White Collar (2009–2014): Season 1, Episode 3 - Book of Hours - full transcript
Mob baron Burrelli asks FBI's help to solve the theft of his parish church's Bible, from 17th century Naples, where it would have worked several miracles. Neal assumes it may be meant for healing, as it's very hard to fence, having contacted expert Fiametta, who points out it's actually a breviary, not a Bible. Neal and Peter soon find the vagrant who was hired to steal it but robbed himself, and suspect a link with the nearby murder of rivaling mob family member, which is alas assigned exclusive to a jealously rivaling FBI agent from organized crime.
What do we got? We got any headlines?
They keep bitching about his Bible.
It could be a debt ledger.
Well, it's missing.
And they ain't happy about it.
Hey, guys. We have a situation.
Is that Barelli?
What's he doing down here?
I don't know. But it can't be good.
Paul Ignazio, his nephew.
Turn the mic up.
- You sure about this?
- Do it.
Damn. He's walking over here.
You guys are the FBI, right?
We need your help.
...somebody walks into my church...
...steals the Bible.
A Bible? An actual Bible?
Yeah. You know, the flood,
Abraham sacrifices Isaac. You heard of it?
Why do you want our help?
I'm a taxpaying citizen.
So? File a police report.
Come on, Burke.
You got your guys sitting on me.
It's part of the game, I know,
but it means that I'm not free...
...to find out who did this.
Yeah, it means you're not free
to bust heads until you do.
Do I have to take these accusations?
Get to your point.
...it's not just some book
that the Gideons leave on the nightstand.
This is five centuries of history
The saints prayed over this book.
Your personal feelings for Barelli aside...
...I don't need the archdiocese
crawling down our necks...
...because we refused to help recover
a medieval Bible.
But if Barelli asked for our help,
he must really want it back.
Let's get this straight here.
You may go to confession once a week...
...but the bureau doesn't forgive sins.
We don't work for you.
What do you want?
Shut down your bookmaking operations
at Masso's Club.
It's a restaurant.
See for yourself anytime...
Please help me find my goddamn Bible.
It's part of my process.
Look, either you taught her too well
or it's just a bottle.
It's more than that.
This is the only thing Kate left me.
There's a message here.
Yeah, Peter. I'll be down in five.
Oh, okay. I'm coming right now.
Oh, the man interferes yet again.
Can you please--?
I'll take it back to the lab,
run some tests.
You don't have a lab.
You have a storage unit.
The Bible belongs to the Church
of St. Camillus de Lellis in Naples.
It was brought here in 1903.
Been the heart of our parish.
No alarm, no witnesses.
No sign of a forced entry.
It looks like a smash and dash.
Anything unusual that night, Father?
No. Not that I recall.
Have ERT run the prints
against the parish roster.
Something tells me
we'll get a few matches.
Nobody from this parish stole that Bible.
Oh, sure. You guys are all choirboys,
No surveillance cameras.
The Lord sees all.
And that's good enough for us.
I'm getting my St. Whatevers mixed up. But
didn't you used to run a soup kitchen here?
- Who steals a Bible?
- People steal everything.
Why would we steal one? In theory?
Yeah, it makes them valuable,
but not like a Picasso.
It's definitely a niche market.
It's tough to fence.
People get weird about buying
stolen religious artifacts.
I think it's an irony thing.
That pesky eighth commandment.
Thou shalt not steal.
It depends what's important to people.
Did you know that an original Star Trek
dome lunchbox goes for 600 bucks?
I don't try to explain it.
Well, I can appreciate that.
But why this one?
Well, you're missing book is famous.
It's known as the Healing Bible.
"In 1588, the plague passed
Father Camillus carried the book
into disease-stricken ships in the harbor.
Not a single person
who touched the Bible died."
Twenty years later...
...a blind girl regained her sight
when she rescued the book from a fire.
I could give you many more examples.
No, I'm sure you could.
Look, maybe you don't steal it
for the money.
You steal it
because you're a true believer.
A true believer?
You got something better?
Every person in that church
has a felony record.
The people I don't suspect
are the ones in prison.
So let's start with the faithful.
"It cures blind nuns and lepers."
It sounds like every story
in Sunday school.
Look at this.
In 1918, 30,000 people in New York
died from the Spanish flu.
No one in this parish even caught a cold.
Maybe whoever took it
thinks it's gonna heal them.
It's worth looking into.
Nobody in this church caught the flu.
Why these guys and not the church
down the block?
Because of a book? Tough to swallow.
I thought you were Catholic.
Oh, so you don't think some higher power
could've saved the congregation?
I'm more inclined to think they kept the
door shut and loaded up on vitamin C.
Maybe God works with what he's got?
And God said, "Shut thine doors
and eat thine oranges?"
All right, look,
when they dug up King Tut...
...everybody made such a big deal
out of the curse of the pharaoh.
People who entered the tomb
ended up dead.
Yeah, they probably caught
some old bacterial infection. Germs.
There's your divine intervention.
God can't use bacteria?
I prefer my miracles with a little
more smiting and lightning.
Can I help you?
Thanks for seeing us again, Father.
We wanted to run down one thing.
You didn't tell us your Bible
was also known as a healing Bible.
I didn't think it was relevant.
Anybody in your church who was a true
believer of the healing power of the Bible?
Someone who was terminally ill?
Someone who had a sick family member?
I was afraid this might happen.
Mr. Barelli has discouraged the homeless
from the church.
He made you shut down
the soup kitchen.
How Christian of him.
The night of the theft, I let a homeless man
sleep in the sanctuary.
His name's Steve.
Is he sick?
No. But someone very close to him is.
My name is Peter. This is my friend Neal.
Do you mind if we ask you
The church you stayed in last week,
they're missing a Bible.
You know anything about it?
Yeah. I took it.
Great. We need it back.
No. No, I need it back.
What do you mean? Where is it?
I took it from the church
like he asked me to.
He said that he'd show me
how to help Lucy get better.
Then he took it from me.
Now, he has not brought it back.
Do you know where he is?
No. I wish I did.
Who asked you to take the Bible
from the church?
Look, he said that he would help Lucy
She's not getting better.
She's getting worse.
What's wrong with her?
She's tired all the time.
She don't eat nothing.
If I get that Bible back,
she'll get better.
The man who asked you to take the Bible,
did you meet him at the church?
Steve, if we showed you some pictures,
do you think you could recognize him?
We just need to get the Bible back, okay?
Because she's fading. All right?
You okay to keep going?
There's more of them?
Yeah. Let's just get through
this one, okay?
I'm glad we followed your hunch.
Hope it takes us somewhere.
Oh, ye of little faith.
You've been waiting to trot that one out.
Been holding onto it since lunch.
I'm gonna be right back. Okay?
That bad, huh?
Yeah, that bad was about an hour ago.
Just give me the damn thing.
No luck, huh?
No. Not really, no.
I'm sorry I'm not more help to you.
My bell got rung pretty good in Fallujah.
You were in Iraq?
It's where I found Lucy.
We called in this predator strike
on this trigger house.
Two hellfires came in...
...and just destroyed everything.
Then I hear this little whimpering.
So I lift up this piece of roof.
And there she was.
Just wagging her tail.
Well, you think you could look
at one more book?
The rest of you go over there and
make sure N.Y.P.D. doesn't touch anything.
Let's go get it.
What's going on?
One of Barelli's men just got shot.
Paul Ignazio. Barelli's number two.
The guy that asked me to take the Bible.
We can wrap this up with this bunch.
That's our boy.
Body's not waterlogged.
So it's fresh.
.25 caliber casing.
It's a .22 caliber.
This is Brooklyn, buddy. Not Bavaria.
This is a homicide, not an art exhibit.
What are you doing here?
Ruiz, I see they let you out
of your cubicle.
Yeah. This is my show now.
Where's your pet convict?
I left him in the car
with the windows cracked.
What are you doing at my crime scene?
This tails into my case.
This is mob retaliation.
It's my investigation now.
If you don't believe me, ask Hughes.
Don't start with me.
You've got Ruiz
running Organized Crime?
We offer you that bump,
you turn it down.
This isn't mob on mob.
The Bible's the key to this thing.
All you've got is a guy
with a spotty memory...
...who thinks Ignazio may have enticed him
into stealing that Bible.
What we've got is a member
of the Barelli family...
...probably killed by the Morettis.
All right, fine. I'll stay out
of the active investigation.
Just let me take a look
at whatever's on that body.
It's Ruiz's case.
He's not comfortable sharing intel
while Caffrey's with you.
Oh, come on.
He's a convicted felon, Peter.
And Ruiz isn't the only one
You have plenty of other cases
on your sheet.
Let Organized Crime handle this one.
We're off the case?
We've been asked to step down.
This is a retaliation killing
by the other family?
I don't think Paul would've met a Moretti
alone by this river.
Not with all the bad blood in the water.
Now, if Ruiz is right....
That Moretti killed him?
We may be sitting
on the edge of a mob war.
So, what do we do?
I can't do much of anything.
Ruiz is not willing to share the case file.
So where does that leave us?
Like I said, I can't do much of anything.
You know, I'm getting a little chilly
by this water. Aren't you?
Can I borrow your jacket?
I swear to you, Peter.
Under no circumstances
will I impersonate the FBI.
Where do you think you're going?
This is Paul Ignazio's apartment, right?
Hi, Ted Jefferson
from the Evidence Recovery Team.
I don't care if you're Thomas Jefferson.
I need ID.
I pulled a double hommie last night.
It's in the van. My partner took it
to see his girlfriend in Queens.
Not my problem, brother.
Look, I just need a urine swab
from the vic's toilet.
If I don't get it soon,
it'll spike the cross-reactivity and then--
I got orders too, pal. No ID, no pee.
Oh, I know. You can get it.
All you gotta do is swab around
the rim of the toilet.
Then drop the swab into the tube,
screw the cap on the tube.
And bam, we're good to go.
No way. I'm not doing that.
Now it's your problem.
Yeah, cap. I got a local hero
by the name of--
Okay, okay, pee boy. Get it yourself.
It turns out the hero is on our side.
Any problems getting in?
He thinks I'm swabbing toilets.
We've got about 10 minutes
until he gets curious.
Why? Is that the standard toilet
Yes. That's exactly what it is.
You look comfortable
in that FBI windbreaker.
It's time to consider a new career path.
No. I prefer to keep my soul.
What are we looking for?
Paul convinced our guy to steal a Bible.
I wanna know why.
I wanna know who killed him.
And I wanna know if they're related.
He was researching something.
Hundred Years' War, the Crusades...
Why is a mob guy researching
You know the name Maria Fiametta?
Doesn't ring a bell. Who is she?
Art historian, Brooklyn State.
Paul had an appointment
at Brooklyn State.
You find anything?
Your hunch was right.
Ruiz is on the wrong trail.
And how did you learn this?
The same friend who--?
He's real. I'm not making him up.
Oh, I know he's real.
How much do you know?
What'd you find?
A professor who writes about black market.
Sicilian grave robbers, Egyptian smugglers
and Serbian mobsters.
Can't run with those crowds unless
you're willing to get dirt under your nails.
What's his name?
Her name is Maria Fiametta.
A woman. A regular Cindiana Jones.
Do you wanna go meet her?
Yeah, I think I do.
You gentlemen are with the FBI?
Yes. We're hoping you can
help us out on this one.
We're working on a stolen Bible.
Thank you, Agent--?
That's funny. There's a very talented
manuscript forger also named Neal Caffrey.
And you're with the FBI?
It's sort of a work release.
I have to ask.
Is it true that the Vinland map is yours?
How could it be?
But if it is a forgery, it's spectacular.
How about we get back
to my current problem?
A pre-Renaissance Bible
stolen from a church in Brooklyn.
It's very beautiful.
But it's not a Bible.
But it's too small to be a Bible.
Then it's a book of hours.
Most likely, yes. In the Italian style.
A large prayer book.
To show their devotion, monks and nuns
had to recite the Psalms...
...hymns, or chants at specific times
all day long.
Lots of Sundays.
This is a particularly nice example.
Well, Ignazio thought so too.
Do you know him?
We believe he stole it.
Oh, well, I hope you catch him.
Can't. He's dead.
Looks like a mob hit. But we're still hoping
to figure out who took the book.
Well, I'd love to know.
It's quite beautiful.
Here's my card.
If you hear anything or come across anyone
who's looking to buy or sell something....
I will call you.
It's a pleasure.
If you are ever in the mood
to discuss medieval manuscripts....
You'd be surprised how often
I'm in the mood for that.
Was this just an exercise
Because you win.
It's just a bottle, man.
The lab needs to reexamine its work.
The lab went over every inch
of that thing.
black light, nothing.
I even tested the remnants of the wine
left in the bottle...
...which, by the way, was a very lovely
boxed Franzia from early October.
Oh, your FBI friend keeps you
on a tight leash.
Keep looking, Moz.
Something's there, okay?
She's lying about Paul. She's two degrees
away from our homeless guy.
I also have trouble buying the fact that an
attractive history professor offed a mobster.
No. You don't want me to see
the missing inventory.
If I come down there, there'll be a lot more
missing than centerpieces. You got that?
Okay, maybe it's not a complete stretch.
Sorry. It's just my vendor.
No, it's fine.
We were just trying to decide
if a woman is capable of murder.
Oh, I think so.
What's the issue?
All right, I think we're dealing
with a shell game.
Visual aids. Nice.
Big Gulp is Paul, dead mob guy.
Coffee cup is Steve, our homeless vet.
Mug is Maria.
Napkin's the Bible.
Make Maria the saltshaker.
Maria's the mug. Watch.
We'll start with Paul,
who for some reason reads Maria's book...
...and realizes the Healing Bible
is worth a hell of a lot of cash.
But it's also Barelli's pride and joy.
He doesn't wanna risk Barelli's wrath.
He gets Steve to steal the Bible.
Steve to steal the Bible.
But if it doesn't work, then he lets
the homeless guy take the fall.
Well, that's evil.
He takes the Bible from Steve,
calls Maria to make the deal.
Yeah. The deal goes down wrong.
Or Paul decides he wants both
the cash and the book.
Well, whatever it is, Paul ends up dead.
The Bible goes missing.
Steve never even met Maria.
And our girl walks away clean
with a very expensive book.
Okay, how'd you do that?
Never reveal your secrets.
How do we get Maria to reveal hers?
If I stretch it, I might be able
to get a warrant to get into her place.
You know, if she's smart, she's not gonna
have that Bible anywhere close to her.
El, I've never seen this devious side.
Don't cross me.
Elizabeth's right about the Bible.
She won't keep it close.
I've got it. She knew who you were.
Neal Caffrey, master forger.
If she's got the book, it links her to the
murder. She's gonna wanna get rid of it.
We've got the usual channels
But if she thinks you might be interested....
Convince her I'm pliable.
We find some street contacts.
Float it out that old Neal Caffrey
is back in business.
That could take time
and there's no guarantee.
Why don't you just ask her out?
That could work. Think she'll say yes?
I could prob--
To history, old and new.
How does an FBI agent get a table here?
It's, like, a six month wait.
Oh, an FBI agent doesn't.
Don't forget I had a previous life.
Do you believe in reincarnation?
You could say that.
How about you?
Who were you in your previous life?
Same person I've always been,
with '90s hair.
I doubt that.
Let me see your lifeline.
Come on. It'll help fill in the blanks.
You're not seriously gonna read
my palm right now, are you?
Not afraid to get dirty.
Well, that's true. What else?
Between that and the calluses,
I'm guessing work gets in the way.
No ring for you either.
Yeah. Prison got in the way.
So it must be weird for you
working for the FBI.
I don't know. It's always interesting
to read from the other team's playbook.
The other team?
I thought you were out of the game.
Oh, I am. Retired and rehabilitated.
Have you found your missing Bible?
You know anyone
who wants to buy one?
Looters approach me all the time.
So do buyers.
It's a very attractive offer.
It sure is.
Judge Rattigan faxed the warrant.
All right, Neal's got orders to keep her away
from her home for at least an hour.
Can you bypass the alarm?
Let's do it.
Oh, you sure?
I might order something you don't like
and then where will we be?
I trust you.
After all, you work for the FBI.
Now you read minds?
The question is do you?
It's not bad for a college professor, huh?
Yeah, well, she's either a crook
or a trust fund baby.
Ha-ha. Yeah, maybe it's both.
Ha. They usually are.
And not a bad place
to drop the bug either.
Yeah. Yeah, yeah. That's good coverage.
Let's do it.
She's bringing him back here.
Of course she is.
Oh, you jealous,
you ain't getting any of it?
I'm perfectly fine with the stale ass coffee
I have in the van. Thank you.
Yeah, we're good.
Don't spill that stale ass coffee.
It's a bug. I can hear.
They're home. Roll tape.
So, what shall we talk about?
There's this story about these two spies.
A French duke and an Italian count.
They're sworn enemies who spent
the whole year trying to trick each other.
But on New Year's Eve, they got to ask one
question the other had to answer truthfully.
Yes. The trick was asking the right question
because you may never get another chance.
I've always said honesty
is a more challenging game.
Honesty is a more challenging game?
Jeez, how come my dates
don't go like this?
You don't say things like,
"Honesty is a more challenging game."
It's because nobody actually talks like that.
They do in Neal Caffrey's world.
This wine needs to breathe.
I'm gonna get a decanter.
Why don't you put some music on?
What are you in the mood for?
Oh, you know.
Ten years painting the same Bible.
If it weren't for the monks' devotion...
...we would've lost one of the most
significant works of Greek literature forever.
You know what?
I don't trust you.
I wouldn't trust me either.
I think we have a technical problem.
That's one way of putting it.
Let's play the spies' game.
I'll ask you a question....
I have to tell you the truth?
And you have to tell me the truth.
Make it a good one.
Which Neal Caffrey are you?
Are you working for the good guys...
...or are you working a bigger game?
That answer your question?
Feds linked Barelli's Bible
to Paul Ignazio...
...and you to Paul through his visits
to the college.
Look, Maria. I'm living proof
if the feds want something from you...
...they'll turn your life inside out
to get it.
They'll tell Barelli you have his book.
Even if I don't?
I can get you 250,000 in two days.
It is worth a lot more than that.
Not if you're in prison or dead.
Between the FBI and the mob,
there's no way you can move it.
The other team's playbook.
If I shouldn't risk it, why are you?
Won't they send you back for good?
I'm already in prison.
We have a deal?
How did you know she was in on it?
I checked Paul's credit.
He got wired 10 G's
from a shell corporation in Gibraltar...
...owned by your lady professor.
Oh, by the way,
how did last night's fishing go?
Get any tape?
But Caffrey says she has the book.
She'll sell, but only to him.
Of course he'd say that. The terms?
Two-fifty, wired to a Swiss account.
No way. What if he cuts a deal with her?
He runs away with the book.
What choice do we have?
I don't need another dead body
in the East River.
We'll set up a dummy account.
That's risky. What if she takes
a shot at Neal?
I wouldn't lose any sleep over it.
Everybody sleep okay?
Cayman's First National.
I'll e-mail you the PIN
right before the buy.
First they send me to prison.
Tomorrow they give me a quarter million
taxpayer dollars in an offshore account.
Guess that shows how much confidence
they have in you.
And how much I have in you.
Morning. You're up early.
Yeah. I couldn't sleep.
I can tell. You're wearing your lucky tie.
Hey, did you find the Bible?
Yeah. The professor had it.
Neal's gonna buy it back.
You're giving him money, wow.
No wonder. Lucky tie.
No way. We set up a fake wire transfer.
Then what are you worried about?
He has to convince her
that he's working us.
Which means he has to cut his anklet
The book's worth a fortune.
He could run with it.
Well, you have a lot more faith
in a ratty old tie than you do Neal.
Yeah. Well, this ratty old tie has never
forged a priceless map of Vinland.
Why is it so hard for you to believe
that he'll do the right thing?
Let's just say that's not his first instinct.
And trust isn't yours.
Occupational hazard. I like to know
I can count on something.
I know you do.
Sometimes you just have
to take a leap of faith.
Look at him.
Son of a bitch should be
in leg irons, you ask me.
Nobody asked you, Ruiz.
He conned you too, Pete, huh?
Here she comes.
We have a chaperone.
White van over my left shoulder.
What happened to not mixing business
That's for us. He's patting her down.
I need a cigarette after that pat down.
Well, what is that?
She making sure that's not a gun
in his pocket?
So where's my money?
Where's my book?
When I cut the anklet, our friends
are gonna know I'm running.
Can you lose them?
I'm not going back in.
I've been chased by the carabinieri,
drug cartels in Bogotá--
I get it. You're good.
With all due respect, Neal...
...we could make quite a fine pair.
With all due respect, Maria,
shut up and drive.
He cut the tracker.
Right on schedule.
You knew about this?
Of course. He had to convince her
he's rigging the system.
What if he really is?
There are a dozen unmarked in the area.
N.Y.P.D. has eyes in the sky.
There's nowhere to hide. Let's go.
I can't believe I'm doing this.
I spent a long time looking for her.
I guess it wasn't meant to be.
It's calfskin vellum.
Golden chalice of Paul.
It's on its way.
And here it is. Thank you very much.
It's a pleasure doing business with you.
You'll never know how much pleasure
it could have been.
You know, I had a feeling all
that lovey-dovey stuff last night was BS.
Next time, you should trust
Oh, I did.
Lifted it when I patted you down.
You forgot about the one in the chamber.
Damn it. I've never been a gun guy.
Give me the book, Neal.
If you're gonna take me on,
it's gonna cost you a small fortune.
You can't do it? Is it because
of the money or the history?
You know the answer.
Is that why you killed Paul?
Paul wanted the money and the book.
Yeah. That's what happens
when you get greedy.
Drop the gun.
Gun down or we shoot.
Right now, put your gun down.
Your hands behind your head.
Man down. Man down!
Cut it a little close there, pal.
Guess the big guy had your back, huh?
Well, I'll tell you one thing.
You made Lauren's day.
Yeah, not Barelli.
How did you and your scouts
find out about this?
I got one of those police scanners.
It's a hobby.
She's Paulie's shooter?
Some kind of lover's quarrel?
I hate to break it to you, but your nephew
decided to freelance behind your back.
Oh, it's sad, you know?
If you can't trust family, who can you trust?
So if you guys are done,
I'd like my Bible back.
Mass starts in one hour.
Would it kill you to say thank you,
huh? Would it?
I guess it would.
All right, just give it to him.
What do you mean what?
Give him the Bible.
I gave it to some FBI guy.
Some FBI guy?
Think you can get over on me?
You'll wish you were never born.
Yeah. I seem to be getting this speech
a lot lately.
Just shut up, Barelli.
This ain't over.
Where is it, Caffrey?
I'll let Barelli give you a ride home.
Look, I'm telling you guys I don't know.
I know where it is.
What are you doing with my Bible?
She would've died without it if I....
Not so fast, wacko.
You know who you're messing with?
You've got it, Barelli.
Just leave him alone.
No, I'm not gonna let this go.
Hey, sweet girl.
Her name's Lucy.
She don't look good. What's the matter?
She's been sick until today.
I got this vet in Yonkers.
He saved my pugs from diabetes.
Wanna take a ride? Go see him?
Have her checked out?
I was gonna give it back after....
- How'd you know?
- Okay, I didn't know.
But I took a leap of faith
that you'd do the right thing.
I told you it's a healing Bible.
Oh, here we go. No way.
Barelli's a softy for dogs.
Oh, not enough smiting
and lightning for you?
That's not a miracle.
It's not a parting of the Red Sea.
I'll take my miracles
where I can get them.
- We have the honors?
- Yes, sir.
Hey, is that my jacket?
He works in mysterious ways.
Mozzie, wake up.
Let me see your warrant.
Lemon juice and a candle.
How did I miss this?
Weren't you ever a Boy Scout?
Oh, I got kicked out.
Pinewood derby, magnets,
it was a whole thing.
It's a map.
Of the New York City subway.
What do you think it means?