Welcome Back, Kotter (1975–1979): Season 3, Episode 23 - Goodbye, Mr. Kripps - full transcript

MY UNCLE BALZAC...
WAS A MERCENARY.

ONE TIME, HE WAS IN
THE COUNTRY OF BOSNIA

WHEN HE WAS CAUGHT
FOR HIS MERCENARY DEEDS,

AND HE WAS PUT IN
FRONT OF A FIRING SQUAD.

WHAT HAPPENED TO
UNCLE BALZAC, DEAR?

WHAT HAPPENED, WELL,
THE GENERAL CAME OVER

AND HE'S ABOUT TO PUT
THE BLINDFOLD... HE WAS

THE GENERAL OF BOSNIA.

HE CAME OVER, ABOUT
TO PUT THE BLINDFOLD ON...

WHAT DID THE GENERAL OF
BOSNIA SAY TO YOUR UNCLE?

HE SAID, WE'RE
GOING TO SHOOT YOU



THROUGH THE HEART AND
THROUGH THE PANCREAS.

AND MY UNCLE
SAID, YOU ARE A PIG.

YOUR COUNTRY IS RUN BY PIGS.

YOU HAVE PIGS IN YOUR STREETS
AND PIGS IN YOUR PARLIAMENT.

AND THERE'S PIGS IN YOUR PIGS.

WHAT DID THE
GENERAL SAY TO THAT?

HE SAID, LOOK, IF YOU
KEEP TALKIN' THIS WAY,

YOU'RE GONNA BE IN BIG TROUBLE.



♪ WELCOME BACK ♪

♪ YOUR DREAMS WERE
YOUR TICKET OUT ♪

♪ WELCOME BACK ♪

♪ TO THAT SAME OLD PLACE
THAT YOU LAUGHED ABOUT ♪

♪ WELL THE NAMES
HAVE ALL CHANGED



SINCE YOU HUNG AROUND ♪

♪ BUT THOSE DREAMS HAVE REMAINED

AND THEY'VE TURNED AROUND ♪

♪ WHO'D HAVE THOUGHT
THEY'D LEAD YA ♪

♪ WHO'D HAVE THOUGHT
THEY'D LEAD YA ♪

♪ BACK HERE WHERE WE NEED YA ♪

♪ BACK HERE WHERE WE NEED YA ♪

♪ YEAH, WE TEASE HIM A LOT

'CAUSE WE GOT HIM ON THE SPOT ♪

♪ WELCOME BACK ♪

♪ WELCOME BACK, WELCOME
BACK, WELCOME BACK ♪

OKAY.

NOW, WHO CAN TELL ME WHEN
THE FIRST TRANSCONTINENTAL

FLIGHT WAS?

I THINK IT WAS 1911.

RIGHT, 1911, NOW, WHY WAS
THAT FLIGHT SIGNIFICANT?

THE PLANE TOOK OFF ON TIME.

WHAT ELSE?

OH, OH, OH, OH, OH, OH!

IT WAS THE FIRST TIME AN AIRLINE
LOST SOMEBODY'S LUGGAGE.

YES, AND YOU KNOW IN THOSE
DAYS, THEY DIDN'T HAVE MOVIES.

THE PILOT JUST PASSED
AROUND SNAP SHOTS

OF HIS VACATION.

OKAY, I THINK IT'S IMPORTANT
FOR YOU PEOPLE TO...

WELL, WELL, WELL, WELL,
WELL, LOOK WHAT WE HAVE HERE.

ONLY 15 MINUTES LATE.

WHAT DO YOU GUYS
BOTHER COMING AT ALL?

WELL, THAT'S WHAT I TOLD THEM,
BUT THEY WOULDN'T LISTEN TO ME.

WELL, WHERE WERE YOU?

AH, OLD MAN KRIPPS, HE KEPT
US LATE AFTER SHOP CLASS AGAIN.

BUT HERE, I CARVED YA A NOTE.

MR. KOTTER, IF THEY'RE
LATE, I'M SURE IT'S FOR

A VERY GOOD REASON.

THAT'S RIGHT, MR. KOTAIR,
IT AIN'T OUR FAULT.

MR. KRIPPS WAS YELLIN' SO
LOUD, WE NEVER HEARD THE BELL.

HE WAS TELLIN' US THE DIFFERENCE
BETWEEN US AND HUMAN BEINGS.

IT TOOK HIM A REAL LONG TIME.

YOU KNOW, KRIPPS HAS
NEVER LIKED SWEATHOGS.

I REMEMBER WHEN I
WENT TO SCHOOL HERE,

HE USED TO TRY
AND KEEP MY FRIEND

BANZO MORETTI AFTER SCHOOL.

WASN'T EASY, HE HAD TO
PUT HIS HEAD IN THE VICE.

OKAY, WHAT HAPPENED TODAY?

EVERYTHING WAS ALL RIGHT...

NO, EVERYTHING WAS ALL
RIGHT UNTIL, UNTIL VINNIE

STARTED TO USE
THAT ELECTRIC SAW.

I USED IT TO CUT UP A SALAMI.

VINNIE, YOU DO NOT
USE AN ELECTRIC SAW

TO SLICE YOUR SALAMI.

OH, I DIDN'T USE IT
TO SLICE MY SALAMI.

I USED IT TO SLICE
MR. KRIPPS' SALAMI.

CHECK IT OUT, CHECK
IT OUT, CHECK IT OUT,

THAT WASN'T SO BAD.

BUT VINNIE'S JUDGMENT
WAS A LITTLE BIT OFF,

AND HE COULDN'T TELL
WHERE THE SALAMI STOPPED

AND THE DESK STARTED.

YOU SLICED HIS DESK?

YEAH, INTO NICE, THIN SLICES.

IT WAS DELICIOUS, RIGHT?

YOU KNOW, MR. KRIPPS
HAS A BAD TEMPER.

WHY DON'T YOU GUYS
LEAVE HIM ALONE?

OH, COME ON, MR. KOTTER,
SOMETIMES WE JUST CAN'T HELP IT.

HE'S RIGHT, MR. KOTAIR.

IT'S JUST SO MUCH FUN TO
MAKE HIM MAD, YOU KNOW?

YOU KNOW WHAT, YOU SHOULD
CHECK OUT THE WAY THAT HIS LIP

CAN CURL UP AND DO SOMERSAULTS.

AND THEN, AND THEN, HIS EYES
ROLL SO FAR BACK INTO HIS HEAD,

HE CAN SEE WHAT HE'S THINKIN'.

YEAH, YEAH, BUT VINNIE'S
THE BEST, YOU KNOW?

VINNIE, HE GETS HIM SO
MAD, THAT THE VEINS START

BULGING OUT IN HIS NECK,
ALL DIFFERENT COLORS

LIKE A SUBWAY MAP.

LOOK, GUYS, COME
ON, LAY OFF THE GUY.

HE'S GONNA RETIRE NEXT YEAR.

OH, HE CAN'T RETIRE NEXT
YEAR, I WANT HIM TO QUIT.

BARBARINO!

THIS HAS TO BE YOURS.

YEAH, JUST... JUST
PUT IT ANYWHERE.

GOOD MORNING, MR. KRIPPS.

THAT'S YOUR OPINION.

WHAT IS THIS PIECE OF JUNK?

IT'S A HEAD BOARD
FOR A WATER BED.

I TOOK THE DANGER
OUT OF SLEEPING.

KOTTER, I WANNA SEE
THIS MORON IN MY OFFICE.

RIGHT NOW!

MR. KRIPPS, CAN IT WAIT
'TILL AFTER THIS CLASS?

NO, IT CAN'T WAIT, KOTTER!

I WANT HIM NOW.

BUT YOU'RE RIGHT IN
THE MIDDLE OF MY CLASS.

NOW, KOTTER.

NOW!

MR. KOTTER, I'D BETTER GO.

I DON'T WANT HIM
TO LOSE HIS TEMPER.

YOU KNOW, WHEN MR. KRIPPS
RETIRES, HE'S GONNA BECOME

THE LOUD SPEAKER
SYSTEM AT YANKEE STADIUM.

OKAY, WHAT WERE
WE TALKIN' ABOUT?

THE FIRST
TRANSCONTINENTAL FLIGHT.

NOW, WHAT CONTRIBUTION DID
THE WRIGHT BROTHERS MAKE?

OH, WELL I KNOW ALL ABOUT THAT.

YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING
ABOUT THE WRIGHT BROTHERS.

OH, YES I DO.

- DO NOT.
- DO SO.

- DO NOT.
- DO SO.

DO NOT!

WATCH THIS.

♪ YOU LOST THAT
LOVE YOU FEELIN' ♪

♪ WHOA, THAT
LOVE YOU'S FEELIN' ♪

♪ YOU LOST...♪♪

YOU WANNA HEAR A GOOD
VOCAL, LISTEN TO KRIPPS

SCREAMING HIS LUNGS
OUT AT BARBARINO.

THE MAN'S A PRINCE.

MR. WOODMAN, SCREAMING
DOES NOT A GOOD TEACHER MAKE.

YOU'RE RIGHT, YOU ALSO
NEED A WHIP AND A CHAIR.

WHAT ABOUT BARBED WIRE,
SEARCH LIGHTS AND GUARD DOGS?

IT'S A GOOD IDEA,
KOTTER, I'LL TRY TO GET IT

IN THE NEXT SCHOOL BUDGET.

ALL RIGHT, COME
ON, LET'S GET BACK...

MR. KOTTER, MR. KOTTER, I
THINK MR. KRIPPS IS DEAD.

- WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
- WHAT ARE YOU TALKING...

ALLS I KNOW THAT I WAS
OUT IN THE HALL AND HE WAS

YELLIN' AT ME, AND THEN
HE GRABBED HIS HEART,

AND HE FELL TO THE GROUND.

HE STOPPED BREATHING.

I GOT SCARED.

I CALLED THE NURSE.

WELL, WHAT SHE SAY?

I DON'T KNOW, I
GOT SCARED, I LEFT.

WELL, LET'S GO OUT AND SEE IF...

WHAT HAPPENED,
DID MR. KRIPPS FAINT?

IT WAS NO FAINT, MR. KOTTER.

MR. KRIPPS IS DEAD.

WHAT A ROTTEN DAY
TO HAVE A FUNERAL.

I HATE FEBRUARY FUNERALS.

YOU MEAN THERE ARE GOOD
MONTHS FOR FUNERALS?

JUNE, JULY ARE ALL RIGHT.

AUGUST, OF COURSE, IS TOO HOT.

INCIDENTALLY, THE
BEST PLACE TO DIE

IS FORT LAUDERDALE.

HAVE YOU BEEN GETTING
BROCHURES, MR. WOODMAN?

HI, GUYS.

- HI, HONEY.
- HEY, MRS. KOTAIR.

- HOW YA DOIN'?
- I'M OKAY.

I GUESS IT WAS
PRETTY ROUGH, HUH?

WELL, LOOK, I'VE GOT
SOME NICE HOT SOUP

ALL READY FOR YA.

OH, NOT ME, HONEY, I
COULDN'T EAT A THING.

YOU SURE?

- ME NEITHER.
- NO, THANK YOU.

YEAH, NONE FOR ME.

I COULD EAT A HORSE.

MR. WOODMAN, DON'T
TAKE IT SO HARD.

ALL RIGHT, I'LL HAVE SOME SOUP.

SO, TELL ME ALL ABOUT IT.

OH, NO, WAS IT A NICE FUNE...

LET ME TRY ANOTHER ONE.

DID YOU HAVE A GOOD TIME?

NO.

TRY, WAS IT A DIGNIFIED SERVICE?

OKAY, WAS IT A
DIGNIFIED SERVICE?

YEAH, IT WAS, BUT IT
WAS KIND OF STRANGE.

THE ORGANIST WAS PLAYING
IF I WERE A CARPENTER.

OH, BUT THE MOST BEAUTIFUL
PART OF THE EULOGY

WAS WHEN THE MINISTER
SAID, BUCHANAN MAY HAVE LOST

A TEACHER,

BUT HEAVEN HAS
GAINED A HANDY MAN.

HALLELUJAH.

AMEN.

WHERE'S VINNIE,
WASN'T HE WITH YOU?

HERE, MR. WOODMAN.

HE WANTED TO WALK
HOME FROM THE CEMETERY.

SAID HE NEEDED TIME TO THINK.

OH, VINNIE'S TAKING
IT ALL VERY HARD.

HE EVEN OFFERED TO
MARRY THE WIDOW KRIPPS.

BUT SHE SAID SHE'S IN
MOURNING AND TO GIVE HER A CALL

IN A COUPLE DAYS.

YEAH, VINNIE EVEN SWIPED THE
WREATH TO GO ON THE GRAVE.

I THINK HE SWIPED THE
WRONG ONE THOUGH.

IT SAID, GOOD LUCK IN
YOUR NEW LOCATION.

FROM ALL THE GANG
AT NICK'S BAR AND GRILL.

HONEY, DON'T YOU THINK YOU
BETTER HAVE A TALK WITH VINNIE?

I DID, IT TOOK ME A HALF
HOUR TO CONVINCE HIM

NOT TO WEAR A VEIL.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S
GOT INTO VINNIE.

HE SEEMS TO BLAME HIMSELF
NOW FOR ALL THE PROBLEMS

OF THE WORLD.

I'LL GET THAT, MAYBE THAT'S HIM.

VINNIE, COME ON IN,
WE'RE WORRIED ABOUT YOU.

YOU WAS WORRIED ABOUT ME?

I'M SORRY YOU WAS
WORRIED ABOUT ME.

I'LL LEAVE NOW.

WHERE YOU GOING?

VINNIE, COME ON IN.

IT STILL RAINING OUT
THERE, BARBARINO?

YES, MR. WOODMAN, AND I'M SORRY.

YOU SHOULD BE, IT'S YOUR FAULT.

MR. WOODMAN, YOU KNOW, YOU
WAS ALWAYS RIGHT ABOUT ME.

YOU KNOW, I WAS NEVER NO GOOD.

HORSHACK, I'M SORRY I
BROKE YOUR DUMP TRUCK.

VINNIE, THAT HAPPENED WHEN
WE WAS THREE YEARS OLD.

I KNOW, I WAS BORN BAD.

AND EPSTEIN, I'M SORRY
'BOUT YOUR FATHER'S HAIR.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKIN' ABOUT?

MY FATHER'S BALD.

I KNOW, I'M SORRY.

VINNIE, VINNIE, COME ON
YOU GOTTA STOP THIS NOW.

COME ON, YOU GOTTA
PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER.

YOU GOTTA STOP APOLOGIZING.

YOU'RE RIGHT, I'M SORRY.

VINNIE, LISTEN.

LOOK AT ME, WHAT
HAPPENED TO MR. KRIPPS

IT WASN'T YOUR FAULT.

IT'S NO USE, MR. KOTTER.

DON'T TRY TO TALK ME OUT OF IT.

I KNOW WHAT I DID.

I MISS MR. KRIPPS.

I MISS HIM SO MUCH.

THE WAY HE USED
TO HAVE THOSE NAILS

THAT WOULD HANG
OUT OF HIS MOUTH.

AND IN THE MORNING,
HE USED TO SAY,

YOU'RE NO GOOD,
VINNIE, YOU'RE NOTHIN',

YOU'RE NOTHIN'.

HE WAS A SAINT.

SAINT KRIPPS.

AND THE SMELL OF THAT
TURPENTINE AND THAT FILTHY SMOCK.

ALL RIGHT, THAT'S ENOUGH.

VINNIE, THAT'S ENOUGH.

YOU'RE TAKING IT TOO FAR.

HEY, YOU GUYS DON'T NO NOTHIN'.

I MURDERED A MAN.

AND I'M RESPONSIBLE,
I'M GONNA PAY FOR IT.

THIS IS GOOD SOUP, JULIE.

YEAH, MRS. FINKLE,
I TOLD YOU BEFORE.

THIS HERE IS HOMICIDE.

WE CAN'T ARREST
YOUR SUPERINTENDENT.

HOW DO YOU KNOW
HE'S A CUBAN SPY?

LOTS OF PEOPLE PLAY BONGOS.

LOOK, MRS. FINKLE, IF I
WAS YOU, I'D PAY MY RENT.

RIGHT, GOOD BYE.

NEVER FAILS.

FIVE MINUTES LEFT ON MY
SHIFT, AND I GET A SCREWBALL.

YEAH, WHAT CAN I DO FOR YOU?

I COME TO TURN MYSELF IN.

COULDN'T COME BACK IN
FIVE MINUTES, COULD YOU?

NO, I GOTTA DO IT NOW
'CAUSE I KILLED A MAN.

HEY, EDDIE.

GOT IT.

EDDIE, LOOK YOU GOTTA
PUT ME AWAY RIGHT AWAY.

PUT ME IN SOLITUDE.

GIVE ME A BLACK AND WHITE
TV, THE WORST YOU GOT, RIGHT?

GIVE ME BREAD AND WATER AND
TAKE MY HAIRBRUSH AWAY FROM ME.

COME HERE, KID.

SIT DOWN.

YOU WANNA TELL ME ABOUT IT?

I GOT NO TIME TO
TALK TO YA, EDDIE.

JUST ROUGH ME UP.

DO WHATEVER YOU WANT.

I BELIEVE IN POLICE BRUTALITY.

WHAT DO YOU GUYS USE NOW,
YOU USE THE RUBBER HOSES

OR WHAT?

NO, TEFLON IS IN THIS YEAR.

DOESN'T STICK.

BUT LET'S GET SERIOUS.

YOU HAVE THE RIGHT
TO REMAIN SILENT.

RIGHTS, RIGHTS, I DON'T GOT
NO RIGHTS, I DON'T DESERVE 'EM.

WILL YOU LET ME FINISH?

IF YOU GIVE UP THAT
RIGHT, ANYTHING YOU SAY

CAN AND WILL BE USED AGAINST YA.

GOOD, THANK YOU.

YOU'RE WELCOME.

NEXT, YOU HAVE A PHONE CALL.

TELL 'EM I AIN'T HERE.

ALL RIGHT, WHERE
DID THE CRIME OCCUR?

ALL RIGHT, THE CRIME
OCCURRED IN THE BUCHANAN

HIGH SCHOOL HALLWAY.

BUCHANAN HIGH SCHOOL HALLWAY.

NO, DON'T USE
HALLWAY, USE CORRIDOR.

CORRIDOR.

NO, NO DON'T USE CORRIDOR,
USE DARK CORRIDOR.

IT SOUNDS WORSE.

CAN YOU GIVE ME THE
APPROXIMATE TIME?

TIME?

IT'S A QUARTER TO 12 RIGHT NOW.

I DIDN'T MEAN THAT TIME.

NOT THE TIME NOW.

WHAT TIME DID THE CRIME OCCUR?

I DON'T KNOW.

LOOK, EDDIE, THIS
IS MY FIRST MURDER.

I DIDN'T WEAR A WATCH.

ALL RIGHT, WEAPON?

MY MOUTH.

YOUR MOUTH?

IS YOUR TONGUE LOADED NOW?

HEY, LOOK, HOW COME IT'S SO
HARD TO GET ARRESTED THESE DAYS?

WHEN I WAS A KID, MY
UNCLE LINZIO, HE JUST

WAS A PICK POCKET
AND HE USED TO BE ABLE

TO GET ARRESTED LIKE THAT.

OKAY, KID, WHAT WAS
THE VICTIM'S NAME?

KRIPPS.

FIRST NAME?

MISTER.

GOOD-BYE, MR. KRIPPS.

WE COULDN'T FIND HIM NOWHERE.

YEAH, MR. KOTTER, WE'RE
GETTIN' REAL WORRIED

ABOUT VINNIE NOW.

- YEAH, MAN.
- YEAH, SO AM I.

I CALLED HIS HOUSE.

HIS MOTHER'S OUT
LOOKIN' FOR HIM TOO.

- I SPOKE TO HIS GRANDMOTHER.
- WHAT SHE SAY?

I DON'T KNOW, MY
ITALIAN'S A LITTLE RUSTY.

OH, I HOPE VINNIE
DON'T BECOME A MONK.

THEY'RE GONNA SHAVE HIS
HEAD, AND PUT HIS PICTURE

ON A WINE BOTTLE.

WELL, LOOK, WHILE YOU GUYS
HAVE BEEN OUT WASTIN' TIME,

I BEEN OUT DOIN' SOME REAL WORK.

NOW, WHAT WE GOTTA
DO IS WE GOTTA FORGET

WHERE WE THINK VINNIE IS.

WE GOTTA ELIMINATE
THE PLACES THAT HE AIN'T.

NOW, WE CAN ASSUME THAT HE
AIN'T GONNA BE AT THE LIBRARY.

AND HE AIN'T GONNA
BE AT THE BALLET,

OR THE OPERA, THE ART MUSEUM

OR THE SYMPHONY WHICH LEADS ME

TO ONE CONCLUSION.

WHAT?

WE DON'T NEED THIS LIST.

NOW, WHERE IS HE?

LOOK, I THINK IT WOULD
BE A GOOD IDEA IF YOU GUYS

TRY TO FIND HIM IN
THE PLACES THAT...

ARE YOU MR. KOTTER?

YES, CAN I HELP YOU?

YEAH, I'M DETECTIVE
LIEUTENANT LASKY, HOMICIDE.

NOW, LOOKY HERE, OFFICER, I
PUT THAT SAUSAGE IN MY SOCK

BECAUSE I HAD SIX
ITEMS, AND I WAS IN

A SEVEN ITEM LINE.

I DON'T CARE WHERE
YOU PUT THE SAUSAGE!

I'M HERE TO INVESTIGATE
A POSSIBLE MURDER,

POSSIBLY PERPETRATED
BY ONE VINCENT BARBARINO.

COOL IT, COOL IT.

LOOK, OFFICER, THIS
HAS TO BE A MISTAKE.

WHO WAS MURDERED?

A MR. KRIPPS.

CALM DOWN, WILL YA?

LOOK, I CAN EXPLAIN THIS
WHOLE THING, YOU SEE MR...

LOOK, LET ME BE
THE DETECTIVE, OKAY?

LIONEL, BRING IN THE SUSPECT.

- OH, NO.
- HEY, VINNIE!

- OH, VINNIE.
- WHAT HAPPENED?

WHAT THEY DO TO YOU, SON?

OH, VINNIE, VINNIE.

TAKE A PIECE OF ADVICE FROM
AN OLD AND VERY GOOD FRIEND.

RUN, VINNIE, RUN!

I TURNED MYSELF IN.

VINNIE, HOW COULD
YOU DO THIS TO ME?

HOW COULD YOU RAT
ON YOUR OWN SELF?

'CAUSE I'M GUILTY,
JUAN, THAT'S WHY.

WHY MAKE THEIR JOB ANY EASIER?

OFFICER, IF YOU'LL GIVE ME A
SECOND, I CAN CLEAR THIS UP.

DO ME A FAVOR, PROFESSOR,
DON'T CLEAR IT UP.

LEAVE IT MUDDY, OKAY?

I WANNA ASK A FEW QUESTIONS.

- YOU.
- WHAT, WHAT, WHAT!

WHAT IS YOUR NAME?

FREDDIE WASHINGTON, SIR.

OFFICER, THIS IS
ABSOLUTELY RIDICULOUS.

SAVE IT, PROFESSOR.

GO 'HEAD, LINCOLN.

THAT'S WASHINGTON, SIR.

WELL, WELL YOU SEE, MR. KRIPPS
USUALLY STARTED CLASS

- BY YELLING AT VINNIE.
- THEN WHAT?

THEN HE'D SANDPAPER HIS
THROAT AND YELL AT VINNIE AGAIN.

SO, WHAT YOU'RE SAYING
HERE IS THAT THIS MR. KRIPPS

HAD A TEMPER, RIGHT?

YES, SIR.

ALL RIGHT, ANYBODY ELSE
GOT ANYTHING TO ADD?

I REFUSE TO TESTIFY
ON THE GROUNDS.

YOU MAY INCINERATE ME.

WHAT DID YOU GUYS DO,
ESCAPE FROM A JUVENILE COURT?

GET OUT OF HERE,
EVERYBODY CLEAR OUT.

ALL RIGHT, LET'S
GO TO THE MOVIES.

NOT YOU, BARBARINO, STAY.

HEY, VINNIE, ONE
MORE PIECE OF ADVICE.

YOU'RE IN TROUBLE ENOUGH.

STAY AWAY FROM THE
WARDEN'S DAUGHTER.

VINNIE, CHIN UP, MAN.

I'LL BE WAITIN' FOR YOU
WHEN... YOU GET OUT.

NOW LOOK, I WANT YOU TO
GET A JOB AT THE LAUNDRY

THIS WAY WHEN YOU COME
OUT, YOU LEARNED A TRADE.

I DON'T DESERVE GOOD
FRIENDS LIKE THAT.

NOBODY DOES.

PSST, HEY, VINNIE, IF YOU
SEE MY UNCLE UP THERE,

TELL HIM THANKS FOR
THEM LICENSE PLATES.

GET OUT!

PROFESSOR, YOU'VE BEEN
WANTING TO DO MY JOB

FOR ME EVER SINCE
I WALKED IN HERE.

I'M GONNA GIVE YOU A CHANCE.

GO AHEAD, TALK.

YOU SURE IT'S ALL RIGHT?

GO AHEAD.

BE MY GUEST.

THANK YOU.

MR. LEONARD KRIPPS
DIED FOUR DAYS AGO

OF A HEART ATTACK.

HE DID?

YEAH, BUT IT WAS MY FAULT.

VINNIE, IT WASN'T YOUR FAULT.

IT COULD'VE
HAPPENED AT ANY TIME.

YEAH, BUT I WAS THE
ONE WHO MADE HIM MAD.

THE WORLD MADE HIM MAD, VINNIE.

IT WASN'T YOUR FAULT.

- YES IT IS.
- VINNIE, IT ISN'T.

YES, IT IS!

YOU JUST HAPPENED TO BE THERE.

NO, IT'S, I DID IT.

YOU DIDN'T DO IT.

- I DID.
- NO, YOU DIDN'T.

- I DID!
- HOLD IT!

I'M GETTIN' A WHIP LASH HERE.

VINNIE, COME OVER HERE.

SIT DOWN A SECOND.

LOOK, RIGHT AFTER THE
FUNERAL, JULIE AND I WENT OVER

TO VISIT MRS. KRIPPS.

I KNOW, I SAW THAT, I
FEEL SO BAD ABOUT HER.

SHE TOLD ME THAT MR. KRIPPS
HAD A HEART CONDITION.

HIS DOCTOR TOLD HIM TO
RETIRE TWO YEARS AGO.

IF ANYBODY'S RESPONSIBLE
FOR MR. KRIPPS' DEATH,

IT'S MR. KRIPPS.

YOU'RE NOT JUST SAYIN'
THAT TO MAKE ME FEEL BETTER?

VINNIE, HE JUST WANTED TO TEACH.

I THINK YELLING AT YOU GUYS
WAS HIS GREATEST PLEASURE IN LIFE.

REALLY?

- REALLY.
- REALLY?

OH, WOW, I DON'T BELIEVE THIS.

NOW MY MOTHER CAN
STOP CALLING THE POPE.

YOU KNOW, IT'S A
TOLL CALL, YOU KNOW.

HEY, BARBARINO, COME HERE.

ANOTHER WASTED DAY.

LOOK, DO ME A FAVOR, WILL YA?

IF YOU EVER DO DECIDE
TO KILL SOMEBODY,

DO IT IN ANOTHER PRECINCT.

ALL RIGHT, 10-4.

HEY, GUYS, I'M A FREE MAN!

I GOT MY STIGMA REMOVED.

HEY, PROFESSOR, LET
ME ASK YOU SOMETHIN'.

YOU REALLY TEACH THESE GUYS?

I CAN'T HELP IT, I'M
IN IT FOR THE MONEY.

KOTTER, SOME JERK
PARKED A BLUE SEDAN

RIGHT BEHIND MY CAR,
AND I CAN'T GET OUT.

YOU KNOW WHAT I DID?

I KICKED HIS FENDER, I
GAVE IT QUITE A DENT.

IT SOUNDS LIKE MY VEHICLE.

OH, YEAH, WELL WHY
DON'T YOU MOVE IT, STUPID?

MR. WOODMAN, I'D LIKE YOU TO
MEET POLICE LIEUTENANT LASKY.

NICE CAR, HOW IS IT ON GAS?

WHY DON'T WE FIND OUT?

COME ON, TAKE A RIDE WITH
ME DOWN TO THE PRECINCT.

OH, IT'S JUST A
SMALL DENT, OFFICER.

I CAN'T KICK VERY
HARD, I'M AN OLD MAN.

TELL HIM, KOTTER.

HE'S OLD.

MR. WOODMAN, WE HAVE
A LOT OF OLD PEOPLE

DOWN THERE ON THE ROW.

THERE'S ONE GUY
BY THE NAME OF AL,

HE'S A LIFER, YOU'LL LOVE HIM.

HE'LL TEACH YA HOW TO KNIT.

COME ON.

OH, MR. WOODMAN, HE
DIDN'T TAKE YOU TO JAIL?

NO, HE JUST TOOK THE NUMBER
OF MY INSURANCE COMPANY.

YOU EVER HAD ANY UNCLES IN JAIL?

ARE YOU ASKING ME TO
TELL YOU AN UNCLE JOKE?

WELL, ANYTHING WOULD
CHEER ME UP AFTER THAT.

OKAY, I HAD AN UNCLE WILLIE
WHO WAS IN JAIL FOR 99 YEARS.

- 99 YEARS?
- 99 YEARS.

ONE DAY, THEY THREW
ANOTHER PRISONER IN JAIL.

MY UNCLE SAID, HOW
LONG YOU IN FOR?

THE GUY SAYS, 98 YEARS.

MY UNCLE SAID, WELL YOU
TAKE THE BED NEAR THE DOOR.

YOU'RE GETTIN' OUT FIRST.

YOU OUGHTA DO TIME
FOR THAT JOKE, KOTTER.



♪ WELCOME BACK ♪

♪ YOUR DREAMS WERE
YOUR TICKET OUT ♪

♪ WELCOME BACK ♪

♪ TO THAT SAME OLD PLACE
THAT YOU LAUGHED ABOUT ♪

♪ WELL THE NAMES
HAVE ALL CHANGED

SINCE YOU HUNG AROUND ♪

♪ BUT THOSE DREAMS HAVE REMAINED

AND THEY'VE TURNED AROUND ♪

♪ WHO'D HAVE THOUGHT
THEY'D LEAD YOU ♪

♪ WHO'D HAVE THOUGHT
THEY'D LEAD YOU ♪

♪ BACK HERE WHERE WE NEED YA ♪

♪ BACK HERE WHERE WE NEED YA ♪

♪ YEAH WE TEASE HIM A LOT

'CAUSE WE GOT HIM ON THE SPOT ♪

♪ WELCOME BACK ♪

♪ WELCOME BACK, WELCOME
BACK, WELCOME BACK ♪

♪ WELCOME BACK, WELCOME BACK ♪

♪ WELCOME BACK ♪

♪ WE ALWAYS COULD
SPOT A FRIEND ♪♪