Welcome Back, Kotter (1975–1979): Season 2, Episode 16 - Kotter and Son - full transcript

WHY DON'T YOU GET
YOUR OWN PAPER?

'CAUSE I LIKE YOURS BETTER.

YOU KNOW WHO
THIS GUY LOOKS LIKE?

ONE OF YOUR RELATIVES?

MY COUSIN, SIDNEY KOTTER!

THAT'S AMAZING!

AMAZING ISN'T EVEN...
SIDNEY'S VERY STUPID.

HOW STUPID IS HE?

WELL, COUSIN SID WAS SO STUPID

THAT ONE TIME HE
LOCKED HIS KEYS IN HIS CAR.

SO HE CALLS UP THE AUTO CLUB



AND HE SAID, "UM...

UH, I FORGOT WHY I CALLED.

OH YEAH, I LOCKED
MY KEYS IN MY CAR.

AND I WANT YOU TO
COME HERE AND HELP ME

GET THE KEYS OUT OF THE CAR."

OKAY, WHAT DID
THE AUTO CLUB SAY?

THEY SAID, "WELL,
SIR, WE'LL BE THERE

IN ABOUT ONE HOUR."

A-HA!

YOU WANNA KNOW WHAT
COUSIN SIDNEY SAID?

YEAH.

HE SAID, "WELL, YOU CAN'T
COME HERE IN AN HOUR,

BECAUSE IT'S RAINING OUT,

AND THE CAR'S A CONVERTIBLE,



AND I LEFT THE TOP DOWN."



♪ WELCOME BACK ♪

♪ YOUR DREAMS WERE
YOUR TICKET OUT ♪

♪ WELCOME BACK ♪

♪ TO THAT SAME OLD PLACE
THAT YOU LAUGHED ABOUT ♪

♪ WELL THE NAMES
HAVE ALL CHANGED

SINCE YOU HUNG AROUND ♪

♪ BUT THOSE DREAMS HAVE REMAINED

AND THEY'VE TURNED AROUND ♪

♪ WHO'D HAVE THOUGHT
THEY'D LEAD YA ♪

♪ WHO'D HAVE THOUGHT
THEY'D LEAD YA ♪

♪ BACK HERE WHERE WE NEED YA ♪

♪ BACK HERE WHERE WE NEED YA ♪

♪ YEAH, WE TEASE HIM A LOT

'CAUSE WE GOT HIM ON THE SPOT ♪

♪ WELCOME BACK ♪

♪ WELCOME BACK, WELCOME
BACK, WELCOME BACK ♪♪



OKAY.

OKAY, WHERE WAS
THE BIGGEST BATTLE

OF WORLD WAR II FOUGHT?

NEWARK WHEN THEY
TRIED TO DRAFT MY UNCLE.

HA-HA-HA!

RIGHT.

NOW, THE ALLIED FORCES... RIGHT?

HEY MR. KOTTER, I MADE A JOKE.

WELL, DON'T DO THAT.

OKAY, NOW WHERE WAS I?

EXCUSE MR. KOTTER-R-R-R!

I DO NOT THINK THAT
YOU ARE WITH US

IN THIS CLASSROOM HERE.

WANNA GO TO THE BATHROOM?

GO AHEAD.

HUH?

HORSHACK, WHERE ARE YOU DOING?

YOU JUST CAN'T GET UP AND LEAVE!

YOU JUST TOLD ME TO
GO TO THE BATHROOM!

- I DID?
- YEAH!

I DON'T REMEMBER SAYING THAT.

EPSTEIN, DID I TELL HORSHACK
TO GO TO THE BATHROOM?

IT'S OKAY, MR. KOTTER, I
DON'T GOTTA GO NO MORE.

WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH
YOU, MR. KOTTER MAN?

YOU'VE BEEN ACTING LIKE YOUR
MIND'S ABSENT OR SOMETHING.

I THINK SOMEBODY SHOULD
CALL MR. KOTTER'S HOUSE

AND FIND OUT IF HE LEFT YET.

MAN, WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU?

WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM?

I'M SORRY, FREDDIE,
YOU GUYS ARE RIGHT.

I'M A LITTLE OUT OF IT TODAY.

I THINK, UH, WELL, JUST
A COUPLE OF PROBLEMS

I GOT GOING ON AT HOME.

I'LL BE ALL RIGHT.

I GOTTA GET A NEW CASE.

PROBLEMS AT HOME.

OOOHH, MR. KOTTER!

IN DUE TIME I'M SURE
THE MISSES WILL

COME BACK TO YOU.

IT'S NOTHING TO DO WITH JULIE!

NOW, LOOK, MR. KOTTER!

YOU GOTTA LET IT OUT!

IT'S OKAY TO CRY, BUBBY.

COME ON, NOW, YOU'RE
A BROKEN MAN HERE.

EPSTEIN, PUT THAT FUNGUS
BACK IN YOUR POCKET.

LOOK, I'M TELLING YOU
PEOPLE IT HAS NOTHING

TO DO WITH JULIE.

IT'S JUST... IT'S JUST...

- SAY IT!
- SAY IT!

- SAY IT!
- SAY IT!

TELL THE TRUTH!

THE TRUTH WILL SET YOU FREE!

SAY IT, SAY IT, SAY IT!

ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT,
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT!

MY FATHER'S COMING FOR A VISIT!

OH BOY.

I DON'T BELIEVE IT.

THAT'S ALL?

HIS POP'S IS COMING FOR A VISIT?

WHAT?

HIS FATHER IS
COMING FOR A VISIT.

OH, IS THAT WHAT'S
MAKING YOU DOPIER

THAN US ALL WEEK?

NOW, LISTEN VINNIE, I
WANT YOU TO PICTURE THIS:

AN OLD MAN TRAVELS 1400 MILES

TO SAY HELLO TO HIS SON.

NOW, TRY TO IMAGINE THAT.

HOW'S HE GETTING HERE?

I MEAN, IS HE TAKING
A BUS OR A TRAIN?

OR A PLANE OR WHAT?

HE'S TRAVELING 1400 MILES,
JUST IMAGINE THAT, OKAY?

WELL, I MEAN, HOW'S HE DOING IT?

THE FIRST CLASS, THE COACH,

THE NIGHT COACH?

THE CABOOSE?

HE'S ON A SCOOTER, ALL RIGHT?

JUST IMAGINE AN OLD
MAN 1400 MILES TRAVELING

TO SEE HIS SON, RIGHT?

YA GOT IT?

THAT'S REALLY NICE
HE'S DOING THAT.

- YEAH, I GOT IT.
- GOOD. FORGET IT.

THAT'S NOT IT.

NOW, I WANT YOU TO
PICTURE SOMETHING ELSE.

I WANT YOU TO IMAGINE
IT'S NEW YEARS EVE.

- ALL RIGHT.
- OKAY.

AND YOU'RE ON THE TITANIC.

YOU'RE THERE AND YOU'RE
DANCING IN YOUR TUXEDO,

YOU'RE REALLY FEELING GOOD.

YOU'RE DOING A LITTLE BIT
OF THE CONGA, YA KNOW?

UP-BUM-BUM-BUM-BUM-BUM.

UP-BUM-BUM-BUM-BUM-BUM.

UP-BUM-BUM-BUM-BUM-BUM.

UP-BUM-BUM-BUM-BUM-BUM.

AND ALL OF A SUDDEN, YOU SEE IT.

LOOMING HIGH OVER THE OCEAN.

THREATENING, IT'S
GETTING CLOSER,

AND CLOSER, AND
BIGGER, AND BIGGER!

IT'S AN ICEBERG, YOU GOT IT?

GOT IT!

PUT A SPORTS SHIRT
ON THAT ICEBERG

AND THAT'S MY FATHER.

SPORTS SHIRT ON THE ICEBERG.

SPORTS SHIRT ON THE ICEBERG!

SPORTS SHIRT ON THE ICEBERG!

AYE-YA-YA-YA-YI!

GABE, GET UP.

I'M UP, I'M UP.

GABE, A MAN LYING UNDER A SHEET

AND TWO BLANKETS
IN A FETAL POSITION

IS NOT UP.

COME ON, YOU'RE GONNA BE LATE!

IT'S UH, IT'S 7:13
IN 37 SECONDS.

WHAT DID I MARRY,
A DIGITAL WIFE?

GABE, GET UP, COME ON.

HERE.

TAKE THE PILLOWS TOO, THANK YOU.

I WONDER WHY YOUR
FATHER'S COMING

ALL THE WAY UP FROM
FORT LAUDERDALE

JUST LIKE THAT.

JULIE, CHARLIE KOTTER'S
ONLY DONE TWO THINGS

IN HIS LIFE JUST LIKE THAT.

ONE WAS ME AND THE OTHER
ONE WAS MY BROTHER MEL.

MAYBE HE'S BORED.

WHY SHOULD HE BE BORED?

HE'S GOT MY MOM,
HE'S GOT THE STORE,

AND A STEADY STREAM OF TOURISTS

BUYING TEE SHIRTS THAT SAY,

"FLORIDA GRAPEFRUITS,
HANDS OFF."

WELL, I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU SAY,

I'M GLAD HE'S COMING.

IT'S THOUGHTFUL, IT'S GENEROUS.

HE'S HERE.

YOU GET THE DOOR,
I'LL CHECK THE FLIGHTS

BACK TO MIAMI.

CHARLIE!

JULIE DARLING, YOU
LOOK BEAUTIFUL!

IS HE GIVING YOU ANY TROUBLE?

YOU!

WASH YOUR TEETH.

WELL, IT'S NICE TO
SEE YOU TOO POP.

ALREADY IT STARTS!

LIES.

WHAT IS HE TALKING ABOUT?

IT'S GOOD TO SEE YOU,
I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU

FOR A YEAR!

WELL, IF YOU WERE
SO ANXIOUS TO SEE ME,

HOW COME YOU DIDN'T
MEET ME AT THE AIRPORT?

HE'S UNBELIEVABLE, I
DON'T BELIEVE THIS MAN.

I CALLED HIM 10 TIMES, I SAID,

"POP, CAN I PICK YOU
UP AT THE AIRPORT?"

HE SAYS 10 TIMES "DON'T BOTHER."

SINCE WHEN DO YOU
LISTEN TO YOUR FATHER?

WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR, A TIP?

PUT THE SUITCASE DOWN.

HE CAME 1400 MILES SO
HE CAN INSULT HIS SON.

SO POP, HOW'S MOM?

WELL, YOU FINALLY
THOUGHT TO ASK.

HE'S BEEN HERE
FOR SEVEN SECONDS.

BOY, DID WE HAVE A SCARE.

WE ALMOST LOST HER!

POP, WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

I'M TALKING ABOUT A
WOMAN WHO ALMOST

KEELED OVER THE COUNTER.

SHE WAS SO DIZZY.

OH, WHICH REMINDS ME...

BUSINESS IS TERRIFIC.

WE'RE MOVING FOUR
AND A HALF GROVES

OF COCONUT PAPERWEIGHTS...

FORGET ABOUT THE
COCONUT PAPERWEIGHTS!

WHAT HAPPENED WITH
MOM, WHAT'S WRONG?

SHE BROKE HER HEEL.

SHE HURT HER FOOT?

NO, SHE BROKE THE
HEEL ON HER SHOE,

SHE WAS WALKING AROUND
WITH A BROKEN HEEL

AND THAT'S WHAT MADE HER DIZZY.

SO... THIS IS IT?

THIS IS WHERE YOU LIVE NOW?

NO POP, WE DON'T LIVE HERE,

WE HAVE A SIX ROOM
DUPLEX ON PARK AVENUE.

WE'RE JUST STAYING
HERE TILL THEY FINISH

THE BACKGAMMON ROOM.

LISTEN WISE GUY, THE
CAB THAT DROVE ME HERE

FROM THE AIRPORT WAS
BIGGER THAN THIS PLACE.

IT'S A GOOD THING
I'M STAYING OVER

AT YOUR BROTHER MELVIN'S.

YOU REMEMBER MELVIN?

THE BIG SHOT DOCTOR?

HE'S GOT A 10 ROOM HOUSE,
HE'S GOT A SWIMMING POOL.

I REMEMBER, WE SLEPT
TOGETHER FOR FIVE YEARS,

I REMEMBER.

THAT YOU REMEMBER?

THE MAN MAKES $100,000 A YEAR!

THOSE DAYS HE WASN'T
MAKING $100,000 A YEAR.

HE WAS WETTING THE BED.

YOU WERE ANY DIFFERENT?

LOOK, WILL YOU TWO PLEASE STOP?

OKAY, CHARLIE, WHAT
DO YOU WANNA EAT?

DARLING, WHATEVER
YOU'RE COOKING,

I DON'T CARE WHAT
IT IS, I'M EATING IT.

EVEN IF IT'S ONLY
TWO EGGS OVER EASY,

BUTTERED ENGLISH
MUFFINS, A CUP OF TEA,

NO SUGAR BUT A DAB
OF NATURAL HONEY.

SUCH AN EASY MAN TO PLEASE.

NOW, THERE'S A PERSON!

HUH, GABE?

DID YOU FOUND A REAL JOB YET?

OR ARE YOU STILL TEACHING
THOSE SWEAT HOGS?

POP, I FEEL GOOD, I FEEL USEFUL.

SORTA LIKE YOU DO
WHEN YOU SELL SOMEONE

AN ALLIGATOR TOILET SEAT.

ALLIGATOR TOILET SEAT'S ARE OUT.

SHARKS ARE A BIG SELLER.

BY THE WAY, GABE,
WHATEVER HAPPENED

TO THAT, UH, THAT SWEET LITTLE

SCHOOL TEACHER
THAT HATED YOUR GUTS?

MIKEY WOODMAN I THINK IT IS.

WOODMAN'S THE VICE PRINCIPAL
NOW, STILL THE SAME THOUGH.

LET'S NOT TALK ABOUT
HIM, I'M EATING, OKAY?

POP, LEVEL WITH ME.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

GABE, THINK ABOUT YOUR FUTURE.

YOU KNOW, THERE'S NO FUTURE
IN TEACHING SWEAT HOGS.

THINK BEACH TOWELS.

THINK BEER CAN HATS.

THINK FOLDING FISHING RODS.

WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO SAY?

WHAT AM I TRYING TO SAY?

KOTTER AND SON MEMENTOES.

I GOT A PROPOSITION FOR YOU.

I WANNA MAKE YOU A PARTNER.

WHAT DO YOU SAY?

POP.

WE'LL TALK ABOUT IT LATER, OKAY?

CHARLIE, YOU KNOW,
YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.

THE SWEAT HOGS NEED GABE.

HE'S WORKING MIRACLES WITH THEM.

KOTTER THE MIRACLE WORKER!

MAYBE YOU CAN CURE
MY BUNIONS, HUH?

LOOK, I GOTTA GO TO SCHOOL, POP.

I'LL SEE YOU LATER.

ALL RIGHT, GET
DRESSED AND WE'LL GO.

"WE"?

WELL, I WANNA SEE, UH, SOME
OF THESE MIRACLES FOR MYSELF.

I'M SORRY, POP, THEY DON'T ALLOW

GUESTS IN SCHOOL.

LISTEN, DON'T ARGUE WITH ME.

WHERE ARE THE SHIRTS? IN HERE?

YEAH.

OH, THERE'S A NICE SHIRT!

AND HERE'S A NICE TIE.

POP!

I CAN'T WEAR THAT, LOOK AT THAT!

THAT CLASHES!

DON'T TELL ME WHAT CLASHES!

WHO DO YOU THINK MADE
THIS LITTLE COMBINATION?

PICASSO.

PUT IT ON.

JULIE, AM I CRAZY OR AM I
GONNA LOSE THIS ARGUMENT?

BOTH.

GEE, CHARLIE, I NEVER HAD

A COCONUT PAPERWEIGHT BEFORE.

YOU GOT IT BELOW COST, TOO.

I DIDN'T MAKE A DIME ON IT.

THOSE THINGS DON'T
GROW ON TREES, YOU KNOW?

WELL, CHARLIE,
YOU STILL HAVE TIME

TO BACK OUT OR TAKE
SOME RAW MEAT IN WITH YOU.

MIKEY, IT'S ALL RIGHT.

I JUST WANNA SEE
WHAT MY SON DOES

FOR A LIVING.

WELL, WHEN YOU FIND
OUT, LET ME KNOW.

HE HASN'T CHANGED.

NO, BUT WE'RE STILL HOPING.

LISTEN, POP, I WANT
YOU TO PROMISE ME

WHEN WE GO IN THERE YOU'RE
GONNA BEHAVE YOURSELF.

DON'T WORRY.

I'LL SIT DOWN.

I JUST WANNA WATCH YOU
WORK A QUICK MIRACLE OR TWO

WITH THOSE SWEAT HOGS IN THERE.

THEY'RE NICE KIDS.

NO STRINGS, NO MIRRORS!

COME TO ME SESAME!

COME TO ME SESAME!

COME TO ME... STOP!

STOP!

WILL YOU CUT THIS OUT?

WHAT?

SOME MIRACLE!

HOW YOU GOT THESE
HYENAS IN BLUE JEANS

I'LL NEVER KNOW!

GO AHEAD, SIT DOWN
ALL OF YOU, GO AHEAD.

- YEAH, RIGHT.
- SIT DOWN, LITTLE ONE.

ALL RIGHT.

HEY, WHO IS THIS GUY?

WITHOUT THIS GUY I WOULDN'T BE

IN SCHOOL TODAY.

WHO ARE YOU, THE BUS DRIVER?

I'M HIS SON.

YOU GIVE ME ONE MORE HINT.

HE'S MARRIED TO MY MOTHER.

ALL RIGHT, I ALMOST GOT
IT, JUST ONE MORE HINT.

HE'S MY FATHER!

OH, I WAS GONNA SAY THAT!

I SWEAR!

I WAS GONNA SAY FATHER,
I WAS GONNA SAY UNCLE.

OHH, YOU MUST BE THE ICEBERG!

HOW DO?

HOW COME YOU HIT THE TITANIC

IN YOUR SPORTS SHIRT?

SPORTS SHIRT ON THE ICEBERG!

SPORTS SHIRT ON THE ICEBERG!

SPORTS SHIRT ON THE ICEBERG!

SPORTS SHIRT ON THE ICEBERG!

WILL YOU CUT IT OUT!

GABE, THIS IS WORSE
THAN I THOUGHT!

EVEN RIPLEY
WOULDN'T BELIEVE THIS.

WELL, MR. KOTTER SR.

I JUST GOT ONE
THING TO SAY TO YOU.

HI THERE.

SIT DOWN, FREDDIE.

POP, WHY DON'T YOU
TAKE A SEAT, GO AHEAD.

CHARLIE, ABOUT THIS
COCONUT PAPERWEIGHT.

IT SEEMS TO HAVE SPRUNG A LEAK.

IT'S DRIPPING MILK ALL OVER
MY ATTENDANCE RECORDS.

DON'T WORRY, I'LL
BRING YOU A NEW ONE

THIS AFTERNOON TO YOUR OFFICE.

YOU SEE, KOTTER,
THERE'S A PERSON.

I GUESS IT'S TOO LATE FOR
YOU TO TAKE AFTER HIM, HUH?

BY THE WAY, CHARLIE,
HAS HE MADE A FOOL

OF HIMSELF YET?

WE JUST GOT HERE.

DON'T WORRY.

JUST GIVE HIM A LITTLE TIME.

POP, GO AHEAD, TAKE A SEAT.

HERE YOU GO, BEST
SEAT IN THE HOUSE.

OKAY.

YESTERDAY I ASKED YOU TO
READ ABOUT THE DEPRESSION.

NOW, WHO CAN TELL
ME WHEN IT BEGAN?

HORSHACK.

OH, BOY, I REMEMBER!

- IN 1929...
- POP! POP!

YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO
BE HERE TO OBSERVE.

EXCUSE ME!

I'LL MAKE MYSELF
THE INVISIBLE MAN.

OKAY, GOOD.

NOW, MY FATHER'S
RIGHT, IT DID START IN '29.

NOW, WHAT WAS IT LIKE?

WASHINGTON?

IT WAS TERRIBLE!

PEOPLE WERE JUMPING
OUT OF WINDOWS.

IT WAS RAINING
CATS AND FELDMAN'S.

HEY, HOW DO YOU KNOW
THAT MR. KOTTER THE FIRST?

ARE YOU KIDDING?

I WAS THERE!

MY FATHER DID NOT COME
HERE TO TALK ABOUT HIS LIFE.

HE DOESN'T WANNA TELL YOU...

1929, I WORKED FOR MY FATHER

IN HIS 5 AND 10 ON AVENUE L.

NOW, THOSE WERE THE DAYS,
THERE WERE NO MUGGINGS,

THERE WERE NO MASSAGE PARLORS,

THERE WAS NO DISCO DUCK.

POP, POP, LOOK.

CAN I HAVE MY CLASS BACK?

YOU WANNA TEACH 'EM
ABOUT THE GREAT DEPRESSION?

I'LL TELL THEM STORIES
ABOUT THE GREAT DEPRESSION.

BOY, TWO GENERATIONS
OF DUMB STORIES.

WELL, I'M SORRY, EXCUSE
ME FOR BREATHING.

I JUST TRY TO GIVE YOU PEOPLE
SOME FIRST-HAND KNOWLEDGE.

GABE!

GO ON AND TEACH 'EM.

THIS I WANNA SEE.

GOOD EVENING
MR. AND MRS. AMERICA

AND ALL THE SHIPS AT SEA.

THE TIME IS 19:29 AND I'M BROKE.

WHY? THE MARKET JUST CRASHED.

WE TAKE YOU NOW
TO THE STOCK MARKET.

HELLO EVERYBODY,
I'M SEYMOUR FELDMAN.

I'M ONE OF THE PEOPLE THAT
JUMPED OUT THE WINDOW!

YOU WANNA KNOW WHY?

'CAUSE THE STOCK
MARKET IS ALL CRAZY!

PEOPLE ARE BUYING
STOCKS ON 10% MARGIN.

YOU PUT DOWN 10 CENTS THEY
GET A DOLLAR'S WORTH OF STOCK!

I'M TELLING YOU,
IT'S NOT KOSHER!

THANK YOU VERY MUCH,
SEYMOUR FELDMAN.

WE TAKE YOU NOW TO IOWA.

MY NAME IS EUGENE HASEY.

I'M A FARMER, AND I WORK
HARD FOR MY MONEY.

BUT I DON'T SHARE IN THE WEALTH,

NEITHER DID THE
UNSKILLED LABORERS.

I TELL YOU, IT'S NOT RIGHT!

EVERYBODY SHOULD
SHARE IN THE WEALTH!

THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

AND NOW WE TAKE
YOU TO THE PRESIDENT

OF THE UNITED STATES,
MR. HERBERT HOOVER.

I'M HERBERT HOOVER,
PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES.

I ALSO MAKE VACUUM CLEANERS.

NOW, WE'RE MAKING
TOO MUCH PRODUCT.

THAT'S RIGHT, WE'RE
OVERPRODUCING!

DOOR KNOBS, YOU GOT
TOO MANY DOOR KNOBS.

NOT ENOUGH DOORS TO PUT THEM ON!

I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE
GONNA SAY, SAY,

"WHY DON'T WE SELL THEM
TO THE FOREIGN COUNTRIES?"

WELL, WE CAN'T!

TARIFFS ARE TOO HIGH

AND THEY DON'T WANNA BUY 'EM!

♪ ONCE I BUILT A
RAILROAD NOW IT'S DONE ♪

♪ WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH ♪

AND THAT'S THE WAY IT WAS 1929,

THIS IS WALTER WINCHELL.

GOODNIGHT!

WHAT WAS THAT? A FLOOR SHOW?

WASHINGTON.

WHAT CAUSED THE
STOCK MARKET CRASH?

UH, UH, 'CAUSE THEM
TURKEYS WAS PUTTING DOWN

10 CENTS ON THE DOLLAR
FOR ALL THE STOCKS

THAT THEY WAS BUYING.

RIGHT.

EPSTEIN, WHY WERE THE
FARMERS AND THE UNSKILLED

LABORERS MAD?

WELL, THEY WERE BUMPED
OUT 'CAUSE THEY WEREN'T

GETTING THEIR
SHARE OF THE PROFITS.

I DON'T BLAME 'EM.

RIGHT, HORSHACK, WHAT
ABOUT OVER PRODUCTION?

OH, OH, OH, OH!

BECAUSE EVERYBODY
WAS OVERPRODUCING...

DOOR KNOBS.

BARBARINO, WHY DIDN'T
THE OTHER COUNTRIES

BUY OUR PRODUCTS?

WHAT PRODUCTS?

COME ON, VINNIE, WHY
COULDN'T WE SELL THEM TO

THE FOREIGN COUNTRIES?

I DON'T KNOW,
SOMETHING ABOUT TAXES,

TARIFF, WHATEVER.

I'VE SEEN ENOUGH.

GABE, OUTSIDE.

OH, IF YOU'RE EVER
IN FORT LAUDERDALE

AND YOU PASS MY HOUSE...

- YEAH?
- KEEP GOING.

ALL RIGHT, GUYS, I'M
GONNA BE OUT FOR A MINUTE.

NO CAMP FIRES.

SO, THIS IS WHAT YOU DO?

THIS IS WHAT I DO, POP.

IT'S VERY INTERESTING.

THERE WERE ACCENTS
AND IMPRESSIONS...

WHAT DO YOU DO FOR THE SUMMER?

TAKE THIS SHOW ON THE ROAD?

I SUPPOSE YOU'RE
WAITING FOR ME TO SAY

THAT IT'S MORE IMPORTANT
TO HELP THESE KIDS

THAN TO COME DOWN
TO FORT LAUDERDALE

AND HELP ME?

THAT'S WHAT I'D LIKE YOU TO SAY.

POP, IT'S NOT EASY
TO TEACH THESE KIDS.

YOU KNOW THAT.

BUT YOU CAN'T COMPLIMENT ME.

YOU NEVER COULD.

AH, WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

POP, I'M 30 YEARS OLD.

TELL ME YOU'RE PROUD OF ME.

YOU SHOULD HEAR
ME TALK ABOUT YOU

TO MY FRIENDS IN FLORIDA.

THEY'RE SICK OF
HEARING ABOUT YOU!

BUT WHAT ARE WE
TALKING OUT HERE FOR?

YOUR SWEAT HOGS
ARE WAITING FOR YOU.

OKAY, POP.

I'LL SEE YOU FOR DINNER.

I'M PROUD OF YOU, MY SON.

I HEARD YOU.

MY SON THE EAVESDROPPER.

I'LL SEE YOU AT DINNER, SON.



JULIE DEAR, DID YOU
EVER HEAR ABOUT

WHAT HAPPENED TO MY
BROTHER SAUL KOTTER?

NO, CHARLIE, WHY DON'T
YOU TELL ME ABOUT IT.

WELL, ONE DAY SAUL WAS
WALKING ACROSS THE STREET

AND GOT HIT BY A DIESEL TRUCK.

HOW AWFUL.

IT CERTAINLY WAS.

AND A POLICEMAN RAN UP
AND HE TOOK OFF HIS JACKET

AND PUT IT UNDER SAUL'S HEAD,

AND HE LOOSENS HIS TIE.

AND THE POLICEMAN SAYS,
"ARE YOU COMFORTABLE?"

AND SAUL LOOKS UP AND
SAYS, "I MAKE A GOOD LIVING."

AH, HOW'RE YOU DOING?

- HELLO GABE.
- HI HONEY.

WELL, HAVE A NICE DAY TODAY?

YUP, HOW WAS YOUR DAY?

OH, PRETTY GOOD.

- JULIE!
- WHAT?

DID I EVER TELL YOU
ABOUT MY UNCLE SAUL?





♪ WELCOME BACK ♪

♪ YOUR DREAMS WERE
YOUR TICKET OUT ♪

♪ WELCOME BACK ♪

♪ TO THAT SAME OLD PLACE
THAT YOU LAUGHED ABOUT ♪

♪ WELL THE NAMES
HAVE ALL CHANGED

SINCE YOU HUNG AROUND ♪

♪ BUT THOSE DREAMS HAVE REMAINED

AND THEY'VE TURNED AROUND ♪

♪ WHO'D HAVE THOUGHT
THEY'D LEAD YOU ♪

♪ WHO'D HAVE THOUGHT
THEY'D LEAD YOU ♪

♪ BACK HERE WHERE WE NEED YA ♪

♪ BACK HERE WHERE WE NEED YA ♪

♪ YEAH WE TEASE HIM A LOT

'CAUSE WE GOT HIM ON THE SPOT ♪

♪ WELCOME BACK ♪

♪ WELCOME BACK, WELCOME
BACK, WELCOME BACK ♪

♪ WELCOME BACK, WELCOME BACK ♪

♪ WELCOME BACK ♪♪