Whose Line Is It Anyway? (2013–…): Season 12, Episode 9 - Mircea Monroe 2 - full transcript
Good evening, everybody,
and welcome to
"Whose Line Is It Anyway?"
On tonight's show,
six-million-dollar man
Wayne Brady...
He-Man Gary Anthony Williams...
mystery man Colin Mochrie...
and creepy middle-aged man
Ryan Stiles!
And I'm Aisha Tyler.
Let's make some stuff up!
Whoo!
Ooh! Hey!
Hey, everybody.
Welcome to
"Whose Line is it Anyway?"...
The show
where everything is made up
and the points don't matter.
We've got a great show
for you tonight,
so let's get started
right now with a game called.
"Let's Make a Date."
This is for all
of our performers,
so, gentlemen, come towards me.
Gary... Gary is a contestant
looking for love
on a TV game show,
and Wayne, Colin, and Ryan
are the hopefuls
that he's choosing from.
They've all been given a strange
characteristic or identity.
Gary's gonna question them
about their suitability
for a date and in the process
try to establish
who these people are.
Gary, go make a date.
Bachelor number one,
I am known for my love
of root vegetables.
What would you root out
if we was on a date?
I... I would...
I-I would give you
as many hugs as you would want.
I...
Because all I need is affection.
The lights, the spotlights.
I... 1932, I was
the toast of the town.
But now all I need
is someone like you.
Cut! I was brilliant!
Whoa.
Bachelor number two, chicken
spelled backward is "nekcihc."
What do you like
to do backwards?
I don't think that's any of
your business right now, ma'am.
But believe me, if I have to do
something backwards, I'll do it.
Because I am the last defense.
Now, I'm sure that...
Do... Do it again. Do it again.
- Bachelor number three.
- Yes.
Sometimes when I wear plaid,
I get itches
around my neck area.
What would you use
to scratch my neck itches?
Hm.
I know it's sometimes hard
to... to not have anyone there
to scratch your neck itches.
I-I know how lonely it is
sometimes
to find the right...
Wait.
Oh, God.
Oh, no.
No. Sorry.
Sorry.
I'm working on it.
I'm working on it.
Wait a minute. It's been right
in front of me all along.
Hah! Come here.
- Oh.
- Have a seat over here.
Okay, now...
Gary, would you like to guess
who your suitors are?
Yeah. I would love to guess.
Bachelor number one
is an older actress
who still thinks she's got it.
- I'll give you that.
- I'll give you that one.
- I will give it to you.
- Number two is one of those
people in the airport,
like TSA...
- Yes.
- ...employee.
Number three is a matchmaker,
a matchmaking consultant
who's also tall?
You know,
it's so hard for me to...
Put that away!
He's a mad scientist
looking for mates
for his monstrous creation.
Perfidy! Perfidy!
750 points to Ryan for cheating.
Why am I the monstrous creation?
You're not a monstrous creation.
- Oh, thanks.
- Yes.
I mean,
I wouldn't call you monstrous.
Adorably Canadian.
Alright.
The next game is called "Duet,"
and it's for Wayne and Gary
accompanied by Laura Hall
and Linda Taylor.
And here to join them is our
celebrity guest Mircea Monroe!
Hey!
Hello. How are you?
- Sorry. Hi.
- Alright.
Okay, so, Wayne and Gary,
you're gonna sing a song
all about Mircea.
The beautiful Mircea,
and you'll be singing
in the style of gospel.
Take it away.
- Mircea, do you have a...
- Have a...
Have a guilty, guilty pleasure?
Do you have a guilty pleasure,
Mircea?
Something that
you don't know what.
♪ Something nobody knows,
nobody knows ♪
Nobody know about.
I love watching the treehouse
show on Animal Planet.
- Oh, the treehouse show.
- The treehouse.
That's where they build those
treehouses for rich people.
- Yes, yes, yes.
- Oh, yeah.
'Cause not everybody can.
♪ Afford a treehouse ♪
♪ Hey, yeah ♪
- ♪ Building those treehouses ♪
- ♪ Houses ♪
- ♪ Hey ♪
- ♪ Hm, alright ♪
♪ Now, if y'all know this,
sing along with us ♪
♪ What do you like to do
on a Saturday night? ♪
♪ You stay at home watching TV,
and that ain't right ♪
♪ You like to watch that show
about building trees ♪
♪ Fine girl such as you,
you oughta be out, girl ♪
♪ Don't you see? ♪
♪ Oh, a girl like you,
all my life I have searched ♪
♪ I should've been
climbing up in a treehouse ♪
♪ Up on top of a birch ♪
♪ Come on, baby, Mircea ♪
♪ Come climb into a treehouse
with me ♪
Yeah!
♪ Is that what
you want, baby? ♪
- ♪ Do you wanna be on top? ♪
- ♪ On top ♪
- ♪ Of my tree ♪
- ♪ Of his tree ♪
♪ I can put you
on top of my tree ♪
- ♪ On his tree ♪
- ♪ Yeah ♪
♪ I'm telling you,
it's either you or it's him ♪
♪ And you can stand up ♪
♪ In the branches
of my big black elm ♪
♪ Come on, baby ♪
♪ If you're with me,
you won't teeter ♪
♪ If you're with me,
you won't teeter ♪
♪ Come up and climb
on top of my cedar ♪
♪ Baby ♪
♪ I lead the realm ♪
♪ If you don't wanna
be in my cedar ♪
♪ Come get in my big black elm ♪
Come on, girl, now. Y'all.
♪ Tap, tap, tap,
build, build treehouse ♪
♪ And a tap, tap, tap
and a tip, tip, tip ♪
- ♪ Ooh ♪
- ♪ Now you see? ♪
♪ Do you wanna
get up on my tree? ♪
♪ If you can get
up on my treehouse ♪
♪ Don't you see
those squirrels? ♪
♪ Just move the nuts
out the way ♪
- ♪ Yeah ♪
- ♪ Yeah ♪
- Mircea Monroe, everybody!
- Another hand!
- Mircea!
- Yay!
Mircea Monroe! Thank you!
♪ Tap, tap, tap ♪
Alright. Stick with us.
There'll be much more
"Whose Line Is It Anyway?"
Right after this.
Welcome back to
"Whose Line Is It Anyway?"
And now we are going to play
a game called
"Scenes from a Hat."
And this is for all four
of our performers,
so, guys, come on down.
Now, before the show,
we asked our audience
to write down scenes
they would like to see acted out
by our guys up here.
I've got the suggestions
in this hat.
I'm gonna read them out,
and we're gonna see
how many our performers
can act out.
"Bad things to hear
your pilot announce."
Uh-oh.
Uh, we're about to land.
We're gonna spin
our Wheel of Cities.
- 35 years with this airline.
- Fire me? Ho-ho.
There's only one parachute.
- "Using the word 'boing'...
- Right.
Demonstrate bad times for..."
"For Viagra to kick in."
Wshht.
Boing. Aaah!
Stand up.
Now my assistant
will stand straight,
and I will throw this knife
as close to his body
as humanly possible.
Boing. Oh!
Pinocchio, are you lying again?
Boing.
"Cartoon characters
in therapy."
Doctor, I
swear I've been through puberty.
I've talked to Goofy about it.
I've talked to Minnie about.
I can't do anything
with this high voice!
That's all!
Everyone seems to
think that I'm in a bad mood.
But I have an active
social life.
I enjoy snooker.
You're gonna have to take
a lot of pills.
Andale, ándale, ándale!
Arriba, arriba!
Even I realize how racist I am!
Ruh-ruh-ruh,
ruh-ruh-ruh-ruh-ruh.
Ruh-oh! Ruh-oh-oh!
Ruh-ree-ruh-ruh-roh!
I don't know what you're saying.
Boing.
"If blues singers sang about
embarrassing health problems."
♪ I got narcoleps... ♪
- I just...
- I'm gonna give 25 points
to each and every one of you
just for making it through that.
Yes, it was delightful,
and yet I feel like
you all need
some kind of therapy, yeah.
Took you this game to find out?
Alright.
Next up is a game
called "News Flash."
This is for Ryan,
Gary, and Colin.
So come on down. Wayne, relax.
The way that this game works
is that Ryan and Gary
are gonna be two news anchors
in the studio.
Colin's gonna be in the field
as a reporter
covering a breaking news story.
He's not gonna actually know
what the story is.
It's gonna be... He's gonna be
in front of blank screen,
just like your weatherman
at home on the news.
But by the magic of television,
Ryan, Gary, and everybody else
watching will be able
to see the news story
projected onto the TV screen,
and the challenge for Colin
is to guess what the news story
he's reporting is.
So here we go. Over to Ryan
and Gary in the studio.
- Oh. We have a...
- Oh. Here we are.
Special news report
from our man in the street,
Colin Mochrie.
Colin, can you hear us?
I can barely hear you
over the roar!
Colin, how did this all start?
It started with some bad yogurt.
And it just moved into this.
- Ohh.
- Oh.
Now, Colin, forgive me.
Ohh.
I'm new at this kind of thing,
so I'm probably gonna be
fishing for some answers here.
Is this normal?
Ah-ah-ah.
Is this your first time
in a situation like this?
I've never been like this
since my honeymoon.
Even then, I felt safer
than where I do right now.
- Oh, Colin. Lighten up.
- Don't be so callous.
You've been described
as a "fungi" in the past.
I'm sorry. We've got a clip
to show here.
Alright. We just showed it.
Okay, back to you.
You're nailing it, Colin.
Keep it up.
You're really nailing it.
- Well, I'm try... Ohh.
- Ohh!
You know, a lot of people
find this disgusting, but...
Yeah, it is, but it looks like
it's another story
you can file away
for many, many years.
Boing.
Colin, do you want
to give this a try?
Is it a... like, a pedicure
on really gross feet?
- Yeah.
- Yes!
Well done!
Wow!
Sensational.
I'm gonna give the audience
a 1,000 points
to divide amongst you.
Yes.
For having to look
at that horrible footage!
That was disturbing. Oh, yeah.
Try to work it out
so everybody gets one point.
Alright? Don't be greedy.
Alright.
Now we play a game called
"Irish Drinking Song."
This is for all four of our guys
with the help of Laura Hall
on the piano.
So, now, before you guys
make up the words
to your Irish drinking song...
And I know you can't
wait to get to it...
What I need from the audience
is a suggestion
for a reason to celebrate.
Oh. Okay. I got one. Divorce.
- Divorce.
- A reason to celebrate.
- Divorce.
- Divorce. Take it away.
Divorce.
♪ Ohh ♪
♪ Hidey-didey-didey-didey,
hidey-didey, dye ♪
♪ Today I signed
the divorce papers ♪
♪ I couldn't be happier ♪
♪ I'm leaving out the door ♪
♪ I'm out in the streets,
brr! ♪
♪ No more blah-blah-blah ♪
♪ No more of, "You do this" ♪
♪ I am free as a bird ♪
♪ Now I'm gonna go
and get pissed ♪
♪ Oh, hidey-didey-didey-didey,
didey-didey, dye ♪
♪ For twenty years I knew her ♪
♪ For twenty years she hurt ♪
♪ I loved that woman dearly ♪
♪ Now she's taken
even half my shirt ♪
♪ I don't even care ♪
♪ I've lost everything ♪
♪ I want her back someday ♪
♪ I... ♪
♪ Oh, hidey-didey-didey-didey,
hidey-didey, dye ♪
♪ I asked her on a Monday ♪
♪ Out there on the street ♪
♪ Rags 'pon her feet ♪
♪ And now here I come again ♪
♪ Walking through the door ♪
♪ She's not my life ♪
♪ I don't need her anymore ♪
♪ Oh, hidey-didey-didey-didey,
hidey-didey, dye ♪
♪ I found another woman ♪
♪ She's twenty years
younger than I ♪
♪ Oh, you should see the love ♪
♪ I scream, "Yippee-ay-ay!" ♪
♪ I'm thinking
about remarrying ♪
♪ I'll give her a ring
on her hand ♪
♪ And then I'll be so happy ♪
♪ They'll hear "boing"
through the land ♪
♪ Oh, hidey-didey-didey-didey,
hidey-didey, dye ♪
♪ Oh, hidey-didey-didey-didey ♪
♪ Dye, dee-dye ♪
♪ Dee, dye! ♪
- Alright.
- We're gonna take a short break.
So don't go away.
There's more after this!
Welcome back to
"Whose Line Is It Anyway?"
We are gonna keep things rolling
with a game called
"Greatest Hits."
And this is a game
for all four of our performers
with the help of Laura Hall
and Linda Taylor
on piano and guitar.
Now, Ryan and Colin
are two TV voice-over artists
talking about
the last compilation album.
And Gary and Wayne are gonna
sing snippets of the songs.
So I need a suggestion
from the audience.
Can you give me
the name of an exciting.
American state to visit?
I hear Florida. Florida.
Alright. So the name of your
album is "Songs of Florida."
Take it away.
You know,
when I think of Florida,
I can't think of anything nice
to say about it.
Not one of my favorite states.
But we've collected 30 songs
on one CD
all about the state of Florida.
Yeah, and,
you know, one of the...
One of my favorite styles
in this...
And I know you know this
from coming over
and taking all my records...
Yeah. Yeah. Records!
I love Jamaican dance hall.
- Oh, really?
- Yes.
A great song that started,
strangely enough,
in Jamaican dance halls.
Aye, mon. Ooh. Aye, mon.
That's "yes" in Jamaican.
Well, just sit back and listen
to this Jamaican dance hall
inspired song
about Florida.
"It's Too Hot, I'm Dying."
♪ Yeah, ha, heh, ha ♪
♪ So hot... ♪
- ♪ ...the sun ♪
- ♪ Hunh! ♪
♪ I tell you now,
I tell you now ♪
♪ I tell you now, oh ♪
♪ Because and the sun
beat down on my back ♪
♪ Down on my back ♪
♪ I'm so, so Black,
and it gets so hot ♪
♪ And, oh, me chokin',
and, oh, my goodness ♪
♪ Sun a-strokin' ♪
- ♪ Sun stroke, sun stroke ♪
- ♪ Hunh ♪
♪ Sun stroke, sun stroke, ah ♪
♪ Sun stroke, sun stroke ♪
♪ Sun stroke, ah ♪
♪ Me come, come, wear me felt ♪
♪ Me so hot
that me going to melt ♪
♪ You be lookin' all around ♪
♪ I just be a big chocolate spot
on the ground ♪
♪ It's so hot, don't you see? ♪
♪ No man a-gets as hot as me ♪
♪ There's sweat on me arms
and my forehead, too ♪
♪ It's so hot, how 'bout you? ♪
♪ Hot, hot, hot, hot ♪
♪ Hot, hot, hot, hot ♪
♪ Hot, hot, hot, hot ♪
Whoo! Is that you? You?
Ahh!
Ooh! Ooh!
Whew.
I got a little hot
just listening to that.
Yeah, you'd think
they'd sing something slower
when it's that hot.
You know, what's another term,
Colin, for Seoul Cola?
- Rabbit.
- No.
Korean Pop.
And, you know,
when I think of Korean pop,
I think of a song that was
at the top of the charts
of the Korean Pop
Top Chop Pot Chops.
Everything's different
over there.
That Korean pop hit,
"There's a Gator in My Pool."
♪ I look inside my pool,
and then what do I see? ♪
♪ I see something staring,
he is looking back at me ♪
♪ Whoopah! ♪
♪ There's a gator in my pool ♪
- ♪ There's a gator in my pool ♪
- ♪ Gator in the pool ♪
♪ The rep, reptile
with a big old smile ♪
♪ And let me tell you,
this is not no crocodile ♪
♪ Whoopah ♪
♪ You can look at him,
that's what you do ♪
♪ But me, I'm gonna jump
in my swimming pool ♪
♪ And make
a nice pair of shoes ♪
- ♪ There's a gator in my pool ♪
- ♪ Gator poolin' ♪
♪ I'm gator poolin' ♪
♪ I'm gator poolin' ♪
- ♪ There's a gator in my pool ♪
- ♪ Whoopah ♪
♪ I'm gator poolin' ♪
♪ I'm gator poolin' ♪
♪ I'm gator poolin' ♪
♪ There's a gator in my pool ♪
America number one!
- No. Two. You have two up.
- You take one... Yeah.
Alright, guys, find out
who won the show tonight
right after this short break.
We'll see you in a minute.
Welcome back to
"Whose Line Is It Anyway?"
Sadly, that's the end
of the show,
but tonight's winner is the
lovely Gary Anthony Williams.
- Ohh!
- And I'd like you to read out
the credits as a Southern belle.
These other lovely gentlemen
are your suitors at a ball.
Thank you and good night.
Oh, my, if somebody could be
bring me a mint julep
and a Mark Leveson
on ice, please.
Thank you so much, kind sir.
Perhaps you would like
to accompany me to the dance?
Well, perhaps I would.
You remind me of Geraldine Dowd,
one of the sexist ladies...
You mind if I walk with you
for a while?
- Oh, please do.
- I do believe they've mentioned
Wayne Brady, that the doors
are always open for you.
Oh, you're as sweaty
as Neil Sidwell
on a hot summer day.
I would love to talk to you
about the chifforobe.
Oh, well, then,
you'll have to talk
to Chris Henderson because...
...Captions by VITAC...
and welcome to
"Whose Line Is It Anyway?"
On tonight's show,
six-million-dollar man
Wayne Brady...
He-Man Gary Anthony Williams...
mystery man Colin Mochrie...
and creepy middle-aged man
Ryan Stiles!
And I'm Aisha Tyler.
Let's make some stuff up!
Whoo!
Ooh! Hey!
Hey, everybody.
Welcome to
"Whose Line is it Anyway?"...
The show
where everything is made up
and the points don't matter.
We've got a great show
for you tonight,
so let's get started
right now with a game called.
"Let's Make a Date."
This is for all
of our performers,
so, gentlemen, come towards me.
Gary... Gary is a contestant
looking for love
on a TV game show,
and Wayne, Colin, and Ryan
are the hopefuls
that he's choosing from.
They've all been given a strange
characteristic or identity.
Gary's gonna question them
about their suitability
for a date and in the process
try to establish
who these people are.
Gary, go make a date.
Bachelor number one,
I am known for my love
of root vegetables.
What would you root out
if we was on a date?
I... I would...
I-I would give you
as many hugs as you would want.
I...
Because all I need is affection.
The lights, the spotlights.
I... 1932, I was
the toast of the town.
But now all I need
is someone like you.
Cut! I was brilliant!
Whoa.
Bachelor number two, chicken
spelled backward is "nekcihc."
What do you like
to do backwards?
I don't think that's any of
your business right now, ma'am.
But believe me, if I have to do
something backwards, I'll do it.
Because I am the last defense.
Now, I'm sure that...
Do... Do it again. Do it again.
- Bachelor number three.
- Yes.
Sometimes when I wear plaid,
I get itches
around my neck area.
What would you use
to scratch my neck itches?
Hm.
I know it's sometimes hard
to... to not have anyone there
to scratch your neck itches.
I-I know how lonely it is
sometimes
to find the right...
Wait.
Oh, God.
Oh, no.
No. Sorry.
Sorry.
I'm working on it.
I'm working on it.
Wait a minute. It's been right
in front of me all along.
Hah! Come here.
- Oh.
- Have a seat over here.
Okay, now...
Gary, would you like to guess
who your suitors are?
Yeah. I would love to guess.
Bachelor number one
is an older actress
who still thinks she's got it.
- I'll give you that.
- I'll give you that one.
- I will give it to you.
- Number two is one of those
people in the airport,
like TSA...
- Yes.
- ...employee.
Number three is a matchmaker,
a matchmaking consultant
who's also tall?
You know,
it's so hard for me to...
Put that away!
He's a mad scientist
looking for mates
for his monstrous creation.
Perfidy! Perfidy!
750 points to Ryan for cheating.
Why am I the monstrous creation?
You're not a monstrous creation.
- Oh, thanks.
- Yes.
I mean,
I wouldn't call you monstrous.
Adorably Canadian.
Alright.
The next game is called "Duet,"
and it's for Wayne and Gary
accompanied by Laura Hall
and Linda Taylor.
And here to join them is our
celebrity guest Mircea Monroe!
Hey!
Hello. How are you?
- Sorry. Hi.
- Alright.
Okay, so, Wayne and Gary,
you're gonna sing a song
all about Mircea.
The beautiful Mircea,
and you'll be singing
in the style of gospel.
Take it away.
- Mircea, do you have a...
- Have a...
Have a guilty, guilty pleasure?
Do you have a guilty pleasure,
Mircea?
Something that
you don't know what.
♪ Something nobody knows,
nobody knows ♪
Nobody know about.
I love watching the treehouse
show on Animal Planet.
- Oh, the treehouse show.
- The treehouse.
That's where they build those
treehouses for rich people.
- Yes, yes, yes.
- Oh, yeah.
'Cause not everybody can.
♪ Afford a treehouse ♪
♪ Hey, yeah ♪
- ♪ Building those treehouses ♪
- ♪ Houses ♪
- ♪ Hey ♪
- ♪ Hm, alright ♪
♪ Now, if y'all know this,
sing along with us ♪
♪ What do you like to do
on a Saturday night? ♪
♪ You stay at home watching TV,
and that ain't right ♪
♪ You like to watch that show
about building trees ♪
♪ Fine girl such as you,
you oughta be out, girl ♪
♪ Don't you see? ♪
♪ Oh, a girl like you,
all my life I have searched ♪
♪ I should've been
climbing up in a treehouse ♪
♪ Up on top of a birch ♪
♪ Come on, baby, Mircea ♪
♪ Come climb into a treehouse
with me ♪
Yeah!
♪ Is that what
you want, baby? ♪
- ♪ Do you wanna be on top? ♪
- ♪ On top ♪
- ♪ Of my tree ♪
- ♪ Of his tree ♪
♪ I can put you
on top of my tree ♪
- ♪ On his tree ♪
- ♪ Yeah ♪
♪ I'm telling you,
it's either you or it's him ♪
♪ And you can stand up ♪
♪ In the branches
of my big black elm ♪
♪ Come on, baby ♪
♪ If you're with me,
you won't teeter ♪
♪ If you're with me,
you won't teeter ♪
♪ Come up and climb
on top of my cedar ♪
♪ Baby ♪
♪ I lead the realm ♪
♪ If you don't wanna
be in my cedar ♪
♪ Come get in my big black elm ♪
Come on, girl, now. Y'all.
♪ Tap, tap, tap,
build, build treehouse ♪
♪ And a tap, tap, tap
and a tip, tip, tip ♪
- ♪ Ooh ♪
- ♪ Now you see? ♪
♪ Do you wanna
get up on my tree? ♪
♪ If you can get
up on my treehouse ♪
♪ Don't you see
those squirrels? ♪
♪ Just move the nuts
out the way ♪
- ♪ Yeah ♪
- ♪ Yeah ♪
- Mircea Monroe, everybody!
- Another hand!
- Mircea!
- Yay!
Mircea Monroe! Thank you!
♪ Tap, tap, tap ♪
Alright. Stick with us.
There'll be much more
"Whose Line Is It Anyway?"
Right after this.
Welcome back to
"Whose Line Is It Anyway?"
And now we are going to play
a game called
"Scenes from a Hat."
And this is for all four
of our performers,
so, guys, come on down.
Now, before the show,
we asked our audience
to write down scenes
they would like to see acted out
by our guys up here.
I've got the suggestions
in this hat.
I'm gonna read them out,
and we're gonna see
how many our performers
can act out.
"Bad things to hear
your pilot announce."
Uh-oh.
Uh, we're about to land.
We're gonna spin
our Wheel of Cities.
- 35 years with this airline.
- Fire me? Ho-ho.
There's only one parachute.
- "Using the word 'boing'...
- Right.
Demonstrate bad times for..."
"For Viagra to kick in."
Wshht.
Boing. Aaah!
Stand up.
Now my assistant
will stand straight,
and I will throw this knife
as close to his body
as humanly possible.
Boing. Oh!
Pinocchio, are you lying again?
Boing.
"Cartoon characters
in therapy."
Doctor, I
swear I've been through puberty.
I've talked to Goofy about it.
I've talked to Minnie about.
I can't do anything
with this high voice!
That's all!
Everyone seems to
think that I'm in a bad mood.
But I have an active
social life.
I enjoy snooker.
You're gonna have to take
a lot of pills.
Andale, ándale, ándale!
Arriba, arriba!
Even I realize how racist I am!
Ruh-ruh-ruh,
ruh-ruh-ruh-ruh-ruh.
Ruh-oh! Ruh-oh-oh!
Ruh-ree-ruh-ruh-roh!
I don't know what you're saying.
Boing.
"If blues singers sang about
embarrassing health problems."
♪ I got narcoleps... ♪
- I just...
- I'm gonna give 25 points
to each and every one of you
just for making it through that.
Yes, it was delightful,
and yet I feel like
you all need
some kind of therapy, yeah.
Took you this game to find out?
Alright.
Next up is a game
called "News Flash."
This is for Ryan,
Gary, and Colin.
So come on down. Wayne, relax.
The way that this game works
is that Ryan and Gary
are gonna be two news anchors
in the studio.
Colin's gonna be in the field
as a reporter
covering a breaking news story.
He's not gonna actually know
what the story is.
It's gonna be... He's gonna be
in front of blank screen,
just like your weatherman
at home on the news.
But by the magic of television,
Ryan, Gary, and everybody else
watching will be able
to see the news story
projected onto the TV screen,
and the challenge for Colin
is to guess what the news story
he's reporting is.
So here we go. Over to Ryan
and Gary in the studio.
- Oh. We have a...
- Oh. Here we are.
Special news report
from our man in the street,
Colin Mochrie.
Colin, can you hear us?
I can barely hear you
over the roar!
Colin, how did this all start?
It started with some bad yogurt.
And it just moved into this.
- Ohh.
- Oh.
Now, Colin, forgive me.
Ohh.
I'm new at this kind of thing,
so I'm probably gonna be
fishing for some answers here.
Is this normal?
Ah-ah-ah.
Is this your first time
in a situation like this?
I've never been like this
since my honeymoon.
Even then, I felt safer
than where I do right now.
- Oh, Colin. Lighten up.
- Don't be so callous.
You've been described
as a "fungi" in the past.
I'm sorry. We've got a clip
to show here.
Alright. We just showed it.
Okay, back to you.
You're nailing it, Colin.
Keep it up.
You're really nailing it.
- Well, I'm try... Ohh.
- Ohh!
You know, a lot of people
find this disgusting, but...
Yeah, it is, but it looks like
it's another story
you can file away
for many, many years.
Boing.
Colin, do you want
to give this a try?
Is it a... like, a pedicure
on really gross feet?
- Yeah.
- Yes!
Well done!
Wow!
Sensational.
I'm gonna give the audience
a 1,000 points
to divide amongst you.
Yes.
For having to look
at that horrible footage!
That was disturbing. Oh, yeah.
Try to work it out
so everybody gets one point.
Alright? Don't be greedy.
Alright.
Now we play a game called
"Irish Drinking Song."
This is for all four of our guys
with the help of Laura Hall
on the piano.
So, now, before you guys
make up the words
to your Irish drinking song...
And I know you can't
wait to get to it...
What I need from the audience
is a suggestion
for a reason to celebrate.
Oh. Okay. I got one. Divorce.
- Divorce.
- A reason to celebrate.
- Divorce.
- Divorce. Take it away.
Divorce.
♪ Ohh ♪
♪ Hidey-didey-didey-didey,
hidey-didey, dye ♪
♪ Today I signed
the divorce papers ♪
♪ I couldn't be happier ♪
♪ I'm leaving out the door ♪
♪ I'm out in the streets,
brr! ♪
♪ No more blah-blah-blah ♪
♪ No more of, "You do this" ♪
♪ I am free as a bird ♪
♪ Now I'm gonna go
and get pissed ♪
♪ Oh, hidey-didey-didey-didey,
didey-didey, dye ♪
♪ For twenty years I knew her ♪
♪ For twenty years she hurt ♪
♪ I loved that woman dearly ♪
♪ Now she's taken
even half my shirt ♪
♪ I don't even care ♪
♪ I've lost everything ♪
♪ I want her back someday ♪
♪ I... ♪
♪ Oh, hidey-didey-didey-didey,
hidey-didey, dye ♪
♪ I asked her on a Monday ♪
♪ Out there on the street ♪
♪ Rags 'pon her feet ♪
♪ And now here I come again ♪
♪ Walking through the door ♪
♪ She's not my life ♪
♪ I don't need her anymore ♪
♪ Oh, hidey-didey-didey-didey,
hidey-didey, dye ♪
♪ I found another woman ♪
♪ She's twenty years
younger than I ♪
♪ Oh, you should see the love ♪
♪ I scream, "Yippee-ay-ay!" ♪
♪ I'm thinking
about remarrying ♪
♪ I'll give her a ring
on her hand ♪
♪ And then I'll be so happy ♪
♪ They'll hear "boing"
through the land ♪
♪ Oh, hidey-didey-didey-didey,
hidey-didey, dye ♪
♪ Oh, hidey-didey-didey-didey ♪
♪ Dye, dee-dye ♪
♪ Dee, dye! ♪
- Alright.
- We're gonna take a short break.
So don't go away.
There's more after this!
Welcome back to
"Whose Line Is It Anyway?"
We are gonna keep things rolling
with a game called
"Greatest Hits."
And this is a game
for all four of our performers
with the help of Laura Hall
and Linda Taylor
on piano and guitar.
Now, Ryan and Colin
are two TV voice-over artists
talking about
the last compilation album.
And Gary and Wayne are gonna
sing snippets of the songs.
So I need a suggestion
from the audience.
Can you give me
the name of an exciting.
American state to visit?
I hear Florida. Florida.
Alright. So the name of your
album is "Songs of Florida."
Take it away.
You know,
when I think of Florida,
I can't think of anything nice
to say about it.
Not one of my favorite states.
But we've collected 30 songs
on one CD
all about the state of Florida.
Yeah, and,
you know, one of the...
One of my favorite styles
in this...
And I know you know this
from coming over
and taking all my records...
Yeah. Yeah. Records!
I love Jamaican dance hall.
- Oh, really?
- Yes.
A great song that started,
strangely enough,
in Jamaican dance halls.
Aye, mon. Ooh. Aye, mon.
That's "yes" in Jamaican.
Well, just sit back and listen
to this Jamaican dance hall
inspired song
about Florida.
"It's Too Hot, I'm Dying."
♪ Yeah, ha, heh, ha ♪
♪ So hot... ♪
- ♪ ...the sun ♪
- ♪ Hunh! ♪
♪ I tell you now,
I tell you now ♪
♪ I tell you now, oh ♪
♪ Because and the sun
beat down on my back ♪
♪ Down on my back ♪
♪ I'm so, so Black,
and it gets so hot ♪
♪ And, oh, me chokin',
and, oh, my goodness ♪
♪ Sun a-strokin' ♪
- ♪ Sun stroke, sun stroke ♪
- ♪ Hunh ♪
♪ Sun stroke, sun stroke, ah ♪
♪ Sun stroke, sun stroke ♪
♪ Sun stroke, ah ♪
♪ Me come, come, wear me felt ♪
♪ Me so hot
that me going to melt ♪
♪ You be lookin' all around ♪
♪ I just be a big chocolate spot
on the ground ♪
♪ It's so hot, don't you see? ♪
♪ No man a-gets as hot as me ♪
♪ There's sweat on me arms
and my forehead, too ♪
♪ It's so hot, how 'bout you? ♪
♪ Hot, hot, hot, hot ♪
♪ Hot, hot, hot, hot ♪
♪ Hot, hot, hot, hot ♪
Whoo! Is that you? You?
Ahh!
Ooh! Ooh!
Whew.
I got a little hot
just listening to that.
Yeah, you'd think
they'd sing something slower
when it's that hot.
You know, what's another term,
Colin, for Seoul Cola?
- Rabbit.
- No.
Korean Pop.
And, you know,
when I think of Korean pop,
I think of a song that was
at the top of the charts
of the Korean Pop
Top Chop Pot Chops.
Everything's different
over there.
That Korean pop hit,
"There's a Gator in My Pool."
♪ I look inside my pool,
and then what do I see? ♪
♪ I see something staring,
he is looking back at me ♪
♪ Whoopah! ♪
♪ There's a gator in my pool ♪
- ♪ There's a gator in my pool ♪
- ♪ Gator in the pool ♪
♪ The rep, reptile
with a big old smile ♪
♪ And let me tell you,
this is not no crocodile ♪
♪ Whoopah ♪
♪ You can look at him,
that's what you do ♪
♪ But me, I'm gonna jump
in my swimming pool ♪
♪ And make
a nice pair of shoes ♪
- ♪ There's a gator in my pool ♪
- ♪ Gator poolin' ♪
♪ I'm gator poolin' ♪
♪ I'm gator poolin' ♪
- ♪ There's a gator in my pool ♪
- ♪ Whoopah ♪
♪ I'm gator poolin' ♪
♪ I'm gator poolin' ♪
♪ I'm gator poolin' ♪
♪ There's a gator in my pool ♪
America number one!
- No. Two. You have two up.
- You take one... Yeah.
Alright, guys, find out
who won the show tonight
right after this short break.
We'll see you in a minute.
Welcome back to
"Whose Line Is It Anyway?"
Sadly, that's the end
of the show,
but tonight's winner is the
lovely Gary Anthony Williams.
- Ohh!
- And I'd like you to read out
the credits as a Southern belle.
These other lovely gentlemen
are your suitors at a ball.
Thank you and good night.
Oh, my, if somebody could be
bring me a mint julep
and a Mark Leveson
on ice, please.
Thank you so much, kind sir.
Perhaps you would like
to accompany me to the dance?
Well, perhaps I would.
You remind me of Geraldine Dowd,
one of the sexist ladies...
You mind if I walk with you
for a while?
- Oh, please do.
- I do believe they've mentioned
Wayne Brady, that the doors
are always open for you.
Oh, you're as sweaty
as Neil Sidwell
on a hot summer day.
I would love to talk to you
about the chifforobe.
Oh, well, then,
you'll have to talk
to Chris Henderson because...
...Captions by VITAC...