With Love (2021–…): Season 1, Episode 2 - New Year's Eve - full transcript

[♪ C.L. BLAST: "LOVE IS GOOD"]

[LILY MOANING]

- ♪ Love ♪
- ♪ Ooh, love ♪

♪ Love is good
when you love somebody ♪

- ♪ Right on, right on ♪
- ♪ Yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Baby, ha, ha ♪

- ♪ You don't think
that I love you ♪
- [BUZZING]

♪ But I bet you I do, yeah ♪

♪ You don't think
that I want you, baby ♪

♪ But I got news for you ♪

♪ I was blessed ♪



- ♪ The day that I met you...
- Yeah.

How are you hot
and good at this?

I eat a lot of mangoes.

♪ And my heart ♪

- ♪ Feels ♪
- [MOANING]

- ♪ My surrender...
- Now that we've done this,

like, 20 times,
what do you rate this?

Scale of one to ten.

I don't know, a ten?

- Get back to it. Oh, yeah.
- [CHUCKLES]

Even I find it hard to believe
that I'm a perfect ten.

Oh, my God. Downgrade to a nine.

Report card says highly talented
but way too chatty.

[CHUCKLES]



- [MOANS]
- [DOOR OPENS, CLOSES]

[PANTING]

I thought he was supposed
to be gone all morning.

Wait, wait,
wh-what are you looking for?

My underwear. I can't find them.

Well, it's-it's got to be
around here somewhere.

Okay, let's retrace steps.

- Okay. There.
- Uh...

Yeah.

- There.
- There.

- [BOTH] The kitchen.
- [KNOCKING]

[GASPS]

♪ ♪

Hey, Nick.

[CHUCKLES] Hey!

Wow.

Okay, we're full Donald Duck-ing
it this morning.

Yeah. I was, uh...

meditating.

Oh. Well,

I mean, I haven't seen
your penis in a while.

I mean, it looks very, um...

tired.

Does it have anything to do
with this?

[GASPS]

Look, I don't normally judge

your revolving door of hookups,

but this is unforgivable.

Tillys, Nick.

I am deeply concerned
that you are having sex

with someone that wears
full bottom coverage,

because the person
that wears these

is truly dead inside.

[NICK] Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You are absolutely right, bro.

I've lowered my standards.
I'm gonna fix that, but, uh...

[SUCKS AIR THROUGH TEETH]
new year, new Nick. [CHUCKLES]

Well, my work here is done.

Oh. Will you text Lil

and tell her
that brunch is in an hour?

Henry's gonna meet us there,

and you have 30 minutes
to clean this up.

So...

[EXHALES]

They were on sale.

He said...

[WHISPERS] See you at brunch.

♪ ♪

♪ I woke up one day and planned
to get reckless, felt myself ♪

♪ And put on my best necklace,
posted in the group chat ♪

♪ Who wants to faaji? They were
only down for the after-party ♪

♪ Hmm, my body is ready
and it's sweeting me ♪

♪ Like I have jedi-jedi ♪

♪ Who else would be hype?
Who has the ginger? ♪

♪ Only this guy that I know
through my sister ♪

♪ So I hit him up and told him
let's roll ♪

♪ And he told me
he'll pioneer the parole ♪

♪ Now it's a movement,
the night can't waste ♪

♪ So I got some Henny
out the stash for a taste ♪

♪ The whole squad turnt
and the music is flames ♪

♪ And we don't even know
anybody here's names ♪

♪ Can't even front,
I have no regrets ♪

♪ Low-key one
of my best nights yet ♪

♪ Ooh, I'm on a big wave ♪

♪ Everybody around me
prolly feels same ♪

♪ Nothing can faze me now ♪

♪ Who has the ginger? ♪

♪ ♪

- ♪ Damn ♪♪
- Yeah.

Th-They're trusting me
to deal with brand ambassadors,

and Daphne said there might be
a position opening soon.

So, kind of exciting.

Uh, Mom,

I-I got to go.
I-I'll talk to you later, okay?

Yeah. I love you, too. Bye.

Hey, babe. Who was that?

Just my mom. Morning, Nicholas!

Morning, Henrikson!

I'm gonna go see
if they can seat us now.

Okay. [CHUCKLES]

So, when do I finally get
to meet your mom?

I mean, is there, like, a series
of tests that I have to pass?

Because I have
an amazing handshake.

Next time. [CHUCKLES SOFTLY]

Yeah.

Okay, cool. Next time.

But you have
to let me know in advance,

because I have to waterboard
myself with serums.

- [CHUCKLES] Lily!
- Hey.

Yes, you made it!
Oh, thank God you're here.

"Thank God you're here"?
A little dramatic.

- Hi.
- Hey, babe.

- Oh, Lil,
thank God you're here.
- Okay,

you got to be shitting me
with this.

What? They said
they can't seat us

until the entire party's here.

Ugh, it's one of those places?

The words "free-range"
and "grass-fed"

are definitely on this menu.

This is Portland.
Those words are on every menu.

- True.
- I mean, I bet their mimosas
come with a sprig of lavender.

And much like Nick this morning,

those mimosas
will be bottomless.

- Ey-o!
- [LAUGHS]

Don't worry, man. He loves you.

- I do.
- Mm...

[SIGHS]

[EXHALES]

That's not good.

♪ ♪

Ew.

Geez.

[INHALES]

♪ ♪

[INHALES]

[EXHALES]

[SNIFFS] Okay.

[WOMAN SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY
ON TV]

See this?

This is a person
who is about to work out.

I've heard rumors
about this species.

Well, I just noticed some of my
jeans are getting a little snug,

so I thought I would get a jump
on my New Year's resolution

by joining a running club.

Today is the first
official meetup.

- Oh.
- It would be nice if you came.

Oh, sweating's not for me.

The dry cleaner would disagree.

You never want to do anything.

Don't you get tired
of just watching crime shows?

I thought
you liked our daily foray

into the mind
of a serial killer.

Forget it. I will improve my
cardiovascular health on my own.

Proud of you.

- Mm.
- If you need me,

I'll be right here,

solving crimes.

[CRUNCHING]

It's the husband!

Why's it always the husband?

♪ ♪

What do we think about this one?

[CHUCKLES SOFTLY] It's perfect.

Let me ask, will the other
sister wives be joining you?

Concur. We can do better.

- Tough crowd today.
- You asked!

For advice, not for y'all
to read me to filth.

- What's the difference?
- Thank you.

Child, thank the Lord
we are here.

- 'Cause what would they do
without us?
- I mean,

is this what charity work
feels like?

Are we good people?

It is, and we are.

What do we think about this one?

- [MELO] Mm.
- Okay!

- [MELO] Mm.
- Now, it's the subtle

and classy sluttiness for me.

- [MELO] It's really
the necessity of this look.
- Mm-hmm.

That doctor is absolutely going
to shit himself.

- I'm obsessed.
- [GIGGLES]
- [PHONE CHIMES]

Speaking of, he just texted me.

- Ooh, let me see!
- Ooh, show me, show me,
show me.

Show me.

[GASPS] Oh!

"It's ridiculous
how excited I am for tonight."

Oh, my God.

You better swap them
kitten heels for rain boots,

'cause, baby,
this basement is flooded!

- [LAUGHING]
- Mmm.

- [LAUGHING]
- Henry,

we should give you the lowdown
on everything

that's happening tonight,
because the Diaz clan

- takes New Year's Eve
very seriously.
- Yeah.

Sadly, my grandparents
are spending

New Year's
with the Delgado side,

so our parents
are taking the reins.

We'll do an early New Year's
with them,

which we'll count down to 9:00,
East Coast midnight,

and then we'll do all of the
ridiculous Latino traditions:

- the dirty water toss,
the suitcase walk...
- [CHUCKLES]

...the chugging of the grapes.

And then we'll go
to your fancy party,

where we can get all slurry.

Actually, I have
pre-fancy party work.

So this plus-one is
unfortunately now a minus-one.

- Oh, no.
- What?
- I know, babe.

I'm sorry. Hey,

at least
we'll end the night together.

Yeah. Okay.

Yeah, and-and that's
what matters,

'cause I normally hate
New Year's, if I'm honest.

I mean, it's loud, it's late.
There's always

a drunk person trying
to tell you their life story.

- [LILY CHUCKLES]
- Um, but this year,

I have a built-in midnight kiss.

Thanks for the reminder.

Not all of us have
a guaranteed midnight kiss.

- [JORGE] I'm sorry.
- Oh, wait, really?
You don't have that?

[JORGE] Well,
Nick doesn't bother

with such plebeian concerns.

I mean, he always manages to
find a midnight make-out buddy.

Undefeated!

20 years straight. And that's
just secular New Year's.

I'm not even counting
Lunar New Year's,

Diwali, Rosh Hashanah...

You're a slut. We get it.

[LAUGHING]

[FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING]

[GASPS]

Oh, my God. This looks amazing.

- Doesn't it, Emily?
- It does indeed look amazing.

I am gonna hire you guys
for literally everything.

The hot carpenter brothers.

- Am I right?
- [LAZ] [CHUCKLES] Yeah.

My older brother here
taught me everything I know.

- [CHUCKLES]
- Yeah. Nice try, viejito.

This is actually my dad.

But we get that a lot.

A hot father-son duo?

Hello, bucket list.

Plus, you guys came in

at half the price
of all the other bids.

- ¿La mitad? Papi...
- Cállate la boca.

Ooh. I'm sorry,
are you also learning Spanish?

[CLEARS THROAT]

La naranja es naranja.

[CHUCKLES]

Yeah, no, um,

we actually are Cuban.

I love that.

Sorry about Daphne. She's...

Better in small doses?

Exactly.

But she's not wrong.

You're really good
with your hands.

Don't leave without getting
that young chica's number.

You and I both know you know
nothing about this, old man.

Listen, youngblood,

when a woman smile at you
like that,

that has only ever meant
one thing.

It means she wants to get
a little bit of that

- "ay, papi," huh? [LAUGHS]
- Stop.

- El trabajo.
W-Wait, what are you doing?
- [LAUGHS]

[LAUGHING]

Okay, we're gonna get fired.
Come on...

This run determines
your pace group,

so run at your comfort level.

Let's go! Let's go, let's go!

- First time?
- Yes.

- [CHUCKLES] Me, too.
- Oh! Thank you.

[GROANS]

How am I tired already?

[LAUGHS] Thank God.

I thought I was the only one
whose obituary would read

- "Murdered by Running Club."
- [CHUCKLING]

- Leo.
- Oh. Beatriz.

Well, Beatriz... [EXHALES]

..care to be my CPR buddy

- in case one of us croaks?
- [LAUGHS]

Sure.

- Ow. Wait. [PANTING]
- [EXHALES]

What if we die at the same time?

[LAUGHS]

Oh. [LAUGHS]

So, I know this is probably
a little bit random, but,

if you're free tonight,

maybe you'd want to come back
for the party?

Oh. That's very kind of you,

but, um,
my dad and I have plans.

Espérate. [GRUNTS]

I'm so sorry,
but I have to cancel.

You're free.

Uh, really,
thank you for the offer,

- but maybe another time.
- Of course.

You're welcome to stop by
if you change your mind.

Okay.

¿Qué pasó?

What the hell was that?
She's cute.

Yes, she's cute. So?

So put yourself out there.

It's what your mom would want.

All right.

I promise I will...
put myself out there.

I just need a little more time.

Oh, so you got all the time
in the world?

Must be nice.

Do I refrigerate grapes
or leave them out?

I legitimately don't know.

You refrigerate grapes.

[NICK] Huh.

Apples, berries,
cherries, grapes,

kiwis, mangoes

and, oh,

never pears.

[NICK] Oh.

Good to know about mangoes.

I do love mangoes.

Okay. That's enough
adulting for me.

I'm gonna go read Vogue
in my bedroom.

[DOOR CLOSES]

[QUIETLY] Look,
I know we're having fun,

but maybe we need to pump
the brakes on the hookup game.

Jorge almost caught us.

- Yeah, I know, I know.
- If Jorge finds out about us,

he's gonna think
I'm trying to blow up my life.

Wait, why is sleeping with me
considered blowing up your li...

You know what?
Don't answer that.

So, what, are we just gonna...

take a weeklong hiatus or...

Oh, I was thinking...

indefinitely.

Oh.

Oh, okay. Yeah, that, uh...

- That's okay.
- Wait,

what was that? Are you sad?

[SCOFFS] Whatever. No, I am not.

- Well, I'm kind of sad.
- I'm kind of sad, too.

Look,

we both know what this is.

I'm rebounding and
you're basically a drive-through

for horny single women.

- [CHUCKLES SOFTLY]
- But I like you

- too much to use you.
- Yeah,

please, use me, use me.

- I...
- Look, look. Look,

we both had our fun.

But now it's time
to be grown-ups.

[INHALES]

[SIGHS]

You toggle between friendship
and the other stuff

really well, you know?

Like tonight.

We'll just toggle
from fuck buddies to...

I guess just buddies.

Yeah. Yeah, no problem.

Now I just got to figure out
how to maintain

my 20-year streak
of midnight make-outs.

Wait. That's perfect.

I want
a New Year's makey-outy, too.

[GASPS] Let's be
each other's wingperson tonight.

Yes. Yes, that way, we evolve
from fuck buddies to...

real adults.

- Yes.
- We're setting
sexual boundaries

and putting fruit in the fridge.

I love this for us.

Yes.

[LAPTOP KEYS TAPPING]

I'm excited to meet
your coworkers later tonight.

Is there any hot goss
I should know about?

Not really.

Come on.

I mean, who's a dick?
Who's weird?

Who... slept their way
to the middle?

[CHUCKLES] I-I don't know
about any of that.

They all seem pretty nice.

Is everything okay?

Yeah, it's fine.

Just a lot of logistical stuff
with work.

[WHISPERING] Right.

Right. Totally.

[CLEARS THROAT SOFTLY]

[EXHALES]

Why are we so slow?

I think the better question is,
why are they so fast?

- [PANTS]
- What are they running from?

Their Lululemon
credit card debt?

- [LAUGHS]
- [CHUCKLES] Come on.
Let's get back to you.

- Things were just getting
interesting.
- Oh.

I can assure you
there is nothing interesting

about me taking over
my father's restaurant.

- [SCOFFS]
- Unless you want the chisme

that our head chef impregnated
one of our waitresses.

[CHUCKLES] What?
What's a "chisme"?

[LAUGHS, PANTS] It's Mexican
for "gossip."

Oh. Do you like it?

- Gossip? Yeah.
- [CHUCKLES]

As long as I'm not the one
knocked up.

[CHUCKLES] I meant
working at the restaurant.

Oh. Yeah.

I usually hover somewhere
between satisfied and...

mostly satisfied.

I like the people
and being part of the community.

But, uh, the pressure

- can be a lot sometimes,
you know?
- [PANTS]

Got to make sure
my dad's dream doesn't go under.

- [PANTING]
- But was it your dream, too?

Uh, you okay?

Got a cramp?

No.

I'm fine. It's just...

Whew.

No one's
ever asked me that before.

[PANTING]

Actually,
I wanted to be a nurse.

- Even went to school for it.
- Oh.

What made you change course?

[INHALES] My dad
had a heart attack.

Oh.

- Shit.
- Yeah.

I dropped out
of the nursing program that week

and didn't think twice about it.

Of course. Yeah. Duty called.

Loud and clear.

So I split my time between
my dad and the restaurant.

And I guess I...

always thought I'd go back
and finish up my degree, but...

whew,

time really snuck up on me.

Oh, I'm so sorry.

Wow. Nothing worse
than a sweaty old woman

whining about her life.

First of all, you aren't old.

And just so we're clear,

you make that sweat look good.

- Oh. [CHUCKLES]
- [CHUCKLES]

Thank you.
You are sweet for saying that.

You sure it wasn't creepy?

- [LAUGHS] No.
- [CHUCKLES]

- I didn't hate it. [CHUCKLES]
- [CHUCKLES]

Oh. Come on.

- We better catch up.
- Oh, really?

- Yeah. I mean...
- Okay.

...got to make it look
like we're trying.

- [PANTING] Okay.
- [PANTING]

- [SOFT CHATTER]
- [INDISTINCT P.A. ANNOUNCEMENT]

Oh.

Never seen you not
in a lab coat before.

Disappointed?

Uh-uh.

Good. Shall we?

[PHONE BUZZING]

Shit.

I just got called into the ER.

They're short-staffed
because of the holiday.

Oh, yeah, New Year's
is the worst in the ER.

- I'm surprised
I haven't gotten...
- [BUZZING]

[SIGHS] Looks like I got a few
last-minute consults of my own.

Rain check?

Sure.

How's Tuesday?

I'm in the CCU until 4:00.

Slammed until 9:00. Wednesday?

Not happening.
Scheduled for an overnight.

Friday?

- I have morning rounds.
- I got night.

- [SIGHS]
- Should we, uh,
circle back in...

June?

Santi's ninth birthday.

- Third grade talent show.
[CHUCKLES]
- Oh, gosh.

Eighth Halloween.

Whew.

We really got
the Criterion Collection

of memories here, huh?

You know what?

You don't need
to be spending New Year's

digging through the past
with your old man.

Do me a favor. Go to that party.

[SIGHS]

Okay. All right. Papi,

let me play this out for you.

'Kay?

Say I go out with Emily.
Then what?

We have nothing to talk about.

So I'll bring up a book because,
you know, that's my thing.

And then she'll tell me
she wishes

she had more time to read.

Then she'll bring up

a TV show
that obviously I've never seen.

And we'll sit in awkward silence
while we both realize

we have nothing in common behind
our superficial attraction.

I mean, could I have sex
with her? Probably.

Probably.

- [CHUCKLES SOFTLY]
- But I'm gonna feel empty

and hollow inside, okay?

So maybe we should
just avoid all that.

Oh, Santi. No.

All those words, son.

All those words
and you didn't say a damn thing

- worth taking serious.
- Come on.

Papi, you know
people are hard for me.

Plus, I'm the guy
who's best friends with his dad.

Hey, what-what's wrong
with that?

Oyeme,

you can spin
whatever story you want

in that big ole head of yours

or you can actually do
some living.

People will surprise you,
if you let 'em.

Fine.

Huh?

Wow! You're listening
to your papi now?

[LAUGHS] Oh! I got to write this
on my calendar, huh?

- Come on.
- Okay!

The throwing of the dirty
mop water is about to begin!

[CHEERING]

We cleaned house,
and now all the muck of 2021

gets tossed out to make way

- for the clean slate of 2022!
- Fuck yeah.

[CHEERING]

- Are you ready?
- Are you ready?!

- [CHEERING]
- All right. Just say the word.

- Come on, let's do it!
- Here we go!

- [GASPING]
- Oh.

Wow.

Well, I ended last year
in a dirty bath.

- I guess that's two in a row.
- Oh.

- Hi. Okay. All right.
- Oh, oh.

- I'll get you a towel.
- Hello! Happy...
- Oh, my...

Okay, I am feeling this look!

- Huh.
- I mean, I got to shop

in your closet more.

[LAUGHS] Oh, my God.

- [CHUCKLES]
- Hey, mama, I am so sorry.

I feel like it's always you who
gets the metaphorical dousing.

Honestly, I'm used to it by now.

I know everyone thinks
I'm a total mess--

and they're not wrong--

but I'm having way more fun

- than any of you.
- [CHUCKLES]

Actually, I have
always admired that about you.

Aw.

[INHALES]

[EXHALES]

Kind of feel like
I've spent too much time

coloring inside the lines.

You know, sometimes I wonder
what life would have been like

if I hadn't.

You're looking at it, baby.

I mean, no kids.

I stay up all night watching
Bravo with my gay friends.

- I'm 44 and ready for more.
- [CHUCKLING]

That does really sound like fun.

- It is.
- And, uh, you are 46.

If I'm 46, then you're 52.

I am 52!

That is your choice.

[GROANS, CHUCKLES]

Well, you must be doing
something right,

'cause you're glowing tonight.

So whatever this is,

keep doing it.

[EXHALES]

[MUSIC PLAYING FAINTLY]

Everybody!

This is my friend Taylor.

He's one of my regulars
at the restaurant.

He's a Scorpio. And, oh, he also
happens to be single, straight

- and exactly Lily's age.
So weird.
- [BEATRIZ] Oh.

- Nice to meet you. [CHUCKLES]
- Nice to meet you.
Thanks for having me.

[JORGE SR.] Hey.
Thanks for coming.

So, what do we think?

Eh.

He is fun to look at.

[NICK] Mm. Well,
if you want to make out

with someone subpar,
be my guest.

But, uh, I had higher hopes
for you, Diaz.

- Please.
- [CHUCKLES]

[BEATRIZ] Okay, everybody!

Grab a suitcase!

It's time for the maleta walk!

You get a vacation!
You get a vacation!

Anyone who wants
to travel in the new year?

- Step right up!
- Right here.

Hi...!

Hi.

- Bye...
- [CHUCKLES]

Uh, do you care to explain
this whole...

suitcase stroll to an outsider?

Yeah. Um, you walk around
the block with empty suitcases

to invite travel
into your new year.

Then you walk up to a random
house, knock on the door

and say with a creepy voice,

"I died here 80 years ago."

- What?
- [CHUCKLES]

Really?

No.

That would be terrifying.

I don't know. If you showed up
at my front door,

I'd be pretty happy about it.

So, who's... Jorge?

Is that competition?

No, he's my brother, so gross.

You wear a necklace
with your brother's name on it?

Yeah. We get these necklaces

when we're teenagers
as a tradition.

So instead of wearing our own,
we decided to switch

and have been doing it
ever since.

Mm. That's kind of weird.

[SCOFFS] No, it's not.
It's adorable.

Yeah, I guess
it is kind of cute.

So do you want
to do this walk together?

Lil, let's move. You're
my suitcase buddy this year.

- Come on.
- Well, I guess that's Jorge?

It is.

Sorry, outsider.

Maybe next year.

[JORGE] Who is that?

I don't know.
He's kind of cute, isn't he?

Yeah. Yeah, a little bit.

♪ ♪

And it was as if
he didn't want me to meet her.

Who would not want me
to meet their mom?

I'm the best thing to happen
to moms since the Instapot,

- and you know that. But...
- [CHUCKLES SOFTLY]

[SIGHS] I feel him pulling away.

And... I know that I'm a lot.

but...

like, am I too much?

I mean, look,
you're not exactly a mild salsa.

But no one interesting
likes mild salsa.

I'm telling you, Lil.
Something is up.

This is exactly what happened
before Marcos and I broke up.

Okay, first of all,
Marcos was married.

To a woman. Who you did not know
about for eight months.

Yes, fine, he was problematic,

but he still broke my heart.

It's okay to be scared,

but I think
you might be overreacting.

Last week, you and Henry
were relationship goals!

Yes, but something has changed.

I mean, I ask him how his day
was, I get one-word answers.

Plus, he bailed on tonight,
which is giving

big "I don't want to be around
your family" red flag vibes.

But he had to work, right?

Or he's just doing the holidays

because he got wrapped up in
all of this Christmas madness,

and now he's gonna dump me
before the new year.

Think of what you're saying!

It doesn't even make sense.

Everyone knows
you break up with someone

before the holidays,

so you don't have to get them
a gift.

This is when I tell you
he hasn't gotten me a gift,

because it's "on the way."

Jorge, I'm sure
it is on the way.

- Mm-mm.
- And I'm sure
everything is okay.

Look, let's just finish our walk

- so we can manifest travel
for next year.
- [GROANS SOFTLY]

I'm thinking... Tulum.

You would think Tulum.

You know what?
I'm doing this alone.

No, Lil, it was a joke.

It was a joke.

It's basic to think Tulum.

♪ ♪

Oh.

Hello.

I didn't expect to see you
down here, uh...

ever.

Well, I got called in
for an emergency consult.

Of course,
because it's stitches.

And you make things pretty.

Wait, are you
on my rotation tonight?

- I guess I am.
- Well, lucky me.

- [CHUCKLES]
- So,

you come here often?

Are you serious?

Sorry, I was just, um...

Flirting. Yeah, I can see that.

- [MILES CHUCKLES]
- Oh, don't mind me.

[CHUCKLES] I'm just in
a huge amount of pain.

- [GASPS]
- Oh, my gosh. Yes, I'm sorry.

Yes, we'll, um...

Let's take a look at that.

How long have you been a doctor?

Okay.

♪ ♪

So, what do you think of Taylor?

He's fine.

I was doing a vibe check
earlier, and...

I don't know, kind of seemed
like you were into Nick.

What?

No. Ha.

I'm not into Nick.

- Okay.
- [OTHERS] Ten!

Ready to shotgun your grapes?

Oh! Slow bitches
get left behind!

- Oh! Get over here, Tía!
- [LAUGHING]

- Oh, no!
- Seven!

- Six!
- [CHUCKLING]

- Five!
- [JORGE SR.] No!

- Four!
- [LILY] Oh, God.

- Three!
- [GLADYS] Oh! Oh, no!

- [COUGHING]
- Two! One!

- [CHEERING]
- [CHUCKLING]
- [COUGHING]

- [JORGE SR.] Happy New Year!
- It's not New Year's

unless someone chokes
on the uvas!

- [COUGHING]
- [JORGE SR.] Salud, everybody!

[OTHERS] ¡Salud!

- [CHEERING]
- [♪ "AULD LANG SYNE"]

- [COUGHING]
- [INDISTINCT CHATTER]

[CRICKETS CHIRPING]

- [QUIET CHATTER]
- [EXHALES]

[HENRY SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY]

[EMILY SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY]

[HENRY] Oh, yeah, yeah.

[SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]

Hey.

You made it.

And you are very early. Hi.

Hi. Um...

You said it started at 9:00.

Yeah. Most people don't show up
till, like, 10:30-ish.

Then why say it starts at 9:00?

I don't know. It's a custom.

Have you never been
to a party before?

Once.

It wasn't for me. [INHALES]

I-I'm kidding. [CHUCKLES]

[CHUCKLES] Oh.

Well, I like men
who are punctual.

Right. Well...

do you like men
who help fold napkins?

I like them even more.

- Okay.
- Ooh. Yeah. Empanada me.

- Okay. Here you go.
- Thank you.

[MOUTHING]

[SCOFFS, GIGGLES]

I made some fresh sangria
in the kitchen.

- Ooh. Sangria.
- Yeah. Get in on that.

Tía, what are you doing?
I'm not into Nick.

You've always been
a little stupid.

If I were into Nick,
which I am not...

- Okay.
- ...would I do this?

- Hey.
- Hey.

You're into me
and want to go out, right?

Yes. Y-Yes, I do.

Great. I want you to come with
me to a New Year's Eve party.

A different party. Later.

As my date.

Um...

Uh, yes, I have a...
I have a... I have a thing,

but I can meet you there later,
if that's cool.

That's cool. See ya later.

All right. See ya later.

That's how it's done, Tía.

Well, if you didn't take him
home, I was gonna try.

- [SIGHS] Okay.
Here's an empanada.
- I taught you

- everything you know.
- It's true.

It's true.

- [ETHEREAL POP SONG PLAYING]
- [INDISTINCT CHATTER]

♪ ♪

Oh!

I did makeup on a shoot here.

This place is great.

- Oh, cool.
- [HENRY] Oh, hey!

Hey. Oh, Daphne, Emily, okay,

um, so these are my friends.

- Thanks so much
for getting them in.
- [DAPHNE] Okay.

Hi! Thank CinGin!

CinGin?

- Mm-hmm.
- Oh, uh, cinnamon-flavored gin.
[MOUTHS]

I'm so glad you guys came.
And I'm so glad

you brought
such gorgeous people.

BT-dubs,
the CinGin execs are obsessed

with your cocktail menu.

They should be obsessed
with taking the cinnamon out

of their gin.

Nice to meet you guys.

Feel free to use one
of our VIP areas.

Oh. Ooh, Henry, incoming.

The L.A. clients just arrived,

and one of them thinks
you're very hot, so undo

one of your buttons.
Okay, let's do this.

Let's go, let's go.

Be right back.

[DAPHNE] Hi!

Oh. No, cool. Totally.

I'm just one of his friends now.

Aw, dude, are you still
freaking out about all this?

You've been getting this, too?

Yeah. Classic Jorge,

burning the anxiety candle
at both ends.

I'm sorry, did you two
not see what happened?

The-the coat thing?

I'm just one of his friends now,

like the guy that takes care
of his dog when he's out of town

and then we have that
awkward thing where he's like,

"Let me pay you," and I'm like,
"No, no, no, it's totally fine,"

- but, really,
I want him to pay.
- Aw. Henry has a dog?

He doesn't have a dog, Lil.
That's not the point.

The point is, is that he
introduced me to his coworkers

as one of his friends.

-Oh, my God, Jorge,
just talk to him.
- Yeah, man.

Henry's a great guy,
and he's super into you.

- This isn't like Carlos.
- Mm.

- Or Federico.
- Mm-hmm.

Okay.

Point is, I agree with Lil.

- You got to talk to him.
- Well, I would,

but it looks like
he's flirting with, like,

some executive client
that's also handsome.

I know
where this night is going,

and I do not want to be sober
for it.

So, Lil, I need a drink.

Sobriety-killers incoming.

Yeah.

[EXHALES] Scuse me.

Hello?

Enjoy.

Hey, I'll get one vodka tonic

and an Alis Volat Propriis
pinot.

Damn, a girl
who knows what she wants.

♪ ♪

Oh, uh...

I don't... I don't really.

I just had it once
and I liked it.

You know, I've always wanted
to be one of those people

who has my own drink.

But I'm not really there yet.

Uh, what's your poison?

Oh. Um...

French 75.

Fun,

bubbly,

classic.

And a French 75 for my...

friend.

You know, my abuela
drinks French 75s.

Well, I don't know your grandma.

- Uh-huh.
- But I'm guessing
she's a badass,

so I'm gonna take that
as a compliment.

Okay.

[EMILY] Ooh!

What are you drinking?

Um...

- Mmm.
- Enjoy your night.

Oh. Thank you for the...

drink.

So much better than CinGin.

♪ Que es más que una fase,
todo el silencio ♪♪

[PHONE CHIMES]

[INHALES]

[EXHALES]

[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]

[INHALES]

[EXHALES]

[INHALES]

Oh.

Hi.

[CHUCKLES, INHALES SHARPLY]

So... [EXHALES] babe.

Yeah.

Here's to 2022.

I have a feeling...

- it's gonna be your year.
- [EXHALES]

Aw.

[INHALES]

[DAPHNE] Shots, bitches!

For the next 15 minutes,
moderation is your mortal enemy.

Shut the fuck up and drink!

[WHOOPING]

Yeah!

[GROANS] Mm.

- Poison.
- Okay.

- Clock is ticking.
- [CHUCKLES]

- Time to get you laid.
- [CHUCKLES]

Uh... Daphne,

I'm... I mean, congrats.

- This party's a big success.
- Yeah.

Hard agree, bro.

This party is so lit, buddy.

[DAPHNE] Oh. Wow.

- Uh, just give me one sec.
- Absolutely.

- Mm.
- Um, wait, what's going on?

Nothing. No, I'm just,
like, super stoked

on this party, amigo.

Wait, are you being serious
right now?

- [CHUCKLES]
- Look, if you're gonna dump me,

can you just do it already?

Wait, what are you
talking about?

You won't introduce me
to your mom.

You barely share anything
when I ask you about your day.

And then you just introduced me
to all of your coworkers

as your friend.

Look, I've been down
this road before,

and I know
when I'm about to get dumped.

Wh-Where is all this
coming from?

I am not a mild salsa!

♪ Ya se que te late ♪

♪ Me quiero comunicar
sin decir nada...

Ooh! What about Updo?

One o'clock.

[NICK] What? Her? No.

She's wearing flats
on New Year's Eve.

She's sealed up tighter
than a Tupperware.

All right.

Who else we got?

[EXHALING]

Ooh, ooh, ooh. Found one.

Brunette. Your three o'clock.

[LILY] Oh. Sorry, bud.
She's taken.

- Really?
- It's all in the body language.

She's checking her phone
every few minutes,

keeps glancing at the door.

That, my friend, is a girl

waiting for her person
to show up.

[NICK] Wow.

- Mm.
- Is that a whiff of game, Diaz?

Pretty impressive. [INHALES]

Ooh, what about, uh...

what about her?
Purple dress. She single?

Mmm. And ready to mingle.

- Okay.
- Yeah.

By the way, you know,
this is adorable,

but I don't actually need you,
right? I mean...

[MIMICS GUNSHOTS]

Would you just...

[SIGHS]

♪ Mírame, mírame...

Hi.

I'm Lily.

So, there's this guy...

♪ Que decir nada...

So, what do you say?
Want to have a drink with him?

[SIGHS] Okay, fine.

Who is he?

Oh, fuck yeah.

Girl, you should have just led
with that.

♪ Que no tenemos
que decir nada...

I will take it from here.

Hey.

Hi. [CHUCKLES]

- How's it going?
- Good.

So, you come here often?

♪ ♪

[SANTIAGO] Yeah, no,

um, I don't own a TV. [CHUCKLES]

Crazy, right? I know.
I'm one of those guys.

No, I love that. So you
just watch, like, nothing?

I read. A lot.

- Mm.
- Uh, like, right now,
I'm working my way

through a book
called Being Mortal.

Cool.

Smart.

Wow, this party is... big.

Yeah. Thanks.

I have to go to parties
like this all the time.

Shit. I'm so sorry. That sucks.

Wait, what?

I can't tell
if you're kidding or not.

No. [CHUCKLES] Sorry.

[CHUCKLES] Well, it's just...

you've done a great job
with this party.

I mean, look at these people.
They look like they're having

a great time, right?
[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]

You know what?
I should probably take a lap.

Yeah, totally. Taking a lap.

I'll be right here.

Wow.

That was brutal to watch.

Wasn't all that fun
to live, either.

Well, love is the fucking worst
anyway, right? [CHUCKLES SOFTLY]

Listen, in her defense, though,

you did say
that you don't like parties.

So does that mean
that you don't like pizza,

vacations,

Beyoncé?

Yeah. Might be time
to rethink my strategy.

Yeah. [CHUCKLES]

How's your night going?

What's worse than a train wreck?

'Cause that's how it's going.

No shit.

Yeah.

Can't seem to get out
of my own way.

Well, there's a lot of that
going around right now.

[SIGHS]

So what are two assholes like us
supposed to do?

It's New Year's.

Typically, I'm not the kind
of person to make resolutions,

but... [INHALES]

...maybe it's time
for an exception.

To getting out of our own way.

- Have a good night.
- Yeah. Yeah, you, too.

Would you mind pinching the
forceps just a little tighter?

Like that?

That's great.

Okay, now move with me.

Slowly.

Just turn.

Perfect.

So, tell me more

about your family.
What are your folks like?

Well, my mother's from Indiana

and my dad was born in Jersey.

I'm sure
that's why it didn't work out.

What? I like to be asked
questions, too.

Dr. Murphy, you can leave
if you want.

I can finish up here.

[EXHALES]

"Sut-ure" self.

[MILES] Oh, my God,
that was bad.

Listen, I would love
to finish our talk,

maybe grab a drink?

The vending machine has
a pretty decent Powerade.

What do you say?

Sure,
but the first round's on me.

Deal.

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

Your friend said not to let
your looks deceive me,

because, for a hot guy,
you're actually pretty smart.

Did she really, now?

- Huh.
- But not like

Steve Kornacki-smart.

Like, you don't read
The Economist or anything.

Oh.

Well, uh...

You know what they say.
You read one The Economist,

you've read 'em all, am I right?

[CHUCKLES]

♪ ♪

Uh, I... need to go
put out a fire.

But I will be back.

Excuse me.

'Kay.

Hey.

Saw you and Jorge
had a little tiff.

[WHIRRING]

So, uh,

can I offer you
some sage advice?

Okay, you can't call
your own advice "sage."

Come on. You haven't
even heard it yet. Look,

I get that you play things close
to the vest.

Okay? But I've known Jorge
since he was 19.

He is a larger-than-life guy,

and he's just handed his giant
beating heart over to you.

So, every now and again,

he is gonna need
a larger-than-life gesture

to know that you are gonna
take care of it.

Acts of service, bro.

That is his love language.

You better become fluent in it.

♪ ♪

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

- So, Mexican, huh?
- [CHUCKLES] Uh-huh.

That explains all
the New Year's Eve traditions.

Oh, you didn't even see
half of them.

We have, um, the undies,

the money in the shoes...

Oh, tell me more
about these undies.

Well...

yellow underwear means
you're hoping for money,

and, uh, red underwear means
you're hoping for love.

So what color are you wearing?

♪ I can't deny it ♪

♪ I can't deny it ♪

Red. Wow.

[CHUCKLES]

♪ I can't deny it...

- [PHONE CHIMES]
- Just sent you a little text.

♪ Yeah...

Oh.

- Oh.
- Yeah.

A penis.

Yeah, it's mine.

What does no underwear mean?

I'm sorry, you just have
this picture on deck?

Is that, like, your move, bro?

'Cause it's pretty pathetic
and disrespectful.

Says the slut who
just showed me her underwear.

Hey.

Ow. Shit!

Is that cinnamon? That burns.

- Lil, are you okay?
- Back the fuck up.

Don't touch me, you fucking fag.

- Are you crazy?
- [GRUNTS]

- [GROANING]
- [GASPING]

[DAPHNE] What the f...

Oh, my God. Santi,

you can't just be punching
people at my event.

I can when they say words
like that.

[DAPHNE] Okay. Go.

- You good?
- Yeah.
- Get up.

- Go.
- I'm sorry.
Thanks for inviting me.

[DAPHNE] Okay, everyone!
No big deal!

Just carry on and shots for all!

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

Who's losing
their CinGin-ity tonight?

- Having fun, 'kay?
- [HENRY] Uh, excuse me,
everyone.

Uh, can I have
your attention, please?

I, uh, have something
I need to say to someone here.

In front of everyone.

Uh, I am not a grand gesture
kind of guy, but...

I love you, Jorge Diaz,
and I don't care who knows it.

[EXHALES]

[INHALES]

♪ You're just too good
to be true ♪

♪ Can't take my eyes off
of you ♪

♪ You'd be like heaven
to touch ♪

♪ I want to hold you so much ♪

♪ At long last,
love has arrived ♪

♪ And I thank God I'm alive ♪

♪ You're just too good
to be true ♪

♪ Can't take my eyes off
of you ♪

♪ I love you, baby ♪

♪ And if it's quite all right ♪

♪ I need you, baby ♪

- ♪ To warm the ♪♪
- No. No, it is not all right!

There will be no karaoke
tonight!

We're just trying to get
to midnight!

Fuck.

I need a cigarette.

- Scuse me.
- [HENRY EXHALES]

Fine. Guess I'll do this
the old-fashioned way.

♪ ♪

[LIGHT WHOOPING]

Look, it takes me a minute
to introduce people to my mom,

and I'm not exactly out at work

because I like
to keep the details

- of my personal life personal.
- Mm.

But you have come along

and changed all of that.

You live your life out loud,
in, like...

4K HDR.

Yeah, I don't know
what that means,

but keep going.

[CHUCKLING]

I-If you need grand gestures,

I will happily oblige.

Make no mistake,

I'm all in.

Because I fucking love you,
Jorge Diaz.

[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]

I love you, too.

And if you need me
to be more subdued...

[INHALES]

I-I cannot do that.

So, mm...

[LAUGHING]

- [CLAPPING]
- [WHOOPING]

[EXHALES]

[GROANS]

[CHUCKLES]

Happy New Year, babe.

[EXHALES]

Happy New Year.

Ooh, I think
that flan hit wrong.

[EXHALES]

♪ ♪

[INHALES]

[EXHALES]

[EXHALES]

[INHALES]

♪ You could've had it all...

You know,

tonight's been really fun.

Do you feel like continuing
the celebration at my place?

[JORGE] Lil. Oh.

What are you doing?

- [LAUGHING]
- Wait, careful. Careful.

Oh, my God. Be careful.

Oh, damn.

Oh.

♪ Waiting on you ♪

♪ Where my queens at...

- [LAUGHS]
- Lil, are you sure
that you're okay? Really.

I mean, seeing a pic
of that dick's dick

must have been really...

"trauma-dick."

- [LAUGHING]
- Okay? [LAUGHS]

- Good one, babe.
Good one, babe.
- [CHUCKLES]

It wasn't that good,
but he needs the win.

Hey. [CHUCKLES]

- Would you guys just wait
the 30 seconds?
- I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

I keep forgetting that
you don't have a midnight kiss.

No. You know what? I'm good!

Seriously.
Tonight really woke me up.

I've been doing
this whole thing totally wrong.

I don't need a guy or a hookup.

What I need is to be alone

- and to focus on myself.
- [OTHERS] Ten!

- Yeah.
- And that is how I will
truly get myself ready

- for my person. Yeah!
- Yeah!

- You do you!
- [LAUGHS]
- Four!

- Three!
- Oh!

Two! One!

- Happy New Year!
- [CHEERING]

[♪ "AULD LANG SYNE"]

♪ ♪

♪ Oh... ♪

♪ Oh, some sweet day ♪

♪ You're gonna miss me ♪

♪ Miss me every day ♪

♪ You're gonna need me ♪

♪ Need me...

Hey, happy New Year, man.

Aw, thanks, bro. Happy New Year.

Not you. I'm on the phone.

Oh.

♪ Your day ♪

♪ Your love has gone astray ♪

♪ Then you're gonna miss me ♪

-♪ Oh, oh, some sweet day ♪
-♪ Some sweet day ♪

♪ Oh... ♪

♪ Oh, some sweet day ♪

♪ I gave my love to you ♪

♪ A love ♪

Hey, buddy. You seem
a little blue. You all right?

♪ That you betrayed ♪

Actually, uh, yeah...

No. No, no, still on the phone.

♪ You don't need me ♪

♪ Oh, the games we play ♪

♪ Luck ♪

♪ Be with you all the time...

I hope it was for a good reason.

[EXHALES]

This is why I don't do parties.

[EXHALES]

Know what'll help?

That 25-year-old Lagavulin
you won't shut up about.

That'll do the trick. [CHUCKLES]

Would it be okay
if I kissed you?

That would be...

very okay.

Got to say, this is the best
first date I've ever been on.

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

Me, too.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Oh... ♪

♪ Oh, some sweet day ♪

♪ You're gonna miss me ♪

♪ Miss me every day ♪

♪ You're gonna need me ♪

♪ Need me every way ♪

♪ When you had your day ♪

♪ Your love has gone astray ♪

♪ Then you're gonna miss me ♪

-♪ Oh, oh, some sweet day ♪
-♪ Some sweet day ♪

♪ Oh... ♪

♪ Oh, some sweet day ♪

♪ I gave my love to you ♪

♪ A love that you betrayed ♪

♪ Now you say
you don't need me ♪

♪ Oh, the games we play ♪

♪ Luck ♪

♪ Be with you all the time ♪

♪ In all of the day ♪

♪ And then who will it be ♪

- ♪ Oh, some ♪
- ♪ Some ♪♪

[KIDS] GloNation! Yay!