Week-end Family (2022–…): Season 2, Episode 1 - Week-end Family: Un Noël gagnant-gagnant - full transcript
(POP MUSIC PLAYING)
(GRUNTING)
(HIGH-PITCHED GRUNTING)
(YELLS)
-(EXHALES)
-(DOORBELL RINGING)
(SIGHS)
(SCATTING)
Huh.
-Hello, madam.
-(SIGHS)
Don't know where my keys are.
I must have forgotten them this morning.
I'm sorry, do you live here?
FRIDAY
I don't remember seeing you
in this apartment?
Which is crazy,
'cause it's not very large at all.
Maybe you've been in the kitchen a lot,
I rarely go in there.
True, I'm often there.
I love cooking.
I'm detecting a little accent.
No. Not at all.
-Really?
-Absolutely not.
(CHUCKLING) Oh, there's a thing.
I think it's Mexican?
-Right?
-Well done.
Cup of coffee?
-(CHUCKLES)
-Señorita.
-Hi, Emma! Hi, Daddy!
-Hey!
-Happy 1-year!
-Too bad.
Hey! Your one year anniversary.
What have you planned, huh?
-Uh... Well...
-(BLOWS)
-Pizza and a film with the kids. Quiet.
-Uh-huh. There's that.
-That's all?
-FRED: Come on.
You make it sound like nothing,
but I got a special cake,
spicy pork sausages,
uh, I got guacamole and some chips.
-It's gonna be truly legendary.
-VICTOIRE: Emma!
Will you come listen to my song?
Uh... Just a sec!
-Has she made any progress?
-None whatsoever.
-FRED: Nothing, huh?
-Like, zero.
You really think she wants
a quiet night with cake and sausage?
Yeah. And stop talking about it.
You're making me hungry.
It's so annoying.
You left the door open?
-MARIE-ANGE: Hey!
-You could've started with,
"You're cool, Pops.
"Wow, Dad, you're handsome.
"I like you even though you're sweaty."
You know?
See the iceberg that broke in Antarctica?
Yeah, I read Iceberg News.
Well, because of you,
there's no more ice.
FRED: I'm not the only one at fault here.
I think that iceberg had already cracked
way before I left the door open, okay?
You consume too much.
And besides, it's springtime.
We need turn off the heat!
I'll remind you
that yesterday was four degrees.
And I don't wanna find my family
frozen stiff in the morning.
-You know what I'm saying?
-You're such a climate denier.
Oh...
Go easy on the showers.
No, you all have to shower,
so let's take it easy on the "easy."
Vic already doesn't use enough soap!
Well, I don't know. It could be you.
-'Cause something stinks.
-Hi, Papa.
-Oh, there's my baby!
-ROMY: Stop it!
How's my baby? How's my baby?
Papa, I'm so over it.
The baby, the baby! You're the baby.
Well, yes,
because it's coming really soon.
-HELENA: Romy!
-Wow!
-Hola! Gracias.
-Oh, my God. Are you okay?
-Let me take this.
-FRED: Wow. You've gotten so big!
Now it looks like
you might have four in there.
-Really?
-Mmm.
-Oh, well, it's noticeable and...
-You see? Big, huh?
-Here we go again.
-FRED: What?
-Oh.
-Well...
Okay, let's leave these two alone,
shall we?
-HELENA: Goodbye, everyone!
-We'll see you. Ciao!
You'll be okay?
-Um, yeah.
-Sure, I don't... Yeah? Yeah.
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)
Ooh!
Okay. Yeah, there.
Careful and...
-(BONES CRACK)
-Voilà!
Ooh...
It's crazy, huh? You're really tight.
-What did you do?
-It was at judo.
I wanted to practice some moves,
so I took the small guy,
but turns out he was...
-(SCREAMS) Don't do that.
-I'm so sorry, my bad.
-Excuse me. I'm sorry. Are you okay?
-(GROANS) Yeah.
We have to get used to the idea
that we're seniors, man.
Huh? Pardon?
-Uh-huh.
-Are you crazy? That's all in your mind.
I did the test
"What Senior Are You?" okay?
-And you know what came up?
-No.
I'm a Junior Plus.
-What? (GROANS)
-Yep.
-You're a Junior Plus? (GROANS)
-Yeah. Yeah.
-The one who... Ow.
-Yeah.
-Organizes... Ow, dude!
-Yeah.
-A TV night with his lady friend?
-Yeah.
-You're a Junior?
-In any case,
this Junior wants to take Emma to Venice.
She's been wanting to go forever.
-Yeah?
-But right now she's tired,
so we'll go for our
14th or 15th-month anniversary.
-It'll be nice.
-Yeah, unless you get dumped by then.
Thank you. But right now,
I just can't organize a trip to Venice.
-You realize that?
-Organize? A trip to Venice?
Come on, what do you need?
Just get some luggage on rollers
and bring a bikini.
Then you just head to the beach
and workout.
I think you're thinking about
Venice Beach.
Oh, Venice is the thing with the river?
That's a bit stereotypical, but yeah.
-There's also "gondolas."
-And pizzas as well.
-There's pizza, too. Yeah.
-Ah, nice.
Then it's even easier to plan
"Operation Venice."
-You get me?
-FRED: Operation...
Operation Venice.
-Operation Venice?
-Operation Venice.
Yeah, let's do it!
BOTH: Operation Venice!
This is what old people do.
They totally do that.
(MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS)
(YAWNING)
So, I know we were supposed to spend
the first year anniversary together.
-Uh-oh.
-But...
Mmm, I'm gonna have a romantic evening
with Emma, just she and I together.
You sure that's what she wants?
She's really tired.
(SCOFFS) Emma?
That girl is a rock. Totally strong.
She's tired,
but plan something and bam!
She's from Quebecer. They rally.
-(LAPTOP BEEPING)
-(SNORING)
(SHUSHES) Okay? It's a surprise for Emma,
so let's not say anything.
Who are the queens
of the 1-year anniversary?
KIDS: (MEEKLY) We're the queens
of 1-year anniversary.
I said, "Who are the queens
of our anniversary?"
KIDS: (RAISED VOICES)
We're the queens of 1-year anniversary.
Keep the volume down though.
Hey! Gérard!
GÉRARD: What's up?
It's nothing, he said it's tendonitis.
Nothing to panic.
If I were you, I'd still get a scan done.
You never know with the osteos.
-What about osteos?
-Well, you know, they aren't real doctors.
Yeah, but Fred has an actual degree.
Do you know how common tendonitis is?
Literally it's...
Stop it. I'm not listening.
-Cancer, sir. Yeah.
-Yeah, there you are.
Really? Shoulder cancer?
-Why not T-shirt cancer?
-Wow.
It's so unfortunate
you're laughing about that.
Yup, I also think it's unfortunate.
-You got a problem with the car?
-No.
-What... What are you doing then?
-Oh, well, I'm just checking.
Shall we go?
Does that mean each time you have a break,
you run a check?
Always. The exhaust pipe,
power steering and everything in between.
-Oh, yeah?
-Yeah, yeah.
And when you're at the car wash,
for example,
you stop and still run a check?
Even at the car wash from time to time.
Please put your belt on.
Click!
-I know that was a mouth click.
-Ah, hey, well played!
(LAUGHS) One day.
I've got paddle boats at the park?
Ah, but they're all booked.
(ROMY SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)
Hmm?
ROMY: You want a little baby, huh?
Oh, yes, you're having a baby.
Oh, the baby is going to be so cute.
Are you okay, my baby? (CHUCKLES)
Can we talk about
anything other than the baby?
That's all we talk about at Mom's.
The baby, the baby's room,
there are so many things for the baby,
there's no place to sit.
On weekends, when I'm here,
I'd like fresh air.
I know where you're coming from.
But change is the essence of life.
It even positive sometimes.
(CELL PHONE CHIMES)
Stan
Quick! I got a table! You get the gondola.
FRED: Yeah.
-That makes sense.
-Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!
I could make some changes, too.
Yeah, of course, of course. Of course!
You think?
Yeah, no problem.
-You're right, Papa. Thanks.
-Of course. What?
No, please,
a boat that's inflatable isn't...
The idea is Venice! So, what am I...
-(SNORING)
-Uh...
-Fred?
-Huh?
Oh, my God.
-Uh...
-Oh! Yeah?
What are you doing?
Oh.
I guess I passed out.
But with your phone in your hand?
Huh? Oh, wow! (CHUCKLES)
Ah, I remember.
I was actually listening to music.
I guess it must've been smooth jazz
or something that put me to sleep.
-And blackout!
-Hmm.
It's funny,
'cause your story sounds really fake,
but you say with total sincerity.
-Do you think I'm lying to you?
-Oh, yeah.
Well, I may have lied to you,
but I lied about small things.
Big things like sleep,
I'm not gonna lie to you, so...
Um, so...
Ah, Vic, you want some privacy?
You wanna take a shower?
-Let's leave her alone...
-No, it's okay. Please.
You're... (GROANS)
I feel like I wanna just
vomit immediately.
Mmm-hmm. With teenagers, you need to
treat them like a little sapling that...
Yeah, well, this sapling needs a shower.
About the showers,
apart from Vic, it's disastrous.
EMMA: What disastrous?
Little exaggeration.
-On average 13-minute showering.
-EMMA: Me?
-(LAUGHS) For shame, 13 minutes.
-Yeah, laugh it up. Yours is 17.
-Ha-ha, you're worse.
-It's 17 because I fall asleep.
I think that's what it is.
-You know what I'm gonna do?
-Huh?
I'm gonna put the boiler in eco-mode,
'cause you're not doing that.
Okay, then. I'm going to bed now.
-Good night, honey.
-Goodnight.
MAN: (OVER PHONE)
Happy to help any friend of Stan's.
-Seriously?
-Yeah, tomorrow's fine.
You have a gondola? Seriously?
-(TOILET FLUSHING)
-You have a gondola? Yes! Yes!
Oh. That's cool. Thank you.
Okay, great. Well, let's reserve it then.
You okay in there?
Yes, my love. I'm, uh, I'm in physio,
-um, with a patient.
-MAN: Is that good for you?
You're doing physio in there?
MAN: Fred?
Yeah, because we have better
reception in here. That's why the...
-Yeah, the signal's better. Uh...
-Hello, Fred?
-Can I see your shoulder again, sir?
-My shoulder?
You fall asleep in the bathroom,
you're in physio in the bathroom,
thankfully, I'm not a jealous woman.
-MAN: My shoulder?
-Uh, baby, don't be jealous, my love.
Listen, sweetheart, I love you for life,
I'm gonna continue working
on this guy's shoulder.
Yeah.
(WHISPERING) I'm reserving it.
Thank you. See you.
-(BEEPS)
-(SIGHS)
Yes!
Your friend found me a gondola.
Now we need a gondolier.
Professional or amateur?
Huh?
(SQUEALING, LAUGHING)
Got you!
I'm hitting you.
CLARA: Hey.
FRED: Hey!
Whoa! Calm down. Romy, stop.
-Hey. Romy, go upstairs.
-ROMY: Papa.
I thought about what you said
earlier about positive changes.
-FRED: Huh?
-And I agree.
So, during the weekdays
I'm going to be staying here.
But when did I say that?
I didn't say that?
You did. You said,
"Change is the essence of life, Romy."
Oh, that? No, I, I... No.
(CHUCKLING) It came out all wrong.
If you're here on weekends and weekdays,
you won't see your mother.
-ROMY: That won't work.
-Right?
Then I'll go to Mom's on weekends.
And that'll make it only two baby days!
-Done!
-No, Romy, that's...
-What about us?
-We'll see each other less.
But still, there's the holidays.
We'll figure it out.
Romy, we're not gonna change
how we organize where you girls stay.
-Do you understand that?
-Great idea! Let's reorganize.
So we'll discuss it
when Mom comes on Sunday.
-Perfect!
-No, we're not discussing it.
This discussion just ended.
Is she awake?
SATURDAY
It's a reaction to the baby.
Romy doesn't want to be left out
so she's isolating herself.
You know what, perhaps she's forgotten.
In fact, she probably did.
-Her memory's so short...
-I thought about it.
Since I'm here all week,
I think I'm going to need
two shelves in refrigerator
instead of just the one.
Can you help me, Emma?
-Well, I, uh... (GRUNTS)
-Awesome, thanks!
Okay, looks like
she definitely has a good memory.
So, it's true.
She prefers us. What can I say.
Are you sure this will do any good?
She might not even like us anymore.
-Hey, no, no. She loves you.
-She can't do without you.
The key is for us to remind...
So you want us to manipulate her?
What's with the big words?
I just want her to have a great weekend.
So she changes her mind.
Yeah, that sounds like manipulation.
Yeah, so what?
Hey girls!
Whoever uses my cereal bowl,
is gonna find a toothbrush in the toilet!
(SNICKERS) Toothbrush...
-That was a funny joke.
-EMMA: (WHISPERS) Got it?
This weekend we're making Romy happy.
Make sure we all stick to the plan.
It's Romy time.
-Romy time. Romy time.
-Romy time.
-That's it, Romy time.
-Romy time.
Romy time. Romy time.
It's important, okay?
(PHONE RINGTONE, STAN'S VOICE)
Pick up, it's Stan!
Ah, it's Stan time.
Stan, he has a shoulder problem time.
He thinks I'm gonna solve it time,
but now, I don't have time.
Yeah, um, uh, did we have a gondolier?
(SINGING IN ITALIAN)
Whoa! Whoa!
(GRUNTS)
Clara! Clara!
EMMA: Mmm-hmm.
Well, it was my stepdaughter.
She saw a tutorial
and tried to change the settings
and a piece fell off.
Oh, the valve?
-Huh?
-EMMA: Well, yeah, maybe.
It's the valve?
Oh, please not the valve.
-Uh, yeah.
-Wait a minute.
-What about the valve?
-What's that?
-EMMA: Not until Monday?
-Oh, no, no, no, no. Tomorrow.
-As them to come tomorrow because...
-EMMA: Oh, well, no.
-Please come.
-(GROANS)
We'll the valve like that ourselves.
-This is not happening.
-Okay, then see you Monday.
-Sorry.
-Okay...
So, nobody touches that.
And we won't have any water at all
until Monday.
Bravo, Clara.
The boiler valve needs to be replaced.
You managed to break it.
-The valve?
-No, never touch a valve, please.
It's the thing that holds
the whole system together.
It snaps...
It's like the diamond of the apartment.
Normally, it's red and it says,
"Don't touch."
You touched the valve,
you shoot the boiler.
That's crazy. Everybody should know that.
You're always on social media.
FlikFlok and all that.
But it's not that cold, Dad.
And now we're doing something good.
Yeah, well, that's just great.
Super, we're doing this
for the environment and the family!
For Clara! Hip-hip...
Hooray!
How about we watch a movie?
Romy, you choose.
Really? Even if we've seen it
a thousand times?
Even if we've seen it a thousand times.
All right!
ALL: (WHISPERING)
Not Ponies. Not Ponies. Not Ponies.
-Ta-da!
-CLARA: Oh, great.
-Pony.
-ROMY: The Ponies are so good.
Romy, I made your favorite.
-Look.
-Thank you!
Oh, yeah. Careful.
There's chocolate in it. Yum, yum!
(HORSE WHINNIES OVER TV)
You want any?
-VICTOIRE: No.
-No? Okay.
-Okay, okay. All right.
-You don't wanna sit with us?
-Or...
-Uh, no, I'm all good.
-Plus, there's really no room for me.
-Fred, what's wrong?
-You're acting suspicious.
-Uh...
(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
-Really?
-Hmm. Yeah.
I'm not acting suspicious,
just thinking about something.
Yeah.
-(DOORBELL RINGS)
-Oh!
Was that the doorbell?
We're not expecting anyone. Are you guys?
Romy, how about you?
Is it your boyfriend?
-Who is it?
-No idea. Don't look at me.
-(DOOR OPENS, CLOSES)
-STAN: Oh! Let's go!
(BOTH SINGING)
Whoo! Surprise!
FRED: Surprise!
Already dressed.
-Whoa! (SIGHS)
-Handsome!
-This is...
-FRED: Every time.
I told you I'm wearing my blue outfit.
But you come here.
Why did you dress like me?
-Because I thought you said...
-There's no surprise.
-"Put on your blue shirt."
-Fred. Fred.
-FRED: You bought that today?
-What's happening?
(SIGHS) What's happening
is our 1-year anniversary.
-And I wanted to surprise you.
-Surprise!
FRED: Can you be quiet?
What's the surprise?
The surprise isn't wearing
the same clothes.
The surprise is,
you're going to Venice.
-To Venice?
-Well, almost Venice.
-Almost Venice.
-EMMA: Okay. But what about the girls?
Enter Uncle Stan.
Tonight, we're eating... Lasagna!
-Yeah!
-(CHANTING) Lasagna! Lasagna!
-VICTOIRE: Oh, that's cool.
-Let's see. This isn't lasagna.
-Lasagna! Uh...
-This is raclette.
I made a mistake.
I took a frozen raclette.
What's that green stuff?
I can't believe this.
No worries, 'cause when you melt it
you don't see it anymore.
-Anyway, you happy, Em?
-Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
-FRED: It's great, isn't it?
-You know...
Am I wrong or is it a little cold in here?
-The boiler's broken.
-Is that it?
I can fix it. I know all about that.
No, no, don't touch it. Stan!
-STAN: Actually, it's not the boiler.
-(SWITCH CLICKING)
No, don't touch anything. Stan, please,
please, please don't touch anything.
-No!
-STAN: Ouch!
-Yeah.
-That was the electrical panel.
Yeah, but it's not my fault, huh.
Next time, you need to write
"Don't touch this."
-That wasn't the boiler.
-Yeah.
(MELANCHOLY MUSIC PLAYING)
Well, we're...
Well, we're going and...
And it looks to me like we're gonna
miss out on something kind of fun.
You can always stay.
Hope you have a good night.
-But it'll be...
-Hey, I found my raclette pan!
-FRED: Wait, but that's not a...
-Oh! Hey!
Why haven't you left yet?
Hey, relax, man. You have to be calm.
You're taking care of my girls tonight.
That's why I said to myself,
that's weird, stay serene.
That's a little on edge. Great.
-And this is not a pan for raclette.
-Uh-oh, do I look crazy.
No.
So I calculated three candles, like this,
so that within 25 minutes, it's melted.
And how do you come to know that?
Because I did the experiment,
but the other way around. So...
So you put cheese in there
and melted it?
-Once it was melted, I froze it.
-Oh, please explain.
I waited for it to be hard
and the max time was 22, maybe 27 minutes.
So, let's cut small pieces of bread. Yeah?
-With scissors.
-Sounds kind of fun.
We'll have some melted cheese
with a little bit of crunch,
and then we'll watch a movie
I brought for you.
The Monks' Temple is Not For Sale.
VICTOIRE: At least it's not about ponies.
STAN: Uh-huh.
(ITALIAN SONG PLAYING)
(SPEAKING ITALIAN) All beautiful. Sí?
-Yes, all beautiful.
-Ah, sí, sí.
(IN ENGLISH) What do you think, babe?
I brought Venice to you, my love.
Yeah, beautiful.
Awesome boat, right?
-They don't exist, okay?
-Nope.
Starting now, we won't bother you.
From this point forward,
tell yourselves we're invisible.
GÉRARD: Okay, scusi, you two lovebirds.
Given the extra weight we are carrying,
I'll ask you to sign a release. So...
Let me just give you this and we'll get
your signatures right here on this page.
-Grazie.
-BOTH: Okay.
-Uh...
-Lots of procedures with this little boat.
Okay, I will go over
emergency procedures now, so listen up.
Bring it to your mouth and do a...
"Tsi-tsa-tsi-tsi."
-Okay? Tsi-tsa-tsi-tsi.
-Okay.
And why the whistle?
(SPEAKING ITALIAN) So, if you have
a problem, a danger, something...
-(IN ENGLISH) Okay.
-You do... "Tsi-tsi."
But we really can drown?
-No, no. No.
-Not at all. Not at all.
Ah, so, technically, yes.
There's an Italian study that says...
(SPEAKS ITALIAN) A person, few people...
(IN ENGLISH) Could die under a few
millimeters of water.
-What?
-GÉRARD: (IN ITALIAN) Water.
-We're right next to the edge, so...
-(IN ITALIAN) The music.
(LAUGHS)
-(ITALIAN FOLK MUSIC PLAYING)
-Italiano. Ciao, Maurizio.
How are you?
(IN ENGLISH) How are you?
-MAN: (IN ITALIAN) I'm fine!
-Right, are you fine?
FRED: Ciao!
(IN ENGLISH) It's so romantic.
(LAUGHING)
Yes. Ciao. Ciao.
(IN ENGLISH) I wanna tell you,
you are the vanilla cream...
-Whoa.
-...to my tiramisu.
-Ooh.
-You're the...
You are the melted cheese
to my ground steak.
Oh, yeah.
Oh! (IN ITALIAN) Watch out!
(IN ENGLISH) Be careful!
(IN ITALIAN)
The gondola, on the left. Thank you.
-I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
-Sorry.
(IN ENGLISH)
It's not very stable, huh?
Didn't you hear him?
There's too much weight on the left.
-You're the problem.
-Cut it out!
-Yo!
-(IN ITALIAN) Hey, little girl! Calm down!
-(IN ENGLISH) You two calm down!
-(IN ITALIAN) Hey, the gondola!
(IN ENGLISH) We said no trouble
this weekend, okay?
Why no trouble this weekend?
I didn't say this weekend,
I said no trouble.
-You said this weekend. Because Romy...
-Vic...
'Cause Romy what?
Romy, we just wanted to make sure
that you'd have a terrific weekend.
-FRED: Yeah.
-It's our last weekend with you.
Okay.
I thought you were all being
too nice this weekend.
You're actually faking the whole thing.
-No. No, it's...
-Nothing like that.
You don't want me during the week.
-No, no way. No way.
-Why would you say something like that?
(IN ITALIAN) Hey, hey, sit down!
(IN ENGLISH) Hey, Gérard!
-Don't yell at Fred, bro!
-(ALL SHOUTING)
Everyone, calm down!
(ALL CLAMORING)
(ALL SCREAM)
(ALL SHOUTING)
(COUGHING)
Are you okay?
Well, listen, best thing is that
Vic is gonna change her clothes, right?
Yeah.
I'll be right there.
-(COUGHING)
-Wow! Okay.
(SNIFFLES)
Em...
Happy 1-year, honey.
This'll be a good memory.
We might end up talking about it
next year and everything.
(SHIVERS, EXHALES)
(CLEARS THROAT) I'm okay.
All right, repeat after me. "I'm so hot."
ROMY AND VICTOIRE: I'm so hot.
CLARA: I'm so hot!
-I'm so hot. I'm so hot.
-I'm so hot. I'm so hot.
-I'm so hot.
-I'm so hot.
Romy? Why do you want to stay here
for all the weekdays?
Being a big sister isn't so bad.
You get to be the boss.
And you can give them all the clothes
you don't like saying they're too small.
-(SNEEZES)
-(COUGHS)
How about we try the Coué Method instead?
(ALL LAUGHING)
(PLEASANT MUSIC PLAYING)
SUNDAY
(WHISPERS) Vic.
-Vic.
-Mmm?
You really need to take a shower.
Hygiene is very important.
Okay? Come on.
(GRUNTS)
Okay, sorry. Actually, no. Turn around.
Yeah, sorry.
REPORTER: (ON SPEAKERS)
...temperatures will be a notch below
of what we were experiencing yesterday.
Tomorrow morning, we'll see the
sunshine again south of the Loire Valley,
but in the north...
-Honestly, we can't leave them like this.
-What do you think we should do?
Well, I have an idea.
-All right. Okay.
-Come on! We're close.
-We're close.
-Don't worry. I'm fine.
-ROMY: We're going in this direction.
-Okay.
ALL: Welcome to the Spa-family!
-Oh, what? (CHUCKLES)
-Wow.
Magical. Impressive.
We want to apologize for yesterday.
So, today's just for you.
A romantic moment.
Pretend we're not here.
If we do that, now, I'm not so sure
you kids would be so comfortable with it.
-Wouldn't you agree? Yeah.
-No, no. We'll pretend you're 100% here.
(GRUNTS)
Oh, wow.
Romy, you know...
We wanted to say
we're a little sorry for...
We did it the wrong way, maybe.
-But our intentions were good.
-(CHUCKLES)
I'm not here. It's your moment.
You're right here. I see you.
(CHUCKLES)
Sweetie, we'd be thrilled
if you stayed with us, too,
but we're not sure
that's the best for you.
(SHUSHES) It's your moment.
(COUGHS) Excuse me.
-FRED: Oh!
-I'm sorry about the boiler valve.
I mean, it's like you with Romy,
my intentions were good.
-Wow.
-EMMA: Hmm.
You know what,
we'll ask the plumber to install
a day-night contactor for hot water.
Then a thermostat,
so it's doesn't heat up too much.
Wow, where on earth
did you come up with that? A contactor?
It's very common in Quebec.
Everyone knows about it.
Oh, yes, of course, with the
cold-hot water which you have there.
EMMA: Mmm-hmm.
That's right, I'm a heating expert.
Wow! Wow! (EXCLAIMS)
-(DOORBELL RINGING)
-Huh?
Ah, shit!
-What do you want?
-Am I disturbing you?
-Yes, we're in the spa with the girls.
-Just two minutes and then I'll leave.
I came to see you
because Gérard is really upset.
So, I mentioned the boiler
over a cup of coffee
and he told me, "Wait, tell him
that I can fix it to make up for..."
-Well, you know.
-(SCOFFS) No, I'm telling you,
that guy is a moron.
-I don't have a good feeling about him.
-No.
I feel stressed
as soon as I'm near the guy.
He's got bad vibes.
Come on, he's got a good heart.
No, it's obvious he has
a disgusting heart and a dark soul.
As soon as he's there,
it's like (BLOWS)
he releases negative energy.
But see, that's to your advantage, man.
He wants to make things up to you
and fix your boiler.
Free.
(SIGHS) Okay, all right. Okay.
-Okay? You're saying okay?
-It's fine. Yeah, tell him to come.
-It'll make him very happy. Really.
-Yeah, it's fine.
Thank you. Thank you.
-He said it's fine. Come on.
-FRED: What?
Hello.
(SCOFFS) Uh... Uh, okay.
'Cause you were...
He was right there the whole time?
-Yeah, I heard everything. So...
-You heard...
-Ah...
-(BOTH CHUCKLE)
GÉRARD: Where's the boiler?
-In here. Okay. I'm sorry.
-GÉRARD: Great.
No, it's all good.
Friends help friends, right? (CHUCKLES)
Is this guy even...
STAN: The boiler's on the right.
-Hold on. Shut the door.
-He'll do a good job. Don't worry.
Romy! (IN SPANISH) Beautiful, come on!
-(IN ENGLISH) How are you?
-Good, you?
I'm good, thank you.
-Hey, you.
-VICTOIRE: Hey.
-Romy's not here? Yeah.
-Everything good, sweetie?
-(IN SPANISH) Bye, beautiful!
-(IN ENGLISH) See you soon!
(IN SPANISH) Hi, chubby girl!
-(IN ENGLISH) It's growing, huh?
-Ah! Hola. Yeah.
Big. So, um...
What's going on?
No, no, no, it's nothing.
Well, nothing serious.
-You know, it's actually kind of funny.
-I don't have all day.
-Fred, I'm very hormonal. Go ahead.
-I know.
-Just...
-Uh, yeah, it's, uh...
-Hey!
-(IN SPANISH) Hello, dear!
(IN ENGLISH) There she is! She's here.
-(IN SPANISH) How are you, beautiful?
-(IN ENGLISH) There we go.
Was there something
that you wanted to say?
-Shh.
-Uh, no, no, she didn't know if she wanted
-to take her green cap or the red one.
-HELENA: Mmm-hmm.
-All right.
-And it's the green one.
-Okay, Fred.
-So that's settled.
-All right.
-You know what?
-Thank you.
-You are hormonal, too.
-Yeah, take care. Ciao.
-Bye, Hel.
-Ooh!
-(GRUNTS)
(CHUCKLES)
And... (SIGHS) Go ahead.
I'll see you. Have a nice weekend.
Did you see? She loves me.
-Did you see? She doesn't love me.
-Yeah.
(ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYING)
-Good evening, lady.
-EMMA: Ooh!
-Ooh!
-(EMMA CHUCKLES)
So you were saying that
you need to relax a little.
-Yeah.
-Didn't you, baby?
That's right. So I brought you
all kinds of treats here.
(MUTTERS)
Huh?
It's back on.
Oh, that's cool, the guy fixed the meter.
-(KNOCK AT DOOR)
-All good! Everything's repaired.
I fixed everything.
The boiler's working fine, okay?
Hopefully with what I've done,
it should hold up perfectly
until you're able to get your new piece.
-That's great.
-Thank you.
Great. Thank you very much.
Thank you. Bye-bye. Okay.
Ciao.
(ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYING)
-Excuse me.
-Yes?
-Just one thing. Oh, sorry.
-FRED: No. No problem.
-Yeah?
-GÉRARD: I checked everything
and we're really not
up to code at all here.
-Honestly, it's just a hot mess.
-All right.
Ooh. You're having candied cherries.
-Yes.
-My favorite.
Uh, that's right. They're delicious.
-Go ahead and have one then if you'd like.
-Oh, that's very kind.
-It's my guilty pleasure really.
-There you go.
Mmm.
-Enjoy.
-See you later.
-Good luck to you.
-FRED: Thank you, sir.
-EMMA: Thank you.
-Thank you, Gérard.
-Those really are good!
-Stan!
-Goodbye!
-Oh, sorry. He's good, huh?
-Bye, Stan.
-Bye.
He touched the whole edge here.
-It's okay. Don't worry.
-But he put his hands on meter.
-Where were we?
-(ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYING)
-(GÉRARD CLEARS THROAT)
-EMMA: What?
-Actually, I'm just... The thing is...
-The marshmallows, right?
That's fine. There you go. Come on.
-There you go. Go on.
-Thank you.
Ciao. There's bread
in the kitchen as well.
Cookies and chocolate bars.
-You know where they are, Stan.
-Yeah.
'Cause you keep eating them.
They're missing. Okay.
I know it's you. That's it.
Thank you. Shut the door!
-Goodbye, Gérard. Thank you very much.
-GÉRARD: Thank you for trusting me.
-Thank you.
-Wow.
(LAUGHS)
Could you believe those guys?
They're relentless.
What do you think they're doing out there?
Going through all of our cupboards?
-You better eat that.
-(SIGHS)
(ROMANTIC MUSIC CONTINUES)
(GRUNTING)
(HIGH-PITCHED GRUNTING)
(YELLS)
-(EXHALES)
-(DOORBELL RINGING)
(SIGHS)
(SCATTING)
Huh.
-Hello, madam.
-(SIGHS)
Don't know where my keys are.
I must have forgotten them this morning.
I'm sorry, do you live here?
FRIDAY
I don't remember seeing you
in this apartment?
Which is crazy,
'cause it's not very large at all.
Maybe you've been in the kitchen a lot,
I rarely go in there.
True, I'm often there.
I love cooking.
I'm detecting a little accent.
No. Not at all.
-Really?
-Absolutely not.
(CHUCKLING) Oh, there's a thing.
I think it's Mexican?
-Right?
-Well done.
Cup of coffee?
-(CHUCKLES)
-Señorita.
-Hi, Emma! Hi, Daddy!
-Hey!
-Happy 1-year!
-Too bad.
Hey! Your one year anniversary.
What have you planned, huh?
-Uh... Well...
-(BLOWS)
-Pizza and a film with the kids. Quiet.
-Uh-huh. There's that.
-That's all?
-FRED: Come on.
You make it sound like nothing,
but I got a special cake,
spicy pork sausages,
uh, I got guacamole and some chips.
-It's gonna be truly legendary.
-VICTOIRE: Emma!
Will you come listen to my song?
Uh... Just a sec!
-Has she made any progress?
-None whatsoever.
-FRED: Nothing, huh?
-Like, zero.
You really think she wants
a quiet night with cake and sausage?
Yeah. And stop talking about it.
You're making me hungry.
It's so annoying.
You left the door open?
-MARIE-ANGE: Hey!
-You could've started with,
"You're cool, Pops.
"Wow, Dad, you're handsome.
"I like you even though you're sweaty."
You know?
See the iceberg that broke in Antarctica?
Yeah, I read Iceberg News.
Well, because of you,
there's no more ice.
FRED: I'm not the only one at fault here.
I think that iceberg had already cracked
way before I left the door open, okay?
You consume too much.
And besides, it's springtime.
We need turn off the heat!
I'll remind you
that yesterday was four degrees.
And I don't wanna find my family
frozen stiff in the morning.
-You know what I'm saying?
-You're such a climate denier.
Oh...
Go easy on the showers.
No, you all have to shower,
so let's take it easy on the "easy."
Vic already doesn't use enough soap!
Well, I don't know. It could be you.
-'Cause something stinks.
-Hi, Papa.
-Oh, there's my baby!
-ROMY: Stop it!
How's my baby? How's my baby?
Papa, I'm so over it.
The baby, the baby! You're the baby.
Well, yes,
because it's coming really soon.
-HELENA: Romy!
-Wow!
-Hola! Gracias.
-Oh, my God. Are you okay?
-Let me take this.
-FRED: Wow. You've gotten so big!
Now it looks like
you might have four in there.
-Really?
-Mmm.
-Oh, well, it's noticeable and...
-You see? Big, huh?
-Here we go again.
-FRED: What?
-Oh.
-Well...
Okay, let's leave these two alone,
shall we?
-HELENA: Goodbye, everyone!
-We'll see you. Ciao!
You'll be okay?
-Um, yeah.
-Sure, I don't... Yeah? Yeah.
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)
Ooh!
Okay. Yeah, there.
Careful and...
-(BONES CRACK)
-Voilà!
Ooh...
It's crazy, huh? You're really tight.
-What did you do?
-It was at judo.
I wanted to practice some moves,
so I took the small guy,
but turns out he was...
-(SCREAMS) Don't do that.
-I'm so sorry, my bad.
-Excuse me. I'm sorry. Are you okay?
-(GROANS) Yeah.
We have to get used to the idea
that we're seniors, man.
Huh? Pardon?
-Uh-huh.
-Are you crazy? That's all in your mind.
I did the test
"What Senior Are You?" okay?
-And you know what came up?
-No.
I'm a Junior Plus.
-What? (GROANS)
-Yep.
-You're a Junior Plus? (GROANS)
-Yeah. Yeah.
-The one who... Ow.
-Yeah.
-Organizes... Ow, dude!
-Yeah.
-A TV night with his lady friend?
-Yeah.
-You're a Junior?
-In any case,
this Junior wants to take Emma to Venice.
She's been wanting to go forever.
-Yeah?
-But right now she's tired,
so we'll go for our
14th or 15th-month anniversary.
-It'll be nice.
-Yeah, unless you get dumped by then.
Thank you. But right now,
I just can't organize a trip to Venice.
-You realize that?
-Organize? A trip to Venice?
Come on, what do you need?
Just get some luggage on rollers
and bring a bikini.
Then you just head to the beach
and workout.
I think you're thinking about
Venice Beach.
Oh, Venice is the thing with the river?
That's a bit stereotypical, but yeah.
-There's also "gondolas."
-And pizzas as well.
-There's pizza, too. Yeah.
-Ah, nice.
Then it's even easier to plan
"Operation Venice."
-You get me?
-FRED: Operation...
Operation Venice.
-Operation Venice?
-Operation Venice.
Yeah, let's do it!
BOTH: Operation Venice!
This is what old people do.
They totally do that.
(MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS)
(YAWNING)
So, I know we were supposed to spend
the first year anniversary together.
-Uh-oh.
-But...
Mmm, I'm gonna have a romantic evening
with Emma, just she and I together.
You sure that's what she wants?
She's really tired.
(SCOFFS) Emma?
That girl is a rock. Totally strong.
She's tired,
but plan something and bam!
She's from Quebecer. They rally.
-(LAPTOP BEEPING)
-(SNORING)
(SHUSHES) Okay? It's a surprise for Emma,
so let's not say anything.
Who are the queens
of the 1-year anniversary?
KIDS: (MEEKLY) We're the queens
of 1-year anniversary.
I said, "Who are the queens
of our anniversary?"
KIDS: (RAISED VOICES)
We're the queens of 1-year anniversary.
Keep the volume down though.
Hey! Gérard!
GÉRARD: What's up?
It's nothing, he said it's tendonitis.
Nothing to panic.
If I were you, I'd still get a scan done.
You never know with the osteos.
-What about osteos?
-Well, you know, they aren't real doctors.
Yeah, but Fred has an actual degree.
Do you know how common tendonitis is?
Literally it's...
Stop it. I'm not listening.
-Cancer, sir. Yeah.
-Yeah, there you are.
Really? Shoulder cancer?
-Why not T-shirt cancer?
-Wow.
It's so unfortunate
you're laughing about that.
Yup, I also think it's unfortunate.
-You got a problem with the car?
-No.
-What... What are you doing then?
-Oh, well, I'm just checking.
Shall we go?
Does that mean each time you have a break,
you run a check?
Always. The exhaust pipe,
power steering and everything in between.
-Oh, yeah?
-Yeah, yeah.
And when you're at the car wash,
for example,
you stop and still run a check?
Even at the car wash from time to time.
Please put your belt on.
Click!
-I know that was a mouth click.
-Ah, hey, well played!
(LAUGHS) One day.
I've got paddle boats at the park?
Ah, but they're all booked.
(ROMY SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)
Hmm?
ROMY: You want a little baby, huh?
Oh, yes, you're having a baby.
Oh, the baby is going to be so cute.
Are you okay, my baby? (CHUCKLES)
Can we talk about
anything other than the baby?
That's all we talk about at Mom's.
The baby, the baby's room,
there are so many things for the baby,
there's no place to sit.
On weekends, when I'm here,
I'd like fresh air.
I know where you're coming from.
But change is the essence of life.
It even positive sometimes.
(CELL PHONE CHIMES)
Stan
Quick! I got a table! You get the gondola.
FRED: Yeah.
-That makes sense.
-Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!
I could make some changes, too.
Yeah, of course, of course. Of course!
You think?
Yeah, no problem.
-You're right, Papa. Thanks.
-Of course. What?
No, please,
a boat that's inflatable isn't...
The idea is Venice! So, what am I...
-(SNORING)
-Uh...
-Fred?
-Huh?
Oh, my God.
-Uh...
-Oh! Yeah?
What are you doing?
Oh.
I guess I passed out.
But with your phone in your hand?
Huh? Oh, wow! (CHUCKLES)
Ah, I remember.
I was actually listening to music.
I guess it must've been smooth jazz
or something that put me to sleep.
-And blackout!
-Hmm.
It's funny,
'cause your story sounds really fake,
but you say with total sincerity.
-Do you think I'm lying to you?
-Oh, yeah.
Well, I may have lied to you,
but I lied about small things.
Big things like sleep,
I'm not gonna lie to you, so...
Um, so...
Ah, Vic, you want some privacy?
You wanna take a shower?
-Let's leave her alone...
-No, it's okay. Please.
You're... (GROANS)
I feel like I wanna just
vomit immediately.
Mmm-hmm. With teenagers, you need to
treat them like a little sapling that...
Yeah, well, this sapling needs a shower.
About the showers,
apart from Vic, it's disastrous.
EMMA: What disastrous?
Little exaggeration.
-On average 13-minute showering.
-EMMA: Me?
-(LAUGHS) For shame, 13 minutes.
-Yeah, laugh it up. Yours is 17.
-Ha-ha, you're worse.
-It's 17 because I fall asleep.
I think that's what it is.
-You know what I'm gonna do?
-Huh?
I'm gonna put the boiler in eco-mode,
'cause you're not doing that.
Okay, then. I'm going to bed now.
-Good night, honey.
-Goodnight.
MAN: (OVER PHONE)
Happy to help any friend of Stan's.
-Seriously?
-Yeah, tomorrow's fine.
You have a gondola? Seriously?
-(TOILET FLUSHING)
-You have a gondola? Yes! Yes!
Oh. That's cool. Thank you.
Okay, great. Well, let's reserve it then.
You okay in there?
Yes, my love. I'm, uh, I'm in physio,
-um, with a patient.
-MAN: Is that good for you?
You're doing physio in there?
MAN: Fred?
Yeah, because we have better
reception in here. That's why the...
-Yeah, the signal's better. Uh...
-Hello, Fred?
-Can I see your shoulder again, sir?
-My shoulder?
You fall asleep in the bathroom,
you're in physio in the bathroom,
thankfully, I'm not a jealous woman.
-MAN: My shoulder?
-Uh, baby, don't be jealous, my love.
Listen, sweetheart, I love you for life,
I'm gonna continue working
on this guy's shoulder.
Yeah.
(WHISPERING) I'm reserving it.
Thank you. See you.
-(BEEPS)
-(SIGHS)
Yes!
Your friend found me a gondola.
Now we need a gondolier.
Professional or amateur?
Huh?
(SQUEALING, LAUGHING)
Got you!
I'm hitting you.
CLARA: Hey.
FRED: Hey!
Whoa! Calm down. Romy, stop.
-Hey. Romy, go upstairs.
-ROMY: Papa.
I thought about what you said
earlier about positive changes.
-FRED: Huh?
-And I agree.
So, during the weekdays
I'm going to be staying here.
But when did I say that?
I didn't say that?
You did. You said,
"Change is the essence of life, Romy."
Oh, that? No, I, I... No.
(CHUCKLING) It came out all wrong.
If you're here on weekends and weekdays,
you won't see your mother.
-ROMY: That won't work.
-Right?
Then I'll go to Mom's on weekends.
And that'll make it only two baby days!
-Done!
-No, Romy, that's...
-What about us?
-We'll see each other less.
But still, there's the holidays.
We'll figure it out.
Romy, we're not gonna change
how we organize where you girls stay.
-Do you understand that?
-Great idea! Let's reorganize.
So we'll discuss it
when Mom comes on Sunday.
-Perfect!
-No, we're not discussing it.
This discussion just ended.
Is she awake?
SATURDAY
It's a reaction to the baby.
Romy doesn't want to be left out
so she's isolating herself.
You know what, perhaps she's forgotten.
In fact, she probably did.
-Her memory's so short...
-I thought about it.
Since I'm here all week,
I think I'm going to need
two shelves in refrigerator
instead of just the one.
Can you help me, Emma?
-Well, I, uh... (GRUNTS)
-Awesome, thanks!
Okay, looks like
she definitely has a good memory.
So, it's true.
She prefers us. What can I say.
Are you sure this will do any good?
She might not even like us anymore.
-Hey, no, no. She loves you.
-She can't do without you.
The key is for us to remind...
So you want us to manipulate her?
What's with the big words?
I just want her to have a great weekend.
So she changes her mind.
Yeah, that sounds like manipulation.
Yeah, so what?
Hey girls!
Whoever uses my cereal bowl,
is gonna find a toothbrush in the toilet!
(SNICKERS) Toothbrush...
-That was a funny joke.
-EMMA: (WHISPERS) Got it?
This weekend we're making Romy happy.
Make sure we all stick to the plan.
It's Romy time.
-Romy time. Romy time.
-Romy time.
-That's it, Romy time.
-Romy time.
Romy time. Romy time.
It's important, okay?
(PHONE RINGTONE, STAN'S VOICE)
Pick up, it's Stan!
Ah, it's Stan time.
Stan, he has a shoulder problem time.
He thinks I'm gonna solve it time,
but now, I don't have time.
Yeah, um, uh, did we have a gondolier?
(SINGING IN ITALIAN)
Whoa! Whoa!
(GRUNTS)
Clara! Clara!
EMMA: Mmm-hmm.
Well, it was my stepdaughter.
She saw a tutorial
and tried to change the settings
and a piece fell off.
Oh, the valve?
-Huh?
-EMMA: Well, yeah, maybe.
It's the valve?
Oh, please not the valve.
-Uh, yeah.
-Wait a minute.
-What about the valve?
-What's that?
-EMMA: Not until Monday?
-Oh, no, no, no, no. Tomorrow.
-As them to come tomorrow because...
-EMMA: Oh, well, no.
-Please come.
-(GROANS)
We'll the valve like that ourselves.
-This is not happening.
-Okay, then see you Monday.
-Sorry.
-Okay...
So, nobody touches that.
And we won't have any water at all
until Monday.
Bravo, Clara.
The boiler valve needs to be replaced.
You managed to break it.
-The valve?
-No, never touch a valve, please.
It's the thing that holds
the whole system together.
It snaps...
It's like the diamond of the apartment.
Normally, it's red and it says,
"Don't touch."
You touched the valve,
you shoot the boiler.
That's crazy. Everybody should know that.
You're always on social media.
FlikFlok and all that.
But it's not that cold, Dad.
And now we're doing something good.
Yeah, well, that's just great.
Super, we're doing this
for the environment and the family!
For Clara! Hip-hip...
Hooray!
How about we watch a movie?
Romy, you choose.
Really? Even if we've seen it
a thousand times?
Even if we've seen it a thousand times.
All right!
ALL: (WHISPERING)
Not Ponies. Not Ponies. Not Ponies.
-Ta-da!
-CLARA: Oh, great.
-Pony.
-ROMY: The Ponies are so good.
Romy, I made your favorite.
-Look.
-Thank you!
Oh, yeah. Careful.
There's chocolate in it. Yum, yum!
(HORSE WHINNIES OVER TV)
You want any?
-VICTOIRE: No.
-No? Okay.
-Okay, okay. All right.
-You don't wanna sit with us?
-Or...
-Uh, no, I'm all good.
-Plus, there's really no room for me.
-Fred, what's wrong?
-You're acting suspicious.
-Uh...
(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
-Really?
-Hmm. Yeah.
I'm not acting suspicious,
just thinking about something.
Yeah.
-(DOORBELL RINGS)
-Oh!
Was that the doorbell?
We're not expecting anyone. Are you guys?
Romy, how about you?
Is it your boyfriend?
-Who is it?
-No idea. Don't look at me.
-(DOOR OPENS, CLOSES)
-STAN: Oh! Let's go!
(BOTH SINGING)
Whoo! Surprise!
FRED: Surprise!
Already dressed.
-Whoa! (SIGHS)
-Handsome!
-This is...
-FRED: Every time.
I told you I'm wearing my blue outfit.
But you come here.
Why did you dress like me?
-Because I thought you said...
-There's no surprise.
-"Put on your blue shirt."
-Fred. Fred.
-FRED: You bought that today?
-What's happening?
(SIGHS) What's happening
is our 1-year anniversary.
-And I wanted to surprise you.
-Surprise!
FRED: Can you be quiet?
What's the surprise?
The surprise isn't wearing
the same clothes.
The surprise is,
you're going to Venice.
-To Venice?
-Well, almost Venice.
-Almost Venice.
-EMMA: Okay. But what about the girls?
Enter Uncle Stan.
Tonight, we're eating... Lasagna!
-Yeah!
-(CHANTING) Lasagna! Lasagna!
-VICTOIRE: Oh, that's cool.
-Let's see. This isn't lasagna.
-Lasagna! Uh...
-This is raclette.
I made a mistake.
I took a frozen raclette.
What's that green stuff?
I can't believe this.
No worries, 'cause when you melt it
you don't see it anymore.
-Anyway, you happy, Em?
-Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
-FRED: It's great, isn't it?
-You know...
Am I wrong or is it a little cold in here?
-The boiler's broken.
-Is that it?
I can fix it. I know all about that.
No, no, don't touch it. Stan!
-STAN: Actually, it's not the boiler.
-(SWITCH CLICKING)
No, don't touch anything. Stan, please,
please, please don't touch anything.
-No!
-STAN: Ouch!
-Yeah.
-That was the electrical panel.
Yeah, but it's not my fault, huh.
Next time, you need to write
"Don't touch this."
-That wasn't the boiler.
-Yeah.
(MELANCHOLY MUSIC PLAYING)
Well, we're...
Well, we're going and...
And it looks to me like we're gonna
miss out on something kind of fun.
You can always stay.
Hope you have a good night.
-But it'll be...
-Hey, I found my raclette pan!
-FRED: Wait, but that's not a...
-Oh! Hey!
Why haven't you left yet?
Hey, relax, man. You have to be calm.
You're taking care of my girls tonight.
That's why I said to myself,
that's weird, stay serene.
That's a little on edge. Great.
-And this is not a pan for raclette.
-Uh-oh, do I look crazy.
No.
So I calculated three candles, like this,
so that within 25 minutes, it's melted.
And how do you come to know that?
Because I did the experiment,
but the other way around. So...
So you put cheese in there
and melted it?
-Once it was melted, I froze it.
-Oh, please explain.
I waited for it to be hard
and the max time was 22, maybe 27 minutes.
So, let's cut small pieces of bread. Yeah?
-With scissors.
-Sounds kind of fun.
We'll have some melted cheese
with a little bit of crunch,
and then we'll watch a movie
I brought for you.
The Monks' Temple is Not For Sale.
VICTOIRE: At least it's not about ponies.
STAN: Uh-huh.
(ITALIAN SONG PLAYING)
(SPEAKING ITALIAN) All beautiful. Sí?
-Yes, all beautiful.
-Ah, sí, sí.
(IN ENGLISH) What do you think, babe?
I brought Venice to you, my love.
Yeah, beautiful.
Awesome boat, right?
-They don't exist, okay?
-Nope.
Starting now, we won't bother you.
From this point forward,
tell yourselves we're invisible.
GÉRARD: Okay, scusi, you two lovebirds.
Given the extra weight we are carrying,
I'll ask you to sign a release. So...
Let me just give you this and we'll get
your signatures right here on this page.
-Grazie.
-BOTH: Okay.
-Uh...
-Lots of procedures with this little boat.
Okay, I will go over
emergency procedures now, so listen up.
Bring it to your mouth and do a...
"Tsi-tsa-tsi-tsi."
-Okay? Tsi-tsa-tsi-tsi.
-Okay.
And why the whistle?
(SPEAKING ITALIAN) So, if you have
a problem, a danger, something...
-(IN ENGLISH) Okay.
-You do... "Tsi-tsi."
But we really can drown?
-No, no. No.
-Not at all. Not at all.
Ah, so, technically, yes.
There's an Italian study that says...
(SPEAKS ITALIAN) A person, few people...
(IN ENGLISH) Could die under a few
millimeters of water.
-What?
-GÉRARD: (IN ITALIAN) Water.
-We're right next to the edge, so...
-(IN ITALIAN) The music.
(LAUGHS)
-(ITALIAN FOLK MUSIC PLAYING)
-Italiano. Ciao, Maurizio.
How are you?
(IN ENGLISH) How are you?
-MAN: (IN ITALIAN) I'm fine!
-Right, are you fine?
FRED: Ciao!
(IN ENGLISH) It's so romantic.
(LAUGHING)
Yes. Ciao. Ciao.
(IN ENGLISH) I wanna tell you,
you are the vanilla cream...
-Whoa.
-...to my tiramisu.
-Ooh.
-You're the...
You are the melted cheese
to my ground steak.
Oh, yeah.
Oh! (IN ITALIAN) Watch out!
(IN ENGLISH) Be careful!
(IN ITALIAN)
The gondola, on the left. Thank you.
-I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
-Sorry.
(IN ENGLISH)
It's not very stable, huh?
Didn't you hear him?
There's too much weight on the left.
-You're the problem.
-Cut it out!
-Yo!
-(IN ITALIAN) Hey, little girl! Calm down!
-(IN ENGLISH) You two calm down!
-(IN ITALIAN) Hey, the gondola!
(IN ENGLISH) We said no trouble
this weekend, okay?
Why no trouble this weekend?
I didn't say this weekend,
I said no trouble.
-You said this weekend. Because Romy...
-Vic...
'Cause Romy what?
Romy, we just wanted to make sure
that you'd have a terrific weekend.
-FRED: Yeah.
-It's our last weekend with you.
Okay.
I thought you were all being
too nice this weekend.
You're actually faking the whole thing.
-No. No, it's...
-Nothing like that.
You don't want me during the week.
-No, no way. No way.
-Why would you say something like that?
(IN ITALIAN) Hey, hey, sit down!
(IN ENGLISH) Hey, Gérard!
-Don't yell at Fred, bro!
-(ALL SHOUTING)
Everyone, calm down!
(ALL CLAMORING)
(ALL SCREAM)
(ALL SHOUTING)
(COUGHING)
Are you okay?
Well, listen, best thing is that
Vic is gonna change her clothes, right?
Yeah.
I'll be right there.
-(COUGHING)
-Wow! Okay.
(SNIFFLES)
Em...
Happy 1-year, honey.
This'll be a good memory.
We might end up talking about it
next year and everything.
(SHIVERS, EXHALES)
(CLEARS THROAT) I'm okay.
All right, repeat after me. "I'm so hot."
ROMY AND VICTOIRE: I'm so hot.
CLARA: I'm so hot!
-I'm so hot. I'm so hot.
-I'm so hot. I'm so hot.
-I'm so hot.
-I'm so hot.
Romy? Why do you want to stay here
for all the weekdays?
Being a big sister isn't so bad.
You get to be the boss.
And you can give them all the clothes
you don't like saying they're too small.
-(SNEEZES)
-(COUGHS)
How about we try the Coué Method instead?
(ALL LAUGHING)
(PLEASANT MUSIC PLAYING)
SUNDAY
(WHISPERS) Vic.
-Vic.
-Mmm?
You really need to take a shower.
Hygiene is very important.
Okay? Come on.
(GRUNTS)
Okay, sorry. Actually, no. Turn around.
Yeah, sorry.
REPORTER: (ON SPEAKERS)
...temperatures will be a notch below
of what we were experiencing yesterday.
Tomorrow morning, we'll see the
sunshine again south of the Loire Valley,
but in the north...
-Honestly, we can't leave them like this.
-What do you think we should do?
Well, I have an idea.
-All right. Okay.
-Come on! We're close.
-We're close.
-Don't worry. I'm fine.
-ROMY: We're going in this direction.
-Okay.
ALL: Welcome to the Spa-family!
-Oh, what? (CHUCKLES)
-Wow.
Magical. Impressive.
We want to apologize for yesterday.
So, today's just for you.
A romantic moment.
Pretend we're not here.
If we do that, now, I'm not so sure
you kids would be so comfortable with it.
-Wouldn't you agree? Yeah.
-No, no. We'll pretend you're 100% here.
(GRUNTS)
Oh, wow.
Romy, you know...
We wanted to say
we're a little sorry for...
We did it the wrong way, maybe.
-But our intentions were good.
-(CHUCKLES)
I'm not here. It's your moment.
You're right here. I see you.
(CHUCKLES)
Sweetie, we'd be thrilled
if you stayed with us, too,
but we're not sure
that's the best for you.
(SHUSHES) It's your moment.
(COUGHS) Excuse me.
-FRED: Oh!
-I'm sorry about the boiler valve.
I mean, it's like you with Romy,
my intentions were good.
-Wow.
-EMMA: Hmm.
You know what,
we'll ask the plumber to install
a day-night contactor for hot water.
Then a thermostat,
so it's doesn't heat up too much.
Wow, where on earth
did you come up with that? A contactor?
It's very common in Quebec.
Everyone knows about it.
Oh, yes, of course, with the
cold-hot water which you have there.
EMMA: Mmm-hmm.
That's right, I'm a heating expert.
Wow! Wow! (EXCLAIMS)
-(DOORBELL RINGING)
-Huh?
Ah, shit!
-What do you want?
-Am I disturbing you?
-Yes, we're in the spa with the girls.
-Just two minutes and then I'll leave.
I came to see you
because Gérard is really upset.
So, I mentioned the boiler
over a cup of coffee
and he told me, "Wait, tell him
that I can fix it to make up for..."
-Well, you know.
-(SCOFFS) No, I'm telling you,
that guy is a moron.
-I don't have a good feeling about him.
-No.
I feel stressed
as soon as I'm near the guy.
He's got bad vibes.
Come on, he's got a good heart.
No, it's obvious he has
a disgusting heart and a dark soul.
As soon as he's there,
it's like (BLOWS)
he releases negative energy.
But see, that's to your advantage, man.
He wants to make things up to you
and fix your boiler.
Free.
(SIGHS) Okay, all right. Okay.
-Okay? You're saying okay?
-It's fine. Yeah, tell him to come.
-It'll make him very happy. Really.
-Yeah, it's fine.
Thank you. Thank you.
-He said it's fine. Come on.
-FRED: What?
Hello.
(SCOFFS) Uh... Uh, okay.
'Cause you were...
He was right there the whole time?
-Yeah, I heard everything. So...
-You heard...
-Ah...
-(BOTH CHUCKLE)
GÉRARD: Where's the boiler?
-In here. Okay. I'm sorry.
-GÉRARD: Great.
No, it's all good.
Friends help friends, right? (CHUCKLES)
Is this guy even...
STAN: The boiler's on the right.
-Hold on. Shut the door.
-He'll do a good job. Don't worry.
Romy! (IN SPANISH) Beautiful, come on!
-(IN ENGLISH) How are you?
-Good, you?
I'm good, thank you.
-Hey, you.
-VICTOIRE: Hey.
-Romy's not here? Yeah.
-Everything good, sweetie?
-(IN SPANISH) Bye, beautiful!
-(IN ENGLISH) See you soon!
(IN SPANISH) Hi, chubby girl!
-(IN ENGLISH) It's growing, huh?
-Ah! Hola. Yeah.
Big. So, um...
What's going on?
No, no, no, it's nothing.
Well, nothing serious.
-You know, it's actually kind of funny.
-I don't have all day.
-Fred, I'm very hormonal. Go ahead.
-I know.
-Just...
-Uh, yeah, it's, uh...
-Hey!
-(IN SPANISH) Hello, dear!
(IN ENGLISH) There she is! She's here.
-(IN SPANISH) How are you, beautiful?
-(IN ENGLISH) There we go.
Was there something
that you wanted to say?
-Shh.
-Uh, no, no, she didn't know if she wanted
-to take her green cap or the red one.
-HELENA: Mmm-hmm.
-All right.
-And it's the green one.
-Okay, Fred.
-So that's settled.
-All right.
-You know what?
-Thank you.
-You are hormonal, too.
-Yeah, take care. Ciao.
-Bye, Hel.
-Ooh!
-(GRUNTS)
(CHUCKLES)
And... (SIGHS) Go ahead.
I'll see you. Have a nice weekend.
Did you see? She loves me.
-Did you see? She doesn't love me.
-Yeah.
(ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYING)
-Good evening, lady.
-EMMA: Ooh!
-Ooh!
-(EMMA CHUCKLES)
So you were saying that
you need to relax a little.
-Yeah.
-Didn't you, baby?
That's right. So I brought you
all kinds of treats here.
(MUTTERS)
Huh?
It's back on.
Oh, that's cool, the guy fixed the meter.
-(KNOCK AT DOOR)
-All good! Everything's repaired.
I fixed everything.
The boiler's working fine, okay?
Hopefully with what I've done,
it should hold up perfectly
until you're able to get your new piece.
-That's great.
-Thank you.
Great. Thank you very much.
Thank you. Bye-bye. Okay.
Ciao.
(ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYING)
-Excuse me.
-Yes?
-Just one thing. Oh, sorry.
-FRED: No. No problem.
-Yeah?
-GÉRARD: I checked everything
and we're really not
up to code at all here.
-Honestly, it's just a hot mess.
-All right.
Ooh. You're having candied cherries.
-Yes.
-My favorite.
Uh, that's right. They're delicious.
-Go ahead and have one then if you'd like.
-Oh, that's very kind.
-It's my guilty pleasure really.
-There you go.
Mmm.
-Enjoy.
-See you later.
-Good luck to you.
-FRED: Thank you, sir.
-EMMA: Thank you.
-Thank you, Gérard.
-Those really are good!
-Stan!
-Goodbye!
-Oh, sorry. He's good, huh?
-Bye, Stan.
-Bye.
He touched the whole edge here.
-It's okay. Don't worry.
-But he put his hands on meter.
-Where were we?
-(ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYING)
-(GÉRARD CLEARS THROAT)
-EMMA: What?
-Actually, I'm just... The thing is...
-The marshmallows, right?
That's fine. There you go. Come on.
-There you go. Go on.
-Thank you.
Ciao. There's bread
in the kitchen as well.
Cookies and chocolate bars.
-You know where they are, Stan.
-Yeah.
'Cause you keep eating them.
They're missing. Okay.
I know it's you. That's it.
Thank you. Shut the door!
-Goodbye, Gérard. Thank you very much.
-GÉRARD: Thank you for trusting me.
-Thank you.
-Wow.
(LAUGHS)
Could you believe those guys?
They're relentless.
What do you think they're doing out there?
Going through all of our cupboards?
-You better eat that.
-(SIGHS)
(ROMANTIC MUSIC CONTINUES)