Wiseguy (1987–2009): Season 1, Episode 18 - Blood Dance - full transcript

- [Narrator] Tonight on Wiseguy.

- Help turn the government
over to my leadership,

and I'll restore
sanity to the country.

I am a sane man.

- That son of a bitch was
trying to hypnotize me.

And if he's Quimbanda
sect, I wanna know about it

before my face is
stuck to a voodoo doll.

- There are lots of
people who would like

to see me take
control of Ile Pavot,

and certain members
of your government

have already given
me their blessings.



- Who!
(slapping)

(exciting music)

(stirring music)

- It's quite a unique culture,

a blend of Portugeuse,
French, Brazilian,

and African influences
thrown together

on a giant poppy field in
the middle of the Caribbean.

- And what is the
principle source

of revenue for the island?

- It used to be tourism,

but people have shied
away from Ile Pavot

since Baraka took power.

We export sugar cane now.

- (scoffs) Mr. Cabra, you
don't export enough sugar



to sweeten my coffee.

- Did you know the island
was originally French?

Ile Pavot means the
Island of the Poppies.

We don't have very much sugar.

The tourists are
afraid to visit.

And Baraka owns all the
owns all the poppy fields.

Something wrong, Mr. Profitt?

- You eat too much red meat.

It's bad for the heart.

- But it's good for the soul.

And what is good for the
soul is good for the heart.

- [Mel] What do
you want from us?

- It's very simple, Mr. Profitt.

When a dictator
rapes the people,

eventually they get
rid of him, am I right?

Revolution is inevitable.

Or perhaps a coup
d'etat, correct?

I am offering a
relatively bloodless coup.

Help turn the government
over to my leadership,

and I'll restore
sanity to the country.

I am a sane man.

There are many advantages to
having a sane man in power.

- You still haven't
told me what you want.

- I need arms and a dozen top
mercenaries to lead my men.

I need $100 million to prop
up the bank of Ile Pavot.

And I need you to kill a woman.

- Arms and mercenaries
are easy to come by.

Why do you think I'd
give you $100 million

to prop up your bank?

- Ile Pavot is a
sovereign nation.

If you control the
bank of a country,

then you can control many
things outside of the country.

- Who's the woman?

- Emanja Mora.

She is my political opposition.

She is very popular
with the communists.

She escaped after Baraka
killed her family.

I have heard that she
lives here in New York,

but I don't know where.

She shouldn't be hard to find.

- Well, I'm gonna consider
your proposition, Mr. Cabra.

And in the meantime,
thank you for dinner.

We'll talk in the next few days.

My sister and I have taken
a house on Long Island.

Perhaps you'll allow us
to extend our hospitality.

- Delighted.

- It's the bank of
a soveriegn nation.

That's the key.

There are no federal
restrictions.

International agreements
can be negotiated.

We can set up our own
network of covert financing.

We'd have a lot of people
eating out of our hands.

- Did you see the
way that animal ate?

He was letting that blood
drip all over the white rice

and then sucking it up.

- He's a sloppy pig.

We won't eat with him again.

- No, no, no, he
wasn't being sloppy.

He was very meticulously

decorating his white
rice with red blood

and admiring the aesthetic.

- Mel, in our line of work,

people are sometimes known
to have a few quirks.

- He's Macumba.

It's a Brazilian spirit cult.

Did you notice how he
kept staring into my eyes,

and kept nodding his head
as we talked about business?

It's a very subtle
form of hypnosis.

- Who cares if he's
Macumba or Tonton Macoute.

You can handle him, Mel.

That's why I brought him to you.

There's a lot of
money to be made.

- What do you think, Vinnie?

- Well, I think he's
askin' us to put out a lot.

But he hasn't shown us
anything tangible yet.

I think we should wait and
see what he can really do.

- [Mel] Do you believe
in God, Vinnie?

- Yeah, sure.

- Do you believe in the devil?

- Ah, I don't know,
I don't think so.

I mean, I don't think
he's some guy with horns,

runnin' around or anything.

- Why is it so easy for people
to believe in the light,

but not in the dark?

We live in a world of disease,
squalor, global hatred.

Government leaders
lie and cheat us.

And yet everybody
believes there's a
kindly father upstairs,

but not some guy runnin'
around with horns.

- What do you believe in, Mel?

- Everything.

Do you know what Macumba is?

- No.

- It's a Brazilian
syncretic religion.

It's got very strong
African roots.

There's over 2,000 sects.

All of them are different.

Some play to the light,
and some play to the dark.

Now, I need you to find out

which sect Cabra belongs to.

- All right, Mel.

- [Mel] And find out
who that Emanja Mora is.

- Okay.

- Don't you wanna
ask any questions?

- What do you care what
sect Cabra belongs to?

- Because there's a lot
more to this universe

than Mr. Upstairs
and Mr. Downstairs.

That son of a bitch was
trying to hypnotize me.

And if he's Quimbanda sect,

I wanna know about it

before my face is
stuck to a voodoo doll

with pins being shoved
into the eyeballs!

- Who's Cabra?

- He's a minister of finance

for this little island
called Ile Pavot.

He wants Mel to
finance a coup d'etat.

- (chuckles) Well, you tell
Mel he's got my blessing.

The lunatic that
runs that asylum

is President Natzio Baraka.

There are times he makes
Idi Amin and Papa Doc

look like Ozzie and Harriet.

- Yeah, well, this Cabra's
no sweetheart either.

Mel's afraid he's puttin'
some kind of a hex on him.

- He's Macumba cult.

It's a kissing cousin
to Haitian voodoo.

They find a person's weakness
and destroy 'em mentally.

Now, Cabra and Mel get
into a blood dance,

you're in for some
excitement, Vince.

- Well, listen, Cabra wants us

to kill this woman
named Emanja Mora.

Now, she's a
political opposition.

They think she's hidin'
out here in New York.

And I need the address today.

The state'll know where she is.

I'll check it out with Lillah.

You call in to the
Lifeguard in a couple hours.

- Okay.

(telephone ringing)

- Sailor Hardware.

- Day code, sports
section, The Harold.

Trouble, arms, Mets.

- Hey, Vinnie.

Listen, I got this dope
here on Emanja Mora.

Let's see, she's 28 years old.

Here we go, currently residing
at 2309 Farrell Street.

It's in Queens.

- Okay, can I get a picture?

- It'll be in the old spot
with all of the usual details.

- All right.

All right, thanks.

I gotta go.

- Take me to 161st
and Amsterdam.

(whistling)

(low tense music)
(soft reverent chanting)

(crowd chattering)

- Excuse me.

I'm tryin' to make
this stuff, feijoada.

Can you help me out?

Excuse me, any of you
ladies speak English?

I'm tryin' to make feijoada.

Can you help me?

- [Woman] No follow ingles.

- Hey, thanks for your help.

I mean it sincerely.

Excuse me, can you help me?

You sure look like
you speak English.

Come on, Emanja.

I know went to Queens College.

I don't wanna hurt you.

I just wanna talk to you.

Can we go somewhere?

- Well, we can talk here.

- It's kind of private.

- I'm not going with you.

I don't care what
you have to say.

- Fine.

Louis Cabra wants
me to kill you.

Are you sure you still
don't wanna talk about this?

Why are you so
important to Cabra?

- I write pamphlets and
solicit aid to the rebels.

There's a strong
opposition to Baraka.

And it's growing stronger.

- Yeah, but he called you
the political opposition.

That sounds like a lot more
than a pamphlet writer.

- Well, I am more than
a pamphlet writer.

My father and brother

were the loudest anti-Baraka
voices in the country,

'til he had them killed

and their bodies dragged
through the streets.

When my mother saw the
desecrated face of her son,

she killed herself.

My voice is a very
important symbol

to the people who
suffer under Baraka.

So, are you going
to accept the job?

- No.

That's not my line
of work anyway.

Cabra wants my people
to finance a coup.

Your murder was just a side job.

(scoffing)

- So now Cabra wants it all.

And are you going
to support him?

- No.

I don't like him, and my
boss doesn't like him.

Doesn't look too good for Louie.

Well, I gotta go.

Thanks a lot, Emanja.

And listen, don't worry.

I'll make sure
you're safe, okay.

- (sighs) So,
what's the problem?

- The problem is that
damn freak Cabra.

I had Mel primed,
ready to paint.

Then Louis comes in and starts
givin' Mel the crazy eyeball.

Now Mel's obsessing on Macumba.

You fronted this
operation with a lunatic.

- We need that country,
and we need Cabra.

Make this happen.

I don't care if kill Mel
or play voodoo monkey paws.

There's a lot at
stake here, Roger.

- No kidding, Herb.

- Okay, okay, work with Susan.

She's probably the closest
thing you have to a sane ally.

And if it'll keep
Cabra's biorhythms calm,

neutralize Emanja.

- Wait a minute, Buckwheat.

I don't neutralize
innocent women.

- Innocent?

She's a Communist!

Hey, we lost Cuba,
we lost Nicaragua.

We're not gonna lose
another country!

(hand slamming)

Now, that's why you were put
into place with Mel Profitt.

Ile Pavot is run by a despot.

If we don't remove
him, the Marxists will.

(clapping)

(tense music)

- Save that horse crap for
the high school recruits, hmm.

(unsettling music)

(door slamming)

- So I followed Cabra to
this bizarre little church.

And everything was kind
of skewed to the left.

- How?

- Well, there was this
stained glass Jesus

with a little crescent
moon over him.

- A stars?

- Yeah, yeah, there
was three stars.

And the Virgin Mary
had black hair.

I don't see why she
shouldn't have black hair.

Just, it seemed kind of weird.

- That's Iemanja.

- [Vinnie] What?

- It's the Brazilian
name for the Virgin Mary.

It's also the
goddess of the sea.

Anything else?

- Yeah, there was a
lot of weird artifacts.

Black candles, stuff like that.

And, oh yeah, instead
of a white collar,

the priest was dressed
in red and black.

- That's Quimbanda.

- What's that?

- The Quimbanda sect.

You could call it the
dark side of Macumba.

Damn, that Cabra's working me!

Come here, look at this.

Look at what I found.

Look at this.

I found this in the pocket
of my dinner jacket.

Cabra must've left it there
when we said goodnight.

- Mel, it's just a cigar stub.

- I know what it is.

The Macumba smoke it as
part of their ritual.

It's, it's, it's to
change the consciousness.

It's part of the spell.

- Here, well, give it to me.

- Give it, I'll,
put the spell on me.

I'll take it.
- No, it doesn't work for you!

It's left for me!

It was meant for me!

- Mel, this garbage only
works if you believe in it.

- I know that.

But I believe in it, Vinnie.

(sighing)

Did you find Emanja Mora yet?

- Yeah, yeah.

- I want you to bring her to me.

- For what?

- She's Cabra's enemy.

Maybe she knows
how to fight him.

- Mel, she's just a simple girl.

She doesn't know anything
about this weird stuff.

- But she's from that island,
so she knows what weird is.

Do you know what
weird is, Vinnie?

This is weird.

Those are weird, at
the end of my foot.

10 of 'em, like,
like little animals.

Sometimes I wanna chop 'em off.

- [Vinnie] Emanja,
I need to see you.

- No, that's not a good idea.

- Please, Emanja,
it's important.

I wouldn't ask if it wasn't.

- What do you want from me?

- My boss wants to meet you.

We need your here.

- Vincent, please.

Don't drag me into this.

I mean, if you're going to
kill me, then just kill me.

But don't play games.

(frustrated sighing)

- Mel thinks that Louie Cabra

put some kind of a curse on him.

He wants your help.

- Look, I'm not a witch doctor.

Tell your boss to see a priest.

- Do you know what Quimbanda is?

It's a Macumba sect.

- I know what it is.

- Well, please,
Emanja, trust me.

I guarantee your safety.

(receiver clicks)
(tense music)

(sighing)

Emanja, this is my
boss, Mel Profitt.

- Tell your driver to go north

on the Cross
Atlantic Expressway.

I'll direct him from there.

- Where are we goin'?

- If you think somebody's
put a curse on you,

a medium should
help you, not me.

The Mae Nina will see you,

but she doesn't want
to speak to you.

I will interpret.

- Oh, yeah, okay.

Well, I'll just wait in the car.

- No, no, I need you here.

Please, don't leave.

(chanting in foreign language)

(soft exotic music)

(speaking in foreign language)

- She says you have been
possessed by the low spirits.

They have been called
upon to fool you.

(speaking in foreign language)

Your enemy is a goat.

- Cabra.

- He draws his power
from the goat spirit.

His center.

His soul.

- Well, what can I do?

How do I protect myself?

(speaking in foreign language)

LoCocco brought me into this,
he better pray I get out.

(unsettling music)

(speaking in foreign language)

- [Emanja] Stare at the card.

Keep staring, and relax.

(curious music)

(mystical chiming)

(speaking in foreign language)

Mae Nina says light a
blue candle every day

and pray to Sao Jao.

That's Saint John
in your church.

(unsettling music)

You must tattoo your body
with the image of a mermaid,

somewhere your enemy can see it.

The mermaid is the spirit
of the moon and the sea.

She is called Iemanja.

She is also the Virgin Mary.

You make an act of contrition.

Give money to the poor.

- Thanks.

(crowd chattering excitedly)

- [Mel] Everybody
gets a sleeping bag.

You want one, you want one?

There you go.

Everybody gets a sleeping bag.

- All right, I got one.

- Your people can control the
poppies and the heroin plant.

Exporting can be
handled by you, as well.

True vertical integration.

- For me,

your heroin

is like a pimple
on a roach's butt.

I don't want your drugs.

- That's a beautiful tattoo.

In my country, she's
called Iemanja.

The goddess of the sea.

Very powerful.

- I know.

- The heroin is
just the beginning.

With control of the bank,
you can control the politics.

The CIA would be very
grateful to use your bank

to stop the flow of communism.

- You think poor peasants
care who's ramrodding them;

the glorious flag of democracy
or the tyranny of communism?

They starve either way.

I don't want control
of your politics!

I'll make money off of your
chaos and your madness.

And I would gladly
kill any slime like you

that crosses me in business.

But I do not take sides!

(tense music)

Now, you can buy anything
you want from me,

and so can your enemies.

But I don't finance
dictators, I eat them.

(music grows suspenseful)

(screams)

- Mel's crystal is gone.

Get the men together

and comb every single
inch of these grounds.

- It's not here.

The goat took it.

- We'll find it, Mel.

Don't worry.

Roger, get the men together.

- Roger, get Paco.

We need Paco.

- Paco is dead.

You had us kill him.

- No, Paco's not dead.

It's part of the master plan.

Now, get Greeley.

Greeley, his stars are good.

He can, he can handle it.

- Greeley is dead, too.

- My soul is in that
crystal, Vinnie.

It's one

perfect

crystal.

Everything whole.

It's complete.

Please find that
crystal, Vinnie.

I can't live without a soul.

I need my soul.

- Easy, Mel. (sniffles)

Easy.

We'll find it.

- We gotta kill Tommy.

He's gonna tell on us.

He's gonna tell mom.

- This clown show is
gettin' old, Buckwheat.

(door clicking shut)

- Hey, Emanja, how you doin'?

- What, more hexes?

- No, no, it's a social visit.

- Well, I don't date
gunrunners, or murders,

or whatever you are.

- Look, actually, I have to
ask you a couple of questions.

But they're kind of personal.

Can we get outta the rain?

Why don't you come
on in the car?

Please?

Listen, that, uh, that
ceremony yesterday was, uh,

kind of, um--

- Unorthodox.

- Yeah, you could say that.

I was wonderin' how you
knew so much about it.

- Macumba is as common to
me as baseball is to you.

It's everywhere on my island.

- Hmm.

Yeah, you don't do that,

I mean, you know, you're not--

- Spiritualism is common
to every religion on Earth.

But I'm not a practitioner
of the magic arts.

I devote my prayer to
the spirit of my brother,

my father, and my dear mother.

- I'm sorry.

- (sighs) Shouldn't you be
out breaking somebody's legs

instead of terrorizing
poor island women?

- No, what I should be doin'
is lookin' for Mel's crystal.

He thinks Cabra
stole it last night

and he's goin' out of his mind.

- Power objects are very
important to those who believe.

I could tell, the way
he kept touching it,

that it was his center.

- Hey, you sound like you
really know your Macumba.

- It's not Macumba.

Power objects are
common to everyone.

You don't have something
you feel connected to?

A coin?

A rock?

Something?

- Yeah, I got this ring here.

Yeah, my mother gave it
to me when my father died.

- It's beautiful.

- Thanks.

- Mel's blowing the deal.

- Why?

- He's losing it.

He's yelling at ghosts
from his potty training.

- He's been that way before.

Susan will get him out.

- That boy's haunting
a vegetable patch,

and he ain't never comin' out.

- Well, we need
Profitt's organization.

What about Susan?

Think she can run
it without Mel?

- I don't know.

The two of 'em are
like a Chinese puzzle.

There might be some
way to separate them,

if I could just figure it out.

It's a dangerous gamble, though.

- Take it.

- (laughs) That's easy
for you to say, Herb.

- We have any other choice?

- [Emanja] You know, Vincent,

you don't seem like a
leg-breaker to me. (laughs)

- Well, I'm not.

- Well, listen,
I'd invite you up,

but my aunt doesn't like
me to bring home gangsters.

- Okay, well, I'll
see you later then.

- [Emanja] Mm-hmm.

Vincent.

(water bubbling)

(gasps)

No.

(mutters)

(gasps)

No. (sobs softly)

(screaming)

(pained yelling)

(gun banging)

- Let's get out
of here, come on.

(gun banging)

(suspenseful music)

(engine rumbling)
(tires squealing)

(gun banging)

I need McPike right now.

- No, he got called to
Washington, DC with Warfare.

What's wrong, Vinnie?

- Somebody tried to hit Emanja.

They killed her aunt.

- (sighs) You have
any idea who it was?

- Who the hell knows.

We gotta do something right now.

- All right, all right.

Calm down, Vinnie,
I'm on the case.

I'll have McPike
up here tonight.

You gotta give me
a couple of hours.

- All right, all right.

I'll take her to my
brother's church.

But get somebody out there
in 20 minutes, you got it?

- All right, I got it.

- Thanks.

(uneasy music)

This is my brother
Pete's church.

He's out of town for awhile.

But you can stay in Father
Timothy's old meditation room.

Me and Pete used to
hide out in here,

smokin' cigarettes
after choir practice.

Hey, you'll be safe in here.

- What's going to happen to me?

- I don't know.

Listen, I'll go get
you some food, okay.

You just stay here.

- No, I'm not hungry.

Stay with me for a minute?

- [Vinnie] It's
gonna be all right.

(engine rumbling)

(tires squealing)

(unsettling music)

(music turns eerie)

(faint chanting)

Hey, Louie.

That was some little dance.

- What are you talking about?

I want you out of
here right now.

- Come on, Louie.

I saw you do that little rumba
with Mickey Mouse's cousin.

Where you goin'?

Where are you goin'?

- You're making a big mistake.

- Yeah?

Well, it wouldn't
be the first time.

Now, why don't you st
tellin' me what's goin' on?

- Don't you know?

- All I know is when you show
up, things get real peculiar.

Now, somebody tried to kill
Emanja Mora, and it wasn't us.

Now, who was it?

- The CIA.

(scoffing)

(slapping)

- Now, let's try it again.

- You're a bit slow, aren't you?

- Yeah.

Yeah, why don't you try to
speed it up for me, huh?

Come on.

- There are lots of
people who would like

to see me take
control of Ile Pavot.

There's plenty of money for
fools, like you and Mel Profitt.

The people of the island

would prefer any
president to Baraka.

And certain members
of your government

have already given
me their blessings.

- Who?

Who, who?

- Roger LoCocco.

(tense music)

You cheap fool.

(crashing)

(screaming)

(glass shattering)

(tense music)

(music intensifies)

- I've seen the abyss.

I smell the stench.

I can make out muddled
people in the slime,

all naked, and faces furious.

You know, I wonder how many
up above now count themselves

as great kings.

Who will wallow here
like pigs in slime?

(faint sobbing)

- Mel.

Mel, hold on, please.

We'll find the crystal.

Hold on.

- Nothing's forever.

Every day, a little death.

We always knew.

- No!

We are forever, you and me.

We're forever.

Look at me!

Look at me.

- We always knew.

We always knew.

(ragged breathing)

(groaning)

- Mr. LoCocco.

This came for you
a few hours ago.

- Thank you.

- [Susan] He can't see you now.

- Shh.

Mel.

Mel.

(curious music)

It's over, Mel.

(music grows tense)

(crashing)

(unsettling music)

You're free, Susan.

You're free.

(stirring music)

- (sighs) The CIA's
behind Cabra's coup.

- I know.

But it's not the CIA.

It's a separate group
with CIA connections.

- How do you know?

- When Lillah and I expressed
an interest in Emanja Mora,

we were whisked off
to Washington, DC,

where we were told,
in no uncertain terms,

to back the hell off.

- Well, who are these people?

- I don't know.

The Pentagon.

Corporate, NSC, whoever they
are, they're well hidden.

- Well, I know who their
man in New York is.

- Who?

- Roger LoCocco.

Yeah, Cabra told me just
before his half gainer.

Hey, Frank.

You think LoCocco
knows I'm a fed?

- No.

Lillah and I backed off
to protect your cover.

I had to take a man
off Emanja Mora.

- Are you tellin' me
there's nobody watchin' her?

- Yeah.

- Well, Frank, nobody else
knows that Cabra's dead.

They might still be after her.

- [Frank] Vince!

Vince!

Vinnie.

(engine rumbling)
Vin!

(tires squealing)
Vince!

(unsettling music)

(strange whooshing)

- Send me home.

(music grows tense)

Send me home.

(ragged breathing)

(music swells)

(soft sobbing)

- I love you.

I love you.

(tires squealing)
(suspenseful music)

- It was you.

You did it.

- No, you're wrong.

I was living with my poor aunt
when you pulled me into this.

I told you to stay away from me.

- No, no, no.

You killed Cabra.

- I defended myself.

What was I supposed to do?

Stay and wait for you
to come and save me?

Men with guns came into my house

and killed the last
member of my family.

You made me take your
boss to the Mae Nina.

It was you who
brought this to me.

You dragged me into this.

This is your mess!

- Roger.

- Cabra's dead.

- He is, Roger, I saw it.

- How?

- He took a dive out the window.

- Did you get the
crystal I sent you?

- You stole Mel's crystal?

- When Mae Nina hypnotized
you at the ceremony yesterday.

- Nobody hypnotized me.

- How do you think
I got the crystal?

- [Roger] Why'd
you send it to me?

- Every tyrant has
a hungry right hand.

I knew it wasn't you, Vincent.

(emotional music)

(music darkens)

(music swells)

(music intensifies)

- Mel's dead.

- What happened?

- I wasn't there.

I got there just as Susan was
lightin' the funeral pyre.

She was too rattled.

I couldn't get
anything out of her.

- Well, it must have
been her or LoCocco.

- I don't know.

- Well, who else
would have killed him?

Then we got two suspects.

If it was Susan, then it
was just a simple murder.

- Yeah, but if it was LoCocco,

it's a CIA conspiracy.

(tense music)

(exciting music)

(rousing music)