Welcome Back, Kotter (1975–1979): Season 3, Episode 3 - And Baby Makes Four: Part 2 - full transcript

ON THE LAST EPISODE OF
"WELCOME BACK, KOTTER"

OKAY, YOUR CONTRACTIONS
START, YOU TIME THEM.

WHEN THEY'RE FOUR
MINUTES APART YOU CALL ME.

UH-HUH.

IF YOUR WATER BREAKS,
DON'T TOUCH THE TOASTER.

HEYA, VINNIE, VINNIE, VINNIE!

NOW, COME ON, YOU DON'T WANNA
BE LATE ON THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL

NOW DO YOU?

I CAN'T GO IN THERE,
I GOT LEFT BACK.

VINNIE, VINNIE, THAT'S NOT
WHY I'M GOING TO THE HOSPITAL!

WHY NOT?



HAVEN'T YOU NOTICED THAT I'VE...
PUT ON A LITTLE WEIGHT LATELY?

YEAH, THAT'S ON
ACCOUNT OF, YOU KNOW?

YEAH.

YOU'RE READY TO
DO THAT RIGHT NOW?

YEAH.

NOW HERE THIS, ALL HANDS
ON DECK, NOTIFY THE KOTTER

HIS WIFE IS HAVING A BABY.



♪ WELCOME BACK ♪

♪ YOUR DREAMS WERE
YOUR TICKET OUT ♪

♪ WELCOME BACK ♪

♪ TO THAT SAME OLD PLACE
THAT YOU LAUGHED ABOUT ♪

♪ WELL THE NAMES
HAVE ALL CHANGED

SINCE YOU HUNG AROUND ♪



♪ BUT THOSE DREAMS HAVE REMAINED

AND THEY'VE TURNED AROUND ♪

♪ WHO'D HAVE THOUGHT
THEY'D LEAD YA ♪

♪ WHO'D HAVE THOUGHT
THEY'D LEAD YA ♪

♪ BACK HERE WHERE WE NEED YA ♪

♪ BACK HERE WHERE WE NEED YA ♪

♪ YEAH, WE TEASE HIM A LOT

'CAUSE WE GOT HIM ON THE SPOT ♪

♪ WELCOME BACK ♪

♪ WELCOME BACK, WELCOME
BACK, WELCOME BACK ♪♪



NOW, LOOK, NOW YOU DON'T
WORRY ABOUT NOTHING, ALL RIGHT?

I'M GONNA TAKE CARE
OF EVERYTHING HERE,

YOU JUST GO HAVE YOUR
BABY AND RELAX, ALL RIGHT?

OKAY, THANKS, VINNIE.

NAME?

VINNIE BARBARINO.

BARBARINO, VINNIE...
AND THE MOTHER'S NAME?

THE MOTHER'S NAME?

UH, MARIA THERESA
ANGELINA BARBARINO.

AND HER AGE?

OH, SHE'LL SAY 38, BUT
YOU BETTER PUT DOWN 40,

ALL RIGHT?

OKAY, AND UH, WHAT
MONTH IS THIS FOR HER?

WHAT MONTH IS THIS FOR HER?

THE SAME MONTH THAT
IT IS FOR YOU AND ME.

NO-NO-NO-NO-NO-NO, I
MEAN, HOW MANY MONTHS

HAS MOTHER BEEN PREGNANT?

WHO SAID MY MOTHER WAS PREGNANT?

I'LL BREAK HIS FACE.

MY MOTHER AIN'T BEEN
PREGNANT SINCE SHE HAD ME.

THEN SHE FIGURED, WHY
TAMPER WITH SUCCESS?

I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT
YOUR MOTHER, MR. BARBARINO.

WELL, YOU BETTER NOT
TALK ABOUT MY MOTHER.

UH, MR. BARBARINO,
WOULD YOU MIND IF WE JUST

STARTED AT THE BEGINNING?

ALL RIGHT, THE
BEGINNING, ALL RIGHT,

THIS IS WHAT HAPPENED, RIGHT?

MR. WOODMAN LEAVES ME BACK,
RIGHT, CAUSE I MISSED THIS TEST

THAT I WAS SUPPOSED
TO MAKE UP, ALL RIGHT?

SO, I GET UPSET, I
GOT TO MR. KOTTER,

I SAY, "HELP ME," ALL RIGHT?

SO HE SAYS, "I CAN'T
HELP YOU VINNIE."

SO I GO, I GO TO MRS.
KOTTER'S HOUSE...

UH, MR. BARBARINO,
UH, HOLD IT, TIME OUT.

I WOULD JUST LIKE THE NAME
OF THE PREGNANT WOMAN

THAT WAS WHEELED DOWN
THE HALL A FEW MOMENTS AGO.

THAT'S WHAT I WAS GETTING
TO, THAT'S MRS. KOTTER,

THAT'S ALL PART OF THE STORY
I WAS GONNA TELL YOU THIS.

SPLENDID, "MRS. KOTTER?"

MRS. KOTTER, YEAH.

AND WHO IS MR. KOTTER?

WELL THAT... THAT'S MY TEACHER.

WHAT?

ALL RIGHT, HE'S MY
EX-TEACHER NOW.

WELL, GIVEN WHAT YOU'VE
DONE I'M NOT SURPRISED.

UH, EXCUSE ME?

I'M MR. KOTTER.

I KNOW WHO YOU ARE.

NOW, NOW MR. KOTTER,
I KNOW HOW YOU

AND YOUR ASSOCIATES HERE
MUST FEEL, BUT PLEASE NO TROUBLE

I MEAN THESE THINGS ARE
BEST HANDLED WITHIN THE LAW.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

I DON'T CARE WHAT
YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.

- WHERE'S MY WIFE?
- SHE'S IN A LABOR ROOM.

"LABOR ROOM?"

THEY'RE MAKING HER
WORK AT A TIME LIKE THIS?

WHERE'S THE LABOR ROOM?

IT'S DOWN THE HALL THAT WAY.

THANK YOU.

HI THERE.

THIS MUST BE YOUR FIRST.

MY FIRST WHAT?

FIRST BABY.

BABY!

HEY, COME ON NOW, LITTLE ARNOLD
HERE JUST REACHED PUBERTY.

YEAH, IT HAPPENED A WEEK
AGO WHEN I WAS WATCHING

AMERICAN BANDSTAND.

MY VOICE SUDDENLY
CHANGED FROM "OOH, OOH-OOH,"

TO "OOH, OOH-OOH!"

WELL THEN, THIS
KIDS STUFF IS A SNAP.

THIS IS MY EIGHTH.

EIGHTH, YEAH.

IT'S NICE TO SEE YA
OUT OF THE HOUSE.

WELL... HERE WE ARE.

IT WORKED.

SO, THIS IS WHAT IT'S
LIKE TO BE A GROWN UP.

OH, OOH, OOH!

JULIE, JULIE, YOU OKAY?

UH-HUH, FINE, UH, OOH!

YOU DON'T SOUND SO FINE.

OOH, OOH!

THIS IS NO TIME TO BE DOING
ARNOLD HORSHACK IMITATIONS.

COME ON, SIT UP.

LOOK, YOU SURE THIS
NATURAL CHILDBIRTH THING

IS A GOOD IDEA?

OF COURSE IT'S A GOOD IDEA.

I DON'T KNOW, I MEAN, YOU
KNOW, IT'S STILL NOT TOO LATE

TO CHANGE YOUR MIND,
WHAT DO YOU THINK?

AND DO WHAT?

HAVE AN UNNATURAL CHILDBIRTH?

IT'S NOT TOO LATE, IF YOU
WANT AN ANESTHETIC, YOU KNOW?

THEY'LL GIVE YOU ONE,
IF YOU CAN'T USE IT, UH,

THEY'LL GIVE IT TO ME.

HONEY, RELAX.

I'M RELAXED, I'M RELAXED,
I'M JUST A LITTLE TENSE.

OKAY, YOU KNOW IT
TAKES A STRONG MAN

TO BE THIS OPEN AND SENSITIVE.

- IT DOES?
- UH-HUH.

AND I CAN REALLY
FEEL YOUR LOVE, HONEY.

YOU CAN?

YEAH, YOU'RE GONNA
BE A WONDERFUL FATHER.

OH, THANK YOU HONEY, THAT'S
REALLY SWEET OF YOU TO SAY THAT.

NOW, CAN YOU SAY IT ONE
MORE TIME ABOUT THIS STRONG

AND SENSITIVE AND THIS TIME...

NOW, NOW, NOW, THAT'S HOW
WE GOT HERE IN THE FIRST PLACE.

OH, DR. MELMAN, HOW'RE YA DOING?

- HOW ARE YA?
- HOW ARE YA, DOCTOR?

WELL, NOW THEN, LET'S
SEE HOW WE'RE DOING HERE.

INCIDENTALLY JULIE,
DID I EVER TELL YOU

GABE WAS ONE OF THE FIRST
BABIES I EVER DELIVERED.

YEAH, BUT DON'T WORRY,
I'M A LOT BETTER AT IT NOW.

OH, WE'RE GETTING CLOSER!

DON'T GO AWAY,
I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

HI THERE!

YOU MIND IF I COME IN?

NO, WAIT A MINUTE, I'M SORRY,
BUT THIS IS ONLY FOR MEMBERS

OF THE IMMEDIATE FAMILY.

IT'S OKAY DOCTOR,
YOU SEE I'M THE COUSIN

THEY DON'T TALK ABOUT.

YOU SEE, I'M THE WHITE
SHEEP OF THE FAMILY.

OH, A KIDDER?

IT'S ALL RIGHT, I LIKE A KIDDER.

FREDDIE, UH, I THINK
YOU BETTER WAIT OUTSIDE.

NO-NO, IT'S OKAY,
COME ON IN FREDDIE.

OH, THIS AIN'T GONNA TAKE
LONG, 'CAUSE I KNOW YOU ALL

GOT A LOTTA THINGS
TO DO, BUT UM...

THIS IS FROM ALL OF THE
GUYS TO YOU, MRS. KOTT-AIRE.

THANK YOU, FREDDIE, HOW NICE!

- THAT WAS REALLY NICE OF YOU.
- OH, THINK NOTHING OF IT.

HONEY, WHY DON'T
YOU READ THE CARD?

THE CARD, WHAT A
MINUTE, WHAT CARD?

WAIT-WAIT-WAIT-WAIT-WAIT-WAIT,
DON'T TOUCH THE CARD!

"DEAR MANNY, GOOD LUCK
WITH YOUR KIDNEY STONES."

FREDDIE.

HEY, LOOK, IT'S ALL RIGHT,
MR. KOTT-AIRE, I MEAN, I MEAN,

A GUY, A GUY DOESN'T NEED
FLOWERS JUST BECAUSE

HIS KIDNEYS GOT STONED.

SEE YOU LATER, FREDDIE.

YEAH, SEE YA LATER.

OH, YOU GOING, HUH?

WHITE SHEEP.

SO LONG, KIDDER.

WELL, BOY AND GIRL,
LET'S GO HAVE A BABY.

ALL RIGHT, BE VERY CAREFUL GUYS,

THIS IS THE ONLY
WIFE I HAVE, ALL RIGHT?

DON'T WORRY.

DON'T WORRY, WE HAVEN'T
DROPPED ANYONE ALL DAY.

- TAKE IT EASY!
- THIS YOUR FIRST TIME?

YEAH IT IS.

OH, MY GOD, OUR FIRST BABY.

WE'RE REALLY GOING
THROUGH WITH IT!

YOU KNOW SOMETHING, HONEY?

I'M A LITTLE SCARED.

DON'T WORRY, JULIE,
EVERYTHING'S GONNA BE FINE.

HEY, DID I EVER TELL YOU
THE STORY ABOUT THE...

MAN WHO LOVED
HIS WIFE VERY MUCH?

YEAH, I LIKE THAT ONE.

I'M GLAD TO SAY I KNOW IT.

ARE YOU CRYING?

NO, I... I JUST HAD
AN ONION SANDWICH.

JULIE, I LOVE YOU VERY MUCH.

I'LL SEE YOU LATER.

YOU'LL SEE US LATER.

HEY NURSE, I WANNA MAKE A
COMPLAINT ABOUT THIS HERE

VENDING MACHINE!

DID YOU USE THE CORRECT CHANGE?

YEAH, I JUST LOST A GOOD
DIME SLUG AND NICKEL SLUG.

WHY DID I EVER
LEAVE INTENSIVE CARE?

IT WAS ALWAYS SO
NICE AND QUIET THERE.

BET YOU LIKED THAT, HUH?

ANYBODY GIVES YOU ANY TROUBLE,
YOU JUST PULL THE OLD PLUG

ON 'EM, HUH?

WELL, THERE IS ANOTHER
VENDING MACHINE IN THE LOBBY.

OH, AND IF THAT ONE DOESN'T
WORK, WHY DON'T YOU TRY

OUR SISTER HOSPITAL IN BURMA!

HEY, VINNIE, HOW DO
WE GET TO BURMA?

BURMA?

LET'S SEE NOW, HOW DO YOU
GET TO BURMA, I KNOW THAT.

YOU SEE, YOU GOTTA TAKE
THE D TRAIN TO THE BRONX

AND TRANSFER THERE.

OR, WAIT, MAYBE
IT'S THE A TRAIN.

I FORGET, I USED TO KNOW
THAT, BUT I... I FORGET.

OH, YOU GUYS AREN'T
YOU ALL EXCITED?

EXCITED, WHY DID YOU SEE
A CUTE NURSE, OR WHAT?

I LOVE THOSE WHITE STOCKINGS
WHERE YOU CAN SEE THE...

HEY, EPSTEIN, THAT
NUMBER WITH THE FLOWERS

THAT WENT OVER PRETTY BIG.

HEY, WHY DON'T YOU CHECK IN
WITH THAT DUDE MANNY, YOU KNOW

THAT CAT WITH THEM
STONED KIDNEYS?

I THINK SOMEBODY SENT HIM
SOME CHOCOLATE TURTLES.

YEAH, YEAH, EH
THAT'S A GOOD IDEA,

I MEAN HE DOESN'T NEED
THAT JUNK ANYWAY, YOU KNOW?

THE SUGAR, IT ROTS
YOU OUT INSIDE.

HEY, ARNOLD, LET'S
GO TO THE LOBBY, HUH?

♪ LETS ALL GO TO THE LOBBY ♪

♪ LETS ALL GO TO THE LOBBY ♪

♪ LETS ALL GO TO THE LOBBY ♪

♪ TO HAVE OURSELVES A TREAT ♪

YEAH!

WHERE'D THOSE
GUYS GO, THE LOBBY?

HOW ARE YA DOING?

OKAY, OKAY, THANKS FOR
COMING, FREDDIE, VINNIE.

HEY, WHAT'S WITH
THAT GUY OVER THERE?

I THINK HE OD'D ON FATHERHOOD.

LOOK, I GOTTA TALK TO HIM
IN PRIVATE, LIKE, ALL RIGHT?

- OH, NO PROBLEM.
- ALL RIGHT.

I WANNA TALK TO YOU.

UM, I'M REALLY GLAD ABOUT
WHAT HAPPENS, YOU KNOW?

MRS. KOTTER AND EVERYTHING,
IT'S ALL REALLY TURNED OUT

COOL AND EVERYTHING, ALL RIGHT?

- THANKS A LOT, VINNIE.
- THAT'S GOOD.

UH, BUT THERE ARE MORE IMPORTANT
THINGS GOING ON IN LIFE TOO,

YOU KNOW?

LIKE ME GETTING LEFT BACK,
I MEAN THAT'S A BIG PROBLEM.

VINNIE, DO YOU REALLY
THINK I CAN CONCENTRATE

ON ANYTHING ELSE OTHER
THAN WHAT'S GOING ON

IN THAT DELIVERY ROOM?

WELL, LOOK MAN, THE CHANCES
ARE THAT MRS. KOTTER'S

GONNA COME OUTTA THAT
DELIVERY ROOM, ALL RIGHT?

BUT I'M NOT SO SURE
ABOUT THE CHANCES OF ME

GETTING OUT OUTTA
THE TENTH GRADE.

VINNIE, I PROMISE YOU YOU'LL GET
OUT OF THE TENTH GRADE, OKAY?

WELL THERE HE IS, A MAN
WHO'S ABOUT TO SPEND

HIS ENTIRE LIFE IN
THE TENTH GRADE.

SEE WHAT I MEAN, YOU SEE THAT?

HEY, VINNIE, VINNIE, MY
MAN, DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.

LET'S GO DOWN TO
THE NURSE'S LOUNGE.

HEY, MAYBE THEY'LL LET
YOU DONATE YOUR BODY.

CHECK IT OUT.

THAT'S A GOOD IDEA, I'LL GET
MY MIND OFF THE SITUATION.

- YEAH.
- NOW, DON'T TELL THEM

I GOT LEFT BACK, RIGHT?

♪ LETS ALL GO TO THE LOBBY ♪

♪ LETS ALL GO TO THE LOBBY ♪

THEY'RE GOING TO THE LOBBY.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING
HERE, MR. WOODMAN?

I GUESS I'M SORT OF SENTIMENTAL,
KOTTER, I LIKE TO BE AROUND

WHEN A NEW DELINQUENT
IS BROUGHT INTO THE WORLD.

OH, COME ON,
MR. WOODMAN, ADMIT IT!

YOU'RE HERE BECAUSE YOU CARE.

YOU KEEP THIS UP AND I'LL LEAVE.

I DIDN'T PLAN TO COME
HERE, I WAS PASSING BY.

MY BUS SUDDENLY CAUGHT FIRE.

I RAN FOR MY LIFE AND DON'T
ASK ME HOW, I FOUND MYSELF HERE.

THANKS FOR COMING, MR., WOODMAN.

SO, UH... HOW'S
SHE DOING, KOTTER?

JULIE'S FINE.

I'M SO-SO.

WELL, REMEMBER GABE, THERE'S
NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT.

I'VE HAD A LITTLE EXPERIENCE
WITH THIS SORT OF THING.

YOU?

YEAH, I GOT AS GIRL
IN TROUBLE ONCE.

YOU GOT A GIRL IN TROUBLE?

WELL, SORT OF...

I WAS GOING WITH A STRANGE
GIRL NAMED EUNICE TISHMAN.

SHE WAS CONVINCED
THAT ONCE OF HER LEGS

WAS SHORTER THAN THE OTHER.

BUT SHE WAS FUN.

EVERY DAY AFTER SCHOOL,
WE'D GO SHOPPING FOR SHOES.

MR. WOODMAN, THIS SOUNDS
LIKE IT'S GONNA BE WORSE

THAN ONE OF MY STORIES.

NO, IT'S NOT THAT BAD, KOTTER.

NO, IT'S GOT A BIG FINISH.

NOW, ONE DAY EUNICE AND I
FOUND THIS ALL NIGHT SHOE STORE.

THERE WAS ONLY ONE SALESMAN.

NOW, TRY TO PICTURE
THIS IN YOUR MIND.

A LONELY GUY, NOTHING TO DO
BETWEEN MIDNIGHT AND 7:00 A.M.

BUT BUFF WEDGIES.

NOT YOUR AVERAGE GUY.

NEITHER ARE YOU MR. WOODMAN.

LEMME TELL YOU, HE KNEW FEET.

RIGHT AWAY, HE SPOTS EUNICE
AS ONE OF HIS OWN PEOPLE,

HE LETS HER TRY ON
EVERY SHOE IN THAT PLACE.

PUMPS, SANDALS, KEDS, THE WORKS!

AND HE CONVINCES HER
HER LEGS ARE THE SAME SIZE!

WHERE IS THIS STORY
GOING, MR. WOODMAN?

HANG IN THERE, KOTTER,
I'M BRINGING IT HOME.

NATURALLY, EUNICE FALLS
MADLY IN LOVE WITH THIS GUY.

EVEN THOUGH HE'S OLDER,
WITH HIGHER ARCHES.

AND NOW, ARE YOU READY FOR THIS?

THEY RAN OFF TOGETHER TO A
SHOE CONVENTION IN SALT LAKE CITY.

YEAH?

THEY RAN OFF TOGETHER TO A
SHOE CONVENTION IN SALT LAKE CITY.

WELL, I DON'T UNDERSTAND,
HOW DID YOU GET HER IN TROUBLE?

KOTTER, DON'T YOU GET IT,
I'M THE ONE WHO TOOK HER

TO THE SHOE STORE
IN THE FIRST PLACE!

MR. WOODMAN...

OVER THE YEARS WE
HAVEN'T BEEN CLOSE,

BUT I WANNA GIVE YOU
SOME ADVICE AS A FRIEND,

NEVER TELL THAT STORY AGAIN.

THIS IS REALLY A FUN
PLACE, MR. KOTTER.

UH, WE JUST TOOK ARNOLD
UP TO PLASTIC SURGERY

FOR AN ESTIMATE.

HEY, MR. WOODMAN, WHAT
ARE YOU DOING IN THE HOSPITAL?

I LIKE THE FOOD.

I COULDN'T BELIEVE IT MYSELF.

I COULDN'T BELIEVE...
OH, HERE THEY ARE.

HERE THEY ARE, THEY'RE
THE ONES WHO LEFT ME BACK.

GO OPERATE ON 'EM.

HEY, VINNIE, MY MAN, THESE ARE
STUDENT NURSES, NOT SURGEONS.

I KNOW, IT'S BETTER THAT WAY,
THAT WAY WHEN THEY OPERATE

THEY DON'T KNOW
WHAT THEY'RE DOING.

CORK IT, CLOWNS!

SHOW SOME RESPECT, MRS.
KOTTER'S HAVING A BABY!

HEY LOOK, YOU SHOW
RESPECT YOUR WAY,

WE'LL SHOW RESPECT
OUR WAY, ALL RIGHT?

ALL RIGHT GUYS,
COME ON, CUT IT OUT,

OTHERWISE, WE'LL
HAVE MR. WOODMAN

TELL YOU HIS SHOE STORY.

LET'S GO, COME ON,
EPSTEIN, HORSHACK,

PUT THE WHEELCHAIR BACK.

YES, SIR.

WASHINGTON, BARBARINO,
PUT THE GIRLS BACK.

LET THE GIRLS GO
BACK TO THEIR JOBS.

I'LL CATCH YOU AFTER WORK, BABY.

WEAR THOSE WHITE
STOCKINGS TOO, I LIKE THAT.

LET'S NOT MAKE A
CIRCUS OUT OF THIS, OKAY?

HEY, RELAX, MR. KOTTER,
THERE'S NOTHING

TO HAVING THIS BABY STUFF!

COME ON NOW, MY
MOTHER'S HAD 10 OF 'EM.

- REALLY?
- THAT'S RIGHT.

MOST OF 'EM ARE NORMAL.

EXCEPT FOR MY
BROTHER SANCHEZ, BUT...

HEY, LOOK THESE THINGS
HAPPEN, YOU KNOW?

AT LEAST THEY LET HIM
COME HOME EVERY CHRISTMAS!

MR. KOTTER, THERE AIN'T NO
PROBLEM HERE, YOU KNOW THAT?

I MEAN IF IT'S UGLY,
WE JUST SWITCH BABIES.

- VINNIE...
- LOOK, IT'S VERY SIMPLE,

YOU TIPTOE INTO THE BABY ROOM,
THEN YOU TAKE THE UGLY BABY OUT,

- AND THEN PUT IN...
- ALL RIGHT, THAT'S ENOUGH.

ALL RIGHT, SIT DOWN, SIT DOWN!

TWO HOURS AND TEN MINUTES, I
WANNA KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON!

I WANNA KNOW WHAT'S
GOING ON IN THERE.

TWO HOURS AND TEN MINUTES,
WHY DON'T THEY SAY SOMETHING?

I'M GOING IN THERE,
I'M TELL... MR. KOTTER?

WHAT?

ALLOW ME TO PUT
YOUR FEARS TO REST.

WE ARE ALL HERE TO
WITNESS A MIRACLE.

THE MIRACLE OF
BIRTH AND MR. KOTTER...

MIRACLES CANNOT BE RUSHED.

LOOK, ARNOLD I AM...

ARNOLD, WHAT YOU JUST
SAID, THAT WAS BEAUTIFUL

IT MADE A LOT OF SENSE.

OF COURSE, BIRTHS
CANNOT BE RUSHED!

FOR EXAMPLE, FIRST THE
STORK HAS TO BE NOTIFIED.

I'M GOING IN THERE.

- OH, NO.
- MR. KOTTER, RELAX!

FIVE MINUTE, FIVE MINUTES...

HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY!

YOU GOT FIVE
MINUTES, IF YOU DON'T...

CONGRATULATIONS.

WHAT?

YOU'RE THE FATHER
OF A BOUNCING...

EXCUSE ME DOCTOR!

- WHAT, WHAT?
- SIT TIGHT.

HE SAID IT WAS BOUNCING.

- WAIT A MINUTE, WAIT!
- HEY, HEY!

- TAKE IT EASY!
- MR. KOTTER WOULD YOU CALM DOWN!

THEY DIDN'T SAY
WHAT WAS BOUNCING!

WHY WOULD HE COME IN HERE
AND SAY SOMETHING WAS BOUNCING?

WHAT'S BOUNCING, AM I THE
FATHER OF A BALL, OR WHAT?

IS THERE A DOCTOR IN THE HOUSE?

"BOUNCING," THAT'S
ALL HE SAID, "BOUNCING."

OKAY, JUST, JUST, IT'S
GONNA BE ALL RIGHT,

THE DOCTOR'S GONNA BE HERE
SOON, ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT?

WHY DIDN'T HE SAY
WHAT WAS BOUNCING?

DOC, WHAT'S BOUNCING?

GABE, MAKE THAT BOUNCING BABIES,

TWINS?

GIRLS, GIRLS GABE!

TWINS, THE MOTHER AND
DAUGHTERS ARE DOING FINE.

- YES!
- YAY!

HAVE A CIGAR, HAVE
A CIGAR, HAVE A CIGAR.

I'VE NEVER SMOKED
ON OF THESE BEFORE.

♪ I'VE GOT BOUNCING
BABY GIRLS TO A BED ♪

♪ BOUNCING HERE,
BOUNCING THERE ♪

♪ BOUNCING EVERYWHERE ♪

♪ BOUNCING BABIES ♪

YOU OKAY?

FINE.

HAVE A CIGAR.

THANKS.

TWINS.

I ALWAYS WAS AN OVERACHIEVER.

I DON'T UNDERSTAND,
HONEY, DON'T THEY USUALLY

KNOW ABOUT THINGS LIKE THAT?

YEAH, THEY DO, ONE
OF THEM WAS HIDING.

I LOVE YOU, HONEY.

I HAVE A COUPLE OF VISITORS
WHO WANT TO SEE YOU.

OH, I DON'T THINK RIGHT NOW.

I THINK THESE TWO WILL BE OKAY.

I'M YOUR DADDY.

SHE'S TALKING TO ME.

WHAT'S SHE SAYING?

SHE'S SAYING "WHO
IS THIS MASKED MAN?"

THAT'S NO MASKED MAN,
THAT'S YOUR FATHER.

DADA KOTTER, KOTTER DADA.



NEXT, ON "WELCOME BACK, KOTTER"

OKAY, HERE WE GO, GIRLS.

I KNOW IT'S NOT
WHAT YOU'RE USED TO,

BUT IT'S GONNA
HAVE TO DO FOR NOW.

AND NO COMPLAINS OR DADDY'LL
MAKE YOU CHIP IN FOR THE RENT.

VINNIE, I'LL TELL YA WHAT, I
PROMISE AS SOON AS WE GET

SETTLED, I'LL TALK TO
MR. WOODMAN AND I'LL GET HIM

TO GIVE YOU THE
MAKE-UP TEST OKAY?

BUT LEAVE US ALONE
FOR A WHILE, ALL RIGHT?

GO AWAY, NOBODY'S HOME!

NOBODY'S HOME,
NOW THAT'S ENOUGH!

GO AWAY!

GO... JULIE'S MOTHER AND FATHER!

- WHAT?!
- HEY.

WE BROUGHT YOU THE
FINEST EVERYTHING.

WE HAVE BABY PEAS,
YOUNG LIMA BEANS,

AND TENDER GOLDEN NIBLETS.

I JUST WANT THEM TO LEAVE.

DON'T WORRY, IT'LL
BE TAKEN CARE OF.

I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE.

IT'S DRIVING ME CR-CRAZY.



♪ WELCOME BACK ♪

♪ YOUR DREAMS WERE
YOUR TICKET OUT ♪

♪ WELCOME BACK ♪

♪ TO THAT SAME OLD PLACE
THAT YOU LAUGHED ABOUT ♪

♪ WELL THE NAMES
HAVE ALL CHANGED

SINCE YOU HUNG AROUND ♪

♪ BUT THOSE DREAMS HAVE REMAINED

AND THEY'VE TURNED AROUND ♪

♪ WHO'D HAVE THOUGHT
THEY'D LEAD YA ♪

♪ WHO'D HAVE THOUGHT
THEY'D LEAD YA ♪

♪ BACK HERE WHERE WE NEED YA ♪

♪ BACK HERE WHERE WE NEED YA ♪

♪ YEAH, WE TEASE HIM A LOT

'CAUSE WE GOT HIM ON THE SPOT ♪

♪ WELCOME BACK ♪