Welcome Back, Kotter (1975–1979): Season 3, Episode 11 - Barbarino in Love: Part 2 - full transcript
ALL RIGHT CLASS, PAY ATTENTION.
LAST WEEK ON PART ONE,
THE THREE DO'S AND THE DON'TS
STUNNED THE MUSICAL WORLD
BY WINNING THE SEMI-FINALS
OF THE STATE HIGH SCHOOL
TALENT COMPETITION.
BUT BACK STAGE, LOVE WAS
WAITING IN THE WINGS WHEN VINNIE
MET CASSIE.
HE TOOK CASSIE EVERYWHERE:
INTO THE AUDIENCE,
TO THE CANDY STORE
AND BACK INTO THE AUDIENCE.
THEY WERE CONSTANTLY
TOGETHER, ALONE.
WELL, ALMOST.
THESE ARE NOT HAPPY SWEATHOGS.
THEY'VE LEARNED VINNIE'S
QUIT THEIR SINGING GROUP.
HE'S REFUSING TO
COMPETE AGAINST CASSIE
WHO ALSO MADE IT TO THE FINALS
OF THE STATE TALENT COMPETITION.
IS THEIR ANGER JUSTIFIED?
IS HE DOING THE RIGHT THING?
GREAT LOOKIN' LADY.
STRANGE LOOKIN' GUY.
STAY TUNED FOR PART
TWO OF BARBARINO IN LOVE.
AND KEEP YOUR EYE ON HIM.
YOU NEVER KNOW
WHAT HE'S GONNA DO,
BESIDE BEING CUTE.
♪ WELCOME BACK ♪
♪ YOUR DREAMS WERE
YOUR TICKET OUT ♪
♪ WELCOME BACK ♪
♪ TO THAT SAME OLD PLACE
THAT YOU LAUGHED ABOUT ♪
♪ WELL THE NAMES
HAVE ALL CHANGED
SINCE YOU HUNG AROUND ♪
♪ BUT THOSE DREAMS HAVE REMAINED
AND THEY'VE TURNED AROUND ♪
♪ WHO'D HAVE THOUGHT
THEY'D LEAD YA ♪
♪ WHO'D HAVE THOUGHT
THEY'D LEAD YA ♪
♪ BACK HERE WHERE WE NEED YA ♪
♪ BACK HERE WHERE WE NEED YA ♪
♪ YEAH, WE TEASE HIM A LOT
'CAUSE WE GOT HIM ON THE SPOT ♪
♪ WELCOME BACK ♪
♪ WELCOME BACK, WELCOME
BACK, WELCOME BACK ♪
OKAY, LET'S GET THE DANCE PART,
LET'S GET THE DANCE PART DOWN,
AND LET'S TRY THE
NEXT PART, READY?
♪ MY HEART WAS A DESERT,
WITH ONE LONELY PALM ♪
♪ 'TILL I FOUND AN OASIS ♪
♪ RIGHT HERE IN YOUR ARMS ♪
THAT'S NICE, WHOA!
WAIT JUST A MINUTE.
IT NEEDS A LITTLE,
A LITTLE POLISH.
BUT IT WAS ALL RIGHT,
WHAT'D YOU THINK?
I'VE BEEN WAITIN' 20
YEARS TO GET MY HANDS
ON THAT TROPHY, KOTTER.
NOW, THE ONLY CHANCE I'VE
GOT IS TO FOLLOW THE WINNER
HOME AND MUG 'EM.
AH, BARBARINO, THE MAN WHO...
THE MAN WHO
DESERTED HIS FRIENDS.
WHAT ARE YOU WORKIN' ALONE NOW?
VINNIE BARBARINO
AND HIS TRAINED HAIR.
HEY, MR. WOODMAN,
SNOW WHITE CALLED.
SHE SAID SHE'S LOOKIN'
TO HIRE A NEW DWARF.
YEAH, I WONDER HOW MUCH IT PAYS.
HOW YA DOIN', MR. KOTTER.
HOW YA DOIN', VINNIE?
HEY LOOK, GUYS, I
THINK WE GOTTA TALK
BECAUSE THIS COLD SHOULDER
STUFF HAS GONE FAR ENOUGH.
MR. KOTTER, TELL
'EM TO LISTEN TO ME.
GUYS, VINNIE WANTS
YOU TO LISTEN TO HIM.
NOW LOOK, MR. KOTTER,
YOU TELL VINNIE THAT
THE THREE DO'S DON'T WANT
NOTHIN' TO DO WITH NO DON'T.
VINNIE, THE THREE DUDES
DON'T WANNA HAVE NOTHIN' TO DO
WITH NO DON'T.
YOU KNOW, THAT'S THE
FIRST TIME I'VE EVER SEEN
A XEROX MACHINE WITH A MUSTACHE.
THAT'S THE FIRST TIME
HE'S SEEN A XEROX MACHINE
WITH A MUSTACHE.
ANYTHING ELSE YOU
GUYS WANT ME TO TELL HIM?
YES, MR. KOTTER.
WOULD YOU PLEASE TELL VINCENT
THAT HIS THREE EX-COLLEAGUES
FEEL LIKE A TEAM OF
MOUNTAIN CLIMBERS,
INCHING THEIR WAY
UP THE ICY SLOPES OF MT. EVEREST
WHEN SUDDENLY, ONE
OF THE MEMBERS RUNS OFF
WITH A SHERPA GUIDE.
GO 'HEAD, GO 'HEAD,
TELL HIM, GO 'HEAD.
OKAY.
VINNIE, YOUR EX-COLLEAGUES
FEEL LIKE A TEAM
OF MOUNTAIN CLIMBERS
WHO ARE CLIMBING UP THE...
INCHING THEIR WAY UP.
INCHING THEIR WAY
UP THE MOUNTAIN.
THE ICY SLOPES.
HORSHACK, I DON'T BELIEVE
YOU SAID, ICY SLOPES.
MR. KOTTER, I SAID ICY SLOPES.
IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE
ME, ASK LITTLE JUAN HERE.
LITTLE JUAN, DID
HE SAY ICY SLOPES?
WELL OF COURSE,
HE SAID ICY SLOPES.
MATTER OF FACT, I REMEMBER
THE CLIMB DISTINCTLY.
MY GOOD FRIEND SIR
LIONEL'S LAST WORDS WERE,
ICY SLOPES!
HI, YA GUYS.
CASSIE, WHAT ARE YOU DOIN' HERE?
YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED
TO BE HERE 'TILL TONIGHT.
I CAME HERE TO REHEARSE.
WELL, WHAT DO YOU
DO FOR AN ENCORE?
HAVE VINNIE SIMONIZE
YOUR TOE SHOES?
YOU KNOW SOMETHIN', LASSIE?
CASSIE.
HER NAME IS CASSIE.
YOU KNOW SOMETHIN', CASSIE?
YOU SHOULDN'T BE NO DANCER.
YOU SHOULD BE AN ANIMAL TRAINER.
YOU ALREADY GOT VINNIE
JUMPIN' THROUGH YOUR HOOPS.
WHY DON'T YOU GUYS COME
OVER HERE AND SAY THAT?
NOW WHY DON'T YOU GO
OVER THERE AND SAY IT?
COME ON, COME ONE,
LET'S COOL IT OVER HERE.
WHAT DID I DO?
VINNIE, WHAT ARE
THEY TALKIN' ABOUT?
- WHAT DO THEY MEAN?
- THEY DON'T MEAN NOTHIN'.
WHAT DOES ANYTHING MEAN?
WHAT... WHAT DOES
THE TREES MEAN?
WHAT DOES THE LEAVES
FALLIN' TO THE GROUND MEAN?
WHAT DOES THE GROUND MEAN?
OH, WISE ONE, I'VE
ALWAYS WONDERED,
WHAT DO MY SHOES MEAN?
SEE, NOW, I CAN'T FIGURE
OUT WHAT YOUR SHOES MEAN
'CAUSE I HAVE A PROBLEM
FIGURING OUT WHAT MY LACES MEAN.
MR. KOTTER, WHAT'S GOING ON?
WELL, CASSIE, YOU KNOW, AFTER
VINNIE QUIT THE GROUP THE...
WHAT?
YOU QUIT THE GROUP?
MR. KOTTER, YOU GOT A BIGGER
MOUTH THAN THE DELORES SKY.
OH, I'M SORRY, I JUST
ASSUMED THAT YOU TOLD HER.
I WAS SAVIN' IT, IT WAS GONNA
BE A BIG SURPRISE FOR HER.
VINNIE, WHY DID
YOU QUIT THE GROUP?
YOU KNOW WHAT I GOTTA DO?
I GOTTA CHECK AND SEE
IF THE COSTUMES ARRIVED.
THEY WEREN'T HERE
BEFORE, SO I'LL CHECK THE...
I'LL... I'LL... SEE YA LATER.
WHAT I DID FOR YOU IS THE
BEST THING I DONE FOR ANYBODY
IN MY WHOLE LIFE.
BEST THING.
EXCEPT FOR MY MOTHER.
ON MY MOTHER'S BIRTHDAY,
YOU KNOW WHAT I BOUGHT HER?
I BOUGHT HER ONE OF
THOSE TOASTERS WITH...
IN THE SHAPE OF PRAYING HANDS.
ALL YOU GOTTA DO, YOU GOTTA
JUST TAKE A PIECE OF BREAD,
YOU PUT IT IN BETWEEN THE PALMS.
AND IT COMES OUT LIGHT
AND TOASTY, EACH ONE.
VINNIE, WHY DID
YOU QUIT THE GROUP?
I QUIT FOR YOU.
'CAUSE I FIGURED THAT, YOU
KNOW, WITH ME OUT OF THE WAY
YOU'D HAVE A BETTER
CHANCE OF WINNING.
OH, I SEE.
YOU DIDN'T THINK I COULD
WIN ON MY OWN, HUH?
WELL, COME ON, CASSIE, I
MEAN YOU'RE TALKIN' TO ME,
VINNIE BARBARINO.
LOOK, YOU SHOULD
BE HAPPY THAT I QUIT.
HAPPY, THE GUYS HATE ME, VINNIE!
IS THAT SUPPOSED
TO MAKE ME HAPPY?
AND LOOK AT YOU.
YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE
ENOUGH FAITH IN ME
TO COMPETE WITH ME HONESTLY.
I THOUGHT YOU WERE
BEGINNING TO UNDERSTAND.
OH, FORGET IT.
♪
I DON'T UNDERSTAND
IT, MR. KOTTER.
FIRST... FIRST I LOSE MY FRIENDS,
AND NOW I LOSE MY GIRLFRIEND.
I'M SO DEPRESSED.
HEY, LOU, GIVE ME
ANOTHER EGG CREAM.
DON'T YOU THINK
YOU'VE HAD ENOUGH?
IT'S ALL RIGHT,
LOU, I'M DRIVING.
I'M SORRY, TEACH, I
GOTTA CUT HIM OFF.
HE'S HAD SIX ALREADY.
IT DON'T MATTER HOW MANY I GET.
YOU KNOW, I DON'T EVEN CARE
IF I CARBONATE MYSELF TO DEATH.
MATTER OF FACT, I'D LIKE TO
TURN INTO ONE BIG BUBBLE AND POP.
VINNIE, LET ME TRY AND EXPLAIN
IT TO YOU ONE MORE TIME, OKAY?
ALL RIGHT.
I'LL SO IT THIS WAY.
LET'S SAY THESE THREE GLASSES
HERE ARE THE SWEATHOGS,
ALL RIGHT?
ALL RIGHT, NOW, WHICH
ONE IS HORSHACK?
WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES IT
MAKE WHICH ONE IS HORS...
THIS ONE IS HORSHACK, OKAY?
ALL RIGHT, BUT NOW WAIT,
THAT DON'T LOOK LIKE HORSHACK.
THAT LOOKS MORE LIKE EPSTEIN.
IT'S EPSTEIN, OKAY?
NOW, WHO'S THIS?
THAT'S WASHINGTON.
AND WHO'S THIS?
ALL RIGHT, THAT'S HORSHACK.
OKAY, EPSTEIN, WASHINGTON
AND HORSHACK, YOU GOT IT?
YEAH, ALL RIGHT, NOW LET
ME TAKE A PICTURE OF IT.
ALL RIGHT, NOW
THESE THREE GUYS...
ALL RIGHT, BUT WAIT A
MINUTE, I GOTTA TAKE A PICTURE
IN MY MIND.
IT TAKES TIME TO DEVELOP.
IT TAKES FIVE SECONDS.
- ONE, TWO...
- WILL YOU CUT THAT OUT?
NOW, LET'S SAY THAT THIS
NAPKIN HERE IS CASSIE, OKAY?
GET YOUR HANDS OFF MY CHICK.
VINNIE.
ALL RIGHT, I'M
LISTENING, I HEAR YOU.
ALL RIGHT, YOUR NAPKIN
IS CASSIE, AND YOU ARE...
LET'S SAY YOU'RE THIS SPOON
RIGHT OVER HERE, OKAY?
ALL RIGHT, I'M A SPOON.
NO, I'M NOT A
SPOON, I'M NO SPOON!
I'M A MARASCHINO CHERRY.
WHY?
WHY?
BECAUSE I'M SWEET, AND I
ALWAYS COME OUT ON TOP.
ALL RIGHT, YOU'RE A CHERRY.
OKAY, THAT'S YOU,
YOU'RE A CHERRY.
NOW, LISTEN TO ME.
THESE THREE GLASSES OVER
HERE ARE MAD AT THE CHERRY
BECAUSE THE CHERRY
DISAPPOINTED THEM FOR THE NAPKIN.
NOW, ON THE OTHER HAND,
THE NAPKIN IS ALSO MAD
AT THE CHERRY BECAUSE
THE CHERRY REFUSES TO TREAT
THE NAPKIN LIKE A PERSON.
WELL, MAYBE THE CHERRY
DON'T KNOW ABOUT NAPKINS' LIB.
VINNIE, LOOK, WHAT I'M
TRYIN' TO SAY IS VERY SIMPLE.
WHEN YOU QUIT THE GROUP,
YOU DISAPPOINTED YOUR FRIENDS.
I MEAN YOU REALLY
DISAPPOINTED THE GUYS.
AND YOU ALSO INSULTED CASSIE.
I DIDN'T INSULT CASSIE.
THE CHERRY DID.
WHEN YOU MAKE A COMMITMENT
TO SOMEBODY YOU CARE ABOUT,
IT'S IMPORTANT THAT YOU
KEEP THAT COMMITMENT.
ALL RIGHT, ALREADY.
KEEP THE COMMITMENT.
I JUST ATE MYSELF.
HI, MR. KOTTER.
HI, GUYS, HOW YA DOIN'?
- MR. KOTAIR.
- HOW ARE YOU?
HOW'S YA SHAKIN'?
OKAY.
SEE?
HERE'S THE NEW TRIO.
WHY DON'T YOU GO OVER THERE
AND MAKE IT A QUARTET, HUH?
GO 'HEAD?
HEY GUYS, THERE'S
SOMETHIN' I WANNA TELL YOU.
WHY DON'T YOU TELL THEM?
VINNIE, YOU GOTTA
DO THIS FOR YOURSELF.
GO AHEAD.
ALL RIGHT, I JUST WANNA
SAY THAT I'M REALLY SORRY
ABOUT EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENED.
WHAT?
WHAT ARE YOU SAYING, WHAT?
IS HE TALKING?
I JUST WANNA SAY
THAT I'M REALLY SORRY.
WE CAN'T HEAR YOU?
- WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?
- SPEAK UP, TROOPS.
I WANNA SAY THAT I'M SORRY
ABOUT EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENED.
I'D LIKE TO BE DON'T AGAIN.
JUST LIKE THAT, HUH?
WHAT DO YOU WANT ME
TO DO, ROLL OVER LIKE DOG,
BEG AND LICK YOUR FACES?
I'M NOT THAT MAD AT YOU, VINNIE.
I MEAN, YOU DON'T
GOTTA LICK MY FACE.
ALL RIGHT, GUYS,
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
- ♪ DO -DO -DO -DON'T ♪♪
I DON'T KNOW.
ONE MORE TIME.
DON'T... OH, I'M NOT
GOOD ANYMORE.
WE GOTTA CONFERENCE.
JUST CHECK IT ALL IN.
THAT'S CLOSE ENOUGH!
WHAT ARE THEY SO HAPPY ABOUT?
MR. WOODMAN, I THINK YOU
GOT A SHOT AT THAT TROPHY.
VINNIE'S BACK IN THE CONTEST.
NO, NO HE'S NOT.
WHAT ARE YOU TALKIN' ABOUT?
YEAH, WHAT ARE
YOU TALKIN' ABOUT?
THE JUDGES FOUND OUT
THE ORIGINAL ACT BROKE UP.
BUT MR. WOODMAN, WE
BACK TOGETHER NOW.
SO IS THE KING FAMILY.
THEY'RE NOT WORKIN' EITHER.
YOU'VE BEEN DISQUALIFIED.
♪
LOU, I'M NO GOOD, I'M A CRUMB.
I DESERTED MY FRIENDS.
NOW THEY CAN'T
BE IN THE CONTEST.
DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT, VINNIE.
MR. KOTTER WILL MAKE THE
JUDGES CHANGE THEIR MIND.
BUT I DON'T DESERVE FOR
THEM TO CHANGE THEIR MINDS!
I DON'T DESERVE ANYTHING.
WHERE ARE MY ROLAIDS?
COME ON, COME ON, COME
ON, TAKE IT EASY, RELAX!
TAKE IT EASY.
HEY, HEY.
OH, VINCENT,
WHAT'S DONE IS DONE.
STOP BEATING YOURSELF
WITH A DEAD HORSE.
BUT I'M NO GOOD.
LOOK, LOOK, GUYS, I
DESERTED YOU GUYS FOR A GIRL.
BUT WHAT DID I CARE AT THE TIME?
I DIDN'T CARE NOTHIN'.
HA, HA, CRIED MY LAUGHIN' HEART.
DON'T LISTEN, FELLAS.
THAT MAN IS A RAVING MANIAC.
I'M A CRUMB.
YES, I'M A CRUMB, I'M NOTHIN'.
OKAY, ALL RIGHT, VINCENT,
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, VINNIE.
WE'RE CONVINCED.
YOU'RE A CRUMB, YOU'RE NOTHIN'.
NOW, YOU ALL RIGHT?
YEAH.
ALL RIGHT GUYS, YOU'VE
BEEN TAKIN' UP MY BEST BOOTH
FOR FOUR HOURS.
NOW, COME ON, I GOT THE
THEATER CROWD COMIN' IN.
OH, YEAH, WHAT THREE
USHERETTES AND THE PROJECTIONIST?
HELLO, HELLO, HELLO, HELLO.
WHAT DID THE JUDGES
SAY, WHAT DID THEY SAY?
WELL, THEY WERE GONNA
REPLACE YOU WITH A GUY
FROM MORRIS HIGH IN THE BRONX.
HE CRACK WALNUTS TO THE TUNE
OF LADY OF SPAIN, I ADORE YOU.
SO, WHAT HAPPENED?
YEAH.
WELL, WE WERE IN THERE
FOR TWO SOLID HOURS.
WE USED EVERY ARGUMENT
WE COULD THINK OF,
THE AMERICAN WAY, FAIR PLAY,
BASEBALL, APPLE PIE, CHEVROLET.
WE EVEN THREW IN
KOSHER HOT DOGS.
SO, SO, LIKE WHAT HAPPENED
AFTER YOU FINALLY STOPPED
BLABBIN' WITH THEM JUDGES?
WHAT HAPPENED?
WELL GUYS, THE JUDGES RESCINDED.
WAIT, WAIT.
WHAT'S RESCINDED MEAN?
YOU'RE BACK IN THE CONTEST!
YES, YES, YES, YES!
YOU KNOW, VINNIE, I'M REALLY
GLAD YOU CHANGED YOUR MIND
ABOUT THE CONTEST.
I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT NO
MATTER WHAT HAPPENS TONIGHT,
THIS PAST WEEK WITH YOU
HAS BEEN REALLY WONDERFUL.
OH, NOW SOMEONE
TOLD YOU TO SAY THAT.
YEAH, YOU.
AND I'M SUPPOSED TO BE
THE FUNNY ONE, SIT DOWN.
WELL, I'M LEARNIN'
ALL RIGHT, NOW I WANNA
ASK YOU SOMETHING, CASSIE?
NOW, OUT OF THE WHOLE
WEEK, OUT OF THE WHOLE WEEK
THAT WE SPENT TOGETHER,
WHAT DID YOU LIKE THE BEST?
OH, I DON'T KNOW,
THERE WAS SO MUCH.
ALL RIGHT, WAS IT THE TIME
WE WENT TO SEE UNCLE SAL?
THAT WAS INTERESTING.
I'VE NEVER BEEN
INSIDE A PRISON BEFORE.
NO, NO, THAT WASN'T UNCLE
SAL, THAT WAS UNCLE TONY.
UNCLE SAL, REMEMBER, HE
WAS THE ONE AT THE HOME?
THE ONE WITH THE CURLY HAIR.
AND HE WAS ROLLED
UP IN A CORNER.
HE KEPT ON YELLIN' OUT,
KANGAROO, KANGAROO.
WHY DOES HE SAY KANGAROO?
LISTEN, IT'S BETTER THAN
WHAT HE USED TO SAY.
OH, HERE THEY COME.
LET'S GET READY.
I WANTED TO TELL YOU, UM,
I'M GONNA BE REAL SORRY
WHEN IT'S ALL OVER.
OH, NOW, CASSIE, YOU DON'T KNOW
FOR SURE THAT I'M GONNA WIN YET.
NO, NO, NO, I DON'T MEAN THAT.
BUT, YOU KNOW SOMETHIN'?
I REALLY HOPE YOU
DO WIN TONIGHT.
HEY, CASSIE, I ALREADY DID WIN.
I MET YOU.
HOW WAS THAT?
IT WAS GREAT, BABE.
IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
WELL, WELL, I FOUND YOUR
PIROUETTE SOMEWHAT LACKING
IN EXPERIENCE.
HEY, UM, BABY, UM, I WOULD
SAY THAT YOU WAS RATHER GOOD,
BUT TINA TURNER YA AIN'T.
I GUESS THEY LIKED ME, HUH?
LIKE YOU, WHY YOUR
PLIES WERE WONDERFUL.
HORSHACK, KEEP YOUR
EYES OFF HER PLIES.
AND NOW, REPRESENTING
BUCHANAN HIGH SCHOOL,
OUR FINAL ENTRY,
THREE DO'S AND A DON'T.
GOOD LUCK.
OH, GOOD LUCK.
OH, GOOD LUCK.
GOOD LUCK, YOU GUYS.
♪
♪ MY HEART WAS A DESERT
WITH ONE LONELY PALM ♪
♪ ONE ♪
♪ 'TILL I FOUND AN OASIS
RIGHT HERE IN YOUR ARMS ♪
HOW DOES HE DO THAT?
♪ DON'T KEEP TURNING ME ON
WHEN I KNOW YOU'RE TELLIN' ME LIES ♪
♪ DO, DO, DO, DO, DO ♪
♪ DON'T TELL ME THIS IS LOVE
BECAUSE YOU'RE
IN FOR A SURPRISE ♪
♪ WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA ♪
♪ WHY DON'T YOU LISTEN
TO ME, SWEETY BABY
WHEN I TELL YOU, I
KNOW IT'S LOVE ♪
♪ WHAT MAKES YOU
THINK I'M GONNA BE THERE
WHEN YOU COME KNOCK, KNOCK,
KNOCKIN' AT MY BACK DOOR, BABY ♪
♪ DO, DO, DO, DO ♪
♪ DON'T YOU REMEMBER HOW
I PLEADED FOR YOUR LOVE ♪
♪ NOW, NOW, NOW, NOW,
NOW I REMEMBER ALL THE HURT
WHEN I GAVE MY HEART A SHOT ♪
♪
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT!
YEAH, YEAH, YEAH!
♪ DO, DO, DO, DO ♪
♪ STAY WITH ME, BABY
'CAUSE I REALLY LOVE YOU ♪
♪ AND THAT'S WHERE IT'S... AT ♪
♪ DO, DO, DO, DO ♪
♪ DO, DO, DO, DO, DO, DO, DA ♪♪
♪
DO YOU BELIEVE THAT?
THAT GUY DOES THOSE DUMB
BIRD CALLS, HE WINS EVERYTHING.
YEAH, WELL I THINK HE
GOT THE JUDGE'S SYMPATHY
WHEN HE FELL OFF HIS PERCH.
YOU'RE NOT
DISAPPOINTED, ARE YOU?
WELL, MAYBE A LITTLE.
HOW 'BOUT YOU?
ME, VINNIE BARBARINO?
NO, YEAH.
- CASSIE.
- VINNIE.
ALL RIGHT, YOU GO FIRST
'CAUSE YOU'RE THE LADY.
YOU'RE TERRIFIC.
OH, I SHOULDA GONE FIRST
'CAUSE THAT'S EXACTLY
WHAT I WAS GONNA TELL YOU.
WELL, YOU SAY IT SECOND.
IT'LL STILL COUNT.
ALL RIGHT, YOU'RE TERRIFIC.
THANKS.
NOW, TELL ME WHY.
DON'T MAKE ME... GO ON, GO ON.
DON'T MAKE ME TELL YOU WHY.
ALL RIGHT, YOU SEE,
ALL THE GIRLS I WENT OUT WITH,
I ENDED UP WITH NOTHIN', RIGHT?
BUT WITH YOU, I GOT SOMETHIN'.
EVEN THOUGH IT
WASN'T WHAT I WANTED.
NO, I MEAN IT WAS WHAT I WANTED,
BUT LIKE I DIDN'T... I
DIDN'T KNOW I WANTED IT.
DO YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU MEAN.
YOU DO?
YEAH, AND I'M GONNA TAKE
A LOT OF SPECIAL MEMORIES
HOME WITH ME.
YOU SOUND LIKE A HALLMARK CARD.
MAYBE I'LL COME UP AND
VISIT YOU ON SPRING VACATION.
YEAH, MAYBE.
SPRING'S A LONG
WAY OFF, YOU KNOW.
SO, I'LL CALL YOU.
YOU BETTER.
YOU KNOW, YOU'RE
REALLY SPECIAL, VINNIE.
I KNOW THAT.
I THINK YOU'RE SPECIAL, TOO.
I KNOW.
WELL.
HEY, VINNIE.
VINNIE.
HEY, GUYS.
HOW YA DOIN'?
YOU ALL RIGHT?
YOU SURE?
HEY, THINK ABOUT IT, VINNIE, IT
COULD'VE BEEN WORSE, YOU KNOW?
YOU MIGHT'VE NEVER MET HER.
YOU KNOW WHAT'S
FUNNY, MR. KOTTER?
PEOPLE COME INTO YOUR LIFE,
AND THEN THEY GO OUT OF YOUR LIFE.
IT'S SO STUPID.
YEAH, I KNOW, VINNIE,
THAT'S HOW IT IS SOMETIMES.
NICE GOIN', YOU REJECTS
FROM THE GONG SHOW.
YOU'RE LOSIN' TO A GUY
THAT DOES BIRD CALLS.
I'LL GIVE YOU A BIRD CALL!
YOU KNOW, VINNIE, WHAT
YOU WERE JUST SAYIN'?
I'LL TELL YOU WHAT'S
WORSE THAN THAT.
SOME PEOPLE COME INTO
YOUR LIFE, AND THEY STAY THERE.
LOU, I GOT A STORY TO TELL YOU.
LISTEN TO THIS.
GABE, WHEN YOU WAS A KID
AND YOU USED TO COME IN HERE
AND TELL JOKES, I THOUGHT
IT WAS JUST A PHASE
YOU WERE GOIN'
THROUGH, LIKE SOME KIDS.
SOME KIDS HAVE PIMPLES,
SOME DEMONSTRATE.
YOU TOLD STUPID JOKES.
NO, NO, LISTEN, YOU'RE
GONNA LIKE THIS ONE.
IT'S REALLY CUTE.
WHAT DOES ONE MOUSE DO IF
ANOTHER MOUSE IS DROWNING?
WHAT?
HE GIVES IT MOUSE TO
MOUSE RESUSCITATION.
♪
♪
♪ WELCOME BACK ♪
♪ YOUR DREAMS WERE
YOUR TICKET OUT ♪
♪ WELCOME BACK ♪
♪ TO THAT SAME OLD PLACE
THAT YOU LAUGHED ABOUT ♪
♪ WELL THE NAMES
HAVE ALL CHANGED
SINCE YOU HUNG AROUND ♪
♪ BUT THOSE DREAMS HAVE REMAINED
AND THEY'VE TURNED AROUND ♪
♪ WHO'D HAVE THOUGHT
THEY'D LEAD YA ♪
♪ WHO'D HAVE THOUGHT
THEY'D LEAD YA ♪
♪ BACK HERE WHERE WE NEED YA ♪
♪ BACK HERE WHERE WE NEED YA ♪
♪ YEAH, WE TEASE HIM A LOT
'CAUSE WE GOT HIM ON THE SPOT ♪
♪ WELCOME BACK ♪♪
LAST WEEK ON PART ONE,
THE THREE DO'S AND THE DON'TS
STUNNED THE MUSICAL WORLD
BY WINNING THE SEMI-FINALS
OF THE STATE HIGH SCHOOL
TALENT COMPETITION.
BUT BACK STAGE, LOVE WAS
WAITING IN THE WINGS WHEN VINNIE
MET CASSIE.
HE TOOK CASSIE EVERYWHERE:
INTO THE AUDIENCE,
TO THE CANDY STORE
AND BACK INTO THE AUDIENCE.
THEY WERE CONSTANTLY
TOGETHER, ALONE.
WELL, ALMOST.
THESE ARE NOT HAPPY SWEATHOGS.
THEY'VE LEARNED VINNIE'S
QUIT THEIR SINGING GROUP.
HE'S REFUSING TO
COMPETE AGAINST CASSIE
WHO ALSO MADE IT TO THE FINALS
OF THE STATE TALENT COMPETITION.
IS THEIR ANGER JUSTIFIED?
IS HE DOING THE RIGHT THING?
GREAT LOOKIN' LADY.
STRANGE LOOKIN' GUY.
STAY TUNED FOR PART
TWO OF BARBARINO IN LOVE.
AND KEEP YOUR EYE ON HIM.
YOU NEVER KNOW
WHAT HE'S GONNA DO,
BESIDE BEING CUTE.
♪ WELCOME BACK ♪
♪ YOUR DREAMS WERE
YOUR TICKET OUT ♪
♪ WELCOME BACK ♪
♪ TO THAT SAME OLD PLACE
THAT YOU LAUGHED ABOUT ♪
♪ WELL THE NAMES
HAVE ALL CHANGED
SINCE YOU HUNG AROUND ♪
♪ BUT THOSE DREAMS HAVE REMAINED
AND THEY'VE TURNED AROUND ♪
♪ WHO'D HAVE THOUGHT
THEY'D LEAD YA ♪
♪ WHO'D HAVE THOUGHT
THEY'D LEAD YA ♪
♪ BACK HERE WHERE WE NEED YA ♪
♪ BACK HERE WHERE WE NEED YA ♪
♪ YEAH, WE TEASE HIM A LOT
'CAUSE WE GOT HIM ON THE SPOT ♪
♪ WELCOME BACK ♪
♪ WELCOME BACK, WELCOME
BACK, WELCOME BACK ♪
OKAY, LET'S GET THE DANCE PART,
LET'S GET THE DANCE PART DOWN,
AND LET'S TRY THE
NEXT PART, READY?
♪ MY HEART WAS A DESERT,
WITH ONE LONELY PALM ♪
♪ 'TILL I FOUND AN OASIS ♪
♪ RIGHT HERE IN YOUR ARMS ♪
THAT'S NICE, WHOA!
WAIT JUST A MINUTE.
IT NEEDS A LITTLE,
A LITTLE POLISH.
BUT IT WAS ALL RIGHT,
WHAT'D YOU THINK?
I'VE BEEN WAITIN' 20
YEARS TO GET MY HANDS
ON THAT TROPHY, KOTTER.
NOW, THE ONLY CHANCE I'VE
GOT IS TO FOLLOW THE WINNER
HOME AND MUG 'EM.
AH, BARBARINO, THE MAN WHO...
THE MAN WHO
DESERTED HIS FRIENDS.
WHAT ARE YOU WORKIN' ALONE NOW?
VINNIE BARBARINO
AND HIS TRAINED HAIR.
HEY, MR. WOODMAN,
SNOW WHITE CALLED.
SHE SAID SHE'S LOOKIN'
TO HIRE A NEW DWARF.
YEAH, I WONDER HOW MUCH IT PAYS.
HOW YA DOIN', MR. KOTTER.
HOW YA DOIN', VINNIE?
HEY LOOK, GUYS, I
THINK WE GOTTA TALK
BECAUSE THIS COLD SHOULDER
STUFF HAS GONE FAR ENOUGH.
MR. KOTTER, TELL
'EM TO LISTEN TO ME.
GUYS, VINNIE WANTS
YOU TO LISTEN TO HIM.
NOW LOOK, MR. KOTTER,
YOU TELL VINNIE THAT
THE THREE DO'S DON'T WANT
NOTHIN' TO DO WITH NO DON'T.
VINNIE, THE THREE DUDES
DON'T WANNA HAVE NOTHIN' TO DO
WITH NO DON'T.
YOU KNOW, THAT'S THE
FIRST TIME I'VE EVER SEEN
A XEROX MACHINE WITH A MUSTACHE.
THAT'S THE FIRST TIME
HE'S SEEN A XEROX MACHINE
WITH A MUSTACHE.
ANYTHING ELSE YOU
GUYS WANT ME TO TELL HIM?
YES, MR. KOTTER.
WOULD YOU PLEASE TELL VINCENT
THAT HIS THREE EX-COLLEAGUES
FEEL LIKE A TEAM OF
MOUNTAIN CLIMBERS,
INCHING THEIR WAY
UP THE ICY SLOPES OF MT. EVEREST
WHEN SUDDENLY, ONE
OF THE MEMBERS RUNS OFF
WITH A SHERPA GUIDE.
GO 'HEAD, GO 'HEAD,
TELL HIM, GO 'HEAD.
OKAY.
VINNIE, YOUR EX-COLLEAGUES
FEEL LIKE A TEAM
OF MOUNTAIN CLIMBERS
WHO ARE CLIMBING UP THE...
INCHING THEIR WAY UP.
INCHING THEIR WAY
UP THE MOUNTAIN.
THE ICY SLOPES.
HORSHACK, I DON'T BELIEVE
YOU SAID, ICY SLOPES.
MR. KOTTER, I SAID ICY SLOPES.
IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE
ME, ASK LITTLE JUAN HERE.
LITTLE JUAN, DID
HE SAY ICY SLOPES?
WELL OF COURSE,
HE SAID ICY SLOPES.
MATTER OF FACT, I REMEMBER
THE CLIMB DISTINCTLY.
MY GOOD FRIEND SIR
LIONEL'S LAST WORDS WERE,
ICY SLOPES!
HI, YA GUYS.
CASSIE, WHAT ARE YOU DOIN' HERE?
YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED
TO BE HERE 'TILL TONIGHT.
I CAME HERE TO REHEARSE.
WELL, WHAT DO YOU
DO FOR AN ENCORE?
HAVE VINNIE SIMONIZE
YOUR TOE SHOES?
YOU KNOW SOMETHIN', LASSIE?
CASSIE.
HER NAME IS CASSIE.
YOU KNOW SOMETHIN', CASSIE?
YOU SHOULDN'T BE NO DANCER.
YOU SHOULD BE AN ANIMAL TRAINER.
YOU ALREADY GOT VINNIE
JUMPIN' THROUGH YOUR HOOPS.
WHY DON'T YOU GUYS COME
OVER HERE AND SAY THAT?
NOW WHY DON'T YOU GO
OVER THERE AND SAY IT?
COME ON, COME ONE,
LET'S COOL IT OVER HERE.
WHAT DID I DO?
VINNIE, WHAT ARE
THEY TALKIN' ABOUT?
- WHAT DO THEY MEAN?
- THEY DON'T MEAN NOTHIN'.
WHAT DOES ANYTHING MEAN?
WHAT... WHAT DOES
THE TREES MEAN?
WHAT DOES THE LEAVES
FALLIN' TO THE GROUND MEAN?
WHAT DOES THE GROUND MEAN?
OH, WISE ONE, I'VE
ALWAYS WONDERED,
WHAT DO MY SHOES MEAN?
SEE, NOW, I CAN'T FIGURE
OUT WHAT YOUR SHOES MEAN
'CAUSE I HAVE A PROBLEM
FIGURING OUT WHAT MY LACES MEAN.
MR. KOTTER, WHAT'S GOING ON?
WELL, CASSIE, YOU KNOW, AFTER
VINNIE QUIT THE GROUP THE...
WHAT?
YOU QUIT THE GROUP?
MR. KOTTER, YOU GOT A BIGGER
MOUTH THAN THE DELORES SKY.
OH, I'M SORRY, I JUST
ASSUMED THAT YOU TOLD HER.
I WAS SAVIN' IT, IT WAS GONNA
BE A BIG SURPRISE FOR HER.
VINNIE, WHY DID
YOU QUIT THE GROUP?
YOU KNOW WHAT I GOTTA DO?
I GOTTA CHECK AND SEE
IF THE COSTUMES ARRIVED.
THEY WEREN'T HERE
BEFORE, SO I'LL CHECK THE...
I'LL... I'LL... SEE YA LATER.
WHAT I DID FOR YOU IS THE
BEST THING I DONE FOR ANYBODY
IN MY WHOLE LIFE.
BEST THING.
EXCEPT FOR MY MOTHER.
ON MY MOTHER'S BIRTHDAY,
YOU KNOW WHAT I BOUGHT HER?
I BOUGHT HER ONE OF
THOSE TOASTERS WITH...
IN THE SHAPE OF PRAYING HANDS.
ALL YOU GOTTA DO, YOU GOTTA
JUST TAKE A PIECE OF BREAD,
YOU PUT IT IN BETWEEN THE PALMS.
AND IT COMES OUT LIGHT
AND TOASTY, EACH ONE.
VINNIE, WHY DID
YOU QUIT THE GROUP?
I QUIT FOR YOU.
'CAUSE I FIGURED THAT, YOU
KNOW, WITH ME OUT OF THE WAY
YOU'D HAVE A BETTER
CHANCE OF WINNING.
OH, I SEE.
YOU DIDN'T THINK I COULD
WIN ON MY OWN, HUH?
WELL, COME ON, CASSIE, I
MEAN YOU'RE TALKIN' TO ME,
VINNIE BARBARINO.
LOOK, YOU SHOULD
BE HAPPY THAT I QUIT.
HAPPY, THE GUYS HATE ME, VINNIE!
IS THAT SUPPOSED
TO MAKE ME HAPPY?
AND LOOK AT YOU.
YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE
ENOUGH FAITH IN ME
TO COMPETE WITH ME HONESTLY.
I THOUGHT YOU WERE
BEGINNING TO UNDERSTAND.
OH, FORGET IT.
♪
I DON'T UNDERSTAND
IT, MR. KOTTER.
FIRST... FIRST I LOSE MY FRIENDS,
AND NOW I LOSE MY GIRLFRIEND.
I'M SO DEPRESSED.
HEY, LOU, GIVE ME
ANOTHER EGG CREAM.
DON'T YOU THINK
YOU'VE HAD ENOUGH?
IT'S ALL RIGHT,
LOU, I'M DRIVING.
I'M SORRY, TEACH, I
GOTTA CUT HIM OFF.
HE'S HAD SIX ALREADY.
IT DON'T MATTER HOW MANY I GET.
YOU KNOW, I DON'T EVEN CARE
IF I CARBONATE MYSELF TO DEATH.
MATTER OF FACT, I'D LIKE TO
TURN INTO ONE BIG BUBBLE AND POP.
VINNIE, LET ME TRY AND EXPLAIN
IT TO YOU ONE MORE TIME, OKAY?
ALL RIGHT.
I'LL SO IT THIS WAY.
LET'S SAY THESE THREE GLASSES
HERE ARE THE SWEATHOGS,
ALL RIGHT?
ALL RIGHT, NOW, WHICH
ONE IS HORSHACK?
WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES IT
MAKE WHICH ONE IS HORS...
THIS ONE IS HORSHACK, OKAY?
ALL RIGHT, BUT NOW WAIT,
THAT DON'T LOOK LIKE HORSHACK.
THAT LOOKS MORE LIKE EPSTEIN.
IT'S EPSTEIN, OKAY?
NOW, WHO'S THIS?
THAT'S WASHINGTON.
AND WHO'S THIS?
ALL RIGHT, THAT'S HORSHACK.
OKAY, EPSTEIN, WASHINGTON
AND HORSHACK, YOU GOT IT?
YEAH, ALL RIGHT, NOW LET
ME TAKE A PICTURE OF IT.
ALL RIGHT, NOW
THESE THREE GUYS...
ALL RIGHT, BUT WAIT A
MINUTE, I GOTTA TAKE A PICTURE
IN MY MIND.
IT TAKES TIME TO DEVELOP.
IT TAKES FIVE SECONDS.
- ONE, TWO...
- WILL YOU CUT THAT OUT?
NOW, LET'S SAY THAT THIS
NAPKIN HERE IS CASSIE, OKAY?
GET YOUR HANDS OFF MY CHICK.
VINNIE.
ALL RIGHT, I'M
LISTENING, I HEAR YOU.
ALL RIGHT, YOUR NAPKIN
IS CASSIE, AND YOU ARE...
LET'S SAY YOU'RE THIS SPOON
RIGHT OVER HERE, OKAY?
ALL RIGHT, I'M A SPOON.
NO, I'M NOT A
SPOON, I'M NO SPOON!
I'M A MARASCHINO CHERRY.
WHY?
WHY?
BECAUSE I'M SWEET, AND I
ALWAYS COME OUT ON TOP.
ALL RIGHT, YOU'RE A CHERRY.
OKAY, THAT'S YOU,
YOU'RE A CHERRY.
NOW, LISTEN TO ME.
THESE THREE GLASSES OVER
HERE ARE MAD AT THE CHERRY
BECAUSE THE CHERRY
DISAPPOINTED THEM FOR THE NAPKIN.
NOW, ON THE OTHER HAND,
THE NAPKIN IS ALSO MAD
AT THE CHERRY BECAUSE
THE CHERRY REFUSES TO TREAT
THE NAPKIN LIKE A PERSON.
WELL, MAYBE THE CHERRY
DON'T KNOW ABOUT NAPKINS' LIB.
VINNIE, LOOK, WHAT I'M
TRYIN' TO SAY IS VERY SIMPLE.
WHEN YOU QUIT THE GROUP,
YOU DISAPPOINTED YOUR FRIENDS.
I MEAN YOU REALLY
DISAPPOINTED THE GUYS.
AND YOU ALSO INSULTED CASSIE.
I DIDN'T INSULT CASSIE.
THE CHERRY DID.
WHEN YOU MAKE A COMMITMENT
TO SOMEBODY YOU CARE ABOUT,
IT'S IMPORTANT THAT YOU
KEEP THAT COMMITMENT.
ALL RIGHT, ALREADY.
KEEP THE COMMITMENT.
I JUST ATE MYSELF.
HI, MR. KOTTER.
HI, GUYS, HOW YA DOIN'?
- MR. KOTAIR.
- HOW ARE YOU?
HOW'S YA SHAKIN'?
OKAY.
SEE?
HERE'S THE NEW TRIO.
WHY DON'T YOU GO OVER THERE
AND MAKE IT A QUARTET, HUH?
GO 'HEAD?
HEY GUYS, THERE'S
SOMETHIN' I WANNA TELL YOU.
WHY DON'T YOU TELL THEM?
VINNIE, YOU GOTTA
DO THIS FOR YOURSELF.
GO AHEAD.
ALL RIGHT, I JUST WANNA
SAY THAT I'M REALLY SORRY
ABOUT EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENED.
WHAT?
WHAT ARE YOU SAYING, WHAT?
IS HE TALKING?
I JUST WANNA SAY
THAT I'M REALLY SORRY.
WE CAN'T HEAR YOU?
- WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?
- SPEAK UP, TROOPS.
I WANNA SAY THAT I'M SORRY
ABOUT EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENED.
I'D LIKE TO BE DON'T AGAIN.
JUST LIKE THAT, HUH?
WHAT DO YOU WANT ME
TO DO, ROLL OVER LIKE DOG,
BEG AND LICK YOUR FACES?
I'M NOT THAT MAD AT YOU, VINNIE.
I MEAN, YOU DON'T
GOTTA LICK MY FACE.
ALL RIGHT, GUYS,
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
- ♪ DO -DO -DO -DON'T ♪♪
I DON'T KNOW.
ONE MORE TIME.
DON'T... OH, I'M NOT
GOOD ANYMORE.
WE GOTTA CONFERENCE.
JUST CHECK IT ALL IN.
THAT'S CLOSE ENOUGH!
WHAT ARE THEY SO HAPPY ABOUT?
MR. WOODMAN, I THINK YOU
GOT A SHOT AT THAT TROPHY.
VINNIE'S BACK IN THE CONTEST.
NO, NO HE'S NOT.
WHAT ARE YOU TALKIN' ABOUT?
YEAH, WHAT ARE
YOU TALKIN' ABOUT?
THE JUDGES FOUND OUT
THE ORIGINAL ACT BROKE UP.
BUT MR. WOODMAN, WE
BACK TOGETHER NOW.
SO IS THE KING FAMILY.
THEY'RE NOT WORKIN' EITHER.
YOU'VE BEEN DISQUALIFIED.
♪
LOU, I'M NO GOOD, I'M A CRUMB.
I DESERTED MY FRIENDS.
NOW THEY CAN'T
BE IN THE CONTEST.
DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT, VINNIE.
MR. KOTTER WILL MAKE THE
JUDGES CHANGE THEIR MIND.
BUT I DON'T DESERVE FOR
THEM TO CHANGE THEIR MINDS!
I DON'T DESERVE ANYTHING.
WHERE ARE MY ROLAIDS?
COME ON, COME ON, COME
ON, TAKE IT EASY, RELAX!
TAKE IT EASY.
HEY, HEY.
OH, VINCENT,
WHAT'S DONE IS DONE.
STOP BEATING YOURSELF
WITH A DEAD HORSE.
BUT I'M NO GOOD.
LOOK, LOOK, GUYS, I
DESERTED YOU GUYS FOR A GIRL.
BUT WHAT DID I CARE AT THE TIME?
I DIDN'T CARE NOTHIN'.
HA, HA, CRIED MY LAUGHIN' HEART.
DON'T LISTEN, FELLAS.
THAT MAN IS A RAVING MANIAC.
I'M A CRUMB.
YES, I'M A CRUMB, I'M NOTHIN'.
OKAY, ALL RIGHT, VINCENT,
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, VINNIE.
WE'RE CONVINCED.
YOU'RE A CRUMB, YOU'RE NOTHIN'.
NOW, YOU ALL RIGHT?
YEAH.
ALL RIGHT GUYS, YOU'VE
BEEN TAKIN' UP MY BEST BOOTH
FOR FOUR HOURS.
NOW, COME ON, I GOT THE
THEATER CROWD COMIN' IN.
OH, YEAH, WHAT THREE
USHERETTES AND THE PROJECTIONIST?
HELLO, HELLO, HELLO, HELLO.
WHAT DID THE JUDGES
SAY, WHAT DID THEY SAY?
WELL, THEY WERE GONNA
REPLACE YOU WITH A GUY
FROM MORRIS HIGH IN THE BRONX.
HE CRACK WALNUTS TO THE TUNE
OF LADY OF SPAIN, I ADORE YOU.
SO, WHAT HAPPENED?
YEAH.
WELL, WE WERE IN THERE
FOR TWO SOLID HOURS.
WE USED EVERY ARGUMENT
WE COULD THINK OF,
THE AMERICAN WAY, FAIR PLAY,
BASEBALL, APPLE PIE, CHEVROLET.
WE EVEN THREW IN
KOSHER HOT DOGS.
SO, SO, LIKE WHAT HAPPENED
AFTER YOU FINALLY STOPPED
BLABBIN' WITH THEM JUDGES?
WHAT HAPPENED?
WELL GUYS, THE JUDGES RESCINDED.
WAIT, WAIT.
WHAT'S RESCINDED MEAN?
YOU'RE BACK IN THE CONTEST!
YES, YES, YES, YES!
YOU KNOW, VINNIE, I'M REALLY
GLAD YOU CHANGED YOUR MIND
ABOUT THE CONTEST.
I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT NO
MATTER WHAT HAPPENS TONIGHT,
THIS PAST WEEK WITH YOU
HAS BEEN REALLY WONDERFUL.
OH, NOW SOMEONE
TOLD YOU TO SAY THAT.
YEAH, YOU.
AND I'M SUPPOSED TO BE
THE FUNNY ONE, SIT DOWN.
WELL, I'M LEARNIN'
ALL RIGHT, NOW I WANNA
ASK YOU SOMETHING, CASSIE?
NOW, OUT OF THE WHOLE
WEEK, OUT OF THE WHOLE WEEK
THAT WE SPENT TOGETHER,
WHAT DID YOU LIKE THE BEST?
OH, I DON'T KNOW,
THERE WAS SO MUCH.
ALL RIGHT, WAS IT THE TIME
WE WENT TO SEE UNCLE SAL?
THAT WAS INTERESTING.
I'VE NEVER BEEN
INSIDE A PRISON BEFORE.
NO, NO, THAT WASN'T UNCLE
SAL, THAT WAS UNCLE TONY.
UNCLE SAL, REMEMBER, HE
WAS THE ONE AT THE HOME?
THE ONE WITH THE CURLY HAIR.
AND HE WAS ROLLED
UP IN A CORNER.
HE KEPT ON YELLIN' OUT,
KANGAROO, KANGAROO.
WHY DOES HE SAY KANGAROO?
LISTEN, IT'S BETTER THAN
WHAT HE USED TO SAY.
OH, HERE THEY COME.
LET'S GET READY.
I WANTED TO TELL YOU, UM,
I'M GONNA BE REAL SORRY
WHEN IT'S ALL OVER.
OH, NOW, CASSIE, YOU DON'T KNOW
FOR SURE THAT I'M GONNA WIN YET.
NO, NO, NO, I DON'T MEAN THAT.
BUT, YOU KNOW SOMETHIN'?
I REALLY HOPE YOU
DO WIN TONIGHT.
HEY, CASSIE, I ALREADY DID WIN.
I MET YOU.
HOW WAS THAT?
IT WAS GREAT, BABE.
IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
WELL, WELL, I FOUND YOUR
PIROUETTE SOMEWHAT LACKING
IN EXPERIENCE.
HEY, UM, BABY, UM, I WOULD
SAY THAT YOU WAS RATHER GOOD,
BUT TINA TURNER YA AIN'T.
I GUESS THEY LIKED ME, HUH?
LIKE YOU, WHY YOUR
PLIES WERE WONDERFUL.
HORSHACK, KEEP YOUR
EYES OFF HER PLIES.
AND NOW, REPRESENTING
BUCHANAN HIGH SCHOOL,
OUR FINAL ENTRY,
THREE DO'S AND A DON'T.
GOOD LUCK.
OH, GOOD LUCK.
OH, GOOD LUCK.
GOOD LUCK, YOU GUYS.
♪
♪ MY HEART WAS A DESERT
WITH ONE LONELY PALM ♪
♪ ONE ♪
♪ 'TILL I FOUND AN OASIS
RIGHT HERE IN YOUR ARMS ♪
HOW DOES HE DO THAT?
♪ DON'T KEEP TURNING ME ON
WHEN I KNOW YOU'RE TELLIN' ME LIES ♪
♪ DO, DO, DO, DO, DO ♪
♪ DON'T TELL ME THIS IS LOVE
BECAUSE YOU'RE
IN FOR A SURPRISE ♪
♪ WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA ♪
♪ WHY DON'T YOU LISTEN
TO ME, SWEETY BABY
WHEN I TELL YOU, I
KNOW IT'S LOVE ♪
♪ WHAT MAKES YOU
THINK I'M GONNA BE THERE
WHEN YOU COME KNOCK, KNOCK,
KNOCKIN' AT MY BACK DOOR, BABY ♪
♪ DO, DO, DO, DO ♪
♪ DON'T YOU REMEMBER HOW
I PLEADED FOR YOUR LOVE ♪
♪ NOW, NOW, NOW, NOW,
NOW I REMEMBER ALL THE HURT
WHEN I GAVE MY HEART A SHOT ♪
♪
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT!
YEAH, YEAH, YEAH!
♪ DO, DO, DO, DO ♪
♪ STAY WITH ME, BABY
'CAUSE I REALLY LOVE YOU ♪
♪ AND THAT'S WHERE IT'S... AT ♪
♪ DO, DO, DO, DO ♪
♪ DO, DO, DO, DO, DO, DO, DA ♪♪
♪
DO YOU BELIEVE THAT?
THAT GUY DOES THOSE DUMB
BIRD CALLS, HE WINS EVERYTHING.
YEAH, WELL I THINK HE
GOT THE JUDGE'S SYMPATHY
WHEN HE FELL OFF HIS PERCH.
YOU'RE NOT
DISAPPOINTED, ARE YOU?
WELL, MAYBE A LITTLE.
HOW 'BOUT YOU?
ME, VINNIE BARBARINO?
NO, YEAH.
- CASSIE.
- VINNIE.
ALL RIGHT, YOU GO FIRST
'CAUSE YOU'RE THE LADY.
YOU'RE TERRIFIC.
OH, I SHOULDA GONE FIRST
'CAUSE THAT'S EXACTLY
WHAT I WAS GONNA TELL YOU.
WELL, YOU SAY IT SECOND.
IT'LL STILL COUNT.
ALL RIGHT, YOU'RE TERRIFIC.
THANKS.
NOW, TELL ME WHY.
DON'T MAKE ME... GO ON, GO ON.
DON'T MAKE ME TELL YOU WHY.
ALL RIGHT, YOU SEE,
ALL THE GIRLS I WENT OUT WITH,
I ENDED UP WITH NOTHIN', RIGHT?
BUT WITH YOU, I GOT SOMETHIN'.
EVEN THOUGH IT
WASN'T WHAT I WANTED.
NO, I MEAN IT WAS WHAT I WANTED,
BUT LIKE I DIDN'T... I
DIDN'T KNOW I WANTED IT.
DO YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU MEAN.
YOU DO?
YEAH, AND I'M GONNA TAKE
A LOT OF SPECIAL MEMORIES
HOME WITH ME.
YOU SOUND LIKE A HALLMARK CARD.
MAYBE I'LL COME UP AND
VISIT YOU ON SPRING VACATION.
YEAH, MAYBE.
SPRING'S A LONG
WAY OFF, YOU KNOW.
SO, I'LL CALL YOU.
YOU BETTER.
YOU KNOW, YOU'RE
REALLY SPECIAL, VINNIE.
I KNOW THAT.
I THINK YOU'RE SPECIAL, TOO.
I KNOW.
WELL.
HEY, VINNIE.
VINNIE.
HEY, GUYS.
HOW YA DOIN'?
YOU ALL RIGHT?
YOU SURE?
HEY, THINK ABOUT IT, VINNIE, IT
COULD'VE BEEN WORSE, YOU KNOW?
YOU MIGHT'VE NEVER MET HER.
YOU KNOW WHAT'S
FUNNY, MR. KOTTER?
PEOPLE COME INTO YOUR LIFE,
AND THEN THEY GO OUT OF YOUR LIFE.
IT'S SO STUPID.
YEAH, I KNOW, VINNIE,
THAT'S HOW IT IS SOMETIMES.
NICE GOIN', YOU REJECTS
FROM THE GONG SHOW.
YOU'RE LOSIN' TO A GUY
THAT DOES BIRD CALLS.
I'LL GIVE YOU A BIRD CALL!
YOU KNOW, VINNIE, WHAT
YOU WERE JUST SAYIN'?
I'LL TELL YOU WHAT'S
WORSE THAN THAT.
SOME PEOPLE COME INTO
YOUR LIFE, AND THEY STAY THERE.
LOU, I GOT A STORY TO TELL YOU.
LISTEN TO THIS.
GABE, WHEN YOU WAS A KID
AND YOU USED TO COME IN HERE
AND TELL JOKES, I THOUGHT
IT WAS JUST A PHASE
YOU WERE GOIN'
THROUGH, LIKE SOME KIDS.
SOME KIDS HAVE PIMPLES,
SOME DEMONSTRATE.
YOU TOLD STUPID JOKES.
NO, NO, LISTEN, YOU'RE
GONNA LIKE THIS ONE.
IT'S REALLY CUTE.
WHAT DOES ONE MOUSE DO IF
ANOTHER MOUSE IS DROWNING?
WHAT?
HE GIVES IT MOUSE TO
MOUSE RESUSCITATION.
♪
♪
♪ WELCOME BACK ♪
♪ YOUR DREAMS WERE
YOUR TICKET OUT ♪
♪ WELCOME BACK ♪
♪ TO THAT SAME OLD PLACE
THAT YOU LAUGHED ABOUT ♪
♪ WELL THE NAMES
HAVE ALL CHANGED
SINCE YOU HUNG AROUND ♪
♪ BUT THOSE DREAMS HAVE REMAINED
AND THEY'VE TURNED AROUND ♪
♪ WHO'D HAVE THOUGHT
THEY'D LEAD YA ♪
♪ WHO'D HAVE THOUGHT
THEY'D LEAD YA ♪
♪ BACK HERE WHERE WE NEED YA ♪
♪ BACK HERE WHERE WE NEED YA ♪
♪ YEAH, WE TEASE HIM A LOT
'CAUSE WE GOT HIM ON THE SPOT ♪
♪ WELCOME BACK ♪♪