Welcome Back, Kotter (1975–1979): Season 2, Episode 20 - The Littlest Sweathog - full transcript

WHAT ARE YOU DRAWING?

A PICTURE, A PICTURE.

A PICTURE OF WHAT?

A PICTURE OF YOU.

WELL, LET ME SEE IT.

WAIT, IT'S NOT FINISHED.

I'LL TELL YOU A JOKE
IN THE MEANTIME, OKAY?

DO I HAVE ANY CHOICE?

NO CHOICE AT ALL.

OKAY, TELL ME YOUR JOKE.

I HAD AN UNCLE, HIS
NAME WAS SIDNEY, RIGHT?



- UH-HUH?
- BIG GAMBLER, RIGHT?

- UH-HUH?
- NOW, ONE NIGHT HE'S SLEEPING

AND HE SEES A BIG
NUMBER FIVE IN HIS DREAMS.

NUMBER FIVE, BIG, RIGHT?

- OKAY.
- SO, HE WAKES UP THAT MORNING

AND HE SAYS, "WOW, I
HAD A PREMONITION!"

GOES TO THE TRACK, RIGHT?

TAKES THE FIFTH
BUS TO THE TRACK,

WHEN HE'S IN THE TRACK,
GOES UP TO THE FIFTH WINDOW,

HE BETS FIVE DOLLARS
ON NUMBER FIVE.

WHAT HAPPENED?

IT WORKED, THE
HORSE CAME IN FIFTH.

LEMME SEE IT.

THAT'S FUNNIER THAN THE JOKE.





♪ WELCOME BACK ♪

♪ YOUR DREAMS WERE
YOUR TICKET OUT ♪

♪ WELCOME BACK ♪

♪ TO THAT SAME OLD PLACE
THAT YOU LAUGHED ABOUT ♪

♪ WELL THE NAMES
HAVE ALL CHANGED

SINCE YOU HUNG AROUND ♪

♪ BUT THOSE DREAMS HAVE REMAINED

AND THEY'VE TURNED AROUND ♪

♪ WHO'D HAVE THOUGHT
THEY'D LEAD YA ♪

♪ WHO'D HAVE THOUGHT
THEY'D LEAD YA ♪

♪ BACK HERE WHERE WE NEED YA ♪

♪ BACK HERE WHERE WE NEED YA ♪

♪ YEAH, WE TEASE HIM A LOT

'CAUSE WE GOT HIM ON THE SPOT ♪

♪ WELCOME BACK ♪

♪ WELCOME BACK, WELCOME
BACK, WELCOME BACK ♪♪



FINE... RIGHT.

THAT'S FINE, NO, I THINK...

I THINK SATURDAY'D BE GREAT.

OKAY, SO WE'LL SEE
YOU GUYS THIS WEEKEND?

TERRIFIC.

THERE'S SOMEONE AT THE
DOOR, I GOTTA GO, OKAY, BYE!

YOU READ CHAPTER SIX, VINNIE?

YOU KNOW, MR. KOTTER?

I JUST WANNA TELL YOU
THAT I REALLY APPRECIATE YOU

TAKING YOUR TIME OUT TO
HELP ME WITH MY SCHOOLWORK.

- OH, THANK YOU, VINNIE.
- REALLY.

OKAY, CHAPTER
SIX, WORLD WAR II...

I MEAN, HOW MANY TEACHERS
WOULD GIVE UP THE WHOLE EVENING

JUST TO HELP OUT A KID LIKE ME?

- NOT MANY.
- NO?

OKAY, WORLD WAR II...

I MEAN, IT MEANS SO MUCH TO ME.

REALLY, I MEAN I FIGURE
YOU ONLY GO AROUND

ONCE IN YOUR LIFE, RIGHT?

SO WHY GO AROUND
11TH GRADE TWICE?

THAT'S WHAT I SAY
ABOUT THIS STUFF.

VINNIE, ENOUGH,
CAN WE GET STARTED?

OH, BOY, LOOK...

IF YOU DIDN'T WANNA HELP
ME WITH MY HOMEWORK,

WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST SAY SO?

VINNIE, LET'S GET TO IT OKAY?

WORLD WAR II.

WHY'D WE HAVE WORLD
WAR II ANYWAY, I MEAN,

WAS THE FIRST ONE SO POPULAR?

IT LIKE "THE GODFATHER,"
THEY HAD A SEQUEL.

ALL RIGHT, NOW HOW DID IT START?

SOMETHING ABOUT A HORSE'S
HEAD BEING CUT OFF OR SOMETHING.

NOT "THE GODFATHER"!

HOW DID WORLD WAR II START?

I DON'T KNOW, I DIDN'T SEE THAT.

ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, WE'LL
TAKE A DIFFERENT APPROACH.

I WANNA KNOW HOW MUCH YOU
CAN TELL ME ABOUT SPECIFIC EVENTS.

NOW, WHAT DO YOU
KNOW ABOUT D-DAY?

D-DAY IS THE DAY THAT I
BRING HOME MY REPORT CARD.

HEY, IF THAT'S A GIRL FOR
ME, JUST TELL HER I AIN'T HERE,

ALL RIGHT?

BOY, WHEREVER I GO, THEY
TRACK ME DOWN, YOU KNOW?

I DUNNO HOW THEY DO IT!

ALL I DO IS GIVE 'EM
YOUR PHONE NUMBER.

HELLO?

NO, I'M SORRY,
MRS. KOTTER ISN'T IN.

HEY, YOU MIND IF I MAKE
MYSELF A SANDWICH?

NO, NO, GO AHEAD.

OH, DR. MEL MELMAN,
HOW'RE YOU DOING?

WHADDAYA GOT?

EXCUSE ME A SECOND?

WE GOT, UH, SALAMI,
BOLOGNA, AND TUNA.

HI... WOW, IT'S BEEN A LONG
TIME, HOW YOU BEEN DOCTOR?

YOU GOT ANY LIVERWURST?

CAN YOU HOLD ON A SECOND?

WE HAVE SALAMI, BOLOGNA,
AND TUNA, THAT'S IT, VINNIE!

LOOK, UH, DOC, I DIDN'T
KNOW JULIE WAS IN TO SEE YOU.

HEY, YOU KNOW, A LOTTA
PEOPLE LIKE LIVERWURST.

IT'S GOOD FOR YOU.

MY MOTHER, SHE BUYS IT FOR
ME ALL THE TIME, DELICIOUS.

VINNIE, VINNIE, I'M HAVING
AN IMPORTANT CONVERSATION

WITH A DOCTOR, OKAY?

OH, I'M SORRY, I DIDN'T KNOW.

HEY, YOU ASK THAT DOCTOR,
YOU ASK HIM IF LIVERWURST

IS GOOD FOR YOU.

I BET HE'LL TELL YOU YES.

VINNIE, WHY DON'T
YOU HAVE A BANANA?

GO AHEAD, ENJOY YOURSELF.

I'LL SEE WHAT I CAN DO.

UH, LOOK, DOC, I MEAN,
I'M JULIE'S HUSBAND,

IF SOMETHING'S
WRONG, I SHOULD KNOW.

WHAT?

WELL HOW LONG HAS SHE GOT?

SEVEN MONTHS?

THAT'S TERRIFIC, DOC!

OH, OKAY, I'LL SEE
YA, THANKS A LOT!

BYE-BYE!

VINNIE!

JULIE'S PREGNANT!

DON'T LOOK AT ME,
ME AND MRS. KOTTER,

WE'S JUST GOOD
FRIENDS, YOU KNOW?

DON'T BE RIDICULOUS VINNIE,
I KNOW WHO THE FATHER IS.

WHO?

ME!

GOOD.

BECAUSE, YOU KNOW WHAT,
WHAT I WAS GONNA SAY

WAS THAT IF YOU
WASN'T, THAT COULD PUT

AN AWFUL STRAIN
ON YOUR MARRIAGE.

BOY, YOU KNOW,
IT'S HARD TO BELIEVE,

ME, A FATHER.

I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN.

I NEVER BEEN A FATHER
NEITHER, YOU KNOW?

BUT I WORRY ABOUT
IT ALL THE TIME.

I CAN'T WAIT TO TELL JULIE!

SHE'S GONNA BE SO EXCITED!

YOU KNOW, I'M HAPPY...

BUT IN A WAY, IT MAKES
ME FEEL KINDA OLD.

WELL, YOU ARE KINDA OLD.

- HI!
- HI, HONEY!

HI!

I DIDN'T EXPECT
YOU HOME SO EARLY.

WELL, I KNOW, THE BRIDGE
GAME BROKE UP A LITTLE EARLY.

WE CAUGHT CANDY
LIEBERMAN CHEATING.

YOU KNOW, SHE HAD
THREE TRICKS HIDDEN DOWN

THE FRONT OF HER DRESS?

WELL, SHE NEEDS ALL
THE HELP SHE CAN GET.

YOU WANT SOME COFFEE?

YEAH, YEAH, COFFEE.

- VINNIE?
- NO, NO FOR ME, NO.

OKAY.

VINNIE, VINNIE.

LISTEN, UH, DON'T YOU HAVE
SOMETHING TO DO TONIGHT?

NO, I GOT THE WHOLE NIGHT FREE.

VINNIE, I BET YOU'RE WONDERING
WHAT DOLORES DELVECCHIO'S

DOING TONIGHT, HUH?

I ALREADY KNOW WHAT SHE'S
DOING, SHE'S WITH EPSTEIN.

TUESDAY'S HIS NIGHT.

VINNIE, I WANNA
TALK TO JULIE ALONE.

WELL, LOOK, IF YOU
WANTED ME TO LEAVE,

WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST
SAY, "HEY, VINNIE, LEAVE."

HEY, VINNIE, LEAVE.

NOW, WASN'T THAT SIMPLE?

AND, UH, DON'T SAY
ANYTHING TO JULIE, OKAY?

- I WANNA TELL HER.
- ALL RIGHT.

WELL, WHAT ABOUT THIS
WORLD WAR II STUFF?

OH, YEAH, WORLD WAR II, UH,
I'LL TELL YA THE HIGH POINT,

WE WON.

- HEY, MRS. KOTTER?
- WHAT, VINNIE?

IF IN THE NEXT COUPLE OF MONTHS,
YOU START TO GET REAL BIG...

VINNIE!

JUST TAKE IT EASY.

REAL BIG, BIG, CRAVINGS...

BUY SOME LIVERWURST.

A LOTTA PEOPLE LIKE IT.

A LOTTA PEOPLE EAT IT.

THANKS, VINNIE.

YOU CAN PUT IT ON YOUR CRACKERS.

- YEAH, OKAY.
- YOU CAN PUT IT ON SANDWICHES.

OR, IF YOU'RE IN A
HURRY, YOU CAN EAT IT

RIGHT OUT OF THE
TUBE, DELICIOUS.

HOW YA FEELING?

FINE, HONEY.

YOU LOOK A LITTLE PALE.

OH, IT'S PROBABLY FROM
TRYING TO HELP VINNIE STUDY.

OH... JULIE?

WHAT?

I WANT YOU TO SIT DOWN.

THANK YOU, I PREFER STANDING.

OKAY, I HAVE SOMETHING
IMPORTANT TO TELL YOU.

OKAY, HONEY.

IT'S REALLY HEAVY, SO I
WANT YOU TO MAKE SURE

THAT YOU'RE READY FOR IT.

IF IT'S THAT WE
WON WORLD WAR II,

I HEARD YOU TELL VINNIE.

JULIE, FORGET
ABOUT WORLD WAR II.

OKAY.

NOW, BE CALM, DON'T GET EXCITED.

I'M PREGNANT.

NO, I'M NOT, UH...

WE'RE PREG... NO, WE'RE NOT.

YOU'RE PREGNANT, DR. MEL
MELMAN JUST CALLED.

YOU MEAN IT'S TRUE?

I'M GONNA BE A MOTHER?

RIGHT, AND I'M GONNA BE A
FATHER, WORKED OUT JUST RIGHT.

OH, BOY.

YOU THINK IT'S SAFE FOR
YOU TO GET SO EXCITED

IN YOUR CONDITION?

THAT'S RIGHT, MY CONDITION!

I HAVE A CONDITION
ALL OF A SUDDEN!

I AM ACTUALLY PREGNANT!

BUT, JULIE, I MEAN, WE WERE
ALWAYS PLANNING TO HAVE A BABY.

I KNOW, BUT NOT NOW, I
MEAN, THIS YEAR THE MOST

I WAS PLANNING
ON WAS A NEW COAT.

THIS IS BETTER THAN A NEW
COAT, WON'T GO OUT OF STYLE.

YOU KNOW, IT WAS MY FAULT.

SEE, I HAD THIS SYSTEM,
EVERY MORNING I'D GO

INTO THE BATHROOM
AND I'D BRUSH MY TEETH

AND I'D TAKE MY LITTLE PILL...

AND ONE MORNING I FORGOT.

SEE WHAT HAPPENS
WHEN YOU DON'T BRUSH?

JULIE, LOOK, I'M EXCITED!

FORGET ABOUT
EXCITED, I'M ECSTATIC!

HONEY, DO YOU REALLY THINK
THAT I'M READY TO BE A MOTHER?

I MEAN I CAN'T EVEN REMEMBER
TO WATER THE PLANTS!

WELL, DON'T WORRY ABOUT THAT.

BABY'S GONNA WATER ITSELF.

THAT'S VERY FUNNY, GABE.

WE DON'T EVEN KNOW
HOW TO HANDLE A BABY.

I KNOW HOW TO HANDLE BABIES,

I HANDLE ARNOLD
HORSHACK EVERY DAY.

WELL, SEE, IT'S EASIER FOR YOU,
YOU'RE GOOD WITH CHILDREN.

JULIE, DON'T WORRY.

YOU'RE GONNA BE TERRIFIC.

YOU KNOW IT'S GONNA
CHANGE OUR LIVES, GABE.

THIS APARTMENT ISN'T BIG ENOUGH.

WE'LL GET A BIGGER ONE.

BABY'S A BIG
RESPONSIBILITY, HONEY.

JULIE...

I THINK I KNOW WHAT THE
PROBLEM IS, YOU'RE SCARED.

HOW DO YOU KNOW?

IT'S BECAUSE I'M SCARED TOO.

WE'LL BE SCARED TOGETHER.

OKAY.

WE WON'T BE FAT TOGETHER.

JULIE, PREGNANT WOMEN
ARE BEAUTIFUL, YOU'LL GLOW.

I DON'T KNOW.

THE THOUGHT OF SPENDING A
HALF HOUR TRYING TO HOIST MYSELF

OUT OF A CHAIR IS NOT
MY IDEA OF GLOWING.

OH, HONEY, YOU JUST DON'T
UNDERSTAND, YOU'RE A MAN,

YOU DON'T HAVE TO GO THROUGH IT.

I KNOW... BUT I'LL
PROMISE, I'LL WATCH.





SO, COME ON ARNOLD,
HOW MUCH MONEY WE GOT?

KEEP YOUR SHIRT ON,
I'M STILL COUNTING IT!

SO, WHAT KIND OF
PRESENT DO WE GET A BABY?

I DUNNO.

LET'S THROW HIM A PARTY.

A PARTY, VINNIE?

YEAH... HE'S NEW IN
THE NEIGHBORHOOD.

GIVE HIM A CHANCE TO
MEET PEOPLE, MAKE FRIENDS.

COME ON, VINNIE, BABIES
DON'T HAVE PARTIES!

THEY DO TOO, THEY SIT
AROUND AND DRINK MILK, RIGHT?

AND AFTER A WHILE,
THEY BURP UP A LOT.

I KNOW, WHY DON'T WE GET
THE BABY A SAVINGS BOND?

ON 89 CENTS?

SURE, IN TEN YEARS,
IT'LL BE WORTH $1.14.

THE KID'LL BE SET FOR LIFE.

YEAH, I WONDER WHAT
THEY'RE GONNA NAME IT?

PROBABLY "KOTTER."

YOU KNOW, IT'S GONNA BE
NICE HAVING A LITTLE KOTTER

RUNNING AROUND HERE, YEAH?

WELL, AT LEAST, 16 YEARS
FROM NOW, HE'S GONNA BE

GOING TO SCHOOL, RIGHT HERE!

YEAH, HE COULD SIT NEXT TO ME.

- HOW'RE YOU DOING, GUYS?
- HOW ARE YOU?

OH, MR. KOTTER!

YOU BIG DEVIL!

CONGRATULATIONS, VINNIE TOLD US
THE GOOD NEWS, YOU BIG BUCKAROO!

THANKS A LOT, ARNOLD.

WELL, HAVING A BABY.

YEAH.

LET'S HOPE IT FAVORS THE MRS.

-YEAH, -YEAH, WE WISH YOU

ALL THE HAPPINESS IN THE WORLD.

YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT, EVEN
THOUGH THE WHOLE THING IS KINDA

HARD TO BELIEVE.

WHAT'S SO HARD TO
BELIEVE ABOUT JULIE AND ME

HAVING A BABY?

WELL, YOU KNOW, WE THINK OF
YOU AS A TEACHER, NOT A PERSON,

YOU KNOW?

HE'S RIGHT... AND
IT'S HARD FOR US

TO IMAGINE A TEACHER
DOING STUFF LIKE THAT.

WELL, THEY DO...
AT LEAST HE DOES.

SO, WHAT'S YOUR
PREFERENCE, BOY OR GIRL?

YOU KNOW, I HAVEN'T
EVEN THOUGHT ABOUT IT.

I DON'T REALLY CARE.

OH, BEFORE I WAS
BORN, MY MOTHER SAID,

"OH, BIRTH IS A MIRACLE...

I DON'T CARE WHAT IT IS."

ARNOLD, THAT'S ABSOLUTELY RIGHT.

AND AS THE YEARS GO ON
AND THE MIRACLE CONTINUES,

PEOPLE ARE STILL TRYING
TO FIGURE OUT... WHAT IT IS.

FREDDIE!

ALL RIGHT GUYS, I THINK IT'S
ABOUT TIME FOR EVERYBODY

TO GO TO CLASS, HUH?

NAH, I DON'T THINK IT'S
TIME TO GOT TO CLASS.

- WHAT TIME YOU GOT?
- OH, NO, I GOT PLENTY OF TIME.

HOW 'BOUT YOURSELF, VIN?

NO, WE PREFER TO
BE FASHIONABLY LATE.

GENTLEMEN, THE OLD
SUNDIAL IN MY HEAD TELLS ME

THAT IT'S TIME TO
GO INTO SCHOOL.

HEY, LOOK, IF YOU
WANT US TO GO TO CLASS,

WHY DON'T YOU JUST SAY,
"HEY, GUYS, GO TO CLASS."

HEY, GUYS, GO TO CLASS.

WASN'T THAT SIMPLE?

COME ON, LET'S GO!

OH, MR. WOODMAN!

MR. WOODMAN, DID YOU
HEAR THE HAPPY NEWS?

MR. KOTTER IS GONNA BE A FATHER!

OH, GOOD GRIEF, KOTTER,
THIS TIME YOU'VE GONE TOO FAR.

WHO IS IT, WHAT'S HER NAME?

IT'S MY WIFE!

OH... THANK HEAVENS,
WHAT A RELIEF.

MR. WOODMAN, AREN'T YOU GONNA
TELL ME YOU'RE HAPPY FOR ME?

SURE, NICE GOING, KOTTER.

YOU GOT THE WIFE PREGNANT...

AND THE ONLY WAY YOU'RE GONNA
SUPPORT A FAMILY ON YOUR SALARY

IS BY HOLDING UP GAS STATIONS.

YOU'RE RIGHT, YOU KNOW,
THERE'S ONE ON AVENUE WEST,

I COULD BE IN AND OUT
IN ABOUT TWO MINUTES.

MR. WOODMAN...

DO YOU EVER MISS NOT
HAVING ANY CHILDREN?

NO, KOTTER, I'VE GOT
2,000 KIDS RIGHT HERE

THAT WON'T LISTEN TO ME.

DON'T YOU EVER WISH YOU
COULD HEAR THE PATTER

OF LITTLE FEET AROUND THE HOUSE?

I'VE ALREADY GOT THAT,
THERE ARE MICE IN MY BUILDING.

YOU KNOW, MR. WOODMAN, I'M
REALLY HAPPY ABOUT THE BABY,

BUT... IT SEEMS MY WIFE
JUST ISN'T AS THRILLED

AS I THOUGHT SHE'D BE.

WELL, IF I WERE JULIE, I
WOULDN'T BE TOO THRILLED

ABOUT HAVING YOUR BABY EITHER.



OH, BOY.

OH, SOMEHOW I JUST
DON'T FEEL LIKE I'M GLOWING.

OH, NO... HOW YA DOIN'?

OH, THE LADY IN WAITING!

MRS. KOTTER, WE'RE
SO HAPPY FOR YOU!

THANK YOU, ARNOLD.

SO HAPPY.

HAPPY, HAPPY... HAPPY.

BUT, YOU'D BETTER STOP
THAT OR I'M NOT GONNA MAKE IT

THROUGH THIS CONVERSATION.

HEY, MRS. KOTTER, I BOUGHT
YOU A LITTLE SOMETHING

FOR GOOD LUCK, YOU KNOW?

IT'S MY BROTHER
SANCHEZ'S BABY BOOTY...

WE HAD IT BRONZED.

SANCHEZ WAS A BIG BABY.

NAH, HE JUST HAD BIG FEET.

WELL, THANKS, JUAN.

NOW WE WON'T HAVE TO BUY A CRIB.

AND JUST THINK, INSTEAD
OF TUCKING HIM IN AT NIGHT,

WE CAN JUST LACE HIM IN.

HEY, MRS. KOTTER, WHAT'S
THAT BOOK YOU'RE READING?

DR. SPOCK.

DR. SPOCK!

HEY, I'M A BIG
STAR TREK FAN TOO.

SO, WHERE IS THE LITTLE FATHER?

I DON'T KNOW, I WAS JUST
WONDERING THE SAME THING MYSELF.

HEY, MRS. KOTTER, YOU STILL
DON'T GOT NO LIVERWURST.

SORRY, VINNIE, I JUST
HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO WORK UP

A CRAVING FOR IT YET.

HEY, AIN'T PEOPLE
IN YOUR CONDITION

ARE SUPPOSED TO GET ALL
KINDS OF STRANGE CRAVINGS?

WELL, WHEN MY
MOTHER WAS PREGNANT,

SHE USED TO WANT HOT
PEPPERS, YOU KNOW?

EVERY DAY, HOT PEPPERS,
HOT PEPPERS, HOT PEPPERS.

WHEN WE WAS BORN, THE
FIRST THING WE ASKED FOR

WAS A GLASS OF WATER.

LISTEN, VINCENT...

IF YOU'RE STILL HUNGRY,
I STILL HAVE A LITTLE

OF MY OWN GOURMET
LUNCH LEFT OVER.

LET ME SE... YES I DO!

I'VE GOT BACON, LETTUCE,
AND ESKIMO PIE SANDWICH.

YUCK!

NAH!

UGH, NO, GET OUTTA HERE!

ARNOLD, GIVE ME THAT!

I'M NOT THAT PREGNANT.

HI, GUYS.

HI, JULIE.

- HEY, HOW'RE YA DOIN?
- HEY, MR. KOTTER.

HI, HONEY, WHERE YA BEEN?

WELL, I WAS WALKING
AROUND THINKING.

THINKING!

IN THIS NEIGHBORHOOD?!

WELL, WHAT WERE
YOU THINKING ABOUT?

GETTING MUGGED?

HAVEN'T YOU GUYS GOT
ANYTHING TO DO TONIGHT?

- HOW ABOUT YOU, LITTLE JUAN...
- OH, NO, I GOT PLENTY OF TIME.

YOU'RE IN LUCK, WE'RE
FREE FOR THE EVENING!

YOU KNOW I REMEMBER ONE OF
YA TELLING ME THAT THERE WAS

SOMETHING, UH, IMPORTANT
THAT YOU GUYS HAD TO DO TONIGHT.

- NAH.
- NO, WE THOUGHT THAT WE WOULD

STAY HERE WITH YOU
AND THE LITTLE MOTHER

AND CELEBRATE!

I HAVE A GOOD MEMORY,
REALLY GOOD MEMORY

AND ONE OF YOU GUYS
TOLD ME THIS AFTERNOON,

"WE HAVE SOMETHING
IMPORTANT TO DO TONIGHT."

HEY, LOOK, IF YOU WANT
US TO LEAVE, JUST SAY,

"HEY, GUYS, LEAVE."

HEY, GUYS, LEAVE.

SEE, WASN'T THAT SIMPLE?

- ALL RIGHT, SEE YA.
- I'M GONNA WATCH TV TONIGHT...

THEY'RE THINKING OF GIVING THE
BIONIC WOMAN BIGGER TRANSISTORS.

OH, YEAH, AND I ALMOST
FORGOT, I GOT ME SOME TICKETS

TO THE JIMMIE
WALKER FILM FESTIVAL.

DYN-O-MITE!

ALL RIGHT, SEE YOU
GUYS TOMORROW!

SEE YA TOMORROW.

YEAH, WE'LL SEE YOU TOMORROW.

HEY, NOTHING'S GONNA
HAPPEN BEFORE THEN, IS IT?

- NO, ARNOLD.
- OKAY, GOODBYE!

SO, MRS... COME WITH ME.

AT LAST WE ARE ALONE.

YUP, JUST THE THREE OF US.

JULIE, I'VE BEEN DOING A
LOT OF HEAVY THINKING.

WAIT A SECOND, HONEY...

YOU KNOW, WHILE
YOU WERE GONE TODAY,

I WAS THINKING TOO...

AND I WAS THINKING
WHAT IF GABE WOULD JUST

COME TO ME AND SAID, "HEY,
JULIE, LET'S HAVE A BABY!"

YOU WANNA KNOW WHAT I
WOULD HAVE ANSWERED?

I WOULD ANSWER YES.

ALL YOU HAD TO DO WAS ASK ME.

JULIE, WOULD YOU
LIKE TO HAVE A BABY?

YES!

SEE, WASN'T THAT SIMPLE?

WHERE'S THE BABY?

IT'S NOT THAT SIMPLE.

JULIE, THE BABY ISN'T SOMETHING
THAT YOU'RE DOING FOR ME, IS IT?

I MEAN, IT'S SOMETHING
YOU REALLY WANT?

YES, I WANT IT VERY MUCH.

'CAUSE I LOVE YOU
VERY MUCH, HONEY.

I LOVE YOU TOO.

I HOPE THE BABY HAS YOUR HAIR.

AND YOUR EYES.

AND YOUR SMILE.

BUT NOT YOUR JOKES.

HEY, THAT'S RIGHT, THERE'LL BE
SOMEBODY NEW AROUND THE HOUSE!

SOMEBODY THAT HASN'T
HEARD ANY OF MY JOKES!

I COULD TELL ABOUT MY UNCLE BEN
AND THEN THERE'S THE ONE ABOUT

- MY UNCLE MARK, I COULD TELL...
- NO, GABE, GABE, NO...

HERE, READ THIS, YOU HAVE
A LOT OF THINGS TO LEARN.

OKAY, READ IT.



JULIE?

SHE'LL BE RIGHT BACK, ROSCOE.

BOY, BABY'S GONNA
LOVE YOU, ROSCOE.

DID I EVER TELL
YOU ABOUT MY UNCLE

WHO HAD A DOG NAMED ROSCOE?

YEAH, MY UNCLE HAD A
DOG NAMED ROSCOE, RIGHT?

GOES INTO A BAR AND HE
SAY TO THE BARTENDER,

"MY DOG HERE, ROSCOE, CAN TALK!"

WELL, WHAT DID
THE BARTENDER SAY?

WELL, THE BARTENDER
SAID, "THAT'S RIDICULOUS!"

SO, I SAYS, "WELL I'LL SHOW YOU.

ROSCOE, WHAT'S ON
TOP OF THE BUILDING?"

ROSCOE GOES, "RUFF!"

THEN HE LOOKS AT
ROSCOE, HE SAYS, "ROSCOE,

WHO'S THE GREATEST
BALL PLAYER OF ALL TIME?"

AND ROSCOE GOES, "RUFF!"

BARTENDER THROWS THEM BOTH OUT.

THEY GET ON THE STREET
AND ROSCOE LOOKS

AT MY UNCLE AND SAYS,

"YOU THINK I SHOULDA
SAID DIMAGGIO?"



♪ WELCOME BACK ♪

♪ YOUR DREAMS WERE
YOUR TICKET OUT ♪

♪ WELCOME BACK ♪

♪ TO THAT SAME OLD PLACE
THAT YOU LAUGHED ABOUT ♪

♪ WELL, THE NAMES NEVER
CHANGE SINCE YOU HUNG AROUND ♪

♪ BUT THOSE DREAMS
THEY'VE REMAINED ♪

♪ AND THEY'VE TURNED AROUND ♪

♪ WHO'DVE THOUGHT
THEY'D LEAD YOU ♪

♪ WHO'DVE THOUGHT
THEY'D LEAD YOU ♪

♪ BACK HERE WHERE HE NEED YOU ♪

♪ BACK HERE WHERE HE NEED YOU ♪

♪ YEAH, WE TEASE HIM A LOT
CAUSE WE GOT HIM ON THE SPOT ♪

♪ WELCOME BACK ♪

♪ WELCOME BACK, WELCOME
BACK, WELCOME BACK ♪

♪ WELCOME BACK, WELCOME BACK ♪

♪ WELCOME BACK ♪

♪ WE ALWAYS COULD
SPOT A FRIEND ♪

♪ WELCOME BACK ♪

♪ AND I SMILE WHEN I THINK
HOW IT MUST'VE BEEN ♪

♪ AND I KNOW WHAT A SCENE
WE WERE LEARNING IN ♪♪