Where Do You Live? (2015–…): Season 2, Episode 4 - Episode #2.4 - full transcript
You don't put on lipstick for me
anymore like you used to
What a sad day...
She's just singing,
Not cheating, not a slut.
"Fifty Shades of Grey."
Nice, is it a book about graphics?
It's a book about relationships.
With Bukharians, the bride's parents
decide about the venue and the food.
Not exactly...
Keep quiet.
The funniest thing happened, Esti.
What?
Don't tell her
she's here with us.
I have many memories
from Bukhara,
but more than all, the ancient Torah scroll
hidden in my late father's basement.
It's a Torah scroll.
Hai and his brother were arrested
for smuggling in Uzbekistan.
Drugs.
-A Torah scroll.
What do I get out of it?
I'll let you call me Esther.
To your grandmother,
my Heftzigul.
Is Dafi there with you?
Yes.
Dear listeners,
my daughter Melika and I
would like to invite you all
to the Torah welcoming ceremony
since I am the daughter of a Cohen
and the Chatan Torah.
Shame on her.
-I'd like to wish my two grandsons
a safe trip home.
"May the Lord
bless you and keep you.
"May the Lord make his face shine on you
and be gracious to you.
"May the Lord turn his face toward you
and give you peace."
On Thursday at 12:00
at the Bukharian synagogue
in Tel Kabir,
you're all invited.
Say that I'm the Chatan Torah.
How can I say
you'll be the Chatan Torah?
I, Melika Shem-Tov,
invite you all
to the Bukharian synagogue.
I am the Chatan...
What happened?
-Technical problem.
But Mom, you know that
I'm the Chatan of this event.
Why do you think that?
I'm the one who paid
for their plane tickets,
I'm the sponsor.
I'm the Chatan Torah.
All you've been doing since
you stopped working is harass everyone.
I didn't stop working,
I just retired.
Everyone always has to do
as you say.
That's not true.
Go in peace.
She's crazy.
Did they land yet?
How should I know?
When will they get here?
There they are.
Hello!
May your grandfather's memory
be blessed.
The Angel of Death.
They're on their way, aren't they?
Where are they?
Hello.
Hello, Daddy's darling,
Thank God.
Give thanks to the Lord
for He is good.
Where's my Bekhor?
-We missed you. -Daddy's darling.
Welcome home.
-I can't believe it, you got your hair cut.
Let me see.
You're beautiful.
-Enough, Mom.
I was only gone for four days,
not two years in Siberia.
Thank God.
I kept my promise, Grandma.
-We kept our promise.
Yes, this is the Torah scroll.
I recognize it.
Good job for bringing it
from Bukhara.
I can't believe it.
May this Torah scroll protect us all.
Amen.
May the Lord
give us peace and quiet.
Amen.
Well done to you both.
May you live and be well, Grandma.
I'm very proud of you, boys.
How was it?
-It took us ages to find the house.
But we found it thanks to Bekhor
who remembered everything.
Thanks to me, we go into the house.
-Thanks to you, we got locked in the basement.
You coward, you're lucky
Dafi was with you.
Dafi? Damn her.
-No.
She was in Bukhara?
What about Esti?
Is it over?
He learned everything from you,
you jackass!
I didn't tell him to bring her along!
It wasn't me.
The important thing
is that we got the Torah scroll.
It's all because of your scroll.
Whenever we do as you say.
He's with his Ashkenazi girl
and he's back with his temporary girl
and then there's Margo
who goes singing at night.
She does what?
No, nothing.
She sings at night, in the shower.
You deserve it!
-Shut up.
Bekhor, not now.
-Yes, now. -Daddy's darling.
Not now.
-Don't tell me what to do. Shut up.
Hey, not in front of the Torah scroll.
Quiet!
Shut up,
don't tell me what to do.
Good.
Hello?
How come you're answering?
Shouldn't you be singing
at some nightclub?
I already regret answering.
That's what you do when I'm away in Bukhara?
Sing at slutty clubs?
Bekhor, why talk like that?
That's the first thing
you have to say to me?
That's the first thing you do
when I go overseas?
You're so stupid, Bekhor.
This only proves I was right
not to answer before.
I had such a good time
on my own.
Shame on you.
What's become of you?
And I was foolish enough
to miss you.
You have a funny way
of showing it.
I wanted to patch things up
between us,
I thought
I'd take you to Uzbekistan,
show you where
I was born and raised.
They'd hang you
for much less over there!
Bekhor, sweetheart,
calm down.
Tell your mother
you're staying with her.
Hello?
Want me to talk to her?
No!
Want me to talk to Esti?
No!
Don't even think about it, Mom.
I didn't think, I asked.
Sudanese, Eritrean,
I'm not a geography expert.
I actually understand
why they're sensitive about it.
Yeah? Wine?
We're in the middle of work.
-One glass.
I want to celebrate.
Two Chardonnay 2010.
Wouldn't you prefer a bottle?
Sure, bring us a bottle.
-Remind me what we're celebrating?
That you didn't answer
your boyfriend's calls.
Good job. Cheers.
-He deserves it.
Cheers.
Here you go.
It's okay, I'll pour.
Cheers.
We have to look each other in the eyes.
What beautiful eyes.
No problem.
I'm sorry.
-No, no, it's fine.
You challenge me, Esther,
I like it.
Okay.
Come on in.
Come in, my son.
How are you? Welcome home.
-Thank you.
Our groom.
-Thank you.
Don't stand there,
come sit down.
Esti's at work,
she'll be home soon.
Let's have some green tea and talk.
Thank you,
but I'm in a hurry.
I have things to do.
-Come on, just five minutes.
Strolling with you all night...
So, did you have
a good time in Bukhara?
Yes, and we found the Torah scroll
and brought it home.
Torah schmorah.
Did you have some fun too?
No, there was no time.
It was just scroll, scroll, scroll
all day.
Really?
No.
What?
We also...
went to visit
my grandfather's grave, may he rest in peace.
-May he rest in peace.
Let me tell you, Hai,
I know about everything
you did in Bukhara.
You can't hide anything from me.
Hai, you...
Good for you.
You and Bekhor
are such good kids.
Going to Bukhara
for your grandmother.
Good job!
Good job
Thank you.
You're invited to the ceremony,
please come.
I already took the day off.
I'll come with Esti.
-Really?
You have my word.
Cheers.
-Cheers.
Good tea, hot.
Drink up.
-No, I burned my tongue.
Come on.
-I'll wait for it to cool down.
She didn't get an abortion
and gave birth to a black baby.
Now her husband is stuck with her
and a baby that isn't his.
Poor guy.
-Who?
Him. She's a whore.
-Yes, but I feel sorry for the baby too.
God bless him.
Margo, what a surprise.
Melika, why do I feel like
this isn't a surprise at all?
Are you following me?
You know I come here?
Melika, if you're here to talk about Bekhor,
it's not a good time.
No.
-Don't waste your precious time.
I told Victoria I was coming,
right, Victoria?
Yes, yes, yes.
Hair removal, right?
Legs?
What did we say?
-Just to fix my nail polish, that's all.
Oh, okay,
it'll only take a few minutes.
Come, I'll fix it for you.
Are you coming to
the ceremony today? -Of course.
Yes, I know you're coming.
No.
Melika, I'm proud of you.
-What?
That you're not trying
to convince me to come.
No, of course not.
I know how hard it is to get over
someone cheating on you.
You're telling me?
I was talking about married women,
not divorced.
That's why I got divorced.
That's why I'm saying,
if Margo is having a hard time with Bekhor
and she decided to divorce him,
it's her decision,
with all the pain and sorrow I feel
as a mother.
Divorce?
Who said anything about a divorce?
Of course not,
but we're all Bukharians.
Bukharians like to talk
and today everyone will come to the ceremony
and ask where Margo is.
What'll I tell them?
I'm all out of excuses,
I won't know what to say.
They'll start asking questions
and gossiping.
When they come here, they'll
gossip about her too, but it's her decision.
Think it over again.
What about the other hand?
No, I'll do it at home.
It's a waste of money.
You're all invited to
the Torah welcoming ceremony...
Esti?
Why aren't you dressed?
We'll be late.
No, no, I'm not going.
Why not?
I have too much work to do.
My daughter,
what will people say?
What do I care?
The Torah welcoming ceremony
is a big mitzvah.
It'll bring you good luck.
Dad, let it go.
You're all invited to
the Torah welcoming ceremony
at the Bukharian synagogue...
What did he do?
I'll break that idiot's arms and legs.
You're all invited to
the Torah welcoming ceremony
at the Bukharian synagogue...
We've got a problem.
I gave him my word.
It's not nice.
Who did you give your word to?
That clown of yours, that's who.
He invited me personally.
When? What did he say?
He came to invite me,
had some tea, saw some knives and left.
I don't understand.
What did he want?
He wanted you.
Who do you think, me?
If you don't go,
I don't go.
You're all invited to
the Torah welcoming ceremony...
She won't talk...
at the Bukharian synagogue...
Come, Grandma.
You're all invited to
the Torah welcoming ceremony...
Let's go.
Wait. Grandma,
I have something else to give you.
Okay.
But this is only from me.
How did you get this?
He bought it for peanuts, Grandma.
Shut up, you idiot.
It's from the old man.
This old Ashkenazi man
with gray hair, handsome.
He said he knows you
and sent this for you.
Alexander Siminovich?
He's still alive?
Alive and kicking,
he wouldn't stop talking about you,
praising you.
You see?
I don't know what he's talking about, Grandma,
but as long as we brought the Torah.
With such grandsons,
I don't have a care in the world.
May you live and be well, Grandma.
-Wait.
I want to take the Torah in.
Where's your respect
for your older brother?
Come, Grandma.
You coming?
Yeah.
I'm so glad you came.
I'm here
because I want your mother
to stop following me
wherever I go.
-What?
Your mother asked me,
not to mention begged me to come.
I'm only here for her.
She didn't want people talking.
So don't get the wrong idea.
How are you doing, gorgeous?
Now I can't touch you?
-There are...
How are you?
There are people here.
That's how I was brought up.
Okay, no problem.
From now on we'll hug
through telepathy. Watch this.
I'm hugging you.
Sorry we're late,
there was no parking.
It's okay.
First of all, there's an apartment for rent
on the third floor for 3.500.
We'd rather rent to Bukharians,
not outsiders.
Second,
we have a second-hand Subaru for sale,
like brand-new,
1994, red.
I have the keys,
whoever's interested.
And now, a great privilege
has befallen upon us today.
Today we are welcoming a Torah scroll...
Praise the Lord.
We are welcoming into the Bukharian synagogue
an ancient Torah scroll
of the Shem-Tov family
from beautiful Bukhara
that belonged to Grandpa Hai HaCohen,
may the memory of the righteous be a blessing.
Amen.
-Amen. -Thank you.
And now, the first Hakafah
for Abraham our forefather.
Who would like to do the honors?
18 shekels.
-18 shekel bid.
36 shekels.
-36 shekels.
36 shekels.going once,
36 shekels going twice,
sold!
"He who blessed our forefathers
Abraham, Isaac and Jacob
"will bless Abo,
son of Sarah, Shem-Tov.
Who is giving the honor to
his soon-to-be in-law Dov Gurevich.
Dov Gurevich...
I'm 54.
No, your mother's name.
Devorah.
-Dov, son of Devorah,
may you have good health
and a good livelihood. -Amen.
And complete repent.
-Amen.
The second Hakafah.
Ben.
-One Ben.
Two Bens.
-Two Bens going once,
You have to make a bid.
Three Bens.
-Three Bens.
Going once.
-Two Michaels.
Two Michaels from Bekhor.
Going once.
Ten Michaels.
One, two, three, sold!
For you!
More power to you.
-May you live and be well.
He who blessed our forefathers
Abraham, Isaac and Jacob
will bless 54-year-old Dov.
Way to go, he just donated
1.010 shekels to the synagogue
Seriously?
Let us rejoice with this Torah...
You're the man!
I want to thank you
all for coming,
I made this whole thing possible...
-Okay, Mom, okay.
With my boys, these nice boys.
-Okay, Mom.
Hello, everyone.
Welcome.
We can't hear you,
grab a mic.
Hold on.
I want to make a toast
to my wonderful family.
To my mother and father.
To my beloved brother.
To Molly, my beautiful little girl.
And most important, to Margo,
my wonderful, beautiful wife.
And to our new brother Guy.
I'm very happy for you,
good luck to you both.
You're getting
an unpolished diamond.
You need to polish her
the way you want,
so she'll fit you like a glove.
As the Good Book says,
a woman should be
"a helper suitable for him."
"A helper suitable for him,"
right?
Bekhor, Daddy's darling...
Cheers, Dad. -Enough.
-Isn't that what it says, rabbi?
But that's what it says.
Is that what it says? -Yes.
That's what the verse says.
-Sit, Bekhor.
Molly's the best.
Nowadays, women...
women are pieces of shit.
-Bekhor.
Cheers.
-Cheers. -Cheers.
Guy...
-Enough.
Just so you know
happiness isn't worth anything
if your wife are children
aren't by your side.
Remember that.
-Cheers. -For all eternity.
Cheers.
-Cheers. -Cheers.
Appreciate your youth, your wife,
your family. Cheers.
-Cheers.
I made you osh palov.
-Really?
Abo made it.
-Wow. -Yes.
Our men cook.
-Really?
Once a year.
Where were we?
I was just saying
what a lovely family this is.
I'm sure, thank you.
-Thank you, thank you.
You really have an amazing tradition.
That's why I think
everything at the wedding
should be Bukharian style.
-Of course.
Especially the custom of the groom's
parents deciding everything about the wedding.
I'm gonna kill you.
This is only
for a Torah welcoming ceremony.
Wait till you see the wedding.
As far as the food and hospitality goes,
there's no doubt about it.
But what about the venue, the dress,
the invitations? I have to decide something too.
We'll let you decide.
-I'll let myself.
I'll help you.
-I'll help myself.
I know a lot.
-I know more.
But I...
-Don't worry.
Ladies and gentlemen,
we have gathered today
in the beautiful synagogue of Tel Kabir
to welcome
my late father's Torah scroll.
What is she saying?
-Mr. Hai Ishan HaCohen,
son of Heftzibah.
I don't understand.
-I'll translate later.
Today I'm very pleased
with my grandsons,
this Torah scroll which was in Bukhara was
rescued and brought home thanks to them.
Many thanks.
I only said one word
while they were eating soup,
they didn't even wait to eat
the beets that were in the soup,
and they hurried off
to do as I wished,
unlike kids today who don't like
when old people talk too much.
If you talk too much,
they can't listen for more than a minute
and wave you off.
Grandma, all we did was
have a good time and come home.
We noticed that all the entrance gates
in the Jewish Quarter
are very low.
I asked someone,
"Dear brother,
why are all the entrance gates so low?"
What did the genius say?
"Dear brother, we have respect,
"when we go through the gate,
we say, 'Peace be upon you.'"
I said, "Okay.
"Then why are the entrances
to the bathroom so low?
"Do you expect me to say to someone
in the bathroom, 'Peace be upon you.'?"
Grandma, enough talking.
Why don't you sing us a song?
I can't sing anymore. Instead I'd like
to ask Margo to sing us a song.
Margo! Margo! Margo!
Margo! Margo! Margo!
Praise the Lord, O Jerusalem
Praise your God, O Zion
Praise the Lord, O Jerusalem...
You ex daughter-in-law sings so well.
Why didn't Esther come?
Praise your God, O Zion
Praise your God, O Zion
When I was in Bukhara,
I got pulled over by a policeman.
He sees I'm a tourist
and thinks,
"I'm gonna get me some dollars."
But he didn't realize he caught
a Bukharian who's more Bukharian than him.
He asks,
"Do you have your seat belt on?"
I say, yes.
"License and registration?"
"Yes, I have everything."
He doesn't know what to do,
he wants to get some money out of me,
so he asks,
"Did you come from Israel?"
"Yes, yes."
"Do you have a radio in your car?"
"Yes."
"Do you have
an Avraham Tolmasov CD?"
"Yes, yes."
"Then why don't you play
something happy and upbeat?"
I didn't understand why.
but I took the CD
and played a happy song.
The guy starts dancing
in the middle of the street.
People start honking,
but he doesn't care, he's dancing away.
I was embarrassed.
I say to him,
"Brother, what are you doing?"
What does the imbecile say to me?
"Dear brother,
I'll dance a little
"and you stick dollar bills on me."
What did he say?
The moment
we've all been waiting for,
the film that Bekhor and I, Abo Photo,
made especially for you,
for our dear grandmother,
and of course for our mother.
The film about the lost scroll
in Bukhara. Enjoy.
Welcome to beautiful Bukhara.
Gorgeous Bukhara.
I was born in Bukhara
and Hai was born in Israel,
but we were raised on
Grandma's stories, the family's stories,
about beautiful Bukhara.
Esti didn't show up,
I have to go see what's going on.
What are you, a girl?
Don't chase after her.
Women don't like chumps.
Be a man.
If she doesn't want to come,
she can go to hell.
I'm going.
Can you manage without me?
With a woman,
you have to show strength from the beginning.
If you start begging now,
she'll be on your case for the rest of your life.
Yeah, 'cause with Margo
things are going great.
It's my mistake,
that I wasn't stronger with her,
but you should learn
from the mistakes of others.
Hai, Hai, Hai.
The Lyabi Hauz,
"the sea of Bukhara."
-Chump.
It's also the swimming pool of Bukhara,
the laundromat of Bukhara
and the well of Bukhara.
Here the mighty have fallen.
This is a memorial...
Hey, Abo. how are you?
-Hey, Guy.
Nice film.
So moving.
Abo, can I talk to you
for a minute?
Just one minute, that's all.
I was thinking, Abo,
because Molly and I are engaged,
and thought it might be okay...
-Sshh.
Only if it's okay with you.
I just thought that...
Spit it out.
To spend the night at your house tonight?
-What?
Abo, I promise you,
nothing will happen
and no one will see me go in.
I just...
I want to sleep beside
my future wife for one night.
We both need that.
You'll sleep on the floor.
Without a mattress.
Hello, how are you?
-I'll go get her, groom.
Esti, Esti, come here.
He came in the middle
of the ceremony to see you.
Hey.
I brought you something
from Uzbekistan.
What's the problem?
What's wrong?
Nothing.
Why are you acting like this?
It's not like you. Look.
It's gold,
it's an antique, huh?
You want to know
why I'm like this?
Because he went to Uzbekistan
with his ex-girlfriend and didn't tell me.
What?
It was wrong of me
not to tell you, Esti,
but I swear,
nothing happened.
And I swear
I didn't plan it, Yehuda.
Sorry, Hai,
but I don't believe you anymore.
Get out of my house before
I do something I'll regret.
And take your old set.
It...
It was a mistake.
We didn't plan it.
Get out of here.
Let us rejoice with this Torah
The Jews will rejoice
The Bukharians will rejoice
Hai-boy will rejoice with this Torah...
You've brought pride
to our community.
It's okay, Auntie, I can do it.
Thank you.
-Hi, how are you? -Fine.
Thank you. Bye.
What are you scheming?
-You'll find out later.
No, I'll be in bed later.
Exactly.
We'll watch "Dumb," we'll cuddle,
but no hands, okay?
I promised your dad.
I thought you'd be happy, Molly.
Isn't this what you wanted?
You wanted privacy,
so I arranged it for us.
Sleeping at my house
is the worst.
Why, Molly?
I'm sorry.
Margo, Margo.
Wait.
-Wait for me over there.
Wait.
I'll just get the projector and the screen
and I'm coming. -Where to? -Bekhor.
Good job.
-Thank you.
All the best.
-Thank you.
I'm coming in one sec.
You're not coming home.
-Why not?
You're not ready to come home yet.
But I let you sing.
-Oh, really? Thank you so much.
Now every time I want to...
-Good job.
You did a great mitzvah.
-Thank you.
Now every time I want to sing
I have to ask for permission?
-See what you're doing?
I try to be nice,
and you're mean!
Bekhor, if we get back together,
and I'm not sure we will,
I'm not going to be your submissive wife
anymore, you understand?
When you weren't here,
I had such a good time without you.
I felt like a butterfly.
I didn't have to take care of
my overgrown, problematic boy. -Margo.
Margo, wait.
That was amazing,
I really enjoyed it.
Do you perform at events?
How much do you charge?
Sure he performs.
-Really? -Sure.
A 80th birthday party.
-Of course!
Are you available on the15th?
-He sure is.
He performs. -Explain to them.
-And he's very fair.
Explain that it's a package deal.
-Great.
You get a photographer
and a performer. -It was wonderful.
On the 15th?
-Yes.
80th birthday, God willing.
-Right.
All women are the same.
-You're right.
He knows what he saying.
anymore like you used to
What a sad day...
She's just singing,
Not cheating, not a slut.
"Fifty Shades of Grey."
Nice, is it a book about graphics?
It's a book about relationships.
With Bukharians, the bride's parents
decide about the venue and the food.
Not exactly...
Keep quiet.
The funniest thing happened, Esti.
What?
Don't tell her
she's here with us.
I have many memories
from Bukhara,
but more than all, the ancient Torah scroll
hidden in my late father's basement.
It's a Torah scroll.
Hai and his brother were arrested
for smuggling in Uzbekistan.
Drugs.
-A Torah scroll.
What do I get out of it?
I'll let you call me Esther.
To your grandmother,
my Heftzigul.
Is Dafi there with you?
Yes.
Dear listeners,
my daughter Melika and I
would like to invite you all
to the Torah welcoming ceremony
since I am the daughter of a Cohen
and the Chatan Torah.
Shame on her.
-I'd like to wish my two grandsons
a safe trip home.
"May the Lord
bless you and keep you.
"May the Lord make his face shine on you
and be gracious to you.
"May the Lord turn his face toward you
and give you peace."
On Thursday at 12:00
at the Bukharian synagogue
in Tel Kabir,
you're all invited.
Say that I'm the Chatan Torah.
How can I say
you'll be the Chatan Torah?
I, Melika Shem-Tov,
invite you all
to the Bukharian synagogue.
I am the Chatan...
What happened?
-Technical problem.
But Mom, you know that
I'm the Chatan of this event.
Why do you think that?
I'm the one who paid
for their plane tickets,
I'm the sponsor.
I'm the Chatan Torah.
All you've been doing since
you stopped working is harass everyone.
I didn't stop working,
I just retired.
Everyone always has to do
as you say.
That's not true.
Go in peace.
She's crazy.
Did they land yet?
How should I know?
When will they get here?
There they are.
Hello!
May your grandfather's memory
be blessed.
The Angel of Death.
They're on their way, aren't they?
Where are they?
Hello.
Hello, Daddy's darling,
Thank God.
Give thanks to the Lord
for He is good.
Where's my Bekhor?
-We missed you. -Daddy's darling.
Welcome home.
-I can't believe it, you got your hair cut.
Let me see.
You're beautiful.
-Enough, Mom.
I was only gone for four days,
not two years in Siberia.
Thank God.
I kept my promise, Grandma.
-We kept our promise.
Yes, this is the Torah scroll.
I recognize it.
Good job for bringing it
from Bukhara.
I can't believe it.
May this Torah scroll protect us all.
Amen.
May the Lord
give us peace and quiet.
Amen.
Well done to you both.
May you live and be well, Grandma.
I'm very proud of you, boys.
How was it?
-It took us ages to find the house.
But we found it thanks to Bekhor
who remembered everything.
Thanks to me, we go into the house.
-Thanks to you, we got locked in the basement.
You coward, you're lucky
Dafi was with you.
Dafi? Damn her.
-No.
She was in Bukhara?
What about Esti?
Is it over?
He learned everything from you,
you jackass!
I didn't tell him to bring her along!
It wasn't me.
The important thing
is that we got the Torah scroll.
It's all because of your scroll.
Whenever we do as you say.
He's with his Ashkenazi girl
and he's back with his temporary girl
and then there's Margo
who goes singing at night.
She does what?
No, nothing.
She sings at night, in the shower.
You deserve it!
-Shut up.
Bekhor, not now.
-Yes, now. -Daddy's darling.
Not now.
-Don't tell me what to do. Shut up.
Hey, not in front of the Torah scroll.
Quiet!
Shut up,
don't tell me what to do.
Good.
Hello?
How come you're answering?
Shouldn't you be singing
at some nightclub?
I already regret answering.
That's what you do when I'm away in Bukhara?
Sing at slutty clubs?
Bekhor, why talk like that?
That's the first thing
you have to say to me?
That's the first thing you do
when I go overseas?
You're so stupid, Bekhor.
This only proves I was right
not to answer before.
I had such a good time
on my own.
Shame on you.
What's become of you?
And I was foolish enough
to miss you.
You have a funny way
of showing it.
I wanted to patch things up
between us,
I thought
I'd take you to Uzbekistan,
show you where
I was born and raised.
They'd hang you
for much less over there!
Bekhor, sweetheart,
calm down.
Tell your mother
you're staying with her.
Hello?
Want me to talk to her?
No!
Want me to talk to Esti?
No!
Don't even think about it, Mom.
I didn't think, I asked.
Sudanese, Eritrean,
I'm not a geography expert.
I actually understand
why they're sensitive about it.
Yeah? Wine?
We're in the middle of work.
-One glass.
I want to celebrate.
Two Chardonnay 2010.
Wouldn't you prefer a bottle?
Sure, bring us a bottle.
-Remind me what we're celebrating?
That you didn't answer
your boyfriend's calls.
Good job. Cheers.
-He deserves it.
Cheers.
Here you go.
It's okay, I'll pour.
Cheers.
We have to look each other in the eyes.
What beautiful eyes.
No problem.
I'm sorry.
-No, no, it's fine.
You challenge me, Esther,
I like it.
Okay.
Come on in.
Come in, my son.
How are you? Welcome home.
-Thank you.
Our groom.
-Thank you.
Don't stand there,
come sit down.
Esti's at work,
she'll be home soon.
Let's have some green tea and talk.
Thank you,
but I'm in a hurry.
I have things to do.
-Come on, just five minutes.
Strolling with you all night...
So, did you have
a good time in Bukhara?
Yes, and we found the Torah scroll
and brought it home.
Torah schmorah.
Did you have some fun too?
No, there was no time.
It was just scroll, scroll, scroll
all day.
Really?
No.
What?
We also...
went to visit
my grandfather's grave, may he rest in peace.
-May he rest in peace.
Let me tell you, Hai,
I know about everything
you did in Bukhara.
You can't hide anything from me.
Hai, you...
Good for you.
You and Bekhor
are such good kids.
Going to Bukhara
for your grandmother.
Good job!
Good job
Thank you.
You're invited to the ceremony,
please come.
I already took the day off.
I'll come with Esti.
-Really?
You have my word.
Cheers.
-Cheers.
Good tea, hot.
Drink up.
-No, I burned my tongue.
Come on.
-I'll wait for it to cool down.
She didn't get an abortion
and gave birth to a black baby.
Now her husband is stuck with her
and a baby that isn't his.
Poor guy.
-Who?
Him. She's a whore.
-Yes, but I feel sorry for the baby too.
God bless him.
Margo, what a surprise.
Melika, why do I feel like
this isn't a surprise at all?
Are you following me?
You know I come here?
Melika, if you're here to talk about Bekhor,
it's not a good time.
No.
-Don't waste your precious time.
I told Victoria I was coming,
right, Victoria?
Yes, yes, yes.
Hair removal, right?
Legs?
What did we say?
-Just to fix my nail polish, that's all.
Oh, okay,
it'll only take a few minutes.
Come, I'll fix it for you.
Are you coming to
the ceremony today? -Of course.
Yes, I know you're coming.
No.
Melika, I'm proud of you.
-What?
That you're not trying
to convince me to come.
No, of course not.
I know how hard it is to get over
someone cheating on you.
You're telling me?
I was talking about married women,
not divorced.
That's why I got divorced.
That's why I'm saying,
if Margo is having a hard time with Bekhor
and she decided to divorce him,
it's her decision,
with all the pain and sorrow I feel
as a mother.
Divorce?
Who said anything about a divorce?
Of course not,
but we're all Bukharians.
Bukharians like to talk
and today everyone will come to the ceremony
and ask where Margo is.
What'll I tell them?
I'm all out of excuses,
I won't know what to say.
They'll start asking questions
and gossiping.
When they come here, they'll
gossip about her too, but it's her decision.
Think it over again.
What about the other hand?
No, I'll do it at home.
It's a waste of money.
You're all invited to
the Torah welcoming ceremony...
Esti?
Why aren't you dressed?
We'll be late.
No, no, I'm not going.
Why not?
I have too much work to do.
My daughter,
what will people say?
What do I care?
The Torah welcoming ceremony
is a big mitzvah.
It'll bring you good luck.
Dad, let it go.
You're all invited to
the Torah welcoming ceremony
at the Bukharian synagogue...
What did he do?
I'll break that idiot's arms and legs.
You're all invited to
the Torah welcoming ceremony
at the Bukharian synagogue...
We've got a problem.
I gave him my word.
It's not nice.
Who did you give your word to?
That clown of yours, that's who.
He invited me personally.
When? What did he say?
He came to invite me,
had some tea, saw some knives and left.
I don't understand.
What did he want?
He wanted you.
Who do you think, me?
If you don't go,
I don't go.
You're all invited to
the Torah welcoming ceremony...
She won't talk...
at the Bukharian synagogue...
Come, Grandma.
You're all invited to
the Torah welcoming ceremony...
Let's go.
Wait. Grandma,
I have something else to give you.
Okay.
But this is only from me.
How did you get this?
He bought it for peanuts, Grandma.
Shut up, you idiot.
It's from the old man.
This old Ashkenazi man
with gray hair, handsome.
He said he knows you
and sent this for you.
Alexander Siminovich?
He's still alive?
Alive and kicking,
he wouldn't stop talking about you,
praising you.
You see?
I don't know what he's talking about, Grandma,
but as long as we brought the Torah.
With such grandsons,
I don't have a care in the world.
May you live and be well, Grandma.
-Wait.
I want to take the Torah in.
Where's your respect
for your older brother?
Come, Grandma.
You coming?
Yeah.
I'm so glad you came.
I'm here
because I want your mother
to stop following me
wherever I go.
-What?
Your mother asked me,
not to mention begged me to come.
I'm only here for her.
She didn't want people talking.
So don't get the wrong idea.
How are you doing, gorgeous?
Now I can't touch you?
-There are...
How are you?
There are people here.
That's how I was brought up.
Okay, no problem.
From now on we'll hug
through telepathy. Watch this.
I'm hugging you.
Sorry we're late,
there was no parking.
It's okay.
First of all, there's an apartment for rent
on the third floor for 3.500.
We'd rather rent to Bukharians,
not outsiders.
Second,
we have a second-hand Subaru for sale,
like brand-new,
1994, red.
I have the keys,
whoever's interested.
And now, a great privilege
has befallen upon us today.
Today we are welcoming a Torah scroll...
Praise the Lord.
We are welcoming into the Bukharian synagogue
an ancient Torah scroll
of the Shem-Tov family
from beautiful Bukhara
that belonged to Grandpa Hai HaCohen,
may the memory of the righteous be a blessing.
Amen.
-Amen. -Thank you.
And now, the first Hakafah
for Abraham our forefather.
Who would like to do the honors?
18 shekels.
-18 shekel bid.
36 shekels.
-36 shekels.
36 shekels.going once,
36 shekels going twice,
sold!
"He who blessed our forefathers
Abraham, Isaac and Jacob
"will bless Abo,
son of Sarah, Shem-Tov.
Who is giving the honor to
his soon-to-be in-law Dov Gurevich.
Dov Gurevich...
I'm 54.
No, your mother's name.
Devorah.
-Dov, son of Devorah,
may you have good health
and a good livelihood. -Amen.
And complete repent.
-Amen.
The second Hakafah.
Ben.
-One Ben.
Two Bens.
-Two Bens going once,
You have to make a bid.
Three Bens.
-Three Bens.
Going once.
-Two Michaels.
Two Michaels from Bekhor.
Going once.
Ten Michaels.
One, two, three, sold!
For you!
More power to you.
-May you live and be well.
He who blessed our forefathers
Abraham, Isaac and Jacob
will bless 54-year-old Dov.
Way to go, he just donated
1.010 shekels to the synagogue
Seriously?
Let us rejoice with this Torah...
You're the man!
I want to thank you
all for coming,
I made this whole thing possible...
-Okay, Mom, okay.
With my boys, these nice boys.
-Okay, Mom.
Hello, everyone.
Welcome.
We can't hear you,
grab a mic.
Hold on.
I want to make a toast
to my wonderful family.
To my mother and father.
To my beloved brother.
To Molly, my beautiful little girl.
And most important, to Margo,
my wonderful, beautiful wife.
And to our new brother Guy.
I'm very happy for you,
good luck to you both.
You're getting
an unpolished diamond.
You need to polish her
the way you want,
so she'll fit you like a glove.
As the Good Book says,
a woman should be
"a helper suitable for him."
"A helper suitable for him,"
right?
Bekhor, Daddy's darling...
Cheers, Dad. -Enough.
-Isn't that what it says, rabbi?
But that's what it says.
Is that what it says? -Yes.
That's what the verse says.
-Sit, Bekhor.
Molly's the best.
Nowadays, women...
women are pieces of shit.
-Bekhor.
Cheers.
-Cheers. -Cheers.
Guy...
-Enough.
Just so you know
happiness isn't worth anything
if your wife are children
aren't by your side.
Remember that.
-Cheers. -For all eternity.
Cheers.
-Cheers. -Cheers.
Appreciate your youth, your wife,
your family. Cheers.
-Cheers.
I made you osh palov.
-Really?
Abo made it.
-Wow. -Yes.
Our men cook.
-Really?
Once a year.
Where were we?
I was just saying
what a lovely family this is.
I'm sure, thank you.
-Thank you, thank you.
You really have an amazing tradition.
That's why I think
everything at the wedding
should be Bukharian style.
-Of course.
Especially the custom of the groom's
parents deciding everything about the wedding.
I'm gonna kill you.
This is only
for a Torah welcoming ceremony.
Wait till you see the wedding.
As far as the food and hospitality goes,
there's no doubt about it.
But what about the venue, the dress,
the invitations? I have to decide something too.
We'll let you decide.
-I'll let myself.
I'll help you.
-I'll help myself.
I know a lot.
-I know more.
But I...
-Don't worry.
Ladies and gentlemen,
we have gathered today
in the beautiful synagogue of Tel Kabir
to welcome
my late father's Torah scroll.
What is she saying?
-Mr. Hai Ishan HaCohen,
son of Heftzibah.
I don't understand.
-I'll translate later.
Today I'm very pleased
with my grandsons,
this Torah scroll which was in Bukhara was
rescued and brought home thanks to them.
Many thanks.
I only said one word
while they were eating soup,
they didn't even wait to eat
the beets that were in the soup,
and they hurried off
to do as I wished,
unlike kids today who don't like
when old people talk too much.
If you talk too much,
they can't listen for more than a minute
and wave you off.
Grandma, all we did was
have a good time and come home.
We noticed that all the entrance gates
in the Jewish Quarter
are very low.
I asked someone,
"Dear brother,
why are all the entrance gates so low?"
What did the genius say?
"Dear brother, we have respect,
"when we go through the gate,
we say, 'Peace be upon you.'"
I said, "Okay.
"Then why are the entrances
to the bathroom so low?
"Do you expect me to say to someone
in the bathroom, 'Peace be upon you.'?"
Grandma, enough talking.
Why don't you sing us a song?
I can't sing anymore. Instead I'd like
to ask Margo to sing us a song.
Margo! Margo! Margo!
Margo! Margo! Margo!
Praise the Lord, O Jerusalem
Praise your God, O Zion
Praise the Lord, O Jerusalem...
You ex daughter-in-law sings so well.
Why didn't Esther come?
Praise your God, O Zion
Praise your God, O Zion
When I was in Bukhara,
I got pulled over by a policeman.
He sees I'm a tourist
and thinks,
"I'm gonna get me some dollars."
But he didn't realize he caught
a Bukharian who's more Bukharian than him.
He asks,
"Do you have your seat belt on?"
I say, yes.
"License and registration?"
"Yes, I have everything."
He doesn't know what to do,
he wants to get some money out of me,
so he asks,
"Did you come from Israel?"
"Yes, yes."
"Do you have a radio in your car?"
"Yes."
"Do you have
an Avraham Tolmasov CD?"
"Yes, yes."
"Then why don't you play
something happy and upbeat?"
I didn't understand why.
but I took the CD
and played a happy song.
The guy starts dancing
in the middle of the street.
People start honking,
but he doesn't care, he's dancing away.
I was embarrassed.
I say to him,
"Brother, what are you doing?"
What does the imbecile say to me?
"Dear brother,
I'll dance a little
"and you stick dollar bills on me."
What did he say?
The moment
we've all been waiting for,
the film that Bekhor and I, Abo Photo,
made especially for you,
for our dear grandmother,
and of course for our mother.
The film about the lost scroll
in Bukhara. Enjoy.
Welcome to beautiful Bukhara.
Gorgeous Bukhara.
I was born in Bukhara
and Hai was born in Israel,
but we were raised on
Grandma's stories, the family's stories,
about beautiful Bukhara.
Esti didn't show up,
I have to go see what's going on.
What are you, a girl?
Don't chase after her.
Women don't like chumps.
Be a man.
If she doesn't want to come,
she can go to hell.
I'm going.
Can you manage without me?
With a woman,
you have to show strength from the beginning.
If you start begging now,
she'll be on your case for the rest of your life.
Yeah, 'cause with Margo
things are going great.
It's my mistake,
that I wasn't stronger with her,
but you should learn
from the mistakes of others.
Hai, Hai, Hai.
The Lyabi Hauz,
"the sea of Bukhara."
-Chump.
It's also the swimming pool of Bukhara,
the laundromat of Bukhara
and the well of Bukhara.
Here the mighty have fallen.
This is a memorial...
Hey, Abo. how are you?
-Hey, Guy.
Nice film.
So moving.
Abo, can I talk to you
for a minute?
Just one minute, that's all.
I was thinking, Abo,
because Molly and I are engaged,
and thought it might be okay...
-Sshh.
Only if it's okay with you.
I just thought that...
Spit it out.
To spend the night at your house tonight?
-What?
Abo, I promise you,
nothing will happen
and no one will see me go in.
I just...
I want to sleep beside
my future wife for one night.
We both need that.
You'll sleep on the floor.
Without a mattress.
Hello, how are you?
-I'll go get her, groom.
Esti, Esti, come here.
He came in the middle
of the ceremony to see you.
Hey.
I brought you something
from Uzbekistan.
What's the problem?
What's wrong?
Nothing.
Why are you acting like this?
It's not like you. Look.
It's gold,
it's an antique, huh?
You want to know
why I'm like this?
Because he went to Uzbekistan
with his ex-girlfriend and didn't tell me.
What?
It was wrong of me
not to tell you, Esti,
but I swear,
nothing happened.
And I swear
I didn't plan it, Yehuda.
Sorry, Hai,
but I don't believe you anymore.
Get out of my house before
I do something I'll regret.
And take your old set.
It...
It was a mistake.
We didn't plan it.
Get out of here.
Let us rejoice with this Torah
The Jews will rejoice
The Bukharians will rejoice
Hai-boy will rejoice with this Torah...
You've brought pride
to our community.
It's okay, Auntie, I can do it.
Thank you.
-Hi, how are you? -Fine.
Thank you. Bye.
What are you scheming?
-You'll find out later.
No, I'll be in bed later.
Exactly.
We'll watch "Dumb," we'll cuddle,
but no hands, okay?
I promised your dad.
I thought you'd be happy, Molly.
Isn't this what you wanted?
You wanted privacy,
so I arranged it for us.
Sleeping at my house
is the worst.
Why, Molly?
I'm sorry.
Margo, Margo.
Wait.
-Wait for me over there.
Wait.
I'll just get the projector and the screen
and I'm coming. -Where to? -Bekhor.
Good job.
-Thank you.
All the best.
-Thank you.
I'm coming in one sec.
You're not coming home.
-Why not?
You're not ready to come home yet.
But I let you sing.
-Oh, really? Thank you so much.
Now every time I want to...
-Good job.
You did a great mitzvah.
-Thank you.
Now every time I want to sing
I have to ask for permission?
-See what you're doing?
I try to be nice,
and you're mean!
Bekhor, if we get back together,
and I'm not sure we will,
I'm not going to be your submissive wife
anymore, you understand?
When you weren't here,
I had such a good time without you.
I felt like a butterfly.
I didn't have to take care of
my overgrown, problematic boy. -Margo.
Margo, wait.
That was amazing,
I really enjoyed it.
Do you perform at events?
How much do you charge?
Sure he performs.
-Really? -Sure.
A 80th birthday party.
-Of course!
Are you available on the15th?
-He sure is.
He performs. -Explain to them.
-And he's very fair.
Explain that it's a package deal.
-Great.
You get a photographer
and a performer. -It was wonderful.
On the 15th?
-Yes.
80th birthday, God willing.
-Right.
All women are the same.
-You're right.
He knows what he saying.