Welcome Back, Kotter (1975–1979): Season 3, Episode 2 - And Baby Makes Four: Part 1 - full transcript

WELL, YOU'RE GONNA
BE A DADDY PRETTY SOON.

WHO ME? WHAT DO I KNOW
ABOUT BEING A DADDY?

YOU'RE GONNA BE A GREAT DADDY,

DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.

YOU THINK SO?

BUT... I'M TOO YOUNG
TO BE A DADDY.

AND MUCH TOO CUTE.

DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT, YOU'RE
GONNA BE A GREAT DADDY.

YOU'RE GONNA BE AS GOOD A
DADDY AS MY UNCLE CHARLIE.

YOUR UNCLE CHARLIE?

OH, HOW WAS YOUR UNCLE
CHARLIE A GOOD DADDY?



WELL, I'M GLAD YOU ASKED, GABE.

SEE, MY UNCLE CHARLIE
AND MY AUNT TILLY

HAD FOUR KIDS, AND THEY USED UP

ALL THE GOOD NAMES.

OH REALLY?

YES, YOU SEE? THEY
USED UP KERMIT KOTTER,

AND YITZAH KOTTER, YOU
KNOW, ALL THE GOOD ONES.

SO THEY PUT ABOUT
15 OR 20 OTHER NAMES

INTO A HAT AND THEY DECIDED
TO PICK OUT ONE OF THE NAMES,

AND THAT'S WHAT THEY
WOULD CALL THE BABY.

WELL, THEN WHAT HAPPENED?

GLAD YOU ASKED.

YOU SEE, THEY PICKED OUT
A NAME AND YOU KNOW WHAT

THEY FINALLY WOUND
UP CALLING THE BABY?



WHAT?

SEVEN AND FIVE EIGHTHS KOTTER.

HA-HA-HA-HA.

I THINK YOU MIGHT
BE A GOOD DADDY,

BUT NOT A FUNNY ONE.



♪ WELCOME BACK ♪

♪ YOUR DREAMS WERE
YOUR TICKET OUT ♪

♪ WELCOME BACK ♪

♪ TO THAT SAME OLD PLACE
THAT YOU LAUGHED ABOUT ♪

♪ WELL THE NAMES
HAVE ALL CHANGED

SINCE YOU HUNG AROUND ♪

♪ BUT THOSE DREAMS HAVE REMAINED

AND THEY'VE TURNED AROUND ♪

♪ WHO'D HAVE THOUGHT
THEY'D LEAD YA ♪

♪ WHO'D HAVE THOUGHT
THEY'D LEAD YA ♪

♪ BACK HERE WHERE WE NEED YA ♪

♪ BACK HERE WHERE WE NEED YA ♪

♪ YEAH, WE TEASE HIM A LOT

'CAUSE WE GOT HIM ON THE SPOT ♪

♪ WELCOME BACK ♪

♪ WELCOME BACK, WELCOME
BACK, WELCOME BACK ♪♪



JULIE!

JULIE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

WHY ARE YOU BENDING DOWN?

DO YOU WANT THE
BABY TO BE BORN WITH

A BAD BACK?

HONEY, I COME FROM
HEALTHY MID-WESTERN STOCK.

THE DAY I WAS BORN, MY
MOTHER PLOWED A FIELD.

SIT DOWN, JUST SIT DOWN.

I DON'T WANNA KNOW ABOUT
YOUR MOTHER PLOWING FIELDS.

I COME FROM STURDY
BROOKLYN STOCK,

WHEN I WAS BORN MY
MOTHER FILLETED A WHITEFISH.

HONEY, I'LL BE FINE.

DR. MELMANN SAID I'M NOT
DUE FOR ANOTHER WEEK.

SIT DOWN!

NOW, YOU KNOW
THAT, AND I KNOW THAT.

MELMANN KNOWS THAT, BUT
DOES THE BABY KNOW THAT?

OKAY, YOU GOT YOUR STOPWATCH?

YES.

I CAN TIME MYSELF IN
THE 100 YARD WADDLE.

HA-HA-HA.

OKAY, NOW LISTEN
TO ME, CAREFULLY.

IF YOU'RE CONTRACTIONS
START... MY WHAT?

CONTRACTIONS.

- SAY IT!
- CONTRACTIONS.

GOOD!

OKAY, IF YOUR CONTRACTIONS
START, YOU TIME THEM.

WHEN THEY'RE FOUR
MINUTES A PART, YOU CALL ME.

IF YOUR WATER BREAKS,
DON'T TOUCH THE TOASTER.

THERE'S NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT.

THAT'S EASY FOR YOU TO
SAY, YOU'RE THE MOTHER.

SOMETHING HAPPENS,
YOU'RE GONNA BE HERE.

GABE, GO TO SCHOOL.

I'M GOING, I'M GOING.

BUT LOOK, LET'S GO OVER
OUR PLAN ONE MORE TIME.

IN CASE THE TIME
COMES AND I'M NOT HERE,

I WANT YOU TO PROMISE
ME IF I'M NOT HERE

THE TIME IS NOT GONNA COME.

PROMISE?

I PROMISE.

OKAY, BUT IF IT DOES
COME, YOU CALL A CAB,

THEN YOU CALL ME,
I CALL DR. MELMANN,

HE CALLS THE HOSPITAL,
AND I MEET YOU THERE.

GOT IT?

YEAH, I GOT IT.

OKAY, LET ME HEAR IT.

AGAIN?!

JULIE, IT'S IMPORTANT.

OKAY, IF THE TIME COMES
WHEN YOU'RE AT SCHOOL,

WHICH I PROMISE YOU IT WON'T,

I CALL THE CAB, I
CALL YOU AT SCHOOL,

YOU CALL DR. MELMANN,
HE CALLS THE HOSPITAL,

WE ALL MEET THERE!

YAY, I GOT IT!

OKAY, AND DON'T FORGET
TO BRING THE BABY.

I ALMOST FORGOT, I
LEFT WITHOUT TELLING

THE BABY A JOKE.

DID I EVER TELL YOU
ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED

TO MY COUSIN EDDIE
WHEN HE WAS 8 YEARS OLD?

HE WENT TO A SUPERMARKET
AND HE SAW A PREGNANT LADY.

HE WENT UP TO HER AND
HE SAID, "WHAT'S THAT?"

SHE SAID, "THAT'S MY BABY!"

HE SAID, "WELL, YOU DON'T
LIKE YOUR BABY, DO YOU?"

SHE SAYS, "I LOVE MY BABY!"

HE SAYS, "WELL, HOW
COME YOU ATE IT?"



AND WHAT'D YOU GO
THIS SUMMER, JUAN?

PERFORMED GREAT
COMMUNITY SERVICE

DURING THE OLD BLACKOUT.

YEAH, WHAT?

I WAS SERVING LEMONADE
TO THE LOOTERS.

YEAH, YOU CAN REALLY
WORK UP QUITE A THIRST

RUNNING AROUND WITH A
TV SET UNDER YOUR ARM.

YEAH, YEAH, HEY,
FREDDIE, WHY DON'T

YOU TELL HER WHAT
YOU DID THIS SUMMER?

UH, I HURT MY BACK.

AW, HOW?

RUNNING WITH A TV SET.

HELLO FELLOW EAGER YOUNG MINDS!

SO, ARE WE ALL READY
FOR ANOTHER EXCITING YEAR

OF ADVENTURES AND LEARNING?

WE STILL GOT 45 SECONDS
OF SUMMER VACATION LEFT.

BE COOL.

YOU GUYS NOTICE ANYTHING
DIFFERENT ABOUT ME?

YOU'RE SHORTER?

NO!

I REACHED PUBERTY.

I ALWAYS KNEW YOU HAD
IT IN YOU, LITTLE ARNOLD.

AH!

I GOT MY FIRST WHISKER.

I DON'T SEE NOTHING.

WELL, OF COURSE NOT, I
JUST TOOK MY FIRST SHAVE.

HEY, VINNIE, WAIT FOR US!

PRETEND I DON'T
KNOW YOU, ALL RIGHT?

HEY VINNIE, WANNA GO
STAND UNDER THE STAIRS

BETWEEN CLASSES AND
DO SOME SIGHTSEEING?

- BEAT IT!
- AW, COME ON VINNIE!

GO SOMEWHERE AND
SQUEEZE YOUR FACE.

GO ON, GET OUTTA HERE.

HEY YO, VINNIE, MY MAN.

WHO'S THEM PEOPLES.

THAT'S FELIS FELDMAN
AND BENNY MERETTI,

THE UP AND COMING DUMBBELLS.

OHH.

IT'S VERY DIFFICULT
TO BELIEVE THAT WE

EVER LOOKED LIKE THAT.

I DON'T WANNA GO.

I DON'T WANNA GO,
I DON'T WANNA GO!

EVERY YEAR YOU DO THIS!

NO! NO!

HEY YO, VINNIE, VINNIE, VINNIE!

NOW, COME ON, YOU
DON'T WANNA BE LATE

ON THE FIRST DAY OF
SCHOOL, NOW DO YOU?

I CAN'T GO IN THERE,
I GOT LEFT BACK.

BUT VINNIE!

YOU ARE ALREADY A SWEATHOG,

WHERE COULD THEY
LEAVE YOU BACK TO?

LEAVE ME BACK WITH
THOSE TWO DUMBBELLS,

THAT'S WHAT THEY COULD DO.

HOW COULD A THINK LIKE THIS
HAPPEN TO VINNIE BARBARINO?

YOU'RE NO DUMBER
THAN THE REST OF US.

MAYBE JUST A LITTLE.

OH, VINCENT, THIS
IS SUCH A TRAGEDY.

WE ALL HAD SUCH
LOW HOPES FOR YOU.

HEY VINNIE, LOOK,
DON'T LOOK AT IT LIKE...

LIKE YOU'RE GETTING LEFT BACK,

LOOK AT IT LIKE YOU
SORTA MAJORING

IN 10TH GRADE.

I FEEL LIKE A CRUMB,
YOU KNOW THAT?

I FEEL LIKE NOTHING.

I DON'T FEEL LIKE VINNIE
BARBARINO NO MORE, YOU KNOW?

SO, COME ON, VINNIE,
WHAT HAPPENED BUDDY?

REMEMBER THAT STATE
TEST YOU GOTTA PASS ON

TO GET PROMOTED, THE
ONE I MISSED LAST YEAR

- REMEMBER THAT?
- OH YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.

ON ACCOUNT YOU WERE
OUT OF TOWN WITH BUSINESS

WITH THE POPE.

THAT'S THE BEST
NOTE I EVER WROTE!

BUT DO YOU REMEMBER
THIS, REMEMBER THAT KOTTER

SAID HE WAS GONNA
TAKE CARE OF IT FOR ME?

ALL RIGHT, IN THE MAIL I
GET THIS LITTLE NOTE HERE

AND IT SAYS "YOU'VE
BEEN LEFT BACK."

READ IT AND WEEP, LOOK AT THIS.

ALL SIGNED OFFICIAL
LIKE AND EVERYTHING.

FORGET IT, I AIN'T
GONNA TAKE IT.

I MEAN, IF THEY WANT ME
THEY GONNA HAVE TO COME

AND GET ME, I'LL TELL
YOU THAT RIGHT NOW.

I'LL TELL YOU, THERE'S A MAN

WITH CONVICTION, YOU
KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

HE'S GONNA MAKE IT, BOY,
AND HE'S GONNA STICK WITH IT.

HEY, NOW, LISTEN MR. WOODMAN.

JULIE'S GONNA CALL A CAB,
THEN SHE'S GONNA CALL YOU,

YOU TELL ME, WE CALL MELMANN,

HE CALLS THE HOSPITAL,
AND WE ALL MEET THERE.

YOU GOT IT?

I GOT IT, I GOT IT.

JUST ONE THING, KOTTER?

WHAT?

I HOPE YOU LIKE THAT
SUIT YOU'RE WEARING,

'CAUSE YOU'RE NOT
GONNA BE ABLE TO AFFORD

ANOTHER ONE THIS CENTURY.

HA-HA-HA-HA!

WELL, GOOD MORNING
AND WELCOME TO

A NEW SCHOOL YEAR!

BOO!

WELL, I'M SURE NOW THAT
SUMMER VACATION'S OVER,

YOU'RE ALL ANXIOUS
TO GET BACK TO WORK!

OKAY, LET'S START WITH A
REVIEW OF WHAT WE LEARNED

LAST YEAR.

NOW THAT THAT'S OUT OF THE WAY,

LET'S TALK ABOUT THIS YEAR.

THIS IS YOUR NEW BOOK... KOTTER!

JULIE, JULIE CALLED,
DID SHE CALL?!

NO, NO, NO, JULIE DIDN'T CALL.

WHAT ARE YOU GETTING
ME ALL EXCITED FOR?

FORGIVE ME KOTTER, I'M A SADIST.

JUST A LITTLE
MATTER I NEGLECTED.

PRINCIPAL LAZARUS
ASKED ME TO WELCOME

EACH CLASS PERSONALLY.

NOW, REMEMBER THIS
IS NOT ME TALKING,

IT'S THE PRINCIPAL.

HAVE A NICE SCHOOL YEAR.

IT'S A PLEASURE TO
HAVE YOU ALL BACK.

I DID IT.

NO ONE CAN SAY I DIDN'T DO IT!

NOW REMEMBER CLOWNS,
I'LL BE LAYING FOR YOU

EVERY MINUTE AND
THIS YEAR I'LL GET YOU.

THAT'S ME TALKING!

YOU ARE CHEERFUL
TODAY, MR. WOODMAN.

WHAT HAPPENED, ONE
OF YOUR OLD STUDENTS

GET THE CHAIR?

THAT'S VERY FUNNY, KOTTER.

OKAY, THESE ARE THE NEW BOOKS,

I'M GONNA HAND EVERYBODY ONE.

NOW, THIS ONE'S
YOURS, YOU WILL KEEP IT...

BARBARINO!

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

I'M DOING WHAT I'M
ALWAYS DOING, NOTHING.

WHY SHOULDN'T HE BE HERE?

BECAUSE HE WAS
LEFT BACK, THAT'S WHY.

OKAY, WAIT A MINUTE,
IF I WAS LEFT BACK,

HOW COME I'VE BEEN SITTING
IN THIS SEAT RIGHT HERE?

BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT
SMART, YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW

HOW TO GET LEFT BACK!

YOU DIDN'T SHOW
UP FOR YOUR EXAMS,

YOU DIDN'T SHOW UP
FOR YOUR MAKE-UPS,

YOU KNOW WHERE
THAT LEAVES YOU? BACK!

VINNIE, DIDN'T YOU
TAKE THE MAKE-UP TEST?

WHY SHOULD I TAKE
THE MAKE-UP TEST

WHEN YOU SAID YOU WAS
GONNA TAKE CARE OF IT FOR ME?

I DID, I ARRANGED A TIME
AND A PLACE, EVERYTHING.

THAT AIN'T TAKING CARE OF IT.

TAKING CARE OF IT IS
GOING AND SNEAKING INTO

THE PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE,
AND FIXING THE RECORDS.

YOU AIN'T GONNA DO THIS TO ME.

YOU AIN'T GONNA LET ME BACK.

- OH, YES I AM.
- OH, NO YOU'RE NOT.

YEAH?

WELL, IF YOU LEAD
MY MAN VINNIE BACK,

YOU'RE GONNA LEAD
ME BACK TOO, MAN.

THAT'S RIGHT, ME TOO, VINNIE!

ME TOO, VINNIE!

YOU STAND HERE ONE MORE SECOND,

I WILL LEAVE YOU BACK.

SEE, VINNIE, I'M SORRY,
BUT SEE, MY FAMILY

WAS COUNTIN' ON ME TO
BE THE FIRST WASHINGTON

TO GET THROUGH THE 11TH GRADE.

LOOK, THAT'S ALL RIGHT,
I DON'T NEED YOU GUYS

TO HELP ME GET LEFT BACK.

I GOT HERE ON MY OWN, DIDN'T I?

WELL, DIDN'T I?

- WELL, YEAH, YEAH!
- HE HAS A POINT.

HE HAS A POINT.

ALL RIGHT, BARBARINO, TO
THE DUMBBELLS, DUMBBELL.

YOU KNOW, THIS IS
YOUR FAILURE, TOO.

VINNIE, I...

YOU CRUMB! HOW
COULD YOU DO THAT?

I COULD'VE BEEN SOMETHING!

I COULD'VE BEEN SOMETHING!

I WANTED MY MOTHER
TO SEE ME GRADUATE

BEFORE SHE DIED.

YOU KNOW, SHE'S PUSHING 40.

I'VE WAITED A LONG TIME
FOR THIS DAY, KOTTER.

I WIN.

I'M BREAKING UP THE SWEATHOGS.

IT'S LIKE BREAKING
UP THE OLD YANKEES.

YOU THOUGHT YOU
HAD ME, DIDN'T YOU?

TWO OUTS, BOTTOM OF THE NINTH,

BUT OLD WOODMAN HIT A HOME RUN!

AND I WIN! I WIN KOTTER!

HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN WITHOUT
YOUR MEDICATION, MR. WOODMAN?

LISTEN, THESE KIDS COME
FROM DEPRIVED BACKGROUNDS.

I MEAN, THEY NEED MOTIVATION,

NOT LEFT BACK.

THEY BANNED SACCHARINE, KOTTER.

GIVE IT A REST.

JUST A SECOND, MR. WOODMAN.

I'M SICK AND TIRED OF
YOU COMING IN HERE

AND PUTTING DOWN MY STUDENTS.

FROM NOW ON, IF
YOU WANNA SEE ME,

DO IT IN YOUR OFFICE.

AND ANOTHER
THING, THIS IS MY SHIP,

AND I AM THE CAPTAIN.

GOOD DAY TO YOU, SIR!

ALL RIGHT!

OH CAPTAIN... JUST ONE
FINAL INTERRUPTION.

DON'T LOOK NOW, BUT
YOUR SHIP IS SINKING.





HI GUYS.

OKAY, NOW HERE'S
THE PLAN, RIGHT?

JULIE'S GONNA CALL A
CAB, SHE'S GONNA CALL ME,

I CALL DR. MELMANN,
HE CALLS THE HOSPITAL,

AND WE ALL MEET THERE.

YOU GOT IT?

HEY, MR. KOTTER,
WE GOT IT, BELIEVE ME,

WE ALL GOT IT.

NOT ONLY DO WE GOT
IT, WE PUT IT TO MUSIC.

OKAY, NOW, LET ME
SEE, LET ME SEE NOW.

NOW, IF JULIE CALLS REMEMBER...

♪ SHE CALLS A CAB ♪

♪ I CALL DR. MELMANN ♪

♪ HE CALLS THE HOSPITAL ♪

♪ AND WE ALL MEET THERE ♪

♪ SHOOBY-DOO BA DOO-WA ♪♪

GOT IT.

ON BEHALF OF THE
BAND AND MESELF,

I HOPE WE PASSED THE AUDITION.

GO AHEAD, GET IN THERE.

I DON'T KNOW WHY HAVING A
BABY IS SUCH A TRAUMATIC THING.

I MEAN, MY UNCLE
MORRIS HAD EIGHT BABIES.

I'M DYING, I'M DYING!

UNCLE MORRIS?

MR. KOTTER, YOU GOTTA HELP ME.

YOU GOTTA HELP ME.

VINNIE, LOOK, IT'S A
VERY BAD DAY TODAY.

WHY DON'T YOU JUST RELAX?

I'VE TRIED, WOODMAN WON'T BUDGE.

SO WHY DON'T YOU BLACKMAIL HIM?

WHAT WE DO IS THIS,
TELL HIM WE GOT PICTURES

OF HIM AND AND THAT FRENCH
TEACHER DOING THINGS.

VINNIE, I WANT YOU TO
UNDERSTAND SOMETHING.

YOU WERE WRONG
IN THE FIRST PLACE.

OF COURSE, I WAS
WRONG IN THE FIRST PLACE.

IF I WAS RIGHT, I
WOULDN'T NEED YOUR HELP.

VINNIE, I CAN'T DO ANYTHING
RIGHT NOW, ALL RIGHT?

I'LL DO SOMETHING, BUT NOT NOW.

JUST GO TO YOUR
NEW CLASS, ALL RIGHT.

JUST LEAVE ME ALONE TODAY,
JUST GO TO YOUR NEW CLASS.

ALL RIGHT, I'LL CALL
YOU LATER, ALL RIGHT?



EDMUND.

FRANCIS. NAH.

GARTH.

GARTH, GARTH.

GERMAN FOR MAN WITH MANY WARTS.

WHERE?

NOT YOU, VINNIE, THE BABY.

THE BABY, HUH,
WELL, THAT'S TOO BAD,

BUT I GOT MY OWN PROBLEMS.

SO DO I.

VINNIE, WHAT DO YOU
THINK ABOUT THE NAME

MAURICE FOR A LITTLE BOY?

- MAURICE?
- YEAH.

THAT'S A GOOD NAME...

IF YOU DON'T MIND YOUR KID
GETTING BEAT UP ALL HIS LIFE.

BUT FORGET ABOUT
THAT FOR A WHILE,

'CAUSE I GOT MORE
IMPORTANT THINGS

TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT.

NOW, SIT DOWN.

VINNIE, DON'T YOU USUALLY
TAKE YOUR PROBLEMS

TO MR. KOTTER?

YEAH, SO I USUALLY DO,
BUT LIKE NOW THERE'S

NOBODY LEFT, SO I
HAD TO COME TO YOU.

OKAY, TELL ME.

I CAN'T.

I CAN RESPECT THAT.

WEREN'T YOU GONNA FORCE ME LIKE?

VINNIE, MY MIND'S
SOMEWHERE ELSE.

ALL RIGHT, ENOUGH
PRESSURE, I'LL TALK.

I GOT LEFT BACK.

HARD TO BELIEVE.

I KNOW! I KNOW!

ME VINNIE BARBARINO, RIGHT?!

I COULDN'T BELIEVE IT MYSELF
WHEN I HEARD THE NEWS.

ALL RIGHT, NOW,
WHAT YOU GOTTA DO

TO HELP ME IS YOU
GOTTA TALK TO MR. KOTTER,

BECAUSE HE DON'T WANNA...
HE DON'T WANNA HELP ME, RIGHT?

SO IF YOU... IF YOU TALK TO
HIM, MAYBE WE COULD HELP...

HELP IT SO I DON'T
GET LEFT BACK.

YOU KNOW, DO YOU
REALIZE WHAT THIS COULD DO

TO MY CHANCES OF GETTING
INTO MEDICAL SCHOOL?

VINNIE, I DIDN'T KNOW
THAT YOU WANTED

TO BE A DOCTOR!

OH YEAH, I WAS GONNA
EITHER BECOME, LIKE,

A DOCTOR OR A LONGSHOREMAN.

OH, OH, VINNIE, I
DON'T FEEL VERY WELL.

YOU DON'T FEEL VERY WELL?

IMAGINE HOW I MUST FEEL.

YOU KNOW, THIS IS REALLY
KINDA WEIRD, YOU KNOW THAT?

I MEAN, A GUY LIKE EPSTEIN,
HE GETS PROMOTED RIGHT?

AND I DON'T.

I MEAN, DON'T YOU THINK
THAT LOOKS SHOULD ACCOUNT

FOR SOMETHING?

EXCUSE ME, VINNIE.

WHERE YOU GOING?

WAIT A MINUTE, LOOK,
I'M UPSET THAT HE

LEFT ME BACK, BUT
YOU DON'T GOTTA

LEAVE THE GUY.

COULD YOU PLEASE SEND A CAB
TO 711 EAST OCEAN PARKWAY?

WAIT A MINUTE, WAIT A MINUTE,

DON'T YOU THINK YOU
SHOULD THINK ABOUT THIS?

I MEAN, LIKE, MARRIAGE
IS REALLY HOLY.

MR. WOODMAN, HI, IT'S JULIE.

WOULD YOU TELL GABE
THAT I'M ON THE WAY

TO THE HOSPITAL RIGHT NOW.

THE HOSPITAL!?

I'M SORRY, MRS.
KOTTER, OH MY GOD!

I WOULD'VE NEVER TOLD
YOU IF I THOUGHT IT WAS

GONNA GET YOU SICK AND ALL THAT!

VINNIE, VINNIE, THAT'S
NOT WHY I'M GOING

TO THE HOSPITAL!

WHY NOT?

HAVEN'T YOU NOTICED
THAT I'VE PUT ON

A LITTLE WEIGHT LATELY?

YEAH, THAT'S ON
ACCOUNT OF YOU KNOW?

YEAH.

YOU'RE READY TO
DO THAT RIGHT NOW?

YEAH.

- ARE YOU SURE?
- YES I'M SURE.

- ARE YOU REALLY SURE?
- I'M POSITIVE.

OH NO, NO, NO.

ALL RIGHT.

DON'T... DON'T DO NOTHING
UNTIL WE GET TO THE HOSPITAL,

ALL RIGHT?

WAIT A MINUTE, WAIT A
MINUTE, WAIT A MINUTE.

I CAN'T HELP YOU
DO NOTHING UNLESS

YOU PROMISE YOU BRING
UP THIS KID CATHOLIC.

OH!

ALL RIGHT, FORGET I ASKED
THE QUESTION, ALL RIGHT?



THIS BOOK IS IMPORTANT.

DON'T JUST THROW IT
AWAY AND DON'T LOOK AT IT.

KOTTER, MAY I HAVE
A WORD WITH YOU?

I THOUGHT I MADE MYSELF
CLEAR, MR. WOODMAN,

AFTER CLASS.

OKAY.

DON'T GET GREASE STAINS ON IT,

DON'T KEEP IT IN THE KITCHEN

OR IT'S GONNA GET SOILED...

OH GABE, CAPTAIN,
REQUESTING PERMISSION

TO COME ABOARD, SIR.

PERMISSION DENIED.

AFTER CLASS.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S
WRONG WITH THAT MAN.

HE INSISTS ON INTERRUPTING
ME WHEN I'M TRYING

TO TEACH MY CLASS.

AND WE'RE NOT THAT
EASY TO TEACH EVEN UNDER

MOST IDEAL CIRCUMSTANCES.

ALL RIGHT, TURN TO PAGE 41.

THIS IS VICE ADMIRAL
WOODMAN SPEAKING.

NOW HEAR THIS, NOW HEAR THIS.

ALL HANDS ON DECK.

NOTIFY THE CAPTAIN HIS
WIFE IS HAVING A BABY.

THIS IS IT!

NOW, NOW, THE PLAN,
I FORGOT THE PLAN!

WE DIDN'T, WE DIDN'T!

- JULIE CALLS YOU.
- AND THEN SHE CALLS A CAB.

YOU CALL DR. MELMANN
AND HE CALLS THE HOSPITAL!

AND WE ALL MEET HER THERE!

LET'S GO!

YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.



NEXT ON WELCOME BACK KOTTER:

NOW LOOK, YOU DON'T WORRY
ABOUT NOTHING, ALL RIGHT?

I'M GONNA TAKE CARE
OF EVERYTHING HERE,

YOU JUST GO HAVE YOUR
BABY AND RELAX, ALL RIGHT?

OKAY, THANKS VINNIE.

DON'T WORRY, JULIE,
EVERYTHING'S GONNA BE FINE.

ARE YOU CRYING?

NO.

I JUST HAD AN ONION SANDWICH.

I'M REALLY GLAD ABOUT
WHAT HAPPENED, YOU KNOW,

MRS. KOTTER AND EVERYTHING'S
IT'S ALL REALLY TURNED OUT

COOL AND EVERYTHING.

- THANKS A LOT.
- THAT'S GOOD.

BUT THERE ARE MORE
IMPORTANT THINGS

GOING ON IN LIFE, TOO, YOU KNOW?

LIKE ME GETTING LEFT BACK,
I MEAN, IT'S A BIG PROBLEM.

VINNIE, I PROMISE
YOU, YOU'LL GET OUT

OF THE 10TH GRADE, OKAY?

WELL, THERE HE IS.

A MAN WHO'S ABOUT TO
SPEND HIS ENTIRE LIFE

IN THE 10TH GRADE.

SEE WHAT I MEAN? SEE THAT?

MELMANN, FIVE MINUTES.

MELMANN, YOU GOT FIVE MINUTES...

GABE, I'M CALLING
CONGRATULATIONS!

WHAT? WHAT IS IT?

YOU'RE THE FATHER OF A
BOUNCING BABY... WHAT?

SIT TIGHT.

HE DIDN'T SAY WHAT WAS BOUNCING!

WAIT A MINUTE!



♪ WELCOME BACK ♪

♪ YOUR DREAMS WERE
YOUR TICKET OUT ♪

♪ WELCOME BACK ♪

♪ TO THAT SAME OLD PLACE
THAT YOU LAUGHED ABOUT ♪

♪ WELL THE NAMES
HAVE ALL CHANGED

SINCE YOU HUNG AROUND ♪

♪ BUT THOSE DREAMS HAVE REMAINED

AND THEY'VE TURNED AROUND ♪

♪ WHO'D HAVE THOUGHT
THEY'D LEAD YOU ♪

♪ WHO'D HAVE THOUGHT
THEY'D LEAD YOU ♪

♪ BACK HERE WHERE WE NEED YA ♪

♪ BACK HERE WHERE WE NEED YA ♪

♪ YEAH WE TEASE HIM A LOT

'CAUSE WE GOT HIM ON THE SPOT ♪

♪ WELCOME BACK ♪

♪ WELCOME BACK, WELCOME
BACK, WELCOME BACK ♪

♪ WELCOME BACK, WELCOME BACK ♪

♪ WELCOME BACK ♪

♪ WE ALWAYS COULD
SPOT A FRIEND ♪

♪ WELCOME BACK ♪

♪ AND I SMILE WHEN I THINK

HOW YOU MUST'VE BEEN ♪♪