Welcome Back, Kotter (1975–1979): Season 2, Episode 1 - Career Day - full transcript
- JULIE.
- WHAT?
MY AUNT GOES INTO A PET
STORE WITH MY LITTLE COUSIN.
TERRIFIC.
SHE SAYS, "LOOK AT THIS TURTLE.
HE BOUGHT THIS TURTLE
HERE JUST TWO WEEKS AGO.
LOOK AT IT MISTER!
IT'S GOT BLISTERS ON
THE BOTTOM OF ITS FEET!"
"LOOK, LADY, I SOLD
TURTLES FOR 37 YEARS.
I NEVER SAW A TURTLE
THAT HAD BLISTERS
ON THE BOTTOM OF ITS FEET.
WE WOULDN'T SELL
A TURTLE LIKE THAT.
BUT ALL RIGHT, LOOK, I
REMEMBER YOU BOUGHT IT HERE.
I'LL GIVE YOU ANOTHER TURTLE."
GIVES ANOTHER TURTLE
TO THE LITTLE BOY.
LITTLE BOY LIGHTS UP HE GOES,
"OH BOY, LOOK!
ANOTHER TURTLE TRUCK!"
VROOM VROOM VROOM VROOM.
♪
♪ WELCOME BACK ♪
♪ YOUR DREAMS WERE
YOUR TICKET OUT ♪
♪ WELCOME BACK ♪
♪ TO THAT SAME OLD PLACE
THAT YOU LAUGHED ABOUT ♪
♪ WELL THE NAMES
HAVE ALL CHANGED
SINCE YOU HUNG AROUND ♪
♪ BUT THOSE DREAMS HAVE REMAINED
AND THEY'VE TURNED AROUND ♪
♪ WHO'D HAVE THOUGHT
THEY'D LEAD YA ♪
♪ WHO'D HAVE THOUGHT
THEY'D LEAD YA ♪
♪ BACK HERE WHERE WE NEED YA ♪
♪ BACK HERE WHERE WE NEED YA ♪
♪ YEAH, WE TEASE HIM A LOT
'CAUSE WE GOT HIM ON THE SPOT ♪
♪ WELCOME BACK ♪
♪ WELCOME BACK, WELCOME
BACK, WELCOME BACK ♪
♪ WELCOME BACK, WELCOME
BACK, WELCOME BACK ♪♪
♪
OKAY!
EVERYBODY LET'S... LET'S
THANK MR. FERGUSON
FOR HIS CAREER
DAY TALK ON RADIO,
HOW TO BE A DJ FOR BIG PAY.
HOORAY!
OH!
OH VERY INSTRUCTIVE
MR. FERGUSON!
BUT TELL ME, DO YOU THINK THAT
WITH MY VOICE I TOO COULD
HAVE A REWARDING CAREER
AS A BIG TIME DJ?
ABSOLUTELY NOT, LITTLE FELLA.
BUT FOR THE REST OF
YOU BOYS AND GIRLS,
IF YOU LEARN YOUR TOP 40,
YOU PRACTICE SAYING THINGS LIKE,
"HERE'S ELVIS, HE'S THE KING."
OR "THE LONG ISLAND
EXPRESSWAY IS BLOCKED
UP FROM THE BRONX TO MONTAUK,"
YOU TOO CAN HAVE AN
EXCITING AND REWARDING
CAREER IN BIG TIME RADIO.
WELL, THAT'S ABOUT
ALL I HAVE FOR TODAY.
SAY GUYS AND GALS,
CATCH YOU ON THE FLIP SIDE.
ALL RIGHT!
HE'S A VERY INTERESTING
GUY, ISN'T HE?
YEAH.
HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT I
NOTICED, MR. KOTTER?
ALL THESE DUDES YOU GOT
COMING IN FOR CAREER DAY,
THEY GOT ONE THING IN COMMON.
THEY ALL MAKE MORE
MONEY THAN YOU.
KOTTER.
THIS IS YOUR NEXT
CAREER DAY SPEAKER,
MR. TAKAHASHI FROM
BOONYARI INDUSTRIES TOKYO,
HE'S AN INVENTOR.
- OH, NICE TO MEET YOU.
- AND YOU TOO.
TRY TO CONTROL
YOUR BEASTS, KOTTER.
REMEMBER THEY'RE SWEAT HOGS.
DON'T TURN YOUR BACK ON THEM.
PRETEND WE'RE STILL AT WAR.
SWEAT HOGS?
THAT'S MY CLASS' NICKNAME.
YEAH, I COME OFTEN TO
NEW YORK ON BUSINESS
AND I WANT TO GET TO
KNOW AMERICA BETTER.
SOON WE MAY BE BUYING BROOKLYN.
MR. TAKAHASHI,
WHY DON'T YOU BEGIN
YOUR CAREER DAY TALK?
I'M REALLY INTERESTED
IN INVENTIONS.
THIS SHOULD BE GREAT.
OH, CERTAINLY.
ALL RIGHT, CLASS,
I AM AN INVENTOR,
AND WITH ONE OF THE WORLD'S
LARGEST MANUFACTURERS
OF ELECTRONICS.
OH! OH OH OH!
IS HE ALL RIGHT?
THAT'S ABOUT AS ALL
RIGHT AS HE EVER GETS.
OH, I THOUGHT IT
WAS A DUCK TRYING
TO COMMIT HARAKIRI.
NO, I GOT A QUESTION
ABOUT YOUR CAREER.
YES?
HOW COME YOU'RE SO SHORT?
ARNOLD!
THAT'S ALL RIGHT MR. KOTTER.
IT'S NOT THAT I'M SO SHORT,
IT'S THAT HERE YOU ARE
ALL ABNORMALLY TALL.
I GOTTA QUESTION.
YOU EVER BEEN TO ONE
OF THEM GEISHA HOUSES?
GEISHA HOUSES?
VINNIE, WHAT DOES
THAT HAVE TO DO WITH
MR. TAKAHASHI'S CAREER?
NOTHING.
JUST THAT IF I'M EVER IN JAPAN
I ALWAYS WANNA KNOW
WHERE I COULD GO
TO HAVE A GOOD TIME.
MR. TAKAHASHI, WHY
DON'T YOU TELL US ABOUT
SOME OF YOUR INVENTIONS?
UH, YES, CERTAINLY.
WELL, I INVENTED
THE DIGITAL READ-OUT
REMOTE CONTROL HYDROSCOPE.
YOU MADE THAT UP, RIGHT?
OF COURSE I MADE
THAT UP, I'M AN INVENTOR!
WHAT GIVE ME GREATEST
PLEASURE ARE THINGS
I INVENT FOR PERSONAL AMUSEMENT.
LIKE WHAT?
TRANSISTORIZED UNDERWEAR RADIO.
UNDERWEAR RADIO?
CAN YOU GET FM?
YES I CAN GET FM.
I CAN GET ON A CLEAR DAY GUAM!
I NEVER FORGET THE
TIME I SITTING IN A SUBWAY
AND THE LADY NEXT TO
ME HEAR WOLFMAN JACK
HOWLING IN MY PANTS.
HEY, YOU GOT 'EM ON NOW?
YES.
COME ON, PLAY!
YEAH, LET'S HAVE A
LITTLE DEMONSTRATION.
COME ON!
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
SUPPOSE YOU ARE IN
A CROWDED SUBWAY
AND YOU WISH TO DANCE.
SUBWAY HAS NO STEREO, HMM?
♪ COME ON BABY
LET'S DO THE TWIST ♪
♪ COME ON BABY ♪
THAT IS THE DUMBEST THING
I'VE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE.
UNDERWEAR RADIO.
BOY, THE GUY'S GOT A
FEW BATTERIES LOOSE.
HEY, I HATE TO SEE HIM
TRY TO CHANGE STATIONS.
I CAN SEE I'M NOT
APPRECIATED HERE.
I'LL GO TO ANOTHER CLASS.
SHORT PEOPLE ARE SO SENSITIVE.
WHAT DID HE SAY?
I THINK THAT WAS
JAPANESE FOR UP YOUR NOSE
WITH A RUBBER HOSE.
KOTTER, HAVEN'T YOU
AND YOUR MENAGERIE
DONE ENOUGH?
MR. WHITMAN, MY
CLASS IS HERE BECAUSE
THEY HAVE SOMETHING
TO SAY TO MR. TAKAHASHI.
MY CLASS HAS SOMETHING
TO SAY TO MR. TAKAHASHI.
WHAT?
YOU'RE GOING TO APOLOGIZE?
WHEN?
RIGHT NOW.
I APOLOGIZE FOR THE WAY
I ACTED IN THE CLASSROOM.
YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT.
MR. KOTTER EXPLAINED
TO US THAT YOU WENT
OUT OF YOUR WAY TO TRY
AND TO TEACH US SOMETHING.
MR. TAKAHASHI!
I TOO WOULD LIKE TO
EXTEND MY APOLOGY
IF I IN ANY WAY OFFENDED YOU.
I AM TRULY SORRY
YOU'RE SO SHORT.
ARNOLD!
AND MR. TAKAHASHISH,
I THINK WHAT
MY FRIEND ARNOLD'S
TRYING TO SAY IS,
LOOK, WE'RE SORRY IF WE'RE
NOT GOOD STUDENTS, RIGHT?
BUT WHAT KIND OF
STUDENTS CAN YOU EXPECT
ON THE MONEY THEY PAY TEACHERS!
HOW MUCH DO AMERICAN
TEACHERS MAKE?
HA-HA-HA-HA!
WAIT A MINUTE!
CUT THIS OUT!
NOT FUNNY.
AND ALL RIGHT, ALL
RIGHT SWEAT HOGS
I ACCEPT YOUR APOLOGY.
MR. KOTTER, YOU ARE, UM,
A VERY PERSUASIVE MAN.
WHAT THE AMERICAN'S
CALL A CAN-DO KIND OF GUY.
I'M LOOKING FOR SUCH A
MAN TO HEAD MY SALES STAFF
IN MY NEW BRANCH IN CHICAGO.
I EVEN COME UP
WITH A FANCY TITLE:
VICE PRESIDENT IN
CHARGE OF CAN-DO.
WELL, THANKS A
LOT MR. TAKAHASHI,
BUT I'M HAPPY HERE
WITH THE SWEAT HOGS.
FOR SAY, UM, TWICE
YOUR PRESENT SALARY.
MR. TAKAHASHI,
OBVIOUSLY YOU DO NOT
UNDERSTAND WHAT A DEDICATED
EDUCATOR MR. KOTTER IS.
JUST A SECOND, ARNOLD.
YOU SAY TWO TIMES?
YES.
MR. KOTTER WILL HAVE
ABSOLUTELY NOTHING
TO DO WITH THAT.
ALL RIGHT, I MAKE THE
OFFER THREE TIMES.
NO DICE.
SHUT UP, HORSHACK!
THREE TIMES?
WITH A PENSION
PLAN, STOCK OPTION,
AND PARKING PLACE.
I DON'T EVEN HAVE A CAR.
AND A CAR!
HEY, NO WAY BABY.
NO WAY.
YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND SOMETHING.
THERE AIN'T NOTHING
YOU GONNA SAY
THAT'LL MAKE
MR. KOTTER LEAVE US.
- I KNOW THAT.
- THAT'S RIGHT.
WHAT KIND OF A CAR?
I'LL HANDLE THIS, KOTTER.
STICK SHIFT?
TAKAHASHI, YOU KNOW,
I MIGHT BE AVAILABLE
FOR THAT POSITION MYSELF.
AND I'M SHORT, WHICH
SHOULD MAKE YOU
FEEL RIGHT AT HOME.
I WILL BE IN NEW YORK
ALL WEEK, MR. KOTTER.
AT LEAST THINK ABOUT IT, HM?
I'LL WORK FOR LESS THAN KOTTER!
I WON'T LET YOU DOWN!
IMAGINE THE NERVE
OF THAT GUY, HUH?
TRYING TO LURE YOU FROM
THE BOWELS OF BUCHANAN.
AND FOR WHAT?
- FOR WHAT?
- YEAH.
THREE TIMES MY PRESENT SALARY,
STOCK OPTIONS AND
PENSION, A CAR, RIGHT?
PROBABLY WITH BUCKET SEATS!
I ALWAYS IMAGINED
MY SEAT IN A BUCKET.
♪
I-S-H.
NEBBISH.
NEBBISH ISN'T A WORD, GABE.
I DON'T WANT TO PLAY ANYMORE.
I CAN'T CONCENTRATE,
JULIE, I KEEP
THINKING ABOUT THAT JOB.
THE MONEY! WHAT IT WOULD MEAN!
GETTING OUT OF THIS
CRUMMY NEIGHBORHOOD.
THIS DOPEY ONE ROOM APARTMENT.
I THINK YOU SHOULD GRAB IT.
AND LEAVE ALL THIS?
THAT IS WHY I NEVER
GIVE YOU MY OPINION,
BECAUSE YOU NEVER LISTEN TO ME.
COME AGAIN?
GABE!
YOU'RE RIGHT, I'M SORRY.
I WANT YOUR OPINION.
CAN I PLEASE HAVE YOUR
OPINION, MRS. KOTTER?
I THINK IT WOULD BE
GREAT TO MOVE TO CHICAGO.
AND I THINK IT WOULD
BE GREAT FOR YOU
TO BE PAID A LOT OF MONEY.
I'M NOT GREEDY,
GABE, BUT JUST THINK
OF THE POSSIBILITIES.
A SECOND PAIR OF SHOES.
TWO ROOMS!
GABE, OUR KITCHEN WOULDN'T BE
IN OUR LIVING ROOM ANYMORE.
YEAH, I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN.
BE TERRIFIC TO GO
TO SLEEP ONE NIGHT
WITHOUT HAVING TO LISTEN
TO THE MEAT MARINATE.
AH, GOOD EVENING MR. KOTTER.
AH, MR. TAKAHASHI, COME IN.
UH, YOU WISH ME TO
REMOVE MY SHOES?
NO, NOT UNLESS YOU
STEPPED IN SOMETHING.
MR. TAKAHASHI, I'D LIKE
YOU TO MEET MY WIFE JULIE.
THIS IS MR. TAKAHASHI.
I'M HONORED.
HOW DO YOU DO?
MR. KOTTER, AS YOU WISHED, I
HAVE COME FOR YOUR ANSWER.
MR. TAKAHASHI, I HAVEN'T
MADE UP MY MIND YET.
YOU GOTTA GIVE ME
A LITTLE MORE TIME.
EXCUSE ME.
THAT CAR, WOULD
IT BE A CONVERTIBLE.
ANYTHING YOU WISH.
YOU'RE LOOKING FOR
THE KUNG FU STUDIO,
IT'S IN THE BASEMENT.
KONNICHIWA.
KONBANWA.
I WANTED TO TALK
TO YOU ONCE MORE
ABOUT THIS JOB BEFORE
YOU GIVE IT TO KOTTER
AND MAKE A BIG MISTAKE.
I ONCE MADE A BIG MISTAKE.
OH?
I ONCE PICKED UP A HITCHHIKER
OUTSIDE OF OSAKA WHO
LOOKED JUST LIKE YOU.
SAYONARA. GOODBYE.
BELIEVE ME, I'D BE
PERFECT FOR THE JOB.
I DRESS LIKE THIS ALL THE TIME
WHEN I'M NOT IN SCHOOL.
HEY, YOU KNOW, UM...
PERSONALLY, I NEVER
MINDED PEARL HARBOR.
I THINK THEY BLEW IT
OUT OF PROPORTION.
RIGHT.
I BET I COULD LEARN
TO LIKE RAW FISH.
MR. TAKAHASHI, YOU'LL
HAVE MY ANSWER
BY THE END OF THE DAY.
OKAY.
COME ON, WHY DON'T
YOU SAY GOODBYE
TO THE SWEAT HOGS, COME ON.
ALL RIGHT.
FOR THE HONOR OF
THE SWEAT HOGS...
WE DECIDED TO FIGHT
FOR OUR TEACHER.
YEAH, YEAH.
IF YOU WANNA TAKE
AWAY MR. KOTTER,
THAT MEANS WAR.
LOOK, I KNOW WHAT
YOU'RE TRYING TO DO,
AND I REALLY
APPRECIATE IT, BUT... AHHH!
YAH! YAH! YAH!
HI-YA!
HI-YA!
YA-YA!
YA-YA!
AH, SWEAT-HOPPER.
HELLO MASTER.
HOW ARE YA?
SWEAT-HOPPER IT'S OLD
PROVERB OF THE UNIVERSE:
IF BOY WEAR PLASTIC
WIG TOO TIGHT,
CUT OFF CIRCULATION TO BRAIN.
HE BECOME VILLAGE IDIOT.
OH, SO!
THANK YOU MASTER.
THAT EXPLAIN DIZZINESS.
STRANGE BOY,
MR. KOTTER, STRANGE.
YOU THINK HE'S STRANGE,
TAKE A LOOK AT WHAT'S
COMING THROUGH THE DOOR.
THESE ARE SOME RICE COOKIES
I BAKED FOR YOU.
HORSHACK, YOU TRYING
OUT FOR THE JOB TOO?
PLEASE, PLEASE, I DID NOT MEAN
TO BRING SUCH
DISCORD TO YOUR CLASS.
AH, WELL, AS CONFUCIUS ONCE SAY,
"YOU DON' GON'
AND DID IT, BABY."
I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND.
YOU SEE YOUR CLASS
DOES NOT WISH TO LOSE
THEIR TEACHER, AND
IT IS ALL MY FAULT,
BUT LET US EXAMINE WHAT
HAS HAPPENED HERE, HM?
I AM A NICE PERSON.
I AM NOT A BAD GUY.
I COME TO BUCHANAN HIGH
AND TALK ON CAREER DAY,
ABOUT WHAT I DO AS
INVENTOR, WHAT DO I FIND?
HAH!
OH, OH, OH, OH!
MAKE ME WANNA LOOK
UNDER TABLE FOR EGG.
NEXT I GET REMEDIAL ACADEMICS
ALL ABOUT JARGON,
REITERATE, "WE DA SWEAT HOGS."
THEN YOU ASK ME WHAT
I DO IN GEISHA HOUSE.
THAT NOBODY BUSINESS EXCEPT MINE
AND GIRL I MET IN OSAKA
NAMED HUTHUNAKU.
THEN YOU ASK ME, GO AHEAD
AND DEMONSTRATE INVENTIONS.
SO I DO, I'M A NICE PERSON.
I GET, "YOU GET FM?"
I GIVE YOU FM AND A GOOD
JOKE ABOUT WOLFMAN JACK,
BUT NOBODY APPRECIATE!
SO I SPLIT.
I GO TO ANOTHER CLASS!
I STILL OFFENDED, BUT I
ACCEPT YOUR APOLOGY,
AND OFFER MR. KOTTER JOB
TWO, THREE TIMES HIS SALARY
WITH STOCK OPTION, PENSION PLAN,
PARKING SPACE.
WHAT DO I GET?
CRAZY VICE PRINCIPAL
FOLLOW ME AROUND
WALK UP AND DOWN MY BACK
DRESSED LIKE A SAMURAI REJECT.
SASHIMI.
I DON'T WANT ALL THOSE THINGS.
COME HERE, WHAT DO I SEE?
SESAME STREET DOING
MADAME BUTTERFLY!
I DON'T WANT THOSE THINGS,
ALL I WANT IS TWO SIMPLE THINGS:
AN ANSWER FROM MR. KOTTER
AND A CHANCE TO TELL YOU
FOR THE LAST TIME, SAYUNARA,
ARRIVEDERCI, SHALOM!
GOODBYE, ADIOS, AND
SO LONG SWEAT HOGS!
LOOK, I CAN STRAIGHTEN
THIS WHOLE THING OUT.
YOU KNOW WHAT I FORGOT
TO DO ON CAREER DAY?
I FORGOT TO TALK
ABOUT MY CAREER!
WHAT IT MEANS TO BE A TEACHER!
YOUR TEACHER.
DO YOU KNOW HOW
GOOD I FEEL EVERY TIME
I TEACH YOU PEOPLE SOMETHING?
DO YOU KNOW I FEEL
GOOD, REALLY GOOD
WHEN I HELP YOU DISCOVER
THAT YOU'RE SMART,
NOT DUMB?
I DIDN'T KNOW THAT.
SON OF A GUN, YA
JUST DID IT AGAIN.
YA TAUGHT US SOMETHING!
YOU KNOW, I DON'T
DO IT FOR MONEY.
WE KNOW THAT.
LOOK AT THAT CHEAP TIE.
BUT YOU'D BE SURPRISED,
I LEARNED THINGS
FROM YOU PEOPLE TOO.
YEAH?
WHAT'D YOU EVER LEARN FROM ME?
I'M SURE SOMEDAY THERE'LL
BE SOMETHING THAT...
BECAUSE, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
I AM NOT LEAVING BUCHANAN.
MR. TAKAHASHI, I'M A TEACHER,
THAT'S WHAT I
SHOULD BE, A TEACHER.
AND I WANNA THANK YOU
FOR YOUR GENEROUS OFFER,
BUT I KNOW I'M A SUCCESS
EVERY TIME I LOOK
AT THESE FACES.
I'M REALLY SORRY
TO DISAPPOINT YOU.
AH, BUT YOU DID
NOT DISAPPOINT ME.
YOU'VE MADE ME VERY HAPPY.
BUT I'M TURNING DOWN THE JOB.
BUT YOU PROVED MY
JUDGMENT TO BE CORRECT.
I SELECTED A MAN OF
HONOR AND INTEGRITY.
WELL, HAVING MONEY
ISN'T EVERYTHING.
NOT HAVING MONEY
ISN'T EVERYTHING EITHER.
YOU DO IMPRESSIONS, VERY GOOD.
I DO IMPRESSIONS OF TALL PEOPLE.
JAMES CAGNEY.
YOU... YOU.
AND EDWARD G ROBINSON.
ALL RIGHT, YEAH, YEAH.
AND PORKY PIG.
THA-THE-THE-THA-THA-THE-
SAYONARA!
MR. TAKAHASHI, YOU
DON'T DO IMPRESSIONS,
YOU DO SUBTITLES.
MR. KOTTER, I'VE
HAD A GREAT TIME.
I MUST CATCH MY PLANE.
SAYONARA SWEAT HOGS.
SAYONARA BROTHER.
BYE MR. T!
AND TRY ONE OF THESE COOKIES!
OKAY, NOW I'M GONNA GIVE
YOU A CAREER DAY SPEECH
ON BEING A TEACHER.
NOW, SOMEDAY YOU'RE
ALL GONNA BE LEAVING HERE.
PROBABLY.
AND IN THAT SEAT
THERE'S GONNA BE
A NEW BARBARINO,
THERE'S GONNA BE
A NEW EPSTEIN, THERE'S GONNA BE
A NEW HORSHACK.
WELL, MAYBE NOT A NEW HORSHACK.
THEY'RE GONNA NEED TEACHERS.
THEY'RE GONNA NEED
PEOPLE TO MOLD THEIR MIND.
I WANT YOU TO CONSIDER
THE REWARDING CAREER
OF BEING A TEACHER.
THINK OF THE ACCOMPLISHMENT
KNOWING THAT YOU'RE TEACHING
PEOPLE THINGS!
WHERE ELSE CAN YOU
GET THAT SAME... ♪
JUST A THOUGHT THAT YOU
HAVE HELPED SOMEBODY
WITH THEIR EDUCATION,
AND THOUGHT THAT THEY
MIGHT GO ON TO BIGGER
AND BETTER THINGS
BECAUSE OF YOU.
THESE REASONS AND MANY OTHERS,
THAT'S WHAT I LOVE
ABOUT BEING TEACHER.
OHH!
VERY BORING MR. KOTTER.
BORING! SO BORING!
EXCUSE ME MR. KOTTER,
I SEEM TO HAVE
MISPLACED SOMETHING.
I THINK ONE OF MY
BATTERIES FELL FROM
OUT OF MY SHORTS.
SAYONARA...
MR. TAKAHASHI, DID I
EVER TELL YOU ABOUT
MY UNCLE MAX AND HIS FRIEND?
WELL, MY UNCLE
MAX AND HIS FRIEND
ARE AT A CHINESE RESTAURANT,
AND THEY'RE TALKING
ABOUT POLITICS AND THE
WHOLE WORLD SITUATION,
AND EVERYTHING
AND HIS FRIEND SAYS,
"DO YOU KNOW, MAX, THAT
THERE'S JEWISH PEOPLE
ALL OVER THE WORLD?
DO YOU KNOW THAT THERE'S
JEWISH PEOPLE IN INDIA,
THERE'S INDIAN JEWS,
THERE'S JEWISH PEOPLE
IN PAKISTAN, PAKISTANI JEWS,
THERE'S EVEN CHINESE JEWS!"
NO.
THAT'S WHAT MAX SAYS.
"NO, THERE'S NO CHINESE...
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING
ABOUT, CHINESE JEWS?
THERE'S NO CHINESE JEWS."
CALLS OVER THE WAITER, SAYS,
"JUST A SECOND, COULD
YOU COME OVER HERE?
WE'RE HAVING AN ARGUMENT.
COULD YOU TELL US IF
THERE'S AN CHINESE JEWS?"
WAITER SAYS, "JUST
A SECOND, I FIND OUT."
GOES INTO THE KITCHEN,
COMES BACK IN A MINUTE,
SAYS, "NO SO SORRY,
NO CHINESE JEWS.
WE HAVE PRUNE
JUICE, TOMATO JUICE..."
♪
♪
♪ WELCOME BACK ♪
♪ YOUR DREAMS WERE
YOUR TICKET OUT ♪
♪ WELCOME BACK ♪
♪ TO THAT SAME OLD PLACE
THAT YOU LAUGHED ABOUT ♪
♪ WELL THE NAMES
HAVE ALL CHANGED
SINCE YOU HUNG AROUND ♪
♪ BUT THOSE DREAMS HAVE REMAINED
AND THEY'VE TURNED AROUND ♪
♪ WHO'D HAVE THOUGHT
THEY'D LEAD YOU ♪
♪ WHO'D HAVE THOUGHT
THEY'D LEAD YOU ♪
♪ BACK HERE WHERE WE NEED YA ♪
♪ BACK HERE WHERE WE NEED YA ♪
♪ YEAH WE TEASE HIM A LOT
'CAUSE WE GOT HIM ON THE SPOT ♪
♪ WELCOME BACK ♪
♪ WELCOME BACK, WELCOME
BACK, WELCOME BACK ♪
♪ WELCOME BACK, WELCOME BACK ♪
♪ WELCOME BACK ♪
♪ WE ALWAYS COULD
SPOT A FRIEND ♪
♪ WELCOME BACK ♪
♪ AND I SMILE WHEN I THINK
HOW YOU MUST'VE BEEN ♪
♪ AND I KNOW WHAT A SCENE
YOU WERE LEARNIN' IN ♪
♪ WAS THERE
SOMETHING THAT MADE YOU
COME BACK AGAIN ♪
♪ THEN WHAT COULD EVER LEAD YA ♪
♪ WHAT COULD EVER LEAD YA ♪
♪ BACK HERE WHERE WE NEED YA ♪
♪ BACK HERE WHERE WE NEED YA ♪
♪ WE TEASE HIM A LOT ♪♪
- WHAT?
MY AUNT GOES INTO A PET
STORE WITH MY LITTLE COUSIN.
TERRIFIC.
SHE SAYS, "LOOK AT THIS TURTLE.
HE BOUGHT THIS TURTLE
HERE JUST TWO WEEKS AGO.
LOOK AT IT MISTER!
IT'S GOT BLISTERS ON
THE BOTTOM OF ITS FEET!"
"LOOK, LADY, I SOLD
TURTLES FOR 37 YEARS.
I NEVER SAW A TURTLE
THAT HAD BLISTERS
ON THE BOTTOM OF ITS FEET.
WE WOULDN'T SELL
A TURTLE LIKE THAT.
BUT ALL RIGHT, LOOK, I
REMEMBER YOU BOUGHT IT HERE.
I'LL GIVE YOU ANOTHER TURTLE."
GIVES ANOTHER TURTLE
TO THE LITTLE BOY.
LITTLE BOY LIGHTS UP HE GOES,
"OH BOY, LOOK!
ANOTHER TURTLE TRUCK!"
VROOM VROOM VROOM VROOM.
♪
♪ WELCOME BACK ♪
♪ YOUR DREAMS WERE
YOUR TICKET OUT ♪
♪ WELCOME BACK ♪
♪ TO THAT SAME OLD PLACE
THAT YOU LAUGHED ABOUT ♪
♪ WELL THE NAMES
HAVE ALL CHANGED
SINCE YOU HUNG AROUND ♪
♪ BUT THOSE DREAMS HAVE REMAINED
AND THEY'VE TURNED AROUND ♪
♪ WHO'D HAVE THOUGHT
THEY'D LEAD YA ♪
♪ WHO'D HAVE THOUGHT
THEY'D LEAD YA ♪
♪ BACK HERE WHERE WE NEED YA ♪
♪ BACK HERE WHERE WE NEED YA ♪
♪ YEAH, WE TEASE HIM A LOT
'CAUSE WE GOT HIM ON THE SPOT ♪
♪ WELCOME BACK ♪
♪ WELCOME BACK, WELCOME
BACK, WELCOME BACK ♪
♪ WELCOME BACK, WELCOME
BACK, WELCOME BACK ♪♪
♪
OKAY!
EVERYBODY LET'S... LET'S
THANK MR. FERGUSON
FOR HIS CAREER
DAY TALK ON RADIO,
HOW TO BE A DJ FOR BIG PAY.
HOORAY!
OH!
OH VERY INSTRUCTIVE
MR. FERGUSON!
BUT TELL ME, DO YOU THINK THAT
WITH MY VOICE I TOO COULD
HAVE A REWARDING CAREER
AS A BIG TIME DJ?
ABSOLUTELY NOT, LITTLE FELLA.
BUT FOR THE REST OF
YOU BOYS AND GIRLS,
IF YOU LEARN YOUR TOP 40,
YOU PRACTICE SAYING THINGS LIKE,
"HERE'S ELVIS, HE'S THE KING."
OR "THE LONG ISLAND
EXPRESSWAY IS BLOCKED
UP FROM THE BRONX TO MONTAUK,"
YOU TOO CAN HAVE AN
EXCITING AND REWARDING
CAREER IN BIG TIME RADIO.
WELL, THAT'S ABOUT
ALL I HAVE FOR TODAY.
SAY GUYS AND GALS,
CATCH YOU ON THE FLIP SIDE.
ALL RIGHT!
HE'S A VERY INTERESTING
GUY, ISN'T HE?
YEAH.
HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT I
NOTICED, MR. KOTTER?
ALL THESE DUDES YOU GOT
COMING IN FOR CAREER DAY,
THEY GOT ONE THING IN COMMON.
THEY ALL MAKE MORE
MONEY THAN YOU.
KOTTER.
THIS IS YOUR NEXT
CAREER DAY SPEAKER,
MR. TAKAHASHI FROM
BOONYARI INDUSTRIES TOKYO,
HE'S AN INVENTOR.
- OH, NICE TO MEET YOU.
- AND YOU TOO.
TRY TO CONTROL
YOUR BEASTS, KOTTER.
REMEMBER THEY'RE SWEAT HOGS.
DON'T TURN YOUR BACK ON THEM.
PRETEND WE'RE STILL AT WAR.
SWEAT HOGS?
THAT'S MY CLASS' NICKNAME.
YEAH, I COME OFTEN TO
NEW YORK ON BUSINESS
AND I WANT TO GET TO
KNOW AMERICA BETTER.
SOON WE MAY BE BUYING BROOKLYN.
MR. TAKAHASHI,
WHY DON'T YOU BEGIN
YOUR CAREER DAY TALK?
I'M REALLY INTERESTED
IN INVENTIONS.
THIS SHOULD BE GREAT.
OH, CERTAINLY.
ALL RIGHT, CLASS,
I AM AN INVENTOR,
AND WITH ONE OF THE WORLD'S
LARGEST MANUFACTURERS
OF ELECTRONICS.
OH! OH OH OH!
IS HE ALL RIGHT?
THAT'S ABOUT AS ALL
RIGHT AS HE EVER GETS.
OH, I THOUGHT IT
WAS A DUCK TRYING
TO COMMIT HARAKIRI.
NO, I GOT A QUESTION
ABOUT YOUR CAREER.
YES?
HOW COME YOU'RE SO SHORT?
ARNOLD!
THAT'S ALL RIGHT MR. KOTTER.
IT'S NOT THAT I'M SO SHORT,
IT'S THAT HERE YOU ARE
ALL ABNORMALLY TALL.
I GOTTA QUESTION.
YOU EVER BEEN TO ONE
OF THEM GEISHA HOUSES?
GEISHA HOUSES?
VINNIE, WHAT DOES
THAT HAVE TO DO WITH
MR. TAKAHASHI'S CAREER?
NOTHING.
JUST THAT IF I'M EVER IN JAPAN
I ALWAYS WANNA KNOW
WHERE I COULD GO
TO HAVE A GOOD TIME.
MR. TAKAHASHI, WHY
DON'T YOU TELL US ABOUT
SOME OF YOUR INVENTIONS?
UH, YES, CERTAINLY.
WELL, I INVENTED
THE DIGITAL READ-OUT
REMOTE CONTROL HYDROSCOPE.
YOU MADE THAT UP, RIGHT?
OF COURSE I MADE
THAT UP, I'M AN INVENTOR!
WHAT GIVE ME GREATEST
PLEASURE ARE THINGS
I INVENT FOR PERSONAL AMUSEMENT.
LIKE WHAT?
TRANSISTORIZED UNDERWEAR RADIO.
UNDERWEAR RADIO?
CAN YOU GET FM?
YES I CAN GET FM.
I CAN GET ON A CLEAR DAY GUAM!
I NEVER FORGET THE
TIME I SITTING IN A SUBWAY
AND THE LADY NEXT TO
ME HEAR WOLFMAN JACK
HOWLING IN MY PANTS.
HEY, YOU GOT 'EM ON NOW?
YES.
COME ON, PLAY!
YEAH, LET'S HAVE A
LITTLE DEMONSTRATION.
COME ON!
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
SUPPOSE YOU ARE IN
A CROWDED SUBWAY
AND YOU WISH TO DANCE.
SUBWAY HAS NO STEREO, HMM?
♪ COME ON BABY
LET'S DO THE TWIST ♪
♪ COME ON BABY ♪
THAT IS THE DUMBEST THING
I'VE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE.
UNDERWEAR RADIO.
BOY, THE GUY'S GOT A
FEW BATTERIES LOOSE.
HEY, I HATE TO SEE HIM
TRY TO CHANGE STATIONS.
I CAN SEE I'M NOT
APPRECIATED HERE.
I'LL GO TO ANOTHER CLASS.
SHORT PEOPLE ARE SO SENSITIVE.
WHAT DID HE SAY?
I THINK THAT WAS
JAPANESE FOR UP YOUR NOSE
WITH A RUBBER HOSE.
KOTTER, HAVEN'T YOU
AND YOUR MENAGERIE
DONE ENOUGH?
MR. WHITMAN, MY
CLASS IS HERE BECAUSE
THEY HAVE SOMETHING
TO SAY TO MR. TAKAHASHI.
MY CLASS HAS SOMETHING
TO SAY TO MR. TAKAHASHI.
WHAT?
YOU'RE GOING TO APOLOGIZE?
WHEN?
RIGHT NOW.
I APOLOGIZE FOR THE WAY
I ACTED IN THE CLASSROOM.
YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT.
MR. KOTTER EXPLAINED
TO US THAT YOU WENT
OUT OF YOUR WAY TO TRY
AND TO TEACH US SOMETHING.
MR. TAKAHASHI!
I TOO WOULD LIKE TO
EXTEND MY APOLOGY
IF I IN ANY WAY OFFENDED YOU.
I AM TRULY SORRY
YOU'RE SO SHORT.
ARNOLD!
AND MR. TAKAHASHISH,
I THINK WHAT
MY FRIEND ARNOLD'S
TRYING TO SAY IS,
LOOK, WE'RE SORRY IF WE'RE
NOT GOOD STUDENTS, RIGHT?
BUT WHAT KIND OF
STUDENTS CAN YOU EXPECT
ON THE MONEY THEY PAY TEACHERS!
HOW MUCH DO AMERICAN
TEACHERS MAKE?
HA-HA-HA-HA!
WAIT A MINUTE!
CUT THIS OUT!
NOT FUNNY.
AND ALL RIGHT, ALL
RIGHT SWEAT HOGS
I ACCEPT YOUR APOLOGY.
MR. KOTTER, YOU ARE, UM,
A VERY PERSUASIVE MAN.
WHAT THE AMERICAN'S
CALL A CAN-DO KIND OF GUY.
I'M LOOKING FOR SUCH A
MAN TO HEAD MY SALES STAFF
IN MY NEW BRANCH IN CHICAGO.
I EVEN COME UP
WITH A FANCY TITLE:
VICE PRESIDENT IN
CHARGE OF CAN-DO.
WELL, THANKS A
LOT MR. TAKAHASHI,
BUT I'M HAPPY HERE
WITH THE SWEAT HOGS.
FOR SAY, UM, TWICE
YOUR PRESENT SALARY.
MR. TAKAHASHI,
OBVIOUSLY YOU DO NOT
UNDERSTAND WHAT A DEDICATED
EDUCATOR MR. KOTTER IS.
JUST A SECOND, ARNOLD.
YOU SAY TWO TIMES?
YES.
MR. KOTTER WILL HAVE
ABSOLUTELY NOTHING
TO DO WITH THAT.
ALL RIGHT, I MAKE THE
OFFER THREE TIMES.
NO DICE.
SHUT UP, HORSHACK!
THREE TIMES?
WITH A PENSION
PLAN, STOCK OPTION,
AND PARKING PLACE.
I DON'T EVEN HAVE A CAR.
AND A CAR!
HEY, NO WAY BABY.
NO WAY.
YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND SOMETHING.
THERE AIN'T NOTHING
YOU GONNA SAY
THAT'LL MAKE
MR. KOTTER LEAVE US.
- I KNOW THAT.
- THAT'S RIGHT.
WHAT KIND OF A CAR?
I'LL HANDLE THIS, KOTTER.
STICK SHIFT?
TAKAHASHI, YOU KNOW,
I MIGHT BE AVAILABLE
FOR THAT POSITION MYSELF.
AND I'M SHORT, WHICH
SHOULD MAKE YOU
FEEL RIGHT AT HOME.
I WILL BE IN NEW YORK
ALL WEEK, MR. KOTTER.
AT LEAST THINK ABOUT IT, HM?
I'LL WORK FOR LESS THAN KOTTER!
I WON'T LET YOU DOWN!
IMAGINE THE NERVE
OF THAT GUY, HUH?
TRYING TO LURE YOU FROM
THE BOWELS OF BUCHANAN.
AND FOR WHAT?
- FOR WHAT?
- YEAH.
THREE TIMES MY PRESENT SALARY,
STOCK OPTIONS AND
PENSION, A CAR, RIGHT?
PROBABLY WITH BUCKET SEATS!
I ALWAYS IMAGINED
MY SEAT IN A BUCKET.
♪
I-S-H.
NEBBISH.
NEBBISH ISN'T A WORD, GABE.
I DON'T WANT TO PLAY ANYMORE.
I CAN'T CONCENTRATE,
JULIE, I KEEP
THINKING ABOUT THAT JOB.
THE MONEY! WHAT IT WOULD MEAN!
GETTING OUT OF THIS
CRUMMY NEIGHBORHOOD.
THIS DOPEY ONE ROOM APARTMENT.
I THINK YOU SHOULD GRAB IT.
AND LEAVE ALL THIS?
THAT IS WHY I NEVER
GIVE YOU MY OPINION,
BECAUSE YOU NEVER LISTEN TO ME.
COME AGAIN?
GABE!
YOU'RE RIGHT, I'M SORRY.
I WANT YOUR OPINION.
CAN I PLEASE HAVE YOUR
OPINION, MRS. KOTTER?
I THINK IT WOULD BE
GREAT TO MOVE TO CHICAGO.
AND I THINK IT WOULD
BE GREAT FOR YOU
TO BE PAID A LOT OF MONEY.
I'M NOT GREEDY,
GABE, BUT JUST THINK
OF THE POSSIBILITIES.
A SECOND PAIR OF SHOES.
TWO ROOMS!
GABE, OUR KITCHEN WOULDN'T BE
IN OUR LIVING ROOM ANYMORE.
YEAH, I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN.
BE TERRIFIC TO GO
TO SLEEP ONE NIGHT
WITHOUT HAVING TO LISTEN
TO THE MEAT MARINATE.
AH, GOOD EVENING MR. KOTTER.
AH, MR. TAKAHASHI, COME IN.
UH, YOU WISH ME TO
REMOVE MY SHOES?
NO, NOT UNLESS YOU
STEPPED IN SOMETHING.
MR. TAKAHASHI, I'D LIKE
YOU TO MEET MY WIFE JULIE.
THIS IS MR. TAKAHASHI.
I'M HONORED.
HOW DO YOU DO?
MR. KOTTER, AS YOU WISHED, I
HAVE COME FOR YOUR ANSWER.
MR. TAKAHASHI, I HAVEN'T
MADE UP MY MIND YET.
YOU GOTTA GIVE ME
A LITTLE MORE TIME.
EXCUSE ME.
THAT CAR, WOULD
IT BE A CONVERTIBLE.
ANYTHING YOU WISH.
YOU'RE LOOKING FOR
THE KUNG FU STUDIO,
IT'S IN THE BASEMENT.
KONNICHIWA.
KONBANWA.
I WANTED TO TALK
TO YOU ONCE MORE
ABOUT THIS JOB BEFORE
YOU GIVE IT TO KOTTER
AND MAKE A BIG MISTAKE.
I ONCE MADE A BIG MISTAKE.
OH?
I ONCE PICKED UP A HITCHHIKER
OUTSIDE OF OSAKA WHO
LOOKED JUST LIKE YOU.
SAYONARA. GOODBYE.
BELIEVE ME, I'D BE
PERFECT FOR THE JOB.
I DRESS LIKE THIS ALL THE TIME
WHEN I'M NOT IN SCHOOL.
HEY, YOU KNOW, UM...
PERSONALLY, I NEVER
MINDED PEARL HARBOR.
I THINK THEY BLEW IT
OUT OF PROPORTION.
RIGHT.
I BET I COULD LEARN
TO LIKE RAW FISH.
MR. TAKAHASHI, YOU'LL
HAVE MY ANSWER
BY THE END OF THE DAY.
OKAY.
COME ON, WHY DON'T
YOU SAY GOODBYE
TO THE SWEAT HOGS, COME ON.
ALL RIGHT.
FOR THE HONOR OF
THE SWEAT HOGS...
WE DECIDED TO FIGHT
FOR OUR TEACHER.
YEAH, YEAH.
IF YOU WANNA TAKE
AWAY MR. KOTTER,
THAT MEANS WAR.
LOOK, I KNOW WHAT
YOU'RE TRYING TO DO,
AND I REALLY
APPRECIATE IT, BUT... AHHH!
YAH! YAH! YAH!
HI-YA!
HI-YA!
YA-YA!
YA-YA!
AH, SWEAT-HOPPER.
HELLO MASTER.
HOW ARE YA?
SWEAT-HOPPER IT'S OLD
PROVERB OF THE UNIVERSE:
IF BOY WEAR PLASTIC
WIG TOO TIGHT,
CUT OFF CIRCULATION TO BRAIN.
HE BECOME VILLAGE IDIOT.
OH, SO!
THANK YOU MASTER.
THAT EXPLAIN DIZZINESS.
STRANGE BOY,
MR. KOTTER, STRANGE.
YOU THINK HE'S STRANGE,
TAKE A LOOK AT WHAT'S
COMING THROUGH THE DOOR.
THESE ARE SOME RICE COOKIES
I BAKED FOR YOU.
HORSHACK, YOU TRYING
OUT FOR THE JOB TOO?
PLEASE, PLEASE, I DID NOT MEAN
TO BRING SUCH
DISCORD TO YOUR CLASS.
AH, WELL, AS CONFUCIUS ONCE SAY,
"YOU DON' GON'
AND DID IT, BABY."
I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND.
YOU SEE YOUR CLASS
DOES NOT WISH TO LOSE
THEIR TEACHER, AND
IT IS ALL MY FAULT,
BUT LET US EXAMINE WHAT
HAS HAPPENED HERE, HM?
I AM A NICE PERSON.
I AM NOT A BAD GUY.
I COME TO BUCHANAN HIGH
AND TALK ON CAREER DAY,
ABOUT WHAT I DO AS
INVENTOR, WHAT DO I FIND?
HAH!
OH, OH, OH, OH!
MAKE ME WANNA LOOK
UNDER TABLE FOR EGG.
NEXT I GET REMEDIAL ACADEMICS
ALL ABOUT JARGON,
REITERATE, "WE DA SWEAT HOGS."
THEN YOU ASK ME WHAT
I DO IN GEISHA HOUSE.
THAT NOBODY BUSINESS EXCEPT MINE
AND GIRL I MET IN OSAKA
NAMED HUTHUNAKU.
THEN YOU ASK ME, GO AHEAD
AND DEMONSTRATE INVENTIONS.
SO I DO, I'M A NICE PERSON.
I GET, "YOU GET FM?"
I GIVE YOU FM AND A GOOD
JOKE ABOUT WOLFMAN JACK,
BUT NOBODY APPRECIATE!
SO I SPLIT.
I GO TO ANOTHER CLASS!
I STILL OFFENDED, BUT I
ACCEPT YOUR APOLOGY,
AND OFFER MR. KOTTER JOB
TWO, THREE TIMES HIS SALARY
WITH STOCK OPTION, PENSION PLAN,
PARKING SPACE.
WHAT DO I GET?
CRAZY VICE PRINCIPAL
FOLLOW ME AROUND
WALK UP AND DOWN MY BACK
DRESSED LIKE A SAMURAI REJECT.
SASHIMI.
I DON'T WANT ALL THOSE THINGS.
COME HERE, WHAT DO I SEE?
SESAME STREET DOING
MADAME BUTTERFLY!
I DON'T WANT THOSE THINGS,
ALL I WANT IS TWO SIMPLE THINGS:
AN ANSWER FROM MR. KOTTER
AND A CHANCE TO TELL YOU
FOR THE LAST TIME, SAYUNARA,
ARRIVEDERCI, SHALOM!
GOODBYE, ADIOS, AND
SO LONG SWEAT HOGS!
LOOK, I CAN STRAIGHTEN
THIS WHOLE THING OUT.
YOU KNOW WHAT I FORGOT
TO DO ON CAREER DAY?
I FORGOT TO TALK
ABOUT MY CAREER!
WHAT IT MEANS TO BE A TEACHER!
YOUR TEACHER.
DO YOU KNOW HOW
GOOD I FEEL EVERY TIME
I TEACH YOU PEOPLE SOMETHING?
DO YOU KNOW I FEEL
GOOD, REALLY GOOD
WHEN I HELP YOU DISCOVER
THAT YOU'RE SMART,
NOT DUMB?
I DIDN'T KNOW THAT.
SON OF A GUN, YA
JUST DID IT AGAIN.
YA TAUGHT US SOMETHING!
YOU KNOW, I DON'T
DO IT FOR MONEY.
WE KNOW THAT.
LOOK AT THAT CHEAP TIE.
BUT YOU'D BE SURPRISED,
I LEARNED THINGS
FROM YOU PEOPLE TOO.
YEAH?
WHAT'D YOU EVER LEARN FROM ME?
I'M SURE SOMEDAY THERE'LL
BE SOMETHING THAT...
BECAUSE, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
I AM NOT LEAVING BUCHANAN.
MR. TAKAHASHI, I'M A TEACHER,
THAT'S WHAT I
SHOULD BE, A TEACHER.
AND I WANNA THANK YOU
FOR YOUR GENEROUS OFFER,
BUT I KNOW I'M A SUCCESS
EVERY TIME I LOOK
AT THESE FACES.
I'M REALLY SORRY
TO DISAPPOINT YOU.
AH, BUT YOU DID
NOT DISAPPOINT ME.
YOU'VE MADE ME VERY HAPPY.
BUT I'M TURNING DOWN THE JOB.
BUT YOU PROVED MY
JUDGMENT TO BE CORRECT.
I SELECTED A MAN OF
HONOR AND INTEGRITY.
WELL, HAVING MONEY
ISN'T EVERYTHING.
NOT HAVING MONEY
ISN'T EVERYTHING EITHER.
YOU DO IMPRESSIONS, VERY GOOD.
I DO IMPRESSIONS OF TALL PEOPLE.
JAMES CAGNEY.
YOU... YOU.
AND EDWARD G ROBINSON.
ALL RIGHT, YEAH, YEAH.
AND PORKY PIG.
THA-THE-THE-THA-THA-THE-
SAYONARA!
MR. TAKAHASHI, YOU
DON'T DO IMPRESSIONS,
YOU DO SUBTITLES.
MR. KOTTER, I'VE
HAD A GREAT TIME.
I MUST CATCH MY PLANE.
SAYONARA SWEAT HOGS.
SAYONARA BROTHER.
BYE MR. T!
AND TRY ONE OF THESE COOKIES!
OKAY, NOW I'M GONNA GIVE
YOU A CAREER DAY SPEECH
ON BEING A TEACHER.
NOW, SOMEDAY YOU'RE
ALL GONNA BE LEAVING HERE.
PROBABLY.
AND IN THAT SEAT
THERE'S GONNA BE
A NEW BARBARINO,
THERE'S GONNA BE
A NEW EPSTEIN, THERE'S GONNA BE
A NEW HORSHACK.
WELL, MAYBE NOT A NEW HORSHACK.
THEY'RE GONNA NEED TEACHERS.
THEY'RE GONNA NEED
PEOPLE TO MOLD THEIR MIND.
I WANT YOU TO CONSIDER
THE REWARDING CAREER
OF BEING A TEACHER.
THINK OF THE ACCOMPLISHMENT
KNOWING THAT YOU'RE TEACHING
PEOPLE THINGS!
WHERE ELSE CAN YOU
GET THAT SAME... ♪
JUST A THOUGHT THAT YOU
HAVE HELPED SOMEBODY
WITH THEIR EDUCATION,
AND THOUGHT THAT THEY
MIGHT GO ON TO BIGGER
AND BETTER THINGS
BECAUSE OF YOU.
THESE REASONS AND MANY OTHERS,
THAT'S WHAT I LOVE
ABOUT BEING TEACHER.
OHH!
VERY BORING MR. KOTTER.
BORING! SO BORING!
EXCUSE ME MR. KOTTER,
I SEEM TO HAVE
MISPLACED SOMETHING.
I THINK ONE OF MY
BATTERIES FELL FROM
OUT OF MY SHORTS.
SAYONARA...
MR. TAKAHASHI, DID I
EVER TELL YOU ABOUT
MY UNCLE MAX AND HIS FRIEND?
WELL, MY UNCLE
MAX AND HIS FRIEND
ARE AT A CHINESE RESTAURANT,
AND THEY'RE TALKING
ABOUT POLITICS AND THE
WHOLE WORLD SITUATION,
AND EVERYTHING
AND HIS FRIEND SAYS,
"DO YOU KNOW, MAX, THAT
THERE'S JEWISH PEOPLE
ALL OVER THE WORLD?
DO YOU KNOW THAT THERE'S
JEWISH PEOPLE IN INDIA,
THERE'S INDIAN JEWS,
THERE'S JEWISH PEOPLE
IN PAKISTAN, PAKISTANI JEWS,
THERE'S EVEN CHINESE JEWS!"
NO.
THAT'S WHAT MAX SAYS.
"NO, THERE'S NO CHINESE...
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING
ABOUT, CHINESE JEWS?
THERE'S NO CHINESE JEWS."
CALLS OVER THE WAITER, SAYS,
"JUST A SECOND, COULD
YOU COME OVER HERE?
WE'RE HAVING AN ARGUMENT.
COULD YOU TELL US IF
THERE'S AN CHINESE JEWS?"
WAITER SAYS, "JUST
A SECOND, I FIND OUT."
GOES INTO THE KITCHEN,
COMES BACK IN A MINUTE,
SAYS, "NO SO SORRY,
NO CHINESE JEWS.
WE HAVE PRUNE
JUICE, TOMATO JUICE..."
♪
♪
♪ WELCOME BACK ♪
♪ YOUR DREAMS WERE
YOUR TICKET OUT ♪
♪ WELCOME BACK ♪
♪ TO THAT SAME OLD PLACE
THAT YOU LAUGHED ABOUT ♪
♪ WELL THE NAMES
HAVE ALL CHANGED
SINCE YOU HUNG AROUND ♪
♪ BUT THOSE DREAMS HAVE REMAINED
AND THEY'VE TURNED AROUND ♪
♪ WHO'D HAVE THOUGHT
THEY'D LEAD YOU ♪
♪ WHO'D HAVE THOUGHT
THEY'D LEAD YOU ♪
♪ BACK HERE WHERE WE NEED YA ♪
♪ BACK HERE WHERE WE NEED YA ♪
♪ YEAH WE TEASE HIM A LOT
'CAUSE WE GOT HIM ON THE SPOT ♪
♪ WELCOME BACK ♪
♪ WELCOME BACK, WELCOME
BACK, WELCOME BACK ♪
♪ WELCOME BACK, WELCOME BACK ♪
♪ WELCOME BACK ♪
♪ WE ALWAYS COULD
SPOT A FRIEND ♪
♪ WELCOME BACK ♪
♪ AND I SMILE WHEN I THINK
HOW YOU MUST'VE BEEN ♪
♪ AND I KNOW WHAT A SCENE
YOU WERE LEARNIN' IN ♪
♪ WAS THERE
SOMETHING THAT MADE YOU
COME BACK AGAIN ♪
♪ THEN WHAT COULD EVER LEAD YA ♪
♪ WHAT COULD EVER LEAD YA ♪
♪ BACK HERE WHERE WE NEED YA ♪
♪ BACK HERE WHERE WE NEED YA ♪
♪ WE TEASE HIM A LOT ♪♪