Where the Bears Are (2012–…): Season 1, Episode 24 - Bear Trap: Part One - full transcript
Reggie and Wood arrive at the Palm Springs condo to rescue Nelson, but their friend is nowhere to be found because he is about to become the killer's next victim during a frightening desert showdown.
Hey everybody. Before you watch episode 24.
I'd like to show you a quick sneak peek of our upcoming
Where The Bears Are Season 1 DVD.
That's right, we're releasing a DVD that will be chock full of amazing extras
including a 20-minute Christmas Episode.
Take a look.
Silent Night.
Hey, The Christmas strippers are here!
You gotta love Holiday Strippers, right?
Nothing better than Christmas music and hairy ass.
Plus the DVD features the uncensored, full-length feature version of our show, with nudity!
And all new never before seen opening credit sequence.
Bloopers, outtakes, deleted scenes
and clips from Wood's infamous Bear Webcam Show.
We are completely self-financed so it's only with your help we can do a Season 2.
So we really do need every single fan to buy DVD if we're going to continue.
So that means if you watch our show you gotta buy at least 1, 2
hell, by 20 of them for all your friends, Okay.
Go to our our website at wherethebearsare.tv
and order your DVD today.
Oh, and one last thing.
Today's episode features a pretty significant plot twist.
So please do us a favor and don't give it away online or on Facebook or to any of your friends.
That way you won't spoil it for all the other fans who watch the episode after you do.
Thanks a lot guys.
Enjoy the episode.
Oh my God, Cyril. Thank God you're here!
Todd. Todd was the one who poisoned J Cub. It was him.
I just killed him.
He was just using me. Because he didn't want us to get too close to the truth.
What are you doing here?
Your friends called all worried sick about you.
I told them you were fine, but I figured I'd come and check up on you.
What?
It doesn't matter.
So, it was Todd.
You live with a guy for 2 years. It's like you don't even know him.
Did you just say that you lived with he and J Cub?
Just for a little while. Till they kicked me out.
J Cub didn't feel comfortable having me around anymore. Go figure.
Oh my God!
It was you! You were the one who poisoned J Cub!
The third roommate!
Don't go Nelson!
You've paid for the condo for the entire weekend.
I hope you enjoyed the timeshare.
Cause your time is running out!
Why are you talking normal?
Let's just say I had to get out of San Francisco in a hurry
and I needed to reinvent myself.
What are you talking about?
In Boston I was Southern.
And in Chicago, I was Quebecois.
Why do you have to keep changing your identity?
Because I'm a serial killer!
Oh God, I knew it! Oh God!
I thought Wood was the dumb one.
So, you finally got it all figured out now Nelson?
Yeah, I do!
Reggie told me that you didn't have a computer.
Yeah, he told me that.
So the only way you could have reached J Cub was through email.
Of course I had Todd's account. We shared a room. I knew his password.
And the cops never even thought to question you. Right?
They didn't even know you lived with them. So why would they question you.
J Cub's dead. And Todd, poor Todd. He was avoiding them.
It all makes sense now.
You were in love with J Cub
but he only had eyes for Todd.
I had it all wrong.
J Cub must have followed Todd to the bathroom.
To try to have sex with him.
But, Todd turned him down. Didn't he?
Yes. J Cub was devastated. And I was there to help pick up the pieces.
But no matter how hard you tried. J Cub was never gonna love you.
And if I couldn't have him. Nobody would!!
Like I told Reggie. J Cub and I shared everything.
Even Chapstick!
And that's how I poisoned him.
Chapstick?
It was never in his Martini at all.
The poison was on the glass from J Cub's lips.
That's why you had a break into our house and retrieve it before we turned it over to the Police.
How did you find out about the glass?
I had access to Todd's email. I know everything, dumbass!
What's that?
It stops the heart.
And with your high cholesterol and blood pressure.
Who would question it?
Doctor Harvey Rosenblatt will!
My triglyceride numbers went down 50 points at my last physical.
Maybe. But even a normal heart would feel the stress of
killing your lover in self defense. After you find out he's a murderer.
OH!!
Let's go for a little walk!
Don't kill me. I worked so hard to get those numbers down.
Please don't kill me.
I'll get you a role on a Disney Channel show!
Oh wait. We don't have the code to get in.
Oh, I know. It's 7, 9, 12.
Cyril told me in case I wanted to come visit.
How did you remember? I'm the one with the photogenic mind.
Because it just happens to be the dick sizes of my last 3 boyfriends.
Come on! Hurry! Do you still have 12's number?
No. And he defriended me on Facebook.
I'd like to show you a quick sneak peek of our upcoming
Where The Bears Are Season 1 DVD.
That's right, we're releasing a DVD that will be chock full of amazing extras
including a 20-minute Christmas Episode.
Take a look.
Silent Night.
Hey, The Christmas strippers are here!
You gotta love Holiday Strippers, right?
Nothing better than Christmas music and hairy ass.
Plus the DVD features the uncensored, full-length feature version of our show, with nudity!
And all new never before seen opening credit sequence.
Bloopers, outtakes, deleted scenes
and clips from Wood's infamous Bear Webcam Show.
We are completely self-financed so it's only with your help we can do a Season 2.
So we really do need every single fan to buy DVD if we're going to continue.
So that means if you watch our show you gotta buy at least 1, 2
hell, by 20 of them for all your friends, Okay.
Go to our our website at wherethebearsare.tv
and order your DVD today.
Oh, and one last thing.
Today's episode features a pretty significant plot twist.
So please do us a favor and don't give it away online or on Facebook or to any of your friends.
That way you won't spoil it for all the other fans who watch the episode after you do.
Thanks a lot guys.
Enjoy the episode.
Oh my God, Cyril. Thank God you're here!
Todd. Todd was the one who poisoned J Cub. It was him.
I just killed him.
He was just using me. Because he didn't want us to get too close to the truth.
What are you doing here?
Your friends called all worried sick about you.
I told them you were fine, but I figured I'd come and check up on you.
What?
It doesn't matter.
So, it was Todd.
You live with a guy for 2 years. It's like you don't even know him.
Did you just say that you lived with he and J Cub?
Just for a little while. Till they kicked me out.
J Cub didn't feel comfortable having me around anymore. Go figure.
Oh my God!
It was you! You were the one who poisoned J Cub!
The third roommate!
Don't go Nelson!
You've paid for the condo for the entire weekend.
I hope you enjoyed the timeshare.
Cause your time is running out!
Why are you talking normal?
Let's just say I had to get out of San Francisco in a hurry
and I needed to reinvent myself.
What are you talking about?
In Boston I was Southern.
And in Chicago, I was Quebecois.
Why do you have to keep changing your identity?
Because I'm a serial killer!
Oh God, I knew it! Oh God!
I thought Wood was the dumb one.
So, you finally got it all figured out now Nelson?
Yeah, I do!
Reggie told me that you didn't have a computer.
Yeah, he told me that.
So the only way you could have reached J Cub was through email.
Of course I had Todd's account. We shared a room. I knew his password.
And the cops never even thought to question you. Right?
They didn't even know you lived with them. So why would they question you.
J Cub's dead. And Todd, poor Todd. He was avoiding them.
It all makes sense now.
You were in love with J Cub
but he only had eyes for Todd.
I had it all wrong.
J Cub must have followed Todd to the bathroom.
To try to have sex with him.
But, Todd turned him down. Didn't he?
Yes. J Cub was devastated. And I was there to help pick up the pieces.
But no matter how hard you tried. J Cub was never gonna love you.
And if I couldn't have him. Nobody would!!
Like I told Reggie. J Cub and I shared everything.
Even Chapstick!
And that's how I poisoned him.
Chapstick?
It was never in his Martini at all.
The poison was on the glass from J Cub's lips.
That's why you had a break into our house and retrieve it before we turned it over to the Police.
How did you find out about the glass?
I had access to Todd's email. I know everything, dumbass!
What's that?
It stops the heart.
And with your high cholesterol and blood pressure.
Who would question it?
Doctor Harvey Rosenblatt will!
My triglyceride numbers went down 50 points at my last physical.
Maybe. But even a normal heart would feel the stress of
killing your lover in self defense. After you find out he's a murderer.
OH!!
Let's go for a little walk!
Don't kill me. I worked so hard to get those numbers down.
Please don't kill me.
I'll get you a role on a Disney Channel show!
Oh wait. We don't have the code to get in.
Oh, I know. It's 7, 9, 12.
Cyril told me in case I wanted to come visit.
How did you remember? I'm the one with the photogenic mind.
Because it just happens to be the dick sizes of my last 3 boyfriends.
Come on! Hurry! Do you still have 12's number?
No. And he defriended me on Facebook.