Welcome Back, Kotter (1975–1979): Season 3, Episode 4 - And Baby Makes Four: Part 3 - full transcript
JULIE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
WHY ARE YOU BENDING DOWN?
DO YOU WANT THE BABY TO BE BORN
WITH A BAD BACK?
HEY, VINNIE. VINNIE, VINNIE.
NOW, COME ON, YOU
DON'T WANT TO BE LATE
ON THE FIRST DAY OF
SCHOOL, NOW, DO YOU?
I CAN'T GO IN THERE,
I GOT LEFT BACK.
NOW, HEAR THIS.
ALL HANDS ON DECK.
NOTIFY MR. KOTTER HIS
WIFE IS HAVING A BABY.
BOUNCING BABIES.
TWINS?
GIRLS. GIRLS, GABE!
TWINS.
THE MOTHER AND
DAUGHTERS ARE DOING FINE.
♪
♪ WELCOME BACK ♪
♪ YOUR DREAMS WERE
YOUR TICKET OUT ♪
♪ WELCOME BACK ♪
♪ TO THAT SAME OLD PLACE
THAT YOU LAUGHED ABOUT ♪
♪ WELL THE NAMES
HAVE ALL CHANGED
SINCE YOU HUNG AROUND ♪
♪ BUT THOSE DREAMS HAVE REMAINED
AND THEY'VE TURNED AROUND ♪
♪ WHO'D HAVE THOUGHT
THEY'D LEAD YA ♪
♪ WHO'D HAVE THOUGHT
THEY'D LEAD YA ♪
♪ BACK HERE WHERE WE NEED YA ♪
♪ BACK HERE WHERE WE NEED YA ♪
♪ YEAH, WE TEASE HIM A LOT ♪
♪ 'CAUSE WE GOT
HIM ON THE SPOT ♪
♪ WELCOME BACK ♪
♪ WELCOME BACK, WELCOME
BACK, WELCOME BACK ♪♪
♪
NOW THAT'S THE DULLEST
STORY I EVER HEARD.
DULL?
IT WAS BORING!
YOU KNOW, YOU SHOULD
BE CHARGED WITH P.D.
PREMEDITATED DULLNESS.
ALL RIGHT, CORK IT, CLOWNS.
TEACHING THIS CLASS
IS ABOUT AS MUCH FUN
AS ROOT CANAL WORK.
I THOUGHT ALL THE
ROOTS TO YOUR CANAL
DRIED UP A LONG TIME AGO.
EPSTEIN, THAT STATEMENT
IS LIKE YOUR EXISTENCE.
IT HAS NO MEANING.
MR. WOODMAN.
ALLOW ME TO CLARIFY
LITTLE JUAN'S STATEMENT.
HIS REFERENCE TO YOUR
ROOTS AND YOUR CANALS
WAS MERELY HIS LITTLE
WAY OF SAYING YOU LOOK OLD.
AND DRIED UP.
SIT DOWN.
THIS IS WHAT I GET
FOR GIVING KOTTER
THE AFTERNOON OFF TO
TAKE HIS WIFE AND BABIES
HOME FROM THE HOSPITAL.
WHILE YOU'RE BEING MR. NICE GUY,
WHY DON'T YOU LET BARBARINO
BACK IN THIS CLASS, HUH?
WITH THE REST OF US GUYS?
WHEN BARBARINO
IMPROVES HIS GRADES,
I'LL LET HIM TAKE
THE MAKEUP TEST.
UNTIL THEN, HE
STAYS WHERE HE IS.
WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU,
YOU OUT OF GERITOL OR WHAT?
OH, WHY DIDN'T KOTTER
LET THOSE BABIES
TAKE A CAB HOME?
WAIT A MINUTE!
NOT BEFORE ME, FEEBS.
♪
YES, LOOK.
I KNOW THIS IS NOT
WHAT YOU'RE USED TO.
BUT IT'S GONNA
HAVE TO DO FOR NOW.
AND NO COMPLAINTS
OR DADDY WILL MAKE YOU
CHIP IN FOR THE RENT.
OKAY, ALL RIGHT.
JULIE, YOU OKAY?
YOU LOOK A LITTLE TIRED.
I AM TIRED, HONEY, I
DON'T KNOW WHY, THOUGH,
I HAD MY USUAL WEEK.
I DID THE LAUNDRY, I
PICKED UP THE CLEANING,
I GAVE BIRTH TO TWINS...
GO AHEAD, SIT DOWN.
OKAY, GIRLS.
NOW.
YOU EACH GOT YOUR OWN CRIBS.
WHEN I WAS YOUR AGE, I
DIDN'T HAVE MY OWN CRIB.
I WANT YOU TO FOLLOW THE RULES.
DON'T LET ANYBODY GET
NEAR YOUR SAFETY PINS
ON THE FIRST DATE.
BE HOME BY TEN EVERY NIGHT.
AND THERE'LL BE NO TROUBLE.
HONEY. YOU KNOW, WE CAN'T
PUT THIS OFF ANY LONGER.
WE HAVE BEEN ARGUING FOR MONTHS.
WHAT ARE WE GOING
TO NAME THE BABIES?
WELL, WHAT'S WRONG WITH
THIS ONE AND THAT ONE?
TOO COMMON.
COME ON, WE'VE GOT
TO AGREE ON SOMETHING
AND JUST DO IT.
WELL, YOU DIDN'T LIKE
MY LAST SUGGESTIONS.
ETHEL AND LUCY.
YEAH, THAT'S A GREAT IDEA,
AND THEN I'LL CALL YOU RICKY
AND YOU CAN CALL ME FRED!
LET'S JUST NAME ONE
AFTER YOUR MOTHER
AND ONE AFTER MY MOTHER.
NOW, THAT'S A GOOD IDEA.
OKAY, YOU CAN BE MRS. KOTTER,
AND YOU CAN BE MRS. HANSON.
WHAT'S WRONG WITH
RACHEL AND ROBIN?
THERE'S YOUR ANSWER.
WHAT'S THE MATTER?
WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU NOW?
LOOK AT DADDY.
LOOK AT SILLY DADDY.
OH, NO.
WHAT DO YOU WANT,
JULIE, WE HAD FIVE
UNINTERRUPTED MINUTES.
VINNIE.
I'M SURPRISED YOU
REMEMBERED MY NAME.
COME IN.
SO, THESE ARE THE BABIES, HUH?
THEY'RE CUTE.
YOU KNOW, BELIEVE IT
OR NOT, I WAS REALLY NOT
A VERY GOOD-LOOKING BABY.
I REALLY WASN'T.
I HAD THE KIND OF FACE
YOU HAD TO GROW INTO.
MAKES PERFECT SENSE.
YEAH, I MEAN, IT'S THE OLD
GROW INTO YOUR FACE SYNDROME.
THANKS FOR
COMPLIMENTING THE BABIES.
YEAH, WELL, THAT'S ENOUGH
TALK ABOUT YOUR BABIES,
I MEAN, THEY'RE BEAUTIFUL KIDS
AND EVERYTHING
WORKED OUT TERRIFIC
JUST LIKE I TOLD YOU
IT WOULD, DIDN'T I?
NICE DAY, THE SUN
IS SHINING RIGHT?
PEOPLE IN MONTANA TO MAKE MILK.
PEOPLE IN SWITZERLAND,
THEY'RE MAKING CHEESE,
WHICH IS VERY NICE.
PEOPLE IN PARIS ARE MAKIN' LOVE,
WHICH IS ALSO VERY NICE.
BUT NOBODY, NOBODY CARES
ABOUT VINNIE BARBARINO.
VINNIE.
IF YOU WERE
MAKING LOVE IN PARIS,
WOULD YOU BE CARING
ABOUT VINNIE BARBARINO?
WELL, YOU GOT A POINT THERE,
BUT THAT DON'T EXCUSE PEOPLE
IN MONTANA AND SWITZERLAND.
VINNIE, LISTEN.
I'LL TRY AND DO WHAT
I CAN WITH WOODMAN,
BUT YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO
LET US GET SETTLED FIRST, OKAY?
WE'LL SEE YOU LATER.
ALL RIGHT, LOOK, LOOK,
I'VE BEEN SELLING POINTS
ALL MY LIFE, RIGHT?
GOOD-BYE, BABIES.
GOOD-BYE, MRS. KOTTER.
BYE.
I HAVE TO MAKE WOODMAN
TO GIVE HIM THE MAKE-UP TEST.
HEY LOOK GIRLS, DADDY'S BACK.
LOOK AT DADDY.
(KNOCK ON DOOR)
GO AWAY!
NOBODY'S HOME!
LOOK, VINNIE, I TOLD YOU
I'LL DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.
NOW GO AWAY!
JULIE'S MOTHER AND FATHER, WOW!
COME ON IN.
COME ON IN, GOOD
TO SEE YOU, WOW.
I'M SORRY ABOUT WHAT
I SAID AT THE DOOR.
I THOUGHT YOU WERE
THE SWEATHOGS.
UH, THAT'S MY
STUDENTS, BARBARINO.
WHY DIDN'T YOU CALL AND
TELL US YOU WERE COMING?
DID YOU THINK WE'D LEAVE
OUR LITTLE GIRL ALONE
WITH TWO BRAND NEW BABIES?
I WAS NEVER KEEN ABOUT
LEAVING HER ALONE WITH YOU.
SO THESE ARE THE LITTLE ANGELS.
OH, LOOKIE THERE, MAMA.
THEY HAVE YOUR EYES.
AND YOUR NOSE, PAPA.
SEE ANY OF ME IN
THERE A LITTLE BIT, HUH?
YES, I DO, BUT LET'S HOPE
THEY'LL GROW OUT OF IT.
THEY'RE BEAUTIFUL CHILDREN!
I'M SO PROUD OF YOU.
YOU DID A WONDERFUL JOB.
OH, THANKS, BUT GABE HAD
A LITTLE TO DO WITH IT, TOO.
REALLY?
JUST NEEDLIN' YOU
GABE, JUST NEEDLIN' YA.
WELL, COME SIT DOWN.
WELL, WHAT'S
HAPPENING BACK HOME?
I DON'T KNOW.
WE'RE NOT THERE.
YEAH, I KNOW YOU'RE NOT THERE.
HOW WERE THINGS
WHEN YOU WERE THERE?
BIG CHANGES, JULIE.
BIG.
NOTHING EVER CHANGES
IN RURAL NEBRASKA.
THEY KNEW SOMETHING
EXCITING HAPPENED
LIKE THE ROOSTER OVERSLEPT.
OH, GOOD ONE, GABE.
BY GOLLY, I'M STARVED.
LET'S EAT.
I'M SORRY, BUT WE
WEREN'T PREPARED.
WELL, WE ARE.
HERE YOU GO.
GOOD OLD NEBRASKA PRODUCE.
THERE, FINEST CORN THERE IS.
JULIE, LOOK AT ALL THAT STUFF.
WOW, I'M GLAD YOU'RE
NOT A CATTLE RANCHER.
YET ANOTHER GOOD ONE, GABE.
COME ON, SON, GIVE
ME A HAND WITH THIS.
YES, SIR, WE SURE DID
BRING YOU THE VERY FINEST.
YES, THERE'S BABY
PEAS, YOUNG LIMA BEANS,
AND TENDER GOLDEN NIBLETS.
BABY PEAS, YOUNG LIMA BEANS,
AND TENDER GOLDEN NIBLETS.
HO-HO-HO.
ARE YOU ALL RIGHT, GABE?
OH, SURE, EVERYTHING'S
FINE IN THE VALLEY.
I GET IT, I GET IT,
HONEY, SIT DOWN.
OKAY.
- ♪ HELLO ♪
- ♪ HELLO ♪
♪ HELLO ♪
COME ON IN.
COME ON IN AND MEET MY PARENTS,
MR. AND MRS. HANSON,
THESE ARE GABE'S STUDENTS.
HOW YOU DOING?
HOW ARE YOU DOING, MISS LADY?
HOW DO YOU DO?
OH, AND HERE'S
THE LITTLE BABIES.
YES, THE INFANTS KOTTER.
WAIT A MINUTE.
THEY AIN'T INFANTS.
THEY TWINS.
OH, MR. KOTTER.
ARE THEY FRATERNAL OR IDENTICAL?
WELL, WHEN THEY GROW
UP WE'RE GONNA LET THEM
MAKE UP THEIR OWN MINDS.
SHH.
BYE, BABIES.
THEY SURE GROW 'EM
DIFFERENT OUT HERE.
ARE THEY STAYING
FOR DINNER, TOO?
NO!
WELL, THE EYES HAVE IT.
WE'RE GONNA DO LIKE
WE DO ON THE FARM.
IF YOU WANNA EAT,
YOU GOTTA HELP.
SO THAT MEANS YOU
GOT TO SHELL THE PEAS
AND YOU GOT TO FETCH
THE WATER AND YOU,
YOU GOTTA SHUCK THE CORN.
WELL, HOW ABOUT IF
HE SHUCKS THE WATER
AND I FETCH THE CORN?
YEAH, EPSTEIN WAS
ALWAYS BETTER AT FETCHING
THAN SHUCKING.
ARE YOU REALLY A FARMER?
I SURE AM.
I GOT A DOZEN GOATS
BACK ON THE FARM
THAT CALL ME "BOSS."
HAVE YOU EVER BEEN
TO A LOCUST PLAGUE?
JULIE, YOU KNOW, I
REALLY LIKE YOUR PARENTS,
BUT IT'S GONNA BE VERY
CROWDED AROUND HERE.
THEY'RE GONNA GO TO
A HOTEL, AREN'T THEY?
HOTEL?
I WOULDN'T THINK OF IT.
WE'RE ALL GONNA
PITCH IN TOGETHER,
WHY, THERE'S TOO MUCH
TO DO AROUND HERE.
FEEDIN' THE YOUNG
ONES, WRASTLIN' UP GRUB,
AND KEEPIN' THE CORN FRESH.
NOW I KNOW WHY JOHN
BOY LEFT THE WALTONS.
♪
THAT'S A REALLY GOOD ONE, GABE!
♪
♪
♪ OLD MCKOTTER
HAD A FARM, E-I-E-I-O ♪
♪ AND ON THIS
FARM HE HAD A COW ♪
♪ E-I-E-I-O ♪
♪ WITH A MOO-MOO HERE
AND A MOO-MOO THERE ♪
♪ MOO, MOO ♪♪
AHH!
WE'RE JUST TRYING TO
MAKE YOU FEEL AT HOME.
HOME.
HOME ALL WEEK HAS BEEN
A NEBRASKA STATE FAIR.
LOOK, GUYS.
YOU GOTTA HELP
ME. I GOT A PROBLEM.
OH, MR. KOTTER,
THIS IS WONDERFUL.
YOU COMING TO US FOR HELP.
FIRST, PASS YOUR
HOMEWORK TO THE LEFT.
ALL RIGHT, LISTEN.
MY IN-LAWS HAVE
BEEN AT MY HOUSE NOW
FOR FIVE DAYS.
I MEAN, I LIKE THEM,
THEY'RE NICE PEOPLE,
BUT I CAN'T DO ANYTHING.
I CAN'T GET NEAR MY BABIES.
I CAN'T GET NEAR MY WIFE.
I'M SLEEPING ON THE FIRE ESCAPE.
I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE.
IT'S DRIVING ME CRAZY.
OKAY, KOTTER, YOU GOT IT.
GOT WHAT?
DON'T WORRY. IT'LL
BE TAKEN CARE OF.
WE HAVE THIS
FRIEND IN THE BRONX.
HE OWES US A FAVOR.
I JUST WANT THEM TO LEAVE.
THEY WILL.
PERMANENTLY.
WILL YOU STOP KIDDIN' AROUND?
I JUST WANT TO GET
'EM OUT OF MY HOUSE
AND BACK TO NEBRASKA.
THEN MR. KOTTER,
YOU MUST BE KIND
AND GENTLE AND DIGNIFIED
AND TACTFULLY TELL 'EM
TO GET OUT.
I CAN'T DO THAT, ARNOLD,
THEY'RE MY WIFE'S PARENTS.
OH, COME ON,
MR. KOTTER, PRETEND...
PRETEND THAT I'M
YOUR FATHER-IN-LAW.
IT'S A LITTLE BIT OF
A STRETCH, ISN'T IT?
SHUCK THE CORN, GABE,
A-HYUCK, HYUCK, HYUCK!
TACTFULLY ASK THEM TO LEAVE?
ALL RIGHT.
MR. HANSON, I REALLY
APPRECIATE YOU AND MAMA
COMING OUT HERE,
I MEAN, TO HELP US
IN OUR TIME OF NEED.
BUT I THINK THAT JULIE
AND I ARE CAPABLE
OF HANDLING IT BY OURSELVES NOW.
SO WE'D REALLY LIKE TO
THANK YOU FOR COMING,
AND YOU CAN GO.
WOULDN'T THINK OF IT,
GABE, HYUCK, HYUCK, HYUCK.
YOU'RE RIGHT, IT'S
NOT GONNA WORK.
IT'S NOT.
HEY, MR. KOTTER, MAN, YOU
KNOW WHAT YOU DO, MAN?
YOU GOT TO GET DOWN WITH IT.
YOU KNOW WHAT I'M
TALKING ABOUT, MAN, I MEAN,
YOU GOT TO BE HIP.
YOU GOT BE CLEVER, I
MEAN, THEY AIN'T GONNA
EXPECT THAT FROM YOU.
- TRY IT.
- OKAY, JUST CHECK IT OUT.
JUST CHECK ME OUT, I'M
GONNA SHOW YOU HOW
IT'S SUPPOSED TO
BE DONE, ALL RIGHT.
THIS IS HOW YOU GOTTA
HANDLE IT WITH THEM PEOPLES.
ALL RIGHT, DADDY-IN-LAW
AND MOMMY-IN-LAW,
I WANT Y'ALL TO GO AWAY TODAY
'CAUSE ME AND MY OLD LADY
ARE GONNA PLAY, SO, YAY.
YOU DON'T SERIOUSLY
EXPECT ME TO DO THAT?
NO.
LOOKIE HERE, MR. KOTTER.
YOU JUST LISTEN TO
OLD JUAN EPSTEIN.
WHAT YOU GOTTA DO IS...
YOU GOTTA GO FOR
THE THROAT, SEE?
AND THEN... AND THEN YOU
DRIVE 'EM INTO THE GROUND, SEE?
AND THEN YOU MAKE 'EM EAT IT.
YOU SHOW NO MERCY!
AND IF THAT DON'T WORK,
YOU JUST GOTTA GET
ROUGH WITH THEM.
MAYBE YOU'RE RIGHT.
JUAN EPSTEIN'S ALWAYS RIGHT.
MAYBE I SHOULD GET TOUGH.
YOU LISTEN TO ME,
MR. COCK-A-DOODLE-DOO!
GO BACK TO NEBRASKA
AND FERTILIZE IT!
GET OUT OF BROOKLYN!
LEAVE ME, MY WIFE, MY BABIES,
'CAUSE THEY'RE MINE, NOT YOURS!
I DON'T WANT ANY
FARM-FRESH VEGETABLES.
I WANT FROZEN, I WANT CANNED,
I WANT... WAIT, WAIT, WAIT!
HEY, HEY, HEY, SAVE IT FOR
MA AND PA KETTLE, ALL RIGHT?
I'M SORRY.
I WENT AWAY FOR A
WHILE, BUT NOW I'M BACK.
COME ON, LET'S GO DO IT.
♪
ALL RIGHT, WHERE ARE THEY?
THEY'RE IN THE CRIBS.
THEY'RE IN T HE CRIBS?
I MEAN YOUR PARENTS,
WHERE ARE YOUR PARENTS?
THEY'RE ON THEIR
WAY TO THE AIRPORT.
WHY, THEY DON'T SELL
BROCCOLI AT THE AIRPORT.
'CAUSE THEY'RE GOING
BACK TO NEBRASKA.
WHY?
BECAUSE THEY LIVE THERE.
THEY LEFT?
HOW COME THEY DIDN'T
SAY GOOD-BYE TO ME?
OH, HONEY.
THEY WERE ON STANDBY
FOR THREE DAYS.
THEY FINALLY GOT A FLIGHT OUT.
THEY HAD TO TAKE IT.
- REALLY?
- YEAH.
HERE, THEY LEFT A NOTE FOR YOU.
"DEAR GABE, HOPE YOU
DON'T MIND THE IMPOSITION.
FOR A CITY BOY, YOU'RE NOT BAD.
THOUGHTFUL, GENEROUS,
AND THE BEST HUSBAND
WE COULD WISH FOR
OUR DAUGHTER, JULIE.
LOVE AND KISSES, MOM AND DAD."
THAT'S NICE.
YOU KNOW WHAT'S NICER?
I DON'T HAVE TO SLEEP
ON THE FIRE ESCAPE.
OH.
COMING, COMING, COMING.
COMING, COMING,
COMING, COMING, COMING.
OH-HO, YOU DID IT, HUH?
YOU DROVE THEM OUT OF HERE?
MISSION ACCOMPLISHED, HUH?
WELL, GUYS, MAN'S GOTTA
DO WHAT A MAN'S GOTTA DO.
THANKS FOR YOUR HELP.
WE REALLY WOULD LOVE
TO ASK YOU TO STAY,
BUT THE OLD MAN AND I
WOULD LIKE TO SPEND JUST
A LITTLE TIME ALONE, YOU
UNDERSTAND, DON'T YOU?
YEAH, BUT BEFORE WE
SPLIT, WE JUST WANT TO GIVE
THE BABIES THEIR PRESENTS.
YOU GOT THE BABIES PRE... YOU
DIDN'T HAVE TO DO THAT, GUYS.
I TOLD YA WE DIDN'T
HAVE TO DO THAT!
HI THERE.
HI, BABIES, HI, HEY.
WELCOME TO EARTH.
I'M UNCLE FREDDIE.
GOT YOU ALL A NICE LITTLE
PRESENT HERE AND I HOPE IT FITS.
FREDDIE.
FREDDIE, WHERE DID
YOU GET THESE HATS?
THEM HATS, THEY USED TO BELONG
TO MY BROTHER LEROY.
HAD 'EM EVER SINCE HE WAS BORN,
HE WAS A VERY FLASHY BABY.
SEE, HE USED TO WEAR
THIS ONE DURING THE WEEK,
AND THIS ONE WAS FOR SUNDAYS.
I, TOO, HAVE A LITTLIE
GIFT FOR THE LITTLE BABIES,
MRS. KOTTER.
THIS WAS MY ROCKING HORSE.
I THINK I COULD
PART WITH IT NOW.
THANK YOU, ARNOLD.
GOOD-BYE, PEPPER.
I GOT A LITTLE SOMETHING
HERE FROM OLD JUAN EPSTEIN.
HERE YOU ARE.
YEAH, YEAH, THIS
HERE'S MY SISTER'S OLD
TINY TIM DOLL.
BUT YOU GOTTA BE
CAREFUL, SEE, 'CAUSE
SHE DON'T CRY ANYMORE.
SHE JUST LEAKS.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH, JUAN.
THANK YOU GUYS, REALLY,
IT'S REALLY NICE OF YOU.
WELL, MT. KOTTER,
WE GONNA BE SPLITTIN',
SHOVIN' OFF, YOU
KNOW, CHECK Y'ALL OUT
LATER ON, BABIES.
MRS. KOTTER, BE COOL.
THANKS FOR THE PRESENTS, HUH?
DON'T DO ANYTHING FUNNY
IN FRONT OF THE BABIES.
BYE-BYE.
I DON'T BELIEVE IT,
WE'RE ALONE AT LEAST.
YEP. JUST THE FOUR OF US.
JUST THINK OF IT,
JULIE, A WHOLE NIGHT
WITH NOTHING TO DO
BUT FEED THE BABIES.
YEAH.
(KNOCK ON DOOR)
NO.
YOU DON'T THINK IT
COULD BE YOUR PARENTS...
I MEAN, THE FLIGHT COULDN'T
HAVE BEEN CANCELLED,
COULD IT, I MEAN, OVERBOOKED?
NEBRASKA'S NOT CLOSED
ON THURSDAYS, IS IT?
MR. WOODMAN.
MR. WOODMAN, WHAT
ARE YOU DOING HERE?
I JUST CAME BY TO
OFFER MY CONDOLENCES
TO YOUR DAUGHTERS
ON THEIR CHOICE OF...
ON THEIR CHOICE OF FATHER.
I BROUGHT YOU THIS.
OH, THANKS, YOU
DIDN'T HAVE TO DO THAT.
I KNOW, I'M JUST AN OLD SOFTIE.
YOU DON'T HAVE TO OPEN IT
NOW, IT'S JUST A LITTLE SOMETHING
I PICKED UP LAST WINTER AT A
VICE PRINCIPALS CONVENTION.
SO THESE ARE THE BABIES.
NO, NO, THAT'S THE
LAUNDRY, THE BABIES ARE IN
THE HAMPER.
HIYA, BABIES.
GOO-GOO-GOO.
I LOVE BABIES,
KOTTER, JUST LOVE 'EM.
CAN I PICK ONE UP, JULIE?
DO YOU KNOW HOW?
OF COURSE, I NEVER
TOLD YOU THIS,
BUT DURING THE SECOND WORLD WAR,
I WAS A NURSE'S AIDE.
OKAY, MR. WOODMAN.
HERE WE GO, BUT BE VERY CAREFUL.
HERE'S UNCLE WOODY.
I LOVE BABIES, KOTTER.
JUST LOVE 'EM.
♪
MR. WOODMAN, THANKS FOR
THE GIFTS YOU GAVE THE BABIES.
THAT REALLY WASN'T NECESSARY.
WHY NOT, KOTTER?
I'M A CLASSY GUY.
HEY, WOULD YOU LIKE TO
BE A REALLY CLASSY GUY
AND GIVE THEIR
FATHER A PRESENT, TOO?
YOU WANT A PUKA
SHELL RATTLE, TOO?
NO, I'D LIKE YOU TO GIVE
VINNIE A MAKE-UP TEST.
ALL RIGHT, BUT IF HE
FAILS BY ONE POINT,
HE STAYS IN THE TENTH GRADE.
THANKS A LOT, MR. WOODMAN,
I REALLY APPRECIATE IT.
HEY, DID I EVER TELL
YA ABOUT MY UNCLE
WHO SPENT THREE YEARS
IN THE TENTH GRADE?
KOTTER.
I'LL BUY GIFTS FOR YOUR BABIES.
I'LL EVEN LET BARBARINO
TAKE A MAKE-UP TEST.
BUT I WILL NOT,
ABSOLUTELY NOT LISTEN
TO ONE OF YOUR UNCLE JOKES.
♪
♪
♪ WELCOME BACK ♪
♪ YOUR DREAMS WERE
YOUR TICKET OUT ♪
♪ WELCOME BACK ♪
♪ TO THAT SAME OLD PLACE
THAT YOU LAUGHED ABOUT ♪
♪ WELL THE NAMES
HAVE ALL CHANGED
SINCE YOU HUNG AROUND ♪
♪ BUT THOSE DREAMS HAVE REMAINED
AND THEY'VE TURNED AROUND ♪
♪ WHO'D HAVE THOUGHT
THEY'D LEAD YOU ♪
♪ WHO'D HAVE THOUGHT
THEY'D LEAD YOU ♪
♪ BACK HERE WHERE WE NEED YA ♪
♪ BACK HERE WHERE WE NEED YA ♪
♪ YEAH WE TEASE HIM A LOT
'CAUSE WE GOT HIM ON THE SPOT ♪
♪ WELCOME BACK ♪
♪ WELCOME BACK, WELCOME
BACK, WELCOME BACK ♪
♪ WELCOME BACK, WELCOME BACK ♪
♪ WELCOME BACK ♪♪
WHY ARE YOU BENDING DOWN?
DO YOU WANT THE BABY TO BE BORN
WITH A BAD BACK?
HEY, VINNIE. VINNIE, VINNIE.
NOW, COME ON, YOU
DON'T WANT TO BE LATE
ON THE FIRST DAY OF
SCHOOL, NOW, DO YOU?
I CAN'T GO IN THERE,
I GOT LEFT BACK.
NOW, HEAR THIS.
ALL HANDS ON DECK.
NOTIFY MR. KOTTER HIS
WIFE IS HAVING A BABY.
BOUNCING BABIES.
TWINS?
GIRLS. GIRLS, GABE!
TWINS.
THE MOTHER AND
DAUGHTERS ARE DOING FINE.
♪
♪ WELCOME BACK ♪
♪ YOUR DREAMS WERE
YOUR TICKET OUT ♪
♪ WELCOME BACK ♪
♪ TO THAT SAME OLD PLACE
THAT YOU LAUGHED ABOUT ♪
♪ WELL THE NAMES
HAVE ALL CHANGED
SINCE YOU HUNG AROUND ♪
♪ BUT THOSE DREAMS HAVE REMAINED
AND THEY'VE TURNED AROUND ♪
♪ WHO'D HAVE THOUGHT
THEY'D LEAD YA ♪
♪ WHO'D HAVE THOUGHT
THEY'D LEAD YA ♪
♪ BACK HERE WHERE WE NEED YA ♪
♪ BACK HERE WHERE WE NEED YA ♪
♪ YEAH, WE TEASE HIM A LOT ♪
♪ 'CAUSE WE GOT
HIM ON THE SPOT ♪
♪ WELCOME BACK ♪
♪ WELCOME BACK, WELCOME
BACK, WELCOME BACK ♪♪
♪
NOW THAT'S THE DULLEST
STORY I EVER HEARD.
DULL?
IT WAS BORING!
YOU KNOW, YOU SHOULD
BE CHARGED WITH P.D.
PREMEDITATED DULLNESS.
ALL RIGHT, CORK IT, CLOWNS.
TEACHING THIS CLASS
IS ABOUT AS MUCH FUN
AS ROOT CANAL WORK.
I THOUGHT ALL THE
ROOTS TO YOUR CANAL
DRIED UP A LONG TIME AGO.
EPSTEIN, THAT STATEMENT
IS LIKE YOUR EXISTENCE.
IT HAS NO MEANING.
MR. WOODMAN.
ALLOW ME TO CLARIFY
LITTLE JUAN'S STATEMENT.
HIS REFERENCE TO YOUR
ROOTS AND YOUR CANALS
WAS MERELY HIS LITTLE
WAY OF SAYING YOU LOOK OLD.
AND DRIED UP.
SIT DOWN.
THIS IS WHAT I GET
FOR GIVING KOTTER
THE AFTERNOON OFF TO
TAKE HIS WIFE AND BABIES
HOME FROM THE HOSPITAL.
WHILE YOU'RE BEING MR. NICE GUY,
WHY DON'T YOU LET BARBARINO
BACK IN THIS CLASS, HUH?
WITH THE REST OF US GUYS?
WHEN BARBARINO
IMPROVES HIS GRADES,
I'LL LET HIM TAKE
THE MAKEUP TEST.
UNTIL THEN, HE
STAYS WHERE HE IS.
WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU,
YOU OUT OF GERITOL OR WHAT?
OH, WHY DIDN'T KOTTER
LET THOSE BABIES
TAKE A CAB HOME?
WAIT A MINUTE!
NOT BEFORE ME, FEEBS.
♪
YES, LOOK.
I KNOW THIS IS NOT
WHAT YOU'RE USED TO.
BUT IT'S GONNA
HAVE TO DO FOR NOW.
AND NO COMPLAINTS
OR DADDY WILL MAKE YOU
CHIP IN FOR THE RENT.
OKAY, ALL RIGHT.
JULIE, YOU OKAY?
YOU LOOK A LITTLE TIRED.
I AM TIRED, HONEY, I
DON'T KNOW WHY, THOUGH,
I HAD MY USUAL WEEK.
I DID THE LAUNDRY, I
PICKED UP THE CLEANING,
I GAVE BIRTH TO TWINS...
GO AHEAD, SIT DOWN.
OKAY, GIRLS.
NOW.
YOU EACH GOT YOUR OWN CRIBS.
WHEN I WAS YOUR AGE, I
DIDN'T HAVE MY OWN CRIB.
I WANT YOU TO FOLLOW THE RULES.
DON'T LET ANYBODY GET
NEAR YOUR SAFETY PINS
ON THE FIRST DATE.
BE HOME BY TEN EVERY NIGHT.
AND THERE'LL BE NO TROUBLE.
HONEY. YOU KNOW, WE CAN'T
PUT THIS OFF ANY LONGER.
WE HAVE BEEN ARGUING FOR MONTHS.
WHAT ARE WE GOING
TO NAME THE BABIES?
WELL, WHAT'S WRONG WITH
THIS ONE AND THAT ONE?
TOO COMMON.
COME ON, WE'VE GOT
TO AGREE ON SOMETHING
AND JUST DO IT.
WELL, YOU DIDN'T LIKE
MY LAST SUGGESTIONS.
ETHEL AND LUCY.
YEAH, THAT'S A GREAT IDEA,
AND THEN I'LL CALL YOU RICKY
AND YOU CAN CALL ME FRED!
LET'S JUST NAME ONE
AFTER YOUR MOTHER
AND ONE AFTER MY MOTHER.
NOW, THAT'S A GOOD IDEA.
OKAY, YOU CAN BE MRS. KOTTER,
AND YOU CAN BE MRS. HANSON.
WHAT'S WRONG WITH
RACHEL AND ROBIN?
THERE'S YOUR ANSWER.
WHAT'S THE MATTER?
WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU NOW?
LOOK AT DADDY.
LOOK AT SILLY DADDY.
OH, NO.
WHAT DO YOU WANT,
JULIE, WE HAD FIVE
UNINTERRUPTED MINUTES.
VINNIE.
I'M SURPRISED YOU
REMEMBERED MY NAME.
COME IN.
SO, THESE ARE THE BABIES, HUH?
THEY'RE CUTE.
YOU KNOW, BELIEVE IT
OR NOT, I WAS REALLY NOT
A VERY GOOD-LOOKING BABY.
I REALLY WASN'T.
I HAD THE KIND OF FACE
YOU HAD TO GROW INTO.
MAKES PERFECT SENSE.
YEAH, I MEAN, IT'S THE OLD
GROW INTO YOUR FACE SYNDROME.
THANKS FOR
COMPLIMENTING THE BABIES.
YEAH, WELL, THAT'S ENOUGH
TALK ABOUT YOUR BABIES,
I MEAN, THEY'RE BEAUTIFUL KIDS
AND EVERYTHING
WORKED OUT TERRIFIC
JUST LIKE I TOLD YOU
IT WOULD, DIDN'T I?
NICE DAY, THE SUN
IS SHINING RIGHT?
PEOPLE IN MONTANA TO MAKE MILK.
PEOPLE IN SWITZERLAND,
THEY'RE MAKING CHEESE,
WHICH IS VERY NICE.
PEOPLE IN PARIS ARE MAKIN' LOVE,
WHICH IS ALSO VERY NICE.
BUT NOBODY, NOBODY CARES
ABOUT VINNIE BARBARINO.
VINNIE.
IF YOU WERE
MAKING LOVE IN PARIS,
WOULD YOU BE CARING
ABOUT VINNIE BARBARINO?
WELL, YOU GOT A POINT THERE,
BUT THAT DON'T EXCUSE PEOPLE
IN MONTANA AND SWITZERLAND.
VINNIE, LISTEN.
I'LL TRY AND DO WHAT
I CAN WITH WOODMAN,
BUT YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO
LET US GET SETTLED FIRST, OKAY?
WE'LL SEE YOU LATER.
ALL RIGHT, LOOK, LOOK,
I'VE BEEN SELLING POINTS
ALL MY LIFE, RIGHT?
GOOD-BYE, BABIES.
GOOD-BYE, MRS. KOTTER.
BYE.
I HAVE TO MAKE WOODMAN
TO GIVE HIM THE MAKE-UP TEST.
HEY LOOK GIRLS, DADDY'S BACK.
LOOK AT DADDY.
(KNOCK ON DOOR)
GO AWAY!
NOBODY'S HOME!
LOOK, VINNIE, I TOLD YOU
I'LL DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.
NOW GO AWAY!
JULIE'S MOTHER AND FATHER, WOW!
COME ON IN.
COME ON IN, GOOD
TO SEE YOU, WOW.
I'M SORRY ABOUT WHAT
I SAID AT THE DOOR.
I THOUGHT YOU WERE
THE SWEATHOGS.
UH, THAT'S MY
STUDENTS, BARBARINO.
WHY DIDN'T YOU CALL AND
TELL US YOU WERE COMING?
DID YOU THINK WE'D LEAVE
OUR LITTLE GIRL ALONE
WITH TWO BRAND NEW BABIES?
I WAS NEVER KEEN ABOUT
LEAVING HER ALONE WITH YOU.
SO THESE ARE THE LITTLE ANGELS.
OH, LOOKIE THERE, MAMA.
THEY HAVE YOUR EYES.
AND YOUR NOSE, PAPA.
SEE ANY OF ME IN
THERE A LITTLE BIT, HUH?
YES, I DO, BUT LET'S HOPE
THEY'LL GROW OUT OF IT.
THEY'RE BEAUTIFUL CHILDREN!
I'M SO PROUD OF YOU.
YOU DID A WONDERFUL JOB.
OH, THANKS, BUT GABE HAD
A LITTLE TO DO WITH IT, TOO.
REALLY?
JUST NEEDLIN' YOU
GABE, JUST NEEDLIN' YA.
WELL, COME SIT DOWN.
WELL, WHAT'S
HAPPENING BACK HOME?
I DON'T KNOW.
WE'RE NOT THERE.
YEAH, I KNOW YOU'RE NOT THERE.
HOW WERE THINGS
WHEN YOU WERE THERE?
BIG CHANGES, JULIE.
BIG.
NOTHING EVER CHANGES
IN RURAL NEBRASKA.
THEY KNEW SOMETHING
EXCITING HAPPENED
LIKE THE ROOSTER OVERSLEPT.
OH, GOOD ONE, GABE.
BY GOLLY, I'M STARVED.
LET'S EAT.
I'M SORRY, BUT WE
WEREN'T PREPARED.
WELL, WE ARE.
HERE YOU GO.
GOOD OLD NEBRASKA PRODUCE.
THERE, FINEST CORN THERE IS.
JULIE, LOOK AT ALL THAT STUFF.
WOW, I'M GLAD YOU'RE
NOT A CATTLE RANCHER.
YET ANOTHER GOOD ONE, GABE.
COME ON, SON, GIVE
ME A HAND WITH THIS.
YES, SIR, WE SURE DID
BRING YOU THE VERY FINEST.
YES, THERE'S BABY
PEAS, YOUNG LIMA BEANS,
AND TENDER GOLDEN NIBLETS.
BABY PEAS, YOUNG LIMA BEANS,
AND TENDER GOLDEN NIBLETS.
HO-HO-HO.
ARE YOU ALL RIGHT, GABE?
OH, SURE, EVERYTHING'S
FINE IN THE VALLEY.
I GET IT, I GET IT,
HONEY, SIT DOWN.
OKAY.
- ♪ HELLO ♪
- ♪ HELLO ♪
♪ HELLO ♪
COME ON IN.
COME ON IN AND MEET MY PARENTS,
MR. AND MRS. HANSON,
THESE ARE GABE'S STUDENTS.
HOW YOU DOING?
HOW ARE YOU DOING, MISS LADY?
HOW DO YOU DO?
OH, AND HERE'S
THE LITTLE BABIES.
YES, THE INFANTS KOTTER.
WAIT A MINUTE.
THEY AIN'T INFANTS.
THEY TWINS.
OH, MR. KOTTER.
ARE THEY FRATERNAL OR IDENTICAL?
WELL, WHEN THEY GROW
UP WE'RE GONNA LET THEM
MAKE UP THEIR OWN MINDS.
SHH.
BYE, BABIES.
THEY SURE GROW 'EM
DIFFERENT OUT HERE.
ARE THEY STAYING
FOR DINNER, TOO?
NO!
WELL, THE EYES HAVE IT.
WE'RE GONNA DO LIKE
WE DO ON THE FARM.
IF YOU WANNA EAT,
YOU GOTTA HELP.
SO THAT MEANS YOU
GOT TO SHELL THE PEAS
AND YOU GOT TO FETCH
THE WATER AND YOU,
YOU GOTTA SHUCK THE CORN.
WELL, HOW ABOUT IF
HE SHUCKS THE WATER
AND I FETCH THE CORN?
YEAH, EPSTEIN WAS
ALWAYS BETTER AT FETCHING
THAN SHUCKING.
ARE YOU REALLY A FARMER?
I SURE AM.
I GOT A DOZEN GOATS
BACK ON THE FARM
THAT CALL ME "BOSS."
HAVE YOU EVER BEEN
TO A LOCUST PLAGUE?
JULIE, YOU KNOW, I
REALLY LIKE YOUR PARENTS,
BUT IT'S GONNA BE VERY
CROWDED AROUND HERE.
THEY'RE GONNA GO TO
A HOTEL, AREN'T THEY?
HOTEL?
I WOULDN'T THINK OF IT.
WE'RE ALL GONNA
PITCH IN TOGETHER,
WHY, THERE'S TOO MUCH
TO DO AROUND HERE.
FEEDIN' THE YOUNG
ONES, WRASTLIN' UP GRUB,
AND KEEPIN' THE CORN FRESH.
NOW I KNOW WHY JOHN
BOY LEFT THE WALTONS.
♪
THAT'S A REALLY GOOD ONE, GABE!
♪
♪
♪ OLD MCKOTTER
HAD A FARM, E-I-E-I-O ♪
♪ AND ON THIS
FARM HE HAD A COW ♪
♪ E-I-E-I-O ♪
♪ WITH A MOO-MOO HERE
AND A MOO-MOO THERE ♪
♪ MOO, MOO ♪♪
AHH!
WE'RE JUST TRYING TO
MAKE YOU FEEL AT HOME.
HOME.
HOME ALL WEEK HAS BEEN
A NEBRASKA STATE FAIR.
LOOK, GUYS.
YOU GOTTA HELP
ME. I GOT A PROBLEM.
OH, MR. KOTTER,
THIS IS WONDERFUL.
YOU COMING TO US FOR HELP.
FIRST, PASS YOUR
HOMEWORK TO THE LEFT.
ALL RIGHT, LISTEN.
MY IN-LAWS HAVE
BEEN AT MY HOUSE NOW
FOR FIVE DAYS.
I MEAN, I LIKE THEM,
THEY'RE NICE PEOPLE,
BUT I CAN'T DO ANYTHING.
I CAN'T GET NEAR MY BABIES.
I CAN'T GET NEAR MY WIFE.
I'M SLEEPING ON THE FIRE ESCAPE.
I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE.
IT'S DRIVING ME CRAZY.
OKAY, KOTTER, YOU GOT IT.
GOT WHAT?
DON'T WORRY. IT'LL
BE TAKEN CARE OF.
WE HAVE THIS
FRIEND IN THE BRONX.
HE OWES US A FAVOR.
I JUST WANT THEM TO LEAVE.
THEY WILL.
PERMANENTLY.
WILL YOU STOP KIDDIN' AROUND?
I JUST WANT TO GET
'EM OUT OF MY HOUSE
AND BACK TO NEBRASKA.
THEN MR. KOTTER,
YOU MUST BE KIND
AND GENTLE AND DIGNIFIED
AND TACTFULLY TELL 'EM
TO GET OUT.
I CAN'T DO THAT, ARNOLD,
THEY'RE MY WIFE'S PARENTS.
OH, COME ON,
MR. KOTTER, PRETEND...
PRETEND THAT I'M
YOUR FATHER-IN-LAW.
IT'S A LITTLE BIT OF
A STRETCH, ISN'T IT?
SHUCK THE CORN, GABE,
A-HYUCK, HYUCK, HYUCK!
TACTFULLY ASK THEM TO LEAVE?
ALL RIGHT.
MR. HANSON, I REALLY
APPRECIATE YOU AND MAMA
COMING OUT HERE,
I MEAN, TO HELP US
IN OUR TIME OF NEED.
BUT I THINK THAT JULIE
AND I ARE CAPABLE
OF HANDLING IT BY OURSELVES NOW.
SO WE'D REALLY LIKE TO
THANK YOU FOR COMING,
AND YOU CAN GO.
WOULDN'T THINK OF IT,
GABE, HYUCK, HYUCK, HYUCK.
YOU'RE RIGHT, IT'S
NOT GONNA WORK.
IT'S NOT.
HEY, MR. KOTTER, MAN, YOU
KNOW WHAT YOU DO, MAN?
YOU GOT TO GET DOWN WITH IT.
YOU KNOW WHAT I'M
TALKING ABOUT, MAN, I MEAN,
YOU GOT TO BE HIP.
YOU GOT BE CLEVER, I
MEAN, THEY AIN'T GONNA
EXPECT THAT FROM YOU.
- TRY IT.
- OKAY, JUST CHECK IT OUT.
JUST CHECK ME OUT, I'M
GONNA SHOW YOU HOW
IT'S SUPPOSED TO
BE DONE, ALL RIGHT.
THIS IS HOW YOU GOTTA
HANDLE IT WITH THEM PEOPLES.
ALL RIGHT, DADDY-IN-LAW
AND MOMMY-IN-LAW,
I WANT Y'ALL TO GO AWAY TODAY
'CAUSE ME AND MY OLD LADY
ARE GONNA PLAY, SO, YAY.
YOU DON'T SERIOUSLY
EXPECT ME TO DO THAT?
NO.
LOOKIE HERE, MR. KOTTER.
YOU JUST LISTEN TO
OLD JUAN EPSTEIN.
WHAT YOU GOTTA DO IS...
YOU GOTTA GO FOR
THE THROAT, SEE?
AND THEN... AND THEN YOU
DRIVE 'EM INTO THE GROUND, SEE?
AND THEN YOU MAKE 'EM EAT IT.
YOU SHOW NO MERCY!
AND IF THAT DON'T WORK,
YOU JUST GOTTA GET
ROUGH WITH THEM.
MAYBE YOU'RE RIGHT.
JUAN EPSTEIN'S ALWAYS RIGHT.
MAYBE I SHOULD GET TOUGH.
YOU LISTEN TO ME,
MR. COCK-A-DOODLE-DOO!
GO BACK TO NEBRASKA
AND FERTILIZE IT!
GET OUT OF BROOKLYN!
LEAVE ME, MY WIFE, MY BABIES,
'CAUSE THEY'RE MINE, NOT YOURS!
I DON'T WANT ANY
FARM-FRESH VEGETABLES.
I WANT FROZEN, I WANT CANNED,
I WANT... WAIT, WAIT, WAIT!
HEY, HEY, HEY, SAVE IT FOR
MA AND PA KETTLE, ALL RIGHT?
I'M SORRY.
I WENT AWAY FOR A
WHILE, BUT NOW I'M BACK.
COME ON, LET'S GO DO IT.
♪
ALL RIGHT, WHERE ARE THEY?
THEY'RE IN THE CRIBS.
THEY'RE IN T HE CRIBS?
I MEAN YOUR PARENTS,
WHERE ARE YOUR PARENTS?
THEY'RE ON THEIR
WAY TO THE AIRPORT.
WHY, THEY DON'T SELL
BROCCOLI AT THE AIRPORT.
'CAUSE THEY'RE GOING
BACK TO NEBRASKA.
WHY?
BECAUSE THEY LIVE THERE.
THEY LEFT?
HOW COME THEY DIDN'T
SAY GOOD-BYE TO ME?
OH, HONEY.
THEY WERE ON STANDBY
FOR THREE DAYS.
THEY FINALLY GOT A FLIGHT OUT.
THEY HAD TO TAKE IT.
- REALLY?
- YEAH.
HERE, THEY LEFT A NOTE FOR YOU.
"DEAR GABE, HOPE YOU
DON'T MIND THE IMPOSITION.
FOR A CITY BOY, YOU'RE NOT BAD.
THOUGHTFUL, GENEROUS,
AND THE BEST HUSBAND
WE COULD WISH FOR
OUR DAUGHTER, JULIE.
LOVE AND KISSES, MOM AND DAD."
THAT'S NICE.
YOU KNOW WHAT'S NICER?
I DON'T HAVE TO SLEEP
ON THE FIRE ESCAPE.
OH.
COMING, COMING, COMING.
COMING, COMING,
COMING, COMING, COMING.
OH-HO, YOU DID IT, HUH?
YOU DROVE THEM OUT OF HERE?
MISSION ACCOMPLISHED, HUH?
WELL, GUYS, MAN'S GOTTA
DO WHAT A MAN'S GOTTA DO.
THANKS FOR YOUR HELP.
WE REALLY WOULD LOVE
TO ASK YOU TO STAY,
BUT THE OLD MAN AND I
WOULD LIKE TO SPEND JUST
A LITTLE TIME ALONE, YOU
UNDERSTAND, DON'T YOU?
YEAH, BUT BEFORE WE
SPLIT, WE JUST WANT TO GIVE
THE BABIES THEIR PRESENTS.
YOU GOT THE BABIES PRE... YOU
DIDN'T HAVE TO DO THAT, GUYS.
I TOLD YA WE DIDN'T
HAVE TO DO THAT!
HI THERE.
HI, BABIES, HI, HEY.
WELCOME TO EARTH.
I'M UNCLE FREDDIE.
GOT YOU ALL A NICE LITTLE
PRESENT HERE AND I HOPE IT FITS.
FREDDIE.
FREDDIE, WHERE DID
YOU GET THESE HATS?
THEM HATS, THEY USED TO BELONG
TO MY BROTHER LEROY.
HAD 'EM EVER SINCE HE WAS BORN,
HE WAS A VERY FLASHY BABY.
SEE, HE USED TO WEAR
THIS ONE DURING THE WEEK,
AND THIS ONE WAS FOR SUNDAYS.
I, TOO, HAVE A LITTLIE
GIFT FOR THE LITTLE BABIES,
MRS. KOTTER.
THIS WAS MY ROCKING HORSE.
I THINK I COULD
PART WITH IT NOW.
THANK YOU, ARNOLD.
GOOD-BYE, PEPPER.
I GOT A LITTLE SOMETHING
HERE FROM OLD JUAN EPSTEIN.
HERE YOU ARE.
YEAH, YEAH, THIS
HERE'S MY SISTER'S OLD
TINY TIM DOLL.
BUT YOU GOTTA BE
CAREFUL, SEE, 'CAUSE
SHE DON'T CRY ANYMORE.
SHE JUST LEAKS.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH, JUAN.
THANK YOU GUYS, REALLY,
IT'S REALLY NICE OF YOU.
WELL, MT. KOTTER,
WE GONNA BE SPLITTIN',
SHOVIN' OFF, YOU
KNOW, CHECK Y'ALL OUT
LATER ON, BABIES.
MRS. KOTTER, BE COOL.
THANKS FOR THE PRESENTS, HUH?
DON'T DO ANYTHING FUNNY
IN FRONT OF THE BABIES.
BYE-BYE.
I DON'T BELIEVE IT,
WE'RE ALONE AT LEAST.
YEP. JUST THE FOUR OF US.
JUST THINK OF IT,
JULIE, A WHOLE NIGHT
WITH NOTHING TO DO
BUT FEED THE BABIES.
YEAH.
(KNOCK ON DOOR)
NO.
YOU DON'T THINK IT
COULD BE YOUR PARENTS...
I MEAN, THE FLIGHT COULDN'T
HAVE BEEN CANCELLED,
COULD IT, I MEAN, OVERBOOKED?
NEBRASKA'S NOT CLOSED
ON THURSDAYS, IS IT?
MR. WOODMAN.
MR. WOODMAN, WHAT
ARE YOU DOING HERE?
I JUST CAME BY TO
OFFER MY CONDOLENCES
TO YOUR DAUGHTERS
ON THEIR CHOICE OF...
ON THEIR CHOICE OF FATHER.
I BROUGHT YOU THIS.
OH, THANKS, YOU
DIDN'T HAVE TO DO THAT.
I KNOW, I'M JUST AN OLD SOFTIE.
YOU DON'T HAVE TO OPEN IT
NOW, IT'S JUST A LITTLE SOMETHING
I PICKED UP LAST WINTER AT A
VICE PRINCIPALS CONVENTION.
SO THESE ARE THE BABIES.
NO, NO, THAT'S THE
LAUNDRY, THE BABIES ARE IN
THE HAMPER.
HIYA, BABIES.
GOO-GOO-GOO.
I LOVE BABIES,
KOTTER, JUST LOVE 'EM.
CAN I PICK ONE UP, JULIE?
DO YOU KNOW HOW?
OF COURSE, I NEVER
TOLD YOU THIS,
BUT DURING THE SECOND WORLD WAR,
I WAS A NURSE'S AIDE.
OKAY, MR. WOODMAN.
HERE WE GO, BUT BE VERY CAREFUL.
HERE'S UNCLE WOODY.
I LOVE BABIES, KOTTER.
JUST LOVE 'EM.
♪
MR. WOODMAN, THANKS FOR
THE GIFTS YOU GAVE THE BABIES.
THAT REALLY WASN'T NECESSARY.
WHY NOT, KOTTER?
I'M A CLASSY GUY.
HEY, WOULD YOU LIKE TO
BE A REALLY CLASSY GUY
AND GIVE THEIR
FATHER A PRESENT, TOO?
YOU WANT A PUKA
SHELL RATTLE, TOO?
NO, I'D LIKE YOU TO GIVE
VINNIE A MAKE-UP TEST.
ALL RIGHT, BUT IF HE
FAILS BY ONE POINT,
HE STAYS IN THE TENTH GRADE.
THANKS A LOT, MR. WOODMAN,
I REALLY APPRECIATE IT.
HEY, DID I EVER TELL
YA ABOUT MY UNCLE
WHO SPENT THREE YEARS
IN THE TENTH GRADE?
KOTTER.
I'LL BUY GIFTS FOR YOUR BABIES.
I'LL EVEN LET BARBARINO
TAKE A MAKE-UP TEST.
BUT I WILL NOT,
ABSOLUTELY NOT LISTEN
TO ONE OF YOUR UNCLE JOKES.
♪
♪
♪ WELCOME BACK ♪
♪ YOUR DREAMS WERE
YOUR TICKET OUT ♪
♪ WELCOME BACK ♪
♪ TO THAT SAME OLD PLACE
THAT YOU LAUGHED ABOUT ♪
♪ WELL THE NAMES
HAVE ALL CHANGED
SINCE YOU HUNG AROUND ♪
♪ BUT THOSE DREAMS HAVE REMAINED
AND THEY'VE TURNED AROUND ♪
♪ WHO'D HAVE THOUGHT
THEY'D LEAD YOU ♪
♪ WHO'D HAVE THOUGHT
THEY'D LEAD YOU ♪
♪ BACK HERE WHERE WE NEED YA ♪
♪ BACK HERE WHERE WE NEED YA ♪
♪ YEAH WE TEASE HIM A LOT
'CAUSE WE GOT HIM ON THE SPOT ♪
♪ WELCOME BACK ♪
♪ WELCOME BACK, WELCOME
BACK, WELCOME BACK ♪
♪ WELCOME BACK, WELCOME BACK ♪
♪ WELCOME BACK ♪♪