Weeds (2005–2012): Season 7, Episode 10 - System Overhead - full transcript

Previously on "Weeds"...

Not coming to Vermont!
You're not invited!

The S.E.C. knows
your fund is a sham,

a Ponzi scheme.

They're gonna come after you.

You're really good
at burning shit down.

I wore a wire
for the S.E.C.

Shit.
They'll get me on arson.

- And he's missing, so, attempted murder.
- I got to leave.

I'm Emma from Pouncy House.

What?



Pouncy House Party Rentals.

We're the big boy on the block.

A call comes in,
Alex takes a code,

the code goes into the brain,
where it becomes a sale.

How have we not met before?

This is gonna be
a legitimate business.

Main space is all yours.
Drug stuff in the back.

This isn't what I wanted.

I stole this
from the police department.

Well, that was fast.

That's your competition.

I mean, how you gonna
steal something

off a fucking computer,
anyhow, right?

I mean, unless you print it out.



Put those on.

What the hell is this?

The computer.

Holy shit!

Say it.
Just say it.

- I'm at a loss, Silas.
- Well, you're a dick.

- Happy you got laid, but guess what.
- You hire the competition.

- Tell her everything on her first day.
- You slept with the devil.

- Basically destroy our business.
- She came in, ruined my bike shop.

Andy, not now!

Wait. Slept with?

Thanks.

That was the girl from
last night on the roof -- Emma.

So...now they also
know where we live.

Yeah, she's probably
there right now.

The loft ceilings are
an added challenge for her.

But she'll have an
extension ladder, scissor lift.

Crafty bitch
must have a scissor lift.

- You're not helping.
- I'm not helping?

Might want to open a window
in that glass house, Nancy.

Unh-unh. This is Silas.

- Oh, yeah, sure. No responsibility here.
- I tried to tell you.

- I can't look at you, you're so muy blanco.
- You were on a date.

- Or getting a pot delivery.
- Oh, my God, stop blinding me,

Miss Pure as the Driven Snow.

Or having your prison lover --

Enough, both of you!

Oh, the -- the safe?

I never told her the combo.

That must be
second-date material.

Should I just strap on some gravity boots,
pretend nothing's wrong?

You're the front business. The front business
exists because of the back business...

Without the back business, there would
be no front business!

They took the Copenhagen wheels.

- Oh.
- Sorry.

So, what was on this computer?

Customer names, codes,
addresses, phone numbers.

So, everything.
We still have the phone.

Clients call in their orders.
We'll start gathering info.

They -- they took everything
that was not nailed down...

Up.

...And they left the phone.

Call it.

Silas and Nancy's
more important drug business.

Press 1 for an eighth of arrogance.

Shh. It's ringing.

Pouncy House Party Rentals.

- Shit!
- They stole our phone number.

So our customers
are gonna get Pouncy House!

Perfect!

I'm gonna take care of it.

Did you hear me?
I'm gonna take care of it.

I heard you.

Press 2 for an ounce
of misplaced hope

and 3 for a kilo
of unending blind futility.

Beep.

Zoya? She's gone.

Got a call from her
last night --

Something about a wire
and Vermont.

A kennel, maybe?

I don't know. Sounded like
she was on a train or something.

She burns bright...
And free.

I have something to show you.

Controlling your portions?

Zoya's tough on plates.

And bowls --
anything breakable, really.

I have a corporal friend.

Did a little extra scouting
in the fields near Kharjoy.

Said it was beautiful there.

Then we bombed the shit
out of it.

That's fantastic. Hope you have
a safe place to store it.

I do -- with you.

In return,
I safely store your money.

I-I can't take this.
Not now.

What happened to the girl
begging me for 60 pounds?

She has competition muscling in,
stealing her customers.

Then we muscle back.

"We"?

I got some friends
sitting around bored on base.

They'd welcome the opportunity
to kick some ass.

Oh, great.

Pack of post-traumatic stress
soldiers --

That's the answer to my prayers.

I'm exposed on this one.

I owe now, so it's
kind of both our problem.

Y-you're confusing
our arrangement.

You sell to me.
I buy from you.

That's it.
Maybe a little sex.

But there's no "we."
There's no..."our."

There's no "us."

Fine.

You need to solve
your problem today,

or I work on it myself.

Shane, can we talk
about this later?

Ms. Botwin?

This is Detective Ouellette
with the NYPD.

Why do you have my son's phone?

We need to talk.

I'm gonna go find Emma.

Need you to make sure no one
comes in or out today.

I'm sorry, Andy.

Everything's
upside down --

all so completely,
totally upside down.

It's just a bike shop.

"It's just a bike shop."

No, I know that you want this
to be a success.

I get that. But --

But I'm never supposed to
actually achieve success?

Yes.

Yes, you are.
But maybe not with this.

I mean, you sold
like six in Denmark,

and four of them were returned.

One family who did not
read the instructions.

I'm sorry, Mr. Bakovic,

that my Danish-to-Serbian
translations weren't spot-on.

Um...Yeah.
You're right.

I had no business plan.

Had no reason to do well.

It's all fine.

I'm -- I've seen that show
"Life After People."

I...

This will all be reclaimed
by the earth soon enough.

Just nothing but swamp
and moss...

Weird-looking birds.

Maybe if you just stood up.
Yeah, come on, Andy.

Just -- just stand up.

Come on!

You upside down.

I am, Mr. Yu.
Thanks for noticing.

All night, you people here.
Make noise. Upset turtles.

Oh.
We're, uh, remodeling.

Come back soon.

I'm gonna go talk to Emma.

Then we'll get this place
cleaned up,

and we'll get your wheels back.

Okay, go.
Find Emma.

Find whatever it is
you want from her --

vengeance, peace, success...

Babies...Hate.

Maybe you shouldn't sit alone
in here all day.

- It's so...executive.
- Open it.

- Cubans?
- Ah!

Fuck Cubans.

Venezuelans.

Ch?vez has this private island
off the coast.

He's got like 20 kids there
hand-rolling these fuckers.

That's awesome!

You earned these.

I can't believe we've got them

by their motherfucking,
goddamn pensions!

Serves them right, though.

Government employees
trying to get fat

without having to work for it?

You see all the hot girls
in the lobby?

I'm interviewing
for a new assistant.

Nice.

Doug Wilson?

Leave your r?sum?.
We'll be in touch.

Jolene Waite.
I'm with the S.E.C.

Nice to meet you.

I thought we were done
with you guys.

Of course you did.

Kick us to the curb,
hope we'll move on.

Well, we're not over you.
Sorry.

Well, we still have
your pensions, remember.

Hard to forget.
My boss is peeved.

Been chewing rear ends
all morning, including mine.

That's why I'm here,
back on spreadsheet duty.

Spreadsheet duty?

Indeed -- got to go through
your files,

analyze your handling
of our pensions.

Geez. You guys really
crank the heat in here.

Y-you don't trust us
with your money?

Fool me once, shame on me, right?

We need to be properly funded,

and we need to be independent
from the rest of your shammery.

Okay. I see.

You're looking for a little old
return on your investment.

What are you hoping for, doll?
10%? 20%?

I'm sure we can
make something work.

Just bring me your records.

I'll start sorting
and highlighting.

Think I'll work there.

I don't like her.

I think you've got my son?

Who the hell are you?

Nancy Botwin?

Oh, Ms. Botwin.

Uh...Betz, go get
the car washed, will you?

Ms. Botwin, I'm Mitch Ouellette.
Thanks for coming in.

Yeah. Could we dispense
with the parent-teacher conference crap?

I just want to get my kid and go.

Yeah, Shane told me
you were a hard-ass.

Well, uh, Shane says
a lot of stuff.

You just got to take it all
with a grain of salt.

Was he lying about his dads?

Have a seat.

You ever hear of
Pouncy House Party Rentals?

I haven't had the chance
to plan a lot of parties lately.

No, they're weed dealers.

Bunch of graduate students
up at Columbia.

Intellectual fucks.

Never been a major priority
for us, frankly.

Good for them?

I caught Shane going
through their files,

and when I confronted him
with it, he got defensive

and stopped answering
my questions.

Any idea why he would do that?

No, are you asking
as a -- a detective

or a child psychologist
or a wannabe parent

trying to butt into
other people's business?

Ms. Botwin,
I got a boy of my own

and enough God-awful,
foul-smelling shit on my plate.

I don't need to play
concerned parent with Shane.

Fine.

Sorry.

That being said,
I would like to know

that someone is concerned.

I promise you, I am.
Shane is not involved.

But if there's anything else
that you think or...

That you know,
I'm -- I'm happy to listen.

God, I wish my ex-wife
talked like that.

But she'd rather shoot me
than fuck me.

I think it's time
you spoke with Shane.

That's a hell of an idea.

Yeah.
Love it.

You warned me
about the publicity,

and I barreled ahead,
gold and glitter in my eyes.

Heedless, reckless.

Stupid.

But you understand what
I was aiming for, right?

The Copenhagen wheels?

Sure, they represented my beliefs

vis-?-vis
modern urban planning.

But it was also my desire
for a better Andy --

a driven,
forward-moving Andy.

In retrospect, it's --
it's textbook.

Me searching for a career
in self-propulsion technology.

Sure.

But at the end of the day...

I fucked it all up.

Here she comes.

Stay in the van.
I'll be right back.

Emma, hi, you heading
to your 1:00 lecture,

or are you heading
to fuck someone over?

What?

First you fucked me --
thanks --

then you fucked my business,

and then, randomly,
my uncle's bike shop.

Bravo.

Oh, come on, you have to admit,

the bike-shop thing
was pretty funny.

Is this some kind
of big game to you?

No. It's business.

But we're Pouncy House,
so we have to have a little fun on top.

You're good at having fun
on top, aren't you?

Ohh. Come on, now.

We rolled a few times,
as I recall.

Hey.

Hey!

This isn't over.

Silas, you guys lost.
Game over.

I want my Copenhagen wheels.

Give me my wheels and an apology.

And fix my bike shop.

No, give me a new bike shop.

Seriously?

Do you not see the nail gun?

Yeah, that's kind of my point.

Get in the van.

Get in the van, or I shoot
a nail in your face.

Andy, what are you --
This is crazy.

No, no, no, no.
I think not.

Crazy would be sitting by,

letting her shit
all over everything,

and not shooting
a nail in her face.

That's crazy.

Get in the van.

Can we calm down?
We'll just talk about this.

You've been talking all morning.
You suck at it.

No more talking.
Climbing. Van. Staying.

Come on, come on,
come on, come on.

This one.
There you go.

It's not like you're gonna
do anything, anyway,

not in broad daylight.

Hey, uh, I'm murdering somebody.

Killing 'em.
It's bad. Bloody.

Does anybody care?
No?

Living your myopic lives?
Okay, cool.

See? Nobody's pressing pause
on their iPod for you.

Andy. Andy!

Do not get in the van.
Hey! This is not you.

Come on.

You're -- you're
no-violence Andy, remember?

I remember nothing.
Put your seat belt on.

- Andy --
- Don't "Andy" me.

Silas. Silas. Silas, Silas, Silas!

Can I at least
get in the van with you?

It's not a van.
It's a giant turd.

I'm captaining a giant turd

when I could be cruising
down a bike lane,

letting the Copenhagen magic

zip-a-dee-doo-dah
my happy little ass

around this gray island.

But party pants
ruined it for everyone,

who still isn't wearing
her seat belt.

Grab the buckle.
Put it in the clip.

Buckle --

Aah!

Well, consider that your warning.

Hey! Andy!

You called my mom?

Grow some hair
on your balls, Botwin.

I'll be in my office --
with the door open.

I know what you're gonna say.

I bet you do.

But it's not so bad.

Actually, it is.

And at the risk
of being predictable, Shane,

what the fuck?!

You're in jail.

Okay, so it's not ideal.

I just did three years --
three years! --

so you wouldn't have to,
and here you are.

I know. I'm sorry.
But I can handle this.

Oh, you and Silas --
you're exactly alike!

I said I'm sorry.
Geez.

What did you tell the cops?

Nothing that'll hurt us.

I can't believe this.

You get reception in here?

Impressive.

Did you ever get bored in prison?

Come on.
I feel like that'd be the toughest thing.

Figure out how to pass the time.
What did you do?

I'll tell you later.
Come on.

Did you fight?

Only in self-defense.

Come on. Shane.

I just want you in college,
you know?

Just, like, chasing girls,
cramming for finals.

Why don't you save that dream
for Stevie?

No, that's not a dream.
That's reality.

That's gonna happen.
Come on.

I'm gonna talk to Mitch.

He said
you could just go home

and then
think about it --

with a lot of swearing
and talk about his ex-wife.

Yeah, Gina's a bitch.

So, Klein didn't just disappear.

He disappeared
with a lot of cash.

Like, petty-cash cash
or cash-cash cash?

By the way,
about Klein's disappearance.

You don't know
what we're talking about.

"Klein didn't just disappear.

He disappeared
with a lot of cash."

"Petty-cash cash
or cash-cash cash?"

Hypersensitive hearing.

Enlarged stirrup in my inner ear.

We expect you to cover for Klein.

Find excuses for his absence.
Do what you got to do.

But do not let the public
and the market catch on.

And replace that cash, obviously.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We got this.

You can return to your highlighting and
handicrafts out there.

- Doug, he was --
- Shh!

Klein was the cash guy.

I don't have
the same connections,

the same skill
to get the money in.

I have come too far, whit.
I've worked too hard.

I made too good a speech
to let this die right now.

Okay, we need the money.
I will get it.

You hear me?
I'll get it!

I was very clear.
I spelled it out.

I chose my words carefully.

How do you not follow?

You called me a zit.

There's a zit,
and then there's the dirt

and the oil and all the grime
behind it.

You're the zit!

Great. Got it.

So, I'm about 4 feet
and a power tool

from doing anything here.

Well, you're a self-painted
corner. Figure it out.

See, you're the manifestation,
not the root cause.

I'm sitting here, asking myself,
what's the root cause?

Where's all the oil and the grime coming
from in your life, Andy?

You got a positive world outlook.

Why does the world not smile
happy smiles in return?

Life's unfair?

Yeah, life's un--
No! Fuck! No.

You're ruining
my train of thought.

Um, pay attention.

Yes, there's the good,
there's the bad.

And when the bad comes
and gets into your house,

your bike shop,

and turns wonderful wonderful
into shit shit,

is it your responsibility
to clean it up?

No, it is not!

Make the responsible parties
clean that shit up!

Ha! That's it!
That's what I'm saying.

You fucked this up.
You fix it.

Silas let you fuck up
his business. He can fix it.

Nancy and her shit --
let her fix it.

Or fuck it up more.
Whatever. I don't care.

Everybody go fuck themselves
and fix their own problems.

That's the message in all this.

Boom! Yes!
Eat my ass, everybody!

Eat my ass, Silas!

Wait, how'd you get in here?
I locked the door.

You think I didn't
have a key made?

Fine. My mistake. I'll, uh --
I'll take care of it.

See?

Can you put down the nail gun?

Yeah, I'd love to,
once she fixes her mistake.

Silas, a little help?
Please.

Fuck it.
Shoot her in the face.

That would be satisfying.

I suppose you have a key, too.

Of course.

Nance?

Nance, I need you
to fix your problem --

problems --
whatever they may be.

I'm not responsible, 'kay?

Okay. I-I thought you
were gonna handle this.

I am.

Yeah, it looks like
Andy is, and --

No, no! Unh-unh!
Handling my problem, not --

you, yours, separate, okay?

Wait your turn.

Whoa!

Okay. Okay,
I'm taking this away now.

I'm taking this.

All right?

- I could have been killed.
- I know.

- Take this.
- Just like that, just when I was figuring it out.

- God damn it, world!
- All right.

Come on.
It's time to leave, Andy.

What? No. But she st--
she started it.

I know. Go home.
Get some rest, okay?

Fine.

What?

Wait, where's my key?

Emma, so nice
to finally meet you.

I must say,
I was mildly impressed.

Your little game
of telephone --

very clever.

And this -- cute.

A bit indirect,
but maybe you're still

searching for your
signature style.

Well, we were gonna go
with skinny jeans and scarves,

but you guys beat us to it.

And your attitude...

Brash.

The thing is,
you've got to make sure

you can back it up
with something.

I can.

You think so?

You're a lawyer-in-training,
right?

So you're good at arguing,
manipulating people.

But you're probably 10 years
out of braces,

and I'm pretty sure you haven't
tried to raise three sons.

I don't see what
that has anything --

You have no clue
what you're getting into.

Are you gonna shoot me
or lecture me, mom?

There are whores,
and there are cheap whores.

I'll be back.

Guess it's my turn.

Shane's not involved.

Well, he's asking me
about cover businesses.

He's reading about Pouncy House.
You do the math, Ms. Botwin.

Shane's not involved.

It's, uh --
it's my older son, Silas.

Shane told me he took the folder
to protect his older brother.

What's his connection with them?

He's just sleeping
with some girl --

um, Emma.

She's one of them.

And beyond that, I don't know.

She's not just one of them.
She's the boss.

Wow.

I thought moving to the city
would be a good idea.

You know, I thought
he was old enough

to make his own decisions.

Older don't mean smarter.

I'm learning that.

God.
How old is your son?

Credit to you guys.

You might be the most fucked-up
family I've ever come across.

And I went to private school.

You're such a piece of shit.

Come on. I didn't intend
to sleep with you.

I just got carried away.

You only intended
to ruin my business.

And what were you doing
when you decided

to push Denny out
of our Wall Street turf?

You think we're just a pushover
little outfit, right?

Oh, mom and son --
that's so cute.

You have no idea.

14 years later, all of a sudden,
it's "stepson" again.

Ugly fucking clausey
modifier word.

- Is he dating yet?
- I don't know.

Every time I ask him,
he changes the subject.

Well, God forbid you should
know he likes girls.

I seen a cute little blonde

coming to and from the house
a couple of times.

Aww.
Are you staking him out?

So, you got to get Silas
away from these people.

Well, he's not 17.
I can't forbid him.

I'm warning you.

It starts with
low-level pot dealing,

and then it builds, fast.

It's not gonna end well
if you keep fucking with us.

We'll take our chances.

Do you guys have a body count?

The Botwins do.

Even if we weren't here,

soon your business
would implode spectacularly.

Models on bikes?
Really?

Okay.

But we have
the most important thing.

You think I'm not
doing everything I can

to steer him away?

Shane just blindly just follows
his older brother.

I'm doing everything I can,

but it's tough as
a single parent without help.

You asking for help?

From you? I wouldn't want
anyone to get arrested.

Not my kids.

But...if we made some arrests
at Pouncy House...

You have the better pot.

But you have
the better technology

and distribution system.

Well, you have the evidence
against them.

- I'm just -- I mean, I'm just saying.
- We do.

We only lack the motivation

to push the file
to the top of the stack.

Well...isn't Shane
motivation enough?

No. No, no, no.

We're supplying the supply.
We get a bigger cut.

Subtract cost
from our percentage,

but we still get an extra
two points for system overhead.

"System overhead"?

We should probably have
more than one land line

and one excel file.

Hey, the brain was solid.

I want that computer back.

Fine.

Fine.

Fine.

One bust...
Quick and dirty.

We get everybody we can.

Where are you gonna do it?

Uh, probably their store.

And make sure
your boy's not there.

I don't know how to thank you.

Just let Shane
ride this out with me.

Call off the cavalry.
I've solved our problem.

Hi, it's Nancy.
Leave me a message.

Thought you might want to know...

I solved our problem.

Call me.