
Its computer has recorded
another art theft.
Where?
'A solid gold statue'
worth $125,000
was stolen last night
from the Putney museum.
(Trevor)
Same MO as
the other thefts, I take it?
No broken windows,
no signs of forced entry.
Must be an inside job.
Have you been watching
gangster movies
'again, Steve Trevor?'
Very funny.
I better get Diana
over there right away.
You took the words
right out of my mouth.
You don't have a mouth.
Goodbye.
(Rover)
Don't go
away mad.
And as for you,
coffee, cream
no sugar,
five minutes.
And a half of grapefruit.
[machine buzzing]
[whirring]
What did you do to me?
Suspended your animation,
Mr. Farnum.
(Moreaux)
Electronically
and most effectively.
See, all of Henry's
so-called statues are
as you were about to discover,
flesh-and-blood individuals..
'...delicately frozen
by a minute stream of electrons'
controlled by
a neuro-impulse modulator
developed by that brilliant
neuro-physiologist
'Robert Henderson.'
Uh, presently known to his
friends as Henry Roberts.
Yeah? Who are you?
Lloyd Moreaux,
patron of the arts
and soon to be much more.
Yeah, well, look,
my father's a senator.
(Moreaux)
'Yes, I've met him.
Fine fellow.'
Well, I've got other
connections too.
Mess with me,
you mess with the IADC.
That is precisely
what I was counting on.
Diana Prince has even
bigger connections.
When she figures out what you..
- Huh?
- Never you mind, Mr. Farnum.
Never you mind.
That's just what I was
hoping to hear, Henry.
[machine buzzing]
Let's make sure that Miss Prince
does indeed
figure it out, shall we?
I trust you know
how to get to the IADC?
Yes, sir.
Put him away.
[instrumental music]
[alarm blaring]
"Your time runs out at midnight.
"I'm surprised at you,
Miss Prince.
"If you don't break
the cycle soon..
...you'll never have
the chance."
[intense music]
(Trevor)
'The total value
of the stolen artworks'
'is more than $2 million.'
And, if Wonder Woman hadn't
recovered that medallion
our thief would be well on his
way to making it $3 million.
Yeah, and whoever he is, he's
sure eager we don't forget it.
You know, both of his riddles
seem to indicate
that he's stealing these,
uh, artworks
in some kind of a pattern.
Yeah, well, whatever the pattern
is, it's about to end.
And that's about all
we've been able to figure out
which is why I have no choice
but to consult
Mr. Personality in here.
- Care to join me?
- Oh, no, thanks.
I have no desire to make
a bad day even worse.
Coward.
[whirring]
[beeping]
(IRAC)
Circuits C-5 through
D-7 are overheating.
Oh, come on, Ira.
We've not been at it that long.
We have been at it
for two hours, Diana Prince.
I need a lube job.
Okay, okay.
We'll go on to something else.
Uh,
what about the second riddle?
Uh, why would the thief
want to emphasize
the word "Midnight?"
Perhaps, he was referring
to 12 o'clock.
Twelve.
He's stolen 11 objects.
I'll bet he means the pattern
ends with the 12th.
A logical conclusion.
So, now, what..
...pattern is composed
of 12 elements?
The word,"Chance"
could be significant.
"Chance."
Uh, let's see.
He's stolen
a still-life of scales
a jade scorpion
a mosaic entitled Centaur..
...Libra, Scorpio
and Sagittarius.
- That's it.
- All are symbols of the zodiac.
That's right and if the last
thing he stole was a bull..
Next in sequence would be twins
the symbol for Gemini.
Twins.
Romulus and Remus.
Those Henry Roberts
statues that were supposed
to be sent to Rome next month?
Ten to one, they are to be
the thief's grand finale.
Thank you, IRAC, I am off..
...to catch a thief.
(IRAC)
A word of caution,
Diana Prince.
The thief obviously
wanted the IADC
to reach this conclusion.
'His or her reasons
are still unknown.'
Well, I'm aware of that, IRAC.
That's why I intend
to go as, um..
...and be very careful. Mwah.
Bye.
Even Wonder Woman cannot be
too careful, Diana Prince.
[instrumental music]
[music continues]
[music continues]
[dramatic music]
Okay. What's this all about?
(Moreaux)
'It's about your demise,
Wonder Woman.'
Your carefully planned,
eagerly anticipated demise.
Welcome to my museum.
So, you lured me here purposely.
It was all a plan.
The art thefts, the poems.
All were part of
an intricate choreography.
See, we knew that
if we involved the IADC
'you would ultimately
be involved.'
Diana Prince warned me that
there was more to all of this
than, uh...met the eye.
And which is why,
upon solving my riddles
she sent you
here rather than
coming herself
with the police. Tch.
'How boringly
predictable of her.'
Well, speaking of boring,
why I am here?
You are about to become
my latest work of art.
(Moreaux)
'You see, several people
know that my mentor here'
plans to open his Putney exhibit
by unveiling a statue
of Wonder Woman.
I shall be there
for the unveiling.
'As will you, Wonder Woman.'
This will produce
an electrical signal
which will place you in a state
of suspended animation..
[whispers]
...forever.
Um, no thank you. I have
two of my own just like it.
[instrumental music]
[grunts]
[grunts]
[music continues]
After I destroy this,
you're gonna tell me
who you are...and where you are.
Wait, Wonder Woman.
Harold?
(Moreaux)
'Mr. Farnum is unable'
to answer.
In fact, right now, Mr. Farnum
is unable to do
much of anything.
Let him go.
After the NIM Unit
is placed on your wrist.
- Right now.
- Right now..
I can put an end to all of
Mr. Farnum's vital functions.
'Would you like that,
Wonder Woman?'
- You win.
- I won the day I planned this.
(Moreaux)
'The rest was simply
a matter of time.'
Now, let's see,
hands on your hips, I think.
'Yes, that's it.'
Well, now, smile.
'Smile the smile you would
like to wear through eternity'
because wear it through
eternity you shall.
[electronic buzzing]
(Moreaux)
'Henry, say goodbye to
the one person in the world'
'who could have stood between
us and everything in the world'
'worth stealing.'
Yes, they do take
rather a long time
but, I think
it's worth it, don't you?
Oh, uh, would you excuse me?
Uh, ladies and gentlemen.
I, uh, want to say
that I am deeply honored
that so many of you
have chosen to attend
this formal opening
of my new show.
And so, to honor you
my latest, and hopefully,
my best creation.
Uh, if you, please.
[murmuring]
(Moreaux)
Uh, ladies and gentlemen.
Please, may I have
your attention?
Now, as you know, I have
supported Henry's work
for three years now.
'Helped him monetarily
and spiritually as he..'
...uh, struggled to
perfect his technique.
But whatever debt he may
have incurred is now forgotten.
For I, through him
have created a masterpiece.
His statue captures
the very heart and soul
of the great lady it depicts
'as Wonder Woman herself
would have to admit, hmm?'
[instrumental music]
[grunts]
Reel him in.
[rattling]
Why, it's a familiar voice
you have, Mr. Moreaux.
You tricked me.
Well, I had to find out
who you were somehow.
Well, I was sure the modulator
would work even on you.
It may very well have worked
if I hadn't switched it
for one of my own bracelets.
Oh! That wasn't part
of the choreography.
[sighs]
Neither was your
returning Harold Farnum
and those other
statues to normal.
But that's precisely
what you're about to do.
Shall we?
[instrumental music]
(Harold)
'So Moreaux figured out
how to combine'
'Roberts' knowledge
of electronics'
with his own knowledge of art
so they can make a killing.
Oops! Bad choice of words.
[chuckles]
Well, unfortunately,
you stumbled
on to their plan
to remove Wonder Woman.
Hey, you know, one good thing
about what those guys did to me
was, uh, it gave me
a lot of time to think
which I did.
Mostly about us.
Us?
- What are you doing tomorrow?
- As in night?
There's a party at this
fraternity I'm gonna pledge
near the college..
What?
My term paper.
I-I don't have a topic anymore.
- It's due in three days!
- Oh, gosh!
Oh, uh, Diana,
I'm gonna have to go work
on that paper tomorrow night.
Hey, listen, I understand.
Um, uh, but I'll make it up
to you. I will, I promise.
Oh. No hurry, Harold.
[chuckles]
No hurry.
[theme music]
♪ Wonder Woman ♪
♪ Wonder Woman ♪
♪ Wonder Woman ♪♪