Wiseguy (1987–2009): Season 2, Episode 11 - Stairway to Heaven - full transcript

When Frank learns his wife is going to die, Vinnie uses the money LoCocco left him to get a lifesaving transplant.

- [Announcer]
Tonight on Wiseguy.

(dramatic music)

- My wife.

- What's wrong with Jenny?

- She dying Vinnie.

- That makes her ineligible for

a transplant under
our insurance.

- You mean to tell
me that the OCB

is just gonna turn
its back on Frank?

- $1,250,000.00,

I tell you I need money



and the next morning,
there's a million in change

in non-sequential bills in
the front seat of my car.

Now doesn't that seem a
little coincidental to you?

- Where would I get
that kind of money?

- That's what I'm
here to find out!

(dramatic music)

(knocking loudly)

(breathing heavily)

- Who is it?

- [Frank] Vince open the door.

- What happened to you?

- Can I come in?

- Yeah, yeah.

(coughing heavily)



- Well, if you tell me
what you're looking for,

maybe I can help you.

- You have anything
to drink in here?

Ah, there you are.

- Ah.

Frank, Mr. Bosley
the egg man gave us

that three years
ago for Christmas.

Probably ready to
peel paint by now.

(banging loudly)

- Why are you staring at me?

- I never had ringside seats
to a fool festival before.

- What's the matter with you?

Give me that.

- I guess I'm a
little drunk, Vinnie.

- Yeah.

- I'm a little drunk.

Here you take it, take it.

I don't believe
alcohol and driving mix

and sure as hell don't believe
firearms and alcohol mix.

Ugh.

Oh, Vinnie.

I never could drink.

- What's wrong Frank?

- There's nothing wrong.

If there was something wrong,

I could take care of it myself.

- You don't have to
bite my head off.

I'm just trying to help.

- I'm not biting you head off!

- Frank, it's two
o'clock in the morning.

It's an hours drive to Jersey.

Why don't you tell
me what's wrong?

- My wife,

she collapsed with
internal bleeding

this morning while she
was emptying the dryer.

Drake found her.

- Is she alright?

- Vinnie, oh God.

And I hate hospitals.

I hate the sounds.

I hate the smells.

I hate the colors of it.

I break into a cold sweat
every time I get near one.

You know, my old man
died a slow death.

Maybe I associate loss and
lack of control with hospitals.

I don't know.

You know what shrinks
say about guys like us?

They say we become cops because
we want to be in control.

- Frank, what's
wrong with Jenny?

- Control.

She dying, Vinnie.

You know what it's
like to watch somebody

you love disintegrate
by the day?

- Well, what did
the doctors say?

- Smoldering hepatitis.

What the hell is
smoldering hepatitis?

This insidious little
beauty that eats

away at the liver and then
it begins on the brain.

When the liver can't filter
the toxins in the body anymore,

it causes periods of confusion

that are similar to Alzheimer's.

Jenny loses her
ability to think.

She can't remember to wash

and comb her hair,
change her clothes.

Ah.

She gets lost going places
she's gone to for years.

She wears a little
bracelet Vinnie,

so people can call
me when she's lost

and I can come and get her.

- Have she seen any specialists?

I don't know, I'm sorry,
that was a stupid question.

I'm sorry.

- There's an outside chance that

a liver transplant
could save her life.

- Well then, do it.

- It's the money, Vinnie.

I don't have the money.

- Frank, what are
you talking about?

You're a Federal Agent.

The government has
great health benefits.

- Not for liver disease,
accelerated by alcoholism,

it doesn't.

- Jenny's an alcoholic?

- It's not something
we're proud of.

Been in good clinics,
I've had her in AA.

I thought we had it licked.

- Well Vinnie, you're
telling me that

nobody will do anything for her?

- The operation cost
$250,000 plus maintenance.

And even if I was covered,

we'd be at the bottom of
the list as recipients,

'cause she's a 40
year old alcoholic.

I sat in my car outside
of a savings and loan.

And I couldn't do it.

I couldn't do it (crying).

I'm sorry.

Jenny's gonna die

and I'm gonna sit there
and I'm gonna watch it.

I'm sorry Vince.

I shouldn't have come to
you house with all this.

I gotta go home.

- Where's Drake?

- He's staying with
friends tonight.

- Well you're staying
with me tonight.

Get a goodnight sleep.

And we'll tackle this fresh
in the morning, alright?

Alright?

Alright, you take the couch.

- Ah!

Ah, Vinnie.

(banging loudly)

- Here ya go.

- Thanks Vince.

- Yeah.

I don't know what I'm gonna do.

(dramatic music)

- Rise and shine Frank.

Take an Admil and he's
dying for a real break...

Frank!

- I fine combed the bureau's

insurance policy top to bottom.

Frank's wife simply
doesn't qualify.

- The government's got to
be able to do something.

What about a waiver?

- The government doesn't
control the policy.

The insurance company does.

They're not about to
change the rules for us.

Not to the tun of $250,000 floor

and bills that can
reach seven figures.

(keyboard typing)

Jenny McPike's medical
records clearly indicate

that she's been
treated for alcoholism

and alcohol related illness.

That makes her ineligible under

transplant under our insurance.

- You mean to me that the OCB

is just gonna turn
its back on Frank?

- While you were
in the hospital,

we raised $22,678 in donations.

Beckstead kicked in
$11,000 of his own money.

Raglin 4,500, we're
still collecting.

We'll never get close.

(sigh heavily)

- She's all yours Mr. McPike.

- I wrote down some things
that you'll have to do.

I think it's all there.

The pallbearers and the music.

I used to joke about
playing Stairway To Heaven,

but I want church classical,
you know Bach and Brahms.

- I can't believe you did this.

- Oh, Frank I know you're not

very good at the kind of thing.

- I've given a lot of thought

and I think that Drake should
go and live with my sister.

- You what?

- I spoke to her already.

Frank, there's no way that
you can give a 12 year old boy

the attention that he needs,
with the demands of your job.

- Jenny, we'll talk
about this later.

- I'm thinking of both of you.

- Mr. and Mrs. McPike.

Hey, you look like
you're holding your own.

Bleeding stopped.

Seem to be thinking
a little clearer.

Looks like Thursday might be
a good day to let you go home.

- You'd let her go?

What about her care?

- There's nothing
we can give her here

the part time nurse
can't provide at home.

- What a second buster.

- Frank.

Thank you Dr. Orecchio,
I would like to

get out of here as
soon as possible.

- Okay.

(bell ringing)

- Hey doc.

Dr. Orecchio, can I
talk to you a minute?

- Looks like you'd be better off

talking to an
orthopedic specialist.

- Naw, it's about Jenny McPike.

- You a relative Mister?

- Terranova, no, I'm a
friend of the family.

I know she's dying.

- Want to step into my office?

- Yeah.

(bell ringing)

- Jenny McPike is
a very brave woman

who's accepted her fate.

Sometimes friends and loved
ones have a more difficult

time accepting terminal
illness of the patients.

- Ah, you're absolutely
right about that.

I'm not accepting it.

- Mr. Terranova do
you have any idea

the extent of Jenny's illness?

- No I don't.

But I do know that
she's in one of

the most foremost
hospitals in this country

and you're just sitting
there letting her die!

Now I want some
straight answers.

- You like to sail Mr.
Terranova, I love to sail.

But I don't sail anymore.

I take care of
terminally ill patients.

And even a five minute delay
can mean the difference

between a life and
death, so I don't sail.

I come in here and I
work on these models

so that I can be
closer to my patients,

but they still die.

Candidates who meet
all the requirements

and I have to go out
there in that waiting room

and tell their families there's

nothing more that
I can do for them.

Now Mr. Terranova,
I'm telling you,

at this point,
there's nothing more

that I can do for Jenny McPike.

- You can do a transplant.

- Screening process
for transplant

recipients is
meticulous, it has to be.

There are hell of a lot
more diseased livers

than healthy livers
to replace them.

We have to take a look
at all the factors.

- You mean like
medical coverage.

- Yeah, like medical coverage.

Liver transplants
cost a fortune.

- So if you don't
have the money,

you don't get the
operation, right?

- I'm not denying that
hospitals do all their biopsies

before they decide
to take patients on.

- Well aside from the money,

what are the other factors?

- Age, heredity, family support.

Transplant recipients
need a lot of care.

A lot of loving support.

Jenny is 40 years old,
she's got a lousy family

medical history and
a husband with a job

that is stressful to the family.

None of these make her
an ideal candidate.

- Who are you to
make that judgment?

- [Doctor] She's an alcoholic.

- She's a human being.

- We have young
people in these wards

waiting for young people
to die so they can live.

We can not, we will not
risk anything so valuable

as a healthy liver on a patient
with an alcoholic history.

These are hard facts that
we have to live with.

And I'll tell you
what, Mr. Terranova.

You get the state to
appoint you Solomon,

I'll give a liver
to anyone you want.

I had to look Jenny
McPike and her husband

in the eye and tell them
that I couldn't save her.

She accepted that, I
suggest you do the same.

- Is there anything you can do?

- If John D. Rockefeller
walked through that door

and donated a million
dollars to the hospital

researched center, that might
tweak somebody's attention,

but at this point, no,
there's nothing more I can do.

(soft music)

(banging loudly)

(birds chirping)

(whistle quickly)

(motor revving)

(dramatic music)

(beeping)

- [Man] Group two.

Group two, this is group two.

(dramatic music)

(knocking loudly)

- Vinnie!

- I'm coming!

- Vinnie, open up!

(banging loudly)

- What's that?

- Open it.

$1,250,000.00.

- Where did you get that?

- [Frank] You don't know?

- Naw.

- I mean you really don't know.

- No, I really don't know.

- I tell you I need money

and the next morning
there's a million

and change in
non-sequential bills

in the front seat of my car.

Now doesn't that seem a
little coincidental to you?

- But where would I
get that kind of money?

- That's what I'm
here to find out!

That is really not your money?

- No.

- Then I'm being set up!

- Oh, come on Frank,
you're not being set up.

- No, there are all
kinds of task forces

running around the capital,
trolling for dirty feds.

This is probably some kind
of ambs scam operation.

Either that or some rat
bastard druggie trying

to pay me back with
a sting of him own.

I'm being set up!

- Nobody is setting you up.

- Then where did
the money come from?

- I don't know, maybe
it fell outta the sky.

What difference does it make?

You can use this money
for your wife's operation.

- I'm not made that way Vince.

I should've turned
it into the OCB

and that's just
what I'm gonna do.

- Frank!

I put that money in your car.

If you turn it in, it
could come back on me.

- This, this, this
is (mumbles) money

from the Atlantic City casinos.

- No it's not Frank,
it's not Sonny's money.

- I need to know
where you got it.

- What difference does it make?

- It makes a difference to me.

- Alright.

Just call it my parachute.

- Roger.

- Yeah as in Roger Lococco.

This is Mel Profits money, the
case is cursed from day one.

- You know I'm wrestling with
those demons myself Frank.

We're talking about
your demons now.

- Roger gave you this
money and you kept it.

- The government hung
Roger out to dry.

Come on, you were there.

They persuaded him to leave
the invasion of the (mumbles)

and when it went bad,
they tried to crucify him.

- And you'd take
a million dollars

as the price they
should pay for that?

- If I knew the exact price,
this would've come close.

But this is my cushion Frank.

It's my insurance policy.

And you work under deep cover,

and it's real easy,
it's real easy

to get swept away
in the undertone.

But the upper echelons
of bureaucracy

they can wash their hands
with you any time they want.

They did it to Roger
and they can do it to me

if they think it
fits their needs.

Roger gave me this money to hold

and when he disappeared I
decided to hang onto it.

And I kept it because if
they decide to turn on me,

I want options.

- You are rationalizing
an illegal act.

- I don't believe
its an illegal act

unless the money was
used for illegal means.

I haven't used one
dime of this money.

I've still driving the same car.

I'm living in my mother's house.

You don't see me driving
around in a limousine

and eating at 21, do you?

- You took the money,
you kept the money,

it's in your possession.

You committed an illegal act.

And if I don't report
it, I am in collusion!

Jesus, why did
you do this to me!

- I didn't do anything to you!

Can't!

(pound loudly)

Yeah, life would be a
lot less complicated

if I didn't have this money,

but I do and I gave it to you.

And that means you're involved.

So what's it gonna be Frank?

Are you gonna turn
the money and me in?

Or are you gonna use it
for your wife's operation?

- I'm turning it in.

- Not, the hell you are!

- Take your hands off...

Take your hands off me!

(banging loudly)

I had to get away from that
money so I could think.

You know, Thomas
De Quincey said,

if once a man
indulges in murder,

soon he thinks very
little of robbing.

- We're not talking
about murder Frank.

We're talking about
saving a life.

- We're talking about a
series of illegal acts.

It's not right, Vince.

- Well, who's to
say what's right?

What's right about Khashoggi
cruising around in a (mumbles)

while a quarter of a million
people in Sudan starve.

What's right about
50,000 people in Armenia

getting killed in an earthquake.

You know there
was over a hundred

indictments in the
last administration?

Drugs in the Olympics,
AIDS infected

syringes washing up on beaches.

What's right about my brother

getting killed in
a truck, Frank?

What's right about any of it?

I'm talking about
real life here.

- The money came from
the profits, Vince.

It's drug...

- Thank you.

- It is drug money
Vince and it's a felony.

- We don't know it's drug money,

it could be munitions money
sanctioned by the government.

- That doesn't make taking
it any less of a crime.

- The real crime is
people without money

can't get the medical
attention they need.

- You are asking me to go
against everything I believe in.

- Frank.

Let's say we use the money
for Jenny's operation.

We donate a million
dollars to the

Liver Research Center
at the hospital.

If we turn that money in,
they can use it for anything.

Use it for some sleazy
South American dictator

or security fence
for Oliver North.

- It may be used
to put away some

of the crud that we go after.

- Yeah, maybe it might.

But I'm making a
moral judgment here

that that money is
best used for Jenny.

(instrumental music)

I say it's the individual's
duty to make tough decisions

so as long as he's willing
to stick by those decisions.

Now I'm willing
to do that Frank.

What about you?

You mean to tell me that you've
never done anything illegal?

Not even a little bit?

You never ran a stop sign?

Never tuned up your
income tax a little bit?

Were you born perfect?

- Wasn't born perfect,
I'm far from perfect.

- Uh, must've done
something illegal.

- I smoked dope.

- Naw.

(laughter)

- I went to college
nights, but I went college.

I was a normal kid.

You never tried it?

- No, I still got my eye
on the Supreme Court.

- I only did it a
couple of times.

It made me paranoid.

(laughter)

It did, it made me paranoid.

- I don't believe you.

- Anyway I stopped when
I found out the Greenbelt

Police Force
required a polygraph.

- Oh so you took the polygraph?

- [Frank] Yeah.

- What happened?

- Kind of fooled the machine.

I never felt like I was a user

so the machine
registered negative.

- Well, there you are.

- Vince, you can't
equate to taking this

money with the
indiscretions of youth.

- No, no I can't.

But I didn't take
that money, Frank.

It was given to me.

I just didn't pass
it along, that's all.

Frank.

I'll go along with
whatever you want to do.

- I always wanted to be a cop.

You know Jenny and I were high
school sweethearts together.

Same dreams, same ideals.

I don't know what I thought.

I work hard through school,

get a job with
the police agency.

Life would be a breeze.

Nice whole weekends together.

Trips to Ray Hovert beach.

I loved the beach.

(soft music)

I had no ideas what the
demands of the job were.

Cases don't know weekends.

The first couple
times I saw her drunk,

I wrote it off an an aberration.

I didn't know about the
coffee cups filled with Vodka

that was strategically
placed about the house.

The liquor bills paid in cash.

(soft music)

I didn't know until the
doctor told me she had

liver disease and
she was an alcoholic.

(soft music)

Vinnie,

I still see her as a
fresh faced bright eyed

high school sophomore with
all her dreams ahead of her.

Boy, I was the
guy that was gonna

make those dreams come true.

(soft music)

Now she's dying.

- Frank,

take the money.

- Doctor, I'd like to thank you

for taking the time to see me.

I want one last try of
getting my wife some help.

- You have to understand
that your wife is not

one of the fortunate who meets

eligibility standards
for a donor organ.

What's this?

- That's a donation for
your research facility.

- Mr. McPike, I know
you're a federal agent.

Might you feel that scalp of
a renown hospital administer

would look good come
funding review time?

- I am not setting you up.

- What would you think?

- I think my wife is sick.

- Federal reserve
funds are drying up.

Look I can't guarantee anything.

The rules aren't
etched in stone.

There's been special
considerations in the past.

- And Jenny will
get the operation?

- To keep this facility running,

I've had to make some
very unusual deals.

Some of my colleagues would call

them compromising or sell outs.

I don't give a flying
crap what they call them.

I'll do anything to save lives.

- Jenny's name will
be put on the list?

- Mr. McPike,
there's no guarantee

she'll survive the operation.

- Yes, sir,

that I know.

(bell ringing)

- What did you do, Frank?

- I didn't do anything.

- Damnit, yes you did.

I don't know what kind of
federal weight you threw around,

but I know you did something.

Damn!

(crying lowly)

I had resigned myself to dying,

I had accepted this.

Now, if they find
me another liver,

I've got to deal
with the possibility

of living or dying
all over again.

Damn you, Frank (crying)!

- Pull up a board, have a seat.

How did soccer practice go?

- Fine.

- Did you score any goals?

Ah, that's right, you're
a defense man are you?

- Mom's been wanting a
gazebo for a long time.

- It's the job, buddy.

I wanted to finish
this since last summer.

- I know.

Maybe sometime you can show
me how to build a gazebo.

(birds chirping)

- I'll show you how to
build a gazebo right now.

As soon as we finish
this fine sandwich.

(phone ringing)

McPike.

Yes sir, thank you.

They have a new liver
for your mother.

- They're gonna take
another human beings liver

and put it inside me.

Somebody who was living and
breathing just hours ago.

Somebody who had a
family and dreams.

- So you both know the
chances for survival.

- Whose liver am I getting?

- It's not important.

- Oh it is to me, I wanna know.

- It belongs to a 19
year old Georgetown co-ed

who was killed on a DC beltway
at 4:16 this afternoon.

The donor organ will be at

the airport in a
matter of minutes,

so we're gonna have
to get her downstairs.

Why don't we give them a minute.

- Where's Drake?

- Mrs. Harmon is
staying with him.

- This has been hardest on him.

He's really an emotional boy.

You should get to
know him Frank.

- I know him Jenny, he's my son.

- Takes more than chromosomes
to be connected to somebody.

- You know, I know
I was gone a lot,

but I spent my fair
share of sleepless

nights with him
when he was sick.

I even changed a few
diapers in my time.

Yeah, a few, yeah you were
a good provider Frank.

And I know you meant well.

It's just your damn
sense of duty that

kept you this far from
being human being.

- I did my best.

- Did you Frank?

- I thought I did.

I realize now, I
could've done more.

- Well me too.

I could've done a lot better.

Somewhere along the line,

I just started feeling
sorry for myself.

Do you think anybody
could say that

they did everything
exactly right?

- Your mother.

(laughter)

- Frank,

if I don't make it
you should remarry.

You should, you need somebody
around to pick up the pieces

for you, both physically
and psychologically.

Be good to Drake.

(soft music)

He's really gonna need you now.

- Hey.

Ugh, she's in the recovery room.

- And.

- Ah, it's a little bit
too soon to tell yet.

I've got her on some potent
(mumbles) suppressant drugs

to help with the rejection.

At this point, kind
of a roll of the dice.

It can be days,
maybe weeks before

we know if the donor organ took.

- That's good partner.

(drilling loudly)

(phone ringing)

McPike.

Thank you doctor.

That's it big guy.

Dr. Orecchio feels like
the liver has taken.

Your mother is out of the woods.

(soft music)

- Carl, I'd like to
thank you for the money

you contributed for
Jenny's operation.

- Frank we're all happy
that Jenny is doing so well.

- Thank you.

- I gather this
isn't a social visit.

- No sir,

Vince and I are here
to turn ourselves in

for misuse of government funds.

- What did you do Frank, fudge
on your gas mileage check?

- I used money confiscated in

a case to get Jenny
her operation.

I knew I was
committing a felony.

A chargeable offense and I
went ahead and used it anyway.

- How much money are
we talking about here?

- $1,250,000.00

- Where did you get
this $1,250,000.00?

- I got it.

From Roger Loccoco.

- It was Loccoco's money?

- Naw, he took it from
Mel and Susan Profit.

He took it so our government
could replace (mumbles)

dictator with one they
could pull the strings on.

- And you didn't like what
the government was doing

so you took the
money for yourself.

- I didn't take it,
Roger gave it to me.

- Vince turned the
money over to me

and I used it for
Jenny's operation.

- Now, wait a minute Frank.

I have full culpability in this.

- Mel and Susan Profit.

Those names have
a familiar ring.

The other name was Roger?

- Loccoco, L-o-c-c-o-c-o.

(keyboards clicks)

- As far I can tell, the
Profit case is closed.

As far as the
government is concerned,

there is no Roger Loccoco.

- What are you talking about?

- The money you're talking
about doesn't officially exist.

(dramatic music)

And

this meeting never took place.

(dramatic music)

It'll be better for
everyone involved,

if that's the way it stands.

Frank,

you've been a good
friend and a good agent.

The bureau is giving
you some time off

to be with your wife
during her recovery.

How much more of this
non-existent money

do you have agent Terranova?

- What do ya think?

I say we did a pretty good job.

- Mom's really gonna like it.

- I hope so.

Let's leave this mess

and take on a Super
Mario Brothers again.

- Alright.

Dad I'm sorry mom's sick,

but I'm happy to be
hanging out with you.

- I'm happy to be
hanging out with you too.

I'm gonna be around a
lot more from now on.

And you are gonna teach me
about some of that soccer.

- Awesome!

- Now listen buddy, your mom
is gonna need us both now.

- I know, I've kind
of been studying up.

Once mom's body
accepts the new liver,

it's the psychological
stuff that's the hard part.

- You know, I am
learning a lot from you.

- Yeah?

- Yeah.

(hospitals bells)

- Oh, ah.

Oh thanks.

(kiss smack)

- How are you feeling?

- Like new.

It's funny what oxygen will
do to the brain'll do for you.

- Ah, Dr. Orecchio
says you'll be able

to come home at the
end of the week.

- Oh, I know, I
haven't been so excited

about anything since
Drake was born.

- Ah, I'm pretty excited myself.

- Something we have
to talk about Frank.

- Yeah?

- Now I know this sounds crazy,

but when I was in surgery,

I had a vision.

- Don't worry,
Dr. Orecchio said,

it's common to have visions.

I know it's common to have
hallucinations under the knife,

but Frank there was
nothing common about this.

There I was, still alive
after hours of surgery

with this strangers
liver inside me.

I had this vision,

it was a virtual epiphany.

Frank it really,
changed my life.

- That's good, Jenny.

- It came to me with
startling clarity that

I was being saved so
that I can help others.

But in order to help others,
I had to help myself first.

Frank,

I want you out of the
house when I get home.

- You what?

- Didn't it seem strange to you,

that I just skipped
anger and denial

and settled so easily
for acceptance?

- Jenny, I love you.

- I love you too Frank,
that's why I'm letting you go.

We're both lead fuller
and better lives.

- You can't do that.

- Yes I can and I am.

I know you better
than anybody Frank.

And that is your beauty.

Frank McPike, the unbending
guardian of right.

It's impossible for
you to do anything

that is wrong by your standard.

Hah, it just came to me Frank

and I know it's
not all your fault,

but this marriage
has been killing me

one millimeter at a time.

- Jenny when we get
home, you'll have time

to think this over, you'll
feel better, you will.

- I've been thinking about
it for 19 years, Frank!

This marriage took
a liver from me.

Now you have found a
way to give me one back,

let's just call it even.

(slow country music)

(bumps loudly)

(gun fires)

(crowd talking)

(outdoors traffic)

(couple breathing heavily)

(storming loudly)

(soft music)

(upbeat music)