Welcome Back, Kotter (1975–1979): Season 4, Episode 7 - Barbarino's Boo-Boo - full transcript

JULIE, HOLD ALL MY CALLS,
I WANT TO EAT IN PEACE.

MR. WOODMAN, YOU SHOULD'VE
LET ME PICK UP THAT SANDWICH,

YOU SHOULDN'T BE
WALKING ON YOUR FOOT.

JULIE, I'VE BEEN IN THIS
SCHOOL A LONG TIME.

I'VE LEARNED TO LIVE WITH PAIN.

IF YOU WANTED PAIN,
YOU SHOULD'VE EATEN

IN THE CAFETERIA.

WHY PUNISH MY STOMACH
JUST BECAUSE MY BUNION

IS KILLING ME?

BESIDES, I LOVE THESE
SUBMARINE SANDWICHES.

THEY GIVE YOU A TWO-POUND
SANDWICH FOR 89 CENTS.



ALL THAT FOR 89 CENTS.

WELL, IT'S A DAY OLD.

WELL, DON'T WORRY, MR. WOODMAN,

WHEN YOU CHECK INTO
THE HOSPITAL TOMORROW,

YOU'LL GET GREAT
FOOD AND IT'LL BE FREE.

YEAH, BUT THE BED'S
COSTING ME $90 A DAY.

MAYBE THEY'LL GIVE
YOU DAY-OLD SHEETS.

YOU'RE A REGULAR
ANNIE NIGHTINGALE.

- HI, MRS. KOTTER.
- HI, GUYS.

MRS. KOTTER, YOU KNOW,
LIKE, WE ALL KNOW THAT

MR. WOODMAN IS GOING INTO
THE HOSPITAL TOMORROW, RIGHT?

SO WE ALL CHIPPED IN AND
WE BOUGHT HIM A PRESENT.

AW, THAT WAS REAL
SWEET OF YOU GUYS.

AH, IT'S THE LEAST
WE COULD DO FOR HIM.



YEAH, AND THAT'S WHAT
WE'RE LOOKING FOR.

THE LEAST WE COULD DO FOR HIM.

SO WE WAS WONDERING IF
YOU COULD WRAP IT UP FOR US.

MAYBE SOMETHING
IN BLUE AND WHITE.

YOU KNOW, TO MATCH HIS LEGS.

I DON'T HAVE ANYTHING
HERE TO WRAP IT UP WITH,

BUT I'LL IMPROVISE.

WHY DON'T YOU JUST LEAVE IT HERE

AND PICK IT UP AT
WILL CALL LATER?

WHAT'D YOU GET HIM?

SOMETHING SPECIAL
HERE, ARNOLD HORSHACK

PICKED IT OUT.

THERE YOU ARE, HUH?

AND THEY'RE VERY
PRACTICAL, TOO, MRS. KOTTER.

MINE WEAR LIKE IRON.

WELL, ARNOLD,
THEY ARE BEAUTIFUL,

BUT I DON'T THINK MR. WOODMAN'S

GONNA BE ABLE TO
WEAR 'EM, YOU SEE,

HIS FOOT WILL BE BANDAGED
AFTER THE OPERATION.

AH, MRS. KOTTER, THERE
AIN'T GONNA BE NO PROBLEM.

TAKE CARE OF THAT IN A JIFFY.

HEY, GUYS.

LOOK AT THIS HERE.

I GOT MR. WOODMAN
A GET-WELL CARD.

AND I GOT ALL HIS
FRIENDS TO SIGN IT, LOOK.

I BET THAT DIDN'T TAKE LONG.

YES, IT DID.

IT TOOK ME A LONG
TIME TO GET OVER

TO THE OTHER SIDE OF SCHOOL
WHERE THEY BOTH WORK.

VINCENT, THIS IS
NOT A GET-WELL CARD.

THIS IS AN EASTER CARD.

THEY WAS OUT OF GET-WELL CARDS.

BESIDES, I LIKE
THE LITTLE BUNNY.

YOU KNOW, THAT PROBABLY
IS THE RIGHT CARD.

'CAUSE BY THE TIME HE GET
OUT OF VINNIE'S HOSPITAL,

IT WILL BE EASTER.

YOU KNOW, VINNIE, I HOPE
YOU'RE GONNA KEEP AN EYE

ON MR. WOODMAN WHILE
HE'S IN THE HOSPITAL.

OH, AT LEAST I AIN'T GONNA
DO WHAT I DID LAST WEEK.

NURSE BONNIE, SHE ASKED
ME TO SHAVE THIS GUY

FOR ABDOMINAL SURGERY.

MAYBE SHE WANTED HIM TO
LOOK NICE FOR THE OPERATION.

NO, ARNOLD, THEY SHAVE PEOPLE

WHERE THEY'RE
GOING TO OPERATE ON.

DIDN'T KNOW WHERE
THE ABDOMINAL WAS.

SO I SHAVED HIS WHOLE BODY.

I BET HE WAS SORE.

WELL, HE WASN'T
SORE TILL AFTER I PUT

THE AFTERSHAVE LOTION.

OH, COME ON, VINNIE.

VINNIE, IF YOU HAD A QUESTION,

YOU JUST SHOULD'VE
ASKED NURSE BONNIE.

NO, I WOULDN'T ASK
HER A QUESTION,

SHE GIVES ME A
LECTURE, NOT AN ANSWER.

BUT HOW ARE YOU
GONNA LEARN ANYTHING

IF YOU DON'T ASK?

YEAH, WELL, SHE SPECIALIZE
IN MAKING ME FEEL STUPID.

YOU MEAN YOU NEED A
SPECIALIST FOR THAT?

HEY, MR. WOODMAN, DON'T
YOU WORRY ABOUT NOTHING,

'CAUSE TOMORROW, WE'RE
GONNA TAKE GOOD CARE OF YOU

IN THE HOSPITAL AND GET
YOU THE BEST PEDIATRICIAN.

THAT'S A BABY DOCTOR, VINNIE.

NO, THAT'S A FULL-GROWN MAN.

JULIE, I'M WORRIED.

I DON'T FEEL SAFE IN
THE SAME HOSPITAL

WITH BARBARINO.

OH, SHAME ON YOU, MR. WOODMAN.

AND AFTER THE WONDERFUL
PRESENT THEY BOUGHT YOU.

SHOW HIM, JUAN.

I ALREADY GOT A PAIR LIKE THAT.

THEY WEAR LIKE IRON.



♪ WELCOME BACK ♪

♪ YOUR DREAMS WERE
YOUR TICKET OUT ♪

♪ WELCOME BACK ♪

♪ TO THAT SAME OLD PLACE
THAT YOU LAUGHED ABOUT ♪

♪ WELL THE NAMES
HAVE ALL CHANGED

SINCE YOU HUNG AROUND ♪

♪ BUT THOSE DREAMS HAVE REMAINED

AND THEY'VE TURNED AROUND ♪

♪ WHO'D HAVE THOUGHT
THEY'D LEAD YA ♪

♪ WHO'D HAVE THOUGHT
THEY'D LEAD YA ♪

♪ BACK HERE WHERE WE NEED YA ♪

♪ BACK HERE WHERE WE NEED YA ♪

♪ YEAH, WE TEASE HIM A LOT

'CAUSE WE GOT HIM ON THE SPOT ♪

♪ WELCOME BACK ♪

♪ WELCOME BACK, WELCOME
BACK, WELCOME BACK ♪

♪ WELCOME BACK, WELCOME BACK ♪

♪ YEAH, WE TEASE HIM A LOT

'CAUSE WE GOT HIM ON THE SPOT ♪

♪ WELCOME BACK ♪

♪ WELCOME BACK, WELCOME
BACK, WELCOME BACK ♪

♪ WELCOME BACK, WELCOME
BACK, WELCOME BACK ♪♪

THERE WE ARE.

NOW, SEE, SURGERY
WARD'S NOT BAD,

WAS IT, MR. WOODMAN?

YOU KNOW WHAT, WHEN YOU WAKE
UP AND YOU SEE ME STANDING HERE,

YOU'RE GONNA THINK THAT I WAS
THE ONE WHO DID THE OPERATION.

YOU'RE GONNA HAVE A NEW RESPECT

FOR VINNIE BARBARINO,
THAT'S FOR SURE.

NEW RESPECT FOR
VINNIE BARBARINO.

THIS MUST BE THAT POWER
OF SUGGESTION THING.

VINNIE BARBARINO IS
A STRAIGHT-A STUDENT.

VINNIE BARBARINO IS
A STRAIGHT-A STUDENT.

HEY, IT'S WORKING.

VINNIE BARBARINO'S A
STRAIGHT-A STUDENT.

VINNIE BARBARINO'S A
STRAIGHT-A STUDENT.

BARBARINO, SNAP IT
UP, ONLY THE PATIENTS

ARE ALLOWED TO SLEEP HERE.

- YES, MA'AM.
- NOW PICK UP THESE SIDE RAILS.

YOU WANT HIM TO FALL OFF?

LOOK AT YOU. YOU ARE A
DISGRACE TO COUNTY GENERAL.

IF YOU'RE GONNA BE
WORKING ON MY FLOOR,

YOU'RE GONNA LOOK
LIKE AN ORDERLY.

NOW BUTTON THAT SHIRT.

TIE YOUR SHOELACES.

FIX YOUR COLLAR.

PULL UP YOUR SOCKS.

AND FIX THAT HAIR.

I'M SO CONFUSED!

NOW LISTEN TO ME
AND LISTEN CAREFULLY.

THIS IS YOUR PATIENT'S CHART.

DO NOT, I REPEAT,
DO NOT LOSE IT.

OKAY, FINE.

NOW TAKE THE PATIENT
BACK TO HIS ROOM.

- RIGHT.
- AND DON'T FORGET THE CHART!

HANG IT ON YOUR GURNEY.

HANG IT ON YOUR GURNEY.

WHAT?

I SAID I'M GOING ON A JOURNEY.

SHE IS SUCH A CLAM, MR. WOODMAN.

I'M NOT A DOCTOR.

NOT A DOCTOR, JUST AN ORDERLY.

LISTEN, WILL YOU CALM
DOWN, THIS GUY SUFFERED

FROM A BUNIONOCTOMY.

JUST RELAX, RELAX,
COME ON, SIT DOWN.

SHH!

NOW.

DO YOU SPEAK ENGLISH?

NO.

DO YOU SPEAK SPANISH?

NO.

DO YOU SPEAK ITALIAN?

NO.

ME NEITHER.

WHAT DOES IT SOUND LIKE?

HOW MANY WORDS?

OH, WEIGHT WATCHERS, THAT'S
WHAT YOU'RE LOOKING FOR!

CAN SOLVE THE
PROBLEMS OF THE WORLD

WITH GOOD COMMUNICATION.

WHERE'S THE GURNEY?

DID YOU SEE MY GURNEY?

DID YOU TAKE MY GURNEY?

YOU DIDN'T?

HOW ABOUT YOU, DID
YOU... I'M IN TROUBLE...

HEY, VINNIE!

VINNIE, WHAT'S TROUBLING
YOU, YOU LOOK LIKE

YOU JUST SAW A GHOST!

I THINK I JUST MADE A GHOST.

I LOST MR. WOODMAN'S BODY.

ARE YOU SURE HE DIDN'T
JUST GO FOR A WALK

UNDER HIS BED?

NO, I'M TELLING YA,
HIS BODY WAS HERE

AND THEN I LOST IT
AND I'M TELLING YA,

IF NURSE BONNIE FINDS
OUT, I'M GONNA LOSE MY JOB.

YEAH, MAN, YOU MIGHT ALSO
GET A TICKET FOR LITTERING.

LET THIS BE A LESSON
TO YOU, VINCENT.

YOU SHOULD ALWAYS
PUT THINGS AWAY

WHEN YOU'RE THROUGH WITH THEM.

I'M IN BIG TROUBLE.

COME ON, COME ON, VINNIE, LOOK,

YOU FRIENDS ARE HERE, HUH?

WE'LL HELP YOU
LOCATE MR. WOODMAN.

LOOK, DO YOU REALLY
WANT TO HELP ME?

SURE!

DON'T HELP.

I GOT ENOUGH TROUBLE AS IT IS.

I'M THE ONE WHO LOST
HIM, I'M GONNA FIND HIM.

OKAY, MAN, WE GOT YOU COVERED.

DO WHAT YOU GOTTA DO.

THINK HE'S RIGHT?

OF COURSE HE'S
RIGHT, THIS IS ONLY

A FIVE-STORY HOSPITAL.

SURE, IT'S ONLY GOT 700 ROOMS,

THAT'S NO PROBLEM.

THE MOST IT WILL TAKE HIM,
WHAT, A COUPLE OF WEEKS?

ALL RIGHT, WHERE DO WE
START LOOKING, WHAT'S THE PLAN?

OKAY, I GOT AN IDEA,
I GOT AN IDEA, I KNOW.

LOST AND FOUND.

THAT'S GREAT, THAT'S A GOOD
IDEA, GO THERE, JUST BE COOL,

AND ASK 'EM IF THEY
FOUND SOMETHING SHORT,

GRAY, AND WRINKLED.

THAT'LL BE GOOD.

AND IF THEY DON'T HAVE WOODMAN,

I GET DUMBO.

ARNOLD, WHAT DO YOU
THINK HE LOOKED LIKE

WHEN HE CAME DOWN
FROM THE OPERATING ROOM?

HE WAS LOOKING THE
WAY HE ALWAYS LOOKS.

WE BETTER CHECK THE MORGUE.

OH, I CAN'T, LITTLE JUAN,
I FAINT AT THE SIGHT

OF TILE.

THEN I'LL CHECK THE
MORGUE, AND YOU GO OVER

TO THE COFFEE SHOP, ALL RIGHT?

NOW WOODMAN'S PROBABLY
GONNA BE SITTING AT THE TABLE

WITH NO TIP.

I'LL GO CHECK THE
NURSES' QUARTERS.

HE'S NOT GONNA BE THERE,
YOU'RE WASTING YOUR TIME!

I'LL LET THE NURSES
BE THE JUDGE OF THAT.

MR. WOODMAN?

MR. WOODMAN.

WOODMAN, IS THAT YOU?

AHH!

WELL, HE'S NOT IN THERE.

♪ BRING BACK... ♪

BARBARINO, I'VE BEEN
LOOKING FOR YOU.

I HAVE WORK FOR YOU TO DO.

I GOT SOMETHING MORE
IMPORTANT TO DO RIGHT NOW.

I DOUBT THAT YOU HAVE
ANYTHING IMPORTANT TO DO.

NOW GO IN THERE AND TAKE
MR. SAUNDERS DOWN TO X-RAY.

BUT NURSE BONNIE, I
REALLY... RIGHT NOW.

- ARE YOU MR. SAUNDERS?
- YEAH.

GOOD, WE GOTTA GO DOWN TO X-RAY

AND I GOTTA DO IT QUICK, TOO,

'CAUSE I JUST LOST A PATIENT.

I'M SORRY TO HEAR THAT.

I DIDN'T LOSE HIM THAT
WAY, I MISPLACED HIM.

MAYBE I CAN WALK TO X-RAY.

- NO, YOU CAN'T WALK TO X-RAY.
- WHY?

I GOTTA HELP YOU,
NURSE BONNIE SAID SO.

NOW JUST STAY THERE.

ALL RIGHT, NOW GET IN.

NO, I SAID GET IN
THE WHEELCHAIR.

DID THIS COME WITH INSTRUCTIONS?

HOW DO I KNOW?

HEY, I DID IT, ALL RIGHT.

FORGOT TO GET IN.

WHO ARE YOU?

HEY, MR. WOODMAN, WE'VE
BEEN LOOKING ALL OVER FOR YOU,

OH, MAN, I'M SO
HAPPY WE FOUND YOU,

WHERE YOU BEEN, WE COULDN'T
FIND YOU FOR THE LONGEST...

EXCUSE ME, UM, I DIDN'T KNOW

THAT YOU HAD COMPANY.

DR. MORGAN REPORT TO
SURGERY, DR. MORGAN.

DR. THERBER, REPORT TO
THE EMERGENCY WARD, DOC...

MR. WOODMAN.

COME OUT, COME OUT,
WHEREVER YOU ARE.

ALL RIGHT, HERE WE
ARE, OFF TO X-RAY WE GO.

AH!

OW!

HOW'D THEY GET YOU IN HERE?

I WAS UNCONSCIOUS
WHEN THEY BROUGHT ME IN.

YEAH, BUT THAT DON'T
MAKE YOU SMALLER.

ALL RIGHT, WE'RE GONNA HAVE
TO DO A LITTLE MEASURING HERE.

IMPOSSIBLE, HAVE
TO DO IT IN TWO TRIPS.

'SCUSE ME, GENTLEMEN,
I'M LOOKING FOR

ONE OF YOUR PATIENTS.

RATHER SHORT GUY WITH GRAY HAIR?

ONE OF YOUR PATIENTS IS LOST.

YOU SEWED HIS FEET ON BACKWARDS.

AND WE GOTTA FIND HIM
BEFORE HE TRIES TO SIT DOWN.

AH, FORGET IT.

DAVE'S SPORTING GOODS
IS HAVING A REAL BIG SALE

ON GOLF BALLS!

OH, MR. SAUNDERS, I DIDN'T
KNOW YOU COULD DANCE SO GOOD.

ALL RIGHT.

ALL RIGHT, NOW WE'RE REALLY
ON OUR WAY, AREN'T WE?

DON'T KNOW IF I HAVE
A WHOLE NOSE AT ALL.

AS A MATTER OF FACT,
THIS ONE'S STRAIGHT.

AND THAT BIG LUMP I HAD?

WELL, YOU SEE WHEN I GET HOME.

I'LL BE HOME IN
ABOUT 30 MINUTES.

I'M GONNA GET DRESSED RIGHT NOW.

BYE-BYE.

OW!

HI, DID YOU SEE A LITTLE
GUY WITH GRAY HAIR?

HEY, HEY.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO CRY ABOUT IT.

IT'S NOT YOUR PROBLEM.

COME ON, CHEER UP.

VINNIE?

- VINNIE.
- HI, VINNIE.

HEY, THE KOTTERS,
THEY CAME TO VISIT ME,

HOW NICE.

AND FLOWERS, YOU BROUGHT
ME FLOWERS. THANK YOU.

NO, NO, VINNIE, WE HAD
SOME CHOCOLATE FOR YOU,

BUT WE ATE IT ON
THE WAY OVER HERE.

THE FLOWERS ARE FOR MR. WOODMAN,

WE'D LIKE TO SEE HIM, OKAY?

BOY, SO WOULD I.

SO, WHERE'S THE OLD BUNION WARD?

WELL, YOU DON'T WANT TO
LOOK AT THE BUNION WARD,

WHY DON'T I JUST
GIVE YOU A LITTLE TOUR

OF THE HOSPITAL INSTEAD, OKAY?

IT'S A GREAT HOSPITAL.

YOU KNOW, MRS.
KOTTER, THEY GOT BABIES,

AND I KNOW YOU LIKE BABIES.

MAYBE YOU'D LIKE
TO PICK ONE OUT.

TWO'S ENOUGH, THANKS, VINNIE.

YEAH, BESIDES, WE'D
RATHER MAKE OUR OWN.

HONEY, WHY DON'T YOU GO
OVER TO THE NURSE'S DESK.

I'M SURE WE NEED
PASSES OR SOMETHING.

- RIGHT.
- NO!

DON'T GO TO HER.

SHE'S OLD PENICILLIN PUSS.

YOU KNOW WHAT? THEY USE
HER FACE TO SCARE GERMS

OUT OF PEOPLE.

VINNIE, VINNIE, VINNIE.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

OH, MAN, I WAS JUST TRYING TO...

OH, WOW, MR. KOTTER
AND MRS. KOTTER.

HOW YOU DOING?

OH, WOW, THAT'S
REALLY NICE OF YOU GUYS.

TO GET ME FLOWERS,
JUST SO THOUGHTFUL.

RELAX, FREDDIE, WE'VE ALREADY
DONE THE FLOWER ROUTINE.

IF YOU GUYS WILL EXCUSE US,
WE'RE HERE TO SEE MR. WOODMAN.

MR. KOTTER, Y'ALL SURE
YOU WANT TO DO THAT?

I MEAN, YOU GOT YOUNG
CHILDREN AT HOME AND ALL.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING
ABOUT, FREDDIE?

I'M TALKING EPIDEMICS.

I'M TALKING CONTAGIOUSNESS.

I'M TALKING DISEASE...
WAIT A MINUTE!

MR. WOODMAN CAME HERE
TO HAVE A BUNION REMOVED.

I KNOW. AT ONE TIME IN
THE MEDICAL PROFESSION,

THEY DIDN'T BELIEVE
THAT A BUNION EPIDEMIC

WAS POSSIBLE.

ALL RIGHT, THAT'S IT.

NOW SOMETHING SMELLS AROUND HERE

AND IT'S NOT THE DISINFECTANT.

I GET THE DISTINCT IMPRESSION
YOU GUYS ARE TRYING

TO GET RID OF US.

SO DO I, YOU KNOW, I
WOULDN'T BE AT ALL SURPRISED

TO SEE JUAN EPSTEIN RUN
IN HERE WITH SOME SORT OF

HALF-BAKED STORY
ABOUT HOW... HEY, GUYS.

I KNOW THIS IS GONNA SOUND
LIKE A HALF-BAKED STORY...

OH, MR. AND MRS.
KOTTER, NICE TO SEE YOU,

NICE TO SEE YOU.

VINNIE, YOU KNOW
THAT OLD BAG OF BONES

WE WAS TALKING ABOUT?

WELL, IT AIN'T IN COLD STORAGE.

OH, MR. AND MRS. KOTTER.

- HI, BEAU.
- LOVELY TO SEE YOU.

BEAU, UM, DID YOU FIND
WHAT YOU WERE SUPPOSED

TO BE LOOKING FOR?

I CERTAINLY DID.

BUT I DIDN'T FIND WHAT
VINNIE WAS LOOKING FOR.

ALL RIGHT, ENOUGH.

- I WANT S...
- VINNIE, VINNIE!

I COULDN'T FIND
MR. WOODMAN ANYWHERE.

BUT I FOUND OUT WHERE
BABIES COME FROM.

YOU COULDN'T FIND MR. WOODMAN?

I WANT YOU TO START
TALKING AND I WANT TO HEAR

SOME ANSWERS, OKAY?

ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, LOOK.

I WAS WHEELING MR. WOODMAN
BACK FROM SURGERY.

AND I TURNED AROUND,
HE DISAPPEARED.

POOR MR. WOODMAN.

A BRAVE AND COURAGEOUS
PRINCIPAL, THAT MAN.

THAT MAN WAS A CREDIT
TO CORPORAL PUNISHMENT...

CENSORSHIP, RING
AROUND THE COLLAR.

WILL YOU COOL IT, ARNOLD?

GO AHEAD, VINNIE,
FINISH THE STORY.

WELL, THIS IS THE
FINISH OF THE STORY,

I GOT HIS CHART AND
I DON'T GOT HIS BODY

AND I'M AFRAID
ANYONE WHO FINDS HIM

AIN'T GONNA KNOW WHO HE IS.

YOU MEAN THAT CHART'S
THE ONLY THING LEFT

OF MICHAEL WOODMAN?

YEAH.

LET ME SEE THAT.

WELL, IT CERTAINLY LOOKS RIGHT.

IT'S SHORT, AND IT'S SQUARE.

DON'T HAVE MUCH
OF A PERSONALITY.

SURE, SURE, LOOK,
WE JUST DRESS IT UP

IN ONE OF HIS THREE-PIECE
POLYESTER SUITS,

PROP IT UP BEHIND HIS DESK,

NOBODY'S GONNA BE THE WISER.

NOW COME ON.

VINNIE, YOU KNOW
WHAT YOU GOTTA DO.

I MEAN, YOU HAVE LOST A PERSON.

A HUMAN BEING.

WHAT A LOVELY TRIBUTE.

I NEVER THOUGHT OF
MR. WOODMAN LIKE THAT BEFORE.

A HUMAN BEING.

YOU MEAN I GOTTA
TELL THE HOSPITAL, HUH?

YES.

YOU MEAN I GOTTA TELL
NURSE BONNIE, HUH?

I MEAN, I COME BACK ALIVE.

VINNIE, YOU KNOW
WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO.

NOW JUST GO AHEAD AND DO IT.

ALL RIGHT.

NURSE BONNIE...

NOT NOW, BARBARINO,
I'M FIGURING OUT

MY OVERTIME.

YEAH, BUT IT'S REAL IMPORTANT,
SOMETHING YOU GOTTA KNOW.

WHY?

WHAT, WHAT? WHAT?

YOUR HAT'S ON CROOKED.

YOU ARE GETTING ON
MY NERVES, BARBARINO.

THANK YOU.

VINNIE, VINNIE, VINNIE.

NO, NOT NOW, BOB,
I DON'T GOT TIME

FOR YOUR TYPE.

NO, BUT VINNIE,
I'M IN BIG TROUBLE.

YOU'RE THE ONLY
ONE I CAN TURN TO.

- WHAT'S THE MATTER?
- I GOT THIS PATIENT.

I FOUND HIM IN THE BASEMENT.

YOU FOUND THE PATIENT
IN THE BASEMENT?

YEAH, BUT I CAN'T
FIND HIS CHART,

I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO
DO WITH HIM, SO I'VE BEEN

ROLLING HIM ALL
AROUND THE HOSPITAL.

SO FAR, SO FAR, I'VE
BEEN IN THE LINEN CLOSET,

THE MATERNITY WARD,
THE PSYCHIATRIC WARD,

THE CAFETERIA... I'M
RUNNING OUT OF PLACES.

OKAY, DID THIS GUY
HAVE GRAY HAIR?

- DYED.
- HE DIED?

NO, DYED GRAY HAIR!

OKAY, HOW TALL WAS
HE, ABOUT THIS TALL?

I DON'T KNOW, HE'S
ALWAYS LYING DOWN.

OKAY, THIS TALL?

YEAH, THAT'S HIM,
WHAT AM I GONNA DO?

HE'S JUST STARTING TO WAKE UP.

IF HE STARTS TO TALK, I'M
GONNA LOSE MY JOB FOR SURE.

OKAY, BOB, YOU'VE DONE THE
RIGHT THING BY COMING TO ME.

THIS IS WHAT WE DO, WE
GOTTA HELP EACH OTHER,

THAT'S HOW YOU LEARN.

ASK.

OKAY, NOW YOU GO OFF AND
DO WHAT YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO DO

AND I'LL TAKE CARE OF THIS GUY.

JUST GET HIM TO ME.

THANKS, VINNIE, I KNOW
I COULD COUNT ON YOU.

I'LL GET HIM.

VINNIE, I HEARD WHAT
YOU TOLD THAT GUY.

IT'S GOOD ADVICE, ISN'T IT?

YEAH, IT IS GOOD ADVICE.

OH.

HEY. HEY, WHERE YOU GOING?

YOU CAN'T LEAVE ME HERE.

I'M A SICK MAN.

OH, BARBARINO.

OH, AM I GLAD TO SEE YOU.

I WAS HAVING A TERRIBLE DREAM.

IT WAS LIKE I WAS A MAN
WITHOUT A COUNTRY.

ROLLING FROM PLACE TO PLACE.

AND THEN THAT OTHER
ORDERLY JUST LEFT ME HERE.

I DON'T THINK HE
KNOWS WHAT HE'S DOING.

OKAY, GIVE HIM
AIR, GIVE HIM AIR,

THIS GUY JUST LOST A BUNION.

NOW LOOK, VINNIE
BARBARINO, YOUR ORDERLY,

IS GONNA TAKE GOOD CARE OF YOU,

JUST LIKE I PROMISED YOU.

I HAVE A NEW RESPECT
FOR YOU, VINNIE BARBARINO.

VINNIE BARBARINO IS
A STRAIGHT-A STUDENT.

WHY DID I SAY THAT?

DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT, WHEN
YOU'RE RIGHT, YOU'RE RIGHT.

HEY, LOOK AT HIM, HE'S
GETTING THE OLD COLOR

BACK IN HIS FACE.

GRAY.

HEY, MR. WOODMAN.

IT'S REALLY GOOD TO SEE
YOU BACK ON YOUR FEET.

HE AIN'T ON HIS FEET.

I KNOW, BUT WITH HIM, IT'S
HARD TO TELL THE DIFFERENCE.

DON'T PAY ATTENTION
TO THESE GUYS.

HEY, MR. WOODMAN, DID I EVER
TELL YOU ABOUT MY UNCLE...

NOT NOW, NOT NOW, KOTTER.

I FEEL ROTTEN ENOUGH,
MY FOOT HURTS,

I HATE MY DOCTOR,
I HATE THE ROOM,

I HATE THE FOOD, I
HATE THIS HOSPITAL!

BARBARINO.

I WANT THAT PATIENT
BACK IN HIS ROOM.

AND I WANT ALL THESE
PEOPLE OUT OF HERE.

ESPECIALLY THOSE
LITTLE MONSTERS.

NOW HER I LIKE.



♪ WELCOME BACK ♪

♪ YOUR DREAMS WERE
YOUR TICKET OUT ♪

♪ WELCOME BACK ♪

♪ TO THAT SAME OLD PLACE
THAT YOU LAUGHED ABOUT ♪

♪ WELL THE NAMES
HAVE ALL CHANGED

SINCE YOU HUNG AROUND ♪

♪ BUT THOSE DREAMS HAVE REMAINED

AND THEY'VE TURNED AROUND ♪

♪ WHO'D HAVE THOUGHT
THEY'D LEAD YOU ♪

♪ WHO'D HAVE THOUGHT
THEY'D LEAD YOU ♪

♪ BACK HERE WHERE WE NEED YA ♪

♪ BACK HERE WHERE WE NEED YA ♪

♪ YEAH WE TEASE HIM A LOT

'CAUSE WE GOT HIM ON THE SPOT ♪

♪ WELCOME BACK ♪

♪ WELCOME BACK, WELCOME
BACK, WELCOME BACK ♪

♪ WELCOME BACK, WELCOME BACK ♪

♪ YEAH WE TEASE HIM A LOT ♪

♪ WELCOME BACK, WELCOME BACK ♪

♪ 'CAUSE WE GOT
HIM ON THE SPOT ♪

♪ WELCOME BACK, WELCOME BACK ♪

♪ YEAH WE TEASE HIM A LOT

'CAUSE WE GOT HIM ON THE SPOT ♪

♪ WELCOME BACK ♪

♪ WELCOME BACK, WELCOME
BACK, WELCOME BACK ♪

♪ WELCOME BACK ♪♪