Welcome Back, Kotter (1975–1979): Season 3, Episode 27 - Class Encounters of the Carvelli Kind - full transcript

JULIE, COME ON,
THE GIRLS ARE FINE.

THE MOVIE STARTS IN TEN MINUTES.

JULIE, DID I EVER TELL YOU
ABOUT MY UNCLE BRUCE

WHO WAS A DRESS SALESMAN?

ONE YEAR, HE GOES TO THIS BUYER.

HE SHOWS HIM HIS MERCHANDISE
AND THE BUYER SAYS,

"WELL, I'M NOT GONNA
BUY ANY OF YOUR DRESSES,

BUT I WISH THERE
WAS 100 LIKE YOU."

NEXT YEAR HE GOES
BACK SAME BUYER,

HE LOOKS AT HIM, HE SAYS, "WELL,

I'M NOT GONNA BUY
ANY OF YOUR DRESSES,



BUT I WISH THERE
WAS 100 LIKE YOU."

MY UNCLE SAYS, "HOW COME
EVERY YEAR I COME HERE,

YOU DON'T BUY
ANYTHING AND YOU SAY

YOU WISH THERE WAS 100 LIKE ME?"

AND THE BUYER SAYS, "BECAUSE

THERE'S 1,000 LIKE YOU."



♪ WELCOME BACK ♪

♪ YOUR DREAMS WERE
YOUR TICKET OUT ♪

♪ WELCOME BACK ♪

♪ TO THAT SAME OLD PLACE
THAT YOU LAUGHED ABOUT ♪

♪ WELL THE NAMES
HAVE ALL CHANGED

SINCE YOU HUNG AROUND ♪

♪ BUT THOSE DREAMS HAVE REMAINED



AND THEY'VE TURNED AROUND ♪

♪ WHO'D HAVE THOUGHT
THEY'D LEAD YA ♪

♪ WHO'D HAVE THOUGHT
THEY'D LEAD YA ♪

♪ BACK HERE WHERE WE NEED YA ♪

♪ BACK HERE WHERE WE NEED YA ♪

♪ YEAH, WE TEASE HIM A LOT

'CAUSE WE GOT HIM ON THE SPOT ♪

♪ WELCOME BACK ♪

♪ WELCOME BACK, WELCOME
BACK, WELCOME BACK ♪♪

MR. WOODMAN.

MR. WOODMAN, ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?
YOU LOOK A LITTLE DEPRESSED.

WHAT'S THE MATTER,
WEATHER GOT YOU DOWN?

IT'S NOT THE WEATHER, KOTTER.

MY LIFE.

DULL, DREARY, DEPRESSING.

BELIEVE ME, KOTTER,
BEING ALIVE IS OVERRATED.

YEAH, BUT TRY TELLING
THAT TO A DEAD PERSON.

I NEVER THOUGHT
I'D WIND UP LIKE THIS,

A WART ON THE FACE OF LIFE.

COME ON, MR. WOODMAN,
YOU'RE BEING TOO HARD

ON YOURSELF.

I WOULDN'T CALL YOU A WART.

MAYBE A COLD SORE.

IT'S A SHAME, KOTTER,
I NEVER FOLLOWED

MY TRUE CALLING.

I WAS GONNA BE A FANCY
PARK AVENUE PODIATRIST.

REALLY, YOU WANTED
TO BE A FOOT DOCTOR?

I LOVED FEET, KOTTER.

JUST COULDN'T STAND SOCKS.

GEE, I HOPE LITTLE
JUAN DOES OKAY

AT NEW UTRECHT.

THESE EXCHANGE PROGRAMS, MAN.

I MEAN, WE HAVE TO HAVE
AN EXCHANGE PROGRAM,

WHY IT GOT TO BE
WITH NEW UTRECHT?

WHY CAN'T IT BE
SOMEPLACE OUT OF TOWN?

LIKE SWEDEN.

HEY, VINNIE.

VINNIE, IS IT...

IS IT TRUE WHAT THEY
SAY ABOUT SWEDISH GIRLS?

- WHAT?
- YOU KNOW!

THAT THEY, UH...

THAT THEY MAKE GREAT MEATBALLS?

HEY, LITTLE BUDDY!

SOCKS.

STOOD BETWEEN ME AND HAPPINESS.

OKAY, NOW OPEN
YOUR BOOKS TO PAGE 34.

NOW WE READ THIS CHAPTER
ALREADY, BUT IT SEEMS...

OKAY, KOTTER, YOUR
EXCHANGE STUDENTS,

THE INFAMOUS
CARVELLI AND MURRAY,

GREET 'EM AND WEEP.

OH, COME ON!

MR. KOTTER, HOW COME
WE SEND ONE PERSON OVER

AND THEY SEND US BACK TWO?

THAT'S 'CAUSE IT TAKES
MURRAY AND CARVELLI BOTH

TO ADD UP TO BE
ONE WHOLE PERSON!

YEAH, WASHINGTON?

WELL, HOW WOULD YOU LIKE
TO HAVE PART OF YOUR FACE

SUBTRACTED?

HOW WOULD YOU LIKE
TO HAVE YOUR NOSE

SUBDIVIDED?

HERE, KOTTER, I MADE UP A
LIST OF NUMBERS YOU MAY NEED.

POLICE DEPARTMENT, SWAT TEAM.

NATIONAL GUARD.

IF ALL ELSE FAILS,
SUICIDE HOTLINE.

IF YOU NEED ME, I'LL
BE IN THE CAFETERIA

STRINGING BARBED WIRE.

OKAY, OKAY, OKAY.

I THINK WE ALL KNOW EACH OTHER.

YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.

UNFORTUNATELY.

YEAH, UNFORTUNATELY.

ALL RIGHT, WHY DON'T
YOU GUYS TAKE A SEAT?

OKAY.

I'LL TAKE THIS ONE.

HORSHACK.

GET UP.

YOU CAN'T HAVE MY CHAIR.

THIS COULDN'T BE YOUR CHAIR

BECAUSE IT DOESN'T HAVE
ANY TRAINING WHEELS.

YOU HEAR THAT, HORSHACK?

CARVELLI SAID IT
CAN'T BE YOUR CHAIR,

'CAUSE IT AIN'T GOT
TRAINING WHEELS.

HEY, MURRAY, HOW
WOULD YOU LIKE TO LAND

IN YOUR POTTY SEAT?

HA-HA-HA!

THAT'S ENOUGH.

CARVELLI, YOU SIT
DOWN RIGHT OVER THERE,

AND MURRAY, YOU
SIT DOWN OVER HERE.

HEY, CARVELLI.

I HEARD THAT YOUR
HOMECOMING QUEEN

WAS LATE FOR SCHOOL YESTERDAY

'CAUSE SHE HAD TO BE WORMED.

HEY, MAN.

SHE WAS LUCKY.

SHE WAS LUCKY, THE RUNNER-UP

HAD TO BE PUT TO SLEEP.

HEY, CARVELLI.

WHY DON'T YOU SELL ME SOME
OF YOUR HOME-GROWN POTATOES?

WHERE AM I GONNA GET
HOME-GROWN POTATOES?

WHY DON'T YOU LOOK IN YOUR EAR?

NOW, LOOK, CARVELLI AND
MURRAY ARE GONNA BE HERE

FOR A WEEK.

NOW THIS IS A CLASSROOM,
NOT A GANG WAR, ALL RIGHT?

LET'S STRAIGHTEN OUT.

- NO MORE INSULTS.
- MR. KOTTER.

MR. KOTTER.

ONE MORE.

DID YOU HEAR ME,
CARVELLI, I SAID NO MORE.

COME ON, A LITTLE ONE.

SIT DOWN, CARVELLI.

I AM SITTING.

I SIT VERY TALL.

JUST ANOTHER LITTLE ONE.

HEY, KOTTER, I GOT 20

SAYS YOU BREAK 200 BY FRIDAY.

ALL RIGHT. NOW THESE TEST
RESULTS WERE NOT GREAT,

BUT THEY WERE ENCOURAGING.

MR. KOTTER.

MR. KOTTER, THEY'RE HERE.

THE INTERGALACTIC VISITORS.

THEY'VE LANDED.

THEY YORKSLITES HAVE LANDED.

THE YORKSLITES HAVE LANDED.

SEE, HE SAW IT TOO.

THINK THEY MUST HAVE
LANDED ON YOUR HEAD.

PUT MY MAN CARVELLI DOWN.

HE'S HAVING A CLOSE
ENCOUNTER OF THE FOURTH KIND.

HEY, GUYS, LAST NIGHT I
HAD A CLOSE ENCOUNTER.

IT WAS WITH DOLORES.

BUT I COULDN'T GET
PAST THE FIRST KIND.

HE AIN'T TALKIN'
ABOUT GIRLS, FOOL.

TALKIN' ABOUT AN ENCOUNTER
WITH ANOTHER PLANET.

MURRAY, MURRAY, COOL IT,

I TOLD YOU, THIS IS BETWEEN
ME AND THE YORKSLITES.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

YORKSLITES.

THEY LANDED ON
MY ROOF LAST NIGHT.

HAVE YOU BEEN SAMPLING
GLUE AGAIN, CARVELLI?

HEY, WHAT THEY DO, MAN?

THEY STOP BY TO SELL
YOU SOME GOGGLES?

OH, YEAH, YEAH.

I FORGOT I HAD
THESE ON, YOU SEE,

THEY MADE ME WEAR 'EM
FOR THE TRIP LAST NIGHT.

YOU KNOW, WHEN YOU
GO THROUGH RADIATION,

THE ISOTOPES GET INVERTED

AND YOU COULD
GET RETINA BURNOUT.

DID YOU HEAR THAT?

CARVELLI SAID THE ISOTOPE...

MURRAY, MURRAY.

THEY HEARD ME. THEY HEARD ME.

ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT,
NOW BACK HERE ON EARTH,

WE'RE ABOUT TO
DISCUSS THE TEST RESULTS

SO SIT DOWN.

OOH, OOH, OOH!

I WANT TO HEAR MORE
ABOUT THESE YORKSLITES.

YEAH.

ARE THEY ALL THE
SAME OR DO THEY COME

IN YOUR CHOICE OF
DECORATIVE COLORS?

WELL, DID Y'ALL HEAR HORSHACK

OR DIDN'T YOU?

DO THEY COME IN
DIFFERENT COLORS?

ALL RIGHT, CARVELLI,
YOU GOT 30 SECONDS, GO.

ALL RIGHT, OKAY,
I'LL TRY NOT TO BE

TOO TECHNICAL.

OKAY, LAST NIGHT, I
WAS SITTIN' IN MY ROOM

WHEN ALL OF A SUDDEN,
SOMEBODY TURNS ON

THIS GIANT MAGNET
AND I'M SUCKED UP

INTO A SPACESHIP.

NOW, COME ON, CARVELLI, NOW,

HOW ANYBODY GONNA BELIEVE
THAT SOME GIANT MAGNET CAME

AND SUCKED SOMEBODY
OFF INTO A SHIP?

THAT'S THE FIRST
THING I ASKED THEM

WHEN I GOT ON BOARD.

IT WORKS ON THE
FILLINGS IN YOUR TEETH.

ANYWAYS, TEN SECONDS
LATER, I'M ON THE PLANET YORKSL.

THERE'S MORE.

THERE'S MORE, THEY'RE
COMING BACK FOR ME.

THEY'RE COMING BACK ON ZOYEL.

ZOYEL?

DID I SAY ZOYEL?

YEAH, YOU SAID ZOYEL.

I SAID ZOYEL.

IT'S ALL THEIR LANGUAGE,
IT'S ALL SO NEW TO ME.

ZOYEL, HERN, LOISCH.

IN ENGLISH.

THAT'S TOMORROW NIGHT.

CARVELLI, WILL YOU SIT
DOWN BEFORE YOUR ZOYEL

GETS CAUGHT IN YOUR HERN?

DON'T YOU CARE?

DON'T YOU CARE
THAT YORKSL IS DYING?

THEY'RE IN DESPERATE
NEED OF SOMETHING

AND EARTH IS THE ONLY
PLACE THEY CAN GET IT.

LOOK, I'M TELLING YA, I
DON'T CARE WHAT THEY NEED,

IF YOU DON'T SHUT
UP, I'M GONNA TAKE YA

TO WOODMAN'S OFFICE.

BELTS.

THE YORKSLITES NEED BELTS.

THAT'S IT, LET'S GO. COME ON.

NO, NO, FOR 400 YEARS,
THEY'VE BEEN WALKING AROUND

WITH THEIR PANTS
AROUND THEIR ANKLES.

CARVELLI, LET'S GO, COME ON!

LET'S GO!

OH, I'M SORRY, ARE YOU OKAY?

YEAH, YEAH, I LIKED IT.

I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

HEY, MURRAY.

I HOPE CARVELLI DON'T TELL
MR. WOODMAN THAT STORY.

HE DON'T BELIEVE IN
LIFE ON THIS PLANET.

ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, QUIET.

LET'S GO.

QUIET, COME ON, COME ON.

WE STILL GOT SOME TIME LEFT.

BYE-BYE.

YO, MR. KOTTER.

WHAT HAPPENED WITH MR. WOODMAN?

WELL, I LEFT AS SOON AS CARVELLI

TOOK OUT A BANANA
AND TOLD WOODMAN

IT WAS A YORKSLITE WALLET.

A BANANA?

THAT IS SO STUPID.

A BANANA DON'T EVEN HAVE
A PLACE TO HOLD PICTURES.

YOU KNOW SOMETHING, MR. KOTTER.

WHEN MR. WOODMAN
GETS THROUGH WITH HIM,

CARVELLI'S GONNA NEED HIMSELF

AN EAR TRANSPLANT.

EITHER THAT OR HE'S
GONNA HAVE TO GET HIMSELF

A HEARING EAR DOG.

HEY, GUYS, YOU KNOW WHAT?

MAYBE WOODMAN WILL
GIVE HIM A BECAUSE IT'S

BE KIND TO STUPID PEOPLE WEEK.

ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT,
WHAT ARE YOU DOIN',

DON'T YOU HAVE A CLASS TO GO TO?

I'M FREE THIS PERIOD.

GO AHEAD, NEXT CLASS.

BYE-BYE.

HEY, DON 'T TAKE ANY
YORKSLITE NICKELS.

YORKSLITE.

ZOYEL.

HERN.

PODIATRIST.

CARVELLI.

AH, MR. WOODMAN.

DID YOU STRAIGHTEN OUT CARVELLI?

IT'S AMAZING, KOTTER.

TRULY AMAZING.

WASN'T THAT THE WILDEST STORY

YOU'VE EVER HEARD IN YOUR LIFE?

YEAH.

THE ONLY THING I
CAN'T FIGURE OUT

IS WHY THE YORKSLITES
PICKED CARVELLI.

WELL, THAT'S BECAU...

ANYWAY, I'M GLAD
YOU SENT HIM TO ME.

OTHERWISE, I WOULDN'T
HAVE KNOWN ABOUT

TOMORROW NIGHT'S LANDING.

MR. WOODMAN, YOU
GOT TO BE KIDDING ME,

YOU CAN'T BELIEVE
CARVELLI'S STORY.

THAT'S RIDICULOUS.

RIDICULOUS, YOU SAY. HA-HA!

EARTHLINGS ARE SO NAIVE.

I BELIEVED IN UFOS
FOR YEARS, KOTTER.

I MEAN, HOW ELSE CAN
YOU ACCOUNT FOR THOSE

UNEXPLAINED PHENOMENA?

THE BERMUDA TRIANGLE?

THE SEX PISTOLS.

CHUCK BARRIS.

YOU BELIEVE IN UFOS?

YOU, A MAN WHO THOUGHT
ELECTRICITY WAS A FAD?

GO AHEAD, KOTTER, MAKE JOKES.

LOOK AT THIS.

I CLIPPED THIS OUT
OF THE MIDNIGHT STAR

TWO YEARS AGO.

THAT'S THE ONLY PAPER
LEFT IN THE COUNTRY

YOU CAN BELIEVE.

"LOUISIANA COUPLE
SUCKED INTO SPACESHIP

BY FILLINGS IN TEETH."

SEE? MATCHES CARVELLI'S STORY.

THEY'RE BACK.

I WANT TO THANK YOU AGAIN.

YOU SENT ME CARVELLI.

YOU GAVE ME HOPE.

TO CARRY ON.

♪ YOU LIGHT UP MY LIFE ♪

♪ YOU GIVE ME HOPE ♪

♪ CARRY ON ♪

I DON'T KNOW.

HEY, MR. KOTTER.

MAN, YOU GOTS TO DO SOMETHING.

I MEAN, CARVELLI'S
MAKING THE WHOLE SCHOOL

LOOK STUPID!

YEAH, AND I'M TIRED
OF LOOKING LIKE A FOOL.

I CAN GET THAT AT HOME.

YOU KNOW WHAT I CAN'T
BELIEVE IS THAT WOODMAN

IS SWALLOWING THIS WHOLE THING.

OH, YEAH? YOU KNOW WHAT'S
EVEN WORSE THAN THAT?

KNOW WHAT'S EVEN
WORSE THAN THAT?

HE'S LETTIN' CARVELLI
USE THE SCHOOLYARD

FOR THE LANDIN'!

AND THAT'S CRAZY.

THE SCHOOLYARD
IS A TOWAWAY ZONE.

MR. WOODMAN.

CAN'T STAY LONG, KOTTER,
I GOT A FLIGHT TO CATCH,

I'M OFF TO YORKSL.

UH...

YOU THINK SIX TOWELS
WILL BE ENOUGH, JULIE?

WHY BRING THEM, MR. WOODMAN?

STEAL THEM FROM
THE YORKSL HILTON.

MR. WOODMAN, YOU SHOW
UP THERE TOMORROW NIGHT,

THEY WON'T TALE YOU TO YORKSL,

THEY'LL TAKE YOU
TO THE STATE HOME.

IT'S OKAY, HE'S ALREADY PACKED.

MR. WOODMAN, OKAY, OKAY.

WHAT IF THIS THING
IS TRUE, ALL RIGHT?

I SAW THIS MOVIE ONCE WHERE
IT WAS ABOUT THIS PLANET

THAT WAS RUN BY A BUNCH
OF UGLY MONSTERS, OKAY?

AND THEY HAD THIS
EARTHLING ON IT LIKE SOMEONE

LIKE YOURSELF,
AND... THEY ATE HIM.

COURSE, YOU'D
PROBABLY MAKE 'EM SICK.

YEAH, THINK ABOUT
IT, MR. WOODMAN.

YOU COULD END UP
ON A YORKSLITE MENU.

FILET OF OLD.

ALL RIGHT, GUYS,
COME ON, COME ON.

JULIE AND I WOULD LIKE TO SPEAK

TO MR. WOODMAN.

WELL, MR. WOODMAN,
GOOD LUCK, YOU KNOW.

JUST REMEMBER,
EARTH MAY BE LOSING

A VICE PRINCIPAL, BUT YORKSL

IS GAININ' A MIDGET.

SEE YOU LATER.

BYE.

OKAY, MR. WOODMAN,
NOW THE GUYS ARE GONE.

YOU DON'T REALLY BELIEVE
ALL THIS STUFF, DO YOU?

WHY NOT?

I HAVE NOTHING TO
LOSE, OTHER THAN MORE

MISERABLE YEARS
TEACHING SAVAGES.

AND WHO KNOWS?

ON YORKSL, I MIGHT EVEN BE TALL.

MR. WOODMAN.

LOOK WHOSE WORD YOU'RE
TAKING FOR THIS, CARVELLI'S.

LOOK, THE YORKSLITES TRUST HIM.

I TRUST HIM TOO, KOTTER.

OH, JULIE, I WANT
YOU TO HAVE THESE.

THE KEYS TO MY CAR.

MR. WOODMAN, I CANNOT TAKE...

IT STICKS A LITTLE
IN THIRD GEAR,

BUT JUST HIT THE CLOCK.

WELL.

I GUESS THAT'S ABOUT IT.

I KNOW YOU THINK I'M
CRAZY, BUT CARVELLI TOLD ME

HOW MUCH THEY PAY
VICE PRINCIPALS UP THERE.

WHILE YOU'RE SLAVING
AWAY FOR PEANUTS,

I WILL BE GETTING
5,000 GRETNAS A WEEK!

I THINK HE'S FINALLY LOST IT.

I DON'T KNOW, JULIE.

5,000 GRETNAS.

THAT'S A LOT OF SHMOYLETTEN.

ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, COUNTDOWN
STARTS IN FIVE MINUTES.

DON'T FORGET TO
GET YOUR SOUVENIRS.

THE MORE YOU BUY, THE
MORE THE YORKSLITES

ARE GONNA LIKE YOU, BALLOONS.

BUMPER STICKERS.

YOU'LL GET YOUR CORKSIL

WHEN YOU SEE YORKSL,
DON'T MOAN OR GROAN

'CAUSE WE AIN'T ALONE.

ALL RIGHT, NOW
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,

COULD I HAVE YOUR
ATTENTION, PLEASE?

THE NATIONAL AERONAUTICS
AND SPACE ADMINISTRATION

IN COOPERATION WITH
CARVELLI ENTERPRISES,

IS PLEASED TO PRESENT
AN EVENING WITH YORKSL.

BUT FIRST, I'D LIKE
TO, UH, TO INTRODUCE

THE BRAVE MAN WHO'S
GONNA BE MAKING

THE RETURN TRIP,

THE VICE PRINCIPAL OF BUCHANAN,

AND FORMER SAFETY
OFFICER ON THE HINDENBURG,

HERE'S WOODMAN!

READY FOR BLAST-OFF, CARVELLI.

YEAH, I CAN SEE
THAT, MR. WOODMAN.

I GOT A QUESTION
FOR YOU, THOUGH.

WHAT'S IN THE BAG?

LINGUINI AND WHITE CLAM
SAUCE, GARLIC BREAD,

AND A CARAFE OF
CHABLIS, I DIDN'T KNOW

WHETHER THEY SERVED
DINNERS ON THE FLIGHT.

GOT NO SILVERWARE?

DON'T NEED ANY.

IN SPACE, THE FOOD JUST
FLOATS INTO YOUR MOUTH.

OH YEAH, HEY, MURRAY.

IT'S ABOUT THAT TIME,
WHY DON'T YOU, UH,

START THE COUNTDOWN?

ONE.

TWO, THREE... MURRAY,
MURRAY, MURRAY.

YOU'RE COUNTING THE
WRONG WAY, MURRAY.

THAT'S WHY YOU'RE
NOT COMING WITH ME.

ALL RIGHT, COME ON NOW, HERE.

FIVE, FOUR, THREE, TWO, ONE...

WELL, THAT CONCLUDES
THE LANDING PORTION

OF THIS EVENING'S SHOW,
THANK YOU VERY MUCH

FOR YOUR SUPPORT, AND
THERE WILL ALWAYS BE

A YORKSLITE ON YOUR PORCH LIGHT.

YOU KNOW, IT LOOKS
LIKE TO ME, CARVELLI,

THAT YOU RIPPIN'
THESE PEOPLE OFF.

AW, WHAT'S THE
MATTER, YOU GUYS UPSET

'CAUSE I MADE YOUR WHOLE
SCHOOL LOOK FOOLISH?

YOU AIN'T GETTIN'
AWAY WITH IT, CARVELLI.

- THAT'S RIGHT.
- YEAH?

ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT,
LOOK. CALM DOWN.

VIOLENCE NEVER SOLVED ANYTHING.

WE DON'T WANT TO SOLVE
ANYTHING, MR. KOTTER.

WE JUST WANT TO
HURT HIM. STOP ME.

TAKE IT EASY.

EVERYTHING'S GONNA
BE ALL RIGHT. SO...

THEY'RE HERE.

THEY MUST'VE BEEN
HELD UP IN TRAFFIC.



CARVELLI.

IT IS TIME TO DEPART.

HUH?

YORKSL AWAITS YOU, CARVELLI.

ARE... ARE YOU TALKING TO ME?

YOU MUST BE PUNISHED.

PUNISHED? HEY, LOOK,
IT WAS JUST A JOKE.

THERE IS NO HUMOR ON YORKSL.

ONLY TORTURE.

AND DANCING.

LOOK, LOOK, I DIDN'T HURT
ANYBODY AND I THOUGHT...

LOOK, HEY, LOOK,
YOU WANT THE MONEY?

HERE, TAKE THE MONEY,
WHATEVER YOU NEED, LOOK.

JUST DON'T DO NOTHING
TO ME, ALL RIGHT?

ALL RIGHT.

HA-HA-HA!

HEY, CARVELLI. HEY,
CARVELLI, WHAT HAPPENED?

SHE OUTSCAMMED YOUR SCHEME.

HEY, CARVELLI.

MAY THE FORCE BE UP YOUR NOSE!

CARVELLI, CARVELLI WAS
GOIN', "OH, IT WAS ONLY A JOKE

BELIEVE ME."

ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT,
COME ON, THAT'S ENOUGH.

WHO IS THIS CHICK?

OH, THIS IS MY WIFE, JULIE.

THAT'S WHERE
YOU'RE WRONG, HONEY.

I AM FROM YORKSL

AND IT IS TIME FOR ME TO DEPART.

TAKE ME WITH YOU.

PLEASE?

OH.

ALL RIGHT.

YOU LOOK LIKE A NICE
ENOUGH LITTLE FELLER.



WOW, LOOK, CHECK IT OUT.

THEY'RE TALKING OFF.

YEAH, WITHOUT A SPACESHIP,

HOW DID THEY DO THAT?

MY WIFE.

THE YORKSLITE.



KOTTER?

OH, MR. WOODMAN.

I'M SORRY.

I WAS DAYDREAMING.

WELL, NOT ON
COMPANY TIME, KOTTER.

I THOUGHT YOU BELIEVED
CARVELLI'S STORY

AND YOU AND JULIE WENT
TO YORKSLITE WITH HIM.

WELL, I DON'T BLAME
JULIE FOR WANTING TO GO.

YOU NEVER TAKE HER ANYWHERE.

YOU GET IT, KOTTER?

OH, KOTTER.

BY THE WAY.

THE NEXT TIME YOU DREAM,
DREAM OF A RAISE IN PAY.

IT'S THE ONLY TIME
YOU'RE GONNA GET ONE!

HEY, FREDDIE, HOW YOU DOING?

HEY, WHAT'S
HAPPENING, MR. KOTTER?

COME ON, YOU COMING IN?

NO, I'M GONNA CATCH UP WITH
YOU IN A MINUTE, ALL RIGHT?

WAIT, WAIT A MINUTE, MR. KOTTER,

HOLD UP, HOLD UP,

HEY, DID I EVER TELL YOU
ABOUT MY AUNT MABEL?

- NO, YOU NEVER DID.
- I NEVER... OOH.

THAT'S THE UGLIEST
WOMAN IN THE WORLD

THAT I EVER SAW!

HOW UGLY IS SHE?

MAN, SHE'S SO UGLY THAT MY UNCLE

BOUGHT HER A RUBBER PILLOW.

WHY'D HE BUY HER
A RUBBER PILLOW?

'CAUSE HE WANTED TO SEE IF
SHE COULD ERASE HER FACE.

HA-HA-HA!

BOUGHT HER A RUBBER PILLOW... ♪

♪ WELCOME BACK ♪

♪ YOUR DREAMS WERE
YOUR TICKET OUT ♪

♪ WELCOME BACK ♪

♪ TO THAT SAME OLD PLACE
THAT YOU LAUGHED ABOUT ♪

♪ WELL THE NAMES
HAVE ALL CHANGED

SINCE YOU HUNG AROUND ♪

♪ BUT THOSE DREAMS HAVE REMAINED

AND THEY'VE TURNED AROUND ♪

♪ WHO'D HAVE THOUGHT
THEY'D LEAD YOU ♪

♪ WHO'D HAVE THOUGHT
THEY'D LEAD YOU ♪

♪ BACK HERE WHERE WE NEED YA ♪

♪ BACK HERE WHERE WE NEED YA ♪

♪ YEAH WE TEASE HIM A LOT

'CAUSE WE GOT HIM ON THE SPOT ♪

♪ WELCOME BACK ♪

♪ WELCOME BACK, WELCOME
BACK, WELCOME BACK ♪

♪ WELCOME BACK, WELCOME BACK ♪

♪ WELCOME BACK ♪

♪ WE ALWAYS COULD
SPOT A FRIEND ♪

♪ WELCOME BACK ♪

♪ AND I SMILE WHEN I THINK... ♪♪