Wipeout (2021–…): Season 1, Episode 14 - Nips, Flips 'n' Dips - full transcript
This week will have you were saying, "Oh deer"; Bambi makes an appearance, along with middle school sweethearts and camp counselors, for a shot at winning the $25,000 prize.
Whoa! This is wild.
Nope. This is "Wipeout."
Oh.
No!
The big balls are back,
America.
Ahh!
I’m Nicole Byer.
And I’m John Cena.
We’ll be your guides
as we reintroduce you
to the most insane
competition show known to man.
Oh!
Ah!
She got hit hard, but that’s
the game of "Wipeout."
Ole.
Each week teams of two
will compete for their share
of the $25,000 grand prize.
The courses are crazier.
Whoo!
Ahh!
Yes!
Ah!
The contestants are bendier.
That one’s got to hurt.
And the hosts are sexier.
Beauty and brawn.
Brains and brawn.
Funny and brawn.
Don’t set their expectations
too high, Nicole.
What if we don’t deliver?
Welcome back, America,
to "Wipeout!"
Hello, America, and welcome
to "Wipeout."
Today a new group of teams
will take on our wild
obstacle course
for the chance to win $25,000.
I’m John Cena.
And I’m John Cena’s worst
nightmare, Nicole Byer.
Heh.
How are you my worst nightmare?
John, let’s face it.
I’m younger, cooler,
and have recently been offered
several roles
passed up by The Rock.
It’s not looking good
for you out there, buddy.
Thanks for paving
the way, though.
Got to respect the OGs.
Let’s pave the way
for everyone at home
by telling them about our first
course, the qualifier.
Our teams will face
the qualifier today,
a five-part obstacle course
behemoth.
First, they’ll need
to jump through
our spinning rings
at the Hoop Hopper.
Then they’ll have to keep
their balance at Rumble Road.
Next up, a "Wipeout"
classic, the Big Balls.
Make it across and grab
Smallsy for a $250 bonus.
After that,
it’s the Body Blender.
Jump the hurdles or get cut
down in the process.
And finally, the players
end with a swinging
and swing Jigglelator
before a final leap
to the finish platform.
The six fastest teams
to finish the qualifier
make it through
to the next round.
Let’s go check in
with our host
in the field, Camille Kostek.
Thanks, guys.
I’m down here with Ricky
and Rick,
father-son duo, on set.
Yeah!
Yeah!
We’re so close actually
that we have our same
third nipple out here cut out.
Whoa.
Cool. The Three-nip Ricks.
I guess the nipple doesn’t
fall far from the tree.
Look at him
pulling off of that.
You’re proud of those two
hairs.
What do you think will give you
a leg up on the competition?
This is my secret
to success down here.
For those keeping track
at home,
that’s three nips, one foot.
I clicked on that video once
and immediately regretted it.
All right.
Yeah! Let’s go, baby!
Whoo!
Isn’t he gonna need that?
Let’s go, Rick!
"Wipeout’s" like
the new playing catch.
Oh!
Well, Ricky didn’t quite
catch the ledge there.
Yeah, he’s got to warm up.
Swim through.
Swim through.
Swim it out.
Ricky moves on
to Rumble Road.
Oh!
Ooh. Who would’ve thought
the weight
of one extra nipple would
bring the whole bridge down?
Whoo.
Now big Rick bolts
towards the Hoop Hopper.
Oh! And he takes a tumble.
He definitely made it
farther than his son
but still fell off.
He’s like the Gary Busey
of "Wipeout."
Don’t talk about
Jake Busey that way.
Whoo!
Big Rick takes a drive down
Rumble Road. Ooh.
Oh!
Like father, like son.
How adorable is that?
I just really hope
all their nipples are okay.
Eh, men don’t
need them anyway.
You think he’s talking about
the course or his third nip?
Unclear. Here’s Daddy Rick
on the Jigglelator.
Now that I think
about it, John,
the obstacles are
a lot like nipples.
How?
They come in various shapes,
sizes, and colors,
and they both look nice
after a wax.
Here come the nip slips.
Rick stands, gets ready
for the jump, and whew.
Wasn’t expecting that.
Well, he’s not the only one
with hidden parts
that pop out.
And the Three-Nip Ricks
finish with a brisk time
of 7 minutes and 13 seconds.
All five nipples are here!
Oh, wait.
While Camille
does a recount,
let’s meet our next team.
These are the Midwesties,
Megan and Keegan.
They hail from Michigan,
and don’t you know
they couldn’t be prouder. Oh.
Well, she clearly
misses the lake.
Also, are you sure
that’s a Michigan accent?
No, but it’s fun.
You want to learn more
about these two?
Oh, you betcha.
Come with.
I’m Megan.
I’m Keegan.
And we are...
The Midwesties.
Who wants to play cornhole?
We are both from Michigan,
and we’re very close.
We are kind of like
siblings.
We fight, but we kind of bring
out the best in each other.
Our strategy for "Wipeout"
is to not hesitate.
As soon as you hesitate,
that’s when
they really get you.
Let’s see if Megan takes
her own advice
about not hesitating.
No hesitation!
Okay.
Aw, jeez.
Oh!
I hesitated.
Megan was a little
too polite
at the Big Ball intersection,
and she got shnookered.
Oh, yah. That
Motivator’ll getcha.
Hi, guys.
I thought people from
the Midwest were a lot nicer.
On the Jigglelator, Keegan
sails over those hurdles
like he’s back on
Lake Michigan.
Keegan, made some chili
for ya.
You know what would go great
with chili, Nicole?
Yah?
Some pop.
You’re darn tootin’.
Well, let’s see if
the Midwesties make it through.
Their time of 7 minutes
and 40 seconds
is a little slower
than the Three-Nip Ricks.
They just didn’t want
to be rude, John.
Yeah!
Up next,
the Church Camp Counselors.
I’m down here
with Courtney and Jake.
Welcome to "Wipeout."
Whoo!
How do you guys
know each other?
We’re camp counselors.
Absolutely.
I have never been someone
who went to camp,
so is there anything
that can make me feel like
I’m, like, at camp right now?
Do you have a cheer or a chant
or anything you do
with everybody?
M-O-V-E. Jump across
the balls to victory.
This chant rocks.
Nicole, are you thinking
what I’m thinking?
That I’m so glad
I never went to church camp?
No. Big ball montage.
Jump across
the balls to victory.
Oh, yeah, baby.
I love camp.
You dress up
in your underwear
and fly around a stage.
Of course you love camp.
M-O-V-E.
Jump across
the balls to victory.
M-O-V-E. Jump across
the balls to victory.
M-O-V-E. Jump across
the balls to victory.
M-O-V-E. Jump across
the balls to victory.
S-T-O-P. This song’s really
starting to bug me.
To victory.
Who we got next?
Here are the Go-Getters,
Margo and Mariah,
two ambitious young women
who work in male-dominated
fields.
Tell me about yourselves.
What do you do?
I’m a PhD student
in bioengineering.
Wow.
And I work in politics.
I just want everyone to know
that there’s nothing
that can hold us back.
Anything men can do,
we can do better.
Yes, baby! Say it louder
for the people in the back.
Anything men can do,
we can do better!
Whoo!
Go!
Not even if I had one.
While these two kick ass
in male-dominated fields,
let’s see how well they do
on obstacle-dominated ones.
Oh!
Oh, no!
No, Margot.
No, Margot.
Is she all right?
She’s fine, John.
She’s a woman,
so her pain tolerance,
it’s higher than yours.
I’m just waiting for the day
when women don’t have to jump
through hoops all the time.
But that’s how
the course works.
Don’t defend it, John.
Sorry. Here’s Mariah
giving the Hoop Hopper a shot.
You got this!
Oh.
And Mariah foregoes jumping
through that ring altogether.
What a statement.
She doesn’t need a ring.
She knows her worth.
Anything men can do,
women can do better.
Mariah on the Jigglelator
doing what she does best,
getting over
the hurdles put in her way.
Would be nice if they
weren’t put there in
the first place though.
Okay.
Well, there’s no more hurdles
for the rest of the way.
Good.
Oh!
That doesn’t taste good!
Hey, hidden hurdles
count too.
See how tough
it is for us, John?
If it’s not one thing,
it’s another.
You know,
I’m starting to get it.
With a time of 6 minutes
and 47 seconds, the Go-Getters
are a statistical lock
for the gauntlet.
How you feeling?
Um, like,
anything men can do,
women can do better.
You’re moving on
to the gauntlet.
Congratulations.
Whoo!
Say it, John.
Anything men can do,
women can do better.
Well, now that John’s
put himself
on the right side of history,
you should too by staying put.
More qualifier hits
and giggles on the way.
Comedians are expendable.
Pretty people are
who they want.
You can cut someone funny.
But if you’re like
a weird-looking person,
you got to try harder.
I’m glad we found each other.
Welcome back to "Wipeout."
We’ve seen
the first batch of teams
take on today’s qualifier.
Nicole, you have
to absolutely love--
John, I am over you
telling me what I have to love.
Borscht is disgusting.
"Stargate" put me to sleep.
Every book you have
ever loaned me
I immediately resold on Amazon.
I was gonna say you have
to love today’s competition.
Oh. Then I guess
you do know me well after all.
Let’s just meet
our next team.
I’m sorry.
Hey, did you eat the borscht
hot or cold?
I don’t know.
It was real moist.
Never grow up!
Never surrender! Whoo!
"Never surrender?"
Are they Navy SEALs?
No, they’re...
Middle school sweethearts!
Yeah!
Wow.
Good for them.
I don’t think I’ve kept
anything
from my middle school days.
You mean besides
your love of jorts?
No way.
I started wearing
those in college.
I’m Samantha.
I’m Andrew.
We met as teenagers,
and we’ve been in love
ever since.
Our biggest
obsession is Disney.
And LEGO.
I even built a "Wipeout" set.
Our strategy is
just go, go, go!
When we win the money, we’re
going to Walt Disney World!
Or buy LEGO.
Disney World.
Disney LEGO World?
You got it, baby!
Why don’t we just give them
the theme park experience
here at "Wipeout" World?
Looks like
there’s no wait time
for the bridge to Neverland.
Ah!
Ooh.
And she still uses
her fast pass.
Swim!
Only the guys shrink
in there, honey.
Welcome to the Body Blender.
Ladies and gentlemen,
please keep all personal items
stowed away
and raise your arms
for the yellow safety bar.
Ahh!
Oh!
You can purchase a print
at the end of the ride,
and don’t you dare take
a photo
of it on your phone.
Undeterred
by that last ride,
Samantha heads
straight to the Jigglelator.
And the fact that she’s
under the height limit
isn’t slowing her down.
You got this.
I can’t make that.
Yes, you can.
There’s stairs right there.
Oh, there’s stairs.
Well, that’s convenient. Oh!
Oof!
Those are the stairs
that force you right
into the gift shop
where you can mortgage
your house for a key chain.
Just like
their relationship,
Forever Young
goes the long haul,
finishing in just under
10 minutes.
We’re going to Disney World.
Whoo!
Whoo.
All right, you guys--
Lookit. It’s Bambi.
It is.
What happened
to Bambi’s mom?
Nothing, John.
And lived happily ever after.
Oh. Thank God.
Hey, "Wipeout" Nation,
we know how much the show
means to you,
and we really appreciate
the love,
so John and I
wanted to give you a chance
to own part of the show.
Don’t bring me into this.
Introducing "Wipeout" water,
bottled right at the source,
our very own course.
Ew.
The purest, most
delicious water out there,
"Wipeout" water
is untouched by man.
That’s absolutely not true.
And protected
from external elements.
I peed my pants.
Oh, I got to pee.
I’m way ahead of you
on that, bud.
It’s naturally filtered.
And by that she means,
"Not at all."
And collected
at the end of the course.
Throwing up at the end
of the course so you guys know.
After all that, we store it
in one of air-tight barrels.
Okay, stop. Stop.
Nicole, I can’t let you
give this to our viewers.
Give? Please, John.
We’re selling it
for three easy payments--
Okay, no more.
No more money-making schemes,
Nicole. This is done.
Ugh. Fine. So much red tape
for entrepreneurs these days.
Let’s meet our next team.
Whoo! Daddy needs 25k
to pay the babysitter.
Oh, baby,
go spank those balls.
Yeah! Dirty big balls.
Spank those big balls, baby.
Send ’em to bed
without their dinner.
Whoo!
Well, are we gonna watch
them spank each other all day,
or can we go to the video?
I’m Whitney.
I’m Mitch.
And we are...
Offspring Breakers.
We’ve been married
nine years,
and we have three
beautiful children,
a three-year-old
and ten-month twins.
We are so excited
to be on "Wipeout,"
because we have not been
on a date
since the twins have been born.
Having three small kids
definitely helps us
with our heightened senses
when those big balls
start attacking.
We came for the prize money.
We got to pay the babysitter
somehow. We’re gonna win.
True.
Well, it’s date night here
on "Wipeout."
Here’s Whitney rushing
to get a good table.
Ooh.
And she gets an ocean view.
Don’t lose that ring.
That’s $1.50.
I guess love
don’t cost a thing.
It should cost more
than that.
Speaking of rings,
Mitch is charging toward
the Hoop Hopper, and wow.
Super-dad flies right through
that moving hole.
That’s supposed to happen at
the end of the night, Mitch.
We haven’t even taken
your order yet.
Whoo!
Speaking of which...
Holy cow!
One holy cow medium rare
for the lady.
Oh!
And the surf and turf
special for Mitch.
Nicole, you’re single.
Have you ever gone
on a date like this?
With two married people?
Yes, but it wasn’t on purpose.
No, this is definitely
harder
than giving birth to twins.
What?
Okay, we need a quick PSA.
This is a public
service announcement
from your "Wipeout" hosts.
Then you’re doing it wrong.
This was a public service
announcement
from your "Wipeout" hosts.
On second thought, depending
on how small the twins are,
the course may be harder.
Well, it’s the final stretch
for Mitch’s night
at the Jigglelator.
The dreaded part
of any date night.
You’re just trying
to pass out,
but the kids start crying
and you trip over toys
in their room,
and then they vomit
all over you.
That was beautiful, babe.
That’s like WWE.
Oh, Mitch,
this is nothing like WWE.
Oh! But that is.
And also that. And so is that.
Whoo!
With the body slam.
Talk to me after taking
a folding chair
across your back.
Mitch tags in his partner
for a little backup here.
She’s got this.
Oh!
Aw!
They just wanted
one special night.
That’s it. Just one, John.
Call the babysitter
and tell her
it’ll be a little bit longer.
With a strong time
of 6 minutes and 52 seconds,
the Offspring Breakers
advance to the gauntlet.
The date will go on.
Congratulations, you guys.
Yeah.
We ain’t going home yet.
John and Nicole, back to you.
Joining the Offspring
Breakers in the second round
will be the Go-Getters who
went and got that top time
of the day along with
Three-Nip Ricks,
the Midwesties,
the Church Camp Counselors,
and hey, look at that,
those mouse-ear-wearing
middle school sweethearts,
Forever Young.
Hope you had your kicks
in the qualifier,
because now the kicks
get even harder.
The gauntlet is next.
And it’s borscht?
Borscht.
Borst.
Borscht.
Borst?
It’s the sound it makes
when it hits the porcelain.
Welcome back to "Wipeout."
Six teams have made it
past the qualifier
and still have a chance
at that sweet $25,000,
but first they’ve got a date
with the gauntlet.
Speaking of dates,
I had one last night.
Oh, how’d it go?
Oh, he was nice,
but he was texting
with his mom the whole time,
and that, my friend, ooh,
that’s a real red flag.
Wait, why is it bad
to be texting my mommy?
I mean, "my mama."
I mean, "my mother." I mean,
"the matriarch of my family?"
Just tell us about
the gauntlet, John.
The gauntlet will be done
in two heats.
Each heat with three teams
competing at the same time
will be practically
climbing over one another
starting at the Carous-Hell.
Then it’s a footrace through
the disgusting mud
pits and slippery slopes
of the Messy Mile.
And finally,
the Pummel Pool,
where the choice between
the revolving French Fries
and the giant
spinning lollipop
could make or break it all.
The first team to have both
members cross the finish line
moves on to the Wipeout Zone.
The teams competing
in this first heat
are the Lord-loving Church
Camp Counselors...
I think I’m--
I am way more scared
in this one than the other.
The triple nipple duo,
Three-Nip Ricks...
Remember, the first person
that land’s
got to help the other guy.
Yeah.
And the glass
ceiling-shattering Go-Getters.
We got this.
I hope.
We hope.
Congratulations.
You guys have made it
to the gauntlet.
Are you ready?
Whoo!
Three, two, one.
Heat one, here we go.
You forgot to say
"three," Rick.
We’re counting how many
nipples he has, right?
And with a little muscle
and a dash of prayer,
Jake lands.
Nice.
Nice, Jake.
And it’s working.
And now Margot’s going for it.
Watch out
for the Go-Getters.
They finished first place
in the qualifier
and could be the favorites
in the gauntlet.
Jake grabbing ahold
of the dangler.
He is really clenching
those thighs.
This reminds me of my
mechanical bull-riding days.
Days? Now I’m curious.
I can’t say any more, John.
I’ve already
broken the first rule.
Fair enough.
Look.
Church Camp Jake has escaped
the fires of the Carous-Hell.
Eager to meet him
at the bridge, his teammate
Courtney lands the propeller.
Take your time
getting up on that.
And Mariah,
the Go-Getter, gets going.
Nice, Mariah.
Thanks, Margot.
I love seeing women
support women,
being each other’s bruhs.
It’s beautiful.
Margot loses her grip
on the dangler
and shatters
the glass waters below.
Looks like the Ricks
and their many nips
are catching up.
Jump up. Jump up.
Courtney tries to swing
over to Jake. Can she hang on?
Ooh. Wonder what she did
to deserve that.
You’re all right.
Remember that.
Margot the Go-Getter’s
on the hanging hoop.
Can she make it to the bridge?
She does!
Feeling good, Margot?
Hell, yes.
Big Daddy Rick hanging
in there with the youngsters.
His legs absorbing that
sweeper bar nicely.
And now all three teams have
someone waiting on the bridge.
Inspired by Papa-nips,
Ricky finally
gets in the game.
Meanwhile, Courtney’s
getting the rag-doll treatment
from the sweeper bar.
Another one. Another one.
Another one.
No!
Ooh.
Let go. Let go. Let go. Good.
Good.
The Camp Counselors
are moving on
to the Messy Mile,
and Ricky...
Feet first.
Despite their lead,
Jake looks like
he’s struggling.
Ugh.
If you remember,
the Camp Counselor
had some trouble keeping
things down in the qualifier.
Don’t worry.
We got Barfy the Trash Can
on hand in case
Jake has another incident.
Hi. I’m Barfy,
and I’m real hungry.
I’m gonna say it right now.
I don’t like Barfy.
Well, I think
he’s kind of cute.
Hold on tight.
Well, with the Campers
slowing down...
You got this.
This could be
the perfect time
for the Go-Getters
to close the gap.
You got me!
Yes.
And the Go-Getters move on
and are hot
on the Camp Counselors’ trail.
There you go. Take your time.
If there’s one thing Rick
keeps nailing,
it’s taking his time.
Now on the zip line,
the Go-Getters are nipping
at the heels
of our Camp Counselors.
I thought we were leaving
the nipping to the Ricks.
Well, I mean, they’re doing
some nipping too.
Don’t worry about them.
You just concentrate.
Here’s Ricky on the swing.
Oh!
Ow.
Well, despite the prospect
of future generations
of Ricks now in question,
the Three-Nip Ricks advance to
the next phase of the course.
Yeah, I bet.
Just ahead of them
on Mount Wipeout,
the Go-Getters have caught up
to the Camp Counselors.
I might puke, so get
a trash can ready out there.
Did somebody call Barfy?
No, Barfy.
Nobody wants to see that.
Oh, gee.
He’s just trying
to help, John.
Well, we got more
important matters at hand,
because the Go-Getters
and the Church Camp Counselors
are both dropping into
the final part of the course.
The Pummel Pool.
Ahh!
Neck-and-neck.
Who’s it gonna be?
Margot the Go-Getter goes
right after that pink ball
and lands beautifully
on the tippy table.
You’re a beast, Margot!
Now channeling her
inner tiger,
Margot leaps and makes it
onto the next platform.
And not far behind,
Big Rick is giving his son
a boost up the mountain.
You know, that kind of stuff
gets me every time.
No more crying at work,
John.
Talk about some
father-son bonding.
Camp Counselor Jake
makes his M-O-V-E
over the pink ball.
He makes it on a wing
and a prayer.
And look. The Three-Nip
Ricks have worked their way
to the top of Mount Wipeout.
Anybody’s game
in the gauntlet.
Courtney charges forward
to give her team
the advantage
over the Go-Getters.
Oh, but she backslides off
the tippy table
into the water.
Ooh, she is not
a happy camper.
This is fast! Fast!
The notoriously
nauseous Jake
goes for the spinning lollipop
over the French Fries.
Ugh.
Jake, how you feeling, pal?
Not good.
Please. Please, Jake.
Please, God. No.
I guess I’ll just go
hungry another day.
Now Mariah lands
the pink ball
while Margot eyes
the fries and...
Dang.
That’s just disrespectful.
Thank you for being
an ally, John.
Mariah’s caught up
to her teammate,
and now she’s
attempting the fries.
And she powers
through another obstacle.
Oh, hell yeah.
Ready for the finish line?
Here we go.
And Mariah of the Go-Getters
might be the first
to cross the finish line
if she makes this last jump.
There it is.
She did it.
You did it.
Oh, my God!
But her teammate
still has to join her.
Five people remain
in the Pummel Pool.
5 people, 12 nipples.
Rick makes an aggressive
play for the tippy table.
Oh.
That does not go his way.
Margot’s back for
some French Fry redemption.
Can she make it
through this time?
Yes! Way to come
back stronger, girl.
Go, Margot!
Bring it home, baby.
Bring it home.
Margot is so close.
Margot’s just one hop
away now.
Come on. Whoo!
There it is. There it is.
And the Go-Getters
have vanquished the gauntlet.
Congratulations.
You guys are going
to the Wipeout Zone.
We’re going to
the Wipeout Zone!
Whoo!
The Go-Getters shatter
the glass gauntlet
and will live to wipeout
another course.
Next, three more teams
compete for gauntlet glory.
Then we take
our unhealthy splash obsession
to a whole new level
in the Wipeout Zone.
Oh, boy! I don’t know!
Ah!
I’d like to be
drunk in public.
It’s a lot more
socially acceptable
than being drunk in private.
It is.
We’re back, America.
Hey, Nicole, notice anything
different about me?
Your left peck is a little
bit bigger than your right one?
Yeah.
This arm is getting
just too much work
from carrying the show.
I do all the heavy
lifting up here.
Then prove it.
Let’s see your best toss.
Okay. Let’s go back down
to the course
and check out the second heat
of this gauntlet.
Ooh, you’re good.
Who will be joining
Go-Getters in
the Wipeout Zone?
Middle school
sweethearts Forever Young?
Scroll down?
Scroll down.
The high school buds,
the Midwesties.
I’m just gonna do it.
I’m just gonna wing it, man.
Just do it.
Or parents on borrowed time,
the Offspring Breakers?
I’ll just do what you do.
Assuming that works.
Are you ready?
Yeah!
Three, two, one.
That horn can only mean
one thing.
Lunch?
No, it’s the second heat
of the gauntlet. Ooh.
Mitch from the Offspring
Breakers lands on his first
try and saves money
on a vasectomy in the process.
Bear hug it. You got it.
Nice.
Now Mitch’s wife Whitney
lands the propeller
on her first try.
You got it, girl.
Three, two, one.
Now the Offspring Breakers
take the early lead.
Keegan puts the Midwesties
on the gauntlet map
with that drop.
Oh, my gosh.
Speaking of,
there’s not a drop of water
on these players.
Where are my wipeouts at?
Mitch clings tight to that
ring like
the committed husband he is.
Smart move for a married man
approaching a bar.
And the Offspring Breaker’s
the first
to make it across
the Carous-Hell.
And still no wipeouts.
I love a good steak.
Not wanting to make
the propeller feel too
uncomfortable, Midwestie
Megan goes for the side hug.
Good job. Good job.
Now that’s five moves
with no wipeouts.
I can’t even do that
in the shower.
Whitney could push her team
through to the next obstacle
right here.
Oh!
Mama gets the epidural shot
in the back.
Can she get there
one-handed?
Get up there.
You got it! You can do it!
Nice.
Yes! Amazing.
Six moves.
Let’s see that again.
Whitney showing
some major mom strength
hanging with one hand
on the triangle
and reaching for the platform
with the other.
Now that’s multitasking.
You all right?
Yeah. I’m picking the date
next time.
Back on the ledge,
I--I don’t know
if I can do this.
Uh--
I said the same thing
to my agent, but here we are.
"Wipeout" on TBS.
Midwestie Keegan looks a lot
more determined though.
You got it. Stay with it.
I haven’t seen someone
from Michigan
that strung out since
Tim Allen in college.
Yes. He’s completed
the Carous-Hell.
And still no wipeouts.
This has got to be
a gauntlet record.
And if not, I’m sure one of
you Reddit nerds
will let me know.
Speaking of
gauntlet records, I think
Forever Young
are trying to set one
for least muscles moved.
I’m not going, so...
So ice cream?
Ice cream sounds great.
I think they just quit.
These two gave up
on "Wipeout"
the way they gave up on liking
new things after age 12.
And here’s Megan over
the sweeper bar,
and the Midwesties
are advancing.
Eight moves, no wipeouts.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah, baby.
What the?
The Offspring Breakers
take on the zip line.
Can Mitch keep the
no-wipeout streak going?
Yes!
Oh, but he can’t plant
his feet on the platform.
That’s a slip,
not a wipeout.
The streak goes on.
Yeah, baby!
Long live the streak.
Now Whitney’s
on the zip line and--Oh!
Oh, man!
It was fun
while it lasted, huh?
So much fun.
Whitney lands right
on her back,
slides into the mud pit,
and the streak is over.
You know what though?
I kind of missed wipeouts.
Me too.
They’re right behind us.
The Offspring Breakers
forging ahead
with the Midwesties
coming up right behind them.
We got a real footrace,
Nicole.
And they’re all gonna smell
like feet
when the Messy Mile’s
done with them.
Oh, no. They’re all scaling
Mount Wipeout.
This is shaping up to be
a nail-biter, folks.
These two teams are racing
to the top of Mount Wipeout
all at once.
Now at the peak,
all four remaining contestants
drop into the final leg of
the course, the Pummel Pool.
It kind of looks like a fun
pool party. I want to swim.
Put your pants back
on, Nicole.
Anybody’s game
in the gauntlet.
Offspring Breaker Whitney
kicks off
this Big Ball battle,
but oh, she falls off
the tippy table.
Now Mitch gives it a go.
And he makes it over the pink
ball and the tippy table
in one swift move.
All that bouncy house
experience came in handy.
Midwestie Megan goes
for it too.
Oh, but she hesitates on the
pink ball and goes down.
Let’s see if her teammate,
Keegan, has better luck.
You got it, Keegan.
Ooh!
And the Michigander
makes it.
I made it, Meg.
Good job, best friend.
See, John?
It’s not weird for me
to call you my best friend.
Not even when it’s through
my bedroom window
at 4:00 a.m.?
Did you just do one
or two sets?
I did one on the Big Ball
and then a couple
on here and jump.
Here she goes.
Go get your man, Whitney.
He’s waiting for you.
And she makes it
into his loving arms.
Now Megan is going.
No. No, she needs a second.
Papa Mitch goes with
the lollipop over the fries.
Sneaking sweets while
the kids are gone? Bad dad.
And now Megan with a huge
leap bounces
swiftly past the ball
and slides home.
You got it.
The Midwesties
are making moves.
Let’s go this way.
Keegan goes for
the French Fries.
He loses his footing
for a second and...
Oh! He didn’t deserve that.
Let’s see that again.
Immediately.
Ah! The replays are so
gorgeous, aren’t they?
Like "Wipeout" ballet.
Mitch looks ready to make
the leap off the lollipop.
Hang on. Yes! He’s on.
And just like that,
Offspring Breaker Mitch
has made it to the finish.
You’re in! You did it!
Good job.
Oh, my goodness, guys.
Language, Megan.
First team to make it to me
goes straight
to the Wipeout Zone.
We might need to slow this
down a little bit.
She sounds like every guy
I’ve ever dated.
And Keegan hops on the other
side of the lollipop.
Who will manage
to get off this ride first?
Ah!
Ooh.
And Megan can’t hang on.
Oh, shoot!
Whitney goes for the lolli,
and she makes it on!
Just as Keegan makes it off.
With one final hop
over the pink ball,
Keegan makes it
to the winner’s circle.
I made it, Megan!
Whichever partner gets there
first determines who’s
going to the Wipeout Zone.
So close, babe. I love you.
You got it.
Whitney gives it
another shot.
Ooh!
Come on, Megan!
That may have been
their best shot as Midwestie
Megan gets back on the lolli.
Fricking launch yourself,
and then grab on for your life.
And with a little bunny hop,
she finally makes it off.
Yeah, Megan! Come on!
Can she make
this final jump? Yes.
And the Midwesties have
squeaked out a victory
over the Offspring Breakers.
They have won the gauntlet.
Congratulations. You guys are
moving on to the Wipeout Zone.
John and Nicole, back to you.
Shucks,
that was a close one,
but the Midwesties are
advancing to the Wipeout Zone
to compete with the Go-Getters
for the $25,000 prize.
John and I are heading over
to the Wipeout Zone
for the action,
so don’t you dare move.
Ooh!
She did a cartwheel in the air.
Welcome back to "Wipeout."
We’ve made it
to the Wipeout Zone.
Oh, I am so excited,
I could scream.
Please don’t.
I’ve heard you scream before.
Oh, you’ve never heard
my real scream, John.
No, no, no. I always
fake my screams with you.
I can tell the difference
between a real scream
and a fake scream.
Ha. Of course you can, honey.
We’ve got $25,000 on the line.
Let’s take a look
at the course.
We’ve made it to the top
of the mountain,
the Wipeout Zone.
This colossal course
is made up of four stages
done relay style
with each contestant
attempting two obstacles.
The first team member
will get shot out
from our speeding
Silver Bullet
into freezing-cold
waters below.
From there, they’ll swim
to the giant spinning Vertigo
where they’ll attempt
to maneuver from peg to peg
without losing their grip
or their lunch.
They’ll need to press
the button in the middle
to lower the bridge before
they can leap to safety.
That’s when they’ll tag
their partner
to take on the Leap of Faith
where they’ll have
to launch themselves
onto one of the spinning arms,
maintain their balance,
and jump to the narrow
platform on the other side.
It’s tough, but if they
successfully make it across,
they’ll arrive
at the final challenge.
The Triple Threat.
If a contestant can somehow
make it
from one spinning hexagon
to the next
and safely leap
to the final platform
faster than their competition,
they’ll take home $25,000.
And the two brave teams
chosen for a Wipeout Zone-zin
are those women warriors,
the Go-Getters,
and our modest mayo-lovers,
the Midwesties.
Keegan and his teammate,
Megan,
who have repped Michigan
well so far...
Goodness.
Using that Midwestern
positivity
to pick each other up
all competition long.
Come on, Keegan. Whoo!
What am I doing?
But will it be enough
to carry
the Midwesties to victory?
Three, two, one.
Keegan’s strapped into
the Silver Bullet.
There he goes launched into
our version of Lake Michigan,
only Lake Wipeout
is much larger.
Whoo!
Let’s go, Keegan.
Just threw himself at it.
You got this.
And off we go.
Keegan makes his way
up the ramp to Vertigo
where he must mount
Vertigo, hit the button
to bring the ramp
down on the other side,
and land on the ramp
to let his partner
finish the rest of the course.
All right, let’s see
what Keegan does.
Yikes.
These Michigan
best friends...
Let’s go, Keegan.
Bringing their Michigan
pride
to the Wipeout Zone today.
If we were to use the map
of Michigan to denote
where Keegan is right now,
Keegan’s about right here.
He is.
And Keegan needs
to make it to here.
Just go as slow as you want.
And he’s made it
to the button.
Oh, wow.
He’s hit the button.
Wow. Keegan’s right here.
We’ve seen teams
hit that button quick...
Uh-oh.
Oh!
And that’s why.
Oof.
Round and around.
It just goes around and around.
Yes.
This is the hardest
Wipeout Zone ever...
It is.
In the history
of "Wipeout."
Keegan again mounting Vertigo.
He’s already hit the buttons,
and he knows it.
He looks poised
to make the leap.
Yes. Yes, Keegan.
He’s in a really
good position.
Yes, Keegan. Yes!
And he holds on.
Keegan tags in Megan.
Go, Big Blue. Here we go.
All right.
And these Michigan
best friends
have now passed off the baton.
Uh-huh.
Megan’s set to make
the Leap of Faith.
Ooh!
Oh! Ooh.
We’re gonna have to see
that one again.
Yeah.
I got to say, I think
Megan would’ve gotten it
if Megan didn’t hesitate.
I did the number one rule.
You hesitated. You got it.
Maybe she just likes
climbing the blue ladder,
’cause blue reminds her
of Big Blue Michigan State.
Nope. Michigan State
is green and white.
The University of Michigan
is Big Blue.
Oh, there we go.
How do you know
the colors of colleges?
I applied to both
and was promptly rejected.
Oh, no.
But it’s okay.
I’m gonna try again next year.
Yes!
Megan hung on.
And hangs on. She has made it
through the Leap of Faith.
Yo, I’ma stick to
board games from now on.
Come on, Megan.
It’s Triple Threat left,
and you got this.
25,000 big ones on the line.
Do it for Michigan.
Yes.
All of Michigan is watching.
And the Upper Peninsula
and the Lower Peninsula.
And that’s all the Michigan
knowledge I know. Yes.
Megan leaps first
over the first threat.
All these pieces moving
at different speeds,
and she just found
that out the hard way.
Yeah. Wow.
You got this.
The hard part’s over.
You just got to boom,
boom, boom.
Come on, Megan.
You can do it. You can do it.
Yes. Yes.
You’re almost there.
We’re doing good.
Should I stand on it?
Maybe, like, crouch.
And away she goes.
A different strategy.
Oh, yes. Okay.
Changed it right up.
Just a hamster on the wheel
right now,
but there’s $25,000,
girlfriend. You got it.
$25,000, baby!
Yes, oh, my God!
Yes!
You got it. You have--
Yeah, what’s that move
you’re doing?
I want to do it. Yeah, baby.
Yeah, baby.
Yeah, baby!
You got this.
Yes!
All right.
You’re almost there.
Whoo!
One more jump.
Got it.
All of Michigan is watching.
The leap! The landing! Yeah!
Yes!
Excellent job.
He’s like, "Megan!"
Whoo!
Keegan and Megan
very excited.
You both did very well.
Whoo!
Excellent job.
You guys are even
more beautiful in person.
Who? Me?
Both of you.
You are too kind.
Thank you very much.
Oh, my God. Thank you.
I’m loaded with foundation.
This not even me.
Call me.
Midwesties put that Michigan
muscle on full display
and finish the Wipeout Zone
in just under 8 minutes.
But can the Go-Getters top
that time
and take home the 25k?
Find out next.
Welcome back.
The competition here in
the Wipeout Zone is heating up.
It’s true.
If it gets any hotter,
John might
have to take his shirt off.
That’s true.
Also if it doesn’t get
any hotter,
I’m down to take my shirt off.
Basically I just really like
taking my shirt off.
Just say the word.
No.
Okay, that’s the word.
Let’s take a look
at our leaderboard.
Keep your clothes on.
Earlier, the Midwesties
did Michigan proud
and completed the Wipeout Zone
in 7 minutes and 59 seconds.
An ambitious goal
for the Go-Getters,
but can the determined
duo do it? Let’s find out.
Margot in the Silver Bullet.
She and Mariah
have obliterated
every barrier in their way
to get here
clocking the fastest times
in both the qualifier
and the gauntlet.
But the Go-Getters
have one more barrier to go.
Three, two, one.
And there she goes
launched at nearly the speed
of sound into Lake Wipeout.
Oh, my God.
She...
She did a cartwheel
in the air.
We don’t award points
for style.
I think we should.
I think we should.
That was very fun for me.
Come on!
Oh!
Oh, okay.
Margot on Vertigo right now,
and, Nicole, as you know,
she has to mount
the obstacle as she’s done,
and get to the middle
to hit the button.
You’re doing great.
Which releases the ramp
on the other side
and simply then
it’s a quick jump,
and the obstacle’s over.
Yes. Easier said than done.
Margot hanging on as she
plots her next move.
You got this, girl.
She is all sorts
of upside down.
But she got there.
But she made it
to the middle.
Hit the button. The ramp
is down, and so is she.
That was--she did, like,
the Running Man.
Yeah. Truly.
She sprinted to the water.
Margot and Mariah have been
going through the course
yelling at the top
of their lungs,
"Anything a man can do,
a woman can do better."
I mean, it’s true.
We know that that
is absolutely true.
She’s already hit the button,
so all she needs to do now
is just clear the obstacle.
Uh-huh.
Come on.
She is a computer--computer--
what is she?
A computational biologist.
So she’s taken all of
the computer sciences
and figuring it out.
Fall. Fall. Fall!
You got this, Margot.
You’re coming in.
Get on your feet. You got this.
I think she figured it out.
I think she’s gonna go for it.
She’s in a really good spot.
Yes. Yes!
She makes it.
High-five! High-five!
You got it. You got it.
You got it.
All right. Mariah...
Tags in Mariah.
Mariah now on the platform
for the Leap of Faith.
She has to jump
onto that swinging arm
that’s going across
at 88 miles an hour.
Okay, go.
Ah!
Oh!
Not as easy as it looks.
You got it. No worries.
No, no, no, no, no.
What was that strategy?
And we had another
Running Man type of leap.
Yep.
A little too late.
Yep. A little faster
than we thought.
Amazing. You’re amazing.
Yes.
Mariah is on the platform.
She’s got to get flat,
and she does.
Yes.
Ooh. She...
She almost came up
too quick.
Almost got decapitated.
She holds on. She navigates
the Leap of Faith.
Here we go, Mariah.
Triple Threat, you’re done.
You got this. Focus up.
You got this.
Hello.
How are you?
Ladies. Lady power.
Girl power.
You’re doing great.
Oh, boy. I don’t know!
Ah!
She just walked off that.
A brave start.
Truly. She’s like, "I’m just
gonna walk on these things."
That’s "Wipeout" big balls
right there.
Very big balls.
Very big lady balls.
They’re doing good,
but Megan and Keegan
had a very good time.
Yes.
She needs to hustle
on the Triple Threat.
Yes.
This is so nerve-racking.
She’s on the first
of the three threats.
Now to the middle, and she does
need to move swiftly...
All right. All right.
She’s moving very quick.
As Megan and
Keegan did have a good time.
Mariah making moves.
Mariah.
We’ve seen this approach
before.
Sometimes it baffles people
when they have
to leap to the landing level.
I think she’s figured it out.
I think she’s gonna
be okay here.
Yes.
And now that one last leap
for $25,000...
All right,
will Mariah do it?
Time it perfectly.
You got it. Slow and steady.
Focus up. You can do it.
There it is. And the leap.
And she makes it!
Ooh, yes!
She makes it.
A swift run through
the Triple Threat.
Was it indeed enough? Megan and
Keegan had a fast time.
Margot, Mariah,
it was a matter of seconds,
and you’ve been saying
the whole course,
"Anything a man can do, a woman
can do better," is that right?
Yes.
Yes, it is right, because
you’ve won the Wipeout Zone,
and you’ve won $25,000!
Whoo!
Yes, congrats.
This is amazing!
Nothing short of
inspirational, folks.
Margot and Mariah power
through the Wipeout Zone,
dominate the night,
and the Go-Getters
are taking home
the $25,000 prize.
And to all you little girls
watching at home,
remember, anything John Cena
can do, you can do better.
Oh, boy. What a competition.
I can’t wait to see
what we have in store next.
Me too, Nicole.
But let’s just take a second
and enjoy this.
You can take a second.
I’m already gearing up for next
week when more insane couples
will be here ready
to tackle the course.
Until then, I’m Nicole Byer.
And for Camille Kostek,
I’m John Cena--
still enjoying this--
saying good night
and big balls.
Nope. This is "Wipeout."
Oh.
No!
The big balls are back,
America.
Ahh!
I’m Nicole Byer.
And I’m John Cena.
We’ll be your guides
as we reintroduce you
to the most insane
competition show known to man.
Oh!
Ah!
She got hit hard, but that’s
the game of "Wipeout."
Ole.
Each week teams of two
will compete for their share
of the $25,000 grand prize.
The courses are crazier.
Whoo!
Ahh!
Yes!
Ah!
The contestants are bendier.
That one’s got to hurt.
And the hosts are sexier.
Beauty and brawn.
Brains and brawn.
Funny and brawn.
Don’t set their expectations
too high, Nicole.
What if we don’t deliver?
Welcome back, America,
to "Wipeout!"
Hello, America, and welcome
to "Wipeout."
Today a new group of teams
will take on our wild
obstacle course
for the chance to win $25,000.
I’m John Cena.
And I’m John Cena’s worst
nightmare, Nicole Byer.
Heh.
How are you my worst nightmare?
John, let’s face it.
I’m younger, cooler,
and have recently been offered
several roles
passed up by The Rock.
It’s not looking good
for you out there, buddy.
Thanks for paving
the way, though.
Got to respect the OGs.
Let’s pave the way
for everyone at home
by telling them about our first
course, the qualifier.
Our teams will face
the qualifier today,
a five-part obstacle course
behemoth.
First, they’ll need
to jump through
our spinning rings
at the Hoop Hopper.
Then they’ll have to keep
their balance at Rumble Road.
Next up, a "Wipeout"
classic, the Big Balls.
Make it across and grab
Smallsy for a $250 bonus.
After that,
it’s the Body Blender.
Jump the hurdles or get cut
down in the process.
And finally, the players
end with a swinging
and swing Jigglelator
before a final leap
to the finish platform.
The six fastest teams
to finish the qualifier
make it through
to the next round.
Let’s go check in
with our host
in the field, Camille Kostek.
Thanks, guys.
I’m down here with Ricky
and Rick,
father-son duo, on set.
Yeah!
Yeah!
We’re so close actually
that we have our same
third nipple out here cut out.
Whoa.
Cool. The Three-nip Ricks.
I guess the nipple doesn’t
fall far from the tree.
Look at him
pulling off of that.
You’re proud of those two
hairs.
What do you think will give you
a leg up on the competition?
This is my secret
to success down here.
For those keeping track
at home,
that’s three nips, one foot.
I clicked on that video once
and immediately regretted it.
All right.
Yeah! Let’s go, baby!
Whoo!
Isn’t he gonna need that?
Let’s go, Rick!
"Wipeout’s" like
the new playing catch.
Oh!
Well, Ricky didn’t quite
catch the ledge there.
Yeah, he’s got to warm up.
Swim through.
Swim through.
Swim it out.
Ricky moves on
to Rumble Road.
Oh!
Ooh. Who would’ve thought
the weight
of one extra nipple would
bring the whole bridge down?
Whoo.
Now big Rick bolts
towards the Hoop Hopper.
Oh! And he takes a tumble.
He definitely made it
farther than his son
but still fell off.
He’s like the Gary Busey
of "Wipeout."
Don’t talk about
Jake Busey that way.
Whoo!
Big Rick takes a drive down
Rumble Road. Ooh.
Oh!
Like father, like son.
How adorable is that?
I just really hope
all their nipples are okay.
Eh, men don’t
need them anyway.
You think he’s talking about
the course or his third nip?
Unclear. Here’s Daddy Rick
on the Jigglelator.
Now that I think
about it, John,
the obstacles are
a lot like nipples.
How?
They come in various shapes,
sizes, and colors,
and they both look nice
after a wax.
Here come the nip slips.
Rick stands, gets ready
for the jump, and whew.
Wasn’t expecting that.
Well, he’s not the only one
with hidden parts
that pop out.
And the Three-Nip Ricks
finish with a brisk time
of 7 minutes and 13 seconds.
All five nipples are here!
Oh, wait.
While Camille
does a recount,
let’s meet our next team.
These are the Midwesties,
Megan and Keegan.
They hail from Michigan,
and don’t you know
they couldn’t be prouder. Oh.
Well, she clearly
misses the lake.
Also, are you sure
that’s a Michigan accent?
No, but it’s fun.
You want to learn more
about these two?
Oh, you betcha.
Come with.
I’m Megan.
I’m Keegan.
And we are...
The Midwesties.
Who wants to play cornhole?
We are both from Michigan,
and we’re very close.
We are kind of like
siblings.
We fight, but we kind of bring
out the best in each other.
Our strategy for "Wipeout"
is to not hesitate.
As soon as you hesitate,
that’s when
they really get you.
Let’s see if Megan takes
her own advice
about not hesitating.
No hesitation!
Okay.
Aw, jeez.
Oh!
I hesitated.
Megan was a little
too polite
at the Big Ball intersection,
and she got shnookered.
Oh, yah. That
Motivator’ll getcha.
Hi, guys.
I thought people from
the Midwest were a lot nicer.
On the Jigglelator, Keegan
sails over those hurdles
like he’s back on
Lake Michigan.
Keegan, made some chili
for ya.
You know what would go great
with chili, Nicole?
Yah?
Some pop.
You’re darn tootin’.
Well, let’s see if
the Midwesties make it through.
Their time of 7 minutes
and 40 seconds
is a little slower
than the Three-Nip Ricks.
They just didn’t want
to be rude, John.
Yeah!
Up next,
the Church Camp Counselors.
I’m down here
with Courtney and Jake.
Welcome to "Wipeout."
Whoo!
How do you guys
know each other?
We’re camp counselors.
Absolutely.
I have never been someone
who went to camp,
so is there anything
that can make me feel like
I’m, like, at camp right now?
Do you have a cheer or a chant
or anything you do
with everybody?
M-O-V-E. Jump across
the balls to victory.
This chant rocks.
Nicole, are you thinking
what I’m thinking?
That I’m so glad
I never went to church camp?
No. Big ball montage.
Jump across
the balls to victory.
Oh, yeah, baby.
I love camp.
You dress up
in your underwear
and fly around a stage.
Of course you love camp.
M-O-V-E.
Jump across
the balls to victory.
M-O-V-E. Jump across
the balls to victory.
M-O-V-E. Jump across
the balls to victory.
M-O-V-E. Jump across
the balls to victory.
S-T-O-P. This song’s really
starting to bug me.
To victory.
Who we got next?
Here are the Go-Getters,
Margo and Mariah,
two ambitious young women
who work in male-dominated
fields.
Tell me about yourselves.
What do you do?
I’m a PhD student
in bioengineering.
Wow.
And I work in politics.
I just want everyone to know
that there’s nothing
that can hold us back.
Anything men can do,
we can do better.
Yes, baby! Say it louder
for the people in the back.
Anything men can do,
we can do better!
Whoo!
Go!
Not even if I had one.
While these two kick ass
in male-dominated fields,
let’s see how well they do
on obstacle-dominated ones.
Oh!
Oh, no!
No, Margot.
No, Margot.
Is she all right?
She’s fine, John.
She’s a woman,
so her pain tolerance,
it’s higher than yours.
I’m just waiting for the day
when women don’t have to jump
through hoops all the time.
But that’s how
the course works.
Don’t defend it, John.
Sorry. Here’s Mariah
giving the Hoop Hopper a shot.
You got this!
Oh.
And Mariah foregoes jumping
through that ring altogether.
What a statement.
She doesn’t need a ring.
She knows her worth.
Anything men can do,
women can do better.
Mariah on the Jigglelator
doing what she does best,
getting over
the hurdles put in her way.
Would be nice if they
weren’t put there in
the first place though.
Okay.
Well, there’s no more hurdles
for the rest of the way.
Good.
Oh!
That doesn’t taste good!
Hey, hidden hurdles
count too.
See how tough
it is for us, John?
If it’s not one thing,
it’s another.
You know,
I’m starting to get it.
With a time of 6 minutes
and 47 seconds, the Go-Getters
are a statistical lock
for the gauntlet.
How you feeling?
Um, like,
anything men can do,
women can do better.
You’re moving on
to the gauntlet.
Congratulations.
Whoo!
Say it, John.
Anything men can do,
women can do better.
Well, now that John’s
put himself
on the right side of history,
you should too by staying put.
More qualifier hits
and giggles on the way.
Comedians are expendable.
Pretty people are
who they want.
You can cut someone funny.
But if you’re like
a weird-looking person,
you got to try harder.
I’m glad we found each other.
Welcome back to "Wipeout."
We’ve seen
the first batch of teams
take on today’s qualifier.
Nicole, you have
to absolutely love--
John, I am over you
telling me what I have to love.
Borscht is disgusting.
"Stargate" put me to sleep.
Every book you have
ever loaned me
I immediately resold on Amazon.
I was gonna say you have
to love today’s competition.
Oh. Then I guess
you do know me well after all.
Let’s just meet
our next team.
I’m sorry.
Hey, did you eat the borscht
hot or cold?
I don’t know.
It was real moist.
Never grow up!
Never surrender! Whoo!
"Never surrender?"
Are they Navy SEALs?
No, they’re...
Middle school sweethearts!
Yeah!
Wow.
Good for them.
I don’t think I’ve kept
anything
from my middle school days.
You mean besides
your love of jorts?
No way.
I started wearing
those in college.
I’m Samantha.
I’m Andrew.
We met as teenagers,
and we’ve been in love
ever since.
Our biggest
obsession is Disney.
And LEGO.
I even built a "Wipeout" set.
Our strategy is
just go, go, go!
When we win the money, we’re
going to Walt Disney World!
Or buy LEGO.
Disney World.
Disney LEGO World?
You got it, baby!
Why don’t we just give them
the theme park experience
here at "Wipeout" World?
Looks like
there’s no wait time
for the bridge to Neverland.
Ah!
Ooh.
And she still uses
her fast pass.
Swim!
Only the guys shrink
in there, honey.
Welcome to the Body Blender.
Ladies and gentlemen,
please keep all personal items
stowed away
and raise your arms
for the yellow safety bar.
Ahh!
Oh!
You can purchase a print
at the end of the ride,
and don’t you dare take
a photo
of it on your phone.
Undeterred
by that last ride,
Samantha heads
straight to the Jigglelator.
And the fact that she’s
under the height limit
isn’t slowing her down.
You got this.
I can’t make that.
Yes, you can.
There’s stairs right there.
Oh, there’s stairs.
Well, that’s convenient. Oh!
Oof!
Those are the stairs
that force you right
into the gift shop
where you can mortgage
your house for a key chain.
Just like
their relationship,
Forever Young
goes the long haul,
finishing in just under
10 minutes.
We’re going to Disney World.
Whoo!
Whoo.
All right, you guys--
Lookit. It’s Bambi.
It is.
What happened
to Bambi’s mom?
Nothing, John.
And lived happily ever after.
Oh. Thank God.
Hey, "Wipeout" Nation,
we know how much the show
means to you,
and we really appreciate
the love,
so John and I
wanted to give you a chance
to own part of the show.
Don’t bring me into this.
Introducing "Wipeout" water,
bottled right at the source,
our very own course.
Ew.
The purest, most
delicious water out there,
"Wipeout" water
is untouched by man.
That’s absolutely not true.
And protected
from external elements.
I peed my pants.
Oh, I got to pee.
I’m way ahead of you
on that, bud.
It’s naturally filtered.
And by that she means,
"Not at all."
And collected
at the end of the course.
Throwing up at the end
of the course so you guys know.
After all that, we store it
in one of air-tight barrels.
Okay, stop. Stop.
Nicole, I can’t let you
give this to our viewers.
Give? Please, John.
We’re selling it
for three easy payments--
Okay, no more.
No more money-making schemes,
Nicole. This is done.
Ugh. Fine. So much red tape
for entrepreneurs these days.
Let’s meet our next team.
Whoo! Daddy needs 25k
to pay the babysitter.
Oh, baby,
go spank those balls.
Yeah! Dirty big balls.
Spank those big balls, baby.
Send ’em to bed
without their dinner.
Whoo!
Well, are we gonna watch
them spank each other all day,
or can we go to the video?
I’m Whitney.
I’m Mitch.
And we are...
Offspring Breakers.
We’ve been married
nine years,
and we have three
beautiful children,
a three-year-old
and ten-month twins.
We are so excited
to be on "Wipeout,"
because we have not been
on a date
since the twins have been born.
Having three small kids
definitely helps us
with our heightened senses
when those big balls
start attacking.
We came for the prize money.
We got to pay the babysitter
somehow. We’re gonna win.
True.
Well, it’s date night here
on "Wipeout."
Here’s Whitney rushing
to get a good table.
Ooh.
And she gets an ocean view.
Don’t lose that ring.
That’s $1.50.
I guess love
don’t cost a thing.
It should cost more
than that.
Speaking of rings,
Mitch is charging toward
the Hoop Hopper, and wow.
Super-dad flies right through
that moving hole.
That’s supposed to happen at
the end of the night, Mitch.
We haven’t even taken
your order yet.
Whoo!
Speaking of which...
Holy cow!
One holy cow medium rare
for the lady.
Oh!
And the surf and turf
special for Mitch.
Nicole, you’re single.
Have you ever gone
on a date like this?
With two married people?
Yes, but it wasn’t on purpose.
No, this is definitely
harder
than giving birth to twins.
What?
Okay, we need a quick PSA.
This is a public
service announcement
from your "Wipeout" hosts.
Then you’re doing it wrong.
This was a public service
announcement
from your "Wipeout" hosts.
On second thought, depending
on how small the twins are,
the course may be harder.
Well, it’s the final stretch
for Mitch’s night
at the Jigglelator.
The dreaded part
of any date night.
You’re just trying
to pass out,
but the kids start crying
and you trip over toys
in their room,
and then they vomit
all over you.
That was beautiful, babe.
That’s like WWE.
Oh, Mitch,
this is nothing like WWE.
Oh! But that is.
And also that. And so is that.
Whoo!
With the body slam.
Talk to me after taking
a folding chair
across your back.
Mitch tags in his partner
for a little backup here.
She’s got this.
Oh!
Aw!
They just wanted
one special night.
That’s it. Just one, John.
Call the babysitter
and tell her
it’ll be a little bit longer.
With a strong time
of 6 minutes and 52 seconds,
the Offspring Breakers
advance to the gauntlet.
The date will go on.
Congratulations, you guys.
Yeah.
We ain’t going home yet.
John and Nicole, back to you.
Joining the Offspring
Breakers in the second round
will be the Go-Getters who
went and got that top time
of the day along with
Three-Nip Ricks,
the Midwesties,
the Church Camp Counselors,
and hey, look at that,
those mouse-ear-wearing
middle school sweethearts,
Forever Young.
Hope you had your kicks
in the qualifier,
because now the kicks
get even harder.
The gauntlet is next.
And it’s borscht?
Borscht.
Borst.
Borscht.
Borst?
It’s the sound it makes
when it hits the porcelain.
Welcome back to "Wipeout."
Six teams have made it
past the qualifier
and still have a chance
at that sweet $25,000,
but first they’ve got a date
with the gauntlet.
Speaking of dates,
I had one last night.
Oh, how’d it go?
Oh, he was nice,
but he was texting
with his mom the whole time,
and that, my friend, ooh,
that’s a real red flag.
Wait, why is it bad
to be texting my mommy?
I mean, "my mama."
I mean, "my mother." I mean,
"the matriarch of my family?"
Just tell us about
the gauntlet, John.
The gauntlet will be done
in two heats.
Each heat with three teams
competing at the same time
will be practically
climbing over one another
starting at the Carous-Hell.
Then it’s a footrace through
the disgusting mud
pits and slippery slopes
of the Messy Mile.
And finally,
the Pummel Pool,
where the choice between
the revolving French Fries
and the giant
spinning lollipop
could make or break it all.
The first team to have both
members cross the finish line
moves on to the Wipeout Zone.
The teams competing
in this first heat
are the Lord-loving Church
Camp Counselors...
I think I’m--
I am way more scared
in this one than the other.
The triple nipple duo,
Three-Nip Ricks...
Remember, the first person
that land’s
got to help the other guy.
Yeah.
And the glass
ceiling-shattering Go-Getters.
We got this.
I hope.
We hope.
Congratulations.
You guys have made it
to the gauntlet.
Are you ready?
Whoo!
Three, two, one.
Heat one, here we go.
You forgot to say
"three," Rick.
We’re counting how many
nipples he has, right?
And with a little muscle
and a dash of prayer,
Jake lands.
Nice.
Nice, Jake.
And it’s working.
And now Margot’s going for it.
Watch out
for the Go-Getters.
They finished first place
in the qualifier
and could be the favorites
in the gauntlet.
Jake grabbing ahold
of the dangler.
He is really clenching
those thighs.
This reminds me of my
mechanical bull-riding days.
Days? Now I’m curious.
I can’t say any more, John.
I’ve already
broken the first rule.
Fair enough.
Look.
Church Camp Jake has escaped
the fires of the Carous-Hell.
Eager to meet him
at the bridge, his teammate
Courtney lands the propeller.
Take your time
getting up on that.
And Mariah,
the Go-Getter, gets going.
Nice, Mariah.
Thanks, Margot.
I love seeing women
support women,
being each other’s bruhs.
It’s beautiful.
Margot loses her grip
on the dangler
and shatters
the glass waters below.
Looks like the Ricks
and their many nips
are catching up.
Jump up. Jump up.
Courtney tries to swing
over to Jake. Can she hang on?
Ooh. Wonder what she did
to deserve that.
You’re all right.
Remember that.
Margot the Go-Getter’s
on the hanging hoop.
Can she make it to the bridge?
She does!
Feeling good, Margot?
Hell, yes.
Big Daddy Rick hanging
in there with the youngsters.
His legs absorbing that
sweeper bar nicely.
And now all three teams have
someone waiting on the bridge.
Inspired by Papa-nips,
Ricky finally
gets in the game.
Meanwhile, Courtney’s
getting the rag-doll treatment
from the sweeper bar.
Another one. Another one.
Another one.
No!
Ooh.
Let go. Let go. Let go. Good.
Good.
The Camp Counselors
are moving on
to the Messy Mile,
and Ricky...
Feet first.
Despite their lead,
Jake looks like
he’s struggling.
Ugh.
If you remember,
the Camp Counselor
had some trouble keeping
things down in the qualifier.
Don’t worry.
We got Barfy the Trash Can
on hand in case
Jake has another incident.
Hi. I’m Barfy,
and I’m real hungry.
I’m gonna say it right now.
I don’t like Barfy.
Well, I think
he’s kind of cute.
Hold on tight.
Well, with the Campers
slowing down...
You got this.
This could be
the perfect time
for the Go-Getters
to close the gap.
You got me!
Yes.
And the Go-Getters move on
and are hot
on the Camp Counselors’ trail.
There you go. Take your time.
If there’s one thing Rick
keeps nailing,
it’s taking his time.
Now on the zip line,
the Go-Getters are nipping
at the heels
of our Camp Counselors.
I thought we were leaving
the nipping to the Ricks.
Well, I mean, they’re doing
some nipping too.
Don’t worry about them.
You just concentrate.
Here’s Ricky on the swing.
Oh!
Ow.
Well, despite the prospect
of future generations
of Ricks now in question,
the Three-Nip Ricks advance to
the next phase of the course.
Yeah, I bet.
Just ahead of them
on Mount Wipeout,
the Go-Getters have caught up
to the Camp Counselors.
I might puke, so get
a trash can ready out there.
Did somebody call Barfy?
No, Barfy.
Nobody wants to see that.
Oh, gee.
He’s just trying
to help, John.
Well, we got more
important matters at hand,
because the Go-Getters
and the Church Camp Counselors
are both dropping into
the final part of the course.
The Pummel Pool.
Ahh!
Neck-and-neck.
Who’s it gonna be?
Margot the Go-Getter goes
right after that pink ball
and lands beautifully
on the tippy table.
You’re a beast, Margot!
Now channeling her
inner tiger,
Margot leaps and makes it
onto the next platform.
And not far behind,
Big Rick is giving his son
a boost up the mountain.
You know, that kind of stuff
gets me every time.
No more crying at work,
John.
Talk about some
father-son bonding.
Camp Counselor Jake
makes his M-O-V-E
over the pink ball.
He makes it on a wing
and a prayer.
And look. The Three-Nip
Ricks have worked their way
to the top of Mount Wipeout.
Anybody’s game
in the gauntlet.
Courtney charges forward
to give her team
the advantage
over the Go-Getters.
Oh, but she backslides off
the tippy table
into the water.
Ooh, she is not
a happy camper.
This is fast! Fast!
The notoriously
nauseous Jake
goes for the spinning lollipop
over the French Fries.
Ugh.
Jake, how you feeling, pal?
Not good.
Please. Please, Jake.
Please, God. No.
I guess I’ll just go
hungry another day.
Now Mariah lands
the pink ball
while Margot eyes
the fries and...
Dang.
That’s just disrespectful.
Thank you for being
an ally, John.
Mariah’s caught up
to her teammate,
and now she’s
attempting the fries.
And she powers
through another obstacle.
Oh, hell yeah.
Ready for the finish line?
Here we go.
And Mariah of the Go-Getters
might be the first
to cross the finish line
if she makes this last jump.
There it is.
She did it.
You did it.
Oh, my God!
But her teammate
still has to join her.
Five people remain
in the Pummel Pool.
5 people, 12 nipples.
Rick makes an aggressive
play for the tippy table.
Oh.
That does not go his way.
Margot’s back for
some French Fry redemption.
Can she make it
through this time?
Yes! Way to come
back stronger, girl.
Go, Margot!
Bring it home, baby.
Bring it home.
Margot is so close.
Margot’s just one hop
away now.
Come on. Whoo!
There it is. There it is.
And the Go-Getters
have vanquished the gauntlet.
Congratulations.
You guys are going
to the Wipeout Zone.
We’re going to
the Wipeout Zone!
Whoo!
The Go-Getters shatter
the glass gauntlet
and will live to wipeout
another course.
Next, three more teams
compete for gauntlet glory.
Then we take
our unhealthy splash obsession
to a whole new level
in the Wipeout Zone.
Oh, boy! I don’t know!
Ah!
I’d like to be
drunk in public.
It’s a lot more
socially acceptable
than being drunk in private.
It is.
We’re back, America.
Hey, Nicole, notice anything
different about me?
Your left peck is a little
bit bigger than your right one?
Yeah.
This arm is getting
just too much work
from carrying the show.
I do all the heavy
lifting up here.
Then prove it.
Let’s see your best toss.
Okay. Let’s go back down
to the course
and check out the second heat
of this gauntlet.
Ooh, you’re good.
Who will be joining
Go-Getters in
the Wipeout Zone?
Middle school
sweethearts Forever Young?
Scroll down?
Scroll down.
The high school buds,
the Midwesties.
I’m just gonna do it.
I’m just gonna wing it, man.
Just do it.
Or parents on borrowed time,
the Offspring Breakers?
I’ll just do what you do.
Assuming that works.
Are you ready?
Yeah!
Three, two, one.
That horn can only mean
one thing.
Lunch?
No, it’s the second heat
of the gauntlet. Ooh.
Mitch from the Offspring
Breakers lands on his first
try and saves money
on a vasectomy in the process.
Bear hug it. You got it.
Nice.
Now Mitch’s wife Whitney
lands the propeller
on her first try.
You got it, girl.
Three, two, one.
Now the Offspring Breakers
take the early lead.
Keegan puts the Midwesties
on the gauntlet map
with that drop.
Oh, my gosh.
Speaking of,
there’s not a drop of water
on these players.
Where are my wipeouts at?
Mitch clings tight to that
ring like
the committed husband he is.
Smart move for a married man
approaching a bar.
And the Offspring Breaker’s
the first
to make it across
the Carous-Hell.
And still no wipeouts.
I love a good steak.
Not wanting to make
the propeller feel too
uncomfortable, Midwestie
Megan goes for the side hug.
Good job. Good job.
Now that’s five moves
with no wipeouts.
I can’t even do that
in the shower.
Whitney could push her team
through to the next obstacle
right here.
Oh!
Mama gets the epidural shot
in the back.
Can she get there
one-handed?
Get up there.
You got it! You can do it!
Nice.
Yes! Amazing.
Six moves.
Let’s see that again.
Whitney showing
some major mom strength
hanging with one hand
on the triangle
and reaching for the platform
with the other.
Now that’s multitasking.
You all right?
Yeah. I’m picking the date
next time.
Back on the ledge,
I--I don’t know
if I can do this.
Uh--
I said the same thing
to my agent, but here we are.
"Wipeout" on TBS.
Midwestie Keegan looks a lot
more determined though.
You got it. Stay with it.
I haven’t seen someone
from Michigan
that strung out since
Tim Allen in college.
Yes. He’s completed
the Carous-Hell.
And still no wipeouts.
This has got to be
a gauntlet record.
And if not, I’m sure one of
you Reddit nerds
will let me know.
Speaking of
gauntlet records, I think
Forever Young
are trying to set one
for least muscles moved.
I’m not going, so...
So ice cream?
Ice cream sounds great.
I think they just quit.
These two gave up
on "Wipeout"
the way they gave up on liking
new things after age 12.
And here’s Megan over
the sweeper bar,
and the Midwesties
are advancing.
Eight moves, no wipeouts.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah, baby.
What the?
The Offspring Breakers
take on the zip line.
Can Mitch keep the
no-wipeout streak going?
Yes!
Oh, but he can’t plant
his feet on the platform.
That’s a slip,
not a wipeout.
The streak goes on.
Yeah, baby!
Long live the streak.
Now Whitney’s
on the zip line and--Oh!
Oh, man!
It was fun
while it lasted, huh?
So much fun.
Whitney lands right
on her back,
slides into the mud pit,
and the streak is over.
You know what though?
I kind of missed wipeouts.
Me too.
They’re right behind us.
The Offspring Breakers
forging ahead
with the Midwesties
coming up right behind them.
We got a real footrace,
Nicole.
And they’re all gonna smell
like feet
when the Messy Mile’s
done with them.
Oh, no. They’re all scaling
Mount Wipeout.
This is shaping up to be
a nail-biter, folks.
These two teams are racing
to the top of Mount Wipeout
all at once.
Now at the peak,
all four remaining contestants
drop into the final leg of
the course, the Pummel Pool.
It kind of looks like a fun
pool party. I want to swim.
Put your pants back
on, Nicole.
Anybody’s game
in the gauntlet.
Offspring Breaker Whitney
kicks off
this Big Ball battle,
but oh, she falls off
the tippy table.
Now Mitch gives it a go.
And he makes it over the pink
ball and the tippy table
in one swift move.
All that bouncy house
experience came in handy.
Midwestie Megan goes
for it too.
Oh, but she hesitates on the
pink ball and goes down.
Let’s see if her teammate,
Keegan, has better luck.
You got it, Keegan.
Ooh!
And the Michigander
makes it.
I made it, Meg.
Good job, best friend.
See, John?
It’s not weird for me
to call you my best friend.
Not even when it’s through
my bedroom window
at 4:00 a.m.?
Did you just do one
or two sets?
I did one on the Big Ball
and then a couple
on here and jump.
Here she goes.
Go get your man, Whitney.
He’s waiting for you.
And she makes it
into his loving arms.
Now Megan is going.
No. No, she needs a second.
Papa Mitch goes with
the lollipop over the fries.
Sneaking sweets while
the kids are gone? Bad dad.
And now Megan with a huge
leap bounces
swiftly past the ball
and slides home.
You got it.
The Midwesties
are making moves.
Let’s go this way.
Keegan goes for
the French Fries.
He loses his footing
for a second and...
Oh! He didn’t deserve that.
Let’s see that again.
Immediately.
Ah! The replays are so
gorgeous, aren’t they?
Like "Wipeout" ballet.
Mitch looks ready to make
the leap off the lollipop.
Hang on. Yes! He’s on.
And just like that,
Offspring Breaker Mitch
has made it to the finish.
You’re in! You did it!
Good job.
Oh, my goodness, guys.
Language, Megan.
First team to make it to me
goes straight
to the Wipeout Zone.
We might need to slow this
down a little bit.
She sounds like every guy
I’ve ever dated.
And Keegan hops on the other
side of the lollipop.
Who will manage
to get off this ride first?
Ah!
Ooh.
And Megan can’t hang on.
Oh, shoot!
Whitney goes for the lolli,
and she makes it on!
Just as Keegan makes it off.
With one final hop
over the pink ball,
Keegan makes it
to the winner’s circle.
I made it, Megan!
Whichever partner gets there
first determines who’s
going to the Wipeout Zone.
So close, babe. I love you.
You got it.
Whitney gives it
another shot.
Ooh!
Come on, Megan!
That may have been
their best shot as Midwestie
Megan gets back on the lolli.
Fricking launch yourself,
and then grab on for your life.
And with a little bunny hop,
she finally makes it off.
Yeah, Megan! Come on!
Can she make
this final jump? Yes.
And the Midwesties have
squeaked out a victory
over the Offspring Breakers.
They have won the gauntlet.
Congratulations. You guys are
moving on to the Wipeout Zone.
John and Nicole, back to you.
Shucks,
that was a close one,
but the Midwesties are
advancing to the Wipeout Zone
to compete with the Go-Getters
for the $25,000 prize.
John and I are heading over
to the Wipeout Zone
for the action,
so don’t you dare move.
Ooh!
She did a cartwheel in the air.
Welcome back to "Wipeout."
We’ve made it
to the Wipeout Zone.
Oh, I am so excited,
I could scream.
Please don’t.
I’ve heard you scream before.
Oh, you’ve never heard
my real scream, John.
No, no, no. I always
fake my screams with you.
I can tell the difference
between a real scream
and a fake scream.
Ha. Of course you can, honey.
We’ve got $25,000 on the line.
Let’s take a look
at the course.
We’ve made it to the top
of the mountain,
the Wipeout Zone.
This colossal course
is made up of four stages
done relay style
with each contestant
attempting two obstacles.
The first team member
will get shot out
from our speeding
Silver Bullet
into freezing-cold
waters below.
From there, they’ll swim
to the giant spinning Vertigo
where they’ll attempt
to maneuver from peg to peg
without losing their grip
or their lunch.
They’ll need to press
the button in the middle
to lower the bridge before
they can leap to safety.
That’s when they’ll tag
their partner
to take on the Leap of Faith
where they’ll have
to launch themselves
onto one of the spinning arms,
maintain their balance,
and jump to the narrow
platform on the other side.
It’s tough, but if they
successfully make it across,
they’ll arrive
at the final challenge.
The Triple Threat.
If a contestant can somehow
make it
from one spinning hexagon
to the next
and safely leap
to the final platform
faster than their competition,
they’ll take home $25,000.
And the two brave teams
chosen for a Wipeout Zone-zin
are those women warriors,
the Go-Getters,
and our modest mayo-lovers,
the Midwesties.
Keegan and his teammate,
Megan,
who have repped Michigan
well so far...
Goodness.
Using that Midwestern
positivity
to pick each other up
all competition long.
Come on, Keegan. Whoo!
What am I doing?
But will it be enough
to carry
the Midwesties to victory?
Three, two, one.
Keegan’s strapped into
the Silver Bullet.
There he goes launched into
our version of Lake Michigan,
only Lake Wipeout
is much larger.
Whoo!
Let’s go, Keegan.
Just threw himself at it.
You got this.
And off we go.
Keegan makes his way
up the ramp to Vertigo
where he must mount
Vertigo, hit the button
to bring the ramp
down on the other side,
and land on the ramp
to let his partner
finish the rest of the course.
All right, let’s see
what Keegan does.
Yikes.
These Michigan
best friends...
Let’s go, Keegan.
Bringing their Michigan
pride
to the Wipeout Zone today.
If we were to use the map
of Michigan to denote
where Keegan is right now,
Keegan’s about right here.
He is.
And Keegan needs
to make it to here.
Just go as slow as you want.
And he’s made it
to the button.
Oh, wow.
He’s hit the button.
Wow. Keegan’s right here.
We’ve seen teams
hit that button quick...
Uh-oh.
Oh!
And that’s why.
Oof.
Round and around.
It just goes around and around.
Yes.
This is the hardest
Wipeout Zone ever...
It is.
In the history
of "Wipeout."
Keegan again mounting Vertigo.
He’s already hit the buttons,
and he knows it.
He looks poised
to make the leap.
Yes. Yes, Keegan.
He’s in a really
good position.
Yes, Keegan. Yes!
And he holds on.
Keegan tags in Megan.
Go, Big Blue. Here we go.
All right.
And these Michigan
best friends
have now passed off the baton.
Uh-huh.
Megan’s set to make
the Leap of Faith.
Ooh!
Oh! Ooh.
We’re gonna have to see
that one again.
Yeah.
I got to say, I think
Megan would’ve gotten it
if Megan didn’t hesitate.
I did the number one rule.
You hesitated. You got it.
Maybe she just likes
climbing the blue ladder,
’cause blue reminds her
of Big Blue Michigan State.
Nope. Michigan State
is green and white.
The University of Michigan
is Big Blue.
Oh, there we go.
How do you know
the colors of colleges?
I applied to both
and was promptly rejected.
Oh, no.
But it’s okay.
I’m gonna try again next year.
Yes!
Megan hung on.
And hangs on. She has made it
through the Leap of Faith.
Yo, I’ma stick to
board games from now on.
Come on, Megan.
It’s Triple Threat left,
and you got this.
25,000 big ones on the line.
Do it for Michigan.
Yes.
All of Michigan is watching.
And the Upper Peninsula
and the Lower Peninsula.
And that’s all the Michigan
knowledge I know. Yes.
Megan leaps first
over the first threat.
All these pieces moving
at different speeds,
and she just found
that out the hard way.
Yeah. Wow.
You got this.
The hard part’s over.
You just got to boom,
boom, boom.
Come on, Megan.
You can do it. You can do it.
Yes. Yes.
You’re almost there.
We’re doing good.
Should I stand on it?
Maybe, like, crouch.
And away she goes.
A different strategy.
Oh, yes. Okay.
Changed it right up.
Just a hamster on the wheel
right now,
but there’s $25,000,
girlfriend. You got it.
$25,000, baby!
Yes, oh, my God!
Yes!
You got it. You have--
Yeah, what’s that move
you’re doing?
I want to do it. Yeah, baby.
Yeah, baby.
Yeah, baby!
You got this.
Yes!
All right.
You’re almost there.
Whoo!
One more jump.
Got it.
All of Michigan is watching.
The leap! The landing! Yeah!
Yes!
Excellent job.
He’s like, "Megan!"
Whoo!
Keegan and Megan
very excited.
You both did very well.
Whoo!
Excellent job.
You guys are even
more beautiful in person.
Who? Me?
Both of you.
You are too kind.
Thank you very much.
Oh, my God. Thank you.
I’m loaded with foundation.
This not even me.
Call me.
Midwesties put that Michigan
muscle on full display
and finish the Wipeout Zone
in just under 8 minutes.
But can the Go-Getters top
that time
and take home the 25k?
Find out next.
Welcome back.
The competition here in
the Wipeout Zone is heating up.
It’s true.
If it gets any hotter,
John might
have to take his shirt off.
That’s true.
Also if it doesn’t get
any hotter,
I’m down to take my shirt off.
Basically I just really like
taking my shirt off.
Just say the word.
No.
Okay, that’s the word.
Let’s take a look
at our leaderboard.
Keep your clothes on.
Earlier, the Midwesties
did Michigan proud
and completed the Wipeout Zone
in 7 minutes and 59 seconds.
An ambitious goal
for the Go-Getters,
but can the determined
duo do it? Let’s find out.
Margot in the Silver Bullet.
She and Mariah
have obliterated
every barrier in their way
to get here
clocking the fastest times
in both the qualifier
and the gauntlet.
But the Go-Getters
have one more barrier to go.
Three, two, one.
And there she goes
launched at nearly the speed
of sound into Lake Wipeout.
Oh, my God.
She...
She did a cartwheel
in the air.
We don’t award points
for style.
I think we should.
I think we should.
That was very fun for me.
Come on!
Oh!
Oh, okay.
Margot on Vertigo right now,
and, Nicole, as you know,
she has to mount
the obstacle as she’s done,
and get to the middle
to hit the button.
You’re doing great.
Which releases the ramp
on the other side
and simply then
it’s a quick jump,
and the obstacle’s over.
Yes. Easier said than done.
Margot hanging on as she
plots her next move.
You got this, girl.
She is all sorts
of upside down.
But she got there.
But she made it
to the middle.
Hit the button. The ramp
is down, and so is she.
That was--she did, like,
the Running Man.
Yeah. Truly.
She sprinted to the water.
Margot and Mariah have been
going through the course
yelling at the top
of their lungs,
"Anything a man can do,
a woman can do better."
I mean, it’s true.
We know that that
is absolutely true.
She’s already hit the button,
so all she needs to do now
is just clear the obstacle.
Uh-huh.
Come on.
She is a computer--computer--
what is she?
A computational biologist.
So she’s taken all of
the computer sciences
and figuring it out.
Fall. Fall. Fall!
You got this, Margot.
You’re coming in.
Get on your feet. You got this.
I think she figured it out.
I think she’s gonna go for it.
She’s in a really good spot.
Yes. Yes!
She makes it.
High-five! High-five!
You got it. You got it.
You got it.
All right. Mariah...
Tags in Mariah.
Mariah now on the platform
for the Leap of Faith.
She has to jump
onto that swinging arm
that’s going across
at 88 miles an hour.
Okay, go.
Ah!
Oh!
Not as easy as it looks.
You got it. No worries.
No, no, no, no, no.
What was that strategy?
And we had another
Running Man type of leap.
Yep.
A little too late.
Yep. A little faster
than we thought.
Amazing. You’re amazing.
Yes.
Mariah is on the platform.
She’s got to get flat,
and she does.
Yes.
Ooh. She...
She almost came up
too quick.
Almost got decapitated.
She holds on. She navigates
the Leap of Faith.
Here we go, Mariah.
Triple Threat, you’re done.
You got this. Focus up.
You got this.
Hello.
How are you?
Ladies. Lady power.
Girl power.
You’re doing great.
Oh, boy. I don’t know!
Ah!
She just walked off that.
A brave start.
Truly. She’s like, "I’m just
gonna walk on these things."
That’s "Wipeout" big balls
right there.
Very big balls.
Very big lady balls.
They’re doing good,
but Megan and Keegan
had a very good time.
Yes.
She needs to hustle
on the Triple Threat.
Yes.
This is so nerve-racking.
She’s on the first
of the three threats.
Now to the middle, and she does
need to move swiftly...
All right. All right.
She’s moving very quick.
As Megan and
Keegan did have a good time.
Mariah making moves.
Mariah.
We’ve seen this approach
before.
Sometimes it baffles people
when they have
to leap to the landing level.
I think she’s figured it out.
I think she’s gonna
be okay here.
Yes.
And now that one last leap
for $25,000...
All right,
will Mariah do it?
Time it perfectly.
You got it. Slow and steady.
Focus up. You can do it.
There it is. And the leap.
And she makes it!
Ooh, yes!
She makes it.
A swift run through
the Triple Threat.
Was it indeed enough? Megan and
Keegan had a fast time.
Margot, Mariah,
it was a matter of seconds,
and you’ve been saying
the whole course,
"Anything a man can do, a woman
can do better," is that right?
Yes.
Yes, it is right, because
you’ve won the Wipeout Zone,
and you’ve won $25,000!
Whoo!
Yes, congrats.
This is amazing!
Nothing short of
inspirational, folks.
Margot and Mariah power
through the Wipeout Zone,
dominate the night,
and the Go-Getters
are taking home
the $25,000 prize.
And to all you little girls
watching at home,
remember, anything John Cena
can do, you can do better.
Oh, boy. What a competition.
I can’t wait to see
what we have in store next.
Me too, Nicole.
But let’s just take a second
and enjoy this.
You can take a second.
I’m already gearing up for next
week when more insane couples
will be here ready
to tackle the course.
Until then, I’m Nicole Byer.
And for Camille Kostek,
I’m John Cena--
still enjoying this--
saying good night
and big balls.