Wiseguy (1987–2009): Season 1, Episode 16 - Not for Nothing - full transcript
Small-time hood Aldo Baglia notices a photo of Vinnie in a newspaper, and tracks him down and shoots him for revenge.
- [Narrator]
Tonight, on Wiseguy.
- [Aldo] Not for nothin' Vinnie.
(gun fires)
- You've fallen in love
with him, haven't ya?
I begged you, Susan,
I begged you not to!
- I used to go home
before Mel Profitt,
but now I haven't been
there for a weekend
in more than three months.
I wanna be touched.
I wanna be loved.
- Terranova was the target.
I wanna know why.
I wanna know
everything about him.
- I oughta blow his brain out!
(Susan yelps)
("Wiseguy Theme" by Mike Post)
(gulls chirp)
(patrons chatter)
(saw hums)
- Gino, this is a monumental
waste of my talents, okay.
- You're doin' a good job, Aldo.
- Yeah, but I could be
doin' things for you!
- You're doin' what I
want you to do, Aldo.
- I was about to be a
prince in Atlantic City!
- Well now you're the
duke of Beef Wellington
in downtown Vancouver, which
I understand from Mahoney,
is a lot better than what
waits for you in the states.
(saw hums)
(hooks clatter)
(door thuds)
(uptempo electronic music)
- [Woman] Aldo.
- Sweet thing, how you doin'?
- Hey, Aldo!
Hey, don't you owe me somethin'?
- Come by the store,
I'll give you any tray.
- I want a whole
filet this time,
none of that watered down crap.
- Only the best for you, babe.
(traffic hums)
(gentle electronic music)
- Please, do not put
me on hold again.
Not again.
You are the emergency
free clinic.
Now what about my problem?
What does it look like?
It looks like,
like peanut butter.
- What the.
(man groans)
Come on!
Don't use the phone, pal.
I got business to take
care of, all right?
(coins clink)
(suspenseful electronic music)
(phone rings)
(gun clicks)
(phone rings)
- [Mack] Yeah, hello?
- [Aldo] Mack?
- [Mack] Aldo?
- [Aldo] Yeah, listen, I
found Vinnie Terranova.
- I didn't know you
were lookin' for him.
You're supposed to be hidin'.
- He betrayed us.
Let's take care of Vinnie, man.
I can do something about him.
- I heard he slid
on a bum arrest,
like failure to
properly execute.
- Come on, Mack, gimme
somethin' to do up here.
I want permission
to do somethin'.
- Don't ask me that!
Things change!
They busted our business.
Judges I had as
friends are indicted.
Guys below me who were supposed
to be taking care of things
in case of an emergency
are killin' each other.
Kidnappin' each other's babies.
The government froze
all my accounts.
The money I had hidden,
I'm givin' to lawyers
who don't return my calls.
You're talkin' to a ghost, Aldo.
I got cancer.
- Mack.
I'm sorry, man.
- I don't want your sympathy!
I want you to learn,
why don't you learn?
We had everything.
It wasn't enough,
we had to have more.
Now we got nothin'.
Be smart, Aldo.
Forget about Terranova,
try to live a life.
- I guess you're right.
I'm sorry that
you're sick, Mack.
Listen Mack, do me a favor,
get in touch with my family,
and let 'em know
I'm okay, all right?
Mack?
- Ain't you talked
to your family?
- Feds got everybody bugged.
We don't have one of those
hidden phone lines like you got.
- Aldo. (chuckles)
You know, these federal charges,
they're a lot of
pressure on us old guys.
Oh now, we know it
goes with the territory
and all like that,
but when it happens,
and they're playin'
with a bad hand,
well it does funny things
to your veins and arteries.
- Yeah, it's like
why you're sick.
- Yeah well, me and your father.
He succumbed to
the pressure, Aldo.
He had a heart attack.
He's dead Aldo, I'm sorry.
- When?
- Two weeks ago.
I thought you knew.
- My father.
- Listen, Aldo.
You're gonna have to start
livin' your own life now.
Just forget about the past.
It drives you down.
Forget it, okay?
- Yeah.
- Good.
Goodbye, Aldo.
(button clicks)
(somber music)
- [Aldo] Bang.
(traffic hums)
- Boy, I'm down here, my
wife's, she's fat, you know?
Sex with her is like
feeling up a crowd.
(Mel laughs)
You know what I'm sayin'?
You know what I'm
sayin' about that?
She's so fat, we
go to the beach,
Greenpeace tries to throw
her back in the water.
Boy, I'm tellin' ya, Mel,
this is a beautiful
place you got here.
Doesn't look like a boat,
it looks like the Sistine
Chapel, you know that?
There's a place,
the Sistine Chapel.
Took Michelangelo seven years
to get the ceiling painted.
He must have the
same landlord I do.
(Mel laughs)
Same land, stay with it folks,
it's a long voyage here.
- I love this guy.
Oh, you're killin'
me, stop. (laughs)
Oh god.
You wanna come to dinner?
- You buyin'?
- Am I buying?
Yes, I'm buying.
- Well, I'm goin'.
- Don't you make any money
in these comedy clubs?
- Well, if you pay me tonight,
I can buy my own food, you know?
You're big.
Oh, I hate planes.
My wife says it's
like being on a bus.
It's like bein' on a bus?
I go 33,000 feet in the
air, I'm tellin' ya,
I'm dingin', okay?
I'm dingin', ding-ding,
I'm outta there.
- Well, there you are in
a 900-dollar-a-day suite
at the George Cinque.
And here I am in
a Naugahyde room
at the Karl Marx Pavilion.
Why I oughta.
(door knocks)
Oh this is great.
When I was undercover, it
was pock-marked prostitutes.
How you doin'?
Just a second.
- [Comedian] My aunt died
in a rainstorm like this,
you know?
Washin' her hair.
- [Aldo] Not for
nothin', Vinnie.
(gun fires)
- Get out, get out, get out.
(Susan screams)
(gun fires)
(glass clatters)
(dramatic electronic music)
- Susan!
- Vinnie!
- [Mel] Susan,
don't go out there!
- Vinnie!
- Get back here,
don't go out there!
- Vinnie!
- Susan!
Susan!
(Susan sobs)
- No, no.
No, no, please, don't die.
Please, live!
- Get back to the boat!
Take care of the guests!
- Vinnie.
Please.
- You've gone and
done it, haven't you?
You've fallen in love
with him, haven't you?
I begged you, Susan,
I begged you not to.
But you've done it!
I oughta blow his brains out!
(Susan yelps)
(suspenseful electronic music)
(monitor beeps)
- [Nurse] So what
are we lookin' at?
- [Man] A case for gun control.
- Vince?
- [Nurse] Who is this?
Get the hell outta here!
- [Doctor] Type
it, we go into OR.
- [Nurse] Still gave it up.
- [Doctor] Doesn't
matter, he won't notice.
(elevator dings)
- Hi, uh, I'm Roger LoCocco,
I'm head of security
for Profitt.
Can I come in?
- You're not goin' in there,
I don't care whose security
you're in charge of.
- Evidence disintegrates
in milliseconds,
now the sooner that room is
given a forensic combing,
the greater the likelihood
of catching whoever it was
who tried to
assassinate Mr. Profitt.
- You get off this
floor immediately,
or you'll be arrested.
- I'll be back.
- You do that.
When a ranking
detective is on scene.
- Yeah.
Got it.
(elevator dings)
(patrons chatter)
I need a size nine.
Never been outta the
box, never been touched.
I also need two pair of
black over the cap socks.
I'm in a hurry, please,
don't open the box.
I'll be right back.
Give you 50 bucks
for that duct tape.
- 50 bucks for duct tape?
- 50 bucks.
- Thanks.
- [Officer] The head of
Profitt's private security
has been bugging us about
getting into the room.
- Is he still up there?
- [Officer] I don't think so.
- Well, if I comes
back, send him to me.
- [Officer] Okay.
(people chatter)
(suspenseful electronic music)
(knife scrapes)
(bag crinkles)
(elevator dings)
- Back again.
Security guy's here.
- You are?
- Roger LoCocco.
Head of security
for Mel Profitt.
- [Officer] Bad
night for you, eh?
- No kidding.
Can I come in or what?
- Touch nothing?
- Agreed.
- Hey, you're
standing in evidence.
- You know who my employer is?
- Yeah, he's the industrialist.
- Meaning he's very rich.
And he has more enemies
than we care to count.
- Where were you when
all this happened?
- I was about five
feet from the victim.
He was one of Mr.
Profitt's body guards.
- Anything else?
- Like what?
- Like who did this so
I can go home tonight?
- Hey, I'm not gettin'
any sleep tonight either.
My boss is very upset.
- So I heard.
- Come on, keep your hands off.
Does he have to be here?
- Okay, you gotta go.
- Can't you give me anything?
My can's on the line about this.
- Yeah, I figured.
Tell your boss
we're investigating.
Forensic will be
getting back with us
over the next few days.
In the meantime, we'll give
you what we can get, okay?
- Oh, do you have a card?
- Yeah.
Here.
You tell me, what's it like
workin' for a guy that rich?
- Today, it stinks.
Can I use the toilet?
- [Detective] No.
- [Roger] Thanks.
(suspenseful electronic music)
(door thuds)
(coins clink)
(phone rings)
- Frank.
- [Frank] Yeah?
- Hang on a second.
Man, I can't handle
this schedule.
With you and Vinny on a
three-hour time zone lag,
I don't know if I'm
comin' or goin'.
You're both late checkin' in,
my nephew's three hours late.
- He's been shot.
He's been in OR for five hours.
- And you're just
phonin' me now?
What's the prognosis?
- Nobody's smilin'.
- What can I do to support you?
- You can get our best forensics
to back up the Canadians.
I have a call on to Shagrass.
I want him to meet me
at BC Mercy Hospital,
but he hasn't phoned back yet.
Follow that up.
- Yeah, I can do that.
Damn it, Frank, I don't
know if I can ride this out
at the hardware store.
You know what I'm sayin'?
- Uh yeah.
- Mr. McPike.
- Uh, uncle, I gotta go.
I'll let you know
as soon as I can.
- Lillah Warfield,
I'm with state.
- Nice to meet
you, where's Chuck?
- Mr. Shagrass is
on medical leave.
- What's wrong, I was
just gettin' used to him.
- It's a chronic thing.
- Nose candy?
That's a shame.
- Preliminary forensic
findings are being rushed
at the request of the embassy.
This remains a little sticky
since our man is a citizen only
and requesting a rush
tends to raise eyebrows.
- Ms. Warfield, no offense,
but I don't care
what gets raised,
and right now, Vince's cover
couldn't mean less to me.
- A man among moles.
How'd you last this
long in the system?
(monitor beeps)
- I want these
windows bulletproofed.
- [Susan] Mel, we should
liquidate everything.
- Oh?
Oh and then what?
You'd settle down
and raise a little passel
of stick ball players?
I'd wither away into
a melancholy memory?
- Why can't we live
normal, boring lives?
We can do anything,
why can't we do that?
What would we miss, huh?
- We would be defenseless.
I will never forget
what that's like.
God, I feel like my skin is
being stretched from the inside.
Thousands of
razor-teethed little mice
are gnawing their way outta me!
- Let me get you something, Mel.
- I don't want elixir.
I want you.
I wanna know that
I'm a part of you.
We're locked together, complete.
Where's Roger?
(traffic hums)
- Damn it, LoCocco, you
scared the pants off of me.
- Please, Herb,
don't make me sick.
- What is it you want?
- I need a full
spectral analysis ASAP.
- What's in here?
- Two size nine Balis
and a rear view mirror
from a Mercendes-Benz.
- Is this related to--
- I need a breakout
of all component material
not inherent to the shoes,
the duct tape, the black
socks, the rear view mirror,
and cardboard.
I need to know what
I'm standing in Herb,
and I need to know it now.
- And I need to know,
is this related to
the assassination
attempt on Mel Profitt?
- Ah, that was no assassination
attempt on Mel Profitt.
Those bullets hit home.
- What makes you think that?
- You don't use a
high-powered rifle
and accidentally hit the
same non-moving target twice.
Terranova was the target.
I wanna know why.
I wanna know
everything about him.
(traffic hums)
♪ It's like thunder
♪ Lightin'
♪ The way you feel
me is frightenin' ♪
♪ I got a knock knock
knock knock on-- ♪
- What happened to your face?
♪ I don't wanna
lose a good thing ♪
(people chatter)
- Uh, excuse me, doctors.
Mr. Terranova.
- Well, he lost a lot of blood.
His heart stopped beating.
He is not out of the woods yet,
but nothing vital was hit.
- See when the heart
pumps as much donor blood
as the blood it produces.
We can't stay with any
statistical certainty
one way or the other.
- Go home and rest.
(machine clicks)
- Yeah.
I'm turnin' these
lines over to AG.
I don't know, maybe a week.
(switches click)
(somber electronic music)
(monitor beeps)
- I feel this empty
and he's right here.
I see your eyes holding him.
And emptiness tears at my heart.
- I love you, Mel.
I love you.
- You wanna go see him?
- Yes.
(monitor beeps)
- My fallen warrior.
What is it like,
so close to death?
You have my sister's heart,
and I would curse you
if it were not for the abyss.
When you look over,
does it beckon?
I believe that death
is whatever you want it to be.
If you expect heaven
or hell, you'll get it.
I expect nothing.
I pray for you.
(suspenseful music)
To return from the edge.
I can't live with my sister
in love with an assumption.
I need you back.
In all your primordial glory.
(monitor beeps)
(door knocks)
- [Frank] Is he all right?
- As far as I know.
- Oh, sorry.
I can't stay awake, Lill.
Yes please, can you
send up some coffee?
Would you like anything?
- Asbach Uralt.
Asbach Uralt, German liqueur.
- Asbach Uralt,
a German liqueur.
Yes sir, thank you.
- Their preliminaries,
forensic, pathology, toxicology.
The assailant is B positive,
type from bloodstain,
broken glass, Mr. Profitt's
security returned fire.
The carpeting by the window
shows a high concentration
of dead animal fats and oils,
mostly steer but also
goat, rabbit, and bison.
Gum, sugar, food dyes,
red, yellow, green,
and preservatives
associated with candies.
- We have an assassin that
travels with a refrigerator.
- You are exhausted, aren't you?
- Yes ma'am, I'm
exhausted, I'm spent.
- We are looking for a man.
(chuckles) Relax, relax.
Who works in a butcher store
with at least a sideline
specialty in exotic meats
and probably sells candies
or is addicted to sweets.
Three stores in this
area fit the profile,
and from the BD
Health Department,
I have a list of
current employees.
Look in the back.
(door knocks)
Hi, um.
- [Frank] Lillah, I have that.
- It's okay, thanks.
- 25 people, this is a
list of probable suspects.
- [Lillah] Very astute.
- Well let's go.
We should be able to
cover those by ourselves.
- Frank.
Frank, it's after midnight.
- Well, I guess that
keeps till morning.
- Would you like to
try some of this?
- That's very nice.
I don't think this is
a good idea, Lillah.
- What do you mean?
- I just can't bare
my soul to you.
(Frank clears throat)
- Sorry, Frank.
- Lillah.
Lillah.
Please don't take this
as a personal thing.
I used to go home
before Mel Profitt.
Now I haven't been
there for a weekend
in more than three months.
I know the strain's
beginning to show.
I'm hurtin' in places
I don't wanna hurt.
And Vince.
Vince, you know.
I stood right here buyin' a
hamburger when he took it.
And I looked out there,
and there he was,
in the blood and the pain.
You know, I'd just been bitchin'
about how lucky he had it.
And my wife left me.
I hadn't talked
to her in a week.
We kept missin' each other.
This morning I got a
recording telling me
that the phone had
been disconnected
at the customer's request.
She put my dog in a kennel and
took my kid to her mother's.
You tell me where
the hell that's at.
My dog is 13 years old,
and he's gonna stay in
a kennel till I get back
or I exceed my
credit card limit,
in which case I don't have
any idea what happens to him.
Now Vinnie's dyin', and she
tells me I'm doing this to her?
Actually, her mother tells me
because she won't talk to me.
She says that if she were dyin',
I said, go ahead
and go on without me
because I have no
idea why I'll be home.
And here I am, standin'
here in my nightie,
tellin' this to a practically
absolute stranger.
A very nice stranger.
'Cause.
'Cause Lillah I
wanna be touched.
I wanna be loved.
Because I'm an ass.
- The world stinks, Frank.
Life out of a suitcase
is hollow and lonely.
- Yeah.
- It's as lonely as the
grave out there, Frank.
She'll feel that
the minute she steps out
to dinner without you.
She's probably
feeling it right now.
It's been a year for me, Frank.
A year of fear
and lonely nights.
I'm dying to make love with you.
(gentle electronic music)
(traffic hums)
- [Woman] Hey, Aldo!
- [Aldo] Hey, babe,
how you doin'?
- [Woman] Can make
you happy, Aldo.
- [Aldo] Aldo's a happy man.
- Hey look, special rates, eh?
- Look, I work in a meat market.
No offense, you're
a treat I can afford
only afford once in
a while, I told you.
- Hey look, I heard from Deb
you pay in groceries, huh?
- Yeah.
- Look, I'm starvin' Aldo.
A week's worth of
groceries, please,
I'll do anything for you.
- Anything?
- Yeah.
Look, I got feel good lotions
and potions in my place
I'll have you
speakin' in tongues.
Nobody'll do you like me.
- Yeah all right,
come on, let's go.
- Roger.
Roger.
No funny business, Roger.
I have angina.
- [Roger] You're so
full of it, Herb.
- Hey now, you take
advantage of your position.
You use it to be cruel to me,
that doesn't go
unnoted, understand?
- You're a beautiful
person, Herb.
What have you got?
- Should be a piece
of cake for ya.
You're lookin' for a butcher.
- What?
- It's in the report,
everything's in the report.
Try reading.
- Your business is reading,
my business is fulfillment.
Save me some overtime, pal,
what's the bottom line?
- Probability is the
guy's working for
one of three butcher
shops in Vancouver.
There's a list of 25 employees.
Data net highlighted the
most likely by demographic
definition effectively use
a long range rifle at night.
Four names and current
or most recent addresses.
- That it?
- One more thing.
No more favors.
- Excuse me?
- I have my tricks, too.
- Step back and
release it, Herb.
(suspenseful music)
Step back!
Release it!
(weapon thuds)
- I don't like these little
forays for Mel Profitt.
Hey I'm putting myself at risk,
and all you're doing
is showing off.
- So what?
- Well I don't like to be used.
I especially don't
like to be used by you!
- Why that's the
balance of life, Herb.
The ebb and flow
of the universe.
You owe, I collect.
- You collect and collect,
well end of the
line on this debt.
No more demands.
This is the last favor
you call in like this.
- I don't think so, Herb.
I am the conductor
on this train.
I will say when
the ride is over.
(suspenseful music)
(bell jingles)
Aldo Baglia.
Your time is up.
(door thuds)
(heartbeat pounds)
- Morning, how's Mr. Terranova?
- I think fine.
Let's look at his chart.
- You move, and you're dead.
Now drop the rod.
(rod clatters)
Turn around real slow.
- It's a little hard to do 'em
both at the same time, Frank.
- Uncle.
You're tall.
- I'm also losin' my balance.
Would you mind handin'
me my walkin' stick?
And you feel secure enough
to put the gun away?
- Why didn't you tell me
you were comin' out here?
- I covered all my
bases before leavin'.
I didn't wanna argue about it.
I didn't need to be told
there was nothin' I could do.
- There's nothin' you can do.
- I just said I didn't
wanna be told that.
- He's not lookin'
too good, is he?
- He's gonna be fine,
aren't you man, huh?
It's your Uncle Mike.
- Uncle Mike.
- Nurse!
He's awake.
- I'll call a doctor!
- He's awake.
- Good.
- What are you doin' here?
- They made an
identification of a print
taken in the hotel room.
- Come on.
- Man by the name
of Aldo Baglia.
- Aldo.
Which store is it?
- A federal shield
has no authority here.
- I'm not gonna have a
policy argument with you.
- I will call the
justice department,
arrange for extradition
papers to be drawn up
and the Canadians'll
pick 'em up, Frank!
You're gonna end up in jail.
(traffic hums)
♪ Hallelujah
♪ This is exactly my burden
- Sweetie!
Don't forget my groceries.
- Yeah.
Sweetest, babe.
(traffic hums)
- [Roger] Man,
you are this ugly.
(bucket clatters)
- Ah, damn it.
- Excuse me, sir.
Does Mr. Aldo Redding work here?
- Who are you?
- I'm with the bank.
Mr. Redding's
applied for a loan.
We're having a tough time
tracing his line of credit.
- A loan, has he lost his mind?
- There he is, Aldo, Aldo!
(children chatter)
(suspenseful music)
(door thuds)
(Aldo groans)
(gun clatters)
(punches thud)
- I know you're trying
to kill Vince Terranova.
What I don't know is why.
Now you're gonna tell me, right?
(Aldo screams)
(Aldo thuds)
Damn.
(crowd clamors)
(suspenseful music)
(engine rumbles)
(Vince groans)
- So what's the joke, Roger?
- Ah, you're the joke, Vince.
Profitt's so depressed
that he wasn't the target
of an assassination,
he's locked himself in his
room, and he won't come out.
- That's great.
I guess that means I have to
give this good luck charm back.
- Hey, that's no
charm, that's magic.
Profitt voodoo.
- Yeah.
- Yeah, don't take
it so lightly.
The man has an IQ of over 200
and he prays to hat racks,
you figure it out, but
don't think it's not real.
I've seen him at ritual lost
in some blind zombie state,
it's not a pretty sight.
- So what's with the teeth?
- Things are never what
they seem, are they, Vince?
Imagine Aldo Baglia
slipping in grease.
Shoulda seen the
look on his face
as he went over the
side of the building.
Ah!
Life is full of surprises,
isn't it, Vince?
I bet you have a few
surprises for me.
I know I have a few
surprises for you.
("Wiseguy Theme" by Mike Post)
Tonight, on Wiseguy.
- [Aldo] Not for nothin' Vinnie.
(gun fires)
- You've fallen in love
with him, haven't ya?
I begged you, Susan,
I begged you not to!
- I used to go home
before Mel Profitt,
but now I haven't been
there for a weekend
in more than three months.
I wanna be touched.
I wanna be loved.
- Terranova was the target.
I wanna know why.
I wanna know
everything about him.
- I oughta blow his brain out!
(Susan yelps)
("Wiseguy Theme" by Mike Post)
(gulls chirp)
(patrons chatter)
(saw hums)
- Gino, this is a monumental
waste of my talents, okay.
- You're doin' a good job, Aldo.
- Yeah, but I could be
doin' things for you!
- You're doin' what I
want you to do, Aldo.
- I was about to be a
prince in Atlantic City!
- Well now you're the
duke of Beef Wellington
in downtown Vancouver, which
I understand from Mahoney,
is a lot better than what
waits for you in the states.
(saw hums)
(hooks clatter)
(door thuds)
(uptempo electronic music)
- [Woman] Aldo.
- Sweet thing, how you doin'?
- Hey, Aldo!
Hey, don't you owe me somethin'?
- Come by the store,
I'll give you any tray.
- I want a whole
filet this time,
none of that watered down crap.
- Only the best for you, babe.
(traffic hums)
(gentle electronic music)
- Please, do not put
me on hold again.
Not again.
You are the emergency
free clinic.
Now what about my problem?
What does it look like?
It looks like,
like peanut butter.
- What the.
(man groans)
Come on!
Don't use the phone, pal.
I got business to take
care of, all right?
(coins clink)
(suspenseful electronic music)
(phone rings)
(gun clicks)
(phone rings)
- [Mack] Yeah, hello?
- [Aldo] Mack?
- [Mack] Aldo?
- [Aldo] Yeah, listen, I
found Vinnie Terranova.
- I didn't know you
were lookin' for him.
You're supposed to be hidin'.
- He betrayed us.
Let's take care of Vinnie, man.
I can do something about him.
- I heard he slid
on a bum arrest,
like failure to
properly execute.
- Come on, Mack, gimme
somethin' to do up here.
I want permission
to do somethin'.
- Don't ask me that!
Things change!
They busted our business.
Judges I had as
friends are indicted.
Guys below me who were supposed
to be taking care of things
in case of an emergency
are killin' each other.
Kidnappin' each other's babies.
The government froze
all my accounts.
The money I had hidden,
I'm givin' to lawyers
who don't return my calls.
You're talkin' to a ghost, Aldo.
I got cancer.
- Mack.
I'm sorry, man.
- I don't want your sympathy!
I want you to learn,
why don't you learn?
We had everything.
It wasn't enough,
we had to have more.
Now we got nothin'.
Be smart, Aldo.
Forget about Terranova,
try to live a life.
- I guess you're right.
I'm sorry that
you're sick, Mack.
Listen Mack, do me a favor,
get in touch with my family,
and let 'em know
I'm okay, all right?
Mack?
- Ain't you talked
to your family?
- Feds got everybody bugged.
We don't have one of those
hidden phone lines like you got.
- Aldo. (chuckles)
You know, these federal charges,
they're a lot of
pressure on us old guys.
Oh now, we know it
goes with the territory
and all like that,
but when it happens,
and they're playin'
with a bad hand,
well it does funny things
to your veins and arteries.
- Yeah, it's like
why you're sick.
- Yeah well, me and your father.
He succumbed to
the pressure, Aldo.
He had a heart attack.
He's dead Aldo, I'm sorry.
- When?
- Two weeks ago.
I thought you knew.
- My father.
- Listen, Aldo.
You're gonna have to start
livin' your own life now.
Just forget about the past.
It drives you down.
Forget it, okay?
- Yeah.
- Good.
Goodbye, Aldo.
(button clicks)
(somber music)
- [Aldo] Bang.
(traffic hums)
- Boy, I'm down here, my
wife's, she's fat, you know?
Sex with her is like
feeling up a crowd.
(Mel laughs)
You know what I'm sayin'?
You know what I'm
sayin' about that?
She's so fat, we
go to the beach,
Greenpeace tries to throw
her back in the water.
Boy, I'm tellin' ya, Mel,
this is a beautiful
place you got here.
Doesn't look like a boat,
it looks like the Sistine
Chapel, you know that?
There's a place,
the Sistine Chapel.
Took Michelangelo seven years
to get the ceiling painted.
He must have the
same landlord I do.
(Mel laughs)
Same land, stay with it folks,
it's a long voyage here.
- I love this guy.
Oh, you're killin'
me, stop. (laughs)
Oh god.
You wanna come to dinner?
- You buyin'?
- Am I buying?
Yes, I'm buying.
- Well, I'm goin'.
- Don't you make any money
in these comedy clubs?
- Well, if you pay me tonight,
I can buy my own food, you know?
You're big.
Oh, I hate planes.
My wife says it's
like being on a bus.
It's like bein' on a bus?
I go 33,000 feet in the
air, I'm tellin' ya,
I'm dingin', okay?
I'm dingin', ding-ding,
I'm outta there.
- Well, there you are in
a 900-dollar-a-day suite
at the George Cinque.
And here I am in
a Naugahyde room
at the Karl Marx Pavilion.
Why I oughta.
(door knocks)
Oh this is great.
When I was undercover, it
was pock-marked prostitutes.
How you doin'?
Just a second.
- [Comedian] My aunt died
in a rainstorm like this,
you know?
Washin' her hair.
- [Aldo] Not for
nothin', Vinnie.
(gun fires)
- Get out, get out, get out.
(Susan screams)
(gun fires)
(glass clatters)
(dramatic electronic music)
- Susan!
- Vinnie!
- [Mel] Susan,
don't go out there!
- Vinnie!
- Get back here,
don't go out there!
- Vinnie!
- Susan!
Susan!
(Susan sobs)
- No, no.
No, no, please, don't die.
Please, live!
- Get back to the boat!
Take care of the guests!
- Vinnie.
Please.
- You've gone and
done it, haven't you?
You've fallen in love
with him, haven't you?
I begged you, Susan,
I begged you not to.
But you've done it!
I oughta blow his brains out!
(Susan yelps)
(suspenseful electronic music)
(monitor beeps)
- [Nurse] So what
are we lookin' at?
- [Man] A case for gun control.
- Vince?
- [Nurse] Who is this?
Get the hell outta here!
- [Doctor] Type
it, we go into OR.
- [Nurse] Still gave it up.
- [Doctor] Doesn't
matter, he won't notice.
(elevator dings)
- Hi, uh, I'm Roger LoCocco,
I'm head of security
for Profitt.
Can I come in?
- You're not goin' in there,
I don't care whose security
you're in charge of.
- Evidence disintegrates
in milliseconds,
now the sooner that room is
given a forensic combing,
the greater the likelihood
of catching whoever it was
who tried to
assassinate Mr. Profitt.
- You get off this
floor immediately,
or you'll be arrested.
- I'll be back.
- You do that.
When a ranking
detective is on scene.
- Yeah.
Got it.
(elevator dings)
(patrons chatter)
I need a size nine.
Never been outta the
box, never been touched.
I also need two pair of
black over the cap socks.
I'm in a hurry, please,
don't open the box.
I'll be right back.
Give you 50 bucks
for that duct tape.
- 50 bucks for duct tape?
- 50 bucks.
- Thanks.
- [Officer] The head of
Profitt's private security
has been bugging us about
getting into the room.
- Is he still up there?
- [Officer] I don't think so.
- Well, if I comes
back, send him to me.
- [Officer] Okay.
(people chatter)
(suspenseful electronic music)
(knife scrapes)
(bag crinkles)
(elevator dings)
- Back again.
Security guy's here.
- You are?
- Roger LoCocco.
Head of security
for Mel Profitt.
- [Officer] Bad
night for you, eh?
- No kidding.
Can I come in or what?
- Touch nothing?
- Agreed.
- Hey, you're
standing in evidence.
- You know who my employer is?
- Yeah, he's the industrialist.
- Meaning he's very rich.
And he has more enemies
than we care to count.
- Where were you when
all this happened?
- I was about five
feet from the victim.
He was one of Mr.
Profitt's body guards.
- Anything else?
- Like what?
- Like who did this so
I can go home tonight?
- Hey, I'm not gettin'
any sleep tonight either.
My boss is very upset.
- So I heard.
- Come on, keep your hands off.
Does he have to be here?
- Okay, you gotta go.
- Can't you give me anything?
My can's on the line about this.
- Yeah, I figured.
Tell your boss
we're investigating.
Forensic will be
getting back with us
over the next few days.
In the meantime, we'll give
you what we can get, okay?
- Oh, do you have a card?
- Yeah.
Here.
You tell me, what's it like
workin' for a guy that rich?
- Today, it stinks.
Can I use the toilet?
- [Detective] No.
- [Roger] Thanks.
(suspenseful electronic music)
(door thuds)
(coins clink)
(phone rings)
- Frank.
- [Frank] Yeah?
- Hang on a second.
Man, I can't handle
this schedule.
With you and Vinny on a
three-hour time zone lag,
I don't know if I'm
comin' or goin'.
You're both late checkin' in,
my nephew's three hours late.
- He's been shot.
He's been in OR for five hours.
- And you're just
phonin' me now?
What's the prognosis?
- Nobody's smilin'.
- What can I do to support you?
- You can get our best forensics
to back up the Canadians.
I have a call on to Shagrass.
I want him to meet me
at BC Mercy Hospital,
but he hasn't phoned back yet.
Follow that up.
- Yeah, I can do that.
Damn it, Frank, I don't
know if I can ride this out
at the hardware store.
You know what I'm sayin'?
- Uh yeah.
- Mr. McPike.
- Uh, uncle, I gotta go.
I'll let you know
as soon as I can.
- Lillah Warfield,
I'm with state.
- Nice to meet
you, where's Chuck?
- Mr. Shagrass is
on medical leave.
- What's wrong, I was
just gettin' used to him.
- It's a chronic thing.
- Nose candy?
That's a shame.
- Preliminary forensic
findings are being rushed
at the request of the embassy.
This remains a little sticky
since our man is a citizen only
and requesting a rush
tends to raise eyebrows.
- Ms. Warfield, no offense,
but I don't care
what gets raised,
and right now, Vince's cover
couldn't mean less to me.
- A man among moles.
How'd you last this
long in the system?
(monitor beeps)
- I want these
windows bulletproofed.
- [Susan] Mel, we should
liquidate everything.
- Oh?
Oh and then what?
You'd settle down
and raise a little passel
of stick ball players?
I'd wither away into
a melancholy memory?
- Why can't we live
normal, boring lives?
We can do anything,
why can't we do that?
What would we miss, huh?
- We would be defenseless.
I will never forget
what that's like.
God, I feel like my skin is
being stretched from the inside.
Thousands of
razor-teethed little mice
are gnawing their way outta me!
- Let me get you something, Mel.
- I don't want elixir.
I want you.
I wanna know that
I'm a part of you.
We're locked together, complete.
Where's Roger?
(traffic hums)
- Damn it, LoCocco, you
scared the pants off of me.
- Please, Herb,
don't make me sick.
- What is it you want?
- I need a full
spectral analysis ASAP.
- What's in here?
- Two size nine Balis
and a rear view mirror
from a Mercendes-Benz.
- Is this related to--
- I need a breakout
of all component material
not inherent to the shoes,
the duct tape, the black
socks, the rear view mirror,
and cardboard.
I need to know what
I'm standing in Herb,
and I need to know it now.
- And I need to know,
is this related to
the assassination
attempt on Mel Profitt?
- Ah, that was no assassination
attempt on Mel Profitt.
Those bullets hit home.
- What makes you think that?
- You don't use a
high-powered rifle
and accidentally hit the
same non-moving target twice.
Terranova was the target.
I wanna know why.
I wanna know
everything about him.
(traffic hums)
♪ It's like thunder
♪ Lightin'
♪ The way you feel
me is frightenin' ♪
♪ I got a knock knock
knock knock on-- ♪
- What happened to your face?
♪ I don't wanna
lose a good thing ♪
(people chatter)
- Uh, excuse me, doctors.
Mr. Terranova.
- Well, he lost a lot of blood.
His heart stopped beating.
He is not out of the woods yet,
but nothing vital was hit.
- See when the heart
pumps as much donor blood
as the blood it produces.
We can't stay with any
statistical certainty
one way or the other.
- Go home and rest.
(machine clicks)
- Yeah.
I'm turnin' these
lines over to AG.
I don't know, maybe a week.
(switches click)
(somber electronic music)
(monitor beeps)
- I feel this empty
and he's right here.
I see your eyes holding him.
And emptiness tears at my heart.
- I love you, Mel.
I love you.
- You wanna go see him?
- Yes.
(monitor beeps)
- My fallen warrior.
What is it like,
so close to death?
You have my sister's heart,
and I would curse you
if it were not for the abyss.
When you look over,
does it beckon?
I believe that death
is whatever you want it to be.
If you expect heaven
or hell, you'll get it.
I expect nothing.
I pray for you.
(suspenseful music)
To return from the edge.
I can't live with my sister
in love with an assumption.
I need you back.
In all your primordial glory.
(monitor beeps)
(door knocks)
- [Frank] Is he all right?
- As far as I know.
- Oh, sorry.
I can't stay awake, Lill.
Yes please, can you
send up some coffee?
Would you like anything?
- Asbach Uralt.
Asbach Uralt, German liqueur.
- Asbach Uralt,
a German liqueur.
Yes sir, thank you.
- Their preliminaries,
forensic, pathology, toxicology.
The assailant is B positive,
type from bloodstain,
broken glass, Mr. Profitt's
security returned fire.
The carpeting by the window
shows a high concentration
of dead animal fats and oils,
mostly steer but also
goat, rabbit, and bison.
Gum, sugar, food dyes,
red, yellow, green,
and preservatives
associated with candies.
- We have an assassin that
travels with a refrigerator.
- You are exhausted, aren't you?
- Yes ma'am, I'm
exhausted, I'm spent.
- We are looking for a man.
(chuckles) Relax, relax.
Who works in a butcher store
with at least a sideline
specialty in exotic meats
and probably sells candies
or is addicted to sweets.
Three stores in this
area fit the profile,
and from the BD
Health Department,
I have a list of
current employees.
Look in the back.
(door knocks)
Hi, um.
- [Frank] Lillah, I have that.
- It's okay, thanks.
- 25 people, this is a
list of probable suspects.
- [Lillah] Very astute.
- Well let's go.
We should be able to
cover those by ourselves.
- Frank.
Frank, it's after midnight.
- Well, I guess that
keeps till morning.
- Would you like to
try some of this?
- That's very nice.
I don't think this is
a good idea, Lillah.
- What do you mean?
- I just can't bare
my soul to you.
(Frank clears throat)
- Sorry, Frank.
- Lillah.
Lillah.
Please don't take this
as a personal thing.
I used to go home
before Mel Profitt.
Now I haven't been
there for a weekend
in more than three months.
I know the strain's
beginning to show.
I'm hurtin' in places
I don't wanna hurt.
And Vince.
Vince, you know.
I stood right here buyin' a
hamburger when he took it.
And I looked out there,
and there he was,
in the blood and the pain.
You know, I'd just been bitchin'
about how lucky he had it.
And my wife left me.
I hadn't talked
to her in a week.
We kept missin' each other.
This morning I got a
recording telling me
that the phone had
been disconnected
at the customer's request.
She put my dog in a kennel and
took my kid to her mother's.
You tell me where
the hell that's at.
My dog is 13 years old,
and he's gonna stay in
a kennel till I get back
or I exceed my
credit card limit,
in which case I don't have
any idea what happens to him.
Now Vinnie's dyin', and she
tells me I'm doing this to her?
Actually, her mother tells me
because she won't talk to me.
She says that if she were dyin',
I said, go ahead
and go on without me
because I have no
idea why I'll be home.
And here I am, standin'
here in my nightie,
tellin' this to a practically
absolute stranger.
A very nice stranger.
'Cause.
'Cause Lillah I
wanna be touched.
I wanna be loved.
Because I'm an ass.
- The world stinks, Frank.
Life out of a suitcase
is hollow and lonely.
- Yeah.
- It's as lonely as the
grave out there, Frank.
She'll feel that
the minute she steps out
to dinner without you.
She's probably
feeling it right now.
It's been a year for me, Frank.
A year of fear
and lonely nights.
I'm dying to make love with you.
(gentle electronic music)
(traffic hums)
- [Woman] Hey, Aldo!
- [Aldo] Hey, babe,
how you doin'?
- [Woman] Can make
you happy, Aldo.
- [Aldo] Aldo's a happy man.
- Hey look, special rates, eh?
- Look, I work in a meat market.
No offense, you're
a treat I can afford
only afford once in
a while, I told you.
- Hey look, I heard from Deb
you pay in groceries, huh?
- Yeah.
- Look, I'm starvin' Aldo.
A week's worth of
groceries, please,
I'll do anything for you.
- Anything?
- Yeah.
Look, I got feel good lotions
and potions in my place
I'll have you
speakin' in tongues.
Nobody'll do you like me.
- Yeah all right,
come on, let's go.
- Roger.
Roger.
No funny business, Roger.
I have angina.
- [Roger] You're so
full of it, Herb.
- Hey now, you take
advantage of your position.
You use it to be cruel to me,
that doesn't go
unnoted, understand?
- You're a beautiful
person, Herb.
What have you got?
- Should be a piece
of cake for ya.
You're lookin' for a butcher.
- What?
- It's in the report,
everything's in the report.
Try reading.
- Your business is reading,
my business is fulfillment.
Save me some overtime, pal,
what's the bottom line?
- Probability is the
guy's working for
one of three butcher
shops in Vancouver.
There's a list of 25 employees.
Data net highlighted the
most likely by demographic
definition effectively use
a long range rifle at night.
Four names and current
or most recent addresses.
- That it?
- One more thing.
No more favors.
- Excuse me?
- I have my tricks, too.
- Step back and
release it, Herb.
(suspenseful music)
Step back!
Release it!
(weapon thuds)
- I don't like these little
forays for Mel Profitt.
Hey I'm putting myself at risk,
and all you're doing
is showing off.
- So what?
- Well I don't like to be used.
I especially don't
like to be used by you!
- Why that's the
balance of life, Herb.
The ebb and flow
of the universe.
You owe, I collect.
- You collect and collect,
well end of the
line on this debt.
No more demands.
This is the last favor
you call in like this.
- I don't think so, Herb.
I am the conductor
on this train.
I will say when
the ride is over.
(suspenseful music)
(bell jingles)
Aldo Baglia.
Your time is up.
(door thuds)
(heartbeat pounds)
- Morning, how's Mr. Terranova?
- I think fine.
Let's look at his chart.
- You move, and you're dead.
Now drop the rod.
(rod clatters)
Turn around real slow.
- It's a little hard to do 'em
both at the same time, Frank.
- Uncle.
You're tall.
- I'm also losin' my balance.
Would you mind handin'
me my walkin' stick?
And you feel secure enough
to put the gun away?
- Why didn't you tell me
you were comin' out here?
- I covered all my
bases before leavin'.
I didn't wanna argue about it.
I didn't need to be told
there was nothin' I could do.
- There's nothin' you can do.
- I just said I didn't
wanna be told that.
- He's not lookin'
too good, is he?
- He's gonna be fine,
aren't you man, huh?
It's your Uncle Mike.
- Uncle Mike.
- Nurse!
He's awake.
- I'll call a doctor!
- He's awake.
- Good.
- What are you doin' here?
- They made an
identification of a print
taken in the hotel room.
- Come on.
- Man by the name
of Aldo Baglia.
- Aldo.
Which store is it?
- A federal shield
has no authority here.
- I'm not gonna have a
policy argument with you.
- I will call the
justice department,
arrange for extradition
papers to be drawn up
and the Canadians'll
pick 'em up, Frank!
You're gonna end up in jail.
(traffic hums)
♪ Hallelujah
♪ This is exactly my burden
- Sweetie!
Don't forget my groceries.
- Yeah.
Sweetest, babe.
(traffic hums)
- [Roger] Man,
you are this ugly.
(bucket clatters)
- Ah, damn it.
- Excuse me, sir.
Does Mr. Aldo Redding work here?
- Who are you?
- I'm with the bank.
Mr. Redding's
applied for a loan.
We're having a tough time
tracing his line of credit.
- A loan, has he lost his mind?
- There he is, Aldo, Aldo!
(children chatter)
(suspenseful music)
(door thuds)
(Aldo groans)
(gun clatters)
(punches thud)
- I know you're trying
to kill Vince Terranova.
What I don't know is why.
Now you're gonna tell me, right?
(Aldo screams)
(Aldo thuds)
Damn.
(crowd clamors)
(suspenseful music)
(engine rumbles)
(Vince groans)
- So what's the joke, Roger?
- Ah, you're the joke, Vince.
Profitt's so depressed
that he wasn't the target
of an assassination,
he's locked himself in his
room, and he won't come out.
- That's great.
I guess that means I have to
give this good luck charm back.
- Hey, that's no
charm, that's magic.
Profitt voodoo.
- Yeah.
- Yeah, don't take
it so lightly.
The man has an IQ of over 200
and he prays to hat racks,
you figure it out, but
don't think it's not real.
I've seen him at ritual lost
in some blind zombie state,
it's not a pretty sight.
- So what's with the teeth?
- Things are never what
they seem, are they, Vince?
Imagine Aldo Baglia
slipping in grease.
Shoulda seen the
look on his face
as he went over the
side of the building.
Ah!
Life is full of surprises,
isn't it, Vince?
I bet you have a few
surprises for me.
I know I have a few
surprises for you.
("Wiseguy Theme" by Mike Post)