Weeds (2005–2012): Season 2, Episode 11 - Yeah, Like Tomatoes - full transcript
Nancy and Peter's relationship falls apart, and he demands that she and Conrad liquidate and pay him; Nancy and Conrad, however, make different plans of their own; Celia's Drug Free Agrestic initiative fails when all of her signs and cameras are stolen; Celia tells Dean about her affair with Doug, but she ends up out in the cold when Doug doesn't hold up his end of the deal; Nancy tries to communicate with Silas with an ax to his bedroom door, revealing lots of signs and cameras, but no Silas.
Previously on Weeds.
U-Turn, why the fuck ain't
I got this new weed?
This strain is
called MILF weed.
It's the brand of the day.
I totally kick ass!
What does kicking ass entail?
A girlfriend,
but that's not all.
I'm gonna be the class speaker
for graduation.
He doesn't know what I do.
Keep clinging to that raft.
You are new to the neighborhood.
This is to say goodbye.
Dozens were arrested,
including drug
kingpin Aram Kashishian.
...our very first camera.
This is better than porn.
Some fucking lowlife has stolen
two of then already.
And the drug free zone signs
- and the sasquatch costume.
- Drugs are wrong!
I'm Kat. Is Andy here?
How'd you find me?
You must be Shane.
Hi, hug, hug.
You're the crazy chick from Alaska
who tried to kill my uncle?
Abumchuk is very
upset with you.
He read my memoire and
he wants to kill you Andy.
Peter and I are
technically married.
It's a business arrangement.
Pure and simple.
- Silas.
- Go away.
Come on! You can't stay locked
in there forever.
Go to him,
tell him you love him.
Tell him you're out after the harvest,
you get your money back,
Heylia James get
wiped off his board,
I take the equipment
and disappear.
You tell Heylia yourself or did
you have your boy Conrad do it?
I gave you the Armenians.
I gave you the Armenians!
This is just not
fucking working.
This is'nt working.
Agent wonder bread is not
my husband.
I do not love him.
I'm never gonna love him.
You should be careful.
The human body is
very flexible.
Yeah but your small intestines
can get tangled
- and eventually explodes...
- Shane!
Leave Kat alone.
Kat? Please leave my house.
Are you attracting
lesbian vampires?
What?
Pussycat with a nosebleed.
Big red shark week?
Aunt Ruby in town.
Are you asking if I'm
having my period?
We're cycling together.
Isn't that cool?
Andy?
Why is your lunatic girlfriend
still in my house?
Oh don't worry. If no one claims
her in the next few days,
I'll have her put down.
Silas, where were you?
Give me your car keys.
Give me your car keys!
I think not wanting to hear
your mom have sex with a narc
is a good enough reason
to stay out all night.
Nothing happened. Mom kicked
him out after 15 minutes.
- Shane!
- Talk about the fastest gun in the west.
Silas!
- Shark week.
- Shane!
Hey there.
You brought many oranges.
Felt bad for the orange guy.
It's a hot day.
Not a lot of traffic.
Plus I felt bad
about last night.
It was kind of... awkward.
It was.
This is our adjustment
period. Time.
So you're ok with where we are?
As a couple?
Of course.
Feeling good?
- Feeling great.
- Great.
- That's great.
- Yeah.
So how long before you retire
and I get you all to myself?
Soon.
I can't wait.
- Yeah.
- You and me.
You and me.
You want some orange juice?
Fresh squeezed?
No.
Bye.
Thank you.
We can't keep doing this.
You're right.
Let's mix it up a little.
You get on top of me,
but don't face me this time.
No I mean we can't keep fucking
in motel rooms.
I gotta be honest with you.
I'm not that comfortable having sex
in public places.
I'm too tall.
Why are we still
sneaking around
behind the backs of people
we don't even love anymore?
That's how cheating works.
Hey let's play some more
of the surveillance videos.
No, we can't.
Drug free zone bandit finally stole
my last fucking camera.
Is that what we sound like?
Listen to that.
It's so fucking hot.
Would you leave Dean?
What?
Would you leave Dean?
Would you leave Dana?
If I left Dana,
would you leave Dean?
If I left Dean,
would you leave Dana?
Dana doesn't like sex.
She is a fool to reject you.
You are an awesome lay.
So let's do it.
I'm sick of leaving in a
fuckless marriage.
With what you have
between your legs,
it's a waste.
It's like having
this great big boat
and no lake to sail in it.
Wow! Be my lake.
Chill the fuck out! There's
a lot of people in front of you.
Yeah, if you're talkin' that kind of
money I suppose we can move you up.
Right on, man.
Nine o'clock this morning,
our stash was valuated about 300 Gs.
But the market's making a bull
so we just hold off, for say...
...an other week,
we sit on half a million easy.
Do you think that you could string agent
wonder bread along for one more week?
I'll just tell him
my aunt Ruby is in town.
Who?
Nevermind. I'll
string him along.
It'll will be over.
He brought me
oranges this morning.
Half a million, uh?
Fucking shame.
What Viagra was for Pfeizer
MILF weed could
have been for us.
Yeah, fucking shame.
I'll use my cut startin'
my own grow house.
I did it once,
I do it again, better.
Hey gang.
I'm glad you're both here.
I'm starting my own hedge fund
and I'm looking for investors.
Should come look at this.
Did you know that there are
amazing opportunities to be had
in the exploitation of emerging
third world countries?
There's 370 billionaires
in this country
and 40 million people living
beneath the poverty line.
Wake up, seven eleven.
This is the fucking third world.
How do you know all that stuff?
The Daily Show.
Oh my God!
- On the fucking ground.
- Motherfuck...
What the hell are you doing?
No more games,
no more bullshit.
I want the
marriage certificate.
- What?
- I want the certificate,
or your boyfriend here
is going to be just another
dead nigger drug dealer!
It's too late. I sent it in.
We are on record.
My wife?!
My wife.
Why are you doing this?
Because I'm agent wonder bread.
Alright, fuck it.
Fuck the marriage certificate.
Here's how we're gonna play it now.
Take your last harvest,
get a single buyer,
make a quick deal and then
hand all of the cash over to me.
Every goddamn last penny.
And then I want you to make
every effort to ensure
that I never see you again.
All of it?
If you prefer prison to giving up
your payday, I will take you down.
And if I go to,
it serves me right.
Because I laid everything
on the line for you,
and you fucked me.
See you soon.
Give me your fucking phone.
You hear me know motherfucker?!
You hear me?!
Did you sleep in
the guest room?
No.
So where were you?
Fucking Doug.
- What did he do now?
- Me.
Celia, what the hell are
you talking about?
I'm leaving you.
The marriage is over.
I want to divorce.
I'm having an affair with Doug.
It's official:
you've lost your mind.
Where do you think that
I've been all these nights?
Why do you think I've
been so... happy?
Doug Wilson?
I think it's best
if you moved out.
I hear the Oakwood in
Burbank is very nice.
Doug hates you!
Doug loves me, now.
- Unbelievable!
- Why?
You know you're so the kind of guy
this stuff happens to.
Who's gonna tell Isabel?
We'll tell her together.
I wanna live with dad.
Please spell hypocracy.
This is boring.
Shane?
I have to go out.
Somewhere, for a
couple of hours.
Lupita is in her room,
Andy is... someplace.
Are you ok?
- I'm fine.
- You look anxious.
I'm fine.
Hi, Mrs. Botwin.
Oh hi Gretchen.
Shane's right:
you look anxious.
I'm fine.
I'll be home soon.
Your mom is weird.
I know.
How do you spell Gomorrah?
Who cares.
Let's get drunk.
Drunk?
Hey guys.
What's going on?
- Hi Kat.
- Hi.
I'm Shane's girlfriend.
Oh lucky you!
It's our one week anniversary.
Oh my gosh,
I'm so happy for you guys.
The first week is so hard.
But if you haven't slept with
someone else by now,
it's a pretty good sign.
Hey buddy,
your mom gave me orders.
We gotta go to the mall and
pick you a graduation suit.
I'm coming!
I could take this
to a lot of places.
I come to you out of respect.
Respect my ass.
You came to me
'cause you're in trouble.
Yes, yes, I am.
Despite the fact
that you threatened
to kill me
and orphan my children,
you're still the only person
I can make this offer to that I trust.
Hold on.
Come on. Let's go.
You're gonna be late.
Don't look at me like that.
I know your mamma now.
So what you got to say?
Buy our harvest.
Bargain, basement, prices.
Walk away with 6 months worth
of the best shit in town.
Double, triple,
your investment.
And who am I supposed to sell it to?
These kids here?
I know your game is shut down.
Take it back East.
You're always talking about buying a
place next to your sisters in Detroit.
Oh, so now I'm supposed
to traffic across state lines.
Ain't that genius?
Take a business
took me 20 years to build
and just pick it up
and move it some place else.
You tell me you getting the
shakedown from Mr. Federal Agent?
Well good.
Welcome to the fucking party!
Conrad know you come to see me?
No. You're buying or not?
You two are like them big companies
pumping toxic shit in the air
and then acting
all surprised when ice caps melt
and hurricanes
drown New Orleans.
Fuck you. I drive a Prius.
Hey, Vaneeta.
Conrad's in up to
his bald fuckin head.
Oh, we going to jail.
She's just so awesome.
Uncle Andy, do you love Kat?
- No. No, no.
- Then why are you with her?
She makes me crazy...
and she makes me crazy.
Will you stop hitting
on my boyfriend?
Hold him too tight
and he'll turn to dust.
- Bite me!
- All right.
Gloves off.
You want a piece of me?
It's all fucked up but it's never
boring, you know? Look at this.
See that scar?
She stabbed me with a icicle
when she thought I kicked one
of her spirit animals.
What's a spirit animal?
Who the fuck knows?
10 stiches!
But she keeps me on my toes.
All 8 of them.
When I'm with her, I'm alive.
It's him. We better go out
the back. It's him.
- Who?
- Abumchuck.
The eskimo?
He's big.
Yeah, he wears a size 15 MaClock.
It's go time.
Uh... we're gonna
take this one.
Who are you?
I'm a business woman.
What do you want?
Something you want.
Pussy?
Even better.
Yo, U-Turn.
Which one is he?
Let's see if you can guess.
Lose the shirt.
Check ball.
What you want from me, man?
I'm looking to sell
about 30 pounds of sexy mamma.
- Yeah, that's a big move.
- Interested!
- Rejected!
- All right.
Man, I'm talking
about your weak ass shot.
I'll take some. Ball!
Let me ask you something.
Why our bitches got to be
so fucked up and crazy as shit?
Well, um...
I don't know, uh...
It's not easy being a girl,
you know, we have a lot of...
- issues.
- Fuck that bullshit.
Okay.
No, all or nothing.
That's the deal that's on the table.
You're heavy enough
to handle it?
Do I look like
I'm heavy enough?
You know this bitch tried
to fucking light me on fire.
What did you do?
I didn't do nothing.
I fucked her sister.
She only tried
to let you know how hurt she was.
Hey, I got hurt too.
Skanky fucking sister
gave me crabs.
Oh, well,
that must be uncomfortable.
- It's like a motherfucker.
- A little help.
So how much?
- 300.
- Why so cheap?
We like you. Are you in?
Yeah, I'll take it.
Get the cash.
I'll call you with an address.
Deal go down
tomorrow afternoon.
- The fuck is that?
- Dap.
It's what my sons
taught me. Dap.
- Say dap again.
- Dap.
That fucking tickles me.
- Yeah, me too.
- Shut the fuck up, Marvin.
Some motherfucking lady nigga.
Pleasure doing
business with you.
Hey.
Why don't you take
your shirt off.
Come ball with us.
It's tempting.
I wouldn't want Marvin's girlfriend
to get the wrong idea though.
Damn! If Conrad ain't tapping
that pussy, that's one dumb nigga.
38 fucking pounds of
MILF tomorrow afternoon.
Now where you supposed to get
that kind of money by tomorrow?
Nigga, we got guns.
They ain't got any.
What the fuck you gonna do?
God!
I feel so liberated!
Did Dean freak out?
It was just... sad.
Poor schmuck.
How did Dana take it?
She would have been devastated.
Would have been?
- I was going to...
- Yes.
I remember the plan.
But I just... I couldn't.
But we can still
see each other.
I mean the sex is fantastic.
And look on the bright side,
one of us doesn't have
to go sneaking around anymore.
Lucky you!
- You didn't do it?
- You're mad, aren't you?
- You didn't do it!
- You are mad.
Why the fuck didn't you do it?
Because you're a fucking
spineless motherfucker.
- That's why.
- Okay.
Dean used to talk about all th
terrible things you'd say to him,
the horrible way
you'd treat him.
Dana won't fuck me
but she's a sweetheart.
It's nice to live with sweet.
You're not sweet.
I think this is a
non smoking room.
Actually I don't think
you can smoke in any hotel room
in the state of California.
Now that's exactly what
I was talking about.
- Yeah.
- It's me.
Tomorrow. 3 o'clock
at the grow house.
Just you and me and
you friend, right?
You and me and the money.
No, I want you to bring
your friend along too.
Why?
Just wouldn't be
any fun without him.
I'll see you
tomorrow, sweetheart.
I need you to get out of here
before tomorrow.
Oh, fuck!
It's Shane's graduation.
I can't do this.
You're gonna reschedule
with U-Turn?
Worst mother ever.
Go to your boy's graduation.
I will make this shit happen.
No, you need to get
on a bus and go now.
- You need to take that duffelbag...
- I'm staying.
Think about
relocating yourself.
I'll see you tomorrow.
Stop being such a drama queen!
You know you're
not going anywhere.
- What about yesterday?
- I didn't mean it.
- So you didn't have an affair?
- No, I did. We did.
- But it's over. I'm over it.
- Well, maybe I'm not.
Oh, stop it.
You're totally overreacting.
You know that you're
not going anywhere.
That's right. I'm not. You are.
- No, I'm not.
- Yeah, you are.
Your bags are packed.
You are now longer
welcome in my house. I'm done.
Dean...
Done. Finished. Goodbye!
I'm not going anywhere.
Here's your car key.
I suggest you hire a lawyer.
I've been thinking
it might be a good idea to
live somewhere else
for a while, you know?
Get a fresh start.
- Flee?
- Relocate, okay?
What does everyone
think about that?
I'm up for it.
Andy, get rid of her.
I'm a part of this family.
Just because you're crazy
and we're crazy
does not mean we're related.
I'm gonna grow on you,
you'll see.
- Wait in the van.
- Is this about Abumchuck?
Actually, no.
- What are we fleeing from?
- It's not Abumchuck.
About Abumchuck...
he's not really my boyfriend.
Please don't make me guess.
Don't worry,
he's just this bounty hunter.
I did something illegal.
Can Kat come with us?
- No.
- No.
So why we gotta blow town?
Your narc not cool
with what you're doing anymore?
I'm just thinking
we should explore the notion of
- perhaps living somewhere else.
- Costa Rica.
You are a drug dealer.
Yes, Shane.
I grow and sell marijuana.
It's organic.
It's therapeutic.
It's of the Earth like...
tomatoes.
Yeah.
Like tomatoes.
Fuck this. You go in your room
and lock the door
one more time...
Not a good time to leave,
big guy.
Fucking had it with him!
Am I still gonna have
my graduation party tomorrow?
Yeah.
Might have to double
as a going away party.
- What's she gonna do?
- I'm as curious as you are.
Silas! Unlock this door!
Grrr! Drugs are wrong!
U-Turn, why the fuck ain't
I got this new weed?
This strain is
called MILF weed.
It's the brand of the day.
I totally kick ass!
What does kicking ass entail?
A girlfriend,
but that's not all.
I'm gonna be the class speaker
for graduation.
He doesn't know what I do.
Keep clinging to that raft.
You are new to the neighborhood.
This is to say goodbye.
Dozens were arrested,
including drug
kingpin Aram Kashishian.
...our very first camera.
This is better than porn.
Some fucking lowlife has stolen
two of then already.
And the drug free zone signs
- and the sasquatch costume.
- Drugs are wrong!
I'm Kat. Is Andy here?
How'd you find me?
You must be Shane.
Hi, hug, hug.
You're the crazy chick from Alaska
who tried to kill my uncle?
Abumchuk is very
upset with you.
He read my memoire and
he wants to kill you Andy.
Peter and I are
technically married.
It's a business arrangement.
Pure and simple.
- Silas.
- Go away.
Come on! You can't stay locked
in there forever.
Go to him,
tell him you love him.
Tell him you're out after the harvest,
you get your money back,
Heylia James get
wiped off his board,
I take the equipment
and disappear.
You tell Heylia yourself or did
you have your boy Conrad do it?
I gave you the Armenians.
I gave you the Armenians!
This is just not
fucking working.
This is'nt working.
Agent wonder bread is not
my husband.
I do not love him.
I'm never gonna love him.
You should be careful.
The human body is
very flexible.
Yeah but your small intestines
can get tangled
- and eventually explodes...
- Shane!
Leave Kat alone.
Kat? Please leave my house.
Are you attracting
lesbian vampires?
What?
Pussycat with a nosebleed.
Big red shark week?
Aunt Ruby in town.
Are you asking if I'm
having my period?
We're cycling together.
Isn't that cool?
Andy?
Why is your lunatic girlfriend
still in my house?
Oh don't worry. If no one claims
her in the next few days,
I'll have her put down.
Silas, where were you?
Give me your car keys.
Give me your car keys!
I think not wanting to hear
your mom have sex with a narc
is a good enough reason
to stay out all night.
Nothing happened. Mom kicked
him out after 15 minutes.
- Shane!
- Talk about the fastest gun in the west.
Silas!
- Shark week.
- Shane!
Hey there.
You brought many oranges.
Felt bad for the orange guy.
It's a hot day.
Not a lot of traffic.
Plus I felt bad
about last night.
It was kind of... awkward.
It was.
This is our adjustment
period. Time.
So you're ok with where we are?
As a couple?
Of course.
Feeling good?
- Feeling great.
- Great.
- That's great.
- Yeah.
So how long before you retire
and I get you all to myself?
Soon.
I can't wait.
- Yeah.
- You and me.
You and me.
You want some orange juice?
Fresh squeezed?
No.
Bye.
Thank you.
We can't keep doing this.
You're right.
Let's mix it up a little.
You get on top of me,
but don't face me this time.
No I mean we can't keep fucking
in motel rooms.
I gotta be honest with you.
I'm not that comfortable having sex
in public places.
I'm too tall.
Why are we still
sneaking around
behind the backs of people
we don't even love anymore?
That's how cheating works.
Hey let's play some more
of the surveillance videos.
No, we can't.
Drug free zone bandit finally stole
my last fucking camera.
Is that what we sound like?
Listen to that.
It's so fucking hot.
Would you leave Dean?
What?
Would you leave Dean?
Would you leave Dana?
If I left Dana,
would you leave Dean?
If I left Dean,
would you leave Dana?
Dana doesn't like sex.
She is a fool to reject you.
You are an awesome lay.
So let's do it.
I'm sick of leaving in a
fuckless marriage.
With what you have
between your legs,
it's a waste.
It's like having
this great big boat
and no lake to sail in it.
Wow! Be my lake.
Chill the fuck out! There's
a lot of people in front of you.
Yeah, if you're talkin' that kind of
money I suppose we can move you up.
Right on, man.
Nine o'clock this morning,
our stash was valuated about 300 Gs.
But the market's making a bull
so we just hold off, for say...
...an other week,
we sit on half a million easy.
Do you think that you could string agent
wonder bread along for one more week?
I'll just tell him
my aunt Ruby is in town.
Who?
Nevermind. I'll
string him along.
It'll will be over.
He brought me
oranges this morning.
Half a million, uh?
Fucking shame.
What Viagra was for Pfeizer
MILF weed could
have been for us.
Yeah, fucking shame.
I'll use my cut startin'
my own grow house.
I did it once,
I do it again, better.
Hey gang.
I'm glad you're both here.
I'm starting my own hedge fund
and I'm looking for investors.
Should come look at this.
Did you know that there are
amazing opportunities to be had
in the exploitation of emerging
third world countries?
There's 370 billionaires
in this country
and 40 million people living
beneath the poverty line.
Wake up, seven eleven.
This is the fucking third world.
How do you know all that stuff?
The Daily Show.
Oh my God!
- On the fucking ground.
- Motherfuck...
What the hell are you doing?
No more games,
no more bullshit.
I want the
marriage certificate.
- What?
- I want the certificate,
or your boyfriend here
is going to be just another
dead nigger drug dealer!
It's too late. I sent it in.
We are on record.
My wife?!
My wife.
Why are you doing this?
Because I'm agent wonder bread.
Alright, fuck it.
Fuck the marriage certificate.
Here's how we're gonna play it now.
Take your last harvest,
get a single buyer,
make a quick deal and then
hand all of the cash over to me.
Every goddamn last penny.
And then I want you to make
every effort to ensure
that I never see you again.
All of it?
If you prefer prison to giving up
your payday, I will take you down.
And if I go to,
it serves me right.
Because I laid everything
on the line for you,
and you fucked me.
See you soon.
Give me your fucking phone.
You hear me know motherfucker?!
You hear me?!
Did you sleep in
the guest room?
No.
So where were you?
Fucking Doug.
- What did he do now?
- Me.
Celia, what the hell are
you talking about?
I'm leaving you.
The marriage is over.
I want to divorce.
I'm having an affair with Doug.
It's official:
you've lost your mind.
Where do you think that
I've been all these nights?
Why do you think I've
been so... happy?
Doug Wilson?
I think it's best
if you moved out.
I hear the Oakwood in
Burbank is very nice.
Doug hates you!
Doug loves me, now.
- Unbelievable!
- Why?
You know you're so the kind of guy
this stuff happens to.
Who's gonna tell Isabel?
We'll tell her together.
I wanna live with dad.
Please spell hypocracy.
This is boring.
Shane?
I have to go out.
Somewhere, for a
couple of hours.
Lupita is in her room,
Andy is... someplace.
Are you ok?
- I'm fine.
- You look anxious.
I'm fine.
Hi, Mrs. Botwin.
Oh hi Gretchen.
Shane's right:
you look anxious.
I'm fine.
I'll be home soon.
Your mom is weird.
I know.
How do you spell Gomorrah?
Who cares.
Let's get drunk.
Drunk?
Hey guys.
What's going on?
- Hi Kat.
- Hi.
I'm Shane's girlfriend.
Oh lucky you!
It's our one week anniversary.
Oh my gosh,
I'm so happy for you guys.
The first week is so hard.
But if you haven't slept with
someone else by now,
it's a pretty good sign.
Hey buddy,
your mom gave me orders.
We gotta go to the mall and
pick you a graduation suit.
I'm coming!
I could take this
to a lot of places.
I come to you out of respect.
Respect my ass.
You came to me
'cause you're in trouble.
Yes, yes, I am.
Despite the fact
that you threatened
to kill me
and orphan my children,
you're still the only person
I can make this offer to that I trust.
Hold on.
Come on. Let's go.
You're gonna be late.
Don't look at me like that.
I know your mamma now.
So what you got to say?
Buy our harvest.
Bargain, basement, prices.
Walk away with 6 months worth
of the best shit in town.
Double, triple,
your investment.
And who am I supposed to sell it to?
These kids here?
I know your game is shut down.
Take it back East.
You're always talking about buying a
place next to your sisters in Detroit.
Oh, so now I'm supposed
to traffic across state lines.
Ain't that genius?
Take a business
took me 20 years to build
and just pick it up
and move it some place else.
You tell me you getting the
shakedown from Mr. Federal Agent?
Well good.
Welcome to the fucking party!
Conrad know you come to see me?
No. You're buying or not?
You two are like them big companies
pumping toxic shit in the air
and then acting
all surprised when ice caps melt
and hurricanes
drown New Orleans.
Fuck you. I drive a Prius.
Hey, Vaneeta.
Conrad's in up to
his bald fuckin head.
Oh, we going to jail.
She's just so awesome.
Uncle Andy, do you love Kat?
- No. No, no.
- Then why are you with her?
She makes me crazy...
and she makes me crazy.
Will you stop hitting
on my boyfriend?
Hold him too tight
and he'll turn to dust.
- Bite me!
- All right.
Gloves off.
You want a piece of me?
It's all fucked up but it's never
boring, you know? Look at this.
See that scar?
She stabbed me with a icicle
when she thought I kicked one
of her spirit animals.
What's a spirit animal?
Who the fuck knows?
10 stiches!
But she keeps me on my toes.
All 8 of them.
When I'm with her, I'm alive.
It's him. We better go out
the back. It's him.
- Who?
- Abumchuck.
The eskimo?
He's big.
Yeah, he wears a size 15 MaClock.
It's go time.
Uh... we're gonna
take this one.
Who are you?
I'm a business woman.
What do you want?
Something you want.
Pussy?
Even better.
Yo, U-Turn.
Which one is he?
Let's see if you can guess.
Lose the shirt.
Check ball.
What you want from me, man?
I'm looking to sell
about 30 pounds of sexy mamma.
- Yeah, that's a big move.
- Interested!
- Rejected!
- All right.
Man, I'm talking
about your weak ass shot.
I'll take some. Ball!
Let me ask you something.
Why our bitches got to be
so fucked up and crazy as shit?
Well, um...
I don't know, uh...
It's not easy being a girl,
you know, we have a lot of...
- issues.
- Fuck that bullshit.
Okay.
No, all or nothing.
That's the deal that's on the table.
You're heavy enough
to handle it?
Do I look like
I'm heavy enough?
You know this bitch tried
to fucking light me on fire.
What did you do?
I didn't do nothing.
I fucked her sister.
She only tried
to let you know how hurt she was.
Hey, I got hurt too.
Skanky fucking sister
gave me crabs.
Oh, well,
that must be uncomfortable.
- It's like a motherfucker.
- A little help.
So how much?
- 300.
- Why so cheap?
We like you. Are you in?
Yeah, I'll take it.
Get the cash.
I'll call you with an address.
Deal go down
tomorrow afternoon.
- The fuck is that?
- Dap.
It's what my sons
taught me. Dap.
- Say dap again.
- Dap.
That fucking tickles me.
- Yeah, me too.
- Shut the fuck up, Marvin.
Some motherfucking lady nigga.
Pleasure doing
business with you.
Hey.
Why don't you take
your shirt off.
Come ball with us.
It's tempting.
I wouldn't want Marvin's girlfriend
to get the wrong idea though.
Damn! If Conrad ain't tapping
that pussy, that's one dumb nigga.
38 fucking pounds of
MILF tomorrow afternoon.
Now where you supposed to get
that kind of money by tomorrow?
Nigga, we got guns.
They ain't got any.
What the fuck you gonna do?
God!
I feel so liberated!
Did Dean freak out?
It was just... sad.
Poor schmuck.
How did Dana take it?
She would have been devastated.
Would have been?
- I was going to...
- Yes.
I remember the plan.
But I just... I couldn't.
But we can still
see each other.
I mean the sex is fantastic.
And look on the bright side,
one of us doesn't have
to go sneaking around anymore.
Lucky you!
- You didn't do it?
- You're mad, aren't you?
- You didn't do it!
- You are mad.
Why the fuck didn't you do it?
Because you're a fucking
spineless motherfucker.
- That's why.
- Okay.
Dean used to talk about all th
terrible things you'd say to him,
the horrible way
you'd treat him.
Dana won't fuck me
but she's a sweetheart.
It's nice to live with sweet.
You're not sweet.
I think this is a
non smoking room.
Actually I don't think
you can smoke in any hotel room
in the state of California.
Now that's exactly what
I was talking about.
- Yeah.
- It's me.
Tomorrow. 3 o'clock
at the grow house.
Just you and me and
you friend, right?
You and me and the money.
No, I want you to bring
your friend along too.
Why?
Just wouldn't be
any fun without him.
I'll see you
tomorrow, sweetheart.
I need you to get out of here
before tomorrow.
Oh, fuck!
It's Shane's graduation.
I can't do this.
You're gonna reschedule
with U-Turn?
Worst mother ever.
Go to your boy's graduation.
I will make this shit happen.
No, you need to get
on a bus and go now.
- You need to take that duffelbag...
- I'm staying.
Think about
relocating yourself.
I'll see you tomorrow.
Stop being such a drama queen!
You know you're
not going anywhere.
- What about yesterday?
- I didn't mean it.
- So you didn't have an affair?
- No, I did. We did.
- But it's over. I'm over it.
- Well, maybe I'm not.
Oh, stop it.
You're totally overreacting.
You know that you're
not going anywhere.
That's right. I'm not. You are.
- No, I'm not.
- Yeah, you are.
Your bags are packed.
You are now longer
welcome in my house. I'm done.
Dean...
Done. Finished. Goodbye!
I'm not going anywhere.
Here's your car key.
I suggest you hire a lawyer.
I've been thinking
it might be a good idea to
live somewhere else
for a while, you know?
Get a fresh start.
- Flee?
- Relocate, okay?
What does everyone
think about that?
I'm up for it.
Andy, get rid of her.
I'm a part of this family.
Just because you're crazy
and we're crazy
does not mean we're related.
I'm gonna grow on you,
you'll see.
- Wait in the van.
- Is this about Abumchuck?
Actually, no.
- What are we fleeing from?
- It's not Abumchuck.
About Abumchuck...
he's not really my boyfriend.
Please don't make me guess.
Don't worry,
he's just this bounty hunter.
I did something illegal.
Can Kat come with us?
- No.
- No.
So why we gotta blow town?
Your narc not cool
with what you're doing anymore?
I'm just thinking
we should explore the notion of
- perhaps living somewhere else.
- Costa Rica.
You are a drug dealer.
Yes, Shane.
I grow and sell marijuana.
It's organic.
It's therapeutic.
It's of the Earth like...
tomatoes.
Yeah.
Like tomatoes.
Fuck this. You go in your room
and lock the door
one more time...
Not a good time to leave,
big guy.
Fucking had it with him!
Am I still gonna have
my graduation party tomorrow?
Yeah.
Might have to double
as a going away party.
- What's she gonna do?
- I'm as curious as you are.
Silas! Unlock this door!
Grrr! Drugs are wrong!