Whitstable Pearl (2021–…): Season 2, Episode 5 - Episode #2.5 - full transcript
[ Seagulls crying ]
♪
DOLLY: It's gonna be strange,
Charlie being so
far away from home.
PEARL: Trust me, two
months with his dad
will be enough for Charlie.
And what about Ruby?
Ah, well, apparently
they're gonna stay together,
but they're gonna be open
to seeing other people.
Oh, very bohemian! I approve.
But what if he meets another
girl, he falls in love,
and then he wants to stay there?
Then we'll visit.
Don't they have bears in Canada?
Not in Toronto, Mum.
When you're running away,
you have to zig-zag.
It confuses them.
No, that's crocodiles.
With bears, I think you're meant
to make yourself really big
and wave your arms
around and shout.
Oh, right. Well, while
you're doing that,
I'll be running away.
[ Laughs ]
You know this is what separates
us from the DFLs, don't you?
What, practical footwear?
Some of them have been
living down here for years,
and they still run into the sea
like they're treading
on hot coals.
Don't worry, he'll
be back in no time.
Come on, I'll get the kettle on.
Oh, you've finally
mowed the lawn!
Oh, yeah, yeah.
[ Water running ]
What's that noise?
Is that the shower?
Mum!
What are you playing at?!
Scatterbrain.
I've lost the plot.
You better book me on the
next flight to Switzerland.
Oh, Switzerland's a bit far.
Be cheaper to chuck
you under a bus.
- [ Chuckles ]
- No more Bloody Marys
for breakfast!
♪ There once was a place
with my little lovely ♪
♪ Wey hey ho ♪
♪ And I'll seek and I'll search,
and I know that I'll find it ♪
♪ Wey hey ho ♪
♪ I know the wind, she blows ♪
♪ I know the tides are low ♪
♪ But you'll find me
at the white post ♪
♪ You'll find me
at the white post ♪
[ Bell jingles ]
Morning?
[ Muffled shouting ]
IAN: Oh, no. Oh,
Dawnie! Dawnie, Dawnie.
Oh, my darling, you're hurt.
- Oh, I'm so sorry.
- [ Sobbing ]
Don't worry, I've got
you, I've got you.
Oh, it's okay. Oh, my darling!
You're okay now. You're okay.
I usually lock up.
Dawn goes home and
makes the dinner
while I dot the I's
and cross the T's.
Any normal night,
it would've been me.
Oh, I'm glad it was me.
He's got a weak heart.
This would've finished him.
Why didn't you lock up?
I was away with friends.
On a treasure hunt.
A forensic search of
the Kent coastline.
Saddos with metal detectors.
Centuries of
shipwrecks, you know?
Gold coins, silver ingots.
Then there's the ambergris.
Ambergris?
Whale vomit.
- Oh.
- Washed up and hardened.
It's a rare, but vital
ingredient in perfume.
It's worth a small fortune.
There was a month's
takings in the safe.
More if you include the till.
I mean, it wasn't a fortune,
but it was all we had.
You got to find who did this.
I don't care how you do it or
what rules you have to bend,
I want you to break
their fingers one by one.
NIKKI: Something's not right.
What, the husband?
Well, let's see if
his alibi checks out.
No, I mean something's not
right 'cause this is normally
when Pearl rocks up to give
us all the local knowledge.
I might as well call her.
Get the inside track.
Put the phone down.
We're solving this
one on our own.
[ Birds squawking ]
[ Clattering, dog
barking in distance ]
If they're not coming we're
gonna need a new name.
Mm.
Quizzly Bears.
One for Charlie.
No bears in Toronto.
I'm Smarticus?
No. I'm Smarticus.
Ah, I could text Kat.
Oh, don't bother.
They're probably
having a night in.
Couscous and Rightmove.
Searching for their
"forever home."
[ Chuckles ] Leave it.
Be more fun just us two anyway.
I'm game.
[ Sighs ]
[ Sighs ]
[ Alarm beeping ]
[ Alarm beeping ]
[ Beeping, whirring ]
PEARL: Tupac? As in Shakur?
Working in the
Aldi in Herne bay?
Yeah. I mean, it is
an amazing story.
But, um...
I don't think I'll
take that case.
Thanks, bye.
Blimey.
You haven't got any
dead celebrities
you want me to track
down, have you?
Marilyn Monroe's not living it
up in a care home in Maidstone?
No.
But...
I do want to hire you.
As a detective.
- Okay.
- I think I'm being robbed.
Things keep going
missing at home.
Food from the fridge,
stuff that I know I bought.
And I know that I took a tenner
out of the cashpoint especially.
And when I opened my
purse, it wasn't there.
Why would someone want
to break into your house
to nick a tenner or
food out of your fridge?
Let me finish.
You know the other
day when we came home.
When you left the shower on?
DOLLY: Yeah, but I
didn't, I know I didn't!
I'm sure of it.
And someone mowed the lawn,
because I didn't do that either.
And this morning, I was asleep,
and the smoke alarm went off.
And there was toast
burning in the kitchen.
It's an oddball burglar.
And I am hiring
you to find them.
You honestly think someone's
breaking into your house
to make toast and mow the lawn?
I know it sounds crazy, but
it's the only explanation.
It's not the only explanation.
Have you seen a doctor?
Listen, Pearl.
You're a detective, you're
not a brain surgeon.
And I am not hiring you
to give me medical advice.
I just want this burglar caught.
Okay.
I went on a date the other day.
It was nice.
We met online.
Um...
We like the same things.
We agreed to take it slow.
Um, when I got back, I wanted
to tell somebody all about it.
So I picked up the phone,
and I called my wife.
She didn't answer obviously.
I called my wife to tell
her I'd been on a date.
And I don't know how
to make sense of that.
I used to march against
things like this.
My house is a
surveillance state.
Do you want to catch
this weirdo or not?
These cameras, they're
linked to your laptop?
So you can spy on me?
Hypothetically.
- But you won't.
- No.
Because you respect my privacy.
Because I've got
better things to do.
You think I'm going loopy.
Let's give it a few days.
A week. See what we find.
[ Seagulls crying ]
MIKE: We tracked him from
the back of your shop.
Then he turns down a side
street and disappears from view.
Do you recognize him?
He could be a
customer? A regular?
Or someone who came in for
the first time recently?
No, it all happened so fast.
But he's the person
that robbed me.
I can't tell you any more.
- You sure?
- Yes.
I saw you're closing the shop.
I can't go back in there.
Not now.
My parents ran it before us.
As a newsagents.
It was his idea to change it.
- I was future proofing.
- [ Scoffs ]
Well no one wants
newspapers any more.
No one wants
ancient crap either.
You were losing money?
We speculate to accumulate.
He's a dreamer.
Head in the clouds.
She's still in shock.
Yeah, but he feels guilty. So
he's finally listening to me.
[ Camera shutter clicks ]
Stop smiling!
They've got really
strict security.
It's Canada, not North Korea.
They waterboard you if they
think you're taking the piss.
[ Gags ]
[ Camera shutter clicks ]
Have you noticed anything
different about Dolly?
CHARLIE: Well, she was
nice to Tom the other day.
So that was a bit weird.
- [ Camera shutter clicks ]
- I don't know.
I think she's really
struggling at home on her own.
She left the shower on all day.
And she swears she doesn't
remember doing it, but...
I'm worried about her.
I might ask her to move in.
Look, is this your way of
trying to guilt trip me
into making sure
that I come home?
No, it's my way of telling
you that I'm gonna offer
Dolly your room.
[ Chuckles ] Anyway, you
are coming back home.
Yeah, yeah, I know. University.
No. They won't let you in
the country with those.
[ Both laugh ]
You idiot.
Alright, come on. Let's
get some together.
Oh, no, Charlie.
Oh, come on. Don't
be such a sour puss.
PEARL: Come on then.
[ Laughs ]
I'm really gonna miss you, mate.
Yeah, you too.
[ Camera shutter clicking ]
[ Car door opens, closes ]
MIKE: What we got?
Our burglar. Carl
"Cheese" Crow.
Cheese?
Yeah, he's a deejay.
Local cheese nights.
Plays "The One
and Only" on loop.
We could arrest
him just for that.
How'd you find him?
Pearl.
[ Chuckles ] I got you.
It was actually all my
own police work, thanks.
Carl's got a record.
Breaking and entering.
He's also got a website.
Recognize the logo?
MIKE: Alright.
And guess who his aunt is.
It's Dawn.
You reckon she still wants
us to break his fingers?
[ Clattering ]
- Thank you, thank you. Bye.
- Cheers, bye.
Dawn must have recognized him.
She's covering for him.
Or she's in on
it. Insurance job.
Yeah, well, the shop
was losing money.
They could have
faked the robbery
while Ian was away
hunting for whale puke.
MIKE: Bit weird the way they
were talking to each other,
don't you think?
Or maybe that's how you make a
relationship work these days?
Yeah, whatever it takes.
My girlfriend's a duvet hog.
Therefore, I buy
her her own duvet.
Girlfriend?
Yeah.
Oh.
Oh, this is priceless.
You didn't know?
How long have we been
working together?
Of course I knew.
Got ya. [ Chuckles ]
That's not funny.
Let's play this one smart.
See if we can get
Cheese to talk.
Oh, so you're saying I
can break his fingers?
Well, let's start with
the charm offensive.
Oh, that'll be on me then.
I can be respectful.
Carl Crow?
- Yeah.
- We'd like a word.
Can we come in?
Aah!
Carl, no!
[ Grunts ]
Get off!
- Stay still.
- Get off me!
Very respectful.
Okay.
Are you ready?
You're talking to yourself.
Well, you do that when you
live alone. You'll find out.
Oh, you can fast
forward this bit.
PEARL: Mum! You're smoking!
You gave up.
We sponsored you for charity!
"You sponsored me for charity"
Uh, stop, stop.
Who's that?
Oh, my God.
Well, who is he?
- I don't know.
- Mum!
Mum, there's a stranger
living in your garage
stealing your stuff.
Do you think he's in there now?
Probably.
Yeah.
Hello! Why aren't
you freaking out?
Oh, I thought I
was losing my mind.
Honestly, I feel like
punching the air.
I think you are
losing your mind.
No. I'm not,
because now finally,
everything makes sense.
I'm calling the police.
- No, wait.
- Mum.
He could've murdered
you in your sleep.
But he didn't!
Look, look. Come
and look at this.
PEARL: What's he doing?
DOLLY: Well, I think
he's paying me back.
He's replacing
everything he took.
PEARL: I'm still
gonna call the police.
DOLLY: No.
Put the knife down.
And the phone.
[ Exhales deeply ]
Mum.
What are you doing?
I'm gonna make him a cup of tea.
We come in peace.
I'm Dolly, and this
is my daughter Pearl.
I'm Bill.
Why don't we all go inside?
I'm so sorry.
I've had a few problems lately.
I lost my job.
I just started to
drink too much.
Well, you took a bottle
of whiskey off my Mum.
I didn't touch a drop though.
I was tempted.
You took other stuff.
We've got it all on camera.
Yeah, but then you...
You put everything back.
Like the money, the food.
PEARL: You really scared her.
I'm sorry.
Like I say, I was in a bad way.
Some mental health issues and...
But I've got a job now.
Fruit picking.
It's not much, but the
first wage packet I got,
I paid you back every penny.
I know that's no excuse.
Why me? Why my garage?
BILL: Well, I was dossing
up on the high street
in a shop doorway.
And then they put all these
metal studs down outside.
Oh, the spikes.
It's not really conducive
to a good night's kip.
Makes my blood boil.
So like I say, it
was a cold night.
I saw the garage and...
I just needed to get out
of the cold and the wind.
I didn't plan on staying.
And there's no one
else you can stay with?
No friends or family?
Not anymore, no.
Well, you can't carry on
sleeping in my garden.
BILL: I know.
Look, I'll get going.
Why don't you stay
in my spare room?
Mum!
DOLLY: Just for tonight.
[ Sighs ]
[ Sighs ]
I'm gonna stay here tonight.
No, don't be silly. Go home.
I'm not gonna leave you
with a total stranger.
Pearl, I'm fine.
[ Sighs ]
Right, well leave
all the cameras on.
And go to bed with
your pepper spray.
And that knife.
All this detective work
has made you cynical.
We've got no idea who he is!
He's got kind eyes
and a nice smile.
And anyway, don't you think
it's a bit of a mystery
how he ended up here?
Surely you'd like to solve that.
Don't you think it's a bit weird
that he hasn't got any
friends or family at all?
I think we should
call the police.
Pearl, go home.
- This is rude.
- Just go!
[ Pearl sighs ]
[ Sighs ]
[ Seagulls crying ]
[ Static crackles ]
[ Metal detector whirring ]
It's cold in Canada.
And what's so good about skiing?
It's just rich kids
falling down a hill.
Gravity does most of
the work, doesn't it?
Here he comes.
[ Horn honks ]
He hasn't killed her at least.
[ Engine starts ]
Right, you're going traveling,
and you want to earn a
bit of extra money, okay?
That's your cover story.
RUBY: And what, follow him?
PEARL: Try and work
with him. Get talking.
See if he's telling the truth.
I'm like a spy or
a secret agent.
Yeah, well, you're a
waitress pretending to be
a fruit picker following
a homeless bloke, so...
- [ Chuckles ]
- Go on.
- See you.
- See you later.
Can we have a word?
NIKKI: You must have
known it was Carl.
I told you. Everything
happened so fast.
I didn't have time to think.
What about the CCTV, hm?
The logo. Cheese.
You can't miss it.
Idiot.
Why were you covering for him?
What, covering for Carl?
No, no, no, no.
The shop was losing money.
You knew the insurance
would pay out.
You staged the
robbery. You and Carl.
Carl hasn't got the
brains he was born with.
Look, I'm tired.
Don't make me say it.
You weren't covering for Carl.
You were covering for Ian.
I stayed late.
Just, I don't know, trying to
make sense of the accounts.
Ian thought I'd be at home.
And Carl took it too far.
Does Ian know you know?
Look, he's a good man.
He'd never hurt me.
But he's always looking
for an easy answer.
Anybody else would have
filed for bankruptcy.
He came up with this.
He's a dreamer.
[ Whirring, beeping ]
[ Beeping intensifies ]
Okay, I've got... I know
why you're here, okay?
But just bear with me.
A Spanish galleon,
right, the Santa Maria,
sank off this stretch of coast
in the late 16th century.
And the spoils were never found.
We're talking jewels
and silver and gold,
buried somewhere on this beach.
It's a fortune.
It could change
your life around.
We could split it three ways.
The lost treasure
of the Santa Maria.
You're nicked, mate.
Come on.
[ Indistinct chatter ]
[ Sighs ] I'm sunburnt, I've
got blisters on my hands,
and I never want to see
another strawberry again.
You are a trooper.
What about Bill?
[ Laughter ]
He seems for real.
He works hard.
Shared his lunch with one of
the lads that didn't have any.
I like him.
He's got a kind eyes.
Great.
What do you mean he's staying?
It's just till he
finds his feet.
Oh, I'm gonna get you
some of those spikes
and put them by your front door.
Look, Bill needs somewhere
to live, I like the company.
It's win-win.
One minute, he's stealing from
you, and now he's your roomie.
I mean, don't you think
it's a bit fast, Mum?
We're taking one day at a time.
He could be using you.
He's weeded both the
gardens, he's fixed the tiles
on the roof, he's
even cleaned the oven.
He's working like a dog.
Hmm, but he's not
paying any rent, is he?
You really are
Thatcher's daughter.
Mum, taxi's here.
Oh.
Right, you call me
as soon as you land.
I will, I will.
PEARL: And then call me again
when you get to your Dad's.
- Yeah, okay.
- Bye, bye, darling.
See you.
- And if you see a bear...
- Zig-zags.
Oh, no, wait, sorry.
Make myself big.
Scream and shout.
Oh, just leg it.
Let it eat your Dad.
[ Laughter ]
Let me help with your bags.
Pearl, let, uh, Ruby do that.
Oh, yeah, of course.
I love you, Mum.
I love you, too.
- Have an amazing time.
- I will.
You will look after her
when I'm gone, won't you?
I will, I promise.
[ Door opens, closes ]
[ Cellphone rings ]
[ Sighs ]
What?
Okay.
Where are you?
Right.
I'm on my way. I'm coming now.
Mike? It's Pearl.
Hey.
What's going on?
Mike?
What's going on?
Nothing, it's stupid.
I broke a glass in the kitchen.
I didn't know what to do.
Okay.
Maybe clean it up.
Do you want me to do that?
Can you get rid of it, please?
Of course.
What was that? A panic attack?
MIKE: It's pathetic.
PEARL: Well...
when you called, I
was spying on my mum.
So, how's that for pathetic?
I think she's got
a new boyfriend.
It's a long story.
That glass.
It was a present from
my wife for my...
For my 30th birthday.
Hm.
"Mike. Established 1982."
Yeah. She thought
it was funny.
She had a good sense of humor.
I never used that glass.
Just seeing it smashed
on the floor like that...
Why did you call me?
Why not Kat?
[ Broken glass clinks ]
[ Cellphone rings ]
[ Sighs ]
[ Cellphone rings ]
Hey, are you all right?
Anymore breakages?
MIKE: Yeah, listen.
I've done some digging for you.
Dolly's burglar slash boyfriend.
- Bill.
- His full name's
Graham William Tait.
- Go on.
- You ain't gonna like this.
We need to talk.
Mum...
[ Sighs ] He's been in prison...
for murder.
He killed his Dad.
I know.
What do you mean you know?
Mum, you're scaring me.
Pearl, please hear him out.
My father was ill.
He had Parkinson's and the
beginning of Alzheimer's.
I gave up work to, to
care for him full time.
He was suffering.
But he could handle that.
He was a hard man.
But what he couldn't bear
was losing his mind.
He was quite lucid when... When
he first asked me to do it.
But I said I couldn't.
I couldn't do it, no way.
But then he started...
He started to beg.
And I knew that I... It
would cost me everything.
But, you know,
I was there for my father
when he needed me, at the end.
And I wouldn't change
that for a thing.
I'm sorry.
I am. I'm sorry.
But I...
I get it.
You're worried about your mum.
Yeah.
Bill, will you give us a minute?
Yeah, of course.
Mum...
Let's go to the beach.
I don't get it.
The broken glass upset you
because it reminded you of...
- Of my wife.
- So you called Pearl
and not me.
- I didn't think...
- What?
What?!
I didn't think you
could handle it.
And what's that
supposed to mean?
We don't talk about them.
My wife. Your husband.
Because we agreed
we're moving on.
To what? To poker nights
and quiz nights and church?
It's called a social life.
- There's no space.
- For what?
- To be lonely?
- To be sad.
I don't want to be sad!
You talk in your
sleep, you know?
You say her name.
You called Pearl and not me.
And not because of a smashed
glass, or your wife, or me.
You called Pearl...
because you love her, don't you?
You love Pearl.
PEARL: I'm worried, Mum.
DOLLY: Me too.
PEARL: I get it.
You were really scared
that you were sick,
and then we found
an explanation,
and you've got this
whole new lease of life.
But you've got to remember
Bill's the reason
you were scared.
I can't just ignore that.
I think you were looking
forward to me moving in.
Wait, you're worried about me?
Charlie's left.
You're on your own
for the first time.
I'm not on my
own. I've got Tom.
It's scary.
I know the feeling.
I feel as if I've been
alone for a long time now.
So be happy for me.
And think about what
makes you happy, too.
♪
[ Keys clatter ]
♪
[ Sighs ]
♪ La-la la la-la ♪
♪ La-la la-la la la-la-la ♪
♪ La-la la la-la ♪
♪ La-la la-la la la-la-la ♪
♪ Oooh ♪
♪ La-la la-la la la-la-la ♪
♪
DOLLY: It's gonna be strange,
Charlie being so
far away from home.
PEARL: Trust me, two
months with his dad
will be enough for Charlie.
And what about Ruby?
Ah, well, apparently
they're gonna stay together,
but they're gonna be open
to seeing other people.
Oh, very bohemian! I approve.
But what if he meets another
girl, he falls in love,
and then he wants to stay there?
Then we'll visit.
Don't they have bears in Canada?
Not in Toronto, Mum.
When you're running away,
you have to zig-zag.
It confuses them.
No, that's crocodiles.
With bears, I think you're meant
to make yourself really big
and wave your arms
around and shout.
Oh, right. Well, while
you're doing that,
I'll be running away.
[ Laughs ]
You know this is what separates
us from the DFLs, don't you?
What, practical footwear?
Some of them have been
living down here for years,
and they still run into the sea
like they're treading
on hot coals.
Don't worry, he'll
be back in no time.
Come on, I'll get the kettle on.
Oh, you've finally
mowed the lawn!
Oh, yeah, yeah.
[ Water running ]
What's that noise?
Is that the shower?
Mum!
What are you playing at?!
Scatterbrain.
I've lost the plot.
You better book me on the
next flight to Switzerland.
Oh, Switzerland's a bit far.
Be cheaper to chuck
you under a bus.
- [ Chuckles ]
- No more Bloody Marys
for breakfast!
♪ There once was a place
with my little lovely ♪
♪ Wey hey ho ♪
♪ And I'll seek and I'll search,
and I know that I'll find it ♪
♪ Wey hey ho ♪
♪ I know the wind, she blows ♪
♪ I know the tides are low ♪
♪ But you'll find me
at the white post ♪
♪ You'll find me
at the white post ♪
[ Bell jingles ]
Morning?
[ Muffled shouting ]
IAN: Oh, no. Oh,
Dawnie! Dawnie, Dawnie.
Oh, my darling, you're hurt.
- Oh, I'm so sorry.
- [ Sobbing ]
Don't worry, I've got
you, I've got you.
Oh, it's okay. Oh, my darling!
You're okay now. You're okay.
I usually lock up.
Dawn goes home and
makes the dinner
while I dot the I's
and cross the T's.
Any normal night,
it would've been me.
Oh, I'm glad it was me.
He's got a weak heart.
This would've finished him.
Why didn't you lock up?
I was away with friends.
On a treasure hunt.
A forensic search of
the Kent coastline.
Saddos with metal detectors.
Centuries of
shipwrecks, you know?
Gold coins, silver ingots.
Then there's the ambergris.
Ambergris?
Whale vomit.
- Oh.
- Washed up and hardened.
It's a rare, but vital
ingredient in perfume.
It's worth a small fortune.
There was a month's
takings in the safe.
More if you include the till.
I mean, it wasn't a fortune,
but it was all we had.
You got to find who did this.
I don't care how you do it or
what rules you have to bend,
I want you to break
their fingers one by one.
NIKKI: Something's not right.
What, the husband?
Well, let's see if
his alibi checks out.
No, I mean something's not
right 'cause this is normally
when Pearl rocks up to give
us all the local knowledge.
I might as well call her.
Get the inside track.
Put the phone down.
We're solving this
one on our own.
[ Birds squawking ]
[ Clattering, dog
barking in distance ]
If they're not coming we're
gonna need a new name.
Mm.
Quizzly Bears.
One for Charlie.
No bears in Toronto.
I'm Smarticus?
No. I'm Smarticus.
Ah, I could text Kat.
Oh, don't bother.
They're probably
having a night in.
Couscous and Rightmove.
Searching for their
"forever home."
[ Chuckles ] Leave it.
Be more fun just us two anyway.
I'm game.
[ Sighs ]
[ Sighs ]
[ Alarm beeping ]
[ Alarm beeping ]
[ Beeping, whirring ]
PEARL: Tupac? As in Shakur?
Working in the
Aldi in Herne bay?
Yeah. I mean, it is
an amazing story.
But, um...
I don't think I'll
take that case.
Thanks, bye.
Blimey.
You haven't got any
dead celebrities
you want me to track
down, have you?
Marilyn Monroe's not living it
up in a care home in Maidstone?
No.
But...
I do want to hire you.
As a detective.
- Okay.
- I think I'm being robbed.
Things keep going
missing at home.
Food from the fridge,
stuff that I know I bought.
And I know that I took a tenner
out of the cashpoint especially.
And when I opened my
purse, it wasn't there.
Why would someone want
to break into your house
to nick a tenner or
food out of your fridge?
Let me finish.
You know the other
day when we came home.
When you left the shower on?
DOLLY: Yeah, but I
didn't, I know I didn't!
I'm sure of it.
And someone mowed the lawn,
because I didn't do that either.
And this morning, I was asleep,
and the smoke alarm went off.
And there was toast
burning in the kitchen.
It's an oddball burglar.
And I am hiring
you to find them.
You honestly think someone's
breaking into your house
to make toast and mow the lawn?
I know it sounds crazy, but
it's the only explanation.
It's not the only explanation.
Have you seen a doctor?
Listen, Pearl.
You're a detective, you're
not a brain surgeon.
And I am not hiring you
to give me medical advice.
I just want this burglar caught.
Okay.
I went on a date the other day.
It was nice.
We met online.
Um...
We like the same things.
We agreed to take it slow.
Um, when I got back, I wanted
to tell somebody all about it.
So I picked up the phone,
and I called my wife.
She didn't answer obviously.
I called my wife to tell
her I'd been on a date.
And I don't know how
to make sense of that.
I used to march against
things like this.
My house is a
surveillance state.
Do you want to catch
this weirdo or not?
These cameras, they're
linked to your laptop?
So you can spy on me?
Hypothetically.
- But you won't.
- No.
Because you respect my privacy.
Because I've got
better things to do.
You think I'm going loopy.
Let's give it a few days.
A week. See what we find.
[ Seagulls crying ]
MIKE: We tracked him from
the back of your shop.
Then he turns down a side
street and disappears from view.
Do you recognize him?
He could be a
customer? A regular?
Or someone who came in for
the first time recently?
No, it all happened so fast.
But he's the person
that robbed me.
I can't tell you any more.
- You sure?
- Yes.
I saw you're closing the shop.
I can't go back in there.
Not now.
My parents ran it before us.
As a newsagents.
It was his idea to change it.
- I was future proofing.
- [ Scoffs ]
Well no one wants
newspapers any more.
No one wants
ancient crap either.
You were losing money?
We speculate to accumulate.
He's a dreamer.
Head in the clouds.
She's still in shock.
Yeah, but he feels guilty. So
he's finally listening to me.
[ Camera shutter clicks ]
Stop smiling!
They've got really
strict security.
It's Canada, not North Korea.
They waterboard you if they
think you're taking the piss.
[ Gags ]
[ Camera shutter clicks ]
Have you noticed anything
different about Dolly?
CHARLIE: Well, she was
nice to Tom the other day.
So that was a bit weird.
- [ Camera shutter clicks ]
- I don't know.
I think she's really
struggling at home on her own.
She left the shower on all day.
And she swears she doesn't
remember doing it, but...
I'm worried about her.
I might ask her to move in.
Look, is this your way of
trying to guilt trip me
into making sure
that I come home?
No, it's my way of telling
you that I'm gonna offer
Dolly your room.
[ Chuckles ] Anyway, you
are coming back home.
Yeah, yeah, I know. University.
No. They won't let you in
the country with those.
[ Both laugh ]
You idiot.
Alright, come on. Let's
get some together.
Oh, no, Charlie.
Oh, come on. Don't
be such a sour puss.
PEARL: Come on then.
[ Laughs ]
I'm really gonna miss you, mate.
Yeah, you too.
[ Camera shutter clicking ]
[ Car door opens, closes ]
MIKE: What we got?
Our burglar. Carl
"Cheese" Crow.
Cheese?
Yeah, he's a deejay.
Local cheese nights.
Plays "The One
and Only" on loop.
We could arrest
him just for that.
How'd you find him?
Pearl.
[ Chuckles ] I got you.
It was actually all my
own police work, thanks.
Carl's got a record.
Breaking and entering.
He's also got a website.
Recognize the logo?
MIKE: Alright.
And guess who his aunt is.
It's Dawn.
You reckon she still wants
us to break his fingers?
[ Clattering ]
- Thank you, thank you. Bye.
- Cheers, bye.
Dawn must have recognized him.
She's covering for him.
Or she's in on
it. Insurance job.
Yeah, well, the shop
was losing money.
They could have
faked the robbery
while Ian was away
hunting for whale puke.
MIKE: Bit weird the way they
were talking to each other,
don't you think?
Or maybe that's how you make a
relationship work these days?
Yeah, whatever it takes.
My girlfriend's a duvet hog.
Therefore, I buy
her her own duvet.
Girlfriend?
Yeah.
Oh.
Oh, this is priceless.
You didn't know?
How long have we been
working together?
Of course I knew.
Got ya. [ Chuckles ]
That's not funny.
Let's play this one smart.
See if we can get
Cheese to talk.
Oh, so you're saying I
can break his fingers?
Well, let's start with
the charm offensive.
Oh, that'll be on me then.
I can be respectful.
Carl Crow?
- Yeah.
- We'd like a word.
Can we come in?
Aah!
Carl, no!
[ Grunts ]
Get off!
- Stay still.
- Get off me!
Very respectful.
Okay.
Are you ready?
You're talking to yourself.
Well, you do that when you
live alone. You'll find out.
Oh, you can fast
forward this bit.
PEARL: Mum! You're smoking!
You gave up.
We sponsored you for charity!
"You sponsored me for charity"
Uh, stop, stop.
Who's that?
Oh, my God.
Well, who is he?
- I don't know.
- Mum!
Mum, there's a stranger
living in your garage
stealing your stuff.
Do you think he's in there now?
Probably.
Yeah.
Hello! Why aren't
you freaking out?
Oh, I thought I
was losing my mind.
Honestly, I feel like
punching the air.
I think you are
losing your mind.
No. I'm not,
because now finally,
everything makes sense.
I'm calling the police.
- No, wait.
- Mum.
He could've murdered
you in your sleep.
But he didn't!
Look, look. Come
and look at this.
PEARL: What's he doing?
DOLLY: Well, I think
he's paying me back.
He's replacing
everything he took.
PEARL: I'm still
gonna call the police.
DOLLY: No.
Put the knife down.
And the phone.
[ Exhales deeply ]
Mum.
What are you doing?
I'm gonna make him a cup of tea.
We come in peace.
I'm Dolly, and this
is my daughter Pearl.
I'm Bill.
Why don't we all go inside?
I'm so sorry.
I've had a few problems lately.
I lost my job.
I just started to
drink too much.
Well, you took a bottle
of whiskey off my Mum.
I didn't touch a drop though.
I was tempted.
You took other stuff.
We've got it all on camera.
Yeah, but then you...
You put everything back.
Like the money, the food.
PEARL: You really scared her.
I'm sorry.
Like I say, I was in a bad way.
Some mental health issues and...
But I've got a job now.
Fruit picking.
It's not much, but the
first wage packet I got,
I paid you back every penny.
I know that's no excuse.
Why me? Why my garage?
BILL: Well, I was dossing
up on the high street
in a shop doorway.
And then they put all these
metal studs down outside.
Oh, the spikes.
It's not really conducive
to a good night's kip.
Makes my blood boil.
So like I say, it
was a cold night.
I saw the garage and...
I just needed to get out
of the cold and the wind.
I didn't plan on staying.
And there's no one
else you can stay with?
No friends or family?
Not anymore, no.
Well, you can't carry on
sleeping in my garden.
BILL: I know.
Look, I'll get going.
Why don't you stay
in my spare room?
Mum!
DOLLY: Just for tonight.
[ Sighs ]
[ Sighs ]
I'm gonna stay here tonight.
No, don't be silly. Go home.
I'm not gonna leave you
with a total stranger.
Pearl, I'm fine.
[ Sighs ]
Right, well leave
all the cameras on.
And go to bed with
your pepper spray.
And that knife.
All this detective work
has made you cynical.
We've got no idea who he is!
He's got kind eyes
and a nice smile.
And anyway, don't you think
it's a bit of a mystery
how he ended up here?
Surely you'd like to solve that.
Don't you think it's a bit weird
that he hasn't got any
friends or family at all?
I think we should
call the police.
Pearl, go home.
- This is rude.
- Just go!
[ Pearl sighs ]
[ Sighs ]
[ Seagulls crying ]
[ Static crackles ]
[ Metal detector whirring ]
It's cold in Canada.
And what's so good about skiing?
It's just rich kids
falling down a hill.
Gravity does most of
the work, doesn't it?
Here he comes.
[ Horn honks ]
He hasn't killed her at least.
[ Engine starts ]
Right, you're going traveling,
and you want to earn a
bit of extra money, okay?
That's your cover story.
RUBY: And what, follow him?
PEARL: Try and work
with him. Get talking.
See if he's telling the truth.
I'm like a spy or
a secret agent.
Yeah, well, you're a
waitress pretending to be
a fruit picker following
a homeless bloke, so...
- [ Chuckles ]
- Go on.
- See you.
- See you later.
Can we have a word?
NIKKI: You must have
known it was Carl.
I told you. Everything
happened so fast.
I didn't have time to think.
What about the CCTV, hm?
The logo. Cheese.
You can't miss it.
Idiot.
Why were you covering for him?
What, covering for Carl?
No, no, no, no.
The shop was losing money.
You knew the insurance
would pay out.
You staged the
robbery. You and Carl.
Carl hasn't got the
brains he was born with.
Look, I'm tired.
Don't make me say it.
You weren't covering for Carl.
You were covering for Ian.
I stayed late.
Just, I don't know, trying to
make sense of the accounts.
Ian thought I'd be at home.
And Carl took it too far.
Does Ian know you know?
Look, he's a good man.
He'd never hurt me.
But he's always looking
for an easy answer.
Anybody else would have
filed for bankruptcy.
He came up with this.
He's a dreamer.
[ Whirring, beeping ]
[ Beeping intensifies ]
Okay, I've got... I know
why you're here, okay?
But just bear with me.
A Spanish galleon,
right, the Santa Maria,
sank off this stretch of coast
in the late 16th century.
And the spoils were never found.
We're talking jewels
and silver and gold,
buried somewhere on this beach.
It's a fortune.
It could change
your life around.
We could split it three ways.
The lost treasure
of the Santa Maria.
You're nicked, mate.
Come on.
[ Indistinct chatter ]
[ Sighs ] I'm sunburnt, I've
got blisters on my hands,
and I never want to see
another strawberry again.
You are a trooper.
What about Bill?
[ Laughter ]
He seems for real.
He works hard.
Shared his lunch with one of
the lads that didn't have any.
I like him.
He's got a kind eyes.
Great.
What do you mean he's staying?
It's just till he
finds his feet.
Oh, I'm gonna get you
some of those spikes
and put them by your front door.
Look, Bill needs somewhere
to live, I like the company.
It's win-win.
One minute, he's stealing from
you, and now he's your roomie.
I mean, don't you think
it's a bit fast, Mum?
We're taking one day at a time.
He could be using you.
He's weeded both the
gardens, he's fixed the tiles
on the roof, he's
even cleaned the oven.
He's working like a dog.
Hmm, but he's not
paying any rent, is he?
You really are
Thatcher's daughter.
Mum, taxi's here.
Oh.
Right, you call me
as soon as you land.
I will, I will.
PEARL: And then call me again
when you get to your Dad's.
- Yeah, okay.
- Bye, bye, darling.
See you.
- And if you see a bear...
- Zig-zags.
Oh, no, wait, sorry.
Make myself big.
Scream and shout.
Oh, just leg it.
Let it eat your Dad.
[ Laughter ]
Let me help with your bags.
Pearl, let, uh, Ruby do that.
Oh, yeah, of course.
I love you, Mum.
I love you, too.
- Have an amazing time.
- I will.
You will look after her
when I'm gone, won't you?
I will, I promise.
[ Door opens, closes ]
[ Cellphone rings ]
[ Sighs ]
What?
Okay.
Where are you?
Right.
I'm on my way. I'm coming now.
Mike? It's Pearl.
Hey.
What's going on?
Mike?
What's going on?
Nothing, it's stupid.
I broke a glass in the kitchen.
I didn't know what to do.
Okay.
Maybe clean it up.
Do you want me to do that?
Can you get rid of it, please?
Of course.
What was that? A panic attack?
MIKE: It's pathetic.
PEARL: Well...
when you called, I
was spying on my mum.
So, how's that for pathetic?
I think she's got
a new boyfriend.
It's a long story.
That glass.
It was a present from
my wife for my...
For my 30th birthday.
Hm.
"Mike. Established 1982."
Yeah. She thought
it was funny.
She had a good sense of humor.
I never used that glass.
Just seeing it smashed
on the floor like that...
Why did you call me?
Why not Kat?
[ Broken glass clinks ]
[ Cellphone rings ]
[ Sighs ]
[ Cellphone rings ]
Hey, are you all right?
Anymore breakages?
MIKE: Yeah, listen.
I've done some digging for you.
Dolly's burglar slash boyfriend.
- Bill.
- His full name's
Graham William Tait.
- Go on.
- You ain't gonna like this.
We need to talk.
Mum...
[ Sighs ] He's been in prison...
for murder.
He killed his Dad.
I know.
What do you mean you know?
Mum, you're scaring me.
Pearl, please hear him out.
My father was ill.
He had Parkinson's and the
beginning of Alzheimer's.
I gave up work to, to
care for him full time.
He was suffering.
But he could handle that.
He was a hard man.
But what he couldn't bear
was losing his mind.
He was quite lucid when... When
he first asked me to do it.
But I said I couldn't.
I couldn't do it, no way.
But then he started...
He started to beg.
And I knew that I... It
would cost me everything.
But, you know,
I was there for my father
when he needed me, at the end.
And I wouldn't change
that for a thing.
I'm sorry.
I am. I'm sorry.
But I...
I get it.
You're worried about your mum.
Yeah.
Bill, will you give us a minute?
Yeah, of course.
Mum...
Let's go to the beach.
I don't get it.
The broken glass upset you
because it reminded you of...
- Of my wife.
- So you called Pearl
and not me.
- I didn't think...
- What?
What?!
I didn't think you
could handle it.
And what's that
supposed to mean?
We don't talk about them.
My wife. Your husband.
Because we agreed
we're moving on.
To what? To poker nights
and quiz nights and church?
It's called a social life.
- There's no space.
- For what?
- To be lonely?
- To be sad.
I don't want to be sad!
You talk in your
sleep, you know?
You say her name.
You called Pearl and not me.
And not because of a smashed
glass, or your wife, or me.
You called Pearl...
because you love her, don't you?
You love Pearl.
PEARL: I'm worried, Mum.
DOLLY: Me too.
PEARL: I get it.
You were really scared
that you were sick,
and then we found
an explanation,
and you've got this
whole new lease of life.
But you've got to remember
Bill's the reason
you were scared.
I can't just ignore that.
I think you were looking
forward to me moving in.
Wait, you're worried about me?
Charlie's left.
You're on your own
for the first time.
I'm not on my
own. I've got Tom.
It's scary.
I know the feeling.
I feel as if I've been
alone for a long time now.
So be happy for me.
And think about what
makes you happy, too.
♪
[ Keys clatter ]
♪
[ Sighs ]
♪ La-la la la-la ♪
♪ La-la la-la la la-la-la ♪
♪ La-la la la-la ♪
♪ La-la la-la la la-la-la ♪
♪ Oooh ♪
♪ La-la la-la la la-la-la ♪