Wiseguy (1987–2009): Season 3, Episode 20 - Meltdown - full transcript
McPike and Lococco help Volchek come to grips with his family's legacy while Vinnie moves to stop the illegal dumping of hospital wastes.
- [Narrator] Tonight on Wiseguy.
- You don't know who
you're screwing with.
- Death be not proud,
you've had it, baby.
- Vince didn't make
it clear to you
that the idea is to
bring down Volchek?
- The only thing he made clear
was that he was
calling in his marker.
- Sorry boys, you
missed the boat.
- This investigation has cost me
the best agent I
ever worked with.
- I am become the world.
Destroyer of death.
- This isn't an
investigation anymore, Frank.
This is The Gong Show.
- Geez, I wish Vince was here.
- [Dan] Vinny can stay lost
as long as he wants to.
(dramatic theme music)
- [Narrator]
Previously on Wiseguy.
- Vinny's gone, he
snapped, he took my car.
- You owe me and I'm
calling to collect.
- What are you doing here?
- I'm repaying a
debt to a friend.
- Is that debt repaid
when Mark's destroyed?
- Helmut Zimbrick is
coming here tomorrow.
- He's been selling permits
for health facilities for years.
- A deal's taking
place at Gorslava.
Volchek wants me to
bug the transaction.
He wants to run this up
tonight when he calls.
- Go.
- State Attorney
General's office.
Mr. Zimbrick is
under investigation
for conspiracy to
misappropriate state licenses.
Mr. Volchek is
suspected of duplicity.
- On what basis?
Better take what you got.
Don't be greedy.
- The sky is falling,
everything sucks.
I've ruined Lynchboro.
- I was just trying to do
what's right for the town.
- What's right for the town
(laughing)
is predestined, it's halfwits
and selfish people
who want a Volchek at the wheel.
They don't give a
damn about his needs,
or even who he is.
- If I bring him in on anything,
this town'll shrivel up and die.
And Vince?
- Absolutely nothing, buddy.
- We'll contract the
removal of waste materials
from hospitals and
other health facilities.
- And I wanna be
paid cash up-front.
- [Kousakis] You show
up here in the morning
and I'll pay you for
the previous day's work.
(relaxed theatrical music)
(sirens wailing)
(groaning)
(upbeat TV theme music)
- Oh, crud.
(water droplets splashing)
(upbeat TV theme music)
(knocking)
- Open up in there!
- What do you want?
- 402.
You are paid up through tonight.
- Yeah, so what?
- Were you planning on
extending your stay?
- You plan on
turning on the heat?
- You stay past tonight, pal,
I want some scratch,
or your stuff
winds up out in the street!
Capisce?
- Come on!
Stick, you miserable--
- I want my money
from yesterday.
- Come in.
I'm a man of my word.
Now get to work, the
truck is waiting.
- You know what
happens to that stuff
that we take out
of the hospitals?
- Yeah.
You take it to the
dump, and you dump it.
- Yeah, the bags break
open half the time.
The stuff goes
down into the sewer
and into the water system.
- Get to work!
- There is a school right
down the street from the dump.
The sewer carries that
stuff right past it.
These kids are
getting sick from it.
- Listen, Norton.
I don't pay you
to look in sewers.
You take your money,
you cart the stuff,
and you shut your mouth!
I'll worry about
the water system.
- Oh.
I'm sorry.
Sorry to bother you.
(shouting)
- You don't know who
you're screwing with.
I got friends, connected
up, my friends.
(fist thudding)
(shouting)
- Now you listen to me.
You can screw all
of your friends,
'cause you don't know
who you're messing with.
So long, tricksy.
- You'll be sorry you did this.
You just made big
trouble for yourself,
that you won't see the end.
(solemn theatrical music)
- You sabotaged a
federal investigation
at its most critical point.
Vince didn't make it
clear to you that the idea
is to bring down Volchek?
- The only thing he made clear
was that he was
calling in his marker.
That is the only reason I
left the happy purgatory
that I established for myself.
But I got eyes of my own, Frank,
and I can see that
to bring Volchek down
would've been a
monumental mistake.
- This investigation has
cost me the best agent
I ever worked with, not to
mention a friend for life.
I wanna get something
out of this thing.
- Is that what
it's about, Frank?
Getting someone?
No matter how meaningless
his criminality,
or the impact on the
people around him?
To cut Volchek off from these
people without preparing them
would be like trying to ween--
- We are cops, we're
not social workers!
Jeez, I wish Vince was here.
- I am not a cop, Frank,
and I am not your wayward son
come home to beg forgiveness,
and I do not need to hear
recitation of my sins,
the gravest of which
is not being Vinny.
Now when this is over, I
am out of here like a shot,
but I am not gonna
leave this town
knowing that the people of
this town, the good people
of this town, are worse
off than when I came.
And if your being a policeman
blinds you to that fact,
then you have no
business being one.
And for whatever it's
worth, and not that I
particularly care, I
think Vinny would've done
exactly the same thing I did
for exactly the same reason.
- What are we gonna do?
- You're here because Volchek
thinks that he bought you.
I'm here because you bought me.
There's only one
person in this play
whose motives he
cannot reduce to money.
(scoffs)
- You really are crazy.
I'm not bringing
Lacey into this.
- She's already in it, Frank.
- She knows about the OCB?
- She thinks that
Vinny's just a cop.
She doesn't even
know his real name.
Volchek has told her that
you're a Fed on the take.
He thinks you're
still on his side,
but she knows the truth.
She reasons deductively.
Who the Hell else in this town
is a Fed gonna be interested in?
- What if she tells Volchek?
- She won't.
- And how can you be sure?
- She knows what
control means to him.
He welcomed three
strangers to his town,
he places them in
position of trust,
and is duped by all three.
The camel's back is broken
as soon as he finds out.
She's gonna protect him from
that as long as she can.
She's our only ally, Frank.
- The kids need their daddy,
is what it amounts to.
And you're here
to take him away!
That is what you're here for.
- That does not matter now.
Volchek is up at Gorslava in
a diminished emotional state.
The man lost his
hospital, his dream,
the only thing that
kept him going.
Now the question is how
to best deal with him
to suit his needs
and your town's.
- You mean you're
not gonna arrest him?
- It's looking less
and less likely.
- He's still in
control of the town,
but he's not in
control of himself.
Now he has to be
made to realize that,
and be willing to give up
the mantle of leadership,
give it back to the people
who always had a right
to it anyway, even if
they don't know it.
- So are you gonna help us?
- He's a compassionate
man, Frank.
He really does care about this
town and the people in it.
He'll listen to reason.
He's not beyond that.
- Death has no dominion.
It did, but it sure as
Hell doesn't anymore.
Washington, Honest
Abe, Jefferson,
Chester A. Arthur.
Sorry boys, you missed the boat.
Volchek Institute of Cryonics.
Death be not proud,
you've had it, baby.
For them, the people, my
people, Daddy and Gramps,
VIC lives, and through
it you too will live.
Take what I'm offering
you, people of Lynchboro.
You ingrates!
VIC is coming whether
you want it or not.
I want it, I want!
The greatest gift of all, and
you spit it back in my face.
No wonder a pickup and
a six-pack is your idea
of upward mobility.
What the Hell could be
better than life eternal?
Season tickets on the 50?
Take away my hospital, but
you can't take away my dream.
Life, life!
I am become the world.
Destroyer of death.
I am become the world,
destroyer of death.
I am become the world,
destroyer of death.
(screaming)
- Who the Hell is this guy?
HES is poisoning our kids.
On your letterhead.
Don't you check these
guys out before you
put 'em on the payroll?
- What's to check out?
He's a drifter, he's
living hand to mouth.
He went batty on me this morning
over the way I do business.
The son of a bitch
stole my watch.
- If he's blowing you into me,
who else is on his mailing list?
- I'm taking care of it.
He won't be sending
any more letters.
- Make sure that he doesn't.
I don't want your drifter
drifting into my office.
- I want you to find a guy.
- [Pawn Broker] 1,800 dollars.
- That is a $10,000 watch.
- Not to me it ain't.
I can get these all day.
- I tell you what.
1,850 and trade for that
Bowie knife right there.
Huh?
- 1,800 for the watch.
Take it or leave it.
- I tell you what,
throw in the golf clubs,
just the golf clubs.
Come on.
- Athlete, huh?
Okay, we got a deal.
Do yourself a favor, okay?
Don't drink it all.
Get yourself a hot meal.
- I know where my boy is.
He's right out here.
He's in Seattle, that
makes perfect sense to me.
What doesn't make
sense is that now
I'm supposed to use
the tools given to me
to stalk mobsters and
lowlifes, to find my friend.
It sucks!
I know I have to do it
but I don't want to.
- Are you afraid of
what you might find?
- Look, what he did,
he did for a reason.
I may not know what that
reason is, but I sure as Hell
understand the
overwhelming need to bolt.
Now see, if I go after him,
it's like telling a guy he
can't take care of himself.
- Oh, you're being too
hard on yourself, Dan.
You just wanna find him
because he's your friend.
You don't wanna see
him make a mistake,
you don't wanna see him hurt.
- The mistake's
been made, alright?
And he is a survivor.
Vinny can stay lost as
long as he wants to.
- Look, you admit that
his defenses are up.
I mean, anybody's would be.
And maybe he's even crossed
over into some kind of paranoia
or something, knowing
he's being hunted down.
- See, that's part of
the reason why I think
he's right under our
nose, right here.
I'm not saying he
wants to be found,
but maybe he feels he
can control the hunt
if he's closer in.
See, he's the kid that
runs away from home,
spends the afternoon
hiding under the stoop,
listening to the search
going around him.
- You don't have to corner him.
You just have to find him.
- I don't wanna watch this
movie again, I've seen it.
I'm not gonna glean
anything new from it, except
a headache from
a different lobe.
- G. Gordon Liddy
feared rats as a child.
He ate one to beat that fear.
Volchek fears death,
he watches this movie.
- Oh it's good to see you
again, my homicidal friends.
- Couldn't we just eat rats?
(phone ringing)
Oh, my God.
- [Man On TV] It's an
old-fashioned story,
full of gallantry.
- The more I think
about it, the more sense
it makes to me, Frank.
- Well if you
think it's Seattle,
get the aforenamed in Seattle.
- The best thing that
could happen for all of us
is that we find him first.
I have to question
the tactic of hunting
him down like a dog.
- No one is hunting
him down like a dog.
There's a lot of people's
safety at stake here,
not the least of
which is Vince's.
Now he has to be
found, it's our duty.
- You know that what's
going on in his head
has absolutely nothing
to do with the OCB.
Now we owe it to him to let
him work it out for himself
and come back to
us when he's ready.
- Well what if he doesn't
know when he's ready?
Who knows what's
goin on in his mind.
- Well if that's the case, who
better to find him than us?
- I just said that, I know that.
I know that.
I just don't wanna be here.
It'd be better if I was there
with you, looking for him.
- Well then wrap it
up, get on a plane.
I could use a
support group myself.
- Alright, I'll call.
You give me a call if
there's a sighting.
- Hey, you know I will.
(light string music)
(dramatic string music)
(crashing)
(grunting)
- You tell Kousakis the next
guy he sends gets better.
Nice watch.
- 800 bucks.
- Sold.
(laughing)
- How's your short game?
- What?
- Around the greens.
The golf clubs.
- Oh.
Well I'm getting pretty
good with the five iron.
- Listen, you didn't
hear this from me.
You come across a blue face
Ebel, 18 karat, I can
move a few of those.
- I'll keep that in mind.
Thanks.
- Go to him, Krull.
Remind him of something
he said to me once,
that his affliction
came not from God above
nor from the fiend below, but
from within his own heart,
his own brain, his own soul.
His cure came from
within him too.
All he needs is the knowledge
that he was his own healer.
Without that, he is doomed.
(dramatic theatrical music)
- Master, I'm very sorry,
but I missed him.
The train had already left.
- There.
That's it.
That's the line he's hung up on.
- Master, I'm very sorry,
but I missed him.
The train had already left.
- If Krull had come back
and told Smiley the truth,
he'd be rid of his demons
and enjoying his money.
- That's what's
wrong with Volchek?
- See, this movie is a way
for him to control death.
He can start and
stop it at will.
Now what we need to do
is change the ending.
I mean, if Krull had come
back and said hey, Baron,
babe, lighten up, you
know, it's only a mistake,
we'd be out of here.
- Oh, come on.
And besides, the film
doesn't end that way.
Even if you are right,
after the thousands of hours
that this guy's
watched this thing,
it has made indelible
impressions on his mind
that you're never gonna change.
- [LoCocco] Yes we are.
We're gonna scare
the crap out of him.
- How are we gonna do that?
- Well.
Maybe you can use Bobby Lambert.
- Who's Bobby Lambert?
- Bobby Lambert?
- He's a local kid who went nuts
because his sweetheart was
about to earn her wings
here at the parlor.
He tried to kill Volchek,
Vince stopped him,
led Volchek to believe
that he killed Bobby
to protect Volchek.
We've had him in a safe house
until the investigation is over.
- This isn't an
investigation anymore, Frank.
This is The Gong Show.
Hey, Donny.
Yeah, listen, I want you to
go up to the high school,
get all the laboratory
equipment you can,
and meet me up at Gorslava.
And bring a lab coat.
(laughing)
- Oh no.
- Oh yeah.
Vinny the doc.
- And I'm definitely
not gonna kill a dog.
- If this'll help,
some of the girls
keep things around
here to kind of make
'em feel more at home.
(dramatic theatrical music)
- I saw Krull and a dog.
- You'll see many such dogs
before I'm finished, Baron.
- Let me tell you
something, Buckwheat,
this is stupid, it's nuts,
and it's not gonna work.
- It's gonna work, Frank,
because this time Krull's
gonna come through
for Baron von Dentures.
- And why do I
have to play Krull?
- Would you rather play Maude?
- There is a
healing of the flesh
and a healing of the spirit.
You have said, Baron,
that shock was the factor
that brought your face
to its present condition.
Do you remember?
- Yes.
- Then perhaps shock
may be your cure.
Shock, combined with
medical science.
(dramatic theatrical music)
Now I will leave you alone,
as you were in that
grave years ago.
- How long?
- As long as is necessary.
Krull.
(dramatic theatrical music)
- [Baron] No, not like this.
Not like this, not in the dark!
Not in the dark!
- Sir Robert!
- I thought we'd seen
the last of you, Krull.
- [Krull] You must
return, Sir Robert.
He needs you.
- [Robert] Impossible,
we would miss the train.
- But you do not understand,
he cannot open his mouth.
- Nonsense.
- It's true.
He cannot speak, he
cannot eat or drink.
I'm a strong man, and
with my own two hands
I tried to pry his jaws
apart, but I could not.
He'll starve,
he'll die horribly.
- He will not die, Krull.
You must tell him simply that
he can open his mouth himself.
- But you are his healer.
- I did not heal him.
The fluid I injected
into his face
was nothing more
than distilled water.
- Water?
But the tropical plant,
all the experiments,
all the dogs!
- An elaborate
show, nothing more.
The dogs did not die,
they were merely drugged.
I had to make the Baron think
that I was preparing a new
and powerful medication.
- I still do not understand.
- Go to him, Krull.
Remind him of something
he said to me once,
that his affliction
came not from God above,
nor from the fiend below, but
from within his own heart,
his own brain, his own soul.
His cure came from
within him too.
- But he needs--
- All he needs is the knowledge
that he was his own healer.
Without that, he is doomed.
- Yes, yes.
Oh, I see.
- Then go at once and tell him.
- Yes.
I will.
(mysterious theatrical music)
(dramatic theatrical music)
Master.
(electricity zapping)
- No, not like this.
Not in the dark.
Hello?
Mister electricity?
Hello, mister fuse box?
Hello?
Aah.
(circuit breakers clicking)
McPike?
McPike?
What are you doing
with that dog?
Whose dog is that?
McPike?
- No.
- No?
LoCocco!
Something's wrong with McPike.
Your boss is losing it,
right there in the hallway.
- No.
- What do you mean no?
What's wrong with you people?
What's McPike doing?
- I saw Krull and a dog.
- What?
- I saw Krull and a dog.
- Sir Robert?
- Tell us what's happening
on the London stage.
- Maude?
Have you all come
to play with me?
- What is that
strange instrument?
- It's a new invention.
It's called a hypodermic needle.
- No, no.
That's my line, Baron.
- Oh, sorry, Sir Robert.
No one's ever come
to play before.
- Well we're here now.
(mysterious theatrical music)
- [Volchek] No, not like
this, not like this!
Not in the dark!
- Don't get ahead of
yourself, Buckwheat.
I asked not to be disturbed.
(clears throat)
- I saw Krull and a dog.
- You'll see many such dogs
before I'm through, Baron.
Krull, tie him to that chair.
- Is this necessary?
- It's for your own good.
There may be a violent reaction.
- Shouldn't I be staring
across at my father,
whose grave I have defiled?
- License is necessary,
respect for the dead.
- Ooh!
(dramatic theatrical music)
- Now we leave you alone.
- How long?
- As long as is necessary.
(mysterious theatrical music)
(door creaking)
(door clicking shut)
(dramatic theatrical music)
- No.
Not like this.
Not like this!
Not in the dark!
Aah!
(screaming)
- Your cue, Buckwheat.
- Oh, God.
He is dead, you've killed him.
(door slams)
(mysterious theatrical music)
- The trauma of
what has happened
has caused his mouth
to remain closed tight.
It will relax to its
normal state in a few days.
(dramatic theatrical music)
- I hate doing this.
- I thought we'd seen
the last of you, Krull.
- Sir Robert, you must return.
He needs you.
- Impossible.
We'd miss our train.
- No, you don't understand.
He cannot open his mouth, he
cannot eat, he cannot drink.
He will die a horrible death.
- He will not die.
You must go to him
and simply tell him
he can open his
own mouth himself.
- But you are his healer?
- I did not heal him.
The fluid I injected
into his face
was nothing more
than distilled water.
- Sir Robert, the
dogs, the experiments?
- An elaborate show.
The dogs did not die,
they were merely drugged.
Go to him, Krull.
Tell him something
he once told me,
that his affliction was
not caused by God above
nor the fiend below,
but by his own heart,
his own brain, and his own soul.
(dramatic theatrical music)
- Sir Robert says there
is nothing wrong with you.
You can open your
mouth if you want.
Mmm-hmm.
Hmm!
It was all an elaborate show.
The truth is inside you.
You're a free man.
Do you mind if I join you?
You know, through all
the years of servitude,
I've come to realize
you're not such a bad guy.
So for this eye thing,
I'm gonna forgive you.
You're not eating.
- What are you doing?
That's not how it ends!
- Sure it is.
- I've seen this
film a million times.
You're supposed to lie to me.
- No.
- You cover your eye,
remembering the pain
I once inflicted on
you, and then lie
about missing Sir Robert
at the train station.
- No, got there on time.
- No, what is this?
Either you're playing
the game or you're not.
Lacey, tell them, tell
them they're wrong.
- But they're not wrong, Mark.
- I know this movie cold.
I know how it ends,
it ends in disaster.
Sardonicus stares at
his father, whose grave
he has defiled, and then
suffers the consequences
of his sins.
He doesn't get off this easy.
- He does this time.
- No!
He pays for his sins!
Lacey, tell them to stop this.
This isn't fun.
Get rid of 'em.
No Merrick, I mean,
just remove them from
my personal space.
- This time it's true.
The truth has
always been in you.
- No!
No!
I know how it ends,
I know how it ends!
He pays, he pays and pays!
He doesn't get off.
He lives with his sins.
He takes them to his grave!
I gotta get out of here,
I can't breathe!
- Mark!
- Let him go.
- Not like this!
Not in the dark!
No!
Not like this, not in the dark!
Bobby?
(dramatic theatrical music)
(birds chirping)
(light orchestral music)
- As documented,
and by the power
invested in me as a
Baronic Lord of the Land,
I do irrevocably and
forever annul my marriage
with one who was no
wife to me and for whom
I now have neither need nor use.
Sardonicus.
- I'm so glad Bobby's alive.
It was a terrible trick,
but I suppose McPike
had his reasons.
- I'm leaving, Mark.
- It's over.
I'm free now.
- Mark, listen to me.
I'm leaving Lynchboro.
- What?
You can't.
This is your home,
this is where you live.
I need you.
- You said it yourself.
You're free now.
- Yes, but not from you.
I don't wanna be free from you.
- But I kept you imprisoned.
- No.
No.
You helped me to see the truth.
- I helped to blind you.
I knew that this
belief in cryonics,
and your father's
dream of a dynasty,
that was your vulnerability.
I saw that vulnerability
and I exploited it.
I kept you weak because
it kept me strong.
- Julie.
You've helped me.
The lessons that
I've learned from you
are too great to
hold on to anger.
I have the power
not to fear death,
but to celebrate life.
(laughing)
- You've always had that, Mark.
- Yes.
Yes, I can see that now.
I don't wanna waste
another minute.
There's something I've gotta do!
Honor thy father.
Alright, I'll do it.
I'll continue to do it as
I've done all these years.
But you know what, Daddy?
I'll never make a son of mine
honor me like this.
I'll keep you alive.
You are presumptuous
enough to think
that you had a right
to eternal life.
Why?
You were a domineering
son of a bitch.
And I allowed you to
perpetuate your dominance
from inside this
nitrogenized cigar tube.
(keypad beeping)
(gasses hissing)
(machine beeping rapidly)
Be gone, Daddy!
(gasses hissing)
(machine beeping rapidly)
(keypad beeping)
(gasses hissing)
(machine beeping rapidly)
Be gone, Gramps.
(gasses hissing)
He wouldn't let my
mother be preserved
because she wasn't a Volchek.
The dynasty flow to
the men, he said.
The bearers of the
sons were immaterial,
one just as good as another.
How strange it is to feel reborn
wile standing in
your father's tomb.
How strange and how wonderful!
(gasses hissing)
- What is it?
- I never grieved for them.
When they died, I didn't grieve
because I knew I'd
be seeing them again.
Reverend Adams congratulated me
on the strength of my
religious convictions,
but I didn't have the heart
to tell him it was cryonics.
Now they're truly dead,
and at my hand.
Patricide!
- You didn't kill them.
Death can't be cheated,
not even by Volcheks,
but life can be.
And they cheated you of yours.
They can't do that anymore.
- McPike playing Krull.
(laughing)
(machine beeping rapidly)
What day is this?
- The 17th, Sunday.
- Sunday!
There's still time.
- What for?
- Donny will make a good Sheriff
as long as he keeps that
chip on his shoulder.
- That's assuming Sweeney
don't rip his head
off this morning.
(laughing)
- Donny's fast.
He'll do okay if he
lets Sweeney chase him.
Sweeney's got no legs.
We'll see you guys around.
- I appreciate you
having been here.
(phone ringing)
- Lynchboro Sheriff's office.
- LoCocco.
I'm glad I caught you.
I didn't get a chance
to thank you last night.
Is McPike with you?
- He's right here.
- Good, I wanna thank him too.
I can thank everyone
at once, even Rogo.
(clears throat)
- What're you talking about?
- Bring them up to the
mill as fast as you can.
(dial tone ringing)
I'm gonna become part
of the community.
I can hardly wait.
Yee-ha!
- Donny Wolovik has
requested this rematch
with our champion Mike Sweeney.
(audience applauding)
We all admire you, Donny.
We can take comfort in the words
of the immortal Hemingway,
a man can be destroyed
but not defeated.
As you know, we can't start
until Mr. Volchek arrives,
so if we could
just bow our heads
for a moment's
silent reflection.
- Here I am.
This is not your day,
Donny, it's mine.
Okay, Mike.
Let's hit hard and watch
the good things happen.
Come on.
Let's get started.
(fists thudding)
- Oh!
(crowd cheering)
(crowd cheering)
(fists thudding)
Oh, this is crazy.
(crowd cheering)
(fists thudding)
- [Man In Crowd]
Come on, Mr. Volchek!
- Mark, stay down.
You let this go on, Lacey?
- He's having the
time of his life.
(crowd cheering)
(fist thudding)
(fists thudding)
(crowd jeering)
- [Man In Crowd] Kiss
that one goodbye.
- He's not getting up.
- What a shot.
(dramatic theatrical music)
- Mark.
Mark, hey.
Hey.
Stay down, stay down.
(laughing)
- I always wanted
somebody to beat me up.
(laughing)
No one ever would.
- Thank you.
- This was my final act
as Lord of Lynchboro.
My blood is red,
it isn't blue, it's red,
just like all of you.
You all grew up believing
that you owed the Volcheks.
Well the fact is
that we owe you.
And starting today, I'm
gonna start paying you back.
Volchek Mining and
Logging will now be known
as Lynchboro Mining and Logging.
It will no longer be
a private company.
It will go public,
and stock options
will be divided
among all of its employees.
(crowd applauding)
Full scholarships to
the State University
for all the former employees
of the Tranquility Parlor.
We're all family.
So it's only natural that,
with you as my witnesses,
I ask the former Lacey Marsay,
Miss Julie Johnson,
to be my wife,
(crowd applauding)
and that you all
come up to Gorslava
for the wedding,
if she'll have me.
(crowd applauding)
I probably owe you
everything I have,
but what I'd really like to
give you is my friendship.
Tell me how.
- You already have, my friend.
(crowd applauding)
- Not to be personal,
but are you gonna marry him?
- He's on a cloud.
When he comes back down to
Earth, we'll talk about it.
- Well, Roger, you were.
- LoCocco told me
to give you this.
- [LoCocco] Frank,
when you find Vince,
tell him we're even.
Goodbye, Buckwheat.
- We ain't gonna come after ya.
We're on the clock.
We're gonna wait for
ya as long as it takes.
(dramatic theatrical music)
We're gonna wait for
ya as long as it takes.
We're gonna wait for
ya as long as it takes.
(dramatic theatrical music)
(gunshots firing)
(dramatic theatrical music)
(dramatic theme music)
(inspirational orchestral music)
- You don't know who
you're screwing with.
- Death be not proud,
you've had it, baby.
- Vince didn't make
it clear to you
that the idea is to
bring down Volchek?
- The only thing he made clear
was that he was
calling in his marker.
- Sorry boys, you
missed the boat.
- This investigation has cost me
the best agent I
ever worked with.
- I am become the world.
Destroyer of death.
- This isn't an
investigation anymore, Frank.
This is The Gong Show.
- Geez, I wish Vince was here.
- [Dan] Vinny can stay lost
as long as he wants to.
(dramatic theme music)
- [Narrator]
Previously on Wiseguy.
- Vinny's gone, he
snapped, he took my car.
- You owe me and I'm
calling to collect.
- What are you doing here?
- I'm repaying a
debt to a friend.
- Is that debt repaid
when Mark's destroyed?
- Helmut Zimbrick is
coming here tomorrow.
- He's been selling permits
for health facilities for years.
- A deal's taking
place at Gorslava.
Volchek wants me to
bug the transaction.
He wants to run this up
tonight when he calls.
- Go.
- State Attorney
General's office.
Mr. Zimbrick is
under investigation
for conspiracy to
misappropriate state licenses.
Mr. Volchek is
suspected of duplicity.
- On what basis?
Better take what you got.
Don't be greedy.
- The sky is falling,
everything sucks.
I've ruined Lynchboro.
- I was just trying to do
what's right for the town.
- What's right for the town
(laughing)
is predestined, it's halfwits
and selfish people
who want a Volchek at the wheel.
They don't give a
damn about his needs,
or even who he is.
- If I bring him in on anything,
this town'll shrivel up and die.
And Vince?
- Absolutely nothing, buddy.
- We'll contract the
removal of waste materials
from hospitals and
other health facilities.
- And I wanna be
paid cash up-front.
- [Kousakis] You show
up here in the morning
and I'll pay you for
the previous day's work.
(relaxed theatrical music)
(sirens wailing)
(groaning)
(upbeat TV theme music)
- Oh, crud.
(water droplets splashing)
(upbeat TV theme music)
(knocking)
- Open up in there!
- What do you want?
- 402.
You are paid up through tonight.
- Yeah, so what?
- Were you planning on
extending your stay?
- You plan on
turning on the heat?
- You stay past tonight, pal,
I want some scratch,
or your stuff
winds up out in the street!
Capisce?
- Come on!
Stick, you miserable--
- I want my money
from yesterday.
- Come in.
I'm a man of my word.
Now get to work, the
truck is waiting.
- You know what
happens to that stuff
that we take out
of the hospitals?
- Yeah.
You take it to the
dump, and you dump it.
- Yeah, the bags break
open half the time.
The stuff goes
down into the sewer
and into the water system.
- Get to work!
- There is a school right
down the street from the dump.
The sewer carries that
stuff right past it.
These kids are
getting sick from it.
- Listen, Norton.
I don't pay you
to look in sewers.
You take your money,
you cart the stuff,
and you shut your mouth!
I'll worry about
the water system.
- Oh.
I'm sorry.
Sorry to bother you.
(shouting)
- You don't know who
you're screwing with.
I got friends, connected
up, my friends.
(fist thudding)
(shouting)
- Now you listen to me.
You can screw all
of your friends,
'cause you don't know
who you're messing with.
So long, tricksy.
- You'll be sorry you did this.
You just made big
trouble for yourself,
that you won't see the end.
(solemn theatrical music)
- You sabotaged a
federal investigation
at its most critical point.
Vince didn't make it
clear to you that the idea
is to bring down Volchek?
- The only thing he made clear
was that he was
calling in his marker.
That is the only reason I
left the happy purgatory
that I established for myself.
But I got eyes of my own, Frank,
and I can see that
to bring Volchek down
would've been a
monumental mistake.
- This investigation has
cost me the best agent
I ever worked with, not to
mention a friend for life.
I wanna get something
out of this thing.
- Is that what
it's about, Frank?
Getting someone?
No matter how meaningless
his criminality,
or the impact on the
people around him?
To cut Volchek off from these
people without preparing them
would be like trying to ween--
- We are cops, we're
not social workers!
Jeez, I wish Vince was here.
- I am not a cop, Frank,
and I am not your wayward son
come home to beg forgiveness,
and I do not need to hear
recitation of my sins,
the gravest of which
is not being Vinny.
Now when this is over, I
am out of here like a shot,
but I am not gonna
leave this town
knowing that the people of
this town, the good people
of this town, are worse
off than when I came.
And if your being a policeman
blinds you to that fact,
then you have no
business being one.
And for whatever it's
worth, and not that I
particularly care, I
think Vinny would've done
exactly the same thing I did
for exactly the same reason.
- What are we gonna do?
- You're here because Volchek
thinks that he bought you.
I'm here because you bought me.
There's only one
person in this play
whose motives he
cannot reduce to money.
(scoffs)
- You really are crazy.
I'm not bringing
Lacey into this.
- She's already in it, Frank.
- She knows about the OCB?
- She thinks that
Vinny's just a cop.
She doesn't even
know his real name.
Volchek has told her that
you're a Fed on the take.
He thinks you're
still on his side,
but she knows the truth.
She reasons deductively.
Who the Hell else in this town
is a Fed gonna be interested in?
- What if she tells Volchek?
- She won't.
- And how can you be sure?
- She knows what
control means to him.
He welcomed three
strangers to his town,
he places them in
position of trust,
and is duped by all three.
The camel's back is broken
as soon as he finds out.
She's gonna protect him from
that as long as she can.
She's our only ally, Frank.
- The kids need their daddy,
is what it amounts to.
And you're here
to take him away!
That is what you're here for.
- That does not matter now.
Volchek is up at Gorslava in
a diminished emotional state.
The man lost his
hospital, his dream,
the only thing that
kept him going.
Now the question is how
to best deal with him
to suit his needs
and your town's.
- You mean you're
not gonna arrest him?
- It's looking less
and less likely.
- He's still in
control of the town,
but he's not in
control of himself.
Now he has to be
made to realize that,
and be willing to give up
the mantle of leadership,
give it back to the people
who always had a right
to it anyway, even if
they don't know it.
- So are you gonna help us?
- He's a compassionate
man, Frank.
He really does care about this
town and the people in it.
He'll listen to reason.
He's not beyond that.
- Death has no dominion.
It did, but it sure as
Hell doesn't anymore.
Washington, Honest
Abe, Jefferson,
Chester A. Arthur.
Sorry boys, you missed the boat.
Volchek Institute of Cryonics.
Death be not proud,
you've had it, baby.
For them, the people, my
people, Daddy and Gramps,
VIC lives, and through
it you too will live.
Take what I'm offering
you, people of Lynchboro.
You ingrates!
VIC is coming whether
you want it or not.
I want it, I want!
The greatest gift of all, and
you spit it back in my face.
No wonder a pickup and
a six-pack is your idea
of upward mobility.
What the Hell could be
better than life eternal?
Season tickets on the 50?
Take away my hospital, but
you can't take away my dream.
Life, life!
I am become the world.
Destroyer of death.
I am become the world,
destroyer of death.
I am become the world,
destroyer of death.
(screaming)
- Who the Hell is this guy?
HES is poisoning our kids.
On your letterhead.
Don't you check these
guys out before you
put 'em on the payroll?
- What's to check out?
He's a drifter, he's
living hand to mouth.
He went batty on me this morning
over the way I do business.
The son of a bitch
stole my watch.
- If he's blowing you into me,
who else is on his mailing list?
- I'm taking care of it.
He won't be sending
any more letters.
- Make sure that he doesn't.
I don't want your drifter
drifting into my office.
- I want you to find a guy.
- [Pawn Broker] 1,800 dollars.
- That is a $10,000 watch.
- Not to me it ain't.
I can get these all day.
- I tell you what.
1,850 and trade for that
Bowie knife right there.
Huh?
- 1,800 for the watch.
Take it or leave it.
- I tell you what,
throw in the golf clubs,
just the golf clubs.
Come on.
- Athlete, huh?
Okay, we got a deal.
Do yourself a favor, okay?
Don't drink it all.
Get yourself a hot meal.
- I know where my boy is.
He's right out here.
He's in Seattle, that
makes perfect sense to me.
What doesn't make
sense is that now
I'm supposed to use
the tools given to me
to stalk mobsters and
lowlifes, to find my friend.
It sucks!
I know I have to do it
but I don't want to.
- Are you afraid of
what you might find?
- Look, what he did,
he did for a reason.
I may not know what that
reason is, but I sure as Hell
understand the
overwhelming need to bolt.
Now see, if I go after him,
it's like telling a guy he
can't take care of himself.
- Oh, you're being too
hard on yourself, Dan.
You just wanna find him
because he's your friend.
You don't wanna see
him make a mistake,
you don't wanna see him hurt.
- The mistake's
been made, alright?
And he is a survivor.
Vinny can stay lost as
long as he wants to.
- Look, you admit that
his defenses are up.
I mean, anybody's would be.
And maybe he's even crossed
over into some kind of paranoia
or something, knowing
he's being hunted down.
- See, that's part of
the reason why I think
he's right under our
nose, right here.
I'm not saying he
wants to be found,
but maybe he feels he
can control the hunt
if he's closer in.
See, he's the kid that
runs away from home,
spends the afternoon
hiding under the stoop,
listening to the search
going around him.
- You don't have to corner him.
You just have to find him.
- I don't wanna watch this
movie again, I've seen it.
I'm not gonna glean
anything new from it, except
a headache from
a different lobe.
- G. Gordon Liddy
feared rats as a child.
He ate one to beat that fear.
Volchek fears death,
he watches this movie.
- Oh it's good to see you
again, my homicidal friends.
- Couldn't we just eat rats?
(phone ringing)
Oh, my God.
- [Man On TV] It's an
old-fashioned story,
full of gallantry.
- The more I think
about it, the more sense
it makes to me, Frank.
- Well if you
think it's Seattle,
get the aforenamed in Seattle.
- The best thing that
could happen for all of us
is that we find him first.
I have to question
the tactic of hunting
him down like a dog.
- No one is hunting
him down like a dog.
There's a lot of people's
safety at stake here,
not the least of
which is Vince's.
Now he has to be
found, it's our duty.
- You know that what's
going on in his head
has absolutely nothing
to do with the OCB.
Now we owe it to him to let
him work it out for himself
and come back to
us when he's ready.
- Well what if he doesn't
know when he's ready?
Who knows what's
goin on in his mind.
- Well if that's the case, who
better to find him than us?
- I just said that, I know that.
I know that.
I just don't wanna be here.
It'd be better if I was there
with you, looking for him.
- Well then wrap it
up, get on a plane.
I could use a
support group myself.
- Alright, I'll call.
You give me a call if
there's a sighting.
- Hey, you know I will.
(light string music)
(dramatic string music)
(crashing)
(grunting)
- You tell Kousakis the next
guy he sends gets better.
Nice watch.
- 800 bucks.
- Sold.
(laughing)
- How's your short game?
- What?
- Around the greens.
The golf clubs.
- Oh.
Well I'm getting pretty
good with the five iron.
- Listen, you didn't
hear this from me.
You come across a blue face
Ebel, 18 karat, I can
move a few of those.
- I'll keep that in mind.
Thanks.
- Go to him, Krull.
Remind him of something
he said to me once,
that his affliction
came not from God above
nor from the fiend below, but
from within his own heart,
his own brain, his own soul.
His cure came from
within him too.
All he needs is the knowledge
that he was his own healer.
Without that, he is doomed.
(dramatic theatrical music)
- Master, I'm very sorry,
but I missed him.
The train had already left.
- There.
That's it.
That's the line he's hung up on.
- Master, I'm very sorry,
but I missed him.
The train had already left.
- If Krull had come back
and told Smiley the truth,
he'd be rid of his demons
and enjoying his money.
- That's what's
wrong with Volchek?
- See, this movie is a way
for him to control death.
He can start and
stop it at will.
Now what we need to do
is change the ending.
I mean, if Krull had come
back and said hey, Baron,
babe, lighten up, you
know, it's only a mistake,
we'd be out of here.
- Oh, come on.
And besides, the film
doesn't end that way.
Even if you are right,
after the thousands of hours
that this guy's
watched this thing,
it has made indelible
impressions on his mind
that you're never gonna change.
- [LoCocco] Yes we are.
We're gonna scare
the crap out of him.
- How are we gonna do that?
- Well.
Maybe you can use Bobby Lambert.
- Who's Bobby Lambert?
- Bobby Lambert?
- He's a local kid who went nuts
because his sweetheart was
about to earn her wings
here at the parlor.
He tried to kill Volchek,
Vince stopped him,
led Volchek to believe
that he killed Bobby
to protect Volchek.
We've had him in a safe house
until the investigation is over.
- This isn't an
investigation anymore, Frank.
This is The Gong Show.
Hey, Donny.
Yeah, listen, I want you to
go up to the high school,
get all the laboratory
equipment you can,
and meet me up at Gorslava.
And bring a lab coat.
(laughing)
- Oh no.
- Oh yeah.
Vinny the doc.
- And I'm definitely
not gonna kill a dog.
- If this'll help,
some of the girls
keep things around
here to kind of make
'em feel more at home.
(dramatic theatrical music)
- I saw Krull and a dog.
- You'll see many such dogs
before I'm finished, Baron.
- Let me tell you
something, Buckwheat,
this is stupid, it's nuts,
and it's not gonna work.
- It's gonna work, Frank,
because this time Krull's
gonna come through
for Baron von Dentures.
- And why do I
have to play Krull?
- Would you rather play Maude?
- There is a
healing of the flesh
and a healing of the spirit.
You have said, Baron,
that shock was the factor
that brought your face
to its present condition.
Do you remember?
- Yes.
- Then perhaps shock
may be your cure.
Shock, combined with
medical science.
(dramatic theatrical music)
Now I will leave you alone,
as you were in that
grave years ago.
- How long?
- As long as is necessary.
Krull.
(dramatic theatrical music)
- [Baron] No, not like this.
Not like this, not in the dark!
Not in the dark!
- Sir Robert!
- I thought we'd seen
the last of you, Krull.
- [Krull] You must
return, Sir Robert.
He needs you.
- [Robert] Impossible,
we would miss the train.
- But you do not understand,
he cannot open his mouth.
- Nonsense.
- It's true.
He cannot speak, he
cannot eat or drink.
I'm a strong man, and
with my own two hands
I tried to pry his jaws
apart, but I could not.
He'll starve,
he'll die horribly.
- He will not die, Krull.
You must tell him simply that
he can open his mouth himself.
- But you are his healer.
- I did not heal him.
The fluid I injected
into his face
was nothing more
than distilled water.
- Water?
But the tropical plant,
all the experiments,
all the dogs!
- An elaborate
show, nothing more.
The dogs did not die,
they were merely drugged.
I had to make the Baron think
that I was preparing a new
and powerful medication.
- I still do not understand.
- Go to him, Krull.
Remind him of something
he said to me once,
that his affliction
came not from God above,
nor from the fiend below, but
from within his own heart,
his own brain, his own soul.
His cure came from
within him too.
- But he needs--
- All he needs is the knowledge
that he was his own healer.
Without that, he is doomed.
- Yes, yes.
Oh, I see.
- Then go at once and tell him.
- Yes.
I will.
(mysterious theatrical music)
(dramatic theatrical music)
Master.
(electricity zapping)
- No, not like this.
Not in the dark.
Hello?
Mister electricity?
Hello, mister fuse box?
Hello?
Aah.
(circuit breakers clicking)
McPike?
McPike?
What are you doing
with that dog?
Whose dog is that?
McPike?
- No.
- No?
LoCocco!
Something's wrong with McPike.
Your boss is losing it,
right there in the hallway.
- No.
- What do you mean no?
What's wrong with you people?
What's McPike doing?
- I saw Krull and a dog.
- What?
- I saw Krull and a dog.
- Sir Robert?
- Tell us what's happening
on the London stage.
- Maude?
Have you all come
to play with me?
- What is that
strange instrument?
- It's a new invention.
It's called a hypodermic needle.
- No, no.
That's my line, Baron.
- Oh, sorry, Sir Robert.
No one's ever come
to play before.
- Well we're here now.
(mysterious theatrical music)
- [Volchek] No, not like
this, not like this!
Not in the dark!
- Don't get ahead of
yourself, Buckwheat.
I asked not to be disturbed.
(clears throat)
- I saw Krull and a dog.
- You'll see many such dogs
before I'm through, Baron.
Krull, tie him to that chair.
- Is this necessary?
- It's for your own good.
There may be a violent reaction.
- Shouldn't I be staring
across at my father,
whose grave I have defiled?
- License is necessary,
respect for the dead.
- Ooh!
(dramatic theatrical music)
- Now we leave you alone.
- How long?
- As long as is necessary.
(mysterious theatrical music)
(door creaking)
(door clicking shut)
(dramatic theatrical music)
- No.
Not like this.
Not like this!
Not in the dark!
Aah!
(screaming)
- Your cue, Buckwheat.
- Oh, God.
He is dead, you've killed him.
(door slams)
(mysterious theatrical music)
- The trauma of
what has happened
has caused his mouth
to remain closed tight.
It will relax to its
normal state in a few days.
(dramatic theatrical music)
- I hate doing this.
- I thought we'd seen
the last of you, Krull.
- Sir Robert, you must return.
He needs you.
- Impossible.
We'd miss our train.
- No, you don't understand.
He cannot open his mouth, he
cannot eat, he cannot drink.
He will die a horrible death.
- He will not die.
You must go to him
and simply tell him
he can open his
own mouth himself.
- But you are his healer?
- I did not heal him.
The fluid I injected
into his face
was nothing more
than distilled water.
- Sir Robert, the
dogs, the experiments?
- An elaborate show.
The dogs did not die,
they were merely drugged.
Go to him, Krull.
Tell him something
he once told me,
that his affliction was
not caused by God above
nor the fiend below,
but by his own heart,
his own brain, and his own soul.
(dramatic theatrical music)
- Sir Robert says there
is nothing wrong with you.
You can open your
mouth if you want.
Mmm-hmm.
Hmm!
It was all an elaborate show.
The truth is inside you.
You're a free man.
Do you mind if I join you?
You know, through all
the years of servitude,
I've come to realize
you're not such a bad guy.
So for this eye thing,
I'm gonna forgive you.
You're not eating.
- What are you doing?
That's not how it ends!
- Sure it is.
- I've seen this
film a million times.
You're supposed to lie to me.
- No.
- You cover your eye,
remembering the pain
I once inflicted on
you, and then lie
about missing Sir Robert
at the train station.
- No, got there on time.
- No, what is this?
Either you're playing
the game or you're not.
Lacey, tell them, tell
them they're wrong.
- But they're not wrong, Mark.
- I know this movie cold.
I know how it ends,
it ends in disaster.
Sardonicus stares at
his father, whose grave
he has defiled, and then
suffers the consequences
of his sins.
He doesn't get off this easy.
- He does this time.
- No!
He pays for his sins!
Lacey, tell them to stop this.
This isn't fun.
Get rid of 'em.
No Merrick, I mean,
just remove them from
my personal space.
- This time it's true.
The truth has
always been in you.
- No!
No!
I know how it ends,
I know how it ends!
He pays, he pays and pays!
He doesn't get off.
He lives with his sins.
He takes them to his grave!
I gotta get out of here,
I can't breathe!
- Mark!
- Let him go.
- Not like this!
Not in the dark!
No!
Not like this, not in the dark!
Bobby?
(dramatic theatrical music)
(birds chirping)
(light orchestral music)
- As documented,
and by the power
invested in me as a
Baronic Lord of the Land,
I do irrevocably and
forever annul my marriage
with one who was no
wife to me and for whom
I now have neither need nor use.
Sardonicus.
- I'm so glad Bobby's alive.
It was a terrible trick,
but I suppose McPike
had his reasons.
- I'm leaving, Mark.
- It's over.
I'm free now.
- Mark, listen to me.
I'm leaving Lynchboro.
- What?
You can't.
This is your home,
this is where you live.
I need you.
- You said it yourself.
You're free now.
- Yes, but not from you.
I don't wanna be free from you.
- But I kept you imprisoned.
- No.
No.
You helped me to see the truth.
- I helped to blind you.
I knew that this
belief in cryonics,
and your father's
dream of a dynasty,
that was your vulnerability.
I saw that vulnerability
and I exploited it.
I kept you weak because
it kept me strong.
- Julie.
You've helped me.
The lessons that
I've learned from you
are too great to
hold on to anger.
I have the power
not to fear death,
but to celebrate life.
(laughing)
- You've always had that, Mark.
- Yes.
Yes, I can see that now.
I don't wanna waste
another minute.
There's something I've gotta do!
Honor thy father.
Alright, I'll do it.
I'll continue to do it as
I've done all these years.
But you know what, Daddy?
I'll never make a son of mine
honor me like this.
I'll keep you alive.
You are presumptuous
enough to think
that you had a right
to eternal life.
Why?
You were a domineering
son of a bitch.
And I allowed you to
perpetuate your dominance
from inside this
nitrogenized cigar tube.
(keypad beeping)
(gasses hissing)
(machine beeping rapidly)
Be gone, Daddy!
(gasses hissing)
(machine beeping rapidly)
(keypad beeping)
(gasses hissing)
(machine beeping rapidly)
Be gone, Gramps.
(gasses hissing)
He wouldn't let my
mother be preserved
because she wasn't a Volchek.
The dynasty flow to
the men, he said.
The bearers of the
sons were immaterial,
one just as good as another.
How strange it is to feel reborn
wile standing in
your father's tomb.
How strange and how wonderful!
(gasses hissing)
- What is it?
- I never grieved for them.
When they died, I didn't grieve
because I knew I'd
be seeing them again.
Reverend Adams congratulated me
on the strength of my
religious convictions,
but I didn't have the heart
to tell him it was cryonics.
Now they're truly dead,
and at my hand.
Patricide!
- You didn't kill them.
Death can't be cheated,
not even by Volcheks,
but life can be.
And they cheated you of yours.
They can't do that anymore.
- McPike playing Krull.
(laughing)
(machine beeping rapidly)
What day is this?
- The 17th, Sunday.
- Sunday!
There's still time.
- What for?
- Donny will make a good Sheriff
as long as he keeps that
chip on his shoulder.
- That's assuming Sweeney
don't rip his head
off this morning.
(laughing)
- Donny's fast.
He'll do okay if he
lets Sweeney chase him.
Sweeney's got no legs.
We'll see you guys around.
- I appreciate you
having been here.
(phone ringing)
- Lynchboro Sheriff's office.
- LoCocco.
I'm glad I caught you.
I didn't get a chance
to thank you last night.
Is McPike with you?
- He's right here.
- Good, I wanna thank him too.
I can thank everyone
at once, even Rogo.
(clears throat)
- What're you talking about?
- Bring them up to the
mill as fast as you can.
(dial tone ringing)
I'm gonna become part
of the community.
I can hardly wait.
Yee-ha!
- Donny Wolovik has
requested this rematch
with our champion Mike Sweeney.
(audience applauding)
We all admire you, Donny.
We can take comfort in the words
of the immortal Hemingway,
a man can be destroyed
but not defeated.
As you know, we can't start
until Mr. Volchek arrives,
so if we could
just bow our heads
for a moment's
silent reflection.
- Here I am.
This is not your day,
Donny, it's mine.
Okay, Mike.
Let's hit hard and watch
the good things happen.
Come on.
Let's get started.
(fists thudding)
- Oh!
(crowd cheering)
(crowd cheering)
(fists thudding)
Oh, this is crazy.
(crowd cheering)
(fists thudding)
- [Man In Crowd]
Come on, Mr. Volchek!
- Mark, stay down.
You let this go on, Lacey?
- He's having the
time of his life.
(crowd cheering)
(fist thudding)
(fists thudding)
(crowd jeering)
- [Man In Crowd] Kiss
that one goodbye.
- He's not getting up.
- What a shot.
(dramatic theatrical music)
- Mark.
Mark, hey.
Hey.
Stay down, stay down.
(laughing)
- I always wanted
somebody to beat me up.
(laughing)
No one ever would.
- Thank you.
- This was my final act
as Lord of Lynchboro.
My blood is red,
it isn't blue, it's red,
just like all of you.
You all grew up believing
that you owed the Volcheks.
Well the fact is
that we owe you.
And starting today, I'm
gonna start paying you back.
Volchek Mining and
Logging will now be known
as Lynchboro Mining and Logging.
It will no longer be
a private company.
It will go public,
and stock options
will be divided
among all of its employees.
(crowd applauding)
Full scholarships to
the State University
for all the former employees
of the Tranquility Parlor.
We're all family.
So it's only natural that,
with you as my witnesses,
I ask the former Lacey Marsay,
Miss Julie Johnson,
to be my wife,
(crowd applauding)
and that you all
come up to Gorslava
for the wedding,
if she'll have me.
(crowd applauding)
I probably owe you
everything I have,
but what I'd really like to
give you is my friendship.
Tell me how.
- You already have, my friend.
(crowd applauding)
- Not to be personal,
but are you gonna marry him?
- He's on a cloud.
When he comes back down to
Earth, we'll talk about it.
- Well, Roger, you were.
- LoCocco told me
to give you this.
- [LoCocco] Frank,
when you find Vince,
tell him we're even.
Goodbye, Buckwheat.
- We ain't gonna come after ya.
We're on the clock.
We're gonna wait for
ya as long as it takes.
(dramatic theatrical music)
We're gonna wait for
ya as long as it takes.
We're gonna wait for
ya as long as it takes.
(dramatic theatrical music)
(gunshots firing)
(dramatic theatrical music)
(dramatic theme music)
(inspirational orchestral music)