Welcome Back, Kotter (1975–1979): Season 4, Episode 10 - Washington's Clone - full transcript
The school smart kid, Arthur, idolizes Washington and begins imitating him. To show his gratitude, Arthur gives Washington a watch which he thinks is stolen. Washington gets fed up with having a clone and looks for a way to turn Arthur off.
Washington: ALL RIGHT.
THERE YOU GO.
- OW!
- HEY, MAN, WHADDYA
THINK YOU'RE DOIN'?
YOU COULD HAVE BEEN KILLED.
HEY, LOOK, WHEN I MAKE
MY MOVES, JUST BACK OFF.
- WELL, HOW ABOUT
SOME ONE-ON-ONE, HUH?
- HEY, ARTHUR, DO
ME A FAVOR, RIGHT?
GET LOST!
YOU'VE BEEN FOLLOWING ME ROUND
FOR THE LAST FEW WEEKS,
MAN; I DON'T WANT YOU
FOLLOWING ME AROUND, ESPECIALLY
YOU STRAIGHT 'A' STUDENTS.
IT'S BAD FOR MY IMAGE.
- HEY, FREDDIE, NOTHING
COULD EVER HURT YOUR IMAGE.
- YEAH, THAT IS TRUE.
I WAS BORN WITH SUAVEE.
CHECK IT OUT, ARTHUR.
CAN YOU DO THIS?
- UH-UH.
- CAN YOU? CAN YOU DO THAT?
- UH-UH.
- UH-UH, RIGHT?
ARTHUR, DO ME A FAVOR, RIGHT?
JUST STICK TO YOUR HOMEWORK.
AND IF YOU'RE A GOOD BOY,
TOMORROW I'LL LET YOU DO MINE.
- HEY, YO, CATS, Y'ALL, Y'ALL.
- HEY, FREDDIE.
- THIS IS THE GREATEST
THING I EVER THOUGHT OF.
THIS IS THE GREATEST ONE YET.
CHECK IT OUT, BOY.
WHEN HE SEES THIS,
HE GONNA GO NUTS.
AND HE SHOULD BE HERE
IN ABOUT FIVE SECONDS.
HOLD UP.
FIVE, FOUR, THREE, TWO, ONE.
- THIS IS AN OUTRAGE.
AN OUTRAGE, I TELL YA!
- HELLO...
- HELLO...
- HELLO...
- HELLO...
- DON'T HELLO ME, YOU WEASELS.
ARTHUR, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
- WELL, I... I WAS...
- ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
WHICH ONE OF YOU
CLOWNS IS RESPONSIBLE?
- NOT ME, I'VE NEVER
BEEN RESPONSIBLE.
- OKAY, MR. WOODMAN,
WHAT DID WE DO NOW?
- SOMEONE STUCK A
STICKER TO MY BUMPER.
- AH, YOU KNOW WHAT
THEY SAY, MR. WOODMAN,
IT PAYS TO ADVERTISE.
- OH, MR. WOODMAN.
YOU SHOULD LEAVE THIS ON.
WHO KNOWS, YOU MAY
GET LUCKY WITH A PRUNE.
- LAUGH ABOUT IT ALL YOU
WANT BUT I'M WARNING YOU,
I'M GETTING TO THE
BOTTOM OF THIS.
- A STROKE OF GENIUS,
MR. WASHINGTON.
- YEAH, YEAH.
- HEY, MR. FREDDIE, -
PLEASE, PLEASE, GENTLEMEN,
NO APPLAUSE.
YOU'RE GOING TO EMBARRASS ME.
- I JUST KNEW YOU DID IT.
YOU ARE SO BAD.
- YOU ARE SO RIGHT.
- FREDDIE, LOOK, WE AIN'T GOT
MUCH TIME HERE BEFORE CLASS
SO COULD YOU ENDORSE
MY REPORT CARD, PLEASE?
- OH, NO PROBLEM, JUAN.
THEY DON'T CALL ME
"SWEET FINGERS FREDDIE"
FOR NOTHING.
WOO-HOO, HAND 'EM OVER.
THANK YOU, JUAN.
- ALL RIGHT.
- I LEARNED THIS ONE UPTOWN.
A LITTLE BEHIND-THE-BACK JOB.
- WHOO!
- HEY, THIS IS PERFECT.
I CAN'T READ A LETTER.
- HEY, BEAU, DON'T YOU
WANT FREDDIE TO SIGN YOURS?
- ARTHUR, A TRUE
GENTLEMAN NEVER ALLOWS
THE WRONG PERSON TO
SIGN HIS REPORT CARD.
THAT'S WHY I ALWAYS
FORGE MINE MYSELF.
- HMM, ADEQUATE BUT YOU
LACK THE "BOOM BOOM" FLAIR.
HEY, FREDDIE, NEXT
TIME, WILL YOU SIGN MINE?
- SURE ENOUGH, LITTLE BROTHER.
- LET'S SEE.
- OHH.
UH-UH, GRADES THIS
HIGH GIVE ME A NOSEBLEED.
- THERE IT IS, Y'ALL, C'MON,
LET'S GO FACE THE MUSIC.
ONE, TWO, YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO.
GO, BABY, GO.
AH-HAH.
GO, BABY GO.
YEAH, UH-HUH.
- UH-UH. ARTHUR, ARTHUR.
ARTHUR, ARTHUR, ARTHUR.
ARTHUR, THIS IS NOT YOUR CLASS.
YOUR CLASS IS DOWN THE HALL.
YOU KNOW, WHERE MR. WOODMAN
KEEPS HIS GOOD LITTLE BOYS?
WHERE EVERYONE CAN READ?
GO ON, SCOOT, SCOOT.
GOODBYE, GOODBYE.
♪ WELCOME BACK ♪
♪ YOUR DREAMS WERE
YOUR TICKET OUT ♪
♪ WELCOME BACK ♪
♪ TO THAT SAME OLD PLACE
THAT YOU LAUGHED ABOUT ♪
♪ WELL THE NAMES
HAVE ALL CHANGED ♪
♪ SINCE YOU HUNG AROUND ♪
♪ BUT THOSE DREAMS
HAVE REMAINED ♪
♪ AND THEY'VE TURNED AROUND ♪
♪ WHO'D HAVE THOUGHT
THEY'D LEAD YA ♪
♪ ♪
♪ BACK HERE WHERE WE NEED YA ♪
♪ ♪
♪ YEAH, WE TEASE HIM A LOT ♪
♪ 'CAUSE WE'VE GOT
HIM ON THE SPOT ♪
♪ WELCOME BACK ♪
♪ WELCOME BACK WELCOME
BACK WELCOME BACK ♪
♪ WELCOME BACK WELCOME BACK ♪
♪ YEAH, WE TEASE HIM A LOT ♪
♪ 'CAUSE WE'VE GOT
HIM ON THE SPOT ♪
♪ WELCOME BACK ♪
♪ WELCOME BACK WELCOME
BACK WELCOME BACK ♪
♪ WELCOME BACK WELCOME
BACK WELCOME BACK ♪
- ARTHUR, I'M REALLY
DISAPPOINTED IN YOU.
YOU'RE A STRAIGHT "A" STUDENT.
- YEAH, I'M KIND OF DISAPPOINTED
ABOUT ALL THAT
STRAIGHT "A" STUFF TOO.
- YOU USED TO BE THE ONE STUDENT
I COULD ALWAYS COUNT ON.
IF I NEEDED SOMEONE TO ORGANIZE
AN AFTERSCHOOL ACTIVITY,
I'D CALL ON ARTHUR.
- AND WHO'D YOU CALL ON WHEN
YOU WANTED SOME FUN AND LAUGHS?
- FUN AND LAUGHS?
WHO NEEDS THAT?
YOU CALL IT FUN WHAT YOU
DID TO MISS HARGROVE TODAY?
I MEAN, HOW COULD
SHE POSSIBLY MAINTAIN
PEACE AND ORDER IN THE LIBRARY
WEARING A BUMPER STICKER SAYING,
"LIBRARIANS HAVE BIG BOOKENDS"?
ARTHUR, IT WAS NOT FUNNY.
- BUT EVERYBODY LAUGHED WHEN
A CERTAIN SOMEONE DID IT TO YOU.
- THAT'S DIFFERENT.
I'M USED TO PEOPLE
LAUGHING AT MY BUMPER.
ARTHUR, WHAT'S THE
MATTER WITH YOU?
YOU WERE NEVER
IN TROUBLE BEFORE.
NOW YOU'RE TALKING
BACK, DISRUPTING CLASSES,
YOUR GRADES ARE SLIPPING.
YOU'RE ACTING LIKE...
LIKE A SWEATHOG.
- THANKS FOR THE
TALK, MR. WOODMAN.
NOW I KNOW I'M ON
THE RIGHT TRACK.
AND IN THE WORDS OF
MY MAIN MAN, "BYE THERE."
- ARTHUR, ONE MORE
THING BEFORE YOU GO.
I DON'T WANT TO SEE ANY
MORE BUMPER STICKERS.
- DON'T WORRY, YOU WON'T.
- WHAT'S HAPPENIN',
Y'ALL, WHAT'S HAPPENIN'?
HEY, WHAT'S HAPPENIN'?
DID YOU GET MY MONEY?
GET MY MONEY.
WHAT'S HAPPENIN',
Y'ALL? WHAT'S UP?
- HEY, FREDDIE, HOW YOU DOIN'?
- HEY, DUDES, WHAT'S SHAKIN'?
- WHAT IS THIS? INSTANT REPLAY?
- HEY, HOMBRO.
HEY, WHAT'S GOIN' DOWN?
- MY GRADES.
MAN, I'VE BEEN SKIPPIN'
SO MANY CLASSES,
THEY HAD TO SEND ME
AN ABSENTEE BALLOT
FOR THE SCHOOL ELECTION.
- HI, GUYS, I'M GLAD
YOU'RE ALL STILL HERE.
- HEY, MRS. KOTTER,
TAKE A LOOK AT THIS, HUH?
ON THE WAY TO SCHOOL TODAY,
FREDDIE GOT HIMSELF XEROXED.
- YEAH, I SEE.
IT'S A BAD COPY.
ARTHUR, WHY DON'T
YOU GO TO CLASS?
- WHY SHOULD I BE
THERE, MRS. KOTTER?
- WELL, FOR ONE THING,
YOU COULD BRING UP
YOUR GRADE POINT AVERAGE.
- I'D RATHER STAY HERE
AND BRING IT DOWN.
- ARTHUR.
UP YOUR AVERAGE.
- AFTER WHILE, CROCODILE.
- WELL, THAT LITTLE TYKE
CERTAINLY IS THE CAT'S MEOW.
- WELL, I HAVE SOMETHING
HERE FOR YOU GUYS.
YOUR REPORT CARDS.
ARNOLD.
FREDDIE, HERE'S YOURS.
JUAN, HERE'S YOURS.
OH, MRS. KOTTER,
THERE'S GOT TO BE SOME
KIND OF MISTAKE HERE.
I ALREADY HANDED
IN MY REPORT CARD.
- YES, I KNOW.
AND NOW YOU CAN TAKE
THIS HOME AND HAVE IT SIGNED
BY YOUR REAL PARENTS.
THOSE WERE THE WORST
FORGERIES I HAVE EVER SEEN.
- SWEET FINGERS.
- BEAU, YOU'LL BE
GETTING YOURS LATER.
YOU SEE, YOUR SIGNATURE
WAS SO HYSTERICAL
THEY'RE STILL PASSING IT
AROUND IN THE TEACHERS' LOUNGE.
- FREDDIE, SPEAKING
OF FORGERIES,
HAVEN'T YOU NOTICED THAT ARTHUR
IS TRYING TO BE
EXACTLY LIKE YOU?
- WELL, WHAT'S WRONG
WITH BEING LIKE ME?
- THERE'S NOTHING WRONG
WITH IT IF YOU'RE YOU.
- I AM ME.
- YES, BUT ARTHUR IS NOT YOU.
AND BY TRYING TO BE YOU,
HE'S ABANDONING
WHAT HE COULD BE.
- MRS. KOTTER, COULD
WE START OVER AGAIN?
I'M LOST.
OKAY, THE POINT IS THAT
ARTHUR IDOLIZES YOU GUYS,
ESPECIALLY YOU, FREDDIE.
- OH, MRS. KOTTER,
WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT?
I MEAN, DON'T I DESERVE IT?
- OF COURSE YOU
DO FOR SOME THINGS.
BUT I THINK THAT ARTHUR
IS LOOKING UP TO YOU
FOR THE WRONG REASONS.
- HEY, MRS. KOTTER,
IF HE'S IDOLIZING ME,
HOW WRONG COULD HIS REASONS BE?
- FREDDIE, DON'T YOU REALIZE
THAT YOU ARE HIS HERO?
AND BEING HIS HERO, THAT
MEANS YOU HAVE CERTAIN
RESPONSIBILITIES TOWARDS HIM.
- YEAH, I KNOW.
I GOT TO BE THE BEST
ME I CAN POSSIBLY BE,
WHICH IS PRETTY NEAR PERFECT.
- IT'S PERFECT FOR YOU
MAYBE BUT I'M NOT SO SURE
THAT IT'S PERFECT FOR ARTHUR.
- OH, MRS. KOTTER, WHAT
DO YOU WANT ME TO TELL HIM?
DON'T LOVE ME?
I'M LOVABLE.
- I'M... I'M... I'M LIKABLE.
- I'M TOLERABLE!
- I THINK YOU BETTER
SETTLE FOR "TALL."
- I THINK HE'S RIGHT.
AT LEAST IT'LL GIVE
ARTHUR ONE GOOD REASON
TO LOOK UP TO YOU.
- OH, WOW, MRS.
KOTTER, THAT'S COLD.
BOY, THAT WAS ROUGH.
- I'M SORRY, FREDDIE, BUT
YOU'RE JUST NOT THINKING.
- HEY, BOOM BOOM.
I'VE BEEN WAITING
TO TALK TO YOU.
- WHAT IS IT, KID?
- I WANT TO GIVE YOU A
TOKEN OF MY APPRECIATION.
- WHAT FOR?
- ALL THE THINGS YOU TAUGHT ME.
- OH, WOW.
HEY, THIS IS NICE, MAN.
I REALLY APPRECIATE
THIS TIMEPIECE, ARTHUR.
I CAN'T TAKE THIS FROM YOU, MAN.
- I WANT YOU TO HAVE IT.
- I WANT ME TO HAVE IT TOO.
THIS IS PRETTY HIP.
NAH, I CAN'T TAKE THIS.
IT'S TOO MUCH, MAN.
- NAH! DON'T WORRY.
PLENTY MORE WHERE
THAT CAME FROM.
- OH, WOW, ARTHUR.
I DIDN'T KNOW YOU HAD A
WHOLE WATCH COLLECTION.
MUST HAVE COST
YOU A FORTUNE, HUH?
- CHECK IT OUT, MAN, THE
PRICE TAGS ARE STILL ON 'EM.
- HEY, WHAT'S THE
MATTER, BOOM BOOM?
WOULD YOU RATHER HAVE A DIGITAL?
- COME HERE, ARTHUR, SIT DOWN.
I GOT TO TALK TO YOU, MAN.
C'MON, SIT DOWN.
- ARTHUR, YOU KNOW YOU
CAN GET TIME FOR THIS?
YOU CAN GET TIME FOR THIS.
YOU CAN'T... YOU CAN'T
GO AROUND STEALING,
MAN, THAT'S ILLEGAL.
- I ONLY DID IT 'CAUSE
I WANTED TO BE
COOL LIKE YOU AND THE GANG.
- ARTHUR, HOW CAN YOU BE
COOL, MAN, RUNNING AROUND
WITH A JACKET FULL
OF HOT MERCHANDISE?
THAT'S NOT COOL,
MAN, THAT'S CRAZY.
BESIDES, WE'RE
NOT A GANG, MY MAN.
WE'RE JUST A BUNCH OF CATS JUST
HANGING OUT TOGETHER
'CAUSE WE ENJOY ONE ANOTHER.
- DON'T YOU LIKE THE WATCHES?
- YEAH, ARTHUR, I
LIKE THE WATCHES.
I'D LIKE THEM A WHOLE LOT
MORE IF THEY'D BEEN PAID FOR.
- OH, DON'T FEEL LIKE PAYIN',
THEN HERE'S WHAT I'M SAYIN',
IF YOU GET IT FOR
FREE, IT'S OKAY BY ME.
- CATCHY, BUT STUPID.
ARTHUR, YOU GOT
EVERYTHING WRONG.
YOU GOT ME ALL WRONG. YOU
GOT EVERYTHING WRONG, MAN.
OKAY, CHECK IT OUT.
YEAH, I AM "BAD,"
BUT I'M NOT BAD BAD.
D'YOU HEAR WHAT I'M SAYING, MAN?
DIG WHERE I'M COMING FROM?
I MEAN, I FOOL AROUND
AND I HAVE MY KICKS
EVERY ONCE IN A
WHILE AND SOMETIMES
I GET IN A LITTLE
BIT OF TROUBLE.
- YEAH, SURE.
- YEAH, BUT, ARTHUR, I'M
WORKING WITH RAW MATERIAL.
I'M STILL DEVELOPING
MY POTENTIAL.
YOU'VE GOT A HEAD
START ON US, ARTHUR.
YOU'RE ALREADY SMART.
- I CAN CHANGE.
- ARTHUR, WHY SHOULD YOU CHANGE?
I WOULD LOVE TO GET GOOD GRADES.
THEY HAD TO INVENT A
WHOLE NEW ALPHABET
FOR THE KIND OF GRADES I GET.
- FREDDIE, IT'S NOT SO
GREAT GETTING STRAIGHT A'S.
- PERSONALLY, I WOULDN'T KNOW.
HEY, BUT THAT'S NOT
THE POINT, ARTHUR.
ME AND MY BUDDIES,
WE ARE WHAT WE ARE.
WE DO THE BEST WITH WHAT WE GOT.
IT JUST DON'T HAPPEN
TO BE WHAT YOU GOT.
- YEAH, BUT YOU GOT FUN.
- YEAH, BUT YOU GOT BRAINS.
DON'T THROW IT AWAY, MAN.
I HAVE TO GET BY...
I HAVE TO GET BY
ON GOOD LOOKS AND PERSONALITY.
IT AIN'T EASY.
- I'M TIRED OF STUDYING AND
BEING THE BEST AT EVERYTHING.
SEE, I WANT TO BE TOUGH.
I WANT TO BE MEAN.
I WANT TO HAVE
EXCITEMENT, ADVENTURE.
YOU KNOW, I WANT TO HAVE
WHAT YOU GOT... CHARISMA.
- HO, HA, HA, HA.
HEY, ARTHUR, MY MAN, HOW ARE
YOU GONNA GET BY ON CHALISMA?
UM, WHAT DOES... I DON'T
EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS.
- HOW ABOUT IF I STEAL A CAR?
THEN, CAN I BE LIKE YOU?
- NO, ARTHUR.
YOU CAN GO TO JAIL.
- OH, PLEASE? I'LL ROB A BANK.
I'LL MUG A MAILMAN.
HARASS A PRIEST.
- HEY, ARTHUR, THAT WON'T
BE NECESSARY, ALL RIGHT?
I JUST GOT TO THINK
ABOUT IT FOR A WHILE
AND I'LL GET BACK
TO YOU, ALL RIGHT?
- WHAT DID YOU SAY
THIS GUY'S NAME WAS?
- THE GUY'S NAME IS ARTHUR, MAN.
HE'S A KID.
- RIGHT HERE, RIGHT HERE.
- YEAH, LITTLE PAIN, MAN.
HE KEEPS FOLLOWING ME AROUND.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.
- SOUNDS LIKE A REAL
WEIRDO, YOU KNOW?
- HE'S DRIVING ME CRAZY, MAN.
- MR. SAUNDERS, I GOT
YOUR DINNER HERE.
- I'M NOT HUNGRY.
- IT'S DOCTOR'S
ORDERS, YOU GOTTA EAT.
I GOT YOU CHICKEN.
YOU LIKE CHICKEN, I
KNOW YOU LIKE CHICKEN.
THERE YOU GO.
I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE
TALKIN' ABOUT, FREDDIE.
I USED TO HAVE GUYS TRY
TO COPY ME ALL THE TIME.
- I KNOW, VINNIE, THAT'S WHY
I CAME TO YOU FOR ADVICE.
- REALLY? THANKS.
- I GUESS THAT'S WHAT
YOU CALL A "CRASH DIET."
- DON'T WORRY ABOUT
IT, MR. SAUNDERS.
I'LL CLEAN IT UP; I'VE GOT
ANOTHER ONE HERE FOR YOU.
- DON'T BOTHER.
- HE DIDN'T EAT MUCH.
- YOU SHOULD TRY THAT, MAN.
IT'S DELICIOUS.
- YOU KNOW, EITHER
THAT GUY'S GOT A TONGUE
AS LONG AS A FROG OR HE'S
GONNA STARVE TO DEATH, VINNIE.
- I'M SORRY, MR. SAUNDERS.
I'LL CRANK IT.
- IT'S BROKE. WOULD
YOU PROP HIM UP?
I'LL HAND FEED HIM.
- OH, NO PROBLEM, MAN.
- OKAY, AIRPLANE IN THE HANGAR.
HERE WE GO.
HMMMM, OPEN UP THE HANGAR,
HERE COMES THE AIRPLANE. HMMM.
HA, FOOLED YOU.
HERE WE GO.
THAT GOOD?
- GOOD.
- DO YOU MIND IF WE
TALK WHILE YOU EAT?
- I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU DO.
- NOW HOW BIG IS THIS GUY?
- OH, WOW, HE'S A LITTLE
GUY, MAN, HE'S LITTLE.
I MEAN, HE'S JUST ABOUT...
HE'S ABOUT YAY TALL, MAN.
- A LITTLE GUY?
- YEAH.
- I CAN'T BELIEVE IT.
- HMM.
- THERE YOU GO.
- YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE,
MAN? HE TRYING TO IMITATE ME,
WALK LIKE ME, DANCE LIKE ME.
- AGHHH!
- SORRY, MR. SAUNDERS.
LOOK, I'LL JUST
CLEAN THIS UP AND...
- OHHH!
- .WE'LL GET RIGHT INTO THAT...
- OHHH!
I DON'T LIKE CHICKEN.
- WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME
YOU DIDN'T LIKE CHICKEN?
I GOT ROAST BEEF.
- CHICKEN, CHICKEN,
CHICKEN, CHICK... ROAST BEEF.
FREDDIE, WOULD YOU
GET THAT BOTTOM TRAY
AND GIVE IT TO 'IM?
- YEAH.
- AGHH.
- I'M TELLIN' YOU, MAN.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO, MAN.
OOH, I KNOW, I JUST
GOT THE IDEA, MAN.
YOU KNOW, I'M GONNA GET TOGETHER
WITH EPSTEIN AND HORSHACK
AND THE REST OF THE GUYS
AND WE'RE GONNA GIVE THAT
GUY, ARTHUR, A REAL SCARE.
AND AFTER THAT, MAN,
I THINK WE'LL BE RID
OF HIM FOREVER, MAN.
WHADDYA THINK OF THAT?
- YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DO?
YOU GET TOGETHER WITH THE
GUYS AND YOU GIVE ARTHUR
A REAL SCARE AND GET
RID OF HIM FOREVER.
- LOOK, I GOT TO GET OUTTA HERE.
- YEAH, SEE YA.
- HEY, FREDDIE, WHADDYA THINK?
THE LATEST IN MEN'S JEWELRY.
- WELL, I KNOW THAT I
LOOK MEANER THAN USUAL.
THIS MORNING, WHEN I
LOOKED IN THE MIRROR,
I GAVE MYSELF ALL MY MONEY.
- ARNOLD, ARNOLD.
THE IDEA'S NOT TO
SCARE YOURSELF.
THE IDEA IS TO SCARE ARTHUR.
- WHAT'S THAT FOR?
- TO HIDE BEHIND. I
DON'T WANT TO GET HURT.
- NOBODY WANTS TO GET HURT.
- AND NOBODY IS GONNA GET HURT.
WE JUST WANT TO MAKE
ARTHUR THINK SOMEONE IS.
- ALL RIGHT, C'MON. CHECK
IT OUT, CHECK IT OUT.
WHEN WE GET DOWN TO
THE REAL NITTY GRITTY,
WE'RE GONNA GET
ARTHUR SO SCARED, MAN,
HE GONNA RUN LIKE A JACKRABBIT.
- YEAH? WELL, HERE COMES
PETER COTTONTAIL NOW.
- C'MON, POSITIONS, POSITIONS.
- HI.
- HEY, YO, YO, ARTHUR.
ARTHUR, HEY, WHAT'S HAPPENIN'?
YOU READY, ARTHUR?
- SURE, SURE.
FOR WHAT?
- HEY, ARTHUR.
WHO'S BEEN GETTING'
ON YOUR CASE LATELY?
- HEY, ARTHUR, WHO'S BEEN
BUMMIN' YOU OUT LATELY?
- HEY, ARTHUR, WHO'S BEEN
CRAMPIN' YOUR STYLE LATELY?
- EXCUSE ME, I'M SORRY.
HEY, ARTHUR, WHO'S BEEN
RAINING ON YOUR PARADE?
- IT'S MR. WOODMAN,
MR. WOODMAN, MAN.
THAT CAT'S BEEN
COMIN' DOWN ON YOU.
AND NOW WE'RE GONNA
COME DOWN ON HIM.
- GOOD.
LET'S HIDE HIS TEETH.
- WE'RE GONNA BEAT 'IM UP.
YOU GET THE FIRST HIT.
- GEE, THANKS.
- WELL, I MEAN, OF
COURSE, IF YOU CAN'T DO IT.
- I CAN DO IT.
- ALL RIGHT, HE'S GONNA BE
COMIN' OUT HERE ANY MINUTE.
WE WANT YOU TO STAND
RIGHT BEHIND THIS DOOR,
RIGHT OVER HERE.
- AND WE'LL BE RIGHT BEHIND YOU.
- TO BACK YOU UP.
- RIGHT, YEAH.
- HERE YOU ARE, ARTHUR.
TODAY, YOU ARE A MAN.
- HEY, YO, ARTHUR.
PUT SOME PRESSURE ON HIM.
- HEY, ARTHUR.
FIRST AID KIT, JUST IN CASE.
- ALL RIGHT, BROTHER,
YOU READY NOW.
I MEAN, YOU
DRESSED TO KILL, MAN.
I'M TELLING YOU, MAN, OLD
WOODY IS IN FOR IT NOW.
I MEAN, I'M GONNA
TAKE THAT GUY...
I'M GONNA TAKE THAT DUDE
AND TURN HIS NOSE UPSIDE DOWN
THAT WHEN HE GO OUT IN
THE RAIN, HE GONNA DROWN.
- ALL RIGHT!
- BUT FIRST WE HAVE TO
HAVE A LITTLE WAR COUNCIL.
YOU GOT IT OKAY, ARTHUR?
OKAY.
- HEY, FREDDIE, I THINK
YOUR PLAN HAS BACKFIRED.
- OH, OKAY, OKAY.
LEMME JUST THINK,
LEMME THINK, ALL RIGHT?
- ALL RIGHT.
- OKAY.
I GOT AN IDEA.
- WHAT?
- WE JUST GOT TO
LAY IT ON 'IM THICKER.
- THICKER?
- YEAH, LET'S GET TOUGH.
- TOUGH!
- LET'S GET MEAN.
- MEAN!
- LET'S GET HELP.
- C'MON, ARNOLD, TOUGH,
TOUGH, YOU GUYS, TOUGH.
- TOUGH, TOUGH, TOUGH, TOUGH.
- OH, WE'RE TOUGH.
OH, WE'RE TOUGH.
- TOUGH, TOUGH.
- LET'S PULVERIZE HIS BODY.
- LET'S GALVANIZE HIS TEETH.
- LET'S LIQUIDATE HIS NOSE.
- LET'S MIDASIZE HIS MUFFLER.
- SHOOT, BY THE TIME WE'VE
FINISHED WITH OLD WOODY,
HE CAN BE BURIED
IN A SARDINE CAN.
- WE'LL GIVE 'IM
OPEN-HEART SURGERY
WITH NO ANESTHETIC.
- OKAY, TIME OUT.
WAR COUNCIL TWO.
- OH DEAR, OH DEAR...
- WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?
- HEY, LOOK, I'LL TELL YOU
WHAT WE'RE GOTTA DO, RIGHT?
WE GOT TO TELL 'IM THE TRUTH.
- NOW THAT'S A GOOD IDEA.
BUT LET'S WAIT UNTIL
HE CALMS DOWN, OKAY?
BYE NOW.
- NO, NO, WE'VE GOT TO TELL 'IM
NOW IN CASE SOMETHING DRASTIC...
- NO, DON'T!
- MR. WOODMAN,
RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!
STAY WHERE YOU ARE,
YOU JUVENILE DELINQUENTS.
- I THINK IT WORKED.
- HEY, YO, BROTHER.
HEY, MAN, THIS WAS
GONNA BE A FUN NIGHT.
YOU JUST BLEW IT.
OH, MAN, YOU DON'T GOT THE
GUTS IT TAKES TO BE LIKE ME.
- IF THIS IS WHAT YOU CALL GUTS,
I'M GLAD I DON'T HAVE IT.
I'M TAKING THOSE WATCHES
BACK TO MY FATHER'S SHOP
AND THEN I'M GONNA STUDY SO HARD
THAT I'LL GRADUATE EARLY
AND GET AWAY FROM
YOU AND YOUR FRIENDS.
EXCUSE ME.
- DOES THIS MEAN YOU'RE NOT
GONNA TUTOR ME IN ENGLISH?
I GUESS THAT MEANS "NO."
- MR. WOODMAN,
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
- I'M TRYING TO GET OUTSIDE.
- HAVE YOU TRIED USING THE DOOR?
- ISN'T IT A LITTLE
EARLY FOR HALLOWEEN?
- NAH, IT'S NEVER TOO EARLY
FOR A LITTLE TRICK OR TREAT.
ESPECIALLY THE TRICK PART.
- WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?
- WE JUST GOT ARTHUR
BACK ON THE RIGHT TRACK.
- YEAH, YEAH, WE JUST
LEAD A POOR LITTLE KID
AWAY FROM A LIFE OF
CRIME AND RESTITUTION.
- YEAH.
WE REALLY GROSSED HIM OUT.
- YOU REALIZE WHAT YOU'VE DONE?
THAT BOY IDOLIZED YOU.
NOW HE THINKS YOU'RE FILTHY
SWINE, SCUM OF THE EARTH,
LOWEST OF THE LOW.
THANKS FOR SETTING HIM STRAIGHT.
- WELL, GUYS, I NEVER THOUGHT
I'D HEAR MYSELF SAY THIS
BUT THAT WAS A REALLY
NOBLE THING YOU DID.
- IT WAS FREDDIE'S IDEA.
- YEAH, I'M KIND OF GLAD WE
GOT RID OF THAT KID ANYWAY.
HE WAS GETTING ON MY NERVES.
- YEAH, WELL, HE
THOUGHT YOU WERE GREAT.
- HE THOUGHT YOU WERE COOL.
- YOU KNOW, FREDDIE,
HE THOUGHT RIGHT.
- YEAH, WELL, YOU
KNOW, EVERYBODY KNOWS
THERE'S ONLY ROOM
FOR ONE BOOM BOOM.
I'M A POET AND I KNOW IT, RIGHT?
SO, WE'RE ALL BETTER OFF,
RIGHT, MRS. KOTTER?
- RIGHT, FREDDIE.
ESPECIALLY ARTHUR.
THANKS.
- LET ME ASK YOU SOMETHING.
IF ARTHUR HADN'T DEFENDED ME,
YOU GUYS REALLY WEREN'T
GONNA WORK ME OVER, WERE YOU?
♪ WELCOME BACK ♪
♪ YOUR DREAMS WERE
YOUR TICKET OUT ♪
♪ WELCOME BACK ♪
♪ TO THAT SAME OLD PLACE
THAT YOU LAUGHED ABOUT ♪
♪ WELL, THE NAMES
HAVE ALL CHANGED ♪
♪ SINCE YOU HUNG AROUND ♪
♪ BUT THOSE DREAMS
HAVE REMAINED ♪
♪ AND THEY'VE TURNED AROUND ♪
♪ WHO'D HAVE THOUGHT
THEY'D LEAD YA ♪
♪ WHO'D HAVE THOUGHT
THEY'D LEAD YA ♪
♪ BACK HERE WHERE WE NEED YA? ♪
♪ BACK HERE WHERE WE NEED YA? ♪
♪ YEAH, WE TEASE HIM A LOT ♪
♪ 'CAUSE WE'VE GOT
HIM ON THE SPOT ♪
♪ WELCOME BACK ♪
♪ WELCOME BACK WELCOME
BACK WELCOME BACK ♪
♪ WELCOME BACK, WELCOME
BACK, WELCOME BACK ♪
♪ WE ALWAYS COULD
SPOT A FRIEND ♪
♪ WELCOME BACK ♪
♪ AND I SMILE WHEN I THINK
HOW IT MUST HAVE BEEN ♪
♪ AND I KNOW WHAT A
SCENE YOU WERE TURNING IN ♪
♪ WAS THERE SOMETHING THAT
MADE YOU COME BACK AGAIN ♪
♪ AND WHAT COULD EVER LEAD YA ♪
♪ ♪
♪ BACK HERE WHERE WE NEED YA ♪
♪ ♪
THERE YOU GO.
- OW!
- HEY, MAN, WHADDYA
THINK YOU'RE DOIN'?
YOU COULD HAVE BEEN KILLED.
HEY, LOOK, WHEN I MAKE
MY MOVES, JUST BACK OFF.
- WELL, HOW ABOUT
SOME ONE-ON-ONE, HUH?
- HEY, ARTHUR, DO
ME A FAVOR, RIGHT?
GET LOST!
YOU'VE BEEN FOLLOWING ME ROUND
FOR THE LAST FEW WEEKS,
MAN; I DON'T WANT YOU
FOLLOWING ME AROUND, ESPECIALLY
YOU STRAIGHT 'A' STUDENTS.
IT'S BAD FOR MY IMAGE.
- HEY, FREDDIE, NOTHING
COULD EVER HURT YOUR IMAGE.
- YEAH, THAT IS TRUE.
I WAS BORN WITH SUAVEE.
CHECK IT OUT, ARTHUR.
CAN YOU DO THIS?
- UH-UH.
- CAN YOU? CAN YOU DO THAT?
- UH-UH.
- UH-UH, RIGHT?
ARTHUR, DO ME A FAVOR, RIGHT?
JUST STICK TO YOUR HOMEWORK.
AND IF YOU'RE A GOOD BOY,
TOMORROW I'LL LET YOU DO MINE.
- HEY, YO, CATS, Y'ALL, Y'ALL.
- HEY, FREDDIE.
- THIS IS THE GREATEST
THING I EVER THOUGHT OF.
THIS IS THE GREATEST ONE YET.
CHECK IT OUT, BOY.
WHEN HE SEES THIS,
HE GONNA GO NUTS.
AND HE SHOULD BE HERE
IN ABOUT FIVE SECONDS.
HOLD UP.
FIVE, FOUR, THREE, TWO, ONE.
- THIS IS AN OUTRAGE.
AN OUTRAGE, I TELL YA!
- HELLO...
- HELLO...
- HELLO...
- HELLO...
- DON'T HELLO ME, YOU WEASELS.
ARTHUR, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
- WELL, I... I WAS...
- ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
WHICH ONE OF YOU
CLOWNS IS RESPONSIBLE?
- NOT ME, I'VE NEVER
BEEN RESPONSIBLE.
- OKAY, MR. WOODMAN,
WHAT DID WE DO NOW?
- SOMEONE STUCK A
STICKER TO MY BUMPER.
- AH, YOU KNOW WHAT
THEY SAY, MR. WOODMAN,
IT PAYS TO ADVERTISE.
- OH, MR. WOODMAN.
YOU SHOULD LEAVE THIS ON.
WHO KNOWS, YOU MAY
GET LUCKY WITH A PRUNE.
- LAUGH ABOUT IT ALL YOU
WANT BUT I'M WARNING YOU,
I'M GETTING TO THE
BOTTOM OF THIS.
- A STROKE OF GENIUS,
MR. WASHINGTON.
- YEAH, YEAH.
- HEY, MR. FREDDIE, -
PLEASE, PLEASE, GENTLEMEN,
NO APPLAUSE.
YOU'RE GOING TO EMBARRASS ME.
- I JUST KNEW YOU DID IT.
YOU ARE SO BAD.
- YOU ARE SO RIGHT.
- FREDDIE, LOOK, WE AIN'T GOT
MUCH TIME HERE BEFORE CLASS
SO COULD YOU ENDORSE
MY REPORT CARD, PLEASE?
- OH, NO PROBLEM, JUAN.
THEY DON'T CALL ME
"SWEET FINGERS FREDDIE"
FOR NOTHING.
WOO-HOO, HAND 'EM OVER.
THANK YOU, JUAN.
- ALL RIGHT.
- I LEARNED THIS ONE UPTOWN.
A LITTLE BEHIND-THE-BACK JOB.
- WHOO!
- HEY, THIS IS PERFECT.
I CAN'T READ A LETTER.
- HEY, BEAU, DON'T YOU
WANT FREDDIE TO SIGN YOURS?
- ARTHUR, A TRUE
GENTLEMAN NEVER ALLOWS
THE WRONG PERSON TO
SIGN HIS REPORT CARD.
THAT'S WHY I ALWAYS
FORGE MINE MYSELF.
- HMM, ADEQUATE BUT YOU
LACK THE "BOOM BOOM" FLAIR.
HEY, FREDDIE, NEXT
TIME, WILL YOU SIGN MINE?
- SURE ENOUGH, LITTLE BROTHER.
- LET'S SEE.
- OHH.
UH-UH, GRADES THIS
HIGH GIVE ME A NOSEBLEED.
- THERE IT IS, Y'ALL, C'MON,
LET'S GO FACE THE MUSIC.
ONE, TWO, YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO.
GO, BABY, GO.
AH-HAH.
GO, BABY GO.
YEAH, UH-HUH.
- UH-UH. ARTHUR, ARTHUR.
ARTHUR, ARTHUR, ARTHUR.
ARTHUR, THIS IS NOT YOUR CLASS.
YOUR CLASS IS DOWN THE HALL.
YOU KNOW, WHERE MR. WOODMAN
KEEPS HIS GOOD LITTLE BOYS?
WHERE EVERYONE CAN READ?
GO ON, SCOOT, SCOOT.
GOODBYE, GOODBYE.
♪ WELCOME BACK ♪
♪ YOUR DREAMS WERE
YOUR TICKET OUT ♪
♪ WELCOME BACK ♪
♪ TO THAT SAME OLD PLACE
THAT YOU LAUGHED ABOUT ♪
♪ WELL THE NAMES
HAVE ALL CHANGED ♪
♪ SINCE YOU HUNG AROUND ♪
♪ BUT THOSE DREAMS
HAVE REMAINED ♪
♪ AND THEY'VE TURNED AROUND ♪
♪ WHO'D HAVE THOUGHT
THEY'D LEAD YA ♪
♪ ♪
♪ BACK HERE WHERE WE NEED YA ♪
♪ ♪
♪ YEAH, WE TEASE HIM A LOT ♪
♪ 'CAUSE WE'VE GOT
HIM ON THE SPOT ♪
♪ WELCOME BACK ♪
♪ WELCOME BACK WELCOME
BACK WELCOME BACK ♪
♪ WELCOME BACK WELCOME BACK ♪
♪ YEAH, WE TEASE HIM A LOT ♪
♪ 'CAUSE WE'VE GOT
HIM ON THE SPOT ♪
♪ WELCOME BACK ♪
♪ WELCOME BACK WELCOME
BACK WELCOME BACK ♪
♪ WELCOME BACK WELCOME
BACK WELCOME BACK ♪
- ARTHUR, I'M REALLY
DISAPPOINTED IN YOU.
YOU'RE A STRAIGHT "A" STUDENT.
- YEAH, I'M KIND OF DISAPPOINTED
ABOUT ALL THAT
STRAIGHT "A" STUFF TOO.
- YOU USED TO BE THE ONE STUDENT
I COULD ALWAYS COUNT ON.
IF I NEEDED SOMEONE TO ORGANIZE
AN AFTERSCHOOL ACTIVITY,
I'D CALL ON ARTHUR.
- AND WHO'D YOU CALL ON WHEN
YOU WANTED SOME FUN AND LAUGHS?
- FUN AND LAUGHS?
WHO NEEDS THAT?
YOU CALL IT FUN WHAT YOU
DID TO MISS HARGROVE TODAY?
I MEAN, HOW COULD
SHE POSSIBLY MAINTAIN
PEACE AND ORDER IN THE LIBRARY
WEARING A BUMPER STICKER SAYING,
"LIBRARIANS HAVE BIG BOOKENDS"?
ARTHUR, IT WAS NOT FUNNY.
- BUT EVERYBODY LAUGHED WHEN
A CERTAIN SOMEONE DID IT TO YOU.
- THAT'S DIFFERENT.
I'M USED TO PEOPLE
LAUGHING AT MY BUMPER.
ARTHUR, WHAT'S THE
MATTER WITH YOU?
YOU WERE NEVER
IN TROUBLE BEFORE.
NOW YOU'RE TALKING
BACK, DISRUPTING CLASSES,
YOUR GRADES ARE SLIPPING.
YOU'RE ACTING LIKE...
LIKE A SWEATHOG.
- THANKS FOR THE
TALK, MR. WOODMAN.
NOW I KNOW I'M ON
THE RIGHT TRACK.
AND IN THE WORDS OF
MY MAIN MAN, "BYE THERE."
- ARTHUR, ONE MORE
THING BEFORE YOU GO.
I DON'T WANT TO SEE ANY
MORE BUMPER STICKERS.
- DON'T WORRY, YOU WON'T.
- WHAT'S HAPPENIN',
Y'ALL, WHAT'S HAPPENIN'?
HEY, WHAT'S HAPPENIN'?
DID YOU GET MY MONEY?
GET MY MONEY.
WHAT'S HAPPENIN',
Y'ALL? WHAT'S UP?
- HEY, FREDDIE, HOW YOU DOIN'?
- HEY, DUDES, WHAT'S SHAKIN'?
- WHAT IS THIS? INSTANT REPLAY?
- HEY, HOMBRO.
HEY, WHAT'S GOIN' DOWN?
- MY GRADES.
MAN, I'VE BEEN SKIPPIN'
SO MANY CLASSES,
THEY HAD TO SEND ME
AN ABSENTEE BALLOT
FOR THE SCHOOL ELECTION.
- HI, GUYS, I'M GLAD
YOU'RE ALL STILL HERE.
- HEY, MRS. KOTTER,
TAKE A LOOK AT THIS, HUH?
ON THE WAY TO SCHOOL TODAY,
FREDDIE GOT HIMSELF XEROXED.
- YEAH, I SEE.
IT'S A BAD COPY.
ARTHUR, WHY DON'T
YOU GO TO CLASS?
- WHY SHOULD I BE
THERE, MRS. KOTTER?
- WELL, FOR ONE THING,
YOU COULD BRING UP
YOUR GRADE POINT AVERAGE.
- I'D RATHER STAY HERE
AND BRING IT DOWN.
- ARTHUR.
UP YOUR AVERAGE.
- AFTER WHILE, CROCODILE.
- WELL, THAT LITTLE TYKE
CERTAINLY IS THE CAT'S MEOW.
- WELL, I HAVE SOMETHING
HERE FOR YOU GUYS.
YOUR REPORT CARDS.
ARNOLD.
FREDDIE, HERE'S YOURS.
JUAN, HERE'S YOURS.
OH, MRS. KOTTER,
THERE'S GOT TO BE SOME
KIND OF MISTAKE HERE.
I ALREADY HANDED
IN MY REPORT CARD.
- YES, I KNOW.
AND NOW YOU CAN TAKE
THIS HOME AND HAVE IT SIGNED
BY YOUR REAL PARENTS.
THOSE WERE THE WORST
FORGERIES I HAVE EVER SEEN.
- SWEET FINGERS.
- BEAU, YOU'LL BE
GETTING YOURS LATER.
YOU SEE, YOUR SIGNATURE
WAS SO HYSTERICAL
THEY'RE STILL PASSING IT
AROUND IN THE TEACHERS' LOUNGE.
- FREDDIE, SPEAKING
OF FORGERIES,
HAVEN'T YOU NOTICED THAT ARTHUR
IS TRYING TO BE
EXACTLY LIKE YOU?
- WELL, WHAT'S WRONG
WITH BEING LIKE ME?
- THERE'S NOTHING WRONG
WITH IT IF YOU'RE YOU.
- I AM ME.
- YES, BUT ARTHUR IS NOT YOU.
AND BY TRYING TO BE YOU,
HE'S ABANDONING
WHAT HE COULD BE.
- MRS. KOTTER, COULD
WE START OVER AGAIN?
I'M LOST.
OKAY, THE POINT IS THAT
ARTHUR IDOLIZES YOU GUYS,
ESPECIALLY YOU, FREDDIE.
- OH, MRS. KOTTER,
WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT?
I MEAN, DON'T I DESERVE IT?
- OF COURSE YOU
DO FOR SOME THINGS.
BUT I THINK THAT ARTHUR
IS LOOKING UP TO YOU
FOR THE WRONG REASONS.
- HEY, MRS. KOTTER,
IF HE'S IDOLIZING ME,
HOW WRONG COULD HIS REASONS BE?
- FREDDIE, DON'T YOU REALIZE
THAT YOU ARE HIS HERO?
AND BEING HIS HERO, THAT
MEANS YOU HAVE CERTAIN
RESPONSIBILITIES TOWARDS HIM.
- YEAH, I KNOW.
I GOT TO BE THE BEST
ME I CAN POSSIBLY BE,
WHICH IS PRETTY NEAR PERFECT.
- IT'S PERFECT FOR YOU
MAYBE BUT I'M NOT SO SURE
THAT IT'S PERFECT FOR ARTHUR.
- OH, MRS. KOTTER, WHAT
DO YOU WANT ME TO TELL HIM?
DON'T LOVE ME?
I'M LOVABLE.
- I'M... I'M... I'M LIKABLE.
- I'M TOLERABLE!
- I THINK YOU BETTER
SETTLE FOR "TALL."
- I THINK HE'S RIGHT.
AT LEAST IT'LL GIVE
ARTHUR ONE GOOD REASON
TO LOOK UP TO YOU.
- OH, WOW, MRS.
KOTTER, THAT'S COLD.
BOY, THAT WAS ROUGH.
- I'M SORRY, FREDDIE, BUT
YOU'RE JUST NOT THINKING.
- HEY, BOOM BOOM.
I'VE BEEN WAITING
TO TALK TO YOU.
- WHAT IS IT, KID?
- I WANT TO GIVE YOU A
TOKEN OF MY APPRECIATION.
- WHAT FOR?
- ALL THE THINGS YOU TAUGHT ME.
- OH, WOW.
HEY, THIS IS NICE, MAN.
I REALLY APPRECIATE
THIS TIMEPIECE, ARTHUR.
I CAN'T TAKE THIS FROM YOU, MAN.
- I WANT YOU TO HAVE IT.
- I WANT ME TO HAVE IT TOO.
THIS IS PRETTY HIP.
NAH, I CAN'T TAKE THIS.
IT'S TOO MUCH, MAN.
- NAH! DON'T WORRY.
PLENTY MORE WHERE
THAT CAME FROM.
- OH, WOW, ARTHUR.
I DIDN'T KNOW YOU HAD A
WHOLE WATCH COLLECTION.
MUST HAVE COST
YOU A FORTUNE, HUH?
- CHECK IT OUT, MAN, THE
PRICE TAGS ARE STILL ON 'EM.
- HEY, WHAT'S THE
MATTER, BOOM BOOM?
WOULD YOU RATHER HAVE A DIGITAL?
- COME HERE, ARTHUR, SIT DOWN.
I GOT TO TALK TO YOU, MAN.
C'MON, SIT DOWN.
- ARTHUR, YOU KNOW YOU
CAN GET TIME FOR THIS?
YOU CAN GET TIME FOR THIS.
YOU CAN'T... YOU CAN'T
GO AROUND STEALING,
MAN, THAT'S ILLEGAL.
- I ONLY DID IT 'CAUSE
I WANTED TO BE
COOL LIKE YOU AND THE GANG.
- ARTHUR, HOW CAN YOU BE
COOL, MAN, RUNNING AROUND
WITH A JACKET FULL
OF HOT MERCHANDISE?
THAT'S NOT COOL,
MAN, THAT'S CRAZY.
BESIDES, WE'RE
NOT A GANG, MY MAN.
WE'RE JUST A BUNCH OF CATS JUST
HANGING OUT TOGETHER
'CAUSE WE ENJOY ONE ANOTHER.
- DON'T YOU LIKE THE WATCHES?
- YEAH, ARTHUR, I
LIKE THE WATCHES.
I'D LIKE THEM A WHOLE LOT
MORE IF THEY'D BEEN PAID FOR.
- OH, DON'T FEEL LIKE PAYIN',
THEN HERE'S WHAT I'M SAYIN',
IF YOU GET IT FOR
FREE, IT'S OKAY BY ME.
- CATCHY, BUT STUPID.
ARTHUR, YOU GOT
EVERYTHING WRONG.
YOU GOT ME ALL WRONG. YOU
GOT EVERYTHING WRONG, MAN.
OKAY, CHECK IT OUT.
YEAH, I AM "BAD,"
BUT I'M NOT BAD BAD.
D'YOU HEAR WHAT I'M SAYING, MAN?
DIG WHERE I'M COMING FROM?
I MEAN, I FOOL AROUND
AND I HAVE MY KICKS
EVERY ONCE IN A
WHILE AND SOMETIMES
I GET IN A LITTLE
BIT OF TROUBLE.
- YEAH, SURE.
- YEAH, BUT, ARTHUR, I'M
WORKING WITH RAW MATERIAL.
I'M STILL DEVELOPING
MY POTENTIAL.
YOU'VE GOT A HEAD
START ON US, ARTHUR.
YOU'RE ALREADY SMART.
- I CAN CHANGE.
- ARTHUR, WHY SHOULD YOU CHANGE?
I WOULD LOVE TO GET GOOD GRADES.
THEY HAD TO INVENT A
WHOLE NEW ALPHABET
FOR THE KIND OF GRADES I GET.
- FREDDIE, IT'S NOT SO
GREAT GETTING STRAIGHT A'S.
- PERSONALLY, I WOULDN'T KNOW.
HEY, BUT THAT'S NOT
THE POINT, ARTHUR.
ME AND MY BUDDIES,
WE ARE WHAT WE ARE.
WE DO THE BEST WITH WHAT WE GOT.
IT JUST DON'T HAPPEN
TO BE WHAT YOU GOT.
- YEAH, BUT YOU GOT FUN.
- YEAH, BUT YOU GOT BRAINS.
DON'T THROW IT AWAY, MAN.
I HAVE TO GET BY...
I HAVE TO GET BY
ON GOOD LOOKS AND PERSONALITY.
IT AIN'T EASY.
- I'M TIRED OF STUDYING AND
BEING THE BEST AT EVERYTHING.
SEE, I WANT TO BE TOUGH.
I WANT TO BE MEAN.
I WANT TO HAVE
EXCITEMENT, ADVENTURE.
YOU KNOW, I WANT TO HAVE
WHAT YOU GOT... CHARISMA.
- HO, HA, HA, HA.
HEY, ARTHUR, MY MAN, HOW ARE
YOU GONNA GET BY ON CHALISMA?
UM, WHAT DOES... I DON'T
EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS.
- HOW ABOUT IF I STEAL A CAR?
THEN, CAN I BE LIKE YOU?
- NO, ARTHUR.
YOU CAN GO TO JAIL.
- OH, PLEASE? I'LL ROB A BANK.
I'LL MUG A MAILMAN.
HARASS A PRIEST.
- HEY, ARTHUR, THAT WON'T
BE NECESSARY, ALL RIGHT?
I JUST GOT TO THINK
ABOUT IT FOR A WHILE
AND I'LL GET BACK
TO YOU, ALL RIGHT?
- WHAT DID YOU SAY
THIS GUY'S NAME WAS?
- THE GUY'S NAME IS ARTHUR, MAN.
HE'S A KID.
- RIGHT HERE, RIGHT HERE.
- YEAH, LITTLE PAIN, MAN.
HE KEEPS FOLLOWING ME AROUND.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.
- SOUNDS LIKE A REAL
WEIRDO, YOU KNOW?
- HE'S DRIVING ME CRAZY, MAN.
- MR. SAUNDERS, I GOT
YOUR DINNER HERE.
- I'M NOT HUNGRY.
- IT'S DOCTOR'S
ORDERS, YOU GOTTA EAT.
I GOT YOU CHICKEN.
YOU LIKE CHICKEN, I
KNOW YOU LIKE CHICKEN.
THERE YOU GO.
I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE
TALKIN' ABOUT, FREDDIE.
I USED TO HAVE GUYS TRY
TO COPY ME ALL THE TIME.
- I KNOW, VINNIE, THAT'S WHY
I CAME TO YOU FOR ADVICE.
- REALLY? THANKS.
- I GUESS THAT'S WHAT
YOU CALL A "CRASH DIET."
- DON'T WORRY ABOUT
IT, MR. SAUNDERS.
I'LL CLEAN IT UP; I'VE GOT
ANOTHER ONE HERE FOR YOU.
- DON'T BOTHER.
- HE DIDN'T EAT MUCH.
- YOU SHOULD TRY THAT, MAN.
IT'S DELICIOUS.
- YOU KNOW, EITHER
THAT GUY'S GOT A TONGUE
AS LONG AS A FROG OR HE'S
GONNA STARVE TO DEATH, VINNIE.
- I'M SORRY, MR. SAUNDERS.
I'LL CRANK IT.
- IT'S BROKE. WOULD
YOU PROP HIM UP?
I'LL HAND FEED HIM.
- OH, NO PROBLEM, MAN.
- OKAY, AIRPLANE IN THE HANGAR.
HERE WE GO.
HMMMM, OPEN UP THE HANGAR,
HERE COMES THE AIRPLANE. HMMM.
HA, FOOLED YOU.
HERE WE GO.
THAT GOOD?
- GOOD.
- DO YOU MIND IF WE
TALK WHILE YOU EAT?
- I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU DO.
- NOW HOW BIG IS THIS GUY?
- OH, WOW, HE'S A LITTLE
GUY, MAN, HE'S LITTLE.
I MEAN, HE'S JUST ABOUT...
HE'S ABOUT YAY TALL, MAN.
- A LITTLE GUY?
- YEAH.
- I CAN'T BELIEVE IT.
- HMM.
- THERE YOU GO.
- YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE,
MAN? HE TRYING TO IMITATE ME,
WALK LIKE ME, DANCE LIKE ME.
- AGHHH!
- SORRY, MR. SAUNDERS.
LOOK, I'LL JUST
CLEAN THIS UP AND...
- OHHH!
- .WE'LL GET RIGHT INTO THAT...
- OHHH!
I DON'T LIKE CHICKEN.
- WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME
YOU DIDN'T LIKE CHICKEN?
I GOT ROAST BEEF.
- CHICKEN, CHICKEN,
CHICKEN, CHICK... ROAST BEEF.
FREDDIE, WOULD YOU
GET THAT BOTTOM TRAY
AND GIVE IT TO 'IM?
- YEAH.
- AGHH.
- I'M TELLIN' YOU, MAN.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO, MAN.
OOH, I KNOW, I JUST
GOT THE IDEA, MAN.
YOU KNOW, I'M GONNA GET TOGETHER
WITH EPSTEIN AND HORSHACK
AND THE REST OF THE GUYS
AND WE'RE GONNA GIVE THAT
GUY, ARTHUR, A REAL SCARE.
AND AFTER THAT, MAN,
I THINK WE'LL BE RID
OF HIM FOREVER, MAN.
WHADDYA THINK OF THAT?
- YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DO?
YOU GET TOGETHER WITH THE
GUYS AND YOU GIVE ARTHUR
A REAL SCARE AND GET
RID OF HIM FOREVER.
- LOOK, I GOT TO GET OUTTA HERE.
- YEAH, SEE YA.
- HEY, FREDDIE, WHADDYA THINK?
THE LATEST IN MEN'S JEWELRY.
- WELL, I KNOW THAT I
LOOK MEANER THAN USUAL.
THIS MORNING, WHEN I
LOOKED IN THE MIRROR,
I GAVE MYSELF ALL MY MONEY.
- ARNOLD, ARNOLD.
THE IDEA'S NOT TO
SCARE YOURSELF.
THE IDEA IS TO SCARE ARTHUR.
- WHAT'S THAT FOR?
- TO HIDE BEHIND. I
DON'T WANT TO GET HURT.
- NOBODY WANTS TO GET HURT.
- AND NOBODY IS GONNA GET HURT.
WE JUST WANT TO MAKE
ARTHUR THINK SOMEONE IS.
- ALL RIGHT, C'MON. CHECK
IT OUT, CHECK IT OUT.
WHEN WE GET DOWN TO
THE REAL NITTY GRITTY,
WE'RE GONNA GET
ARTHUR SO SCARED, MAN,
HE GONNA RUN LIKE A JACKRABBIT.
- YEAH? WELL, HERE COMES
PETER COTTONTAIL NOW.
- C'MON, POSITIONS, POSITIONS.
- HI.
- HEY, YO, YO, ARTHUR.
ARTHUR, HEY, WHAT'S HAPPENIN'?
YOU READY, ARTHUR?
- SURE, SURE.
FOR WHAT?
- HEY, ARTHUR.
WHO'S BEEN GETTING'
ON YOUR CASE LATELY?
- HEY, ARTHUR, WHO'S BEEN
BUMMIN' YOU OUT LATELY?
- HEY, ARTHUR, WHO'S BEEN
CRAMPIN' YOUR STYLE LATELY?
- EXCUSE ME, I'M SORRY.
HEY, ARTHUR, WHO'S BEEN
RAINING ON YOUR PARADE?
- IT'S MR. WOODMAN,
MR. WOODMAN, MAN.
THAT CAT'S BEEN
COMIN' DOWN ON YOU.
AND NOW WE'RE GONNA
COME DOWN ON HIM.
- GOOD.
LET'S HIDE HIS TEETH.
- WE'RE GONNA BEAT 'IM UP.
YOU GET THE FIRST HIT.
- GEE, THANKS.
- WELL, I MEAN, OF
COURSE, IF YOU CAN'T DO IT.
- I CAN DO IT.
- ALL RIGHT, HE'S GONNA BE
COMIN' OUT HERE ANY MINUTE.
WE WANT YOU TO STAND
RIGHT BEHIND THIS DOOR,
RIGHT OVER HERE.
- AND WE'LL BE RIGHT BEHIND YOU.
- TO BACK YOU UP.
- RIGHT, YEAH.
- HERE YOU ARE, ARTHUR.
TODAY, YOU ARE A MAN.
- HEY, YO, ARTHUR.
PUT SOME PRESSURE ON HIM.
- HEY, ARTHUR.
FIRST AID KIT, JUST IN CASE.
- ALL RIGHT, BROTHER,
YOU READY NOW.
I MEAN, YOU
DRESSED TO KILL, MAN.
I'M TELLING YOU, MAN, OLD
WOODY IS IN FOR IT NOW.
I MEAN, I'M GONNA
TAKE THAT GUY...
I'M GONNA TAKE THAT DUDE
AND TURN HIS NOSE UPSIDE DOWN
THAT WHEN HE GO OUT IN
THE RAIN, HE GONNA DROWN.
- ALL RIGHT!
- BUT FIRST WE HAVE TO
HAVE A LITTLE WAR COUNCIL.
YOU GOT IT OKAY, ARTHUR?
OKAY.
- HEY, FREDDIE, I THINK
YOUR PLAN HAS BACKFIRED.
- OH, OKAY, OKAY.
LEMME JUST THINK,
LEMME THINK, ALL RIGHT?
- ALL RIGHT.
- OKAY.
I GOT AN IDEA.
- WHAT?
- WE JUST GOT TO
LAY IT ON 'IM THICKER.
- THICKER?
- YEAH, LET'S GET TOUGH.
- TOUGH!
- LET'S GET MEAN.
- MEAN!
- LET'S GET HELP.
- C'MON, ARNOLD, TOUGH,
TOUGH, YOU GUYS, TOUGH.
- TOUGH, TOUGH, TOUGH, TOUGH.
- OH, WE'RE TOUGH.
OH, WE'RE TOUGH.
- TOUGH, TOUGH.
- LET'S PULVERIZE HIS BODY.
- LET'S GALVANIZE HIS TEETH.
- LET'S LIQUIDATE HIS NOSE.
- LET'S MIDASIZE HIS MUFFLER.
- SHOOT, BY THE TIME WE'VE
FINISHED WITH OLD WOODY,
HE CAN BE BURIED
IN A SARDINE CAN.
- WE'LL GIVE 'IM
OPEN-HEART SURGERY
WITH NO ANESTHETIC.
- OKAY, TIME OUT.
WAR COUNCIL TWO.
- OH DEAR, OH DEAR...
- WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?
- HEY, LOOK, I'LL TELL YOU
WHAT WE'RE GOTTA DO, RIGHT?
WE GOT TO TELL 'IM THE TRUTH.
- NOW THAT'S A GOOD IDEA.
BUT LET'S WAIT UNTIL
HE CALMS DOWN, OKAY?
BYE NOW.
- NO, NO, WE'VE GOT TO TELL 'IM
NOW IN CASE SOMETHING DRASTIC...
- NO, DON'T!
- MR. WOODMAN,
RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!
STAY WHERE YOU ARE,
YOU JUVENILE DELINQUENTS.
- I THINK IT WORKED.
- HEY, YO, BROTHER.
HEY, MAN, THIS WAS
GONNA BE A FUN NIGHT.
YOU JUST BLEW IT.
OH, MAN, YOU DON'T GOT THE
GUTS IT TAKES TO BE LIKE ME.
- IF THIS IS WHAT YOU CALL GUTS,
I'M GLAD I DON'T HAVE IT.
I'M TAKING THOSE WATCHES
BACK TO MY FATHER'S SHOP
AND THEN I'M GONNA STUDY SO HARD
THAT I'LL GRADUATE EARLY
AND GET AWAY FROM
YOU AND YOUR FRIENDS.
EXCUSE ME.
- DOES THIS MEAN YOU'RE NOT
GONNA TUTOR ME IN ENGLISH?
I GUESS THAT MEANS "NO."
- MR. WOODMAN,
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
- I'M TRYING TO GET OUTSIDE.
- HAVE YOU TRIED USING THE DOOR?
- ISN'T IT A LITTLE
EARLY FOR HALLOWEEN?
- NAH, IT'S NEVER TOO EARLY
FOR A LITTLE TRICK OR TREAT.
ESPECIALLY THE TRICK PART.
- WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?
- WE JUST GOT ARTHUR
BACK ON THE RIGHT TRACK.
- YEAH, YEAH, WE JUST
LEAD A POOR LITTLE KID
AWAY FROM A LIFE OF
CRIME AND RESTITUTION.
- YEAH.
WE REALLY GROSSED HIM OUT.
- YOU REALIZE WHAT YOU'VE DONE?
THAT BOY IDOLIZED YOU.
NOW HE THINKS YOU'RE FILTHY
SWINE, SCUM OF THE EARTH,
LOWEST OF THE LOW.
THANKS FOR SETTING HIM STRAIGHT.
- WELL, GUYS, I NEVER THOUGHT
I'D HEAR MYSELF SAY THIS
BUT THAT WAS A REALLY
NOBLE THING YOU DID.
- IT WAS FREDDIE'S IDEA.
- YEAH, I'M KIND OF GLAD WE
GOT RID OF THAT KID ANYWAY.
HE WAS GETTING ON MY NERVES.
- YEAH, WELL, HE
THOUGHT YOU WERE GREAT.
- HE THOUGHT YOU WERE COOL.
- YOU KNOW, FREDDIE,
HE THOUGHT RIGHT.
- YEAH, WELL, YOU
KNOW, EVERYBODY KNOWS
THERE'S ONLY ROOM
FOR ONE BOOM BOOM.
I'M A POET AND I KNOW IT, RIGHT?
SO, WE'RE ALL BETTER OFF,
RIGHT, MRS. KOTTER?
- RIGHT, FREDDIE.
ESPECIALLY ARTHUR.
THANKS.
- LET ME ASK YOU SOMETHING.
IF ARTHUR HADN'T DEFENDED ME,
YOU GUYS REALLY WEREN'T
GONNA WORK ME OVER, WERE YOU?
♪ WELCOME BACK ♪
♪ YOUR DREAMS WERE
YOUR TICKET OUT ♪
♪ WELCOME BACK ♪
♪ TO THAT SAME OLD PLACE
THAT YOU LAUGHED ABOUT ♪
♪ WELL, THE NAMES
HAVE ALL CHANGED ♪
♪ SINCE YOU HUNG AROUND ♪
♪ BUT THOSE DREAMS
HAVE REMAINED ♪
♪ AND THEY'VE TURNED AROUND ♪
♪ WHO'D HAVE THOUGHT
THEY'D LEAD YA ♪
♪ WHO'D HAVE THOUGHT
THEY'D LEAD YA ♪
♪ BACK HERE WHERE WE NEED YA? ♪
♪ BACK HERE WHERE WE NEED YA? ♪
♪ YEAH, WE TEASE HIM A LOT ♪
♪ 'CAUSE WE'VE GOT
HIM ON THE SPOT ♪
♪ WELCOME BACK ♪
♪ WELCOME BACK WELCOME
BACK WELCOME BACK ♪
♪ WELCOME BACK, WELCOME
BACK, WELCOME BACK ♪
♪ WE ALWAYS COULD
SPOT A FRIEND ♪
♪ WELCOME BACK ♪
♪ AND I SMILE WHEN I THINK
HOW IT MUST HAVE BEEN ♪
♪ AND I KNOW WHAT A
SCENE YOU WERE TURNING IN ♪
♪ WAS THERE SOMETHING THAT
MADE YOU COME BACK AGAIN ♪
♪ AND WHAT COULD EVER LEAD YA ♪
♪ ♪
♪ BACK HERE WHERE WE NEED YA ♪
♪ ♪